


Until The End

by AkiraAndGrace



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abusive Grisha Yeager, Ackerman gangsters, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Asshole Grisha Yeager, Bottom Eren Yeager, Car Accident, College Student Eren Yeager, College Student Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Did I Mention Angst?, Drug Use, Eren Sucks at eating, Everyone Is Gay, First Time Flying, Grisha Yeager's Bad Parenting, Hurt/Comfort, Levi good parents, M/M, Overdose, Panic Attacks, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, can I get an amen, farlan is an ass, gaaaaaaayyyyyyy, poor Izzy, sailboats, someone else gets shot, someone gets shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-17 22:53:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 40
Words: 221,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10603959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkiraAndGrace/pseuds/AkiraAndGrace
Summary: Eren doesn’t know what the fuck he’s living for anymore. Between living alone, not eating, self-harming, and having to keep up with his classes, he feels suffocated by life, and his father’s past abuse is no help. The only times he feels slightly less buried are the mornings when he chats with the blond-haired cutie who runs the coffee shop near campus.At least, those were the only times until he meets the new TA for his French Lit class. Levi is small in stature, overwhelmingly sarcastic, and for some reason, interested in keeping Eren from self-destruction. Why he cares, Eren has no idea, but perhaps he can help pull Eren out of his own head before something happens that can’t be undone.





	1. Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> Grace and I are so excited to be posting our first co-authored piece! We love Eren and Levi together and we also love drama so naturally we decided to create our own little world for our loves. 
> 
> We hope you enjoy reading this piece as much as we've enjoyed writing it!
> 
> If you like the story, check us out on youtube to get up dates and see some of our other content!
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrmm2djp3s5rz6QGhi6XJlw

As he walked into his dark apartment after his last Friday class, he dropped the stack of work on the table and stood there for a brief moment.  _ What am I doing with my life?  _ He really couldn’t decide if he was doing the right thing or not anymore. He was going through the motions of college, but with no desire to succeed there. His last relationship had gone to shit, not that he had tried that hard anyway. . . He was done, no one would love him again.  _ Hell, to be honest I don’t even care about myself anymore. Fuck this. _

 

Cold and dark. That was the only feeling that Eren had left. Ever since his mother had died and his loser father had walked out on him, Eren had learned to fend for himself. His life had really gone downhill from there. Grisha had been abusive, so he was grateful when he finally left, but still, it was difficult to be alone so much. The silence in the apartment constantly wore down on him, and the darkness crept up like a shadow. Before he knew it, there was no going back. Eren had found ways to cope though - a sharpened razor along his tanned skin was one way. For a fleeting moment as the tears of red fell down his arms, he could feel  _ something. _

 

Eren slumped down into the couch and cast a bored glance around the room, his eyes falling on the mountain of homework he had to get done before Monday. He probably wouldn’t touch it until tomorrow night. School just stressed him out at this point.  He closed his eyes as he sunk deeper into the couch. He didn’t really want to sleep, but he felt that sleep was going to take him anyway. He hadn’t really slept in over 3 days; the nightmares saw to that. He hated Grisha. As if the abuse wasn’t bad enough, now Eren had to deal with reliving the whole experience in gruesome detail in his sleep, usually resulting in a panic attack as soon as he awoke. 

 

He sighed as he dozed off, arms falling softly by his sides. No sooner had his consciousness faded than the nightmares began, full force as always. . . 

 

Eren jumped from his desk as he heard the front door burst open.  _ Shit…. Dad’s home.  _ He rushed to hide in his closet. His father was not something that he wanted to deal with. The cuts and bruises from last time still weren’t healed. And whenever Grisha came home, he was drunk and wanted a toy. That was the only time Eren ever saw him anymore. Mom’s death hit them both hard, but Grisha more so. It had broken him, and he took it out on Eren anytime he was home. 

 

He could hear Grisha’s drunken steps as they came down the hall. With each step Eren’s breath got quieter. He just had to stay quiet, and his sad excuse for a father would leave him alone. The scared 15 year old held his breath as he heard the door to his room swing open. The steps got closer and Eren squeezed his eyes shut tight, praying to whatever god might be listening. Suddenly the closet door was ripped open, and Eren bit his lip to keep from crying out as Grisha pulled him from the closet by his hair, throwing him against the foot of the bed. His head snapped against the bedpost with a loud crack. He scrambled to crawl away, he had to get away, but Grisha was faster. A swift kick to Eren's stomach was all it took to bring him down. 

 

“Good for nothing boy! What do you think you're doing hiding from me? I pay for you to live here, so the least you can do is show your ugly mug when I come home!” The drunk man stumbled over to the young boy. Grabbing him by the hair once more, he growled into his ear as he pulled his head back, “...And more than that. I believe I require some compensation for keeping you fed.” Grisha swiftly ripped off Eren's sweat pants and boxers. “And you are damn well going to give it to me!” He roared. 

 

Eren bit down on his lip, wishing for help but knowing it would never come as he felt the searing pain rip through him as the drunkard thrust into him. Taking him without any care, after a few moments the pain was just too much for Eren to bare as he felt his consciousness slipping away.

  
  


Eren jerked awake, a scream tearing from his throat. He soon realized that he couldn't breathe, the all too familiar but never welcome weight on his chest, like a ton of bricks threatening to crush his very existence. His lungs refused to inflate, refusing to let him breathe the precious air around him. He clutched his chest, willing himself to calm down. As blackness started clouding his vision, he knew he was losing this one. Quickly he tried to start counting backwards. Anything to keep the darkness at bay.  _ 100, 99, 98, 97… _ Slowly he was allowed a small amount of air; he gasped at the relief it gave. After a few more moments, he was finally able to take normal, albeit shaky, breaths.  _ Fuck. Four years and the asshole still haunts me.  _ That nightmare was one he really didn't want to remember, the night Grisha had raped him -- the first time. There were many times after that, but it never got any easier. The pain was almost always more than he could handle. Those nights went on for about another year before Grisha disappeared all together. Not that Eren was complaining. He managed to get a job and save up to get his own apartment  so that he didn't have to worry about that monster coming home for him any longer. 

 

He pretended to enjoy his job, but it was really nothing more than a way to take his mind off his problems. He worked for the University’s newspaper as a photographer. One of the perks of the job was that he could take a few classes at a huge discount every semester. For now, he was going for literature. He used to enjoy reading, so he figured if he went to school for something similar, maybe he could make it work. So far that plan had been a failure, yet somehow he managed to keep his grades at least above Cs. 

 

Dragging himself up off the couch, Eren worked his way toward the small kitchen and got himself a glass of water from the sink. Quickly downing the cool liquid, he tried to continue to regulate his breathing.  _ Why is this so damn hard. Just eat, sleep, and breathe. That's all you have to do Jaeger. Why is that so difficult for you? Pull your shit together, man. Lots of people have it lots worse than you. _ Setting down the glass, he slunk off to the bathroom, opening up the cabinet and pulling out a familiar razor. Sitting down on the side of the tub, he slowly dragged the razor long and deep along his forearm. The sharp pain grounded him - it felt good, real, he wasn't dreaming, he was alive, and he could feel. After 3 or 4 red tracks had been left, the razor fell from his hand. Eren watched the red flow down his arm as he felt the dizziness encroach. He sighed as he stood and reached for the roll of gauze he always left out in case he took it a little too far. He tightly wrapped his arm to slow the loss of blood.  _ This is going to be a long weekend… _


	2. Teacher's Assistant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 2! We hope you enjoy! 
> 
> As always follow us on youtube for updates or if you just want to see us be crazy! ^_^
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrmm2djp3s5rz6QGhi6XJlw

Eren dragged himself out of bed as his alarm screamed at him to get up.  _ Mondays fucking suck. God damn 8am class.  _ Eren was by no means a morning person, and his early morning Monday class always kicked him when he was down. French Literature was at least usually worth getting up for. The professor was animated enough about the topic that he was able to loosely hold Eren's interest for the 50 minutes of class time. As he stumbled around the room getting dressed and gathering his things, he looked down at his arms.  _ Well shit. Guess there won't be any t-shirts for me today.  _ He dragged out a dark green long sleeve shirt and a khaki vest, pairing it with a pair of white skinny jeans and his favorite boots.  _ Well, I'm a bit overdressed for the weather, but it'll do.  _ He thought as he glanced in the mirror,  _ can't have anyone worry over why I'm sliced to ribbons. It would be a hassle to explain.  _

 

Eren tossed all the homework in his messenger bag and slung it over his shoulder. He had finished it all and managed to get 2 or 3  hours of peaceful sleep before he had to be up.  He quickly made his way out the door and started walking toward campus. Checking his watch, he decided he had just enough time to stop for coffee and veered off the path into Cafe Shina. He hated coffee, but Shina’s was at least bearable. And the caffeine was all that kept him awake at this point.

“Eren! Good morning! Always a pleasure to see you!” The small blond haired boy shot Eren a dazzling smile. He couldn't help but give a small smile in return. 

“Morning Armin, how's business today? I'm sure you're picking up with finals just around the corner.” Eren had met Armin his freshman year at Kyojin University. He quickly discovered his need for caffeine and had stumbled upon Armin’s cafe one day on his way home from class. The two young men hit it off pretty well, having a few of the same interests, one of which being books.  Armin had chosen to start his own coffee shop with his boyfriend Erwin instead of going to college. So far that had proven a wise decision for him. 

 

The little ball of sunshine glowed whenever he talked about his shop. Eren was proud of his friend’s success. 

“Oh, you know! Same as usual. The students love the extra hours we stay open for finals week, so they are always supportive of the shop. Never a dull moment around here! I suppose you want the usual? To go as well, right? You've got a class here soon, right? French lit?” Eren chuckled to himself. Armin always did have a knack for remembering the small details. 

 

“Yeah the usual to go would be great, class is at 8.” Glancing down at his watch, he checked the time.  _ 20 minutes. I'm still good.  _ “Where's Erwin at today? You’re usually attached at the hip.” Eren had to keep himself from laughing as Armin got even brighter than he already was. Asking about Erwin did that to him. 

“Oh he just ran to the store for me! We ran out of whipped cream!  Can you believe that? I must have made a mistake in my order this past week. He’ll be back soon! I’m sure you’ll already be gone though, class and all.” The little blonde ball of sunshine flipped his hair as he turned back to Eren’s coffee, which was in progress. He quickly finished it up and handed the steaming liquid over to Eren. “Here ya go! On the house today, now get to class!” Armin winked and shooed Eren out the door. “Don’t be late for once! I’ll see you later!” Eren grinned as he walked down the sidewalk, making his way to class. 

“Yeah, see you around, Armin!”

 

Sipping his coffee as he walked, he allowed himself to slump a bit more as soon as he knew he was out of Armin’s line of sight. He always tried to appear as happy as possible around him. Eren just couldn’t bring himself to dull the light that Armin gave off with any of his own negativity. Sighing deeply, he realized how tired he felt after even just that small amount of effort to fake it. Walking into the English department, he turned down the hall toward the elevator. Hopefully it wouldn’t be too slow today; he might actually make it to class on time. Eren slipped into the already packed elevator and took it to the 5th floor. He mulled over what the assigned reading was for today as he finished off his coffee, Madam Bovary. It wasn’t a bad book to be honest. He had almost enjoyed it. He absentmindedly walked off the elevator and into class, sinking silently into his desk, staring holes into the table top until an unfamiliar voice commanded the attention of the room. Eren looked up in absent minded curiosity only to be left breathless at the man who stood at the front of the room. 

 

The man at the front of the room had pitch black hair with one hell of a sexy undercut, and had a soft part to the right.  _ Wait, since when was an undercut sexy? Huh. Apparently since 5 seconds ago when this guy walked in… _  Eren scanned the man in front of him. He appeared to be about 2-3 inches shorter than himself, he was wearing slim fit grey dress pants, a white shirt, and a blue sport jacket that beautifully accented his steel grey eyes. He had two small piercings in each ear, also sexy.  _ Hold up Jaeger. Sexy undercut is enough. And piercings? Actually, since when do you find a man attractive? Get your shit together man. He is a  _ _ man. _ Eren shook his head a little bit, tearing his gaze away from the man. Until he opened his mouth again that is.

 

“Good morning brats. I’m Levi, I’ll be filling in for your usual professor today. I’m a TA in the literature department. Don’t expect me to go easy on you however. Literature is a serious matter and you shouldn’t take it lightly.” Levi’s gaze scanned the room, stopping on the mop of brown hair that was desperately trying to look everywhere but at the attractive TA. Eren could feel his gaze on him and couldn’t help but look up. As their eyes met his heart all but stopped. He desperately wished he wasn’t in class. He would have his camera out in no time flat to capture this god in his viewfinder. Eren completely ignored most of the content of the class; he was too busy hanging on every delicious sound that rolled off of Levi's lips and memorizing the way his small form moved so smoothly. Before he knew it, class had come to an end, and Levi was walking out of the room. Eren quickly grabbed his bag and rushed to follow him, easily catching up to him since his legs were longer. 

 

“L-Levi!” Eren nervously called out to the man, struggling to hide his smile when the smaller man stopped and turned to him.    
  


“Yes? Do you have a question about the topics we discussed today?” Levi looked him up and down as he said this. Eren hoped it was a look of interest. 

 

“Well. . . Not really. . . I-I had kinda just hoped I could talk to you for a few minutes?” Eren rubbed the back of his neck, sheepishly looking down to hide the faint blush on his cheeks. “I uh. . . I haven’t seen you around the department before, s-so I thought that it would be nice to um. . . maybe get to know each other a little? Since we have the same study focus and all. . .?”

 

“While I appreciate the gesture, I don’t have time to be running around with a brat while I should be working on my thesis,” Levi replied quickly. Eren’s head jerked up quickly as he grasped for what to say to Levi’s response. 

 

“What about coffee then! Just once, I know this great little coffee shop! And you could still study so it wouldn’t take time away at all?” Eren’s blush deepened as he realized how desperate he probably sounded right now. But he hadn’t ever felt such a strong need to get to know someone before. In fact, he couldn’t remember feeling this strongly about  _ anything _ before.

 

“I don’t drink coffee. Thanks anyway.” Levi turned and started to walk away.

 

“Tea! They have tea, of course you’d like that better, it seems to fit you better anyway.” Eren grabbed at Levi’s arm to try to buy some time. Levi pulled away as if he’d been burned and slapped away Eren’s arm. Eren yelped softly in pain, he hadn’t thought that one through. He grimaced as he held his arm, feeling warmth starting to spread.  _ Shit, it's bleeding again… _

 

“Don’t touch me with your filthy hands, bra --” He stopped mid word when he noticed the look of pain on the brunette’s face. “Oh come on now, I know I didn’t hit you that hard.” 

 

Eren let his arm fall to his side, “No, of course you didn’t, what am I thinking, I really am overreacting. I’ll just leave you alone. Sorry, thanks for your time.” As he turned to walk away, Levi scanned him one more time, his sharp eyes quickly noticing the blood that was now dripping from the brunette’s fingers. He moved quickly, grabbing the boy’s shoulder.

 

“Wait! You’re bleeding! How the fuck did that happen?” Levi grabbed Eren’s wrist and gently pulled up his sleeve. His eyes widened at the side. Long red gouges marred the boy’s beautiful tanned skin. They were deep gouges, and certainly intentional. Before he could say anything, Eren had pulled his wrist away just as quickly as it had been grasped.

 

“It’s nothing. . . I’m fine. Like I said, I’m overreacting. Thanks for talking with me.” Eren ran off down the hall. Levi quickly following, he easily caught up to Eren and snached him by the back of the shirt.    
  
“Oi, brat! I think I’ll take you up on that tea. But first let's get that arm of yours bandaged up. Deal?” The brunette turned, looking Levi in the eyes for the first time. Levi found it hard to look away after that, such deep eyes, the colors mingled together in a perfect harmony. They reminded him of the deepest veridian ocean. “Now, what was your name again. It's hard for us to get to know each other as fellow literature students if only one of us knows the other’s name.”

 

Eren gaped at Levi, unsure how to handle this turn of events. “O-okay . . . um. I suppose just lead the way. . . a-and my name is E-Eren. . . Eren Jaeger.” Eren’s natural timid nature had resurfaced. So much for the overwhelming confidence he had moments ago. There were times when his old self would come out, but they were few and far between. Grisha had broken that part of him and thrown it into a deep dark hole. 

 

Levi was confused by how quickly the boy went from an overly excitable dog to the most timid of mice. But he went with it; he had to. He didn’t miss how quickly Eren’s already dark sleeve was growing darker with blood. If he didn’t get that stopped soon, this may not end well. Trying to accommodate the new personality, Levi motioned for Eren to follow him.

 

Eren slowly followed Levi, he eyes downcast. This was embarrassing; he didn’t want anyone to know about his problems, much less this god of a man that he had just met. Little did he know, it was about to get a hell of a lot more embarrassing for him. He had been busy over the weekend and had plenty of marks to show for it. Because of that, he was already anemic, and the blood loss over the last few minutes hadn’t helped him in the slightest. Darkness started to cloud his vision as he staggered and reached a bloody hand out toward the beauty in front of him. “L-Levi . . . H-Hel --” 

 

Levi stopped and quickly turned at the soft voice behind him. His eyes shot open and he quickly reached to grasp the hand stretched out toward him, but it was too late. Eren’s eyes fell shut as he dropped to the floor. “Shit!” 


	3. Battle Scars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going to go ahead and post chapter 3 because this is where stuff gets good and Grace and I just absolutely love this chapter! 
> 
> We fangirled the whole time we wrote it and hope that you enjoy it just as much!
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrmm2djp3s5rz6QGhi6XJlw

Levi lunged toward the now crumpled body on the floor. He quickly scooped him up and took off for the TA lounge where he knew there was a first aid kit. He hadn’t realized how small the boy was until he had him in his arms. Eren’s height and clothes hid his small frame. You’d never know without putting your arms around him. He weighed next to nothing.  _ For fuck’s sake, does this kid even eat? I think he weighs less than I do… _ Levi turned the corner and quickly made his way through the door to the TA lounge. He laid Eren on the sofa and went to retrieve the first aid kit. Once he had the kit in hand, Levi knelt by the boy’s side and gently rolled up his sleeve to once again reveal the large slashes in his arm. Levi grimaced at the sight but continued with his work. He cleaned the wounds and tightly bound Eren’s arm with gauze. He had to get the bleeding to stop, and fast. Eren’s body was getting paler with every passing moment. After he finished with the wrapping, his eyes quickly scanned the boy; Levi sighed as he saw more dark spots slowly growing on his shirt along his other forearm and his abdomen.  _ Christ brat, did you spare any inch of your skin? What on earth could be so damn bad that you would fuck yourself up this much…  _ He gently rolled up the other sleeve and wrapped that arm as well, then he moved on to the boy’s abdomen. He slowly pulled Eren’s shirt up, and once again, couldn’t stop the shadow of a grimace that passed over his face. There were haphazard slices all over his stomach and chest. These were almost as deep as the ones on his arms.  _ The hell was he thinking. It’s amazing he only just now fainted. . . Fuck, he can’t be eating. I can see every single rib he has -- hip bones too, and not in the good way.  _

 

Once he finished bandaging up the boy as best he could, Levi laid his own jacket over Eren and walked off to the small kitchenette in the lounge to make himself a cup of tea. He needed some at this point. After making the tea, he took his cup and sat in the chair across from the sofa with some papers he was grading. He went to work, watching over the frail body that was slowly regaining some color. As he graded the last page, Levi caught some movement over the top edge of the paper. He laid down his work and rested his head on his hand, waiting for the boy to awaken. 

 

Eren felt groggy as he slowly opened his blurry eyes.  _ Hm. . . soft. . . where am I? The last thing I remember was walking with Levi and then I --  _ Eren shot up once he remembered what had happened and immediately regretted the action. He fell back against the sofa he was laying on as dizziness and a massive headache overcame him. He heard a soft chuckle to his right and turned his head to look where the sound was coming from. Eren’s eyes widened once he realized who had made the wonderful sound.  _ Levi… did he help me? _ “W-what happened? How did I get here?”

 

“Nice to see you’re finally awake, shitty brat. I thought you might be dead for a while there. Not that I care. But you fainted in the hallway, and I couldn’t just leave you there. It would be a tripping hazard. So I brought you here until you woke up.” Levi eyed Eren as he took a sip of his drink. After a moment, he picked up some papers and started writing on them.

 

“T-thank you… I’m sorry to cause you trouble…” Eren slid his legs off the side of the couch and sat up, looking down at the jacket that was now in his lap from his first attempt at sitting.  _ A jacket? This isn’t mine… Levi’s.  _ He laid the jacket on the couch and started to shakily stand, wincing at the pain in his abdomen.  _ Man, I really fucked up today… I’ll have to take care of these cuts when I get home… WAIT.  _ Eren’s hand flew to his stomach. At the same time, his eyes caught sight of his arm.  _ Bandages? Oh no… Levi had seen… more than just his arm…  _ His chest suddenly tightened, breath coming in shorter gasps as he gripped the shirt.  _ No, no, no, no, not now! He’s already seen the cuts, not an attack too… he already hates me! I’m ugly and a nuisance. He even said I’m a shitty brat, I’ve caused him trouble… No!  _

 

Levi watched over the paper as Eren started to get up, his eyes following him as he took a shaky step then felt his stomach.  _ Hm. I guess he noticed the bandages. Oh well, he can thank me later.  _ Levi raised an eyebrow as he watched Eren’s eyes widen and his breathing quicken. 

 

“Oi, brat, calm down. It’s just some bandages, no reason to get so worked up”  _ Whoa, this kid is taking this seriously… _ Levi jumped up as Eren fell to his knees, one hand on the floor to support himself, one hand still gripping at his shirt.  _ Shit! He can’t breathe! What’s going on? What is this? A panic attack?  _ Levi rushed in front of Eren, placing his hands on his shoulders and gently pushing him upright.  _ How do you deal with this? Calm? Keep calm? I’m sure me being loud will just make things worse…  _ “Eren, Eren look at me.” Levi watched as those beautiful ocean eyes frantically searched his face. They were unseeing, filled with fear. Levi didn’t like that look. It didn’t fit Eren. Keeping a low, even tone, he continued. “Eren, shhh, its okay, listen, breathe. Just breathe with me. Inhale...” Levi took a big, exaggerated breath so that Eren would be able to see it. “...exhale. Inhale, exhale. Shhhhh, just breathe for me, kid.” Levi kept his grip on Eren’s shoulders firm but not too tight, keeping his eyes locked on Eren’s frantic ones. He continued the inhale exhale mantra until finally the brunette started breathing somewhat normally again. “There. That’s better now, right? Air is a good thing?” Levi chuckled a little as Eren nodded weakly, then stood, pulling the taller boy up with him. Despite the support, Eren’s knees weren't ready to hold up any kind of body weight just yet, and they buckled underneath him. Levi quickly had an arm around his waist and gently guided him back to the sofa. 

 

Eren had never had a panic attack in front of anyone before. It was… nice? Someone to help him breathe… it made the whole situation a little less frightening. 

“S-sorry… “ Eren mumbled, eyes burning holes into the floor as he held his head in his hands.  _ Damn this headache. And that panic attack didn't make it any better.  _ Eren heard Levi walk away and wondered if he was leaving.  _ He has every right to leave. I've caused him nothing but problems since I ran up to him in the hall this morning… He doesn't owe me anything.  _ But then Eren heard the footsteps come back. He opened his eyes and looked up to see a banana outstretched toward him, Levi looking away. 

 

“Here, eat this. It's not much, but it will help.” Levi folded his arms across his chest after Eren took the fruit. He scowled, noticing that Eren just held it, looking at the banana as if it might be poisoned. “Kid it's just a banana, it's not going to hurt you or anything.”  _ Seriously? Why am I trying so hard for some random kid I just met? Why should I care whether he eats or not.  _ Even as the thought crossed his mind, Levi knew it didn't matter. He remembered the cuts, the ribs, the skin and bones that were under that now-bloodstained shirt. “Look, either eat that, or you have to answer my questions.”

 

There was no way Eren could stomach any food right now, so questions it was. “I-I really don't think I can eat anything, I’m sorry. I'm really not feeling very well just yet. Thank you though… So I guess I'll have to answer your questions…” He set the banana down on the coffee table and nervously picked at his sleeve, bracing himself for whatever questions Levi was about to ask. 

 

Levi’s eyes narrowed.  _ This kid. I swear. I don't think he eats. That's not good…  _ “How about some water then? Think you could keep that down?” Eren nodded slightly. With a small sigh of relief, Levi went to retrieve a bottle of water from the fridge. Handing it to Eren, he started in on the questions. “Well, let's start at the beginning shall we? How did you get all those cuts?” Levi knew the answer already. He had seen it before. The question was, why did he care so much now? Why this student? He watched as what little color had returned to the boy’s face vanished. 

 

“I… Um…” 

 

Levi sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “Alright then, how about why? You seem like a bright kid, you should know that self harm won't solve anything.” 

 

Eren cringed. Self harm. He knew that's what he was doing, but he didn't like the way it sounded when Levi said it.  _ He doesn't know. I can't blame him for asking. But it just makes me hate myself a little less. I can feel something. And maybe… maybe if I scar my body up, Grisha won't want me anymore. He doesn't know where I live, but still. Just to be safe. Who would want to hold a mangled body?  _ “It's just a bored habit I guess… Sorry…” 

 

Levi tensed.  _ A bored habit? Is this brat shitting me right now? I can see a liar a mile away. On top of that, he apologizes way too much.  _ “Eren. Look at me.” Levi waited for those beautiful ocean eyes to meet his own before continuing. “Stop apologizing. You've done nothing you need to apologize for. Also, I know that this is far more than a bored habit, as you say, but I'll leave it at that for now. How about the panic attack? What was that about?”

 

Eren tore his eyes away from Levi’s and continued to fiddle with his sleeve. “I'm sorry. I-I know you went to a lot of trouble. I just --” At that moment, one of the other TAs walked in, effectively halting all communication coming from Eren. He stood, still shaky, but at least his legs were doing what he wanted at this point. He had to leave, to get away; he was causing trouble.  _ I need to go. Before he hates me anymore.  _

 

Eren’s eyes met Levi’s for a moment before he let his gaze fall to his feet. “Thanks for the help… I’m sorry for everything. I should get going.” He started toward the door with Levi a few steps behind. Levi stopped at the door, prompting Eren to slow. 

 

“Oi, brat. Will you be able to make it home okay? I’m not going to walk you or anything, so you better not faint again, alright?” His eyes narrowed, taking in the painfully fake smile that Eren gave him. 

 

“I'll manage. Sorry for all the trouble I've caused you… Thank you again… Levi… “ He watched as Eren disappeared into the sea of students, his chest tightening as the brunette said his name.  _ Shit. He only said my name. Why did that get to me? Everyone uses my name, and it means nothing. And that fake ass smile. I'll have to keep an eye on this brat… _ Levi returned to the room to continue his work, but didn't get much done. Instead, his mind filled with a certain brunette student with veridian oceans for eyes. 


	4. Observation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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Finally back at home after managing to force his way through his work, Levi sat down with a cup of tea and thought through what to do about Eren. As a TA, Levi had access to the classroom that others might not. He decided to use this slightly to his advantage. He knew that the French Lit class that Eren was in met on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. So he would be able to check in on the brat four of the seven days of the week.  _ What about the other three days… Wednesday won’t be bad.. But the weekend seems too long…  _ Levi felt sick to his stomach just imagining all the harm Eren could do to himself in those long 48 hours. It didn’t help that every time he thought of the possibilities, all he could see were the gashes that lined the boy’s arms and abdomen. 

 

Eren had managed to make it home somehow. He felt better after resting for a few hours.  _ Damn, this day was tiring. And embarrassing. God he probably hates me…  _ With a sigh, Eren dragged himself out of bed and into the bathroom. He knew he should probably eat, but he just didn’t feel up to it. If past history had anything to say about food, it was that Eren could rarely keep it down. It was as if his body itself wished for his existence to cease. He turned on the water and started to fill the tub. A shower was out of the question as he still didn’t trust his weak limbs, nor did he care to feel that direct stream of water across his open wounds. He slowly removed his bloody shirt, thankful for the bandages that Levi had placed. It would have sucked to peel the fabric away from his scabs. Looking in the mirror, he barely recognized himself anymore. Eren rested his hands on the sink and leaned into his reflection. The day had taken a toll on him. Dark circles lingered imposingly under his tired eyes, his skin still pale from the loss of blood. But despite his noticeably shitty complexion, what stood out the most were the stark white bandages wrapped around each forearm and the bandages taped across his abdomen.

 

He slowly removed the tape securing the bandages to his stomach and carefully peeled it away, stark white giving way to angry red lines. It was almost beautiful to him, the emotion they held, like his dark thoughts had been given form. He wasn’t imagining the depths of his despair. It was tangible, he could touch it. He did the same with each bandage around his arms, removed the rest of his clothing, then sunk into the hot water. His eyes squeezed shut as each slice on his skin sung with pain as the hot water flooded over him. But it felt good. It was distracting from the day's events. This was normal. This he could handle. Leaning his head back against the wall, Eren closed his eyes and tried to just exist. To not think. As his mind cleared, exhaustion overtook him, and he was quickly gone. For once, he slept peacefully. Not a nightmare, just dreams of steel grey and black, a warmth lingering on his shoulders, and… happiness… was this really what happiness felt like?

 

Eren awoke hours later in cold water but feeling rested. He quickly got out of the tub and wrapped himself in a towel, willing his frigid body to warm. He made his way to his room, and pulled on the warmest clothes he could find before curling up in his bed to try to retain what little body heat he had left. A small sneeze left him, and he curled up tighter.  _ Well fuck. Way to go Jaeger, hope you haven’t gone and gotten yourself sick now… That would be a mess. Oh, let’s embarrass ourselves in front of Levi, then go and get sick so you can’t go to school. He’s going to think I’m ignoring him. Not that he’ll care too much. He probably hates me anyway. He called me a brat. He even said that he didn’t care.   _ Eren let his thoughts run away from him as he laid there, willing the hours to move faster so that he could go back to school, back to Levi, and back to a distraction. As the time passed, Eren just got colder, and the sneezes just increased, now paired with the sniffles. This was going to be a long night. 

 

Levi sat in the back of the classroom, waiting for the brunette to walk through the door. He glanced down at his watch.  _ Dammit brat, where are you. Class starts in two minutes…  _ The minutes ticked by, and the professor started class. Levi sat against the wall, arms crossed, tapping his foot impatiently.  _ Where the fuck is he? _ No sooner had the thought crossed his mind than a very pale, very wobbly Eren stumbled through the door and made his way to his seat.  _ Fucking hell…. He looks like death warmed over… but at least he’s alive. I’ll figure out what else is going on later. _ Levi kept his eyes glued to the brunette as class went on. Not even 10 minutes had passed before Eren bolted out of his seat, making his way to the door with a hand raised to his mouth.  _ Oh boy. He’s sick. Anemia can cause that as well as malnutrition, which is obviously a factor here.  _ Levi waited for the boy to return, but he never did. The more time passed, the tighter the knot of worry in his gut became. Finally class was over, and Eren had yet to return. Levi waited for the crowd to thin, then made a beeline for the boy’s abandoned desk. He retrieved Eren’s messenger bag and made his way out the door and to the closest bathroom. He had a feeling he knew exactly where the brat was. 

 

Eren felt disgusting as he hugged the side of the toilet. He laid his arm across the seat and rested his head there. He desperately wished the nausea would subside so he could at least try to return to class. He knew he looked pathetic sitting on the bathroom floor, but it was all he could do to stay upright at that point.  _ Thank god Levi isn’t here to see me like this. I swear, one thing after the other. I never catch a break. Why does the world hate me? Even my own body hates me… I just need to go away… be done with it all.  _ He remembered how close he had come to being done with all the bullshit over the weekend. He wished he had just finished it. But then he never would have met Levi, and he wouldn’t have any reason to try and not die. And now… now he wasn’t sure about anything. He wanted to know more about that beautiful man, and it frustrated him. He heard the bathroom door swing open and wished a hole would appear in the floor to eat him. He prayed that no one would notice the small figure crumpled on the floor of the stall. His breath caught in his throat as he tried to stay quiet, but it was pointless. A pair of shoes stopped outside the door, and a soft knock echoed in the cold room. “Eren, I know you’re in there… Let me in.” He was done at that point; no longer could he hold it in. The tears started falling as he weakly reached up and slid the lock. His hand fell down to his lap limply as if it took all the strength he had left to execute that simple action.

 

Levi watched as the stall door slowly creaked open and took in the sight before him. His heart broke as his eyes fell to the crumpled, crying mess on the floor. He could tell that Eren had been throwing up, but thankfully there was none on him. That made this a little easier. Levi squatted down to Eren’s level. “Hey brat, not feeling so hot, huh?” He reached forward and gently pushed the soft brown hair out of the boy’s face, letting his hand linger on Eren’s head to try and gauge if he was running a fever or not.  _ Fuck! He’s burning up!  _ Levi was getting more worried by the second, a faint pain blossoming in his chest.  _ Doesn’t eat, self harms, anemic from blood loss, has probably gone and gotten some sort of infection from all those open wounds… Shit! I’ve got to get him out of this germ infested shit room! I guarantee that he didn’t redress his cuts.  _ The pain in his chest only got worse when he realized how dull those beautiful viridian orbs were. Eren was there, but just barely. 

 

“L-Levi.. What are you doing here?” The words came out no more than a whisper. That was all Eren could muster -- what little strength he had this morning was quickly dissipating. He sighed softly and let the warmth from Levi’s soft touch seep into him.  _ So cold… why am I so cold… _ Suddenly warmth spread through his body, and he felt himself being lifted from the ground. His eyes fluttered open, and all he saw was Levi with a furrowed brow.  _ Why does he look so upset…. What did I do… I messed up again… I caused him trouble… He’s going to hate me…  _ That was the last thought that crossed Eren’s mind before everything faded to black. 

 

Levi carefully carried Eren out of the bathroom, moving as quickly as possible as he made his way to his car. Thankful that he had had the sense to get his keys into his hand before picking the boy up, he unlocked his Audi and managed to get the passenger side door open. He carefully set Eren in the seat and buckled his seatbelt. Quickly making his way around to the driver’s side door, he hopped in and grabbed Eren’s bag. Digging out his wallet, he searched for anything that might have an address on it.  _ Bingo! Thank god the brat has a driver’s license. Huh. Not too far from my place, either. Good, that will make things easier.  _ Levi pulled out of the parking lot and made his way to the address on the license, the soft classical music he had been attempting to calm himself with this morning still playing through the stereo. 

 

Dark. That’s all Eren could see. He was in the closet again. Maybe it would be safe this time. He could hear soft music flowing through the house; somehow it was comforting. But then came the footsteps. He dreaded those. He knew all too well what came after those heavy thuds down the hall. The door would slam, the closet would be ripped open, and then it would hurt. Everything would hurt. His head fell to his knees as he wrapped his arms around himself.  _ No, no, no, no… no more… please no more… _ The bedroom door slammed.  _ Please god no… go away…  _ Light suddenly flooded the closet as the door was ripped open again. Sharp pain as he was dragged out, the crack against the bedpost, the kick to the ribs. He knew this dream well.  _ No more… no more…  _ The searing pain like knives as he was violated again and again. Then the screaming, no more air, he couldn’t breathe. He was drowning. Red filled his vision.  _ Blood… this is mine… no! I can’t die yet! Levi… Save me…  _

 

Levi pulled into a spot outside Eren’s apartment complex. As he put the Q7 in park, he jumped out and moved to the passenger side. He needed to get the boy into bed. Pulling the door open, he froze.  _ Oh no. He’s hyperventilating again. Shit brat, what the hell are you dreaming about? _ Levi gently shook Eren’s shoulders. “Eren! Hey, wake up! You’ve gotta breathe, kid!” He had done a little research last night after the last panic attack so he would know what to do if this happened again. He quickly unbuckled Eren and pulled him against his chest, wrapping his arms securely around the brunette. He rubbed his back, and in a low, even tone, tried to calm Eren. “Come on now kid, shhhhh, breathe. I know you’re in there somewhere. Inhale, exhale, just like you did yesterday. Shhhh, you’re safe. I don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours, but you’re safe, I’ve got you. Inhale, exhale.”

 

Warm. It was warm. Death was supposed to be cold. The music had stopped. Eren missed it. But the blood had vanished, the pain was dissipating, and he felt the bricks come off his chest one by one. He could breathe again.  _ Who is that… I hear someone… it’s not Dad… Dad is rough… this voice… it’s soft, and warm, and … safe. _ Light started to fill the room. Eren blinked as his eyes adjusted. He could finally see the source of the voice. Leaning against a doorframe, arms crossed, watching him with a hint of a smirk on his face, was Levi. “Hey kid, you ready to wake up yet?” Levi held a hand out to Eren. “Come on Eren, come back to me.” Eren reached out to take Levi’s hand, warmth flooding through him.  _ Finally… Safe… I’m safe…  _

 

Levi relaxed somewhat. Eren’s breathing had finally returned to normal. He continued to rub the boy’s back, willing him to wake. He released his hold only when he felt Eren begin to shift in his arms. Pulling back, he scanned the boy’s face, keeping his hands on his thin arms. He sighed in relief as those beautiful eyes fluttered open. “L-Levi? What happened? W-where are we?” Levi chuckled as Eren’s brow furrowed in confusion.

 

“We are currently sitting outside your apartment. I couldn’t just leave you on the bathroom floor you know. It would have been awkward for anyone who needed to use the bathroom with a brat passed out on the floor. So naturally, I had to bring you home.” He reached around Eren to grab his bag and set it gently in his lap. “Think you can manage to get in on your own? I can’t keep holding your hand you know, you are an adult here.”  _ I want to keep taking care of him though. What the hell, why? I don’t understand. What is it about this kid? I can’t leave him alone. What if something else happens?  _

 

Eren nodded as he slid to his feet, bracing himself against the seat. “Yeah, I’ll manage. Thank you for driving me… I’ll have to go back to campus at some point to get my car…” It wouldn’t be that hard to go back. He normally walked to school anyway. Eren stood with his back against the green SUV. He didn’t trust his legs just yet, and he really didn’t want to look weak again in front of Levi. He closed his eyes, willing strength to fill his limbs. He just needed to make it to his apartment. That was all. Not that far.  _ I can’t be weak in front of him. I’m a man, too. Dammit Jaeger, pull yourself together now.  _

 

Levi eyed the boy suspiciously; he knew he was lying through his teeth.  _  This brat can’t even walk on his own right now, let alone make it all the way into his apartment.  _ Levi took the messenger bag from Eren and slung it over his shoulder. “Where are your keys? And can you walk with some support, or do I need to carry you again? Because you’re obviously not getting anywhere on your own right now.” Levi felt his heart stop for a moment when Eren’s eyes shot open and met his own, a deep flush filling his face.  _ Damn he’s cute… WAIT. Not Cute. Don’t care. I don’t care about this kid. Stop, Levi. Bad.  _ By now, he knew he was lying to himself, but he couldn’t admit it just yet. He needed time to process it all. Two days was too short to make any kind of an emotional decision.  _ It's only been two days, it’s just a phase. He won’t matter in a few days. Just a distraction from the norm is all.  _

 

“They’re in my bag…” Eren looked pointedly toward the bag hanging from Levi’s shoulder. He reached out and pulled it closer to himself, digging around in it for a moment before pulling out his key ring. He looked back to Levi and held up the key. “Here you go. I can get it though, really I’m fine.” He took one step forward, but his knees once again betrayed him. He was falling, and there was nothing he could do to stop himself. Levi stepped forward to meet him and caught him before he could go far. 

 

“Riiiight. You’re just peachy. I’ll just be on my way then, and you can figure out how to crawl into your house, kay?” Levi looped an arm around Eren’s waist and, supporting most of his weight, pulled the boy out of the way of the door. He shut the car door and locked it before turning back toward the building. “Which one is yours, brat? We don’t have all day you know.” He felt Eren tense in his arm at his words and instantly regretted them.  _ Well fuck. Way to go, Levi, just put the brat on mental lockdown, why don’t you? Lets trigger another panic attack, why don’t we? Cuz that would be fucking brilliant, right?  _ Levi sighed and started walking, “I didn’t mean it to be taken literally, you know. That’s just how I talk. Now, which one is yours?”

 

“104, it's the last door on the right once you're in the building. Sorry about all this…. I really am… I know you've got better things to do…” Eren hung his head, trying to hide his face from the smaller man. Levi may have said that he didn't mean what he said, but the words still stung. Eren knew he was causing problems and that Levi had his own things to do.  _ I just keep fucking this up. He's gotta hate me by now. I mean who in their right mind wouldn't? Still… He's so warm… I don't want him to leave…  _ The pair finally made it to Eren’s door. Levi took the keys from him and unlocked it. 

 

Opening the door, Levi guided Eren in and set him on the couch. He set Eren’s bag down on the small dining table and walked into the kitchen. “Oi, Brat, where do you keep your glasses? You really need some water.” Not waiting for an answer, Levi started opening the eye level cabinets. Succeeding on the second set of doors, he grabbed a glass and started filling it from the sink. “Never mind, found them on my own.” Walking back over to the brunette, he held the glass out toward him. “Drink. All of it.” With a shaking hand, Eren reached out and took the glass. Timidly bringing it to his lips, he took a sip. 

 

“W-would you p-please bring me a b-blanket? T-there are s-some at the end of my b-bed.”  _ So cold.  _ As soon as Levi had left his side, the unforgiving cold had returned to Eren’s body with a vengeance. He continued to sip on the water Levi had given him, knowing he shouldn't turn it down. Levi had gone to the trouble to get it for him, so he needed to drink it. Levi returned shortly with a few blankets. He carefully took the glass from Eren's hands and set it on the table, then laid the blankets over the boy's shivering frame. Once he was content with the small burrito he had created on the sofa, he picked the glass back up and held it to Eren’s lips. “Finish the rest of it. Come on and be a good brat.” Eren carefully drank the rest of the cool liquid to appease the beautiful man in front of him. Honestly, he would do anything Levi asked of him at this point. 

 

Levi set the glass down on the coffee table and sat gently on it himself. Crossing his arms, he looked over at Eren. “So. Care to share why you're so sick? Most people don't get this bad overnight. Given, most people also tend to keep the majority of their blood inside of their body.” 

 

Eren looked down at the blankets. He wished he could just disappear into the couch. He didn't want to answer these questions, but he felt he owed Levi some answers after all he had done for him. “I fell asleep in the bath last night….by the time I woke up, the water was already ice…” He heard Levi sigh and looked up to see him holding the bridge of his nose.  _ Oh no… I made him mad… Now he knows just how stupid I am… Maybe he'll leave… That would probably be best anyway. Then he can get on with his life…  _ Eren jumped when he heard Levi speak again. 

 

“When was the last time you ate?” Levi knew the questions were making the little burrito uncomfortable, but they were questions that needed to be answered. He heard some sort of intelligible sounds coming from Eren but couldn't make out what they were. He had a feeling that was on purpose. “Oi. Speak up brat. I don't speak mumble”

 

“F-friday… I think,” his voice barely above a whisper. Levi’s eyes widened. He knew that wasn't going to be an answer he would want to hear.  _ Christ, four fucking days. He hasn't eaten anything in four fucking days. How is he still functioning?  _

 

“What about before Friday? When was the last time you ate before that?” The knot in Levi’s gut that was quickly becoming familiar tightened when he saw Eren's eyes fall. The brunette once again answered in a mouselike quiet. 

 

“I don't know… I-I’m sorry Levi...I don't remember.” Eren hadn't ever kept much in the apartment as far as food went. Most of his meager check went to bills and tuition. There was hardly ever anything left over for food. Not like it mattered, he could rarely ever keep anything down apart from coffee or water anyway. 

 

Levi got up and returned to the kitchen, taking the empty glass with him. He started searching the cabinets for food but found nothing.  _ Damn it. No wonder this kid is so weak. There's hardly any nutrition in him at all. There's not even any food in this damn place.  _ Levi pulled out his phone and searched for the best foods to give to someone who was suffering from malnutrition.  _ Okay… bananas, brown rice, yogurt, and electrolytes… So gatorade I guess.  _ Returning his phone to his pocket Levi decided to make a quick trip to the store.  _ I'll be damned if this Brat is going to starve to death. I don't want that weighing on my conscience. It's not that I care. I just don't want to live with the fact that I knew he wasn't eating and didn't do anything about it.  _ Returning to the living room, he noticed Eren’s eyes following him. “See something you like Brat?” He had to suppress the chuckle that threatened to escape as he watched the boy’s eyes grow twice their size before a very red face turned away and hid in the arm of the couch. “I'm going out for a bit. Try not to get into too much trouble before I get back, alright? I don't want to have any more surprises today.” Levi stopped in the doorway and looked back to check on the burrito one more time.  _ He looks safe enough… I won't be gone long, so it'll be fine… Right?  _ Levi shook his head as he shut the door behind him. He just couldn't shake the feeling that the excitement for the day was far from over. 


	5. Food is Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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15 minutes had passed before Eren decided he needed to do something. He struggled to untangle himself from the blankets, eventually managing to push them off.  _ I need a shower, I feel so gross… Levi said to not get in trouble, but I've got to do something on my own. And it's not getting into trouble by taking a shower. Right?  _ Eren slowly pulled himself off the couch and made his way through the living room. He paused for a moment at the edge of the kitchen, allowing his shaky legs a moment’s respite. Once he felt confident enough to walk again, he continued his trek to the bathroom. He had barely made it a couple of steps before his nausea came back full force. His hands flew to his mouth and stomach. Squeezing his eyes shut tight, he tried to will the sickness away, but it was having none of that. He managed to stumble his way into the hall before his knees once again gave out on him. He fell to the floor and didn't bother to attempt getting back up. Rolling over onto his side, he stared at the wall, hot tears threatening to overflow.  _ Why am I so useless! It was one thing to deal with all this when I was alone, but it's another to have someone witnessing all of my pathetic glory… _ He knew he wasn't getting back up on his own, so he decided to just wait for Levi. He said he was coming back after all. He heard the lock click and closed his eyes in relief.  _ I'm not alone. Thank god. I don't have to stay here and whither away.  _

 

As Levi opened the door, his eyes immediately went to the last place he had left Eren. When he saw the pile of blankets sans brat, he groaned and quickly made his way into the apartment. Levi’s eyes flew around the room, trying to locate the boy. He set the food on the kitchen counter as he went by and continued deeper into the space. Reaching the hall, he breathed a sigh of relief. He had found him. Now to figure out what on earth happened in the short 25 minutes he had been gone. Levi sat on the floor by Eren’s head and stroked his hair gently. “I thought I told you not to get into trouble, brat?” His words came out much softer than he intended. He just couldn't bring himself to be as rough with Eren as he was with everyone else. Everyone else was a nuisance, but somehow this kid wasn't. 

 

Eren sighed at the touch. “I tried not to… Really I did.  I just wanted a shower…  I feel disgusting…I also don't feel well again...you may not want to be so close… I don't want to throw up on you…” 

 

Levi continued to absentmindedly stroke Eren's hair. “You need to eat something kid. I promise you'll feel better with some food in your stomach.” 

 

Eren shook his head. “I can't, I'll just throw it back up. I know I will… “ Levi looked down at him in frustration. 

 

“You won't know until you try, brat. Come on, I got some stuff that's easy to eat and is easy on the stomach.”  _ The damn brat doesn't realize he's so sick  _ because  _ he doesn't eat. I need to get something in him.  _ Eren pushed himself up into a sitting position even though he had no real desire to move. “Come on Eren. Up and at em. Otherwise I'll just drag you in there by your hair.” Eren’s eyes widened, and he quickly backed away until he was pinned against the wall, fear filling his eyes. Levi stared in shock, his mind taking a moment to process what had just happened.  _ This poor kid is fucked up… What the hell has he been through…  _ “Hey now, don't take me so literally, kid. I would never do that to you.” Levi stood slowly, walked over to Eren's cowering form, and held out a hand. “Come on brat, I won't hurt you. I'd like to think you'd have                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             realized that by now with all the help I've given you.” Levi tried to ignore the throbbing in his chest that the fear in Eren's eyes brought on. It was becoming increasingly difficult to manage. 

 

Eren placed his hand in Levi’s and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. This earned him a pat on the head from Levi. “Good job. Now let's go get some food, I know you'll feel better after that.” Levi guided Eren to the dining table and sat him down. He had no desire to end up on the floor again, so he wasn’t taking any chances by letting Eren function on his own for now. Levi pulled a banana from the bag on the counter, partially peeled it, then handed it to Eren. “Eat. Now.” 

 

Eren didn't want to eat. He knew he would just throw it up. But he could tell that Levi wasn't going to back down, so he raised the banana to his lips and nibbled a small bit off of the tip.  _ Good… This tastes so good… _ Eren continued with tiny bites, worried that with each bite, the vomiting would come. What surprised him was that it never did. He managed to eat the whole piece of fruit without any complications. 

 

Levi breathed a silent sigh of relief as he watched Eren finish the fruit. It was small, but it was something. “What’s your favorite fruit kid?” Levi had grabbed one of just about every kind of fruit flavored yogurt. None of the fancy dessert bullshit though. He prayed that he had one that was something Eren would like. He needed to get some more food into him. Yogurt would help, digestion-wise, especially since his digestive system was probably 20 kinds of fucked up after not eating for so long. 

 

Eren pondered on the question, trying to decide what he liked.  _ I’m not really sure… I don’t really pay attention to what I eat whenever I do actually eat anything… OH! Strawberries! I like strawberries… I think. I used to like them at least.  _ “Strawberries?” The answer came out more as a question than a statement. Eren looked up from his blanket to meet Levi’s steel grey gaze. 

 

“Well don’t ask me, I don’t know what you like. That’s why I asked you in the first place, brat. We’ll go with it, though.” Levi wandered off to the kitchen again. He started rummaging through drawers until he found a spoon, grabbed the strawberry yogurt,  _  thank god that’s one of the options, _ and returned to the table. He peeled the foil seal off, dropped the spoon into the cup, and handed it over to Eren. “Try this, then. It’s good for you.” He stared hard at the brunette until Eren took the small cup from his grasp. 

 

Eren sniffed at the contents, wondering what on earth Levi had just given him.  _ This smells good… sweet but a little tart at the same time… it looks like melted ice cream or something....  _ Eren pulled the spoon out and tasted a tiny bit from the end of it.  _ Mmm… this is good. I do like strawberries… good. I don’t want Levi to be mad if I didn’t. He went out and got this for me. He didn’t need to do that… why did he do that?  _ Eren took another small bite of the creamy mystery food and looked up at Levi. “W-why are you doing all this for me? I’m sure you have classes to attend… My professors don’t even expect me to be there anymore, but I’m sure you’re a model student…”

 

Levi knew he had classes to attend, but he had perfect grades in them all, and the professors knew that and left him well enough alone. It was concerning how blasé Eren was about class though.  _ Why am I doing this for this kid? I don’t know him from Adam, and I owe him nothing. He’s more like a wounded puppy at this point.  _ Levi wracked his brain for a half assed excuse to brush off the question at hand. The brunette didn’t need to know that his interest level was slowly growing, especially since he didn’t know why himself. “Mostly because I don’t want to have to report to the school that I found a student dead in a bathroom or something.Too much effort. It’s easier to make you eat something.”

 

Eren was happy that he was spending time with Levi. After all, that was what he had wanted to begin with. But this wasn’t how he had intended for it to happen. He finished off the strange food and set the empty cup on the table. _He doesn’t really want to be here… he’s just trying to keep from having more problems down the road. I need to let him leave… I can’t trouble him anymore…_ “Oh… Well thank you for the food… I’m fine now though, I feel a lot be --” Halting mid-sentence, Eren’s hand flew to his mouth as his stomach lurched. _No, no, no, not again. I can’t throw up. He won’t leave if I get sick…_

 

Levi’s eyes narrowed at Eren’s sudden movement. He placed his hand on the top of the brunette’s head and forced him to look up at him. “Listen to me brat, you’re not going to throw up, I promise. Your stomach just isn’t used to food. It’ll stay down. Don’t worry. Just relax a bit and let it settle. You’ll feel better soon.” Levi ruffled Eren’s hair before drawing his hand back. Checking his watch and seeing it was just after 2 pm, he realized he had been absent from campus for most of the day.  _ Well fuck. The professors won’t be too happy about this. I need to get back to at least wrap up the day.  _ “I’ve got better things to do, and now that I’ve ensured that you’ve eaten something, I’m going back to my normal daily life. Be sure you make it to class tomorrow. And don’t be late to Lit on Thursday morning. That professor does start marking off for tardiness. Not that I care, but you will when you get your grades later.”  The increasingly familiar pain in his chest struck again as he caught the sadness cross Eren’s expression at his words.  _ Damn kid. What are you doing to me?  _

 

Levi made his way back to the door. Hesitating, he stood in the doorway and looked back at the boy he had left at the table before turning back to the outside. “Hey brat…Don’t do anything stupid.” Levi shut the door, not allowing himself a chance to hear any kind of response Eren may have given. He quickly made his way back to the Q7, hopped up into the driver’s seat, and took off back toward campus, forcing the green-eyed brat out of his mind. 

 

With Levi out of the apartment, Eren attempted to resume life as normal.  _ Somehow this feels more empty… something is definitely missing now. Even if he didn’t want to be here, he made this dull apartment a little more bearable.  _ Eren sighed and got up out of the chair. He did feel better after eating; his stomach was starting to settle as well. Eren made a mental note that bananas and creamy strawberry flavored stuff were good. He made his way to the bathroom to take a much needed shower. Once he finally felt clean, the worn out brunette headed to his room, pulled out the comfiest pajamas he had, and crawled into bed. He knew it was still early, but he didn’t care at this point. There was nothing else he wanted to do, and his homework could wait another day. Eren made sure his alarms were set to ensure that he would be up for class at 10, even if he didn’t plan on sleeping anyway. Pulling up his radio app, Eren put on a classical playlist. Somehow classical was relaxing now. He remembered it being comforting in his nightmare. Maybe it would keep the dark shadows out of his mind and allow him some peace for once. 

 

_ Levi was in my dream too… he helped though… he drove out the dark… I wonder if that’s how it works in real life too.  _ Eren continued to stare at the ceiling as he allowed his thoughts to wander. He turned his focus to the soft melody that started to come from his phone. The piano notes were smooth and fluid; they rang clear, yet ran together creating a different sound altogether. The tones were measured, consistent. There were no surprises. It was like water flooding all the dark spaces and driving them out. He rolled over to see the name of the piece -- he would have to remember this one.  _ Hm, Moonlight Sonata… I like this…  _ He took a screenshot of the piece and laid his phone back down, allowing the music to continue. The piece that followed was a light airy thing. The violin rang smoothly through the tones of it. Eren chuckled softly.  _ This one reminds me of breathing almost. Funny, that thing I struggle with most of the time.  _ The rise and fall of the music was rhythmic and once again consistent.  _ Maybe that's why this is so comforting, the consistency of it all. It’s something that I don’t have. Well, maybe I do. I’m consistently a piece of shit, I consistently cause problems, I consistently lose sleep. I guess I am consistent. Not good consistent though.  _ Glancing over at his phone, he caught the title of the piece, ironically it was titled Air.  _ Well, I guess I’m decent at music now, apparently.  _ The playlist carried on for hours as Eren laid in bed losing himself in the music. Before he knew it, the sun had started to peek through the windows of the small apartment. Another sleepless night had passed him by.  _ Maybe I should get some sleep aid stuff. _

 

Suddenly, Eren heard a knock at the door. Pulling himself out of his warm bed, he tottered off to the door to see who could be needing him this early.  _ Armin would already be at the shop. For that matter, I’m not even sure if I’ve ever given Armin my address…  _ Mind muddled from lack of sleep and now confusion at the sudden visitor, he wearily opened his front door, grimacing as he shielded his eyes from the blinding light that flooded in. Eren’s heart leapt when he realized that Levi was standing outside his door, but confusion quickly returned. “L-Levi? What are you doing here?” 

 

“Well, I happen to pass by here on my way to campus and I had an extra blueberry muffin and I remember you don’t have shit to eat really and I figured a fresh muffin might be better than yogurt or something. I was just going to throw it out anyway, so why not give it to the needy or some shit like that.” Levi pressed the bag into Eren’s hands and walked past him into the apartment.  _ Right, that’s completely the only reason. I didn’t go out of my way to stop by here, it’s just like… the alternate route. I could just as easily drive this way as I could the normal way. And I totally didn’t buy an extra one for him. I was hungry this morning, my eyes were just bigger than my stomach today.  _ “Well brat, since I’m here, how about I drive you to campus? It would be much faster than walking. Besides, if I let you walk to class, you’ll probably just collapse again, and some other poor shit will be bothered to help. At least I’m already here.”

 

“I-I appreciate the offer, but I’m sure I’ll be fine… I don’t have class till 10 anyway, and it's like 7. What would I do for the next 3 hours?” 

 

Levi leaned against the back of the couch, crossing his arms. “Well, how about this. I’m not offering, I’m telling, brat. Now eat breakfast, get dressed, and come on. You have missed classes, I’m sure. You can spend those three hours going to your professors and figuring out what you missed. You’ll thank me when your grades get back to you.” 

 

Eren quickly realized that it was no use arguing with the raven haired man. He opened the bag, pulled out the muffin, and picked off a little piece to try.  _ Hm. Sweet, I guess this is sugar on top?  _ Eren nibbled at the muffin until about half was gone before he put it back in the bag. “Thank you… I really think I’m full now though…” 

 

Levi’s eyes narrowed as he watched him stash the bag in the kitchen and head off toward his room.  _ I really don’t think that was enough food for him… I wish he’d have eaten the whole thing…  _ When Eren returned, he was wearing a black long sleeved shirt, a pair of khaki skinny jeans, and a pair of green converse with his messenger bag hung across his body. “Ready to go, brat?” Eren nodded, and the pair headed out the door before Eren locked it behind them. 

 

Eren climbed into the passenger seat of Levi’s Q7, and they headed toward campus. He started to question whether or not it was a good idea to have eaten; his stomach had begun doing flips.  _ Ugh… Be good, body. No puking, especially not in Levi’s car… I’m sorry that I ate something. I knew I shouldn’t have… _ By the time the pair made it to campus, Eren was ready to curl up and die. It felt like someone was stabbing him in the gut. If this was what happened from eating muffins, he never wanted another one. 

 

Levi glanced over at Eren as he pulled into a spot, turning off the car. The boy’s face was paler than it had been when they left the apartment. “Oi, brat, don’t go getting sick in my car if you can help it.” He felt a little bad for coming across so harshly, but he hated things to be dirty, and his car was no exception. “Come on, let’s get inside. I’ve got research to work on, and you’ve got professors to talk to. I can’t hold your hand all day”  _ Even though I might want to… What? Wait. No. No I don’t, why the fuck would I? Geeze, Levi, pull your head out of your ass already.  _

 

Eren got out of the car and waited for Levi to come around. The two walked toward the cluster of buildings together since they were going to the same place. “Thank you for the ride… I’ll be fine for the rest of the day though. I need to drive my own car home today after class anyway.” 

 

Levi didn’t like the thought of Eren driving with how unsteady he had been the past two days. He could only imagine what he would be like behind a steering wheel. Thank goodness his apartment wasn’t far away. “So brat, what classes do you have today anyway?” he couldn’t help but inquire; somehow he felt it would ease his mind to know where the brunette would be throughout the day. 

 

“Not classes, just class. I’ve got humanities from 10-10:50. Then I have to go check in at the newspaper for work right after that. I’m one of their photographers, so I have to bring my work in periodically and see if there are any new assignments for me.” Eren’s stomach lurched and he stopped abruptly. As per habit, he covered his mouth with his shaking hand.  _ Shit. That’s not staying down. There is no way. Trash can, where’s a trash can… _ Eren’s eyes frantically searched for somewhere to purge the sugary contents of his stomach that would create the least possible embarrassing situation. He registered Levi calling his name somewhere, maybe asking if he was okay? He couldn’t really hear him anymore. His eyes fell on a can just a few feet away, and he shot for it, barely making it over the opening before losing what little food he had ingested that morning. He felt a warm hand alight gently on his back, rubbing small comforting circles.  _ Levi… _

 

Levi was already on alert after noticing Eren’s paleness in the car earlier. Now this just made it worse. His Eren Alert gauge was steadily increasing for the day. He continued to rub the boy’s back until the heaving stopped.  _ I should have known better than to get something sweet like that for him… Fucking stupid. Way to go, Levi. Note to self, bland foods for a while. Next time I’ll get it right. Next time? Do I even want a next time?  _ Levi sighed internally. He felt he knew the answer to that but just didn’t want to admit it. Once Eren had backed away from the vomit bucket, Levi guided him toward the nearest bench, sat him down, and pulled an unopened water bottle from his own bag. “Here, drink this. Water fixes just about everything. And what it doesn’t fix, tea does. Remember that and you’ll be okay.” He unscrewed the cap and handed the bottle over to Eren. 

 

Eren gratefully took the water and took several sips of it. He was thirsty anyway, but he didn’t want to make himself sick all over again. Cold water always hit his stomach like a brick. “Sorry…” he mumbled. What a way to start the day. Eren was already tired of this and wanted to be back in his bed. 

 

“I thought I told you yesterday, I don’t speak mumble, and quit apologizing. This wasn’t your fault anyway.”  Levi masked his concern with sarcasm as he waited for Eren to drink more water. “Come on brat, drink some more. You don’t need to get dehydrated along with the rest of it. That would be a pain.” He checked his watch.  _ 7:45… I need to get started on this damn research, I’m sure the others are wondering where I am by now since I’m always early… _

 

Eren drank a bit more of the water before speaking up. “I’m fine now, really. Just a little nauseous is all. Nothing I’m not used to. I’m going to go find my professors. You said you have research to work on. I don’t want to hold you up. Go ahead and get to work.” He shot a large smile at Levi, but it didn’t go any farther than his lips. 

 

Levi wondered what it would take to put a genuine smile on the boy’s face. What would those eyes look like actually happy? There was so much despair in them. Levi struggled to tear himself away from Eren, but eventually he stepped back and turned toward the building the English department was housed in. “Well, if you say so. I’ll be pretty busy for the rest of the day, so stay out of trouble, brat.” He quickly walked off. If he didn’t get away from Eren now, he wouldn’t leave his side for the remainder of the day, and that wasn’t an option. He needed to distance himself from those sad eyes before they captured him, and he could no longer get away.  _ I just have to stay away from him. If I don’t see him, then I’ll forget about him. It’s just an infatuation brought on by contact. No contact, no caring, no attachment. Problem solved.  _ However, the longer the day dragged on, the more worried Levi became.  _ I wonder if Eren is feeling alright… maybe I should try to check in on him… _ He pulled his phone out to shoot the boy a text but quickly came to the realization that he didn’t have his number.  _ Well, fuck. I’ll be fixing that later. I could always go to his class… no I can’t, never mind, that was over five minutes ago. He should be heading to the newspaper offices now… unless he got sick again… then he’s probably curled up in a nasty ass, germ infested shit stall again… but which one? Shit. What if the shitty brat managed to pass out again?  _ Levi’s Eren Alert gauge increased rapidly as his thoughts ran rampant. 

 

Eren was miserable as he made his way to the newspaper office. He had managed to make it through the morning without losing any more of his stomach contents, which was good, but his stomach refused to settle. He had some photos of recent student events to submit to the newspaper, but there hadn’t been much going on recently to be honest.  _ I wonder if Levi would let me photograph him… he’s so beautiful, I’m sure the pictures would turn out amazing if he’d let me.  _ Eren continued to think of the possible scenarios he could photograph Levi in as he walked into the office. He submitted his photos and gathered the upcoming assignments for the next few weeks. Once he was done at the newspaper, he made his way back to the parking lot, found his car where he had left it yesterday, and headed home. After dealing with his professors and getting sick all in one day, he was ready to lay down for a while. 

 

Levi was finally able to tear himself away from his research and campus at 3:45. He had ended up staying later than normal since he had come in late that morning.  _ I wonder if Eren made it home alright… Maybe I should go check on him… I better grab some food to take as well. He can’t survive on bananas and yogurt after all.  _ He dropped by the store and picked up some things for a simple balanced meal, chicken and some squash. He knew there was still rice at Eren’s apartment that he had bought yesterday afternoon. 

 

Eren had created himself a nest of blankets on the couch and was curled up working on the homework from the two classes he had missed Monday and Tuesday when there was a knock at the door.  _ Twice in one day? What the hell… _ He reluctantly untangled himself from his warm bundle of comfort and went to open the door. There stood Levi once again, only this time he had some grocery bags with him. “What are you doing? I’m sure you’ve got better things to do than visit me…”

 

Levi rolled his eyes and let himself into the apartment, heading for the kitchen. “Well, if you don’t want my food then suit yourself, but I’m already here, so I’m making myself dinner at least because I haven’t eaten since this morning. However, I did get things that would be easy on your stomach, so I’d prefer if you at least attempted to eat a little.” 

 

Eren still felt nauseous, so food was the last thing on his mind. He did not want a repeat of this morning. It was easier to not eat anything. “I don’t know if I can… I really don’t want to end up over the toilet again. It’s not my favorite spot in the house.” Eren curled back up in his blankets and went back to his homework, occasionally watching Levi as he cooked over the edge of his books.

 

“I know that you think all food will make you sick, and I get it. But just try a little. If you start to feel worse, then whatever, more for me.” Levi continued cooking in silence while Eren worked. He caught himself watching the boy more often than he would like to admit. He had a nice face and beautiful eyes. If Levi was honest with himself, his entire profile was attractive for a male. He was cute at the same time; how that worked, Levi had no idea.  _ Geeze, what am I thinking. I’m only concerned about the brat starving to death or bleeding out.  _ After some time had passed, dinner was finally ready. Levi rummaged around for some plates and forks and plated Eren’s first. He gave him small amounts of each item. He didn’t really expect him to eat it all, but he hoped he would. He took the plate over to the sofa, pulled the book out of Eren’s hand, and replaced it with a plate of food. “Eat. Or at least try to eat. I expect at least one bite of each item before you even try to say you can’t eat.” 

 

Eren opened his mouth to protest but was quickly shut down as Levi took that as an opportunity to shove a forkful of chicken into the open space he had created. He looked up at Levi with surprise and was met with a smug grin. Levi’s eyes shimmered with satisfaction.  _ He doesn’t change his expression much… but his eyes show all his emotions if you pay enough attention… I wonder if he realizes that…  _

 

Levi placed the book he had taken from Eren on the table and returned to the kitchen to retrieve his own plate of food, then came back and seated himself on the couch next to Eren. “So… How’s the food? Should be a bit better on your stomach than that muffin was.” Eren nodded as he took a small bite of rice.

 

_ Levi is a good cook… This really is good… I wonder if this won’t make me sick...that would be nice… _ Eren continued to pick at his food, slowly finishing off the contents of the plate. Levi took the plate from him once it was empty and set it on the coffee table with his own. 

 

Levi pulled his cell phone from his pocket before shifting so that he was facing Eren. “Let me see your phone, Brat.” Eren gave Levi a look of confusion as he handed his phone over. “I’m giving you my number. Don’t get any ideas about it though, got it? This is just in case something happens. I already know about all this shit, so it would be far more convenient than finding someone else to help you. And I live close anyway, so it would only make sense. Besides, I’m sure you’d rather avoid getting anyone else involved anyway.” Levi texted himself on Eren’s phone then added the contact before handing it back to the boy.  He then added Eren’s number as a contact in his own phone. 

 

Levi gave Eren back his homework and went to clean the kitchen up from dinner. Once he was done he started gathering his things. “I’m heading out. I’ve got work to do. If anything happens… call me.” Levi ran his fingers through Eren’s hair as he walked past and slipped out the door. He paused for a moment outside the shut door, he could have sworn he heard a soft goodnight following after him. The thought caused a soft smile to grace his face. He walked to his car, feeling less worried than he had all day.  _ He ate real food finally. And kept it down. Good job kid. You’ll get there… _ Levi turned the key in the ignition of his car and pulled off down the road to his own apartment. 


	6. Back with a Vengeance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy the new chapter! We had a lot of fun writing it!

Eren wrapped up his homework shortly after Levi left. Gathering his things, he put them back in his bag for class in the morning before heading off to take a shower. The water still stung the slowly healing wounds on his arms and abdomen. He was careful not to pick off any of the scabs as he was too tired to deal with cleaning up blood tonight. Once Eren was done, he tossed on a pair of shorts and crawled into bed.  _ Damn, I’m tired after today. I wonder if I’ll be able to sleep… maybe I should just stay up… _ whether he wanted to or not, sleep soon overtook him. 

 

Eren was sitting at a small kitchen table, a beautiful woman with long brown hair standing in the kitchen cooking something that smelled delicious.  _ Mom…  _ tears pricked at his eyes. It felt like he hadn’t seen her in so long. “Mom.. I’ve missed you so much…” Confusion hit him as he realized she couldn’t hear him. He looked around the room, his eyes finding a younger version of himself in the living room playing with old toys.  _ Ah… No wonder… I’m not really here. When was this even?  _ Eren thought back to the happier times, back to when he still had his mother and before his father went mad. As he tried to remember, he heard the front door slam. His blood ran cold as he remembered exactly what day this was; he desperately wished with every fiber of his being to wake up.  _ I don’t want to see this again… It was enough the first time…  _ This was the day that his father had discovered that hitting his mother was a good outlet for his stress from work -- the day that their perfect life had started to unravel. 

 

This wasn’t the first time Grisha had come home drunk. It had been the cause of many fights between his parents from what Eren could remember. Eren tried to get his mother’s attention, to warn her somehow. But no matter what he said or did, there was no reaction. His scared eyes locked onto the kitchen doorway, waiting on his father to make his appearance. Moments later, the man stumbled in and went straight for Carla. The stench of alcohol was nearly unbearable; it made Eren want to vomit. He watched as Grisha wrapped his arms around his mother’s waist, burying his face against her neck, his hands roaming up her body to drunkenly grope her chest. Carla instantly tensed when the drunkard touched her. Eren desperately wanted to do something but was frozen in place, helpless as he watched the scene unfold before him. 

 

His mother pulled away from Grisha and tried to continue making dinner, but he was having none of that. Grabbing Carla by her ponytail, he dragged her back to him. He spun her around to face him and grabbed her throat. “The fuck do you think you’re doing turning me down, bitch! I’m the only reason you have that damn food to cook. I’m getting tired of your ungrateful bullshit!” Carla grabbed at his arm, choking, trying to escape from his grasp. Eren, still rooted in place, could do nothing but scream at him to stop. Little Eren had left his toys behind now and had run into the kitchen to see what the noise was. Running up to his father, the child grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled. 

 

“Daddy! Daddy, stop! You’re hurting Mommy! Daddy, please!” A loud crash followed as Grisha used his free hand to smack the child away, causing little Eren to be thrown against the cabinets opposite the stove. Dazed, the child got up and ran back, trying to save his mother. Grisha let go of Carla. She fell gasping to the floor. 

 

“Fine, you little brat! You want me to let her go? I’ll let her go. But I’m far from done.” Grisha gave a swift kick to her gut, and she sprawled out on the floor. Little Eren ran to his mother and used his own body to shield her. This only earned him a kick of his own. The impact being too much for his small body to handle, his body fell motionless to the floor. 

 

Eren’s tears fell freely now. He couldn’t move, couldn’t help. He was trapped in his own mind, forced to watch this violence play out again. He could feel his chest seizing up; it was becoming increasingly difficult to breathe. Suddenly the room spun, and he was in his mother’s bedroom. There was blood everywhere. His mother’s pale body was laid out on the floor, a small handgun lying just out of reach of her hand. “Mom! No! NO!” Eren ran to his mother’s side and pulled her lifeless body into his arms, the same way he had when had found her five years ago. He held her close to his chest, willing her to come back. He knew she wouldn’t. She was gone. The abuse had been too much for her. He remembered hearing the gunshot, running to her room, and finding her there on the floor. Eren’s breath was coming in short gasps by now. He was desperately trying to calm himself, to gather air into his lungs, but the weight on his chest wouldn’t allow it. He jumped as his mother started to disappear, the dark shadow of his father now over him. 

 

“It’s your fault you damn son of a bitch! She put a bullet in her head because of you! How are you going to fix this?”  Eren raised his arms to protect himself, but the blows still fell. A kick to the ribs, then another, his arm moving to protect himself, then a hard kick to the head and everything faded to black.

 

Eren’s eyes snapped open, gasping for air that wouldn’t come. He struggled to roll over, falling out of the bed. Reaching up, he felt around for his phone. His lungs felt like a million tiny needles were piercing them over and over again. He couldn’t breathe. He could barely focus his vision on his phone as he tried to unlock it.  _ Levi…. Levi can help...Need… someone…  _ somehow he managed to press the call button before the phone fell from his grasp. Eren fell forward, his head on the carpet as he clutched at his chest. He had to stay awake; he couldn't pass out. Turning his head with what little strength he could muster, he fumbled around and somehow got the speakerphone turned on as a warm voice answered on the other end. 

 

“Seriously Brat? Do you have any idea what time it is?” Levi froze when he heard the sounds on the other end of the line. All he could hear was Eren gasping for air and what sounded like a whimper asking for help. His heart stopped as soon as he realized what was happening.  _ Another attack. Shit!  _ Before he even knew what he was doing, Levi had his keys in hand and was in his car, driving. “Eren, listen to my voice. You’re going to be okay. Just breathe, I’m coming over. Breathe for me okay? And stay awake, you’ve got to stay awake. Inhale, exhale.”

 

_ No -- ! Don’t come over, you can’t see me like this, not again. I don’t want him to know… I don’t want him to know how fucked up I am!  _ The stress he was putting on himself now was enough to constrict his lungs more. There was no helping it, his already shallow breaths were getting smaller. He could hear Levi talking to him, but he couldn’t comprehend what he was saying. 

 

Levi heard Eren’s breathing get worse and tightened his grip on the steering wheel. He pushed on the gas, willing his Q7 to go faster than it already was. He cut the turn into the lot faster than he should have, but he didn’t care. He had to help Eren. Jumping out of his car, he grabbed a small kit out of the door pocket and ran to the apartment door. “Come on kid, that’s not breathing, calm down for me. Inhale, exhale.” Levi pulled a few items out of the pouch and held his phone up to his ear with his shoulder as he deftly went to work picking the lock. He made quick work of it, relief filling him when he heard the mechanism fall into place. Dropping the tools, he sped through the door and bounded to Eren’s room, his phone falling somewhere between the door and his goal. 

 

Eren was quickly losing the battle to stay conscious. He had fallen from his knees and was now on his side facing the bedroom door. As he gasped for air, he saw a shadow fill the doorway and then rush to his side. Strong arms pulled him against a firm chest. Levi’s voice filled his ears. He could finally hear him; the warmth in his voice washed over him. Levi was like a panacea that eased all his problems the moment he was in his arms.

 

“Shhhh. Eren it’s okay, I’m here now. You’re safe. Breathe for me… Please breathe. Inhale, exhale.” Levi had one hand rubbing Eren’s back, the other supporting the back of his head. As he felt the small body in his arms begin to relax, Levi released a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding.  _ Thank God. I made it in time.  _ Levi continued murmuring soft reassurances to the brunette and rubbing his back until Eren made a move to pull away.

 

“Y-you didn’t have to come over… I-I’m sorry for calling so late... “ His voice came out barely more than a whisper. Even that level was difficult for him after an attack of that scale. But he couldn’t trouble Levi more than he already had. “I’m alright, s-so you can go back home. You need your sleep. I’m sorry...” 

 

Levi’s eyes narrowed slightly. He didn’t believe the boy for a second. “Right. That’s why you called me at 3 in the morning unable to breathe, because you’re alright.”  _ Does he have no sense of self preservation? He obviously wants help, he called me after all. Why is it any different now that I’m here? _

 

Eren tensed up. He shouldn’t have called him.  _ He’s mad. What was I thinking calling him? I’m such a useless piece of shit. I can’t even breathe right without someone’s help--otherwise I just pass out. I should have just left it alone. I’d have woken up eventually. And if I didn’t, then… even better.  _ “I’m sorry Levi… I am fine now, though. I’m just tired. I’m going to go back to sleep since I don’t have to be up for class for another couple of hours. Thank you for coming by…”

 

Levi stood, hiding his frustration at the boy in front of him. “Whatever you say brat. I’m going home to go back to bed then.” Levi glanced back down, wanting to take in the brat’s state one last time before leaving. He only then noticed that he was wearing nothing but a pair of loose fitting shorts.  _ For such a skinny brat he has a nice body. Shame he’s scarred it all up… wonder how those will heal… I bet he’s pretty attractive when he’s got weight on him. Guess I’ll find out soon enough. Eventually I’ll get some weight back on him. Then I’m done. All I’m doing is getting him back to a good healthy state. Then he can fend for himself. It’s like taking care of a stray, nothing more.  _ Levi turned and made his way out of the apartment, picking up his phone where it had fallen on his way in, as well as the tools he had left laying outside the door. Once he was back in his car, Levi made himself comfortable. There was no way he was leaving the brat. If he had another attack, Levi wanted to make sure that he could get to him faster than the last time. 

 

Any semblance of warmth Eren had left with Levi. He sighed as he crawled back into bed to stare at his ceiling, turning the classical music from Tuesday night back on.  _ I really am fucked up. I wonder if sleeping pills would help…. I’ll get some tomorrow. Maybe they’ll just knock me out, and I can sleep dreamlessly. Worst case scenario, I’ll just down them all and be done.  _ Eren spent the next four hours tearing himself apart mentally, waiting until he could feasibly get up to go to class.

 

Levi waited as long as he could before going back to his apartment, gathering all his books, and reluctantly returning to campus.  _ I wonder if Eren’s all right. I left a couple of cups of yogurt in the fridge. Hopefully he’ll eat something for breakfast. I’ll have to ask him after class…  _ He drove to campus in silence, making his now normal loop past Eren’s apartment on his way.

 

Eren decided to finally get up and get dressed at seven. He felt hungry for once, so he decided to see what else Levi had bought when he had gone to the store on Monday. Opening the fridge, he found more of the yogurt that he had eaten that day.  _ Well, that wasn’t bad. I guess I’ll try this again... _ He pulled out another strawberry one and retrieved a spoon from the drawer. He quickly ate the contents before grabbing his bag, tossing a banana inside in case he got hungry later and heading out. Before going to class, he stopped by Armin’s to get his usual coffee. He spent a few minutes catching up with the little bundle of sunshine and his boyfriend then continued on to class, coffee in hand. It had only been a few hours, but he was ready to see Levi again. He had become almost like a safe space for Eren over the past few days. 

 

Levi had taken his seat in the back of the classroom and was impatiently waiting for Eren to show up.  _ That brat better show up. I swear… I will go drag him out of that apartment myself if I have to.  _ Levi tapped his foot impatiently as he stared at the door, his Eren Alert gauge steadily going up the more time that passed. He pulled his phone out to text the boy but caught him walking in out of the corner of his eye, coffee in hand, just like the first day he had seen him.  _ Hm. I forgot in the midst of this shit storm how much he had stood out on Monday.  _ Levi followed Eren with his eyes as he started toward his seat, a hint of a smile on his face when the brunette stopped beside his desk. Levi watched him glance around the room, a smile breaking across Eren’s face the moment their eyes met.  _ Fuck, he’s too cute for his own good. Like a puppy. Cute like a stray puppy.  _ Levi acted before he had a chance to think about what he was doing, patting the empty desk next to him and inviting Eren to sit beside him. His heart fluttered at the dazzling smile he got from Eren in response; for once, the smile made it all the way to his beautiful eyes. 

 

_ Thank god today is going so well finally. No crazy panic attacks, no puking, no blood. Just relatively normal me and super normal class. And Levi even asked me to sit by him! Finally I can talk to him  _ normally.  _ As long as I can manage to keep my head on straight, this should be improvement… right?  _ Eren climbed the steps up to Levi and slid into the desk next to him. “Morning! I hope you were able to get some more sleep… I really am sorry for calling you so late… You didn’t sound very happy when you first picked up the phone…” 

 

Levi sat dumbfounded for half a second.  _ Of course I didn’t sound happy. It was three in the fucking morning. But for fuck’s sake, you weren’t breathing! What else were you supposed to do, you damn brat?  _ “I didn’t look at who was calling before I answered. I thought it was one of my research partners.”  _ Huuuuugee ass lie. I don’t answer my phone. Ever. Everything goes to voicemail. If I care enough to call you back, then you get to talk to me. This brat is different though. I honestly had answered before I realized what I had done. I’m glad I did though. I don’t even want to know how this morning would have gone if he had been alone… I wonder how he handled those before Monday… Not that I care. He survived before, he’ll survive now. Whatever.  _ “Anyway, have you eaten anything yet? Coffee doesn’t have nearly enough nutrients to prevent you from starving, you know.”  _ And I totally don’t have food stashed in my bag now in case you say no.  _

 

“Oh yeah! I found some of the yogurt you left in the fridge. I ate one of those. Thank you for those, by the way!” Eren was really pushing his happy go lucky act today. It wasn’t as hard to keep the mask on around Levi, though. Almost like it was real happiness. Before the conversation could go any further, the professor came in and class began. 

 

They continued their dissection of Madame Bovary, and the professor gave the new assignment for the next few classes before releasing them. Eren gathered his things and turned toward Levi’s desk, only to find the seat vacant. Quickly looking around, he caught sight of the shorter man walking down the steps toward the door. He was thankful that Levi had worn the bright red button down he had. It made him much easier to see.  _ Damn… He’s got a nice ass.... I don’t think I’ve ever seen him walking away…  _ The crimson shirt hung perfectly off his shoulder, with a pair of slim fit black pants.  _ I really questioned myself on Monday, but really… he’s attractive. _ Eren bounded down the stairs after the shorter man. “Levi! I guess you have another class?”

 

“Yes, at 9:30.”  _ I should probably stay with him actually till my class...that would be easiest. Just in case something happens.  _ “Do you have another class today?”  _ I know he has French… No I didn’t look up his classes just to know where he was. It was for TA purposes only. I just happened to see it while helping the professor with some files. Coincidentally. _

 

“Oh! Yeah, I have French II at 11. Then I’ve got to go run a few errands after that.”  _ Namely, I need drugs to make me sleep without seeing my dead mother and getting raped by my asshole father. But he doesn’t need to know that.   _

 

Levi didn’t miss the shadow that crossed Eren’s face. His Eren Alert came back to attention.  _ Somehow I knew he still wasn’t fine. Shit. And our classes overlap, so I can’t check on him.  _ He felt tired just thinking about the stress he would be going through for the next several hours.  _ Geeze. Can’t check up on the boy, damn symposium to attend tomorrow and Saturday, then compiling our research Sunday. Will he be okay that long? Maybe I should go over tonight and make sure he eats…  _ “French is a valuable language to learn. That was a good choice.” The pair had made their way out into the hall by now, Eren staying at Levi’s side while he continued on to his next classroom. 

 

“It sucked at first. But now it’s not so bad. Do you know any other languages?” Eren was thankful to have a relatively normal conversation with another person. Armin had been the only person he had really ever talked to, but that was only friendly shop talk. This was different. 

 

“Well, it would be hard with my focus to not know a second language. It’s hard to read old French books if you don’t know French.”  _ Though it’s easy for someone whose first language is French. Benefits of being raised there for the first ten years of my life. That’s irrelevant to the conversation though.  _ The two continued their small talk for a few more minutes before Levi had to head off to class. “I need to go, but keep yourself out of trouble, brat. You have my number if you need help.”

 

After that, the day seemed to drag for Levi. He constantly checked his phone, not wanting to see Eren’s name appear, but at the same time, he wished the brat would at least check in. He sighed and focused his attention back on his professor, willing the day to move faster. 

 

After French, Eren walked to the drugstore and browsed the many options available for sleep aids. He ended up just grabbing one that looked decent.  _ Hm, Unisom, I think I’ve seen commercials for this one, so I guess that's good enough…  _ He picked up an extra box just to be safe. He hated going to the store and avoided it at all costs. People weren’t really his thing. Not anymore at least. While walking back, his phone went off. Pulling it out of his pocket, he was shocked to see a text from Levi.

 

**Levi: I have too much food at my house. Can I bring you over some dinner? I’m just going to throw it out if you don’t want it.**

 

**Eren: I already picked up something small while I was out running errands. Thank you though. I’m just going to study for my French exam that’s coming up and go to bed early.**

 

**Levi: Whatever brat. Suit yourself. Make sure you make it to class tomorrow. I’ll be out of town and won’t be able to come get your ass if you're late.**

 

**Eren: I’ll be there. Promise. Be safe.**

  
  


The exchange with Eren made Levi nervous.  _ Did he really get food on his own? I guess he did eat breakfast today. Maybe I should have a little more faith in him. _ Levi set his phone down, making sure the volume was turned all the way up; he wanted to be sure he would hear the phone if Eren called.  

 

Once he got home, Eren tossed his bag on the couch and headed for the bathroom. He took a bath to help him relax, then got ready for bed. He retrieved the bottle of pills he had purchased earlier and quickly scanned the label.  _ Take 2 with water before bed. Hm. I doubt that will be enough for me.  _ He poured 4 pills into his hand and tossed them into his mouth. Putting on his classical music, Eren climbed into bed and was quickly forced into a peaceful sleep.

 

Eren woke the next morning feeling well rested. He rolled out of bed and got ready for the day, downed a blueberry yogurt this time, snagged his bag, and headed out the door. He stopped for his coffee and continued on to French Lit.  _ Finally, things are going back to normal. Oh… Levi won’t be here today… maybe I should let him know that I made it on time…  _ Eren sat where he and Levi had been yesterday morning and pulled out his phone. 

 

**Eren: Class is boring. Bet your trip is more fun. I discovered I like blueberry yogurt too.**

 

**Levi: The trip is definitely NOT fun. I don’t particularly enjoy being shut up in a car with noisy idiots. Good to know you can get up on your own.**

 

**Eren: Listen to music. Then you can’t hear them.**

 

**Levi: Pay attention to the lecture.**

 

**Eren: But it’s boooorrriiinnnggg.**

 

Eren left his phone out on his desk in case Levi decided to text back, but no such text ever came. Class continued on as usual. Eren kept looking over at the empty desk next to him, far more interested in the vacant seat than the lecture that was currently taking place. 

 

Levi was glad Eren had texted him. He had been worried all morning about whether the green eyed wonder would make it or not.  _ Hm. Blueberry yogurt was okay, I’ll have to remember that. Strawberries and blueberries are safe. I hope today stays uneventful. Four hours is too far to be away if something happens.  _ Levi was left to his thoughts as the symposium was on break. He didn’t care to talk to any of the other attendees, and they left the small, angry looking man well enough alone. 

 

After French Lit, Eren sat through humanities, which was only slightly more boring than the previous class. Eren nibbled at the banana he had stashed in his bag yesterday as he listened to the lecture. After class, he wandered around campus for a while snapping pictures of various student groups, anything that could be useful to the paper, and decided to head home around four o’clock.

 

Back home, he worked through his homework so that he wouldn’t have to worry about it over the weekend, then decided to see if he could find something to eat for dinner. Settling on rice, he followed the directions on the bag and attempted to make a small amount. While the food was cooking, he took a shower and got ready for bed. Returning to the kitchen, he found the rice completely burned to the bottom of the pan.  _ God dammit. I really suck at cooking. One reason why I never bothered to eat much. Oh well, I’m not really hungry anyway.  _  He tossed the blackened lump into the trash and the pan into the sink. He then headed off to bed. Throwing back another 4 pills, he curled up and was quickly out. However, the sleep was not so peaceful tonight. Eren tossed and turned throughout the night. Nightmares bombarded him endlessly, but he never woke, thanks to the medication. He remained a prisoner in his own mind until the drug had worn off. 

 

Levi’s Eren Alert was on high Saturday morning, and it worried him.  _ I didn’t hear from him at all after yesterday morning. I wonder how he’s doing. I should probably remind him to eat something…  _ Levi pulled out his phone and composed a message as he and his group drove off for the second day of the symposium. 

 

**Levi: Don’t forget to eat breakfast brat. How did you sleep?**

**Eren: Fine.**

**Levi: Fine you’ll eat or you slept fine?**

 

**Eren: Both.**

 

**Levi: . . . . . Whatever brat. Any plans for your day off?**

 

**Eren: No.**

 

**Levi: Well stay out of trouble. I’ll be back tonight but I’ll be on campus all day tomorrow. Don’t forget you can call if you need me.**

 

**Eren: Kay.**

  
  


Something was up, and Levi knew it, which frustrated him to no end.  _ That damned brat and his shitty attitude. What is up with him. Something must have happened. I’ll figure it out when I get back….  _ Levi checked in with Eren periodically over the remainder of the day as well as Sunday, but never got more than single word answers. By the time Monday rolled around, he was on high alert and anxious to see his brat.  _ Not mine. Never mind. Didn’t mean that. Stray puppy, that’s all.  _

 

Eren had continued taking the medication Saturday and Sunday night, neither time getting any kind of rest. The nightmares were as bad as always, only now, he never woke up. He was trapped in them. He hadn’t eaten at all over the weekend. Food just never appealed to him during the day, and he never really got hungry. He thought about skipping French lit Monday morning, but then he remembered that Levi would be back.  _ Maybe I’ll feel better if I see him… it usually works that way…  _ He tossed on an oversized sweatshirt, pulled on his favorite pair of skinny jeans, and headed to class. By the time he made it to the classroom, he was ready to go back to bed. The trek to campus had taken more out of him than usual. The weary boy trudged up the steps to his desk, not even noticing if Levi was in his seat or not. He dropped his bag to the floor and rested his head back against the wall, closing his eyes to rest until class started. 

 

All of Levi’s concerns were instantly warranted the moment Eren walked through the door. His features were sullen, and he hadn’t put any effort into his appearance for the day. He didn’t even have a cup of coffee with him this time. Levi’s heart sank as he watched the boy slowly make his way up to the desk and plop down like he hadn’t slept in a month.  _ He’s so pale… and the bags under his eyes are awful… What on earth happened while I was gone… He never called, so it couldn’t have been an attack… Unless he wasn’t able to get to his phone. But still, he could have told me it happened…  _ Not caring about the students around them, Levi reached out and put a hand on Eren’s face, turning him toward him. “Eren, what happened to you? You look like shit, kid. Have you been eating and sleeping normally?” Eren slowly opened his eyes, the knot in Levi’s gut tightening as he met the dull green orbs looking back at him. 

 

“Does it fucking matter?” Eren responded in a flat tone. He just wanted to rest, to not talk to anyone, and to be left alone. He thought seeing Levi would magically melt all his problems away, but it didn’t. He honestly felt annoyed that he was even asking.  _ Why does he care, anyway? He’s only known me a week.  _

 

Levi’s eyes narrowed at Eren’s response and he withdrew his hand.  _ Oh, hell no. We are not doing this. This damn brat is going to tell me what’s up if it kills him. I’ve put up with too much babysitting over the last week for him to not at least owe me that.  _ “It does to most people. Food and sleep are sort of important.”

 

“Just leave me alone, I don’t feel like getting lectured today.”  _ Why am I snapping at him? It's not his fault… I should apologize... _ Eren sighed heavily before closing his eyes again. “I’m sorry Levi… I just didn’t sleep very well last night…”

 

_ This is more than just a bad night's sleep. Even last week with all that mess, he never once snapped at me. I haven’t known him for long, but I know that’s not normal for Eren.  _ “Listen kid, I can sneak away for a while at noon. How about you come with me to grab something small to eat? That can be your apology.” Levi eyed the boy beside him as he started to get fidgety, his Eren Alert ticking up another notch. 

 

“O-okay… I don’t know if I’ll be hungry, but I’ll at least go with you…What are we getting?” Eren knew for a fact that he wouldn’t be hungry. He had had no appetite all weekend, so why would that change now? But still, Levi had asked him to go with him; he couldn’t say no. 

 

“I’ll meet you outside this building at 12:15. There’s a great little sandwich shop just off campus. All their food would be easy on your stomach. I think you’ll like it. They have fresh fruit too, so we can get you some fresh strawberries if you want.” Levi was willing to do whatever it took to get the brat to eat, and if bribing him with strawberries worked, he was okay with that. 

 

“Strawberries sound good…. Okay, I’ll meet you there.” With that, they turned their attention to the professor, and the day dragged on. 


	7. High Alert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh guys. This one was a little tough to write to be honest. But we hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Make sure to check out The Good Ship on Youtube for updates on the fic and follow us on tumblr!! Akiramakoto.tumblr.com

After what seemed like eternity, lunchtime rolled around, and Levi met up with Eren. They walked in a comfortable silence, Levi making sure to watch Eren out of the corner of his eye as they went. The brunette kept rubbing his eyes as if they were bothering him, blinking afterword like he was struggling to focus.  _ He did say he hadn’t slept well last night, but this doesn’t look like sleep deprivation… That looks more like his eyes are bothering him…  _ Levi made a mental note, Eren Alert ticking up once more. 

 

Walking into the sandwich shop, Eren moved to sit at a table nearby. “You know you have to actually order your food, right?” Levi deadpanned while shooting Eren a playful smirk. “You are going to at least try to eat; that was part of the apology.”

 

Eren sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Just pick something you think I’ll be able to eat. You’ve been good at that so far. I don’t care… I’m really not hungry, anyway.” Levi shook his head and went up to the counter to order. He returned shortly with two plates. The one he set in front of Eren appeared to be some kind of grilled cheese.  _ I guess I can try to eat this… _

 

“That should go down pretty easily, so at least try to eat some of it.” Levi took a bite of his own sandwich, watching Eren tear small pieces off of the grilled cheese. It worried him how shaky the boy’s fingers seemed to be as he picked at his food.  _ It’s just because he hasn’t eaten. I know it’ll go away once he gets some food in him. That’s what happened last week. He really is like a sad little stray puppy who can’t fend for himself.  _

 

Eren managed to down half of the meal even though it tasted like cardboard to him.  _ I knew I wouldn’t be able to eat much. I wish it had tasted good though. Well, at least I appeased Levi… _ Eren pushed the plate away, crossed his arms on the table, and laid his head there, waiting on Levi to finish his own food. 

 

Levi quickly finished his own, disposed of the plates without questioning Eren on how little he had eaten, and returned to the table. Propping his head on his fist, he studied the boy across from him.  _ He doesn’t look well at all… He should be feeling better after eating…. _ “Hey brat, look at me.” Eren shifted so that his chin was resting on his arms looking across at Levi. Flat, faded orbs looked back at him. Eren wasn’t focused at all. It was like he was looking right through Levi, and that unsettled him. Levi held his hand out toward Eren. “Let me see your hand.” A shadow of confusion flitted across the boy’s face, but he willingly placed his wrist in Levi’s outstretched palm. Levi pushed up his sleeve with the intention of checking his wounds.  _ He’s still shaking. That should have stopped by now. Something else is going on here.  _ “Well, it looks like these are finally starting to heal up; that’s good. Don’t add to them, it’s a pain to dress them.”

 

Eren pulled his hand back, holding it to his chest, eyes widening slightly.  _ Crap. I caused him trouble, I can’t keep causing him problems.  _ He felt his chest start to tighten and his breathing starting to come quicker.  _ NO, no attacks now! Why now? I can’t trouble him! He’s going to hate me, I’m a handful. I should just go away.  _

 

Levi quickly noticed the change in the brunette’s breathing and reached across the table to put a hand on his shoulder. “Eren, hey, it’s okay. You’re fine. Just breathe, don’t worry about it. I don’t mind helping you. Just breathe, kid.” Levi was thankful when Eren’s breathing slowly returned to somewhat normal.  _ That was out of nowhere…. What even triggered that? All I said was that they were healing and that it was a -- Shit. I told him it was a pain. I basically told him that he was a pain. He’s panicking because I told him he was a pain… Way to go, Levi, aren’t you just a little shit. But still… I’ve said things like that before, and it never triggered an attack. Something is off.  _ His Eren Alert continued to rise as he made a point to keep a closer eye on Eren until he figured out what was going on. 

 

At this point, Eren was ready to go home and crawl into bed. He was more tired than he had been in days even though he was sleeping through the night. “Thanks for the food… I think I’m going to go home. I’m pretty tired today, I just want to go to bed.” Eren got up out of his chair and took off out the door, not even bothering to wait for Levi. 

 

_ Something is definitely up with him.  _ Levi let him go, trailing behind him to simply observe.  _ He’s so unsteady… I doubt he can walk all the way home on his own…  _ Levi called out to the brunette ahead of him. “Oi, brat! Let me give you a ride home. It’ll be faster for you to get to bed that way.”  _ At least this way I know he’ll get home safely.  _  Eren came to a halt and waited for Levi to catch up to him as they arrived at the school parking lot. 

 

“I guess that’s fine… You don’t have to come in though, you can just drop me at the door… I’m just going to bed anyway…” Eren never once looked up from the ground. He simply followed Levi as he walked to his Q7 and then climbed into the passenger seat, remaining silent for the short drive home. He was thankful that Levi allowed him the quiet and didn’t try to ask any questions. 

 

Levi respected Eren’s request and dropped him at the door. However, he didn’t budge until the boy was completely inside with the door shut. He then waited for another twenty minutes just to be sure that Eren didn’t plan to go anywhere else. He decided to send Eren a text before he left, just to be sure that everything was alright.

 

**Levi: Can I give you a ride to campus in the morning? I’ll bring breakfast?**

 

**Eren: No. I’m good. I’d rather walk.**

 

**Levi: Whatever kid. Don’t be late to class then. I happen to know that you have a pop quiz tomorrow. Might want to study.**

 

**Eren: Kay.**

 

Levi didn’t want to push anything, so he decided to go home and let Eren be for now. He busied himself with his own homework and tried to push Eren from his mind. He struggled to focus though, worry seeping through him like cold air. He finally finished all his work at eight and got ready for bed, setting out his clothes and making sure his bag was ready for the next morning. He typed out a short message to Eren wishing him goodnight, then erased it all and plugged in his phone. He climbed into bed and drifted off to sleep. 

 

Levi sat at his desk the next morning impatiently waiting for his brat to arrive.  _ Because he’s like my responsibility right now. That’s it. Only reason. He’s my bratty responsibility. Right.  _ His Eren Alert started screaming at him the moment the brunette trudged through the door. If possible, he looked even worse than he had the day before. Eren fell into his seat and let out a long groan. 

 

Levi reached out and put his hand to the boy’s forehead, worried that he may have a fever. No sooner had he made contact than Eren jerked away from the touch like he had been burned, his eyes wide with fear. Levi pulled back, brow wrinkling slightly in confusion. “Hey kid, it’s just me… No need to get so jumpy, I was just checking to make sure you’re not running a fever is all. You look pretty damn rough.”

 

“I-I don’t think I am… I’m just tired… Sorry, Levi… Just ignore me.”  _ Way to go, Jaeger… now he’s gonna think  _ you  _ hate  _ him.  _ Perfect.  _ Eren resituated himself at his desk before pulling out his notebook for class. He had studied a little bit after Levi’s text last night, so he felt pretty confident about any kind of quiz that would be coming his way. Eren was ready to be done with the day already, his night had been shit. Once again, he had slept through the night but had nightmares scattered throughout. 

 

“Come get lunch with me again today. I’ll meet you at the same sandwich shop at two. Sound good? I can help you study or something. Didn’t you say you had a French exam coming up soon?” Levi had a feeling that he hadn’t eaten since lunch yesterday. If the only way he ate was when forced, then Levi was prepared to be forceful. 

 

“I can’t today. I don’t feel like eating. Thanks anyway. I’ve got work to do for the paper, then I’ll be going home again.” He didn’t feel like being around any people, nor could he stomach any food at this point. 

 

Levi didn’t like that Eren was refusing food. Even when he had been sick, he had still tried to eat. “At least try to eat something? Strawberries or a banana or something?” Eren rolled his eyes at Levi and shook his head. 

  
“No! I told you, I don’t want to! Just stop it…” Eren snapped back. 

 

“Eren, please, be mature about this. You need to eat.” Levi attempted to reason with him but failed. Eren growled at him before gathering his things and stomping down to his old desk. Before Levi had a chance to stop him, the professor walked in and class started. The raven haired man sat fuming at the back of the classroom.  _ The hell does he think he is? I don’t offer to take just anyone out to lunch for fuck’s sake. Fucking shit faced brat. Whatever. I’m done, he doesn’t want help, I won’t fucking give it to him.  _

 

The day passed in a blur for Eren after he had stormed off.  _ I didn’t mean to get so upset at him….but if I say I don’t want to do something, don’t keep pushing me…  _ His thoughts began to run away with him as he walked the familiar path home.  _ What if he never talks to me again? I bet I pissed him off…. Well… maybe it will be better that way… then I can just stop going to class slowly, no one will miss me anymore… I can just...fade away.  _ He continued with his dark line of thought until he caught a familiar face leaning against a building across the path. Eren’s blood ran cold, and he stopped dead in his tracks. Eren quickly shot behind a tree before looking again.  _ Please god no… he can’t be back… I was just imagining it, right? _ Peeking around, he found the corner of the building again, only this time it was vacant. Frightened, his eyes darted all around the area, trying to locate the man he had just seen. His lungs refused to work when his eyes landed on a familiar back walking away.  _ No, no, no, no, no! He’s not back, he can’t be back. He fucking left!  _ His lungs burned. Barely getting air, dizziness overtaking him, he tried to brace himself against the tree but fell to his knees instead. His vision blurred with tears while he clung to his chest, willing himself to breathe, but his breaths only getting shallower. He tried to call for help, but no sound would come. Gasping for air, he whimpered and fell to his side, no strength left to hold himself up.  _ Levi! Help...please...I’m sorry I got so mad this morning… please...help me...he’s going to kill me… _ Heart thundering in his chest as his world started to fade, he could have sworn he heard someone calling his name.  _ Levi… _

 

Even though he had said he was done with the brat, Levi found himself following the now familiar route home, his eyes darting from the road to the sidewalk as he tried to keep an eye out for Eren in case he was walking home. He had to figure out what was going on with the boy.  _ Where the fuck did he go? He’s not on campus, I already checked his classes and the newspaper… maybe he’s already ho-- _ His thoughts were interrupted by a couple standing off to the side of the road pointing at something. Upon closer inspection, that something was a shaking head of brown hair. Levi quickly pulled his car to the side of the road. Jumping out, he started walking toward the shaking mass. “Eren…?” He questioned it at first, then saw that the quivering mess was wearing the same thing Eren had be wearing that morning in class. “Eren!” He broke into a run, quickly closing the distance between them. Levi gathered Eren into his arms. Holding him close, he picked up the mantra that had become so familiar as of late, trying to get him to breathe. “Shhhh. Come on kid, I’ve got you now, you’re okay, breathe for me, Eren. Shhhh…”

 

Warmth surrounded Eren, and his heart stopped for a moment before recognizing the arms around him. _ L-Levi… H-he’s back… H-he’s back… H-he can’t be b-back… L-Levi, he’s going to k-kill me… _ He felt the arms around him tighten, and the comforting sounds stopped for a brief moment before resuming their mantra. Eren tried to breathe, he really did, but his lungs refused to cooperate. His consciousness slipped away, his last thoughts ringing through his head.  _ Dad is back… I’m dead… He found me... _

 

Levi was on high alert after hearing Eren’s muttering. He’s eyes shot around looking for any imposing characters while he tried to comfort Eren, his attention snapping back to the boy the second he went limp in his arms.  _ Fuck! Damn brat. At least his breathing is returning to normal… so he should wake up soon... Who the hell was he talking about? Who’s back? Why would anyone want Eren dead? Sure he’s a shitty brat, but that’s no reason to kill him…  _ Levi made it a point to get to the bottom of this as soon as possible. Even the thought of Eren being scared for his life angered him. Eren didn’t deserve that. Levi passed the intense urge to protect the boy off as just the desire to protect a wounded puppy. He didn’t want to address those feelings beyond that. Not now. He gently picked up the boy and carried him to the Q7, buckled him into the seat, and took off toward Eren’s apartment. 

 

Arriving at the apartment, Levi carried Eren to the door. The boy began to stir as Levi worked on unlocking the door with the key he had retrieved from Eren’s bag back in the car. He managed to get the door open and get Eren on the couch.  Levi started to walk toward the kitchen but was stopped when a weak hand grasped his own. “Please… don’t leave… I don’t want to be alone...please..” Eren’s plea came out in nearly a whisper, tears starting to fall. Levi’s heart hurt for the boy, the fear that was in his eyes angering the older man. 

 

Levi knelt by the couch, returning Eren’s grip on his hand. He placed a comforting hand against the boy’s pale face and wiped away the tears with his thumb. “Shhh. I’m not leaving you, Eren. It’s okay, I’m here. I’m just going to the kitchen to make you some tea, okay? It’ll make you feel better, I promise. Can I go to the kitchen? I’ll come right back, promise.” Eren nodded, his hand falling from Levi’s as he curled in on himself. Levi covered him with the fluffiest blanket he could find amidst Eren’s bundle of blankets at the end of the couch and hurried off to make the promised tea. 

 

Returning shortly with two steaming mugs, he set them on the coffee table before turning back to Eren. He sat the brunette up just enough for himself to squeeze between Eren and the arm of the couch. Reaching over, he picked up Eren’s mug and handed it to him, then retrieved his own. Leaning back into the couch, he wrapped his free arm around the still quivering boy and started to rub small circles on his arm, pulling him close in an attempt to comfort him. 

 

Levi took a sip of his tea then rested his chin on the top of Eren’s head.  _ I need to know what happened to trigger this attack, but I’m worried that if I ask it will just trigger another one… He’s already been on edge today… _ Levi continued his absentminded comforting as he tried to process the best way to figure out what had happened. 

 

Eren sipped at his tea, snuggling into Levi’s chest. “You make good tea… thank you.” A small smile crossed his face as a deep chuckle rumbled through Levi’s chest. 

 

“Well, I should hope so brat. It’s about the only thing I drink, so I would like to think that I make it damn well.” Levi took another sip of his own, the pleasant warmth spreading through him. 

 

Eren yawned as he set his mug down on the coffee table. “Hey, Levi?” 

 

“Yeah, kid?” 

 

“Thank you for saving me… No one else would help… I didn’t know what to do anymore… I couldn’t catch my breath at all… a-and if you hadn’t come….” his weak voice trailed off into quiet sobs as he shook in Levi’s arms. 

 

“Shhhh….You’re safe” Levi set his own mug down and wrapped his other arm around the trembling boy. “Shh you’re okay, no one is going to hurt you, not while I’m around. You’re safe, Eren, I promise.” Levi absentmindedly wondered at what point he had developed such a strong desire to protect this boy. Brushing off the thought, he continued to comfort the frail boy in his arms. Before long, the trembling subsided, and his breathing evened out in sleep. Levi couldn’t bring himself to move and wake the boy. Before long, he too succumbed to exhaustion.

 

Levi groaned as piercing light shined on his face. He slowly awoke and took in his surroundings.  _ Where the fuck am I…?  _ Looking down, he found Eren asleep on his lap with the most peaceful expression he had ever seen. Tenderly, Levi brushed a stray lock of hair from Eren’s face, his fingers softly caressing his cheek.  _ You’ve been dealt such a shit hand at life, haven’t you kid? You deserve better than this mess.  _ He wasn’t too worried about the time since he didn’t officially have any classes to attend on Wednesdays, but he knew eventually Eren had one. Glancing at the clock on the wall and seeing that it was only seven, he decided that he could allow the boy to sleep for just a little while longer. He ran his fingers through Eren’s soft hair and started softly singing. 

 

_ À la claire fontaine, _ _   
_ _ M'en allant promener _ _   
_ _ J'ai trouvé l'eau si belle _ _   
_ _ Que je m'y suis baigné _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Il y a longtemps que je t'aime _ _   
_ _ Jamais je ne t'oublierai _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Sous les feuilles d'un chêne, _ _   
_ _ Je me suis fait sécher _ _   
_ _ Sur la plus haute branche, _ _   
_ __ Un rossignol chantait

_   
_ _ Chante rossignol, chante, _ _   
_ _ Toi qui as le cœur gai _ _   
_ _ Tu as le cœur à rire, _ _   
_ __ Moi je l'ai à pleurer

  
  


“You’ve got a beautiful singing voice… what on earth are you doing in the lit department?” Eren rubbed his eyes sleepily as he sat up.  _ I think that’s the best I’ve slept in five years...Even if it was on the couch.  _

 

Levi tensed at the quiet voice complimenting him. No one had heard him sing apart from his mother. It was not something he shared with others. He quickly got up from the couch and took the mugs from the previous evening to the kitchen. “Well, don’t get used to hearing it. You won’t be hearing it again. No one will. I sing for me, myself, and I.” 

 

“That’s so sad… I really enjoyed it… You must have really loved whoever you were thinking of when you were singing...I could hear it in your voice.” Eren slid off the couch, blanket wrapped tightly around himself as he wandered into the kitchen. 

 

Levi gripped the edge of the counter tightly. “It doesn’t matter if I did or not. She’s gone now.” He felt Eren rest his forehead on his back and tensed.

 

“I’m sorry… What happened?” Eren was enjoying the physical contact with Levi. It was comforting; he felt like he had nothing to be worried about when he could feel him. 

  
Levi pulled away and started to gather the few things he had brought in with them the previous evening. “I’m not talking about this. Take a shower and get ready for class. You don’t want to be late. I’ve got to go meet some classmates for a project. Call if you need me.” With that, Levi rushed out the door. 

 

Eren got ready for class, mind lingering on what had happened that morning. A pang of jealousy hit him thinking about Levi singing so tenderly for someone.  _ I wonder if he would ever sing like that because of me… heh… that would be too much to ask for. I’m not worth those kind of precious feelings.  _ The day sped by, and before he knew it, Eren was back home. He hadn’t heard from Levi all day.  _ I wonder if I made him mad… Oh well… I can apologize in class tomorrow morning…  _ With that, Eren threw back his now standard 4 pills and curled up in bed, Levi’s soft voice singing him to sleep in his head. 

 

Eren rolled out of bed early the next morning and hurriedly got dressed. He was anxious to get to class to see Levi.  _ I need to apologize for yesterday morning… I know I was prying, and I shouldn’t have...unhh my head is killing me this morning…  _ Since he was in a hurry, he decided to drive to class today. Hopping in his old Camry, he took off toward campus. Speeding down the road, his vision started to blur as it had for the last few days.  _ Shit! Not now, this isn’t good… _ Eren rubbed his eyes, trying to get them to focus. They cleared just as he came speeding up on a stopped vehicle. Eren quickly jerked the steering wheel to the right. He tried to brace himself but was too slow. Tires screeched and metal gave a sickening crunch as he was launched into a large tree. The impact slammed his body forward. His last thought before his head made contact with the dash was a silent apology.  _ Levi… I’m sorry…. _


	8. Secrets Revealed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo..... We felt bad about the cliffhanger heartbreak. Buuuutttt This one isn't much better XD Be sure to leave comments and follow us on Tumblr!!
> 
> akiramakoto.tumblr.com

Levi knew it was irrational to be angry at Eren. It’s not like he knew what he was asking about. Isabel was a long time ago - she was like a sister to Levi. But she was gone now, and that was all that mattered. He sat in his usual spot, waiting for Eren to come to class. He grew more impatient the more time that passed. As the professor started class, Levi began texting Eren. 

 

**Levi: Where are you brat? Class is starting. (8:00)**

 

**Levi: Seriously kid, did you oversleep or something? (8:15)**

 

**Levi: Eren. This isn’t funny. Answer me. (8:30)**

 

**Levi: Fucking hell you shitty brat, answer your damn phone! (8:45)**

 

**Levi: Congratulations you little shit. You’ve successfully skipped your entire French Lit class. Do you feel accomplished? (9:00)**

 

**Levi: Eren seriously, are you okay? Just text me back. (9:10)**

 

**Levi: Eren please? (9:25)**

 

Levi’s phone started ringing as he was walking into his 9:30 class. Glancing at the caller ID and seeing that it wasn’t Eren, he sent the call to voicemail. He sent several more texts through his class, his worry almost unbearable now. Walking out of class at 10:45, he decided to check the voicemail he had received earlier. Levi paled and nearly dropped his phone as he listened to the voice on the other end of the line. Hand flying to his mouth, he felt sick.

 

**_This is Casey with Shiganshina General Hospital. There has been an accident involving Eren Jaeger. We’re contacting you as you’re the only person in his phone who he’s been in contact with in the last several weeks. Eren’s injuries weren’t life threatening, but we’ll need to keep him overnight at least and see how things progress. If you’d like to come see him, I’m sure he’d appreciate it. Visiting hours are until 6pm tonight. Thank you._ **

 

_ What happened? He was fine yesterday! Oh god… did he try something again? Or was it the mysterious ‘He’ guy? I told him he was safe….I told him nothing would hurt him…. Fuck, fuck, fuck!  _ Levi ran to his car and made his way to the hospital at full speed. He rushed into the building, going straight to a nurses station. “I’m trying to find Eren Jaeger? I just received a call this morning that he was here. My name is Levi Ackerman.” 

 

The nurse looked up, bored. In a nasally voice she responded, “Are you family?” 

 

Levi’s eyes narrowed as he stared down at her. “I’m the closest thing he’s got right now. Now if you’d ever so kindly tell me where I can find him, it would be greatly appreciated.” The nurse rolled her eyes and clicked away at her keyboard, finding Eren’s room and giving it to Levi. He thanked her and took off down the hall. 

 

Slowing as he arrived outside the door, his hand hovered over the door handle. Part of him was scared of what he would find. His thoughts had been running away with him since he had listened to the message. Just as he went to turn the knob, a nurse walked up. 

 

“You must be Mr. Ackerman? They told us you might come by. Just so you aren’t caught off guard, Mr. Jaeger is still unconscious. He was brought in around 8:30 this morning after his car went off the road and collided with a tree. He has some cuts, a broken rib, two bruised ribs, and a concussion. Provided he wakes up soon, there is no reason he can’t be released fairly quickly. But for now, it’s just a waiting game.”

 

Levi was relieved to hear what had happened.  _ Thank god...it wasn’t self inflicted...and it wasn’t some crazy person coming after him...This I can handle...As long as he wakes up soon that is… _ Levi thanked the nurse and entered the room, closing the door softly behind himself. 

 

He glanced around, taking in his surroundings. The stark white of the room contrasted with the small, tanned body lying in the bed. Even pale, Eren was still fairly tanned. He watched the heart monitor, grateful for the steady beep that confirmed that the boy was alive. Eren’s face was covered in cuts and bruises, the cuts continuing down his chest and, from what Levi could tell, onto his arms. Levi stood just watching the rise and fall of his chest for what seemed like an eternity. 

 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner kid… I should have picked you up this morning… I hope you know I wasn’t mad at you for asking about her.” Levi pulled a chair up beside the bed. Sitting down, he leaned on the bed and grasped Eren’s hand. Levi glanced at the clock on the wall -- 11:30. “How long are you gonna sleep, brat? You need to wake up soon.” A strangled chuckle passed Levi’s lips. “You’re sleeping the day away, you know… what a lazy brat… skipping class for a nap…”

 

Sadness overcame Levi as he looked over Eren’s various injuries. His bruised face, his small chest wrapped tight. Something about the sight reminded him of Isabel. His mind drifted back to the previous morning and the conversation they'd had. He remembered that Eren had liked his singing. And the song seemed appropriate somehow.  _ I want to sing it for him… even if he can't hear it. Not that I want him to, this is just for me. But… Maybe it will help him wake up…  _

 

“I know I said not to get used to my singing, but… you seem to have good taste in music… want me to sing you the rest of that song?” 

 

_ À la claire fontaine, _

_ M'en allant promener _

_ J'ai trouvé l'eau si belle _

_ Que je m'y suis baigné _

 

_ Il y a longtemps que je t'aime _

_ Jamais je ne t'oublierai _

 

_ Sous les feuilles d'un chêne, _

_ Je me suis fait sécher _

_ Sur la plus haute branche, _

_ Un rossignol chantait _

 

_ Il y a longtemps que je t'aime _

_ Jamais je ne t'oublierai _

 

_ Chante rossignol, chante, _

_ Toi qui as le cœur gai _

_ Tu as le cœur à rire, _

_ Moi je l'ai à pleurer _

 

_ Il y a longtemps que je t'aime _

_ Jamais je ne t'oublierai _

 

_ J'ai perdu mon amie, _

_ Sans l'avoir mérité _

_ Pour un bouquet de roses, _

_ Que je lui refusai. _

 

_ Il y a longtemps que je t'aime _

_ Jamais je ne t'oublierai _

 

_ Je voudrais que la rose, _

_ Fût encore au rosier _

_ Et que ma douce amie _

_ Fût encore à m'aimer. _

 

Levi passed the time talking about random things with plenty of comments about how Eren needed to wake up. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you… I know I said I would be, and I wasn’t.” Levi gasped and quickly stood when he felt Eren’s fingers weakly wrap around his hand. 

 

In a small, raspy voice Eren tried to talk. “It’s not your fault, you know.” He coughed, and his face instantly scrunched up in pain, a strangled cry escaping as he tried to curl in on himself.

 

“Hey now, don’t move too much kid. You’ve got a broken rib; it’s gonna smart for a bit.” Levi pressed the button on the side of the bed to call for a nurse. He gently squeezed Eren's hand reassuringly. “We'll get a nurse in here, and they can take a look at you and get you all fixed up, okay?” 

 

Eren nodded, pain still etched on his face. He held Levi’s hand with as much strength as he could muster, a hint of panic rising in his voice.”You're not leaving right….?” 

 

Just then, the nurse walked in and answered the question for Levi.  “Actually sweetie, he is. I need him to step outside so we can check you over.” Levi heard Eren's heart rate elevate rapidly and turned his full attention back to the boy after shooting a look that could kill at the nurse who had tried to kick him out. 

 

He carefully brushed Eren's hair out of his face, looking him straight in the eyes. “I said I wouldn't leave you, didn't I? Don't you trust me, kid?” Levi was relieved when he heard Eren's racing heart begin to return to normal. 

 

The nurse tried to insist again that Levi needed to leave, but he was having none of that. “Look, I'm staying whether you like it or not. I made a promise, and I don't intend to break it.” The nurse looked to Eren for a final say in the matter. Eren weakly nodded a confirmation; he didn't want Levi to leave. “See? Patient says I stay. So I'm staying.” He walked around to the other side of the bed so he would be out of the nurse’s way and defiantly sat down on the edge of the bed, holding Eren’s hand in his lap. 

 

Begrudgingly, the nurse went about her checks, making various notes in Eren’s chart. She then used a small needle to add something to the IV that was hanging by the bed. “That should help with any pain you have. The doctor should be in to see you soon. Provided he is happy with what he sees, you should be able to go home tomorrow morning.”

 

After a few minutes, Levi noticed Eren’s heart rate dropping slightly and his breaths growing shallower. He'd have to ask about that when the doctor came in. Maybe it was a side effect of the pain medication? Regardless, Eren looked comfortable as he faded in and out of sleep. 

 

The doctor came into the room around 2:00 pm for an update. He didn't seem concerned about the heart rate or his respiration rate, so Levi decided to catalog that note with all his other various Eren notes. Just before leaving, the overly joyful doctor announced that Eren would be discharged in the morning and that they would be giving him a prescription for Demerol for any pain while his broken rib was healing.

 

Eren refused to release Levi’s hand the entire time the doctor was in the room. Levi had scanned the doctor looking for any reason why such a jovial being would cause Eren distress, but could find none.  _ Maybe he just doesn’t like doctors? I guess that wouldn’t be too far fetched…. _ After the offending doctor left the room, the boy’s weak grip on his hand loosened, and he appeared to be much more relaxed again. “Care to share what on earth happened?” Levi probed. 

 

“I-I’m not sure...I was trying to get to class because I needed to tell you something...But I can’t remember what it was...then...I can’t remember….I just remember that it hurt and then everything went black…” Levi watched as Eren’s brow wrinkled as he tried to force himself to remember the accident. He gently poked the boy’s forehead and chuckled. 

 

“Easy now, don’t think too hard, or you might start steaming. Plus it’s probably better that you don’t remember the accident. They can be traumatic events that can trigger attacks. I’d rather not have to deal with that while you have a broken rib.” He moved his hand, softly running his fingers through the boy’s hair. “I’m just glad that you’re alright. Try not to do that again, got it kid? Plus I missed class for you, so you owe me now.” Levi felt bad for that comment as Eren’s eyes filled with guilt. 

 

_ I made him miss class? Oh no… He shouldn’t be here then… but… I don’t want him to leave… _ Eren looked down, picking at the scabs on his arms. He stopped when Levi laid a hand over his own and looked back up at him. 

 

“Hey now, none of that. You’re going to make them bleed. How about you try to rest some more? You’ve been through a lot today, and I’m sure you could use the sleep”    
  
Eren’s eyes widened, a hint of fear crossing his visage. “I… I don’t want to sleep…I’m really not tired. I mean, I did sleep all morning, you know.” He forced a small laugh, trying to avoid the idea and sleep all together. 

 

Levi’s sharp eyes didn’t miss the change in the boy’s expression. ‘’Oh, really?” Levi took Eren’s chin in his hand and tilted his head up meeting his eyes. “And that’s why you have dark enough circles under your eyes to be a raccoon for halloween? What’s really going on? Why don’t you want to sleep? It will help you heal faster.” 

 

Eren’s eyes fell, trying to avoid Levi’s gaze. “It’s...It’s just been a rough week. T-that’s all… I just don’t feel like it.” 

 

Levi stepped back and crossed his arms. “Riiiiggghhhttt.... Because, you know, whenever I haven’t slept in lord knows how long and then drive my car into a tree, break a rib, get my face smashed in, and have to be high on painkillers, I totally don’t have sleep high on the priorities list.” Levi shot Eren a scathing look then raised an eyebrow at him. “So how about you tell me what the real reason is. Because you’re coming up with shit for excuses.” 

 

Eren tensed. He felt like he was being backed into a corner. He still wasn’t sure if he was ready for Levi to know about the dark things that plagued him in his sleep. 

 

“I just…” Eren took a deep breath, trying to force out the words. “Occasionally have… Nightmares I guess…” A faint blush appeared amidst all the bruises on his face as he timidly looked up to gauge Levi’s reaction to what he had just admitted. He was surprised to see a faint look of concern.

 

_ I knew it was something like that… Why else would he have a panic attack while he was asleep? Only something like a nightmare could trigger that. And that would explain the terrible sleeping patterns.… What could be so horrible that it’s causing all this?  _ “Okay... Care to share what they’re about?” Levi sat on the edge of the bed and waited for a response from the boy beside him. 

 

_ No. No, I don’t care to share. What is this? Elementary school show and tell day? _ “Just some stupid shit about my piece of shit dad…” Eren tried to play it off like it didn’t matter, leaving his answer vague enough that he didn’t feel like he had shared his darkness, but enough that hopefully Levi would accept his answer and drop it. 

 

Levi repressed the urge to ask more questions. He could tell that that was all Eren would willingly share for now.  _ That’s disconcerting… Most people don’t have nightmares about their parents unless A) they were brutally murdered before their eyes, or B) their parents were abusive pieces of shit who didn’t deserve to have children in the first place. My money's on option B since he even said ‘piece of shit dad’. Hmm… I wonder if he’s --- _ Levi froze in realization as he pieced the puzzle together on his own.  _ The “he” that Eren is so terrified of is his father. He saw his father and is now scared for his life… Fucking hell.  _ He knew that eventually the topic would have to be addressed, but he let it go for now. 

The two talked about various subjects as the afternoon dragged on. Just after six, a nurse came in and let Levi know that he would have to leave as visiting hours were over. Levi informed her that he would be staying and Eren confirmed. Frustrated, the nurse left the two alone. After a while longer, Eren started to yawn. Levi could tell he would be passing out soon whether he wanted to or not.  _ If I want to get a shower or anything I need to go now… I don’t really want to leave him alone if he falls asleep… Not after what he told me. Especially not if I’m right.  _ Looking at his watch he tried to figure out how long he would need to be gone.  _ It’s ten now, so grab food at home, take a quick shower, change clothes, pick up some homework…. 45 minutes? An hour at most.  _

 

“Hey kid, I really need to run home and pick up some homework, take a shower, small stuff like that. I promise I’ll be back in an hour or less. Will you be okay for that long?” Watching Eren, he tried to look for any signs that this was a bad idea. He already knew the brat had a knack for skirting around the truth if he thought it made things easier on others.  

 

Eren knew that he couldn’t continue to monopolize all of Levi’s time, but he really didn’t like the idea of him leaving. Looking down at the plain blanket over him, he responded as unemotionally as possible. “Of course, why wouldn’t I be? Go take care of yourself, I’ll just wait here for you.”

 

Levi reached over and gave Eren’s hand a quick squeeze, prompting the boy to look up. “I’ll be back within an hour, I promise.” With that, Levi quickly made his way over to the door, shooting a concerned look back at Eren before slipping out of the room. 

 

Eren laid in the cold room, listening to the sound of his own heart beat on the monitor, the rhythmic noise doing nothing to help him fight off the exhaustion that was quickly bearing down on him. He wished he had his phone to play on; that would keep him awake. Staring at the clock, he watched the minutes tick by.  _ 10:30… Levi should be back soon… I’ll be fine once he gets back. We can talk and I’ll stay awake and everything will be fine.  _ He yawned again, wincing at the pain that shot through him as his lungs expanded. His vision blurred as he stared at the clock.  _ 10:45… just a little longer... _ this was a losing battle however. The room faded as sleep took him. 

 

Levi slipped back into the room at 10:55 and sighed, noticing that Eren had already succumbed to his exhaustion.  _ Somehow I knew that would happen… I should have left a little earlier. He looks peaceful though, so maybe it’s okay. _ Levi settled into the chair by the bed and closed his eyes to get some rest himself. No sooner had he dozed off than Levi heard the heart monitor start picking up. Quickly getting up and going to Eren’s side, he evaluated the situation. The boy was trembling in his sleep, his breaths coming quickly. He knew he couldn’t hold Eren like he normally did, or he would hurt him, so he improvised. 

 

Levi took Eren’s hand in his own. Kneeling on the bed, he hovered over the boy, gently touching his forehead to Eren’s and supporting his weight with his free arm. He tried to be close enough to be comforting but not harmful. “Hey, shhh, Eren come on, it’s just a dream kid. It can’t hurt you, you’re safe, I’m right here, shhhh….” He focused on trying to calm the boy down. He wasn’t struggling to breath quite yet; Levi hoped he could calm him before it got to that point. 

 

Levi’s chest tightened in anger when he noticed that the broken boy beneath him was crying in his sleep. He didn’t know what was going on in that head of his, but if it was bad enough to cause this then someone deserved some pain. He paused his words of comfort when Eren choked out cries for help. “No, please,” a strangled sob escaped the frail boy beneath him. “No, it hurts, stop... “ Levi felt helpless, all he could do was listen and keep trying to calm the boy in his sleep. The pain and desperation in his voice was too much. His fears were confirmed with the next cry from Eren’s lips as he began to gasp for air. “Daddy, no, please….stop it…” 

 

Levi knew he had to wake Eren up and fast. It wouldn’t be good if he got too far into an attack. Levi pulled back. Grasping Eren’s shoulders, he shook him gently. “Eren, Eren come on, wake up kid, it’s just a dream, come back to me, okay? You’re safe, I promise you’re safe.” Eren’s eyes snapped open, full of fear and pain. He gasped for air, eyes darting around the room like he was looking for someone before landing on Levi’s face. 

 

“L-Levi...W-what…” He tried to talk but couldn’t get the words out, his face twisting in pain from his broken and bruised ribs.

 

“Shhh, just breathe now kid, just breathe. You can talk later. You’re safe, just breathe. I’ll call the nurse. We’ll get you some more painkillers, you’re okay.” Levi felt relief wash over him as the boy’s breathing slowly returned to normal and his trembling subsided. He pressed the button to call the nurse and requested more pain medication for the boy as he was clearly in pain again. The nurse nodded and was shortly back with a syringe. They must have given him more than they had previously as Eren fell back asleep shortly after. Levi watched again as his heart rate fell, his breathing becoming more shallow.  _ I really don’t like how that looks...Something doesn’t feel right...I just can’t put my finger on it… _

 

The next morning, Levi helped Eren with his discharge paperwork, and they were finally free of the sterile room. Eren protested at having to be pushed out the door in a wheelchair, but it was hospital policy so he had no choice. Levi was thankful he had parked close enough to the door that he could retrieve the Q7 while keeping Eren in his sights as he sat by the door with a nurse. Once back, he gingerly helped Eren into the passenger seat, helped him buckle his seatbelt, then got into his own seat, and they were heading back to Eren’s apartment. 

 

On the way, they stopped by the pharmacy to pick up the prescription of Demerol. Eren tried to read the label, but his vision once again blurred. Feeling frustrated, he let the bottle fall to his lap. He had finally remembered what had happened the previous morning but hadn’t told Levi.  _ My vision was blurry then too… I couldn’t see the car in front of me; I only barely missed them. It would have been worse if I’d involved someone else. I can’t tell Levi that’s what happened though. I don’t want him to worry or something… _

 

Levi glanced over at the boy after hearing the bottle of pills fall. “You okay there, kid? You don’t have to throw them you know, they’re not going to bite.”  A small smile crossed his face when he heard a small chuckle from the brunette next to him. 

 

“Very funny, of course I know that. They just slipped is all.” Eren stared down at his lap. He didn’t want to look at Levi; his current inability to focus would tip him off that something was wrong. Pulling up to the apartment complex around 12:00, Levi helped Eren out of the car and picked up both of their bags. Levi unlocked the door and motioned for Eren to go in first. The boy gingerly sunk into the couch, trying to jostle his injured ribs as little as possible. 

 

Retrieving a glass of water from the kitchen, Levi handed Eren a small white tablet. “Take this. The hospital said to take it once you were home.” Eren took the medication, paying no attention to it, and swallowed, chasing it with water. Levi sat next to the boy and started working on his remaining homework as the brunette played around on his phone. Before long, Eren leaned against Levi. The raven haired man sighed softly. “Eren, lay on the arm of the couch, not me. I’m trying to get some work done.” When no response came, he turned his head to check on the small body against him.  _ Oh… He fell asleep. I guess that has something to do with the Demerol? I suppose this happened in the hospital too... _ Levi moved to check Eren’s pulse, curious if his heart rate had dropped again as well. Sure enough, he felt a much slower heart rate than would be normal for a sleeping individual, and Eren’s breath was shallow.  _ I need to do some research on this once I’ve finished my own work… I really don’t think that should be happening, but the doctor wasn’t concerned about it at all… _

 

Glancing at his watch, Levi realized how late it had gotten.  _ 6:30… I should try to figure out something for dinner...He definitely needs to eat.  _ Not finding anything worth cooking in the small apartment, Levi opted to order take out. He ordered a pizza from his phone and then went back to work, waiting for it to be delivered. A knock at the door signaled that dinner had arrived at 7:00. Levi got up to answer the door. Paying the delivery guy, he returned to the couch. 

 

_ Mmmm…. Is that pizza? Smells good… maybe I could try to eat some…  _ Eren slowly started to wake, rubbing his tired eyes. “You ordered food?” Levi nodded as he handed Eren a plate with a small piece of pizza on it. 

 

“Yeah, I hope that's alright? I figured you probably wouldn’t be too happy with me if you woke up and I was gone, so I had food brought to us instead. I gave you the smallest piece, so at least try to eat a little. You probably shouldn't be taking pain meds on an empty stomach anyway.”

 

_ It smells really good, but I just don’t feel hungry.. I should probably try though… Levi already bought it so..  _ Eren nibbled at the pizza, managing to finish his small piece. Levi offered another, but he politely refused. “I think I really just want to take a shower and go to bed… Are you going to be going home?”

 

Shaking his head, Levi stood and went to put the remaining food away. “No, I planned to stay. I’m just going to sleep on the couch, just to make sure everything is okay, unless you want me to go?” Eren shook his head, a faint blush coloring his cheeks.

 

“N-no you’re okay, you can stay if you want. I’ll get you a pillow and some blankets.” Eren went and retrieved the items. As he came back into the room, Levi noticed the pained expression that had returned to his face. 

 

“Hey take it easy, don’t hurt yourself okay?” Eren nodded and headed off to take a shower. When he returned, he grabbed the bottle of Demerol and his phone.

 

“Can I get you anything before I go to bed?” 

 

“No, I can fend for myself, kid. Thanks though. I’ll check on you periodically but just call if you need me.” Levi settled back on the couch with his homework and continued on. 

 

The brunette headed off to bed.  _ Hm...it's already nine...at least there isn’t school to deal with tomorrow since it’s Saturday.  _ Eren carefully slid into bed. He took his normal four sleeping pills, then tried to read the prescription bottle so that he could take the demerol.  _ Take how many every 5 hours as needed for pain? I can’t make out the number…. _ he rubbed his eyes, trying to get them to focus.  _ I think that says two? Oh well, it can’t hurt anything, maybe Levi only gave me one earlier because he didn’t think I needed all of it.  _ He quickly downed the two pills and was soon out cold. 

 

_ 10:30… I should probably get some sleep… I’ll just check on Eren first though…  _ Levi quietly stuck his head in the door. Seeing the boy sleeping soundly, he headed back to the couch. Stretching out under a blanket, he started to doze off. 

 

_ Ugh… something isn’t right… I don’t feel right… _ Eren struggled to make his lungs fill with air. He could feel his body trembling, and it scared him.  _ Need to get to him… _ The boy tried to stand, but his limbs just wouldn’t support him. He tried to catch himself on the nightstand as he went down but only succeeded in taking the pills on the edge with him to the floor. Rolling over on his back, he continued to struggle for air.  _ Why… where am I… I can’t…  _ He shook his head in frustration, clutching at his chest.  _ I can’t remember... his name… help… please help… _ The brunette started to cry as he fought for air, barely hanging onto his consciousness.  _ Don’t … want … to .. die… save me…  _


	9. History Repeats Itself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for updates! 
> 
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He had barely fallen asleep when a loud thud came from the bedroom.  _ Eren…!  _  Levi lept off the couch and rushed to the source of the sound. He rushed to the boy’s side, immediately gathering him in his arms. “Eren, hey, calm down kid, it's okay, shhhh, I’ve got you, breathe, kid, just breathe.”  _ Shit, he’s like ice. Why is he so cold?  _  Levi kept rubbing the boy’s back, trying to calm him, but to no avail.  _ It's not working… what’s going on….  _ His eyes fell on the package of pills on the floor and the bottle of Demerol.  _ Fuck! This isn’t a panic attack, what the fuck was he thinking! You don’t take fucking sleeping pills with painkillers!  _

 

He continued to hold Eren, trying to comfort him as he struggled to get his phone out of his pocket. Dialing 911, he continued muttering words of comfort until the dispatcher picked up.

 

“911, what’s your emergency?”

 

“I need an ambulance to 104 Titan Drive ASAP. I have a 19-year-old male who has taken Unisom sleeping tabs and Demerol pain medication at the same time. I don’t know how much he took of either of them, but he’s struggling to breathe, is cold to the touch, and is losing consciousness.” 

 

“Understood sir, I’ve dispatched a response team, and they are heading your way now. Please stay on the line until they’ve arrived.”

 

“Thank you, I’m putting you on speaker so I can set the phone down.”

 

Levi punched the button for speaker phone and let his phone fall to the floor. He laid Eren down flat in hopes that it would help him breathe, growing more panicked as Eren’s breathing became even shallower. He started to have flashbacks to Isabel. The 911 call, her cold body in his arms, the paramedics taking her away, the verbose doctor who had to bring the news.  _ Fuck! No. Not this time. Help will get here in time. Calm down, Levi. You can’t help if you’re not calm.  _

 

Eren was crying as he laid on the floor, his eyes wide with fear. “C-can’t … b-breathe… h-help…” His gasps for air rattled him, and he closed his eyes in pain. 

 

“Hey, shhhh, it's okay, it’s all going to be okay, I’ve got help on the way, they’ll be here any minute.” Levi’s heart stopped when the boy’s gasping for air ceased. “Fuck!” Levi thought back to the first aid training he had decided to take after what had happened with Isabel. He immediately started to give Eren CPR.  _ Okay, umm clear airway, check. Pinch nose, mouth to mouth breathing, two rescue breaths, 30 chest compressions… _ he cycled through the steps in his head as he worked. Moments later, the paramedics burst through the door. Levi yelled out to them so they could find the pair at the back of the apartment. “He stopped breathing altogether less than 90 seconds ago. I’ve been giving him CPR -- so far, no response.”

 

The paramedics thanked him for the information and pushed Levi out of the way to go to work. They immediately replenished Eren’s air supply using a bag valve. Lifting him to the stretcher, they rushed him out, Levi close behind. He jumped into the ambulance with them, and they sped off to Shiganshina General. “He mixed Unisom and Demerol, I don’t know how much.”    
  
The paramedic nodded and pulled an IV from the supply, quickly running it to a vein. He then injected it with some kind of solution. Levi held onto Eren's cold hand, rubbing the back of it with his thumb. For the first time in years, he was scared.  _ He's got to be okay; I don't know what I’d do without him around anymore… Eren, I… _ Levi bit his lip, forcing back the tear that threatened to fall. 

 

Once at the hospital, everything started to blur.The paramedics asked him to get out of the ambulance so they could get to Eren. He obliged, standing out of their way. Rushing through the door with Levi right behind, the staff began to throw rapid fire questions at the paramedics. “Possible OD, interaction between Doxylamine and Meperidine. Administered Naloxone Hydrochloride via IV en route.” As the team sped through the ER doors, Levi was stopped short. “I’m sorry sir, but you can’t go further than this. You’ll have to wait outside.”

 

“No! I have to be with him! I'm all he's got right now!” Levi pressed his head against the now closed doors and slammed his fist against them. He stayed still for what felt like hours, praying they'd open the door and let him in, before a receptionist came to show him to the waiting room. The woman asked if she could get anything for him, but he simply brushed her off. He began pacing from one end of the empty room to the other as he waited for any kind of news. He tried to push down his fears, but the only thing going through his head was the last time he was in this situation. The doctor walking through the door, asking for Isabel’s family, the fake apology, there was nothing they could do. She had too much in her system. Tests indicated this had been an ongoing issue.  _ No. Not this time. Not him… _

Time passed slowly for Levi as he continued to pace. With each moment that passed, his thoughts drove him further into darkness. He was starting to question whether it would really be okay this time. What would he do if he didn’t walk out of here with Eren by his side?   _ I can’t think about that… I just have to keep calm, he isn’t Isabel, this isn’t eight years ago. Eren will be fine… _

 

After about an hour had passed, a doctor came into the waiting room. “Is anyone here for an Eren Jaeger?” Levi was across the room in less than two steps. 

 

“I’m here with Eren. What’s going on? How is he?” He attempted to keep his voice even as he threw questions at the doctor.

 

“We’ve gotten him stabilized. Thankfully, they were able to get the Naloxone Hydrochloride administered in time. Another few minutes, and it would have been too late for him. You should be very proud of yourself, young man. If you hadn’t been able to give the dispatcher and the paramedics the information you did, we wouldn't have been able to save him. He will have to stay overnight just to make sure that everything continues to function as it should, but I don’t see any reason why he won’t be able to go home tomorrow. We’re also running some tests, just standard issue stuff in a case like this. He’s sleeping, but you can see him if you’d like. Check with the nurses’ station to get his room location.”

 

Levi thanked the doctor and quickly made his way to the nurses station and got directions to Eren’s room. He had little difficulty finding it. Once there, he silently slipped into the room.  _ Twice in two days… Not particularly my idea of a good time, kid… Can we try to not be back tomorrow? _ He sighed as he made his way to the bed, his chest aching as he took in the boy’s appearance. Eren’s skin was pallid, his eyes sunken and dark. Levi carefully sat on the edge of the bed, holding Eren’s cold hand in his lap. “Shit, kid… quit scaring me like this… I swear you’re taking years off my life.” Reaching over, he gently stroked his cheek. He carefully leaned over the boy’s frail body and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. 

 

Eren stirred beneath him. Levi quickly sat back up, trying to not get caught in the act.  _ What….? Levi… did he just… huh. That was…. nice?  _ Eren slowly blinked as he tried to focus, his eyes searching the room before landing on Levi. A small smile appeared on his face. “Levi… You’re here.” 

 

Once again, relief washed over Levi once he could see those beautiful eyes again.  _ Oh thank god, he’s okay… He woke up, so it will be okay.  _ “Of course I’m here, kid, where else would I be? You think I’d let those paramedics run off with you without me?”

 

“What happened? I don’t remember much… I remember feeling… Not right. Then I tried to get up to get you, but then I fell…. After that, it all gets kinda fuzzy….” Eren’s brow wrinkled as he tried to remember but failed. 

 

“I heard you fall and came to check on you. I found you on the floor struggling to breathe. I thought you were having a panic attack so I tried to calm you down like I normally do, but it wasn’t helping. Then I saw the pills on the floor.” Levi shot Eren a pointed look. “Then, I called 911. You stopped breathing altogether. I did CPR, then the paramedics arrived. They worked their magic, and here we are.” 

 

Eren looked away, nervous that Levi had noticed the Unisom. “Looks like you saved me again, huh? Thank you…” 

 

Levi squeezed Eren’s hand gently, “Well… I couldn’t just leave you there...Not when it was within my power to do  _ something. _ ”

 

At that point, the doctor walked in with the blood test results. “Mr. Jaeger, we’ve got your blood results back.” The doctor shot a questioning look at Levi. “Would you like him to be present for this?”

 

_ I’m too tired to remember anything important, and Levi knows the whole situation as is...  _ “I want him to stay, please.” 

 

“Very well. Your results came back with twice the suggested dosages of both Doxylamine and Meperidine. Even in normal doses, these two drugs have very serious interactions. You’re very lucky to still be here, Mr. Jaeger. You should be thanking this man here for having the common sense and level headedness that he had. He saved your life.”

 

Levi had stopped listening after he heard how much of the drugs was in Eren’s system.  _ I am not doing this again. I will not lose someone else I love to a drug problem. I refuse.  _ He tersely thanked the doctor for the information before turning to Eren, eyes narrowed in anger. He waited to speak until he heard the door shut behind the doctor. “Why? Just tell me why you did it. Were you trying to kill yourself? Or are you just that stupid?” Levi’s grip on Eren’s hand tightened as he fought to keep his anger in check. 

 

_ Oh no… He’s angry… “ _ I-I’m sorry….I- I just… I couldn’t sleep so I bought the Unisom… and ...I didn’t think a few extra would hurt… but… I… I still had the nightmares. Only then I couldn't wake up… So that's why I was so tired… and irritable I guess… and there were a lot of times that my vision blurred and I couldn’t see… t-that's what happened yesterday with the wreck… then when I went to take the Demerol…” Eren started to cry as he explained what had been going on for the last week. “I couldn’t read the label because everything was blurry. I could have sworn it said to take two… I wasn't trying to…” He hiccuped as he tried to catch his breath through the tears. “I-I’m sorry Levi! I’m so sorry!” Eren pulled his hand from Levi’s and pulled the blanket up over his face, hiding his distress. 

 

Levi’s anger slowly faded as he watched the scene before him unfold. He could see how exhausted Eren was and how much the week had weighed on him. Deciding that comforting the boy was the most important thing now, Levi shifted so that he was lying next to Eren. Pulling the blanket off the boy’s face, Levi pulled Eren’s head against his chest and stroked his hair. “Hey now, shhhh. Just breathe Eren, you’re okay. I understand. I wish you had just told me is all. I could have helped.”

 

_ I guess…. I never realized… Since I met him he’s done nothing but help me… Why did I not think to ask him…  _ Eren turned, burying his face in Levi’s chest, small hiccups escaping as he attempted to quell his tears. “L-Levi…” he whispered into Levi’s firm chest. “Will you help me… please? I know it’s late to be asking now, but...”

 

Levi wrapped his arms around the boy, careful to avoid the IV. “Of course, all you had to do was ask.” He softly kissed the top of the brunette’s head and rubbed circles on his back. A small smile found it's way to his face as he felt Eren’s breathing level out as he fell asleep in Levi’s arms.  _ I really do care about him…  _ Resting his head on Eren’s, Levi whispered his newfound revelation now that the boy was asleep. “I think I love you, kid…” Dozing off, he continued to hold his brat, thankful for each rise and fall of the boy’s chest.

 

After being discharged  _ again, _ Levi took Eren home. Once the boy settled on the couch with his bundle of blankets, Levi brought back a glass of water and handed it to Eren. With a pointed look, he handed the brunette a single Demerol. “Now, let’s try to stay within the dosage parameters this time, shall we? Also, no more sleeping pills for a while. Or ever, preferably. We’ll figure something out.” 

 

Eren took the pill with an embarrassed look. “I’ve noticed that anytime I’ve fallen asleep near you, I don’t have a single nightmare...I don’t know if that helps us figure out anything or not…”

 

“Well that’s something, I suppose. I can't very well just sleep over every night though.  Let's see what else we can come up with.” After making sure that Eren was settled in his nest of blankets on the couch, Levi started to gather his things. 

 

“You're leaving…?” Eren asked quietly, checking the time on his phone.  _ It's only 1:30… I thought for sure he'd stay a little later… I'm sure he has better things to do than sit around with me… What was I thinking… He's only stuck around because I keep getting hurt.  _

 

_ “ _ I need clothes, you know. I can't wear the same thing for three days straight. It's disgusting.”  _ I know I just said that I can't spend every night here, but did he really think I would just up and leave after he almost died less than 15 hours ago?  _ He ruffled the boy’s hair and headed for the door. “You'll be okay for the next couple of hours at least. I'll be back soon. I promise. Also, I’m making a copy of your key. It was…tedious... to have to pick the lock last time I needed to get to you when you were incapacitated.”

 

Eren felt relieved once Levi confirmed that he would be back. He had been alone for so long... He didn’t want to be alone anymore after spending so much time with Levi over the last two weeks. “Okay, I’ll wait up for you then.” He shot Levi a dazzling smile. “Be safe!”  

 

“When am I not, kid?”  _ Shit, he’s fucking adorable… It won’t be hard to hurry back to you if you keep smiling at me like that…  _ With that, Levi departed, and Eren was left alone with his thoughts. 

 

Eren sighed and snuggled up under his blankets more.  _ I like having Levi around… He’s warm… and everything just seems less…. suffocating when he’s near…  _ thinking back to the hospital, he remembered the kiss from Levi. Rubbing his forehead, he could still feel the warmth from Levi’s soft lips.  _ I don’t know why he sticks around though… He could do a lot better… I doubt he’d kiss me if he didn’t have feeling behind it… He just doesn’t seem like that kind of person… I mean… He’s … well he’s beautiful… and I’m not. I’m fucked up. If he knew what dad did to me… how many times I was used…. I’m worthless….  _ Eren struggled with his ambivalent feelings. Levi made him overwhelmingly happy. But at the same time, his heart sank as he imagined how quickly the beautiful man would leave him if he knew the truth.  

 

His thoughts continued in a downward spiral as time passed. Eren’s phone pinged at him as a text came in.

**Levi: Hey I’ll be back in about 20 minutes. Do you need anything? Hungry?**

**Eren: I’m not really hungry…**

 

**Levi: Too bad, you’re gonna eat. What do you want?**

 

**Eren: But Leviiiiii I’m not hungry >_>**

 

**Levi: Don’t care. I’m bringing chinese back.**

 

**Eren: Fine. I like egg rolls I think.**

 

**Levi: You’re gonna have to eat more than egg rolls kid. I’m bringing chicken fried rice too. That should be easy enough on your stomach.**

 

**Eren: Whatever you say… Thanks… See you soon :)**

  
  


The brunette boy started to stress as it sunk in that Levi would be back soon.  _ He’s going to figure out what happened… Then he’s going to hate me… I’m dirty. He’s going to leave. I won’t be able to eat either, and he’ll be mad about that too…   _ Eren felt his chest start to tighten, his thoughts spiraling out of control.  _ No, I can’t have an attack now. Levi won’t want to deal with me like this. Not after everything he’s had to put up with the last two days.  _ He started to gasp for air, biting his thumb to try and ground himself, thinking pain would pull him out of it.  He had no such luck. Curling up tighter in his blankets, he resigned himself to the outcome.  _ I’m just stuck here, unable to breathe until I pass out. Great. _ Trembling while he tried to keep breathing as long as possible, Eren jumped when he heard the door open. 

 

As Levi walked in the door, the first thing he saw was a wide-eyed Eren staring in his direction. He rushed to the shaking boy, depositing the food on the coffee table, and turned all his attention to Eren. “Hey, what happened? Shhhhh. Eren you’re okay, just breathe.” Levi sat next to the boy and pulled him into his arms, rubbing circles on his back with one hand and running his fingers through the brunette’s hair with the other. “Shhhh… You’re safe, Eren, just breathe. Inhale, exhale.” He continued comforting the boy until his breathing returned to normal. Despite the breathing, the shaking didn’t cease. Levi felt a pang in his chest when he realized that the frail boy in his arms had started to cry. 

 

Levi lifted Eren’s face and wiped the tears away. “Hey now, you’re okay. I’m here now. What happened? Let me help you, kid.” Eren’s eyes filled with fear. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but you’ll feel better if you talk about it. It’s easier to deal with things if you’re not the only one handling the problem. Just know I’m here for you. You asked for my help, and I’m here to give it.” 

 

Eren nodded and buried his face back into Levi’s chest. “I know…” he mumbled.  _ He smells so good… Clean, he smells clean. Everything just doesn’t matter anymore when he’s here…. Why was I so worried earlier…  _

 

“I know you’re comfy there and all, but I’m hungry, and you need to eat, too.” Levi carefully pulled away and reached for the food. He set Eren’s box of fried rice and egg rolls in his lap, then handed him utensils. “Just try to eat, okay? You really do need to get some better eating habits. You worry me, you know…”

 

Eren took a small bite of an egg roll as he stared at his lap. “I’m sorry… You shouldn’t worry about me… I’m not worth it.”

 

Setting aside his own food, Levi turned to Eren. He took his chin in hand, forcing him to meet his gaze. “You are worth every bit of it. Don’t tell yourself otherwise. Do you understand me?”

 

The boy’s eyes began to water, nodding his head. “Y-yeah...I understand…”

 

Levi nodded in affirmation before returning to his own food. The duo finished their meal in silence.  Eren managed to eat about half of the food. Levi put the rest in the fridge for a meal the following day. “How about you go take a shower, and I’ll finish cleaning up out here?”

 

Eren nodded and wandered off to oblige. After his shower, he came back to the living room, leaning up against the door frame in a pair of boxers and a baggy sweatshirt.  _ Fucking hell… He’s trying my restraint… the damn brat is too fucking cute for his own good…  _ “I assume you’re ready for bed now?” 

 

Eren nodded, lingering in the doorway. “W-would you sit with me until I fall asleep….”

 

_ FUCK.  _ Levi struggled to reign in his wayward thoughts. “Of course, let’s make sure you get your Demerol too… The right dosage though. You go ahead and go to bed, I’ll be back in a minute.”  Eren nodded, turning and walking back to the room.  _ Does he fucking sashay those hips on purpose? The things I would like to do to that ass of his…. _ Levi shook his head as he went to the kitchen to get water.  _ Okay, Levi, get your shit together. The kid has issues we have to deal with first. Plus he’s injured. You can’t fuck an injured person. They won’t enjoy it, thus defeating the purpose of sex.  _ Levi continued to talk himself down as he walked back to the bedroom with the pill and the water. He froze when the bed was in his line of sight.  _ You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.  _ Eren was laid out face down, hugging a pillow to his chest.  _ It’s like he doesn’t even know how tempting that ass is…  _ “Here, sit up, you need to take this so that you don’t end up waking up in the middle of the night in pain.” 

 

Eren took the pill and downed it with the water. Setting the empty glass on the nightstand, he turned and crawled toward the middle of the bed, then laid down.

 

_ No. No touch. Control yourself, Levi. You are a grown man, god dammit. You don’t lose your cool just because a beautiful kid is crawling around on all fours in front of you.  _ Levi sat on the edge of the bed and leaned against the headboard. Crossing his arms, he looked over at the boy next to him. “Do you need anything else, or do you think you can sleep now?”

 

The brunette shook his head and curled up against Levi. The raven haired man stiffened for a moment before wrapping an arm around the boy. “I’m not sure I’m that comfortable to sleep on, you know. I’m sure a pillow would be better.”

 

“No, you’re perfect. Thank you.” Eren nuzzled against Levi’s chest, enjoying the comforting smell.  _ I need to tell him… at least something. He deserves to know…  _ He struggled to open his mouth, voice coming out no more than a whisper. “Y-you wanted to know what happened earlier… I… I was thinking about everything I’ve been through the last 5 years… I-I’m tainted… M-my father was abusive after my mom died… It was.. Bad. Really bad... A-and my mom… sh-she killed herself… I found her on the bedroom floor with the gun in her hand… I still have nightmares about that… I was only 14 when it happened… The abuse was nearly too much to take… Then when I was 17, dad just vanished… I managed to get a job and save enough to move and get my own place… as far as I know, he doesn’t know where I am. I still think I see him around… I’m sure I’m just imagining it, but it scares me… That he’ll find me again... “ Eren trembled as he gripped Levi's shirt in his fist. 

 

Levi hugged the boy tighter, burying his face in his hair. “Thank you for telling me... “  _ I know there's more he isn't telling me. Tainted isn't a word you use if you were just beaten… He's so strong, though… To be through all that and still be here, pushing through school. Fighting. That's admirable. “ _ I won't let him touch you again, even if he does show up. You're safe now.” Before long, the trembling ceased, and Eren’s breathing leveled out. Levi kissed the top of the brunette’s head as he resigned himself to being there for the remainder of the night. “Goodnight kid…”

 

Levi woke before his alarm.  _ Thank goodness, I can let Eren sleep a bit longer…  _ Lifting Eren’s arm from around his waist, Levi tried to slide out from under the boy but stopped as his eyes fell on an angry red mark on Eren’s thumb.  _ The fuck… Is that a bite? He bit himself? Why…? _ Levi lifted the boy’s hand to his lips and softly kissed the wound.  _ I wish you wouldn’t hurt yourself… I’ll have to ask about this when you wake up…. _ After successfully sneaking out of bed, Levi made his way to the kitchen to start breakfast for the two of them.  He was thankful that he had the sense to get some groceries when he went out the previous afternoon. Gathering the needed supplies from the fridge, Levi went to work making eggs, bacon, and sliced strawberries.  _ If nothing else, the kid will eat the strawberries I’m sure.  _

 

He plated the food and set off for the bedroom with it. He set the plates down carefully on the night stand before maneuvering his way back into his spot on the bed.  _ Well, not my spot. Just where I was last night. It's his bed, I’m just here. I’m amazed he hasn’t woken up yet though.  _ Levi ran his fingers through the boy’s hair, planting a soft kiss on his forehead. “Hey Eren, it’s time to wake up. I’ve got breakfast for you, kid.”

 

Eren began to stir. Stretching his limbs, a soft moan escaped his lips.  _ Are you fucking kidding me…? Does he have  _ any _ idea how fucking sexy that sounds… _ Levi groaned internally as he picked up the plates, handing one to Eren. “Here. Eat.” He smiled at the quiet growl that came from the brunette’s stomach. “And don’t try to tell me you’re not hungry. I heard that.”

 

Eren could feel the blush heating his cheeks as he took the plate in embarrassment. “Th-thanks… It smells really good… You must be a good cook.” Eren poked at the egg before deciding to eat the bacon first instead. 

 

“I wouldn’t say that I’m good, but I know how to make sure I don’t die of starvation.” Just because he had grown up in a house that revolved around the culinary arts didn’t make him a good cook. He was just as good as the next person.  _ It was so silly that Papa and Maman insisted on cooking lessons.. ‘You have to embrace your heritage, dear.’ Psht, ridiculous….  _ Levi waited until Eren had eaten a decent amount of food before he decided to broach the subject of his hand. “So, Eren. Did anything happen last night when you had that attack? Did you do anything … different … than normal?”

 

The boy set his plate down on the bed beside him before looking back over to Levi. “I… I don’t think so? Why? Where is this coming from?” 

 

Levi set his own plate down and reached over, taking Eren’s injured hand in his own. “Well, you didn’t have this when I left yesterday,” he said as he rubbed his thumb over the bite marks. 

 

Eren stared at his hand in Levi’s, thinking before he spoke. “I didn’t want you to come back to me having another attack… So… I was trying to do something to pull myself out of it… The only thing I could think of was that pain might snap me out of it… So I bit myself…”

 

“Mhmm….And how did that work for you, hm?” Levi raised his eyebrows in feigned curiosity. He already knew the answer, but he wanted Eren to keep sharing. 

 

“Not very well…” Eren pulled his hand away and hugged it to his chest. “I wish there was a way to stop them on my own...I don’t want to keep troubling you…” 

 

“Hey now, you’re not trouble. When have I ever said that?” Wrapping an arm around the boy, he hugged him gently. “Trust me. I want to help you, so you’re not trouble. Now let’s get you your pain meds so that you can function without that rib of yours hurting.“

 

The two lazed around the apartment for the remainder of the day, Levi ensuring that Eren was caught up on his homework for class the next day. After dinner, Levi headed home once he knew that Eren was safely in bed. 

 

Monday and Tuesday passed with no issues. Levi picked Eren up for school each morning with something small for breakfast, the boy insisting on arguing that he wasn’t hungry and Levi insisting that not eating was not an option. A similar dance returned for an encore around lunch time. Eren never argued about Levi’s cooking for dinner, however. Each night, Levi would make sure the brunette was safely in bed before he departed for the night. 

 

Wednesday the routine continued until late that evening when the nightmares returned. Eren jolted awake, gasping for air as he fumbled for his cell phone.  _ Levi… gotta get Levi…  _ In that moment, he had never been more thankful for the favorites list on his phone as he punched the call button. He struggled to keep the phone up to his ear, hands shaking as he prayed for Levi to pick up.  _ Please… I need you… _

 

A small cry escaped him when he heard Levi’s voice pick up on the other end, voice filled with concern. “Eren? Are you okay?” As he fought for air, he tried to tell Levi what was wrong, but nothing more than a whimper escaped. Levi’s tone quickly changed to the low even tone that had brought Eren out of every other attack. “Hey, shhh. Breathe, Eren. You’re okay, just breathe. It was all just a dream, your father isn’t here. It’s just you and me. Breathe. Inhale, exhale.” Levi’s honey-like voice slowly talked Eren down.

 

Collapsing back into the bed, Eren took in the deepest breaths he could muster with his still-injured ribs. “Levi… Thank you… I don’t know how I survived these before you came along…” The boy rolled over and hugged his pillow to his chest.  _ I wish you were here though… but I could never say that aloud… _

 

Levi released all his tensed muscles when he finally heard Eren’s voice. He had been ready to run out the door to the boy’s side had the attack not subsided when it did.  _ It would be so much easier If I could just stay with him… But that’s not happening right now.  _ “Well, I’m glad I can help. Are you going back to sleep now?”

 

“Y-yeah… if I can that is… w-would you stay on the phone until I’m tired again...?” Levi felt a pang in his chest at the boy’s insecurity.  _ Eren… I’d stay on the phone with you forever if that’s what it took… _

 

“Of course. But you want to just sit here in silence?”  _ I don’t see how that will help him sleep… _

 

“That’s fine…. Just knowing you’re there is enough…” With that, Levi had an idea.  _ I can’t believe I’m even thinking of this… I must really fucking love this brat… _ Levi began to softly hum  _ A La Claire Fontaine _ , a small smile spreading across his face when he heard Eren’s quiet gasp on the other end of the phone before he sighed in content. After about five minutes, Levi heard soft snoring from the other end of the line. He chuckled softly, “Goodnight Eren, I love you…” Ending the call, Levi found his way into a peaceful sleep of his own. 


	10. Stolen Kisses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to Mars00135, thank you so much for your comments and support! You will definitely love what we have coming!
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> I apologize in advance for the heartbreak that is this chapter O.O
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> Love you all and your continued support!

The next two weeks passed in a blur. Levi was thankful that there were no more episodes to speak of. They had fallen into a comfortable routine. Levi drove them both to school, forcing Eren to down breakfast and lunch, cooking him dinner, then sending him off to bed. Occasionally, Levi would spend the night on the couch if it got too late, but he tried to avoid it if possible. 

 

Eren was finally done with his last class of the day on Friday. Since he had to wait for Levi before he could go home, Eren decided to go to the newspaper office to see if there were any new assignments for him. Walking into the office, his boss jumped up from her desk. “Eren! I’m so glad to see you! I just got a new assignment for you! Next month there will be a huge guest lecture for the pre-med students. I’d like you to cover the photos for the event.”

 

“Sure thing, who’s the lecturer? Must be some big whig if they’re making such a fuss about it this far out.”

 

“The guy’s name is Dr. Jaeger I think?” Eren’s blood ran cold at the name. “Hey isn’t that your last name? What a crazy coincidence!”

 

“W-what is his first name…? D-do you know?”

 

“Uhhhh….. Starts with...a G I think? Geisha? Or something like that. Hell if I know. It was a weird one.” 

 

“What day is the lecture….?”

 

“Like I said, next month, May 3rd. Will that be a problem?”

 

“Actually, you know what, I will be out of town that day, I’m so sorry! Maybe one of the other photographers will be available! I’ll be back in soon to see if there are any other new assignments, thanks!” Eren scrambled to get outside. He was struggling to breathe, he needed air.  _ Levi… I need Levi…  _ The boy stumbled down the sidewalk toward their regular meeting spot.  _ He should be there… He has to be there…  _ breaths coming in short gasps, Eren tripped over his own two feet, falling to his hands and knees. 

 

Levi had just gotten to their spot. He went to pull his phone out to text Eren when he heard a thud as someone fell. Normally he would ignore those around him, but something told him to look up.  _ Wait… Eren! _ Levi sprinted down the sidewalk. Kneeling in front of the brunette, he sat him up. 

 

“Eren, hey look at me.” The boy’s beautiful eyes were filled with tears and panic.  _ Who the fuck did this to him? I’m going to kill a fucker… He hasn’t had an attack at school in weeks! _ “Eren, breathe for me, come on, it's Levi, listen to me. Inhale, exhale, breathe.”  _ It's not working…. He can’t hear me… _ He took Eren’s face in his hands, forcing him to meet his eyes. The panic stricken gaze looked right through him.  _ He’s not there. I swear… We will be talking about this later… I’ll just shock him out of it, then.  _ Levi leaned in, closing the gap between the two of them. He softly touched his lips to Eren’s salty tear soaked ones, not caring who saw the two men on their knees kissing in the middle of the sidewalk, his only priority being Eren. Levi felt the tension in Eren’s body start to dissipate. Pulling away slowly, he kept his eyes locked on Eren’s. Gradually the boy came back to himself, a deep blush filling his cheeks as he registered what had just happened. 

 

Levi pulled the boy into a tight embrace and rubbed his back. “Thank god…. I couldn’t get you to calm down… It was like you weren’t even there anymore.” 

 

“Y-you… You kissed me….?” 

 

“It was the quickest way I could think of to get your attention.” Pulling away, Levi stood to his feet, carefully pulling Eren with him. “Can you make it to the car do you think? Or do you want to sit down and wait for a bit?” 

 

Eren shook his head, instantly regretting the sudden movement. Stumbling, he grasped onto Levi, his face flushing in embarrassment all over again. “I-I want to go home… J-just take me home…” The raven haired man wrapped a firm arm around Eren’s waist and helped him to walk as they made their way to the Q7 in the parking lot. 

 

Back at the apartment, Eren walked to the door, Levi following close behind in case the boy lost his balance again. Once they were both inside, Eren flopped face down on the couch. Levi watched him attentively. “Hey, I know it's only four, but do you want me to go ahead and make dinner? You can head to bed early if you want that way.” 

 

Rolling over on his side, Eren nodded in assent then watched Levi as he moved through the apartment. “Dinner sounds amazing…” The boy’s fingers found their way to his lips,  he could still feel the warmth of Levi’s lips on his own.  _ I wonder...He’s kissed me before… back in the hospital… I wonder if he means something by it… I wouldn’t mind doing that again… I can’t just walk up to him and kiss him though! What if I took it the wrong way, and he didn’t mean anything by it at all?  _ Eren continued to debate with himself. He was startled out of his thoughts when Levi leaned over the back of the couch and poked him on the forehead. 

 

“What are you thinking so hard about? You’re gonna start steaming again. I swear you do. I can just see it. You overthink things sometimes, you know?” The brunette turned bright red and pulled a pillow over his head to hide his face.  _ Heh, he’s so fucking cute. I hope I didn’t go too far kissing him earlier…  _ “Dinner will be ready by five. How about you go ahead and take a bath. Relax a bit...”

 

_ A bath does sound good right now…  _ Dragging himself from the couch, he headed to the bathroom. About 30 minutes later, he returned in another baggy sweatshirt and small shorts. Wandering into the kitchen, he hopped up on an empty counter, swinging his legs as he watched Levi work.  _ He's so beautiful… And his movement is so fluid, it's like he's dancing with every step he takes… I love how calm everything is when he's here. It's like the whole world stops and it's just the two of us for a while… I wonder… Is this…? Hm. _

 

Levi plated dinner and set it on the table, smirking as he watched Eren sit on the counter. “You coming down to eat or what?” Eren slid off the counter, stumbling as his feet hit the ground, Levi jumping to catch him. “Easy, kid. Foods not going anywhere. Be careful.”

 

Eren blushed as he made his way to the table.  _ Wow, this looks amazing.  _ Eren's mouth was already watering as he eyed the meal Levi had prepared. Chicken with some sort of creamy sauce, roasted vegetables, and mashed potatoes. Eren quickly sat and started to eat.  _ Holy. Fucking. Shit.  _ Eren moaned softly as he ate. “You are officially the best cook ever. Hands down. What is this anyway, the chicken stuff?”

 

Levi felt a twinge of pride at Eren’s compliment. “I'm glad you like it so much. It's just something I learned how to make growing up. Chicken provincial. Nothing terribly special.” 

 

“Not terribly special, my ass. This is fucking delicious.” By now, Eren had scarfed down most of the food on his plate. “You could seriously have your own restaurant I bet. Everything you've ever made me has been amazing.” The boy yawned and rubbed his eyes. “I think I'm ready for bed… After everything that happened today… would you stay with me till I fall asleep? Just in case…”

 

A small smile crossed Levi's face as he stood and began to clean up the remnants of dinner. “Of course, whatever I can do to help. Go ahead and go to bed, I'll be there soon. I need to finish cleaning the kitchen. I can't stand to leave a mess behind.”

 

After cleaning up, Levi made his way to the bedroom. Leaning against the doorframe, he watched the boy in silence. Eren was laying in the middle of the bed, knees curled up to his chest, eyes closed as if he were sleeping. Levi knew better though.  _ He’s so beautiful. I wish he saw that. I wish I could make all the mess in his head go away. He deserves better than this.  _ Sighing, he walked over to the bed and sat in his normal spot against the headboard, a small smile sneaking onto his face when Eren readjusted so that he was laying on Levi’s chest. He began to run his fingers through the messy brunette hair, partly for himself and partly because he had learned that the touch allowed Eren to fall asleep faster.

 

“I need to tell you something.... About today… M-my father… H-he’s coming to do a guest lecture at school for the pre-med students next month on the 3rd… Th-that’s why I had an attack… The newspaper asked me to cover it… I told them I’d be out of town…” Eren whimpered and buried his face into Levi’s chest. 

 

Levi’s hand froze. “Well then. I guess we’re going on a trip that day. I won’t let him touch you, Eren. I promise… You’re safe with me.” Not long after, the boy started to softly snore. Levi carefully removed himself from the bed and went off to the couch like normal, though his Eren Alert had come back to attention. 

 

_ Hm… It's only eight… I should try to get my work done before I try to go to sleep.  _ Levi finally finished with his homework around ten. After putting his books away, he laid out on the couch, staring up at the ceiling.  _ I haven’t heard anything, so I know that Eren is sleeping alright. I should be fine to go to sleep too.  _ Closing his eyes, he quickly fell into a peaceful sleep, dreaming of beautiful ocean eyes that he would die for if that kept them safe. 

 

Eren ran down a long hallway filled with doors, his legs heavy.  _ I have to stop him! He can’t take him away from me!  _ This was a new dream, and it was terrifying. He had been with Levi at school. They were walking to the Q7 to go home like they did every day. Only today was different. Grisha was waiting for them in the parking lot. He had taken Levi, kidnapped him. Eren could still see Levi’s limp body where Grisha had knocked him out. “If you want him back, then you had better come back home to me you piece of shit. Be there by 10 tonight or I’ll just have him be your replacement. You wouldn’t want that, would you?” How could such vile things come from someone who had such a soft smile on his face?

 

The old apartment was at the end of the hall; it felt like he would never get there. Finally reaching the door, Eren shakily opened it.  _ I don’t want to go back to him… I’ll die if I go back… but I can’t let him do that to Levi… Not him…  _ Opening the door, his eyes landed on Grisha in the middle of the room, Levi tied up on his knees on the floor. Grisha had his fist knotted in Levi’s jet black hair, pulling his head back, a sharpened knife at his throat. 

 

“Eren! Run!” Levi shouted to the boy. “Go!” 

 

“Stupid brat, you were too late. It's 10:01.” With that, Levi’s pale skin was stained red. Grisha knocked him to the floor and laughed. “I hope you’re happy now, kid. You’ve killed your mother and now him. You just couldn’t listen.”

 

Eren screamed as he ran to Levi’s side, pulling him into his arms. “No! L-Levi, no… Come back…” He rested his forehead on Levi’s, his body growing cold. “Don’t leave me… I love you…” 

 

Eren jumped awake with a scream. Reaching to his side for Levi, he found nothing but empty space.  _ No, no, no, no, no….. He can’t be gone!  _ Leaping from the bed, he ran to the couch.  _ He has to be there…!  _ He fell to his knees by Levi’s head, relief flooding through him to find the raven haired man in a deep sleep. He couldn’t help the tears that fell silently.  _ He’s safe… He’s still here with me… Dad didn’t get him… I’m so glad…  _ A shaky hand rose and brushed Levi’s bangs from his face.  _ I don’t want him to leave me… I don’t know what I’d do without him anymore…   _ Eren leaned in and returned the kiss that he couldn’t before.  _ His lips are always so soft… and warm…  _ Slowly opening his eyes as he pulled away, his vision was filled with piercing grey. His breath caught in his throat.  _ Beautiful… I love his eyes…  _ “H-hi…” His face turned red with embarrassment after getting caught. 

 

“Hi…” Levi replied, eyes wide. 

 

“I-I’m sorry I woke you… I-I’ll just go back to bed…” Eren stood and turned, but was stopped by a firm grasp on his wrist pulling him back. Turning back around, Eren took in the view. Levi was propped up on his elbow, hair ruffled from sleep, grey eyes burning with an intensity that Eren had never seen before. Levi got up from the couch. Standing in front of the boy, he looked up into his eyes, a hand finding it's way to Eren’s cheek. “You were crying…” he stated while wiping away stray tears with his thumb. “Eren… what happened?” 

 

The tears started to freely fall again at the memory of his nightmare. The image of Levi, cold and soaked in his own blood was burned into Eren’s memory. Eren hiccuped through his tears as he tried to compose himself. Levi stood on his toes, reaching up to softly kiss the boy’s lips. “Shh… Hey it's okay. Eren, you’re safe, I’m right here. What happened to get you so worked up?”

 

The brunette wrapped his arm around Levi, burying his face in his neck. “I-I just had another nightmare… It was nothing.” Levi gently rubbed circles into the boy’s back trying to comfort him.

 

“The same as what you’ve told me already?” Levi needed to know, he couldn’t help if he didn’t know what was going on in that head of his. 

 

“N-no… this was new...I-” Eren’s grip on Levi tightened as the words caught in his throat. “D-dad took you… h-he knocked you out and took you… He said that I had to come home or he would use you as m-my replacement… I-I couldn’t let him do that… I didn’t want you to go through all that… S-so I went… but I was too late… L-Levi h-he… He killed you… Right in front of me… I had you dead in my arms… I-” The boy sobbed into Levi’s shoulder. “I lost you… A-and when I woke up, y-you were gone… I thought he had taken you… Then when I found you here… I was so relieved… I didn’t know what to do…”

 

A sad smile crossed Levi’s lips. “So you kissed me, huh?” Pulling Eren off of him, Levi looked him in the eyes. “Eren, look at me.” He placed a hand back on the boy’s tear stained cheek. “I’m here, I’m breathing, and I’m never leaving you. He won’t get me, and he won’t hurt you. I promise.” 

 

Eren didn’t know what to do anymore, but he wanted to kiss Levi again. Leaning down suddenly, he took Levi’s face in his hands and kissed him in desperation. He needed to know that Levi was alive and breathing, that his familiar warmth was still there. 

 

Levi responded, returning the kiss, his tongue tracing along Eren’s bottom lip for permission. The brunette obliged, allowing Levi to deepen the kiss. Levi wrapped his arms around Eren’s waist pulling him closer.  _ He’s so sweet. God, I’ve been waiting for this… _ Eren broke away from the kiss, resting his forehead on Levi’s and panting softly. 

 

“You’re really here… I-I was so scared… You were dead… I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t here… I honestly don’t think I could do it anymore… I don’t even know how I made it before I met you…” 

 

Levi placed a feather light kiss on Eren’s lip. “I’m not dead, and I’m not going anywhere. Come on kid, let’s get you back in bed. I’ll stay with you this time if you want.” Eren nodded and allowed Levi to lead him back to the bedroom, his warm hand grasping Eren’s tightly. 

 

Eren climbed into bed, finding his spot in the middle and then immediately attaching himself to Levi once he had laid down. The boy had his arms around the older man’s waist, his head nuzzled into his chest.  Levi ran his fingers soothingly through the boy’s hair and tangled his legs in Eren’s. He knew the boy needed the contact if he was going to calm down, and Levi was more than willing to oblige. The duo quickly faded into a peaceful sleep.

 

Levi woke, still tangled up in Eren.  _ Damn, I could get used to this...buuuutttt. I need to get up and take care of this before Eren wakes up and notices. _ Levi had made a point not to stay in the same bed as Eren the last few weeks for a reason. He was attracted to Eren, and his body made that painfully obvious at times. He headed off to the bathroom, grabbing some clean clothes that he had stashed last week on the way. After his shower, he walked back to the bedroom wearing nothing but his pants, towel draped over his head as he dried his hair.  _ I swear this kid can sleep forever.  _ A smile slipped past his normal expressionless façade as he watched Eren sleeping. Levi adjusted the blankets over the boy and kissed him softly on the lips before heading back out to the kitchen to start breakfast. 

 

Eren started to stir, groggily reaching for Levi and finding him gone. His eyes shot open as he sat up.  _ Levi!  _ Remembering the nightmare, he lunged out of bed and raced out of the bedroom, stopping short when he saw Levi making breakfast in his half naked glory.  _ Wow… He’s… built. How can someone with those muscles be so comfortable to sleep on?  _ Wandering over to his now normal perch, he hopped up on the counter and watched Levi. “Soooo…. What delicious thing are you coming up with today?”

 

“Nothing fancy, just a quiche. Simple enough. Plus they’re good for grabbing a slice on the way out the door before school.” Levi slid the pan into the oven, then turned to face Eren. The boy was sitting on the counter swinging his legs like normal, wearing his favorite oversized sweatshirt. His brown hair was everywhere, but it just added to his charm.  _ God, he’s so cute. He has no idea.  _ Levi walked over and stood in front of the boy. “Why do you insist on sitting on the counter when I’m cooking? There are plenty of chairs around here. That is their purpose, after all.”

 

Eren was far more comfortable with Levi after last night. Reaching out, he draped his arms over Levi’s shoulders and pulled him against the counter, resting his chin on top of Levi’s head. “Because if I sit in here, I can watch you cook. It’s more fun that way.” 

 

Levi sighed and led his head rest against Eren’s chest.  _ I never realized how soothing a heartbeat could be. I think his is my new favorite sound.  _ “Well, if you must, who am I to argue? It's your apartment anyway.” 

 

Eren chuckled, his response past his lips before he even realized what he had said. “It could be yours if you wanted.” A deep blush heated his cheeks once he realized what he had said, but he couldn’t take it back, not that he really wanted to. 

 

“Only if I have free reign of the kitchen.” He chuckled and pulled away from the boy. He shot Eren a playful smile and went back to monitoring breakfast.  _ I wonder if he meant that. I wouldn’t be opposed to it. It seems sudden though. My apartment is much bigger. That would be ideal. Plus, I have a better kitchen.  _ He shook his head, clearing out the stray thoughts.  _ No, I’m sure he’s joking. He probably doesn’t even realize what he’s asking.  _

 

The two of them ate breakfast in relative silence. The day passed quickly, each relaxing in their own way. They ate a late lunch together, then spread out on the bed to work on homework. Levi had finished all of his the previous evening, but Eren still had his French homework to do. Eren struggled with his pronunciations, but he had most of the words down. Levi was laying on his stomach, head propped on his fist as he listened to Eren practice his sentences. “Tu es beau, tu sais.”    
  
Eren looked up from his work in surprise. “I forget sometimes that you’re fluent in French… How long have you known it? Just since college? Also, what did you say?” 

 

Levi couldn’t help the quiet laugh that escaped him. “No, I’ve known it longer than that. At least for the last, oh I don’t know, 25 years?” 

 

Eren flopped down on his back next to Levi, abandoning his work. “But… You’re 25, right? So you’ve known French your whole life? How? Also, you didn’t answer my question.” The boy blushed when Levi climbed over him, green eyes meeting grey. 

 

“Je suis née en France. Et oui.” Levi grinned playfully, he was going to make Eren work for his information. Eren groaned. Levi could see the dots connecting in his head as he worked out the translation. 

 

“You were born in France?” 

 

“Yes, I was. I lived there until I was ten.” Levi was proud of him for figuring it out. Leaning down, Levi planted soft kisses down Eren’s neck, whispering as he went. “And I said before, you’re beautiful, you know?” He was close enough to hear Eren’s racing heartbeat and his breathing hitch. 

 

A soft mewl escaped Eren’s lips.  _ That feels so good… I want to go farther with him… I can do that… I’ve done it before with girls… Why would he be any different…  _ Eren was thankful that Levi had never bothered to put on a shirt. He let his hands wander, feeling the sculpted muscles of Levi’s back.  He shuddered when Levi’s hand found it's way up his shirt, dragging it up over his head. The raven haired man continued his assault, kissing down the boy’s tanned chest, pausing to suck at one of his nipples, tongue circling it. Teasing him, sucking, and then releasing it with a soft pop.

 

Levi ran his hands down Eren’s sides.  _ He’s still so small, even with eating normally for the last few weeks… But at least I can’t feel his ribs anymore. I can’t believe he’s letting me do this. I’ve wanted to touch him for so long… _ The onslaught continued, licking, kissing, suckling down the boy’s skin, his fingers tugging at the waistband of his shorts. A smug smile crossed his lips when he heard Eren’s breathing hitch, becoming faster. Levi started to slide his hand lower but stopped when he heard the boy whimper.  _ That doesn’t sound like he’s enjoying this…  _ Levi’s eyes snapped up to check on the boy, only finding his eyes shut tight and his breathing rapid.

 

_ No, no, no, no, no, calm down, it's not Grisha. It's not. It’s Levi, he’s never hurt me. He won’t hurt me…. Please… You can do this, Jaeger…  _ Eren covered his face with his arms. He bit down on one arm hard to try and silence himself and his gasping for air. He tried to disconnect, to just shut down like he used to. But he couldn’t, he didn’t want to either.  _ If I’m going to do this with him, I want to be present. I don’t want to shut myself off… Fuck!  _

 

Levi quickly stopped and moved back up to look Eren in the eyes. Balancing on his knees as he straddled the boy, he gently pulled the brunette’s arms away from his face. His heart ached when he found tears falling from the corners of his eyes. Eren gasped for breath beneath him. Levi quickly got off and tried to pull the boy into his arms but failed. Eren backed away, eyes wide with fear, pinning himself against the headboard. Levi reached out to touch him but froze when he realized that his touch was what had set this off. “Eren, just breathe for me okay? I won’t touch you… I’m sorry… Just breathe. You’re okay, you’re safe. I’m sorry… Please, just breathe for me...” Levi wanted nothing more than to hold him close, run his fingers through the boy’s hair, and comfort him. To stop the shaking. 

 

Eren didn’t want this. He needed Levi; he needed his warmth.  _ Why? Why am I so scared of him all of a sudden… No, that’s not right. I’m not scared of Levi. He isn’t Grisha, I can do this…. _ Still gasping for air, Eren reached a shaking hand toward Levi. “Please…”

 

Though hesitant, Levi understood exactly what Eren wanted. He slowly crawled over to the shaking brunette. Taking his hand, Levi wrapped his strong arms around him. He kissed his forehead softly and rubbed the boy’s back. “I’m so sorry, Eren… I didn’t mean... What did I do specifically? I don’t want to hurt you…”

 

Eren’s breathing slowly returned to the realm of normal. The tears refused to stop though. He had to tell Levi, it hurt too much to keep this from him.  _ What if he thinks I’m dirty and leaves… I can’t take that… but it's hurting him to think he’s hurt me...I have to tell him… Someone needs to know….  _ “There are some… things… that I haven’t told you….”

 

Levi waited in silence for Eren to continue. He knew better than to ask questions when the boy was in a sharing mood. 

 

“It… It wasn’t just hitting and kicking and stuff like that… H-He…. He raped me… multiple times… for over a year… It started when I was 15… It always hurt.” Eren struggled to breathe through the sobs that wracked his body. Levi simply held him, comforting him as best he could. “S-so much, it hurt so much… I used to pass out from the pain…”

 

Levi saw nothing but red. How could someone do something so horrible to such an amazing boy. He wanted to kill the man; he struggled to suppress his rage.  _ Calm down, focus on Eren, deal with douche bag later.  _ “I’m so sorry, Eren, I had no idea… We won’t do anything unless you want to then. And only when you’re ready. And if you never are, that’s okay too.” He held Eren close, his comforting touches slowly calming the boy. 

 

“Levi… can we just go to bed… I know it's probably still early, but I’m so tired…”

 

“Of course, whatever you want to do.” Levi readjusted so that they were both laying down, Eren securely in his arms. He softly kissed the boy’s temple before laying his own head down. “Good night, Eren. Thank you for telling me… your trust means a lot.” Before long, Eren was out cold, Levi following shortly after. 

 

Levi was in a strange apartment; nothing looked familiar. He wandered through the quiet rooms trying to determine what was going on. Suddenly a scream pierced through the air. His heart stopped.  _ I know that voice… Eren!  _  He took off running in the direction of the sound. Bursting through a closed door, he froze at the scene. A faceless man had a much younger Eren held up by his hair. Levi jumped to save the brunette as the man tossed the boy against the wall. Eren hit with a sickening thud, then fell limply to the floor. The raven haired man yelled in anger when he realized he was frozen in place.  _ No! Why can’t I fucking move? Eren..!  _ He yelled at the man to stop, obscenities and death threats spewing, but they fell on deaf ears. The man drunkenly stumbled over the the collapsed boy and started to kick him, over and over again. “You killed her! You worthless piece of shit! She killed herself because of you! I’ll just show you how worthless you are. No one will want you when I’m done with you.” Levi found himself crying in anger. He continued to yell even though he knew that he wasn’t heard. The man grabbed Eren by the waist, tearing his pants out of the way. Levi’s heart stopped when he heard a bloodcurdling scream rip from Eren’s throat as the faceless man thrust into him. 

 

Levi suddenly awoke, gasping for air. His heart was racing as he frantically turned, looking for Eren. Relief washed over him when he found the brunette sleeping peacefully beside him. He willed himself to calm, his mind racing, replaying the scene he had just witnessed in his dreams.  _ Oh my god…. I can’t even… All of that… _ His chest burned, lungs on fire as he tried to catch his breath.  _ This must be what Eren feels like when he has an attack…  _ Levi held his chest, his heart breaking at the thought.  _ He’s so strong… so much stronger than he realizes…  _ He gently gathered the sleeping boy in his arms, holding him close.  _ I will protect you, no matter what. You will  _ never _ have to go through that again.  _ After he calmed, Levi slowly fell back into a restless slumber, the dream refusing to leave him alone. 


	11. Happily Ever After?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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Sunday passed uneventfully, but Levi didn’t let Eren out of his sight. The raven haired man had dark circles under his eyes, he hadn’t slept well at all after waking up. He had woken every hour or so, constantly checking to make sure that Eren was still there and that he was safe. 

 

Eren was worried, he had never seen Levi so worn out.  _ I wonder what happened… He was fine yesterday… OH. I know! Today, I’ll let him rest, and I can take care of him for once!  _ Eren did what he could for the older man, not that Levi let him do much. He still cooked all three meals, but Eren did the dishes for him before Levi had a chance to even touch them. After Eren had finished with the dinner dishes, he turned back to Levi. The raven haired man was leaning up against a counter, watching him. Eren walked over and took Levi by the hand, leading him back to the couch. “Here, sit. Rest. You’ve been up all day, and you look exhausted.” Levi made a move to argue, but Eren was having none of it. He gently pushed Levi back onto the couch, then curled up next to him. Opening up his laptop, he pulled up Netflix and turned on Full Metal Alchemist. 

 

Levi shot the boy a skeptical look. “You like anime?” Eren nodded an affirmation, but he was already too focused on the show to vocalize an answer. He snuggled against Levi and was lost in the world of FMA. After the episode, Levi noticed Eren yawn. “How about we call it a night? You look tired.” 

 

“Me? Tired? Never. You, on the other hand, still look like the walking dead.” Eren shot him a playful grin.  

 

Levi shook his head. “I’m fine. Trust me.”

 

Eren sat up. Leaning over, he softly kissed Levi before getting up. “Whatever you say, Heichou.” The brunette laughed softly as he started off to the bathroom to get ready for bed. 

 

Levi smiled to himself, happy that Eren was laughing. He got up to follow the boy, thankful that he still had more clothes stashed. There was no way he would be going home tonight after last night. 

 

Later, in bed, Eren was laying on Levi as had become the norm for them.“Just so you know, I’ll be late getting back for dinner on Tuesday, I’ve got to stay over and work on my research with a classmate.” Levi played with the boy’s hair as he spoke. “I’ll probably be back around seven. Will you be alright getting home on your own?”

 

“Yeah, I should be fine. I’ll probably stop by the coffee shop and say hi to Armin, I haven’t seen him in weeks since I’ve been riding with you to and from campus.” 

 

“You’ll have to introduce me to him sometime. I’d like to meet your friends.”  _ Mostly I want to know who he associates with… If he has someone else who I can rely on, that would be nice.  _

 

Eren yawned and nuzzled into Levi. “Mmm, mkay…”  The two fell asleep quickly after, Levi thankful for the peaceful sleep that he got with Eren in his arms.

 

Levi woke with his alarm, arms still tightly around Eren. He knew that he would have to get up for class sooner or later. He kissed Eren lightly then slipped out of bed and got ready for the day. After making a quick breakfast, Levi went back to the bedroom to retrieve Eren. He brushed the mess of hair out of the boy’s face, leaning in to kiss him. “Hey kid, time to wake up. I’ve got breakfast made.” 

 

Eren stirred under his touch. “Mmm… five more minutes…” The boy reached up and pulled Levi down to him. “I don’t want to get up yet….” 

 

Levi chuckled, kissing Eren’s forehead. “Too bad, kiddo. You’ve got just enough time to get dressed and eat before we’re leaving.”  He pulled away from the brunette and rolled back out of bed. Eren groggily slid out of bed and threw on clean clothes before staggering into the kitchen. He quickly ate breakfast, and the two of them headed to school. 

 

Sitting in class, Eren tried to work through everything that had happened over the weekend. It was a lot to process.  _ So…. Dad’s coming back. That’s fucking great. But… Levi is here, and he always saves me… So… it’s less scary that Dad is back…  I like having Levi around… He’s so warm, and… I really like when we kiss…  _

 

Levi glanced at Eren.  _ He’s not paying attention. What is he thinking so hard about… _ He reached over and placed his hand on Eren’s. Once the boy looked over to him, he silently asked if he was okay. Eren nodded and mouthed back a “yes,” but Levi wasn’t convinced. He made a note to continue to watch the boy. 

 

_ He always does that… Makes sure I’m okay… It’s nice. He did that all weekend. When I flipped out on campus on Friday, he didn’t care who was watching. He only cared if I was okay.  I wonder if he’ll always care like that… I could trust him… I want to touch him more… He listened when I told him about what Dad did to me, and he just held me… His warmth is so calming. He cooks for me too…. Damn his cooking is so good! Like I’m always hungry when he cooks.  _ Eren smiled to himself thinking about that. He glanced over to Levi, taking in his profile.  _ He’s so perfect, he’s got everything together, he’s always so calm and collected.  _

 

Class ended and the two had to part ways. Levi turned to walk to his next class, but Eren grabbed his wrist, pulling him back. Levi stared back trying to read Eren’s intentions, his eyes questioning. The brunette blushed and quickly kissed Levi on the cheek before turning and running to his next class. Sitting in humanities, he once again zoned out.  _ He didn’t even flinch when I told him about what Dad did to me. He just held me… and when we started doing things… Honestly it felt good… I want to do it again… How can we do that without me flipping out? I want to do that for him, he’s so kind and caring.... OH. I know how to make this work. I took some of Dad’s alcohol with me when I moved… I can drink some of that… it makes you relaxed, right? That should work… I can do it tomorrow. He won’t be home till later, so he won’t be around, and I can sneak it in. Okay! Let’s do this!  _ The day passed fairly quickly after that; Eren was feeling quite proud of himself. 

 

After dinner that evening, the two worked together in silence on their homework. “I’m going to have to go home tonight, I’ll stay until you’re asleep though.” Levi started to put his books away as he was talking. “How about you go ahead and get ready for bed. I’ll be there in just a minute.”

 

Eren nodded and went off to get ready. Once he had his pajamas on, he crawled into the bed and sat in the middle, waiting on Levi. The raven haired man eventually came in and sat down next to him. Eren laid against him, a contented sigh escaping him as he settled. “Do you really have to go…?” 

 

Levi kissed the top of the boy’s head and sighed. “Yeah, yeah I do. I don’t have any clean clothes left here. Plus, I need to check on things at home. I haven’t been there in a while. You’ll be okay though, and if you need me you know I’m only a phone call away.” 

 

Eren tightened his arms around Levi and whined. “Fine… if you really have to…” Levi started to run his fingers through the boy’s hair. With that, Eren quickly slipped away into a peaceful slumber. 

 

Levi hated to leave him, but he had no other choice. He slipped out of the boy’s grasp and headed out for the evening, though his mind never strayed from the thought of Eren alone in his bed.  _ What if he has a nightmare and it triggers another attack? What if I’m not there for him? Maybe I should just grab clothes and go back… No. He’ll be okay… Calm down, Levi… That asshat doesn’t know where Eren is, so he’s safe.  _ Levi worried himself into another fitful night of sleep, once again exhausted when he woke the next morning. 

 

Tuesday passed without incident. Levi picked Eren up like normal, breakfast in tow. “Remember, I won’t be back to make dinner till about seven. Will you be alright?”

 

Eren nodded as he picked at his food. “Yeah, of course! Why wouldn’t I be? I’ll call you if anything happens, okay?” Levi eyed the boy, trying to decide if he really would be fine. He resigned himself to the fact that it didn’t matter because he had to be on campus tonight anyway. He would keep his phone on, however, and would leave the second anything happened. 

 

Later that afternoon as Eren walked home, he thought about how the night would go.  _ I’ll have to do some research… I don’t know the first thing about having sex with a guy… Good thing I have like 4 hours to figure it out.  But first, jaeger. I wonder if he bought the stuff because it had the same name as our last name? Huh. Well, whatever. It’s gotta be good stuff if Dad bought it. I remember him always complaining about the crappy liquor. _

 

Once home, Eren dug out the green bottle. He took 3 big gulps of the stuff before doubling over and coughing.  _ Fuck, this stuff is disgusting. Blech. And it burns. This better help, or I’m going to be pissed.    _ Before long, he started to feel light. He fumbled around with his phone, looking up a porn site and starting his “research”.  _ This won’t be so hard… I mean, I just do the same thing my ex-girlfriends used to do, right? I know what feels good to me, so maybe it will be the same for Levi? I guess we’ll find out…  _ The buzz started to wear off around six, so he hopped up to drink some more. By the time Levi walked in the door, he was feeling fairly confident in his abilities to go through with his plan. 

 

“Hey kiddo, I’m back. You hungry yet?” Levi hung his bag over the back of a chair and headed toward the kitchen. 

 

Eren followed him, wrapping his arms around Levi’s slim waist. “Mhmm, but not for food.” Eren slowly kissed down Levi’s neck, his hands finding their way under his shirt. Eren ran his fingers over Levi’s sculpted body and couldn’t help the wave of desire that washed over him. “Come with me…” The boy pulled at Levi, backing toward the bedroom

 

Levi was awestruck.  _ What the actual fuck. Am I dreaming? This is a dream, right? Did I get in an accident on the way home?  _ “E-Eren? What are you doing?” Levi turned in the boy’s arms, looking up into his eyes. He was stunned by the hot lust he found there.  _ Oh. My. God. He is so fucking hot right now… but… is that alcohol I smell? He’s been drinking… that’s what's going on.  _ “Eren, have you been drinking?”

 

Eren leaned in and took Levi’s lips on his own, desperate for his touch. “Mhm… does it matter though?” The brunette continued to pull Levi toward the bedroom. 

 

“Yes, it matters. Are you sure you really want to do this? I… Last time…” Eren cut him off, placing a finger over Levi’s lips. 

 

“Shh. Yes, I’m sure, just come with me, please?” Eren took Levi’s hand and pulled him the rest of the way to the room. Once there, he gently pushed the older man down onto the bed. “I know I want you, and if it takes some jaeger to keep my wits about me, then that’s what I’ll do.” Eren straddled Levi’s hips, rubbing their erections together, a soft moan escaping him. His hands found their way to Levi’s shirt, pulling it up over his head. Eren attempted to replicate what Levi had done to him Sunday. He kissed along his neck and down his chest, growing more excited as he heard Levi’s breath catch. Eren licked and suckled one of Levi’s nipples, nipping it gently before moving to the other and repeating. He kissed down Levi’s toned body as his hands found their way to his waistband. Eren tugged Levi’s pants and underwear out of his way, freeing the man’s erection. The brunette’s breath caught at the sight.  _ Wow, he’s kinda big… can I even fit all that in my mouth like they did in those videos? _

 

Levi tangled his fingers in Eren’s hair, unsure if he should stop him or not.  _ Fuck! This feels too good, I don’t know if I’ll be able to hold back… What if I hurt him… What if he has another attack? What if --  _ Levi’s internal onslaught was cut short, his mind blanking out when Eren’s hot mouth covered his erection.  _ Oh. My. God. Fuck!  _ Levi hissed at the sensation. He hadn’t done this in so long, the feeling of the boy’s mouth almost overloading him. 

 

Eren took as much of him in as he could, swirling his tongue around Levi’s hard member. Bobbing his head, he sucked as best he could. He was proud of himself for being able to make Levi react. His own erection was growing painful against his tight pants as he continued his ministrations. Levi pulled at his hair, following Eren’s movements. “Fuck, Eren… How are you so good at this…”

 

The boy pulled away, a soft pop as his mouth left Levi’s dripping member. “I uh… I might have done a little research while I was waiting on you to get home…” 

 

Levi groaned and pulled the boy up to him. “You know… That’s actually really hot. So… you know what comes next, right…? Are you sure you want to do this?” Levi tried to read Eren’s expression, his own eyes filled with concern. 

 

Eren nodded, leaning down to kiss Levi. “Yes, I’m sure. I want you. I don’t know how to do it right though…” 

 

Levi nodded and flipped the two of them so that he was on top, his concern pushed back slightly as desire drove his actions. “Well then,” he purred, “I’ll just have to show you how pleasurable this can be.” Levi made quick work of removing Eren’s shirt; he hesitated when he got to his pants. Looking back up to Eren’s eyes, he tried to gauge if this was still okay. Looking back were two beautiful green eyes, hooded with desire and showing complete trust.  

 

Eren reached out, softly placing his hand on Levi’s cheek. “I promise, it’s okay this time. I want it to be you. Erase all the bad memories. Make it so I only see you.” Levi turned his head and kissed Eren’s palm, then placed it over his heart. 

 

“Do you feel how excited you make me? I can’t remember ever feeling like this.” His heart was pounding in his chest. He loved this boy so much -- he just didn’t know how to tell him. “You do this to me.” Getting off of the boy, he slowly pulled away the remainder of his clothes, then removed his own. Levi locked eyes with Eren and slowly started to suck on his fingers, swirling his tongue around them. Once he was happy with his lube job, he placed a finger at Eren’s entrance, once more hesitating.  _ I don’t want to hurt him… I know what I’m doing, but still… _ Eren nodded at him to continue, no trace of apprehension in his eyes. Levi slowly pushed the digit in, pausing to let Eren adjust before continuing, his own member jumping with excitement as Eren mewled beneath him. Once the boy had adjusted, he added another finger and started to try to find the magic spot that would make the boy sing with pleasure. After just a short amount of searching, he found it. A smug smile crossed Levi’s face as Eren cried out beneath him. 

 

“O-Oh my god… Levi!  D-do that again!” Eren felt as if every nerve was on high alert. He could feel every motion Levi made in every inch of his body. He moaned as Levi added a third finger, stretching him. “Levi, please… I want you… Please…” 

 

“Are you sure….? I’m a bit bigger than three fingers….” Eren nodded, squirming beneath him. With that, Levi removed his fingers. Placing the boy’s legs over his shoulders, he positioned himself at his entrance. Carefully, he pushed himself into Eren’s tight hole. He hissed with pleasure, his head dropping as he tried to control himself. “Fuck, Eren… You feel so good…” Levi waited for the boy to adjust before moving. 

 

“G-go ahead, It’s okay…” Eren moaned beneath the raven haired man as he started to move, searching for the magic spot again. Levi knew that he had found it when Eren arched off the bed, his hands gripping onto Levi’s forearms. “O-Oh my god. Levi! F-fuck! Right there, faster, please, hit that again…” Levi picked up the pace, aiming for the same spot. After a few moments, Eren was crying out beneath him. He could feel the tightening in his gut, he wasn’t going to last much longer. 

 

“Eren… I’m about to come…” Levi moaned out at the pleasure that was washing over him. 

 

“M-me too… fuck…” Levi let go when Eren fell apart beneath him, shuddering as waves of pleasure washed over him. He slowly pulled out and collapsed next to his brat.  _ Fuck… I love this kid… _ He softly kissed Eren and pulled a blanket over the two of them, then wrapped his arms around the panting brunette. “Shit, Eren… That was amazing… Are you okay?”

 

Eren nodded, too tired to do more than nuzzle into Levi’s chest. “That was good… Thank you… I had no idea that could feel so good… can… Can we do that again sometime?” 

 

Levi chuckled and pulled the boy closer, running his fingers through the messy brown hair. “Absolutely. Anytime you want.”  As their breathing returned to normal, the two drifted off into a deep sleep, each thinking of the other. 

 

Levi woke up first that morning. He yawned and stretched out as much as he could without waking Eren.  _ Hmm… Pancakes sound good for breakfast.  I bet Eren would like that too.  _ With that, Levi slipped out of bed, took a quick shower, and headed to the kitchen. Not too long after he had started cooking, a half asleep Eren dragged himself into the kitchen wearing nothing but a loose pair of sweatpants that barely hung from his hips.  _ Fucking hell, kid. I don't think you could get sexier if you tried right now.  _ Levi turned and started to give the boy a good morning kiss, but Eren just walked right past him.  _ What? Is he actually still asleep?  _ Levi shifted to see where the brunette was headed and had to stifle his laughter as Eren snagged a pancake from the plate on the counter and started eating.  _ Oh my god. He is too adorable. He literally only woke up for food.  _ Levi walked up behind the boy and wrapped his arms around his waist, planting kisses along his shoulder. “Are those good? If you'd wait a minute, I can get you a plate of your own. They're better with maple syrup and whipped cream, too.”

 

Eren finished the pancake in his hand then turned in Levi's arms. He wrapped his arms around Levi's neck and softly kissed the older man. “They're amazing. They smelled so good, I just had to get up. You taste better though.” Eren licked his lips, a mischievous glimmer in his eyes. 

 

Levi tried to ignore how that comment affected him. “Hold your horses, kiddo. We have time for food, and that's it. We do have lit to get to.” Levi's will wavered at the disappointment that flitted through the boy's eyes. “Don't worry. We will have plenty of time for that later if you really want to. I promise.” 

 

Eren nodded and released his hold on him. “Well then, my own plate of pancakes sounds awesome.” Levi smiled and went to work.  Once he had it together he handed the plate to the boy. 

 

Eren leaned in and kissed him softly. “Thanks, Levi.” Hopping up onto the counter, he dug in, finishing his food in record time. “I need to go shower before we leave.”

 

“Well you better hurry, you're running out of time.” Levi playfully smacked Eren on the butt as he walked past. “Don't make us late, kiddo.”

 

Eren laughed and hurried off to the bathroom. “Wouldn't dream of it, boss.” Soon they were headed out the door and on their way to campus. 

 

“Hey Levi? I’m gonna walk back today, okay? I want to stop in and see Armin. You need to start hanging around for your research anyway. I hate that you’re skipping out for me.” Levi gave him a skeptical look but nodded slowly. 

 

“Okay, well… I’ll be back about 4 then. You get out of class around 11, right? What are you going to do once you get home?”  

 

“I have another French test coming up next week. I need to study for that. So that’s probably it. What are you thinking for dinner?” 

 

“I was thinking shepherd’s pie. It's pretty good.” 

 

“Okay! Sounds good!” They pulled up to school and started walking toward class. Eren stopped Levi at the point where they had to split off. The brunette pulled the smaller man into a hug and kissed him softly. “I’ll see you tonight. Can’t wait for dinner, it sounds amazing.” With that, Eren headed off to class. 

 

Levi stood silently on the sidewalk.  _ What on earth is he up to….? He doesn’t just kiss me like that in public.  _ Levi spent the rest of the day with nothing on his mind but Eren, wondering what he might come home to. 

 

Eren walked home slowly, trying to decide if he would go through with his plan.  _ I want to be with him again. That was… amazing. Just a few more shots…  before he gets home… And I’ll be fine.  _ Eren stopped by Cafe Shina on his way. It had been a while since he had seen Armin. “Hey, Armin! How are you?”

 

The blonde boy turned quickly, a wide smile quickly splitting across his face. “Eren! Oh my gosh! I haven’t seen you in forever. How are you? How are you classes going? What have you been up to?” Eren chuckled at the rapid fire questions. 

 

“I know, I’m sorry I haven’t been by. I uh..” Eren blushed lightly and rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. “I kinda met someone. I’ve been spending a lot of time with him.” 

 

Armin jumped up and down in excitement. “Oh my gosh, are you serious? Wait, you said him? Wow Eren, I never thought that you’d fancy a guy. That must be one hell of a man to catch your eye.” Armin winked at the brunette playfully. “I want to meet this guy sometime, you got it? Bring him by for coffee.”   
  
“I would, but he doesn’t drink coffee. Learn how to make some damn good tea instead and I’ll bring him by eventually… He is pretty attractive though.”

 

Armin chuckled, his smile blinding. “Yeah, you for sure have to bring him by now.” 

 

“Will do. Well, I’m gonna head home. I just wanted to drop in and say hi! I’ll see you later though!’ Eren waved as he headed back out of the cafe.  _ Yeah, I’m doing this. If I care enough to tell Armin, then I want to be with him.  _ Eren walked the rest of the way home, excited for what he had in mind for the evening. Walking in the door, he checked the time.  _ Okay, it's only one, I’ve got plenty of time.  _ Eren took a quick shower, changed the sheets on the bed, then went and pulled the jaeger back out. He took a large swig of the bitter liquid.  _ Gah… this stuff isn’t any better today. I wonder if this would be better if I drank more… _ Taking another draught from the bottle, he made his way over to the couch, grabbing his phone on the way. His stomach growled in hunger, but he ignored it.  _ I can wait for Levi to get home. We’ll eat then.  _ He took another drink from the bottle and plopped down on the couch. His head spun from the sudden movement.  _ Heh… that feels funny. Wow, I feel really good. I wish Levi was home already…  _ pulling up his messages app, he decided to text Levi to see when he would be home. 

 

**Eren: heyyyyy. Watcha up to? It's to qiet around here…**

**Levi: Well… I was working on my thesis… Now I’m questioning if I should be doing that at the moment.**

 

Eren took another drink from the bottle and giggled.  _ Why would he question that? Silly. He’s doing what he needs to be doing.  _

**  
** **Eren: I mish you… buuuutttt kep workn on you stuf. Kay? Is important.**

**Levi: I’m coming home. Stay put.**

 

**Eren: nnooo. Ddo you work. Itsbimportant. You hve to dovit to grduate.**

 

**Levi: What on earth have you been doing. This is the last time you walk home alone. I swear Eren.**

 

Eren took another drink from the bottle then set it between his legs. The room was spinning by now. He laughed at the sensation before sending Levi one final text.  _ I’ll show him, if he’s going to push his work aside and come home early.  _

 

**Eren: Youbknow…… u hve a reeeaaaallllyyyybsexy ass…. Jussayn**

 

Levi blushed as he read the last text.  _ What the… I swear, he must be drinking again. I should have poured that down the drain….  _ Levi walked as quickly as he could towards his car. He was ready to be back with Eren. 

 

Eren moved to get up when Levi opened the door, the bottle falling to the floor. Levi rushed to the boy’s side, catching him before he fell face first into the coffee table.  “Christ, Eren, how much did you drink?” He sat the brunette back down on the couch, sitting on the coffee table across from him. 

 

“Jusst a lil bit… I - I don’t r-really know, actually. I w-was drinkin the whoooooolllleeeee time I was testin you. I reeaaaallyy wanted to see y-you. I want chuu lebi...pleaasee?” Eren leaned forward, trying to kiss Levi, but the older man turned his head quickly. Eren’s head fell to Levi’s chest and he groaned in frustration. 

 

Levi picked up the bottle off the floor and examined what remained. “Seriously, kid? You drank almost half a bottle of hard liquor? Do you have any idea what that does? Did you at least have the sense to eat something first?” He fought to keep the anger and concern out of his voice, pushing Eren away and back against the couch. He froze when he noticed Eren’s eyes starting to well. 

 

“D-do you not want me…?  I… I thought you liked k-kisses… Y-you always kiss me…” Eren sniffled and wiped his eyes with his sleeve. “P-please don’t throw me away… I-I won’t drink again… p-please… I just want you… Please touch me… for the first time ever… it doesn’t hurt to be touched... it d-doesn’t hurt w-when you touch me…”

 

Levi’s heart seized at the stream of slurred words coming from the brunette. “God, Eren, that’s not why I pushed you away. You’re not in your right mind, kid. You don’t want this. Let’s just get you to bed, okay? You need to sleep this off.”

 

Eren made an attempt to sit up but slumped toward Levi instead. “B-but..! D-dinner… you were going to make dinner… I w-was exshited…” 

 

Levi sighed and caught the brunette in his arms. “Sorry kiddo, but no dinner for you. Only bed. And to sleep. That’s all, got it?”

 

Eren nodded lazily. “O-only if you come with me…”

 

Levi scooped the long gone boy into his arms and made his way toward the room. Eren groaned in discomfort. “Uunngg… L-lebi… I d-don’t feel -” And with that, he released the entirety of his stomach all over himself and Levi. 

 

“God dammit, Eren! Give me a warning better than two seconds, would you?! You’re lucky I fucking love you!” Levi detoured at the bathroom and removed his shirt and Eren’s. He quickly wiped the boy down before cleaning himself up. Thankfully, it had only gotten on their shirts by some miracle. Levi made sure Eren was close to the toilet before going to hunt down a bucket or something to keep by the bed. “You stay right there. Do not move. I’ll be right back.” Levi found a small trash can under the kitchen sink and placed it by the bed before going back to retrieve the intoxicated brunette. Scooping him up, he finally made it to the room. Laying the boy down on the sheets, he noticed that they were new.  _ He changed the sheets? Was he really planning something? Come to think of it… his hair is still damp, too. Geez, kid…  _ After tucking the blankets around the boy, he turned to go clean up the mess in the hall but was stopped by a shaky hand on his wrist.

 

A quiet voice slipped through the dim room. “H-hey, Lebi… I l-love you too…” 

 

Levi turned back to the boy, shock evident in his eyes. A small smile found it's way across Eren’s face before he closed his eyes and passed out.  _ He doesn’t mean that. It's the jaeger talking.  _ Levi loosened Eren’s grip from his wrist and placed his hand over his chest. Brushing the mess of hair out of the boy’s face, he placed a lingering kiss on his forehead. “Get some rest… You’ll want as much as you can get after all that.” Levi turned and quietly walked out, going to find himself something small to eat and to clean up the mess in the hallway. After a few hours, he returned to the room and crawled in bed next to Eren, making sure that Eren was on the outside by the trash can just in case. He didn’t particularly feel like getting thrown up on again. Pressing his body up against the brunette’s, he wrapped an arm around his waist and kissed the boy’s shoulder. 

 

Levi woke to a hungover Eren. The boy was groaning and holding his head. “Well, good morning sunshine. How are we feeling?”

 

“Not good… my head is killing me… and I feel like I’m trying to move through… I don’t even know what. Everything is just heavy…”

 

Levi chuckled softly and gently ran his finger’s through the boy’s hair. “Would you like me to get up and get you some breakfast? I would imagine that you’ll be staying in bed today and not going to class.” 

 

_ Oh god, no food, that just makes me wanna …  _ Eren heaved and leaned over the edge of the bed, puking into the can Levi had left for him. “Ugh… can I just go die now… I feel terrible…” 

 

“Well of course you do. You drank half a fucking bottle of jaeger last night. What the fuck did you think was going to happen? Now I’ll be skipping class too to make sure that you don’t hurt yourself until your head is clear again.” Levi rolled his eyes and started to get out of bed.

 

“Aw, that’s mean. I thought you loved me though.” Levi froze halfway out of bed, catching himself when he lost his balance and almost fell. His head whipped back, looking at Eren with barely contained shock and embarrassment. “Careful there, Heichou,” Eren winked. “You almost made an expression.” Eren groaned and fell back against the bed, closing his eyes again. “I’m just gonna stay here for a while.” 

 

Levi stood in shock.  _ How does he remember that? He was shit faced. What the hell?  _ “What do you remember about last night?” 

 

Eren opened one eye to look over at the older man. “Everything. I meant what I said, too. You know, I’ve never had a drink before the other day and yesterday. I just thought it would make things easier, you know? If I wasn’t so uptight, then I’d be okay. But I don’t think I need that with you. Just having you nearby calms me. And now that we’ve done it… it doesn’t scare me to be touched by you like that... “

 

“How did you even get the liquor, Eren? You’re nowhere near old enough to buy your own.” 

 

“I took it with me from Dad’s stash when I left. Just in case. He didn’t need it anyway. He always came home drunk, so why would he need more at home? Seriously though, if this is the aftermath, I want nothing to do with alcohol ever again...”

 

Levi chuckled and continued out of the room. “Well, I’m glad to hear that you don’t require the assistance of alcohol anymore….You just rest, okay? I’m going to get myself food and work on some homework. Just call if you need me.” Levi checked in on Eren frequently, urging him to drink water. Eventually, he just brought his books to the bedroom and laid in bed with the boy while he studied. He made something light for dinner and managed to get Eren to eat. He knew it would help. 

 

After dinner, the two lay in bed, Eren curled up in Levi’s arms.  _ Oh! I wonder if Levi would like some music… I heard one the other day that I really liked. I meant to show it to him.  _ The boy reached over Levi to his phone and pulled up his music. Pressing play, he put it back and snuggled back into the warmth around him. 

 

Levi turned his head, looking down at the boy. “You listen to classical music?” He had instantly recognized Clair De Lune. It was one of his personal favorites. 

 

Eren hid his face in the older man's chest. “Y-yeah… Ever since the day you first took me home… I heard it in my dream, and… Then suddenly you were there saving me from my nightmare… Now whenever I listen to it… It just kinda feels like you're there with me when you can't be…” 

 

Levi's breath caught in his throat at that.  _ Really…? That's the sweetest thing I think I've ever heard.  _ He kissed the boy's forehead, his lips lingering before he laid his cheek against it. “You know I'm only a phone call away if you ever need me. I'll drop everything and come. No questions asked.”

 

The brunette yawned, fading fast. “Yeah… I know… Love you, Levi…” 

 

Steady arms tightened around the boy, “Yeah, I love you too, kid.” The two fell into a deep sleep in each other's arms. 


	12. Safe Place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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Levi groaned, rolling out of bed.  _ Ugh.. At least today is Friday. It should go fairly quickly, then we’ve got all weekend. Maybe I should take Eren somewhere this weekend… We haven’t really done anything fun. Hmm… Oh! I’ll take him to the aquarium. That’s fun. We’ll have to go on Sunday though… Fewer people. That would be better for Eren. I’ll ask him about it later. I guess I should get breakfast started; that way we can eat as soon as Eren gets up.  _ Levi made his way to the kitchen, pulling out the ingredients for pancakes, and got to work.  _ He liked these last time, and they’re easy. _ Levi hummed softly to himself while he cooked. Even with the mess of yesterday, he was in a pretty good mood today. 

 

Not too long after he started, Eren wandered into the kitchen in nothing but his sweat pants again,  rubbing his eyes. “Morning, Levi…” the brunette yawned and went to his perch on the counter. He tried to watch Levi cook as much as he could. He was learning, but he also just liked to watch the lithe man. 

 

Finishing breakfast, Levi turned off the burner and crossed the kitchen. Placing himself between Eren’s legs, he wrapped his arms around the boy’s waist. “Good morning…” the raven haired man purred.  _ I really want him… I held back all day yesterday since he felt like shit.  _ Levi stood on his toes, reaching up to place a lingering kiss on the boy’s soft lips. His slid his hands down to cup the brunette’s rear, squeezing it softly. He smiled when Eren’s breath caught. “Since you wanted me soooo badly Wednesday night… Maybe I should oblige now.” Levi let his hot breath spread down the boy’s neck as he kissed down to his shoulder. Pulling Eren off the counter, Levi pressed his body against the boy’s naked chest. His mouth was next to his ear. “You know how hard it was to hold back yesterday?” He was filled with smug satisfaction as he felt a shiver run through the brunette at his words. “All I could think about was your beautiful mouth and how talented you are with that hot, wet tongue of yours. And how tight you were around my cock. How you moaned and cried out beneath me when I fucked you.” Levi nipped at the boy’s ear lobe, enjoying the mewls he released, Eren squirming under his onslaught. “Let me have you… Right here… Right now… We’ll try pounding a different kind of Jaeger today… This one is nothing but sheer pleasure…” Levi pulled back slightly, looking Eren in the eyes. His own full of deep, dark, desire.

 

Eren swallowed past the lump in his throat, heat spreading through his body with each word Levi spoke. The look in his eyes though, that was all Eren could take. He pressed his hips into Levi’s, moaning at the contact. “I’m game for that. I’m all yours, and you know it.” The brunette was panting with lust, itching for Levi’s touch. “I can’t wait to feel you in me again. You’re fucking amazing…” Eren closed the gap between the two of them, hungrily kissing the older man. Tangling his fingers in the dark hair, he spun them around, pinning Levi against the counter. Breaking from the kiss, he nipped down the man’s neck, biting the sweet spot at the base, his arousal jerking in anticipation when Levi let out a wanton moan. “Fuck, Levi… Your voice is so beautiful…” Eren wrapped his hands around Levi’s thighs, lifting him around his waist, grinding their arousals together. He couldn’t help but throw his head back as a moan escaped him.

 

Levi took the opportunity Eren provided and attacked, kissing and sucking on the boy’s bare neck, his hands hungrily exploring every inch of the brunette’s bare skin they could reach.  _ Oh my god, how is he this good…? He was scared to do anything before. Surely he didn’t learn all this from his “research” the other night.  _ “Christ, Eren, where did you learn how to do this?” 

 

Eren chuckled softly. “I learn fast. I’ve also had a girlfriend or two. I was scared of sex with men, not sex altogether. But that really doesn’t matter right now. What matters is how long it’s going to take to get your cock into me and make us both feel good.” Eren set Levi on the counter and pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor. He licked and kissed down the man’s toned body as his hands went to work removing Levi’s pants. Just as he got to the man’s waist, he stood back up. An involuntary whine escaped from the now breathless man on the counter. Eren grinned and put a finger to Levi’s lips. “Shh, hold on two seconds, I have a plan.” Eren stretched over to the fridge and pulled out a can of whipped cream. “You’re so sweet as is, but this will make it even better.” Eren bit the cap off of the can and let it fall to the floor. Bending down, he took Levi’s length into his mouth, a moan escaping the man’s lips at the sensation. 

 

Just as quickly as the heat was there, it was gone, replaced by a cold sensation down his entire length. Gasping, Levi cried out in shock at the vastly different sensations. “Oh, god… Fuck!” Levi glanced down right as Eren was looking up at him through his mess of hair.

 

“Oh no… it looks like you got dirty…” He slowly licked some of the whipped cream off the tip of Levi’s twitching cock. “Let me clean that up for you…Levi.” The boy dragged the name out as he licked from the base to the tip, making quick work of the cream. A smug smile crossed his face as a breathless Levi shivered at his touch. The brunette closed his mouth over the man’s entire length again, sucking hard, his tongue swirling as he went. He groaned over the length as Levi’s fingers threaded in his hair, pulling at it. He let the man pull his head back, looking up at him through hooded eyes. “What do you want me to do, Levi… I’m all yours…”

 

Levi’s heart skipped a beat as those lustful green eyes bore into him, Eren’s lips wet and swollen from their exchange. He slid off the counter, his hands going to the boy’s waist, slipping his sweats off his beautiful hips. Levi attacked the boy’s mouth, his hand palming the brunette’s now free erection. “I want you with your hands on this counter. I want your beautiful ass, and I want you now,” he growled in a low sexy voice, his breath hot on the boy’s lips. 

 

Eren did as he was asked, hands on the edge of the counter. Arching his back, presenting his ass to the sex god behind him. “Levi… I want you deep inside me… Give me your cock… please... “ Levi went to suck on his fingers to get them wet but Eren got an idea and stopped him. Grabbing his wrist, the boy brought Levi’s slender fingers to his own mouth. Locking eyes with Levi he slowly sucked on each finger, swirling his tongue, getting them dripping wet, his cock twitching in desire as Levi’s eyes darkened. 

 

“That’s good enough, brat.” Levi pulled his hand back and slipped a finger into the boy’s twitching entrance. He teasingly slid it in and out, smirking as Eren whined with need.

 

“More, Levi… that’s not enough… give me more…” Eren moaned in pleasure when Levi added another digit, pushing back against his touch.  _ God, this is amazing… he’s so sexy… and he knows exactly what he’s doing… _ Eren cried out as white hot pleasure shot through him. “F-fuck, Levi, r-right there!” His cock dripped as he shuddered in ecstasy, Levi hitting his spot over and over again. His knees grew weak as the man added a third digit, spreading him open. The brunette whimpered as Levi withdrew, grabbing him by the waist. 

 

“Now, now… Who told you you could go down, keep your ass right where it is.” Levi positioned himself at Eren’s dripping hole, teasingly slipping in just his tip. “Tell me what you want Eren…” He purred. “I can’t do anything if you don’t tell me what you want.” Eren tried to push his hips back, his body needing the rest of the man’s length, but Levi’s firm grasp kept him still. “Ah, ah, ah… that’s not what I said.  _ Tell me. _ I want to hear you say it, Eren…”

 

The brunette cried in frustration. “You! I want you, Levi. I want all of you, inside me. Please! I want your big, hot cock in me, please…” Eren begged, desperate for the warmth that only Levi could provide. His breath caught as Levi slammed into him, crying out in bliss as he was filled with the man’s hard length. “F-Fuck! Yes… Levi.. more, please more!” Eren rocked his hips as much as Levi allowed, meeting each of his thrusts. He gasped when Levi reached around and grabbed his twitching cock, pumping it in time with each thrust. 

 

“You feel so good Eren… you’re so hot and tight….” Levi moaned, his senses overloading him. He could feel Eren tightening around him and growled. “Don’t you dare come until I say so…”

 

Eren cried in desperation. “L-Levi… I-I can’t… s-so good… I c-can’t hold it much l-longer… Please… please let me just come… I can’t…” He shuddered in Levi’s arms, trying to hold himself back. 

 

Levi could feel his own climax coming quickly. “Go ahead.” He purred, his hand stroking Eren’s erection. “Come with me Eren… come for me…” Levi moaned as Eren tightened around him and fell apart in his arms, his own release immediately after. Riding it out with a final thrust, he wrapped his arms around the boy’s waist, supporting him. He slowly pulled out of Eren, shuddering at the sensation on his now sensitive length. He let both of them sink to the floor as he held the boy close, kissing his back. “You are fucking beautiful, babe….” His head rested against the boy’s glistening back as he panted for air. 

 

_ Babe…? Hehe… I like that… no one has ever called me that… _ Eren could feel the blush on his cheeks at the endearing name. He shifted so that he could face Levi. Taking the man’s face in his hands, he kissed him softly. “Can you call me that more… I love that… No one…” He struggled as he choked up on his words, emotion overwhelming him in the aftermath of their lovemaking. “N-no one has ever called me anything like that…” 

 

_ It just slipped out… I didn’t even mean to call him that… But… shit, if it does this to him, I’ll call him anything he wants. How could no one have ever given him a pet name? Like for real?  _ Levi kissed the boy’s lips, then his nose, then each closed eye before coming back to his lips. “Babe, I will call you whatever you want. Anything to make you happy. And if ‘babe’ does it, then so be it.” He smiled and rested his forehead against Eren’s. Their breathing finally starting to settle. Noticing a small tear roll down the boy’s face, he wiped it away with his thumb. “Shhh. Hey, it's okay…. I know it was good sex, but I don’t think it's worth crying over.” He chuckled and left a lingering kiss on the boy’s still swollen lips. “I love you…but as much as I would love to keep sitting on this dirty floor with you, we have class that I think we are going to be late for now as we both need a shower. And breakfast is getting cold over there.”

 

Eren laughed and started to stand, bracing himself on the counter. “Well… we could save time if we showered together?” A mischievous glimmer in his eye caused Levi to think better of that idea. 

 

“How about a rain check? We’ll be even later than we already are if I go along with that plan. I’ll warm the food back up. You take a shower, then I’ll take one while you’re eating. Kay?” He kissed the boy on the cheek then headed back to the food he had long abandoned. 

 

Eren nodded and wobbled off to the bathroom to get ready for school.  _ Oh my god, I’m sore… But that was so totally worth it…  _ Eren sighed as he let the hot water stream over him.  _ Everything just seems so perfect… Apart from dad coming in two weeks…  _ He counted off the days in his head.  _ 12 more days till the lecture… I just have to make sure I’m nowhere nearby on the 3rd, and everything will be fine…  _  Coming down from his high, Eren couldn’t help but feel as if a dark shadow was looming. 

 

Eren slowly came back into the kitchen, dressed and ready for the day. Levi turned and smiled, offering him a plate of pancakes. “Here you g--” He froze, noticing that something was off. “Hey, babe.. What’s wrong?” He softly brushed a stray lock of hair away from the boy’s ocean eyes.  _ What happened… He was perfectly fine 10 minutes ago…  _ Eren gave his smile that didn’t reach his eyes. Levi’s Eren Alert sprung back to life. 

 

“I’m fine, just tired now.” He took the plate from Levi, letting his face lean into the man’s warm touch before walking over to the table to eat. “Go take your shower so we can get going. I don’t want you to miss any more of your classes.”    
  
Levi reluctantly turned and headed to the bathroom. He got ready as quickly as he \could so he could get back to Eren.  _ Something isn’t right. I wonder if it has something to do with his Dad… but why? That’s not for another two weeks… And even then, I told him we’d go out of town that day, so there’s no chance that their paths will even cross... I wish he didn’t have to worry so much… I can keep him safe, but only if he talks to me…  _ After getting ready, he headed back out to the kitchen to check up on Eren and get his things together for class. He found Eren face down on the couch. He quickly went over to check on him. Sitting on the edge of the couch, he rubbed the boy’s back. “Hey kiddo, talk to me. I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s on your mind.”

 

Eren rolled over on his side so he could see Levi. He knew his eyes were probably red. “I’m scared… Everything is so perfect when you’re here. A-and life has been far from perfect for me… 12 days… that’s how long I’ve got before shit hits the fan… I know it…”

 

Running his fingers through the boy’s hair in an attempt to comfort him, Levi sighed. “Babe… you’re going to be safe. I swear, I won’t let him get to you. I would rather die than let you go through that again… Please… Trust me. We’ll go on a trip that day, anywhere you want to go, as far away as you want to go.” He laced his fingers with Eren’s, kissing the back of his hand.  _ He’s been crying… his eyes are so red… Oh, Eren…   _ “Come on, we need to get to class. I promise, I’ll protect you. So please… Don’t be scared. Trust in me.” 

 

Eren smiled softly and sat up, wrapping his arms around Levi tightly. “O-okay… I trust you… Let's go to class…”  They headed out, getting into the Q7 and leaving for class. Getting out of the car, Eren stumbled but caught himself with the door. Levi quickly went around to support the brunette. 

 

“Careful there, kiddo. Take it slow. I’ll help you. I’m sorry, you’re probably sore.” He snaked his arm around the boy’s waist, supporting him. “Come on, let’s go.” Checking his watch, he sighed.  _ 8:45… We totally missed Lit… Which means I’ve only got time with him until his next class at 10… I could wait outside the room though and work on my thesis… Would that be creepy? I guess it doesn’t matter. As long as he’s safe and knows I’m there for him, I don’t care.  _

 

Eren limped slightly as he walked alongside Levi. “Are you going to be working on your thesis in the grad lounge? I can swing by after my class…”  _ I don’t want to trouble him, but I don’t really want to be too far from him right now…  _

 

“I was actually thinking that I’d just hang around and wait for you to get out of class. It's only an hour.”  

 

“Oh… Okay… I’d like that…” Eren couldn't help the blush that snuck to his cheeks. He was happy to know that Levi would be nearby. It relaxed him.

 

Arriving at the classroom door, Levi kissed Eren softly. “I’ll be out here waiting for you. We can go get lunch after class.”   
  
The brunette was thankful for the calm that washed over him. Smiling, he made his way into the classroom. “Okay, I’ll see you in a little bit then.”

 

After class, the two of them grabbed lunch from the sandwich shop. As they ate, Levi decided to ask Eren about his idea. “So, I was thinking that we could go do something fun Sunday if you wanted… you know, to get your mind off things and since we haven’t had a chance to do much with school and all the minor emergencies over the last month.” Levi knew that planning the trip was a good decision the second he saw Eren’s eyes light up. 

 

“I’d love to! What are we going to do? I can’t remember the last time I got to go anywhere. Money is always so tight, and on top of that, it’s just easier to not break routine in case… well… you know… If I have an attack or something…But I think it would be okay as long as you’re with me.” 

 

Levi chuckled softly, pleased to see that Eren had perked up. “I was thinking the aquarium? It's only an hour away, so it would be an easy day trip. What do you say?” The man’s heart skipped a beat at the dazzling smile that appeared on the brunette’s face. 

 

“Oh my god! Really? I’ve never been to an aquarium. Yes, that would be amazing! What’s it like? Will there be sharks? OH! Or stingrays? I’ve always wanted to touch one of those… they look cool.”

 

_ Good lord, he is too fucking cute for his own good. How has this poor kid been deprived of even an aquarium trip? That’s so simple… _ Levi tried not to laugh at the boy’s sudden excitement, making a mental note to come up with more weekend trips for the two of them. “Yes, there are sharks, all kinds of them. And I think they have a stingray exhibit. As for what it’s like… Well I guess you’ll find out for yourself Sunday.” The man winked playfully at the excited brunette. “They open at nine, so we’ll want to be leaving the apartment by eight at the latest. That way we have all day to wander.”

 

Eren nodded in acknowledgement and pulled out his phone. He started to look up pictures of aquariums so that he’d know what to expect, barely able to contain his excitement. The rest of the day passed in a blur for him. He hung out in the grad lounge with Levi while he worked on his thesis for a couple of hours, then the duo headed home. Levi made dinner as usual, Eren helping with the dishes. “Hey, Levi?”

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“You’re going home tonight, aren’t you…” Eren had noticed that Levi was out of clothes. He knew what that meant. 

 

“Yeah, I have to. Sorry, kiddo. You know I’m only a phone call away though.” Levi crossed the kitchen, wrapping his arms around the boy’s slender frame. “And I’ll come right back to you if you need me. No questions asked.” 

 

“I know…” Eren answered softly, turning off the water and drying his hands. He turned around in the older man’s arms and let his head fall to Levi’s shoulder, his own arms wrapping around the man’s waist. “I know you will… I’ll be okay. I just don’t like it when you leave. I’m so used to you being around now. I can breathe, and I don’t have attacks when you’re around anymore.”

 

Levi rubbed the brunette’s back softly. “I know… I don’t have a choice though. I have to go do laundry so I have clean clothes to bring back. I’ll be back first thing in the morning though. I promise.” He pressed a lingering kiss against Eren’s smooth neck. “I’ll stay until you’re asleep though.” 

 

Later that evening, the two laid in Eren’s bed, the brunette snuggled into Levi’s chest. He ran his fingers through the boy’s hair and picked up Eren’s phone. “I put some music on here the other day while you were laying around hungover. It's some of my favorite classical music that I think you’ll like… That way you can listen to it when I can’t be here the nights I have to go home.” The lilting music quietly filled the room. 

 

Eren sighed and breathed in Levi’s scent as the music played, allowing his senses to be filled with the man lying next to him and everything that made him think of Levi. “Thank you…. It's beautiful… I think I’ll be okay with this… I love you…”

 

Levi kissed the top of the boy’s head, holding him close. “I love you too. Sleep now…” Shortly after, Eren’s breaths slowed to a deep, rhythmic cadence. Levi slipped out of the bed, adjusting the blankets to cover the boy he left behind. Bending down, he left a lingering kiss on his parted lips. “I really do love you, Eren. I wonder if you realize just how much…” With that, he quietly slipped out of the room. Gathering his things, he went home, anxious about leaving his sleeping brat behind. 

 

Eren was walking to his and Levi’s normal meeting spot. All he could think about was their trip to the aquarium this weekend. Looking up to see if Levi was there yet, the boy froze in his tracks.  _ O-oh, my god… D-dad…. _ Terror gripped the brunette, his breathing coming in short gasps. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Levi off to the side.  Looking back to where Grisha had been standing, he found that the source of his fear was gone. Tears welling in his eyes, Eren ran to Levi’s arms. Holding him tightly, the boy felt all his tension melting away. “Levi…”

 

The older man kissed the brunette softly. “Hey babe… Ready to go home?”

 

“Yeah… Yeah I’m ready. Let’s go home.” Eren laced his fingers into Levi’s as they walked to the car. Suddenly they were home in Eren’s bed with Levi on top of him, pinning his wrists above his head. Using his size against the man, Eren flipped them over. Straddling Levi, he pinned him instead. Kissing down the man’s neck, he ground their hips together, Levi moaning at the contact. Eren slid off of the raven haired man. Gripping the man’s thighs, he spread his legs. Pressing himself at Levi’s already prepared entrance, he slid into him, taking him hard and fast, Levi falling apart in his hands. Eren’s senses overloaded him as he lost himself in the man beneath him. 

 

Eren woke, a nearly painful arousal becoming evident. He moaned softly as he let his hand wrap around his swollen member. Stroking slowly, he remembered the Levi in his dream crying out in pleasure beneath him. Hips bucking, he pressed his erection into his hand. “A-ahh… L-Levi...fuck…”

 

At that exact moment, the man in question was walking through the bedroom door. He froze, Eren’s voice full of desire going straight to his dick. Levi made his way to the bed. Removing the covers from the boy, he set himself in between his legs, a mischievous grin spreading across his face as the boy froze. “Oh, now. No need to stop on my account. You seemed to be doing just fine on your own.” He purred as he took the boy’s knee in hand, slowly kissing down the inside of his thigh. “Go ahead, Eren… keep going. I want to see you pleasure yourself…” Levi palmed his own erection as the boy started to stroke his again. He pulled the boy’s boxers off slowly, lifting his legs up, kissing from his ankle down to his length. “Eren… I want to hear you…” 

 

The boy couldn’t help but moan at the sensations assaulting him. “A-ahh.. Levi...please… D-don’t tease me…” He stroked his length, gasping in surprise when he felt Levi’s tongue at his entrance swirling around, soaking him. Eren moaned, levi slipping his tongue into him. “Oh fuck… Levi..” His hand froze. At the same time, the man ceased. 

 

“Eren, did I say you could stop? Keep going.” When the boy continued, Levi slowly inserted a finger into him, searching for the spot that would bring the brunette the pleasure he desired. Stroking his own erection, Levi bit back a moan of his own. 

 

“L-Levi…. God…. “ His cock twitched in his grasp when Levi found the bundle of nerves that made him melt. “M-more.. Please… Right there, Levi…” 

 

The older man couldn’t help the moan that escaped his lips anymore. “Ahh… Eren… fuck… Come for me, babe… think of just me…”

 

“Oh, Levi! Fu - I’m… I’m not going to... I’m gonna … c-come..” With a shuddered cry, the boy’s release splattered across his chest. 

 

Levi bit his lip as his own release tore through him, a soft groan escaping him. “Nngg… Shit, Eren… that was one hell of a welcome…”

 

The brunette chuckled softly, his breathing coming in small pants. “I didn’t know you’d be here when I woke up. I thought I had time.” 

 

“Well, personally I’m glad I made it in time for the show.” He smirked and crawled over the boy, kissing him softly. “Good morning, Eren.”

 

The boy blushed beneath him, “Good morning, Levi…”

 

Levi brushed stray hair out of the boy’s face, his fingers lingering on his flushed cheek. “Must have had a good dream… care to get up and have some breakfast with me?” Eren nodded, his stomach growling in agreement. After breakfast, the day passed by quickly, the two lounging around the apartment, simply enjoying each other’s company. Eren spent a large amount of time exploring the aquarium’s website, excited for their expedition the next day. 

 

Laying in bed that evening, Eren started to worry. “H-hey Levi… How many people do you think will be there tomorrow?”

 

Levi stroked the boy’s hair in comfort. “Not too many since it’s Sunday. That’s why I’m taking you tomorrow instead of us going today. There will be far fewer people than a normal day. And I’ll be right there with you, so there’s nothing to worry about. Okay?” 

 

Eren nodded and nuzzled into his chest. “I’m really happy that you walked into my class that day… I can’t remember the last time I felt safe… But now, whenever you’re near, I don’t feel like the world is falling in on me. You’re my safe place…” He yawned, his voice trailing off as sleep began to overtake him. “I love you, Levi…” His breathing fell into a deep, rhythmic pace as he fell into slumber. 

 

“Yeah… I know you do, babe… I love you, too…” the older man whispered as he held the boy in his arms. “No matter what, I’ll make sure you always have a safe place to return to.”  


	13. Gravity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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Eren woke abnormally early the next day, excitement coursing through him.  _ Today I get to go to the aquarium! I can’t wait. Why is Levi still asleep. Jesus man, aren’t you excited too? Oh my god… I’m going on a date with Levi.  _ Sitting up, he looked down at the sleeping man next to him.  _ Is this really a thing that's happening right now?  _ He softly brushed his fingers down Levi’s pale cheek before a mischievous thought came to him. He slid a hand down, palming Levi’s crotch, smug satisfaction filling him as the man became hard in his hand.  The boy climbed out of bed when Levi stirred. “Well, now that you’re up. Let’s go.” 

 

A very groggy Levi sat up rubbing his eyes, quickly realizing he now had a problem. “Oi! Brat! Where the fuck do you think you’re going? You can’t just start shit and walk away!” Jumping out of bed, he quickly followed the brunette, grabbing his shoulder and pushing him against the wall. He pressed his body against the boy’s, effectively pinning him in place. “You do  _ not _ get to pull that shit and get away scott free.” Levi ground his hips against Eren’s, a hiss passing his lips at the sensation. “Now, you are going to get on your knees and finish what you fucking started. And  _ then _ we can go.” 

 

_ Oh, wow… note to self, don’t start shit with Levi before he wakes up.  _ Eren swallowed hard before slipping down to his knees. He knew better than to argue at this point, and it was his fault. He hooked his fingers in Levi’s underwear, pulling them down around his thighs. Wrapping a hand around the base of the throbbing member, he took him into his mouth. Sucking and swirling his tongue, he took all of him in, his nose nearly touching Levi’s stomach. 

 

“F-fuck, Eren… H-how even…” Levi fought to keep his head from falling back in pleasure, he wanted to watch every second of this.  _ How is he so good? He’s got all of it in his mouth. No one has been able to do that.  _ He gripped the boy’s hair, pulling just enough to tilt his head up, locking eyes. “Look at me. I want to see you while you suck me.” 

 

Eren swallowed around the hard length in his mouth, Levi moaning at the tightening sensation. Bobbing his head, he sucked him hard and fast. After a few minutes, Levi cried out, his fingers tightening in Eren’s hair. He pushed his length as far in as the boy could handle, his release shooting down the boy’s throat. Tears pricked at the corners of Eren’s eyes as he fought for air; he hadn’t been expecting that and hadn’t had a chance to take a breath first. A strangled sound escaped him. Levi noticed and quickly backed off. The boy swallowed and coughed softly, gasping for air. 

 

“S-sorry, Eren… But shit… You’re fucking good at this…” He no longer felt bad as the brunette looked up at him with a triumphant smile on his swollen lips.  _ He fucking enjoyed that… Note to self…  _

 

“I tried. Sooooooo….. We can go see fishies now?” 

 

Levi tried not to laugh at the complete change in atmosphere. “Yeah, absolutely kiddo. But… what about you? You’re not entirely flaccid there.” He raised a questioning eyebrow. 

 

“I’m good, I’ll just take care of it in the shower….” A dark blush crossed his cheeks in embarrassment. “Besides, I didn’t expect you to do anything. Plus, I’m ready to go now…..soooo yeah.” He got up quickly and ran to the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind him.    
  
_ Ooookaay. Whatever, kid. I’ll just pay you back later when we get home _ . Levi pulled his underwear back up and went to the kitchen to make breakfast while he waited on Eren. Right as he was finishing, the boy emerged, ready for the day. “I just ate. Here’s yours. Make sure you eat it all, that way you’ve got plenty of energy for running around here in a bit. I’m going to go get ready while you’re eating.” The boy nodded,  grabbing his plate and hungrily devouring its contents. Levi couldn’t help but chuckle as he headed off for the bathroom. 

 

Soon the duo were in Levi’s Audi headed to the aquarium. “Hey, can we listen to some of my music while we drive?” Eren asked timidly. Levi glanced over at the boy, the hopeful expression on his face too much. The man handed over his AUX cord. 

 

“Sure, but I get to decide if we skip songs since I’m driving. Got it?” Eren nodded excitedly, a smile filling his face as he plugged in his phone. The conglomeration of music filled the car as they drove.   _ Hm… pretty mainstream stuff. Some of this tells a lot about him though.  _ Levi sat in silence as the music cycled through. 

 

**Paris - The Chainsmokers**

 

**Shut Up and Dance With Me - Walk the Moon**

 

**Mr. Brightside - The Killers**

 

**Control - Halsey**

 

**Stressed Out - twenty one pilots**

 

**Runaway - Ed Sheeran**

 

**Heartlines - Broods**

 

**Cheap Thrills - Kina Grannis**

 

**Goya no Machiawase - Hello Sleepwalkers**

 

**Bleeding Out - Imagine Dragons**

**  
** **Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls**

 

**Car Radio - twenty one pilots**

 

**All I Have - Matt Kearney**

 

**Here (In Your Arms) - Hellogoodbye**

 

**Sing My Love - Chano & 40mp**

 

 

Levi absentmindedly wondered what the Japanese songs were, making a mental note to maybe look them up later for a translation. Pulling into the parking lot, he looked over at the boy next to him.  _ He looks so happy. I want him to always look like that.  _ “You ready to go, kiddo?” 

 

A shadow of apprehension filled Eren’s eyes, his body tensing. “You’re sure there won’t be too many people?” He wasn’t sure why this was bothering him so much. There were hundreds of people on campus, and that had never bothered him before. The tension drained from him as Levi’s warm hand took his own. 

  
“I promise, you’ll be fine. There shouldn’t be many people today, and I’ll be by your side the entire time.” He would be damned if this was anything other than fun for Eren. Squeezing the boy’s hand in reassurance, he got out of the car and walked around to meet Eren. He opened the door and held out his hand. “Come on, babe. I’m right here. It’ll be fun, I promise. You were so excited all weekend…”

 

_ Come on Jaeger, you can do this. They’re just people. You’re around people at school five days a week. Don’t let your anxiety ruin your date. Levi is right here, I’m safe.  _ Eren took the the outstretched hand, sliding out of the car. “I’m good… I know… I am excited. I’ll be okay. You’re here, so I know I’ll be okay.” He smiled at Levi, worry still laced in his eyes, but he was going to do this. The boy held tightly to the older man’s hand as they walked into the building, all worry forgotten as soon as he stepped through the doors. In the main entrance was a floor to ceiling exhibit full of colorful fish. It had hallways on either side of the entrance leading to the remainder of the building. He felt Levi squeeze his hand. Breaking away from the entrancing sight before him, he looked over at the other man, eyes wide with wonder.

  
Levi smiled, thankful that Eren was finally relaxed. “How about you go check out that tank while I go get our admission taken care of? I’ll be right there. I promise.” The boy nodded and kissed the man quickly before bounding off to the glass.  _ Good… I’m glad he likes it. Water is always relaxing, so this place makes the most sense to bring him. It's hard to be anxious when you’re watching fish, and the colors the water gives off are soothing. This should give him a good escape from everything that came up this week and what’s coming soon.  _ Levi went up to the counter and purchased their tickets, constantly glancing over his shoulder to make sure he could still see Eren. 

 

Eren was entranced by the multitude of colors floating through the water in front of him.  _ They’re so graceful…  _ a soft laugh escaped him at his thoughts.  _ Like Levi, they’re graceful like Levi.  _ He imagined what it would be like if the older man was a fish, swimming in the crystal clear water.  _ He would make one hell of a sexy merman. But then I couldn’t have him, so I like him better with two legs instead of a tail.  _ The boy tensed as arms wrapped around his waist, but he relaxed the moment he realized it was Levi. 

  
“Well, what do you think so far?” The older man questioned as he glanced around the boy at the fish. 

 

“It's amazing, there are so many colors. And it's so quiet and relaxing.” The brunette sighed, his eyes never straying from the water. 

 

_ He’s so adorable. I’m glad he likes it. This is just the beginning, though. Wait till we get inside.  _ “Well, you know, there is more than just this one tank. Lots more. You ready to keep going?” The boy finally tore his gaze from the colors in front of him, his wide eyes falling on Levi. 

 

“Yes! I want to see the rest of it!” Taking his hand, Levi led him down one of the hallways. He gasped at the view; the hallway was a tunnel under the tank he had been looking at a moment ago. He was surrounded by water and colorful fish from the floor all the way over his head.  He froze, staring up as a shark swam over him. “Levi, look!” Pointing at the shark as it passed, then looking back to Levi.  _ Oh, wow… He looks beautiful in this lighting. And he’s got such a soft smile… I really love him… he’s doing all this for me.   _ The boy stepped forward, closing the small gap between them. He placed a hand on the man’s face and kissed him softly. “Thank you for this… It’s amazing… I don’t know why you do so much for me, but… Thank you…” 

 

Levi felt his chest tighten a bit at the boy’s words. _ How can he not know why I do this? I’ve told him I love him… Isn’t it natural to want to make the man you love happy?  _ He hoped Eren wouldn’t see the hint of sadness in his eyes as he thought of that. “Of course… I’d do anything to see you happy… I’m glad that you like it so much. I hoped you would.” The two of them walked slowly down the hall, Eren in constant awe of his surroundings. Before long, it emptied out into a huge room full of various displays and educational stations. To the left was a pool with a short rock wall around the edge; that was the first thing that caught Eren’s attention. 

 

“Levi! Oh my god, stingrays! They let you touch the stingrays! Come on, let’s go there first!” Levi smiled and allowed himself to be dragged along by the excited brunette. He kneeled by the wall with Eren, his heart skipping a beat at the blinding smile across the boy’s face as he stuck an arm in the water waiting for one of the creatures to come up to him. “Levi! Look, there’s one coming over here!” The grey flowy creature swam along the edge of the wall, Erens fingertips dragging along as he went. The brunette laughed softly at the feeling. “They feel so neat! They’re soft, it's like your skin, only it's wet too. This is so cool! Levi, you too! You have to feel them, it's amazing!” Eren pulled his own hand out of the water and grabbed Levi’s hand, pulling it back into the water with him. His hand over the older man’s, fingers laced together. 

 

_ Eww. Not the water. So many things could be in that water… _ Before he had a chance to react, it was too late. He was up to his elbow in cold water.  _ Oh well, anything for Eren... _

 

Another stingray came by, swimming just under their hands. “See? Isn’t it amazing?” The brunette looked over, catching eyes with the man next to him. 

 

His breath caught in his throat as their eyes met. “Y-yeah… yeah it is…” He barely noticed the stingray under their hands, his mind preoccupied with the beauty in front of him.  _ How does he do this to me? I’ve never seen him this happy. His eyes are so bright and full of life… I want them to always look like this. I swear, I’ll do whatever it takes to keep him happy…  _ The two stayed at the pool for a while longer, Eren infatuated with the grey creatures. “Hey, do you want to go see the other exhibits? I bet you’d really like the jellyfish. They’re pretty cool.” 

 

The boy stood, drying his arm on his clothes. “Yeah, that sounds neat, let’s go there next!” 

 

Levi cringed, seeing the paper towels just behind the boy. “You know… there were towels right over there…” He pointed to the drying station the aquarium had set up, complete with soap and a sink to wash your hands. He walked over to wash his own hands, hoping that the boy would follow suit. 

 

“Oh, right. Sorry.” His voice fell a little as he walked over to wash his hands as well. 

 

“You don’t have to apologize. I was just pointing it out. You’re fine, Eren.” Levi felt a pang of guilt, knowing the change in the boy’s voice was from him. “Come on, let’s go find those jellyfish.” He held his hand out to the boy as a means of apology, thankful when the boy took his hand and the smile returned. 

 

The two wandered through the exhibits, pausing whenever Eren saw something that caught his attention. They finally made it to the large jellyfish exhibit. A huge cylindrical tank was in the center of the room, stretching from floor to ceiling. Inside were hundreds of the billowy creatures. “Whoa…. They’re so cool! You were right.” There were various tanks around the large room, each with a different type of jellyfish and a different colored light in the tank. The couple wandered around the room, Eren examining each and every tank, a newfound infatuation with each one. After thorough examination, the boy turned to Levi. “Can we go find some turtles? I’ve always wanted to see sea turtles….” 

 

“Sure, I think they’re just a little bit further ahead.” Levi took the boy’s hand, leading him to the next exhibit. After a small amount of searching they found the entrance. It was another overhead exhibit, similar to the tunnel when they came in. 

 

“Wow! Look at them all! This is so neat!” He followed the turtles as they swam overhead. “I can’t believe they’re endangered… Why would anyone do anything to hurt such beautiful creatures…”

 

_ I could say the same thing about you, kiddo…  _  Levi thought as he watched Eren. “Most people don’t do it on purpose. They don’t even know. That’s why you see so much about recycling and not using plastic bottles, things like that. No one really understands the repercussions.” Checking his watch, Levi realized that one of the dolphin shows would be starting soon. “Hey, come with me. I have something that I think you’ll really like. But we need to go now or we’ll miss it.” Eren shot him a curious look before taking his hand and following. 

 

They wove through the remaining exhibits, heading to the oceanarium. Levi prayed that there wouldn’t be too many people there as they walked through the doors. He was relieved to find only about 20-30 people in the seats. “Come on, let’s sit here in the front.”  _ This is going to suck for me, but I know that Eren will enjoy this…  _

 

“What is this? That pool is huge!” Eren fidgeted in his seat, examining the room. After only a few moments, a girl appeared out on one of the rocks in the pool in a wetsuit. 

 

“Welcome to the Dolphin Show! We love getting to play with our friends and they love to perform for all of you! If you don’t want to get wet, then we suggest sitting at least 4 rows away from the pool. If you don’t mind, then stay where you are and enjoy the show!” 

 

“Levi, what does she mean get wet? There’s glass there, there’s no way that it's gonna reach us.” Eren looked at him with questioning eyes.    
  
“Don’t worry about it kiddo, you’ll like this. Trust me.”  _ And hopefully we’ll go home after this, and I’ll be able to change fairly quickly…  _ With that, the show began. They showcased the dolphin’s speed and intelligence, the height of their jumps, and how they interacted with their handlers. After about 15 minutes of showing off, all of the dolphins they had in the pool rushed the glass, leapt into the air, and came back down with a large splash, effectively spraying water all over the first few rows. Eren squeaked in surprise as he was thoroughly splashed, an outburst of laughter following.

 

“Oh my god, Levi, you’re soaked!” The boy held his stomach, laughing. “Your hair is ruined now, I hope you know that.” 

 

Levi couldn’t help the scowl that crossed his face. He knew that he wouldn’t like this, but seeing Eren laugh was worth it. Sighing, he looked down to assess the damage. He paused when warm fingers ran through his now wet hair. Looking back up, his eyes met Eren’s dancing green ones. A defeated smile crossed the older man’s face as he chuckled softly. “I’m glad you had fun.”

 

Eren leaned over and kissed the man softly. “I had the best day of my life. Thank you, Levi.” The boy stood, grabbing the man’s hand. “Let’s go home. I think we’ve seen everything, and if I know you, then I know that you’re dying to get a shower and some clean clothes.” He stood, walking alongside the boy as they made their way toward the exit. 

 

“Oh, here, take my key and go ahead and go to the car. I’ll be right behind you.” Eren shot him a quizzical look but took the keys and headed out the door. Once he knew Eren couldn’t see him, Levi darted into the gift shop.  _ He loved those stingrays the best I think…. Where are they… Ah! There!  _ The man grabbed a large stuffed stingray and got in line.  After paying, he quickly made his way to the car. Eren was dozing off in the passenger seat when he got in. Levi carefully set the stuffed animal in the boy’s lap then waited for him to stir. 

 

The boy rubbed his eyes, glancing over at Levi. “Oh, you’re here. What are you grinning about?” He then looked to the weight in his lap and gasped. “Oh my god! Did you get this for me? It's so cute!!” Eren hugged the stingray to his chest in joy. “I’m going to name him…..Levi! That way I can always have you around. He can be your stand in when you have to go home.” 

 

Levi wasn’t too sure how he felt about the name, but if it made Eren happy, then more power to him. Pulling out of the lot, the duo headed home. Levi’s classical music filled the car as Eren dozed next to him, his stingray in his arms. Once they were back at the apartment, Levi gently woke Eren. “Come on kiddo, we’re home. Let’s get you inside and to bed; you look exhausted.” 

 

Eren nodded and followed Levi into the apartment. Levi grabbed clean underwear and took off for the shower. Eren chuckled at the man’s antics.  _ He hates being dirty, it's kinda funny… He was beautiful today though, and really considerate…  _ Eren’s mind went back to his dream from this morning, the memory having an instant effect on him.  _ I want him… And I didn’t get to mess around at all this morning… I wonder if he would let me top…  _  Eren slipped out of his clothes and laid on the bed in nothing but his boxers, his stingray on the pillow next to him. 

 

Levi wandered out of the bathroom, a towel over his head from drying his hair. He froze at the sight his eyes fell on. Eren in his tanned, naked glory laid out on the bed with his arousal straining against his boxers.  _ Oh, fuck me…  _ His own member was now at attention as he sauntered over to the bed, the towel dropping to the floor on the way. Levi knelt over the boy, placing a lingering kiss on his lip. He supported himself with one hand, the other trailing down the boy’s body to palm his erection. Eren gasped at the touch, Levi taking the opportunity to invade as the boy’s lips parted, their tongues fighting for dominance over the kiss. 

 

_ Oh no, I’m in charge for this one…  _ Eren looped his leg around Levi’s knee and deftly flipped them, pinning Levi’s hand above his head. Shock filled the man’s eyes, then understanding as he saw the dark, hungry look in Eren’s green orbs. 

 

A streak of apprehension filled the man.  _ Wait… I don’t know how I feel about this… I’ve never been on bottom…  _ “E-Eren… W-wait…” 

 

The boy used his free hand to caress the man’s face, thumb tracing over his now swollen lips. “Shh, my turn. I know what I’m doing, Levi. Trust me…” the boy purred, throwing Levi’s words back at him. Closing the gap, the boy captured his lips, dominating the kiss with a passion Levi hadn’t seen from the boy yet. Levi used his free hand to trace down the boy’s back, pressing the brunette’s hips into his own. He moaned into the kiss as their arousals collided. 

 

“F-fuck, Eren… Babe, j-just… be gentle… Y-you’re the first…” Eren broke the kiss to lock eyes with Levi, a possessive fire in them. 

 

“I promise I will be. I’ll make you feel so good, you won’t be able to think straight.” The boy sat up, kneeling between Levi’s legs. Following the older man’s example, he slowly kissed from his ankle down to the inside of his thigh. Hooking his fingers in the man’s underwear, he made quick work of removing it. He then did the same thing to the other leg. By now, the older man was panting beneath him, his dripping cock twitching in anticipation. “My, my… Do you want me that badly, love?” Eren’s eyes never left Levi’s as he took the man’s arousal in hand. He began flicking his thumb across the slit, spreading his juices as he stroked his length. “You’re already dripping so much… You dirty boy…” Eren took advantage of the uncommon confidence that emerged when he was with Levi. He leaned down, tongue trailing along the man’s length. Levi groaned at the touch. 

 

“D-don’t tease…” Levi squirmed, his body growing hotter.  _ Good god, what is he doing to me… _ Eren placed his fingers at the man’s lips. Levi hungrily took them into his mouth, thoroughly coating them, making a mental note to invest in some lube the next time he went to the store. 

 

Once Eren was satisfied, he gripped the man’s thigh, pushing it up to reveal his tight ass. Placing a finger at the entrance, he pressed into him. A strangled cry slipped from Levi’s throat. “A-ah… E-Eren… I don’t like it.. It feels weird..” 

 

The boy turned his head, pressing soft kisses along the man’s leg. “Shhhh it’s okay, love, I know. It’ll feel better soon, I promise. Trust me, Levi, I won’t hurt you.” Eren continued slipping his finger in and out until the man relaxed. He added another digit, stretching him slowly. Levi continued to squirm under him, biting his lip to keep from crying out. “Don’t hold your voice in, I want to hear you. I want to hear your beautiful voice…” As he added a third finger, Levi cried beneath him.

 

“Eren…! Nng… I don’t… hah…” He couldn’t decide how he felt about the intrusion. It was strange, but it did feel good. Before he had a chance to think on it much longer, Eren’s slim fingers were gone. Levi whined and opened his eyes to see the boy quickly removing his boxers. He froze as the boy positioned himself at his entrance. “Oh, god… please… b-be careful, Eren…” The boy slowly pushed into him, his hard length filling the slender man. A strangled cry caught in his throat at the sensation, tears pricking the corners of his eyes.  _ Fuck, it hurts. It’s not supposed to hurt..  _ “Eren, stop! W-wait… Please.. Don’t move… H-hurts…” 

 

Eren leaned forward capturing the man’s lips in his own, trying to distract him. He knew it would hurt a little if this was his first time, but it would be worth it.  He brought his hand to Levi’s face, wiping a stray tear with his thumb. “Shh… It’s okay. I promise you’ll feel better soon. You just have to adjust.” He softly kissed Levi’s scrunched up eyes, then his forehead, and back to his lips. “Just say when…”

 

The pain started to fade. Levi figured now was as good a time as any. “G-go ahead… I think it’s okay..” Eren slowly pulled out to the tip before slipping back in again. The man winced at the slight sting that still lingered, but after a few thrusts, it started to feel good. Then suddenly, pleasure washed through him. “Oh, fuck!” His head fell back as he arched off the bed. “E-Eren, right there. Keep hitting right there!”  _ Holy fuck… This is amazing… How have I never done this before… _

 

Eren thrusted into him, the sensation completely different than being with a woman. “Fuck, Levi… you’re so hot… And you’re so tight around my cock… S-so good…” He could feel the pressure building and knew that he wouldn’t make it much longer. “Levi… touch yourself… Come with me…I’m not gonna make it much more…” 

 

Levi wrapped his hand around his length, stroking in time with Eren’s thrusts. He moaned in pleasure as he was brought closer to his climax. After a hard, well placed thrust, Levi fell apart. His release covering his chest.

 

Eren moaned, shuddering  as Levi tightened around him, milking his climax. “F-fuck, Levi…” Eren pulled out, collapsing next to Levi. He draped an arm over his still trembling body, placing feather light kisses on the man’s shoulder. “You are fucking amazing… How was that for a first time?” Eren couldn’t help but grin in triumph. It felt good to know he was Levi’s first. 

 

“That was far better than I was expecting…. I don’t know why I never tried it before. You’re the amazing one, babe.” Levi’s breathing slowly returned to normal. He wasn’t particularly fond of the liquid dripping out of his ass however. “I think I need another shower…” Climbing out of bed, he winced at the pain in his back.  _ Shit… I’m gonna be hella sore for class tomorrow… _ Turning the water as hot as he could stand, he climbed in and let the water flow over him.  _ That fucking hurt to begin with… I’m glad it got better… Oh, god… If that hurt with how careful Eren was, even with preparation… I can’t even imagine what it must have felt like when his dad…  _ Levi covered his mouth both from shock and the wave of nausea that washed over him.  _ I swear… If I ever find the fucker… He is dead. How dare he touch Eren… _ He made quick work of rinsing himself out and then washing again. After drying off, he wandered back into the bedroom in search of another pair of underwear. He smiled seeing Eren. The boy was still naked, curled up in the middle of the bed with his new stingray clutched to his chest.  _ Huh… I guess he wasn’t kidding when he said it would be my stand in. That’s about how he lays with me.  _ Levi climbed into bed next to him, carefully pulling the stuffed animal from his arms. “Now, you listen to me, you little shit.” He stared at the little black button eyes. “You will not be my replacement when I’m here. End of discussion.” He tossed the stingray to the other side of the bed and coaxed the sleeping Eren onto his chest. He sighed and contentedly drifted off to sleep with his brat safely in his arms. 

 

The next morning as Levi limped around making breakfast, he started to think about where he could take Eren next week during the asshole’s lecture.  _ Hmm… I think there’s an orchestra that’s going to be playing a few hours away that day… we could go to that… I’ll have to ask him once he’s up.  _

 

Eren wandered into the kitchen a few minutes later dressed for class. Coming up behind Levi, he wrapped his arms around his waist and rested his chin on the man’s shoulder. “Morning… what are you making? It smells delicious.” 

 

Levi turned his head, kissing the boy’s cheek. “Just bacon and eggs, nothing fancy. You’re so easily impressed with my cooking. I’ll never understand.” 

 

“It's easy to be impressed with anything you do, Levi. You’re perfect at everything.” Eren grabbed his plate after Levi filled it and jumped up to his spot on the counter to eat. He watched Levi eating his own food over the edge of his plate. “You look like you’re thinking too hard about something… What's on your mind?” Levi’s eyes widened slightly as he looked up at Eren. “Your eyes tell me everything. They give you away every time.”

 

He could feel the heat in his face as he blushed at Eren’s comment.  _ Shit… Do they really? I’ll have to work on that… But I guess I don’t mind if Eren knows.  _ “I was thinking about where we could go on the 3rd. I heard about an orchestra that will be playing a few hours away. How does that sound? We’d be gone all day. We could even spend that night away if you wanted.”

 

“That sounds like a lot of fun… Let’s do that.” He wanted to sound more excited but he just couldn’t when he remembered why they were going away that day.  _ Eight more days… It’ll be okay though. Levi is taking me away… I won’t be anywhere near him…. _ The two put their dishes away and quickly headed to campus before they were late. 

 

The week passed in a blur. They followed their routine, Eren trying not to think of what was coming the next week, Levi trying to keep him distracted from his thoughts. The weekend was more of the same. Eren spent the majority of his time curled up in front of his laptop watching anime. Levi stayed close to him to ensure that he didn’t get too lost in his thoughts. By Monday, Levi’s Eren Alert had his guard on high. Classes went on like normal, the two deciding to leave campus early for the day as Eren was distracted enough as it was. 

 

Walking across the quad hand in hand, Eren was looking forward to getting home. Levi was telling him about some amazing French meal he had planned, and it sounded delicious. Looking back to the path, he noticed a familiar figure headed in their direction. He gripped Levi’s hand tighter, his chest tightening.  _ Why does he look…  _ He could hear Levi asking if he was okay, but the voice was miles away. Eren’s heart stopped when he recognized the man striding down the sidewalk toward them.  _ Holy fuck. No, no, no, no, why is he here! He shouldn’t be here! _ His lungs froze, refusing to respond to him at all. 

 

_ What the fuck? What’s going on? There is no reason he would be having an attack right now!  _ Levi stood in front of the now not breathing Eren. “Hey babe, breathe, come on…” His eyes locked on the boy’s, but Eren wasn’t looking at him. His terror stricken eyes were locked on something over his shoulder. Levi glanced over his shoulder to see if he could determine what the source of the fear was but saw nothing out of the ordinary, just a few random students and an older man walking down the sidewalk. 

 

Eren grasped at Levi’s shirt, making sure he was still there. His eyes locked with Grisha’s.  _ Why? Why! You’re not supposed to be here yet!  _ Grisha kept walking as if nothing was wrong, turning his attention to the path ahead. A tiny, menacing smile crossed his lips as he walked past the shaking brunette. Eren struggled for air, gasping as his hands fisted in Levi’s shirt. Black started to encroach on his vision, his eyes desperately searching for Levi now that Grisha was no longer in his line of sight. 

 

Levi could feel Eren starting to sway. Finally, his wide eyes found their way to Levi’s, and he knew he didn’t have much time before the boy passed out.  _ Fucking hell. I’ve got to get him out of here.  _ Just as Eren’s knees started to give out under him, Levi scooped him up into his arms and quickly made his way to the car. Once he had the boy safely in the Audi, he pulled out a bottle of water and tried to get Eren to take it. “Come on, babe, breathe for me. Inhale, exhale.” He exaggerated his own breathing, just like he had done what felt like forever ago when he had first met the boy. It was far scarier now, though, with how much Eren meant to him. “Eren, breathe, you’re safe. I’m right here. Please…”

 

Tears welling in the boy’s wide eyes, he met Levi’s gaze, his voice barely a whisper. “Levi… h-h…” 

 

Levi put a hand on his cheek, wiping away the tears and kissing his forehead. “Shhh, just take a breath, it's okay. Take your time.”

 

“H-he’s h-here….” With that, the boy broke down, sobs wracking his body as he clung to the man in front of him. 

 

Levi’s blood ran cold at the boy’s words.  _ FUCK.  _ He wanted to hold Eren, to tell him it would be okay, that he was safe. But he knew as long as that man was on their campus, it wasn’t safe. He had to get Eren out of there.  _ Home… I need to get him home. Now.  _ “Eren. Eren, listen to me. I need you to sit in your seat and buckle up. I’m gonna take us home. I swear, I’m going to make sure you’re safe, but we have to get home.” Eren nodded and resituated in the seat. Buckling his belt, he hugged himself, trembling in fear. Levi jumped in the driver’s seat. Laying a reassuring hand on Eren’s thigh, he took off toward the apartment. 


	14. Two Steps Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo...... Yeaaahhhh.... We love you all, this chapter is great! But... Lots of drama XD
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> Gashes drip, weep  
> No matter the tape  
> Sew the wounds  
> Lest the pain spill still  
> Close the doors  
> Airtight doors to seal up the holes  
> But a door, jammed with a body  
> Stays open until the end

Levi supported Eren, an arm around his waist as they walked through the door of the apartment. Setting him on the couch, he went back to the door and locked it. He wasn’t taking any chances. Hurrying back to the couch, he sat next to the boy, gathering him into his arms. Stroking his hair, Levi tried to keep the boy calm. Eren trembled in his arms, his breathing ragged. 

 

“L-Levi… what do I do… he knows I’m here… He’s here… What if he finds me…” The boy gripped at the man’s shirt, fear filling him. 

 

“Shhh… babe… I promise, you’re safe. I won’t let him get you. I’ll stay by your side.” Levi kissed the top of the boy’s head, holding him close. “Babe, you’re safe…. You’re safe… Hey, how about I make you some tea? That will make you feel better.” He made a move to get up from the couch, but Eren’s grip on him tightened. Pain shot through his chest. His brat was hurting, and he didn’t know how to fix it. Scooping the boy up, he carried him with him to the kitchen. He set him down on the counter by the stove and managed to get water started for tea without straying too far from the boy.  _ His breathing still hasn’t returned to normal, and he’s still trembling…. I don’t know what else to do… I swear, I want to fucking kill the bastard!  _ Standing in front of the boy, he gently rubbed Eren’s thighs while waiting for the water. 

 

Eren squeaked and nearly jumped from the counter when the kettle started to whistle next to him. Levi quickly had his hands on Eren’s face, calming him. “Shhh you’re okay. It's just the water. You’re safe.” He managed to keep a comforting hand on him while making them both tea. Handing Eren his mug, he watched to boy intently.  _ Come on… just take a sip… calm down… I won’t let him get you, trust me… _ He sighed quietly in relief as the boy shakily took a sip of the warm liquid.  _ Okay, this is progress.  Just a little bit, but something.  _ “That’s a good boy. Just relax and drink some tea… Do you want to stay here? Or go back to the couch? Or we can go lay in bed, and I can turn on your classical playlist? You’re in charge tonight.”

 

The boy stared, unseeing, into the dark liquid in his cup. “Bed…” he whispered.  Levi nodded, urging the brunette to finish his tea first. Once he had drained the cup, the man picked the still trembling boy up and carried him to bed, making sure to grab one of their phones on the way. He dropped the phone on the nightstand, starting the classical playlist, then laid the boy on the bed and wrapped himself around him. Rubbing circles into his back, his legs tangled up with Eren’s as he kissed the top of his head. The hours dragged on as Eren drifted in and out of sleep, the trembling coming and going but his breathing never regulating. Levi dozed a few times but always woke whenever he felt Eren shift in his arms or have more difficulty breathing. 

 

The next morning, Levi groggily rolled out of bed and wandered to the kitchen to start breakfast. No sooner had he set the pan on the stove than Eren appeared, wrapping his arms around the man’s waist. Stifling a yawn, he looked back over his shoulder. “Morning, babe. How are you feeling? Did you get any sleep last night?” The boy nodded against Levi’s back but remained silent. 

 

_ He’s exhausted… He never yawns… He didn’t sleep last night because of me… I hate that… But… I’m scared… I don’t know what to do or what to say… Dad hasn’t shown up yet. Maybe he won’t. Maybe I’m still safe. As long as Levi is here, I’m safe…. He promised… I trust him…. _

 

Levi made breakfast in silence, working as best he could with Eren attached to his waist. Finally, he got the food plated and turned in the boy’s arms. Kissing him softly, he brushed stray hair out of Eren’s face. “Table or couch? You can pick.” 

 

Eren placed a hand on the back of Levi’s head, holding him to his chest and kissing the top of his head. “Couch is fine…. I’m sorry…” The brunette took his plate in one hand and Levi’s hand in the other, letting the older man pick up his plate before leading them to the couch. He snuggled up to Levi, curling his legs under him after they sat down. The pair ate in relative silence, one too tired for conversation, the other mentally at his limit. 

 

The day passed slowly, Eren rarely leaving Levi’s side. He did let the older man make lunch for them without having to be in the same room with him. He could see Levi’s energy draining the more the day went on and couldn’t help but feel guilty. “Hey, Levi? How about we get Chinese for dinner? There’s that place just down the road, we can call ahead, and you can just pick it up. That way you don’t have to cook anymore today…”

 

Levi’s eyes widened slightly. That was the most Eren had said at one time in over a day. “Sure… If that’s what you want.” Levi called and ordered the food, then wandered around the apartment collecting his wallet and keys. Slipping his shoes on, he looked up at Eren. “Well… Come on, kiddo.”

 

Eren’s chest seized at the thought of leaving the safety of the apartment. “L-Levi… I can’t… I-I’ll just wait for you here… you’ll be gone, what? 10 - 15 minutes at most?”

 

“Are you sure…?” Levi eyed the boy skeptically. “If you insist on staying here, then I have a condition that must be met. You  _ must _ stay on the phone with me the entire time. Understand?” Eren nodded solemnly and retrieved his phone. He pressed Levi’s number and let the phone ring. Levi answered the call on his own phone before heading out the door. “I’m serious, Eren. Put me on speakerphone if you don’t want to hold it, but stay on the line.” Levi quickly made his way to the car, too preoccupied with listening to Eren to notice the shadowy figure just beyond the lot. 

 

After waiting for the green SUV to pull out of the lot, the tall figure emerged from the shadows, a smug smile crossing his face as the only thing between he and Eren drove away. With calculated steps, he strode down the hall toward the door marked 104. 

 

Eren sat on the couch, his phone laid on the empty space next to him where Levi would normally sit. He could hear the car door shut as Levi headed into the restaurant. He sighed, wishing that he was back already.

 

“I almost didn’t recognize you when I passed you on campus. You’ve grown into a fine young man.”

 

Eren’s heart stopped at the deep voice behind him. He slowly reached to his phone, pressing the volume button to turn the sound all the way down. He knew that voice. And he knew he was in trouble. But Levi was on the other end of the line. He would hear him. He would save him. It would be okay.  _ Levi promised I’d be safe. He’ll make it back in time.  _ “Dad…” Eren stood slowly, turning toward the door. The tall man was staring him down with cold eyes, blocking the only escape. 

 

“It’s so good to see you again, son,” he purred. “I didn’t know it was possible for you to be an even bigger piece of shit than you already were, but I guess I was wrong. Your little boyfriend looked tired. Are you too much of a handful for him? Fucking fag. Disgusting, the both of you.” He sneered and took a step toward the brunette. 

 

Levi was walking out of the restaurant, food in hand, when he heard a voice that he didn’t recognize on the other end of the line. He froze, nearly dropping the food in his hands.  _ Please… for the love of god, don’t let it be him… _ His heart stopped the moment he heard Eren say “Dad.”  _ Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! That bastard! How did he find Eren?  _ Levi was already racing back to the car. He fumbled with his phone, punching the mute button so he wouldn’t give away that there was an audience. His chest tightened in fear at the possibilities that lay ahead if he didn’t get back in time. 

 

Eren took a step back. Hitting the coffee table, he lost his balance and fell back into it. Grisha chuckled darkly. “Good… you still remember.” He took another step toward the boy. “I wonder what that boy would think if he could see you now? That queer would probably be too much of a pussy to stick around.”

 

Amidst the fear, Eren felt anger welling inside him. “Don’t you fucking dare talk about Levi like that!” He struggled to get up. Despite all his thoughts screaming at him to run, he took a step toward Grisha. He refused to let him talk about Levi that way. “He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me! He --” Without the barrier of the couch between them, Grisha closed the gap, grabbing Eren by the front of his shirt. He swiftly elbowed Eren in face, the impact sending the boy falling back into the couch, a cry of pain escaping him as his back hit the arm. 

 

_ Oh my god. EREN! _ Levi was struggling to breathe as he sped down the road.  _ I have to call the police. They have to catch him in the act. That means I have to hang up on Eren though… what if he sees…. He’s going to think that fucker was right… No, it doesn’t matter. I can explain it to him later. First, I have to get him safe.  _ With a shaking hand, Levi hit the end button, the weight on his chest magnifying as if he had sealed Eren’s fate with that single action. He quickly punched in 911 and began to give information to the dispatcher. 

 

Tears were now falling from the brunette’s eyes as he turned his head in pain.  _ As long as he’s still there… He’ll come for me… _ His heart sank as he saw the call end on the screen.  _ He hung up… He’s not coming… No one is going to save me now…  _ Eren shut down like he had learned to do all the years he had lived with this monster. He was resigned to his fate. If Levi wasn’t going to be there anymore, he prayed that Grisha would kill him this time and be done with it. The tall man grabbed Eren’s ankle and dragged him from the couch to the floor, the boy’s head hitting with a sickening thud. The man straddled him to keep him down as he undid his pants. Holding Eren down with one hand, he unbuttoned the boy’s pants with the other. The brunette started to struggle but was no match for Grisha. 

 

Levi lept out of the car as soon as it was in park. He raced to the apartment as he fought for air, stumbling as dizziness threatened to overtake him. Swinging the door open, he looked up just as Grisha’s fist connected with Eren’s jaw, the boy falling limp on the floor. Dizziness forgotten, Levi saw red as anger took over. Rushing in, he seized the opportunity while Grisha was distracted with the boy under him. He landed a well placed kick to the man’s head, knocking him away from Eren. The man fell to the floor, unresponsive. Levi dragged Eren to the other side of the room, putting as much distance between them and Grisha as he could. He leaned the boy against the wall and took his face between his hands. “Eren! Eren, talk to me! What did he do to you?” Levi took a once over of the boy, his eyes immediately falling on his undone pants.  _ I’m going to kill the bastard….  _ He tried to get Eren to breathe, the boy so far withdrawn that his voice wasn’t reaching him. 

 

_ I hear Levi… I know he’s the one who stopped Dad… What’s he saying? I’m so tired… I can’t sleep… That’ll scare Levi… I can’t do that to him... _

 

The police came through the door at that moment, Levi quickly pointing to the man who was starting to stir across the room. The paramedics entered next, rushing over to the pair and starting to examine Eren. Finally reacting, he screamed. “No! Don’t touch me! Don’t fucking touch me!” He lunged toward Levi, wrapping his arms around the man’s neck as he sobbed. “Levi, please… Just make them go away… Don’t let them touch me…”

 

Levi held the boy tightly, trying to hold back his own emotions as they threatened to overwhelm him. It killed him to see Eren like this, but at least the bastard was in custody now. “I’ve got him, gentlemen, thank you. If anything happens, I’ll bring him to the ER. I believe he’s better off here at home for the time being.” The paramedics nodded and backed away, leaving Eren in Levi’s care. As the police walked a cuffed Grisha out the door, an officer came over to the duo on the floor. 

 

“We’ll need a statement from both of you as soon as possible. You do understand, I’m sure.” The officer pulled out a small notepad and waited patiently for the information he wanted. 

 

“Yes, of course. I doubt that you’re going to get much out of Eren tonight though…” Levi looked down at the boy in his arms. Eren was shaking his head.  _ Yeah… That’s what I thought.  _ “I’d be happy to answer any questions I can now though if that would help you?” 

 

“Yes, anything at all. Tell me what you know.”

 

Levi took a deep breath, his hold on the boy in his arms tightening. “I left the apartment to go pick up food down the street. We were on the phone because we knew that Dr. Jaeger was in town. After his wife passed, he started abusing Eren physically and sexually. Eren was distraught to know he was back. Anyway, while we were on the phone I heard a man start talking in the background, Eren got quiet, then I heard him say ‘Dad.’ The man kept saying things, and I couldn’t understand him very well, but from what I could understand, he was insulting me and Eren. Eren stood up to him, and then I heard what sounded like someone being hit, then Eren crying out as someone fell. That was the point when I hung up the phone to call 911. I was back here within five minutes of hanging up. I came in the door and saw Dr. Jaeger on top of Eren, straddling his waist and punching him. He had his own pants undone and had started to remove Eren’s. I took the opportunity while he was distracted to incapacitate him. I kicked him off of Eren and got him as far away from Dr. Jaeger as I could, then you fine gentlemen showed up. You know the rest of it.”

 

The officer was scribbling away as Levi talked, nodding as the man finished his statement. “Thank you for your time. Eren doesn’t have to give a statement if he doesn’t want to… but I would advise it. Without solid evidence, it's very likely that someone like Dr. Jaeger will be out within a couple of days.”

 

Levi understood all too well what powerful people were capable of when it came to weaseling out of situations like this. He would have to help Eren talk one way or another. “Of course, officer. Thank you.” The officer nodded and turned to leave, closing the apartment door behind him. 

 

The man immediately turned all of his attention to the boy in his arms. He kissed the top of his head, trying to convince himself that he was okay. “Eren… I’m so sorry… I should have never left… I’m so sorry…” Levi’s voice cracked as he apologized. He couldn’t cry. He had to stay strong for Eren.  _ I can’t be the one to lose it, I have to make sure he’s good.  _ “Babe, can you stand? Let’s get you to the couch, or bed or something. Let me clean you up…” Levi took Eren’s chin in hand, gently tilting his face up to examine him.  _ The fucking bastard… _ Eren had blood coming from his busted lip, a dark bruise starting to form around his eye from one of the blows. He softly kissed each injury on the boy’s face, careful not to hurt him. Eren uncurled from Levi’s lap and tried to stand, gasping and crying out in pain as he collapsed back into Levi. “What’s wrong? What hurts? Talk to me, Eren…” The man was already in full on red alert mode, and this wasn’t helping. “Maybe we should go to the ER after all. What if there’s something seriously injured…”

 

“No! I don’t want to leave! Please…” Eren’s tears started anew as he begged Levi not to take him. “J-just… it's my back… I just need to soak in the bath or something.. I-I don’t know… b-but don’t take me to the ER… Please… I don’t want to see any doctors… I can’t do it.”

 

“Okay…. Do you want a bath now, then…? Or do you want to just lay down…?” 

 

“Bath… please… I want him off of me….” Eren hugged himself, his trembling returning full force.

 

“Sure thing, babe… One bath coming up. I’m all for cleaning you up, anyway.” Levi carefully scooped the boy into his arms, his chest aching for the boy every time he winced in pain at a movement. Walking into the bathroom, he gently set Eren down on the edge of the tub and started to fill it with hot water. As the tub filled, he carefully pulled the boy’s shirt over his head. He hesitated at the already unbuttoned pants.  _ I don’t want to trigger an attack… I know he knows it's me, but… still.  _ “Can I…?” He asked quietly as he rested his hands on the boy’s thighs. 

 

Eren stiffened slightly but nodded. “You’re okay, Levi…. I won’t break… Not right now, at least…”  _ Hard to break something that’s already broken…  _ He shifted to let Levi remove the remainder of his clothes, then stood to get in the now full tub, resting heavily on Levi to help him. He sighed as he sunk into the hot water, the sharp pain in his back dulling slightly. He had expected Levi to leave but was surprised when the smaller man started to bathe him.  _ He’s not all there, either… I can tell… His eyes give him away every time. I don’t get it. He looks exhausted still, more so than earlier, and scared. He looks scared.  _ He wanted to comfort the dark haired man, but he couldn’t will himself to move anymore. Eren’s fingers grasped Levi’s hand as it brushed by them. “Levi… Don’t be scared…”

 

The older man froze, his eyes snapping to Eren’s.  _ How did he know… No one has been able to read me… not since Isabel…  _ “Eren…”  Levi shut his eyes, resting his head on the edge of the tub, silent tears falling as his shoulders shook. “I-I’m sorry, Eren… I’m sorry… It's my fault. I shouldn’t have left… I thought I was too late… I was so scared that… I didn’t know what would happen…”  

 

Eren squeezed the man’s fingers softly. “I’m okay…” Levi lifted his head. Lifting his hand to Eren’s face, he softly pressed his thumb to the boy’s cut lip, his eyes flitting from the injury to the boy’s eyes. They narrowed slightly.  _ He doesn’t believe that for a second.  _ Eren sighed. Closing his eyes, he sank back into the tub.  _ This reminds me of the day I met Levi… I came home and just laid here that night, too…  _ He remembered how cut up he was. He started to wish that tonight was the same.  _ Maybe if I had been like that, Dad wouldn’t have touched me. I miss it… Those lines kept me sane… I still have the blade in here somewhere… Just stay off my arms, and Levi will never know… Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. It’ll keep panic attacks at bay. If I act normal, then Levi won’t be worried, and he can sleep again. I have to do this… I want to do this.  _

 

Levi finished washing the boy, helped him up, and dried him off. Getting him into pajamas, he put him to bed. Changing his own clothes, he climbed into bed as well. Eren curled up against him before he even had a chance to wrap his arms around the boy.  _ He’s too calm… He wouldn’t normally be this calm… What’s going on in that head of yours…  _ the brunette quickly fell asleep, but Levi found no rest that night, too worried that the boy might wake with a nightmare after the night's ordeal. 

 

The next morning as Levi was in the kitchen making food, Eren wandered in and sat at the table, a distant look in his eyes.  _ He never sits there. Even when we eat, it's either the counter or the couch…  _ Levi knew this would be hard on the brunette, but his worry was still eating away at him. He set a plate of food in front of the boy then sat next to him to eat his own. 

 

“I'm not really hungry…” The boy slowly pushed the plate away, staring at the table. 

 

“You need to eat, Eren…”  _ He has literally never turned down my cooking. Ever. He's not okay… I’m going to have to keep an eye on him…  _ The boy got up and wandered around the apartment, finding his school bag and shoes. “Eren? Where do you think you're going?”

 

“School. It's Wednesday. I have class.” 

 

Levi stared at him in shock. “Are you sure that's a good idea? Maybe you should stay home…” The brunette looked like he had just been to a boxing match with his dark, bruised eye, his busted lip, and the slight limp from his back. “Wouldn't it be a better idea to rest today? It's just one class…”

 

Eren shook his head. “No, I need to go. If I don't go out, I never will. Besides, I'm safest right now since Dad is in custody. Might as well take advantage of it.” 

 

“Well, I'm coming with you then. And I'm driving.” Eren shrugged and continued to gather his things. 

 

“Well, come on then if you're coming.” Eren went to the door, freezing at the threshold. 

 

“Babe… are you sure?” Levi questioned as he watched Eren struggle to leave the doorway. The boy took a deep breath before nodding and stepping out into the hallway, heading to the parking lot. They rode in silence to campus, Levi constantly watching Eren out of the corner of his eye. Once they got to campus, the boy made a beeline to his class, never looking up from the path. He shrunk away from anyone who walked past him and flinched anytime anyone said hello to him.  _ He doesn't need to be here yet… But I can't tell him no… _ Arriving at the classroom, Eren stopped. “You okay? We can go home, you know.”

 

“No… I'm here. I'm going to class…. Levi… Where are you going to be?” For the first time all day, Eren looked him in the eyes. The sparkle they had developed over the last few weeks was gone, replaced by the dull, lifeless look he had had the day Levi first met him. 

 

_ Oh, babe… No, don't look at me with those eyes. That's not you…  _ Levi cautiously placed a hand on the boy’s cheek and kissed him softly. “I'll be right here waiting. If you want to leave, just walk out. If you can't walk, then text me, and I'll come get you. Okay?” Eren nodded, then turned and headed to a desk, watching Levi until the professor shut the door. Levi paced outside, constantly checking on Eren through the glass in the door. Finally, class was dismissed, and the boy emerged. He looked paler than before. Levi gently grasped the boy's hand. “Come on, Eren, let's get you home.”

 

Once they were back at the apartment, Eren dropped into the couch and closed his eyes. “Isn’t it a bit early for a nap, kiddo?” Levi asked as he headed to the kitchen to make lunch. 

 

“Nope, never. I’m not sleeping though. Just closing my eyes and letting my back relax some, it still hurts…” 

 

“What sounds good for lunch?” Levi was already pulling out simple things. He had a feeling that would be the best idea for now. 

 

“I’m not hungry. Thanks, though.” 

 

“You need to try to eat something; you can’t just not eat…” Levi made half of a ham and cheese sandwich for the boy and brought it over, sitting next to him on the couch. “Here, this is simple enough. It's better than nothing, too.” Eren sighed and started to nibble at the food. 

 

_ Ugh… This isn’t good… I’m sorry, Levi…  _ His stomach lurched. Quickly setting the plate on the coffee table, he raced to the bathroom. Levi followed close behind, alert ticking up higher. He rubbed the boy’s back as he heaved into the toilet, the brunette crying softly from the pain it caused his back and the frustration of the whole situation.  _ I don’t care about me, but I don’t want to worry Levi… He’s already not sleeping; I can tell.  _

 

_ Great…. He can’t eat again… Well, that’s one step back… I’ll have to keep a closer eye on him. He’s going to self destruct….  _ Levi held the boy carefully once he was done heaving, kissing his forehead as he tried to calm him. “It’s okay, babe, I’m proud of you for at least trying. Do you want some water? Or tea?” 

 

“Water would be good…. Can I just go lay down… I’m sorry…” Levi nodded and Eren climbed out of his lap and limped to the bedroom.  _ I’m sorry, Levi. But I just don’t care anymore…. I’m sorry if I’m worrying you…  _ Levi was in the room with him moments later, a glass of water in hand. Eren took a sip, then set it on the nightstand and curled up in bed. 

 

“Do you want me to lay with you?”  _ I don’t think it would be smart to leave him alone. Not with his past history…  _ The brunette shook his head, hugging his stingray to his chest.  _ You little shit… We talked about this….  _ Levi’s chest ached at the boy’s response. “Okay… Well… If you need me I’ll be on the couch doing some homework…” After about 20 minutes or so, Levi dozed off, papers surrounding him. 

 

Eren quietly padded from the bedroom to the bathroom. He could hear Levi’s soft breathing and knew he wasn’t conscious.  _ Good. That makes this easier. And he desperately needs the sleep anyway.  _ Eren shut the door carefully behind him, then sat on the edge of the tub, pulling his razor out of it's hiding place. He slipped his pants off, then dragged the blade across his thigh. A deep sigh escaped him as an eerie calm settled.  _ This… This is what I needed. I’m sorry, Levi, I’ll probably disappoint you when you find out.  _ After a few more tracks with the blade, he cleaned it and put it back. Sitting in the quiet, he watched the red trail down his legs.  _ I deserve this, no one could possibly love someone as fucked up as I am. I’ll just make it easier on them. I’m ugly and scarred and fucked up.  _ After a while, Eren cleaned up the blood, replaced his pants gingerly, and went back to bed. He stopped short when he found Levi sitting on the edge of the empty bed. “O-oh.. you’re up. You could have kept sleeping, you know…”

 

“If you needed something, you could have gotten me…” He was suspicious. The boy had been in the bathroom longer than any normal person would need to be.  _ I’ll have to watch that… I really hope he isn’t doing what I think… I don’t see anything on his arms… That’s where he did it before...  _ “Eren, come here.” The brunette slowly approached the man. Once Eren was in front of him, Levi reached out and cautiously put his hands on the boy’s hips. He pulled him closer and lifted his shirt with his thumbs, just enough to look but not enough for Eren to realize what he was doing. Finding no marks, he rested his head against the boy’s chest. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right…? I’m here for you…” 

 

Eren wrapped his arms around Levi’s head, his chest aching at the man’s words.  _ I can’t though… you can’t know about this…. I love you too much. I can’t worry you… I can’t be the reason that you keep missing sleep…  _ “I know…” Eren stroked the back of Levi’s head, willing the worry to leave him. “Hey… would you lie down with me? I know you’re tired… just take a nap with me..?” 

 

Levi nodded, moving out of the way so that Eren could climb in bed. He then laid down beside the boy and wrapped his arms around him. “Eren, I mean it… Anything at all… I love you. That’s what people do for the ones they love....” 

 

A tear fell from Eren’s eye as he listened to Levi’s words, felt his heart beating against his back.  _ I know… but I can’t… I’m sorry…  _ With the man’s comforting arms around him, Eren quickly fell asleep. 

 

Levi dozed in and out of sleep, but never truly got any rest. The two didn’t get up until the next morning, Levi approaching walking dead status with how little sleep he was functioning on. The two managed to make it through breakfast and class for the day. As soon as they were home that afternoon, Eren escaped back to the bathroom.  _ What is he doing… I don’t like this…  _ Levi sat at the table with his homework, eyes locked on the closed bathroom door. Eventually, Eren emerged. He looked fine, but Levi was questioning that. Sighing, the man rose and went to make a light dinner. 

 

Once again, Eren couldn’t eat. He managed to take a small bite before pushing his plate away. “Sorry, Levi… I can’t…” Levi sighed and nodded understandingly. Eren got up, leaving the plate and wandering off to the bathroom again. 

 

This time, Levi heard the water from the shower, but it was still too long.  _ I know he’s doing something… Shit. Two steps back. I feel like I’m back at square one with him… He had been doing so well until that bastard showed up…  _ Levi jumped as his phone rang and quickly answered it. He paled as the caller spoke, glancing back at the bathroom door. Letting the caller know that he understood and would talk to Eren, he hung up the phone.  _ Shit… I knew this would happen… I’ve got to convince Eren to give a statement to the police, or Grisha goes free…  _

 

Eren finally emerged from the bathroom, hair still dripping. “Levi? What’s wrong? You’re about four shades paler than you normally are…” Eren was worried. First sleep deprivation, and now he looked like death.  _ What on earth did I miss? Did he figure out what I was doing…? _

 

Levi’s eyes met Eren’s as he swallowed hard. “Eren… You have to go give your statement to the police by the end of the day tomorrow, or they’re letting Grisha go free…”


	15. Heart to Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for posting a day late! We hope you enjoy this chapter!

Eren’s eyes widened in fear, his legs giving out under him as he sank to his knees. Levi was beside him immediately, pulling the boy into his arms. The brunette struggled for air, his body trembling. “Shh… Eren, just breathe. It’s okay. All you have to do is tell the police what happened. I’ll go with you, it's okay. I won’t let him touch you again.”

 

“That’s what you said before!” By now, the tears were falling down the boy’s panic stricken face. “I know that was outside of your control… You couldn’t have known that he was going to show up… But you can’t say that… You don’t know what he’s capable of…” 

 

Levi’s chest seized in pain at the boy’s words.  _ He’s right… I should never have left him… But I refuse to let it happen again. I’ll take him away if I have to. We’ll go as far away as we need to.  _ “I swear… I won’t let him touch you again. I mean it. I’ll take you away with me if that’s what it takes. But for now, let’s just talk to the police. If you give your statement, they can’t ignore it.” 

 

Eren nodded, burying his face in Levi’s chest as he clung to his shirt. “I-if that’s the only way… we can go first thing after class… It’s Friday, so I’m done at 10:50. I’m sure that’s enough time…” 

 

Levi shook his head. “No, I honestly think we need to go first thing. Don’t worry about class.” Eren’s breathing had regulated slightly. Still trembling, he nodded, agreeing with Levi. “Come on, babe… You need some rest… We’ll deal with tomorrow when it comes. And I’ll be there with you.” He stood, pulling Eren up in his arms and making sure the brunette made it to bed alright.

 

The boy thought of the slices he had made on his legs and the ones that he would have to make in the morning just to get through the interview. He thought of how supportive Levi was being and how disappointed he would be if he knew.  _ I need to apologize… He’s going to be so confused, but… He deserves at least that much…  _ “Levi… I’m sorry... “ Eren curled into Levi’s chest as they laid in bed. “I’m sorry…” He sniffled as he tried to fall asleep. 

 

_ What on earth is he apologizing for? He’s done nothing wrong… God, this is like deja vu. He used to apologize incessantly…   _ “What for? You’ve done nothing wrong, Eren… You don’t have to apologize to me…”

 

The boy stiffened at Levi’s words. “Y-yeah I do… I’m sorry…”

 

Levi’s Eren Alert was screaming in his head.  _ What did he do? Why does he think he needs to apologize? God, this kid worries me…  _ “What happened? Please talk to me…?” The boy shook his head, and hid his face in Levi’s chest. Levi wrapped his arms around the boy and kissed the top of his head. “Just… Please tell me when you feel like you can… I just want to help you… I love you and I’m here for you… No matter what.” Levi stayed awake watching over the boy as he tossed in his sleep. He didn’t seem to have any nightmares, but it certainly wasn’t peaceful. 

  
Levi’s alarm started going off at 6:30. He groaned and rolled over to silence it before it woke Eren.  _ Fucking noisy ass piece of shit…. I should have turned that off since we aren’t even going to class today…  _ However, it was too late. Eren had already woken and started to sit up. “Sorry kiddo, I was gonna let you sleep longer since we’re not going to campus today.”

 

“Meh… It’s okay. We need to go to the station as early as we can anyway. I’m gonna go take a shower and get ready…” Eren wobbled sleepily off to the bathroom, locking the door behind him.  _ I am going to take a shower… but, there is going to be a bit more to this.  _ Eren grabbed the stashed blade as he climbed into the shower. Letting the water cascade over him, he started to make long tracks down his chest and stomach. Red started to flow, diluting in the water. Eren sighed, tears falling at the release of anxiety the slits brought. The hot water stung as it washed over his chest, red still flowing down.  _ Oh… Fuck….  _ Dropping the blade, his hand went to the wall, supporting himself as dizziness washed over him.  _ May have gone a little too far… But… I feel better at least… I’ll be okay at the station… At least for a little while…  _

 

Levi sighed and headed off to make something light for the two of them for breakfast, keeping a constant watch on the bathroom door. After what seemed like an eternity, Eren emerged from the bathroom, staggering as he wandered to the table.  _ What did he do? He’s as white as a ghost, and he’s tripping all over himself… It's just like when… FUCK. Please don’t be doing what I think…. I’ll have to look when he’s asleep later… I don’t want to stress him out if he doesn’t want me knowing… Fucking hell. That’s the only logical explanation… _ “You okay there, kiddo? Think you can try to eat something?”

 

“Y-yeah. I’m good. I’ll try to eat. What did you make?” Eren never looked up from the table, feeling guilty in front of Levi. 

 

“Cream of wheat, super easy on the stomach. Plus it's really good if you add maple syrup or strawberries or something. We have those in the fridge if you want some. Just let me know.” Levi set a small, steaming bowl in front of the boy, somewhat relieved when the brunette actually ate the contents. “Are you ready to go?” He asked as the boy pushed away his bowl. “It would be easiest if we just got it over with.” The brunette nodded, Levi following the boy closely as he struggled to keep himself up as they made their way to the Q7.  _ I don’t like this… I’ll have to stay with him… And he’s going to lay back down the moment we’re home… _

 

Once they arrived at the station, they found the officer in charge of Eren’s case. He let them know that he would need to take their statements separately. Despite the panic in Eren’s eyes and Levi’s objections, they were placed in different rooms. Levi recounted his statement as quickly as possible and was permitted to at least watch Eren’s interview. He knew that the situation was quickly turning dire the moment he saw the boy. Eren had his arms wrapped around himself, and he was staring wide eyed at the cold metal table he was seated at. The officer questioning him looked extremely confused. He had a few notes on his pad but had stopped writing as Eren started to hyperventilate. Levi turned to the officer that was standing by him. “You have to let me in there! If I’m not there, he won’t calm down, and he’s going to pass out! He’s having a panic attack!”

 

“I’m sorry sir, but we can’t let you do that. The statement has to be unbiased. The only way for that to happen is if he gives it on his own.”   
  
Levi was starting to lose what little composure he had left. “You won’t get your fucking statement if he passes out on the floor from lack of oxygen! Just let me calm him down. I won’t say a word. He needs me there, though.” He glanced back in the room and saw Eren crouched over the table, his fist grabbing at his chest. “Look at him! Do you really want to deal with that? Just let me in there!” Eventually the officer conceded and allowed Levi into the room. He lunged toward Eren as the boy started to sway toward the floor. He caught the boy in his arms and pulled him close. “Eren, hey, listen to my voice. Breathe babe, just breathe. It’s okay, I’m here with you. You’re okay, just breathe.” Levi exaggerated his own breathing, trying to get Eren to mimic him. Finally, the boy started to calm, breathing slowly returning to normal. “That’s my boy. You’re okay… Do you still want to do this? I’ll stay with you if you do…” He shot a pointed glare at the officers. He  _ would _ be staying, no matter what anyone said. 

 

Eren nodded weakly, looking up to the officer at the table. “I will tell you every single thing he’s done. But I need Levi… Please… I can’t do this without him…” 

 

The officer sighed and rubbed his temples before motioning to the chairs across from him. “Very well. If that’s what it takes, then both of you have a seat.”

 

Levi stood with Eren in his arms. Sitting down, he kept the boy in his lap.  _ I’ll be damned if I let him go until we get home. And even that is questionable at this point.  _ The officer rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything. Eren took a deep breath and started in from the beginning. 

 

“Dad started to come home drunk just before I was 14. He started to beat mom. He was very violent… He would punch her and kick her and beat her head against cabinets.... I would always try to stop him, but I never could.. I always ended up getting tossed away… About six or so months of that was all she could take… I came home from school one day and found her in their bedroom… M-mom had shot herself… I still remember all the blood… she was so cold…” Tears started to fall from his eyes as he clutched to Levi. “A-after mom died… Dad got worse… He blamed me for her committing suicide… When I was 15, he decided that I could be her replacement… H-he sta-” The words caught in the boy’s throat. 

 

“Shh… It’s okay, Eren… Take a breath, I’ve got you. Take your time, babe…” Levi rubbed his back, trying to comfort him.  _ I wish I had killed the bastard… I could have called it self defense… I felt that myself and my family had a legitimate threat to our lives… It would have been fine.  _

 

Eren took a shaky breath and continued. “He came home one day, and I could tell he was drunk by the way he was stomping down the hall… I hid in the closet. I tried to make it seem like I wasn’t home… He found me anyway. He beat me. Th-then he… he raped me… After the first time, it happened nearly every time he came home drunk… Sometime after I had turned 17, he stopped coming home. I was so thankful, but I was terrified that one day he’d come back… I got a job and managed to save some money. I moved when I turned 18. I graduated high school somehow and enrolled in the university here. I didn’t see him again until this past Monday… I passed him on campus… I know he was here for a lecture. Then Tuesday night, Levi stepped out to pick up dinner… He somehow got into the apartment… H-he started to talk badly about Levi and me… I tried to stand up to him… but he knocked me down, he elbowed me in the face, knocking me over the arm of the couch… Then he grabbed my ankle and pulled me to the floor… I-I tried to fight back… He punched me several times… He was about to take my pants the rest of the way off when Levi got there and got him off of me… I-I don’t remember much else after that… I’m sorry….” 

 

The officer nodded, jotting down some final notes. “Thank you very much, Mr. Jaeger. This will be very helpful in retaining Dr. Jaeger. We’ll keep in touch. You’re free to go now.”

 

That was all Levi needed to hear before he was up and halfway out the door with Eren in his arms.  _ Time to fucking go before I go raid the jail and strangle that bastard. How dare he touch Eren. Home. Just get us home. Come on, Levi.  _ Levi took deep breaths, trying to keep his anger in check as he made his way out to the car. He kissed Eren softly as he set him in the passenger seat. “You were amazing. I’m so proud of you, kiddo. Now let’s get you home, okay?” Eren nodded, his eyes red and puffy from the aftermath of his attack and the crying during his statement. 

 

Back home, Levi helped Eren into the apartment. If nothing else, for his own peace of mind. Eren sunk down into the couch. “Can we just watch some anime or something? I don’t really want to do much else…” Levi nodded and pulled out his own laptop, setting it on the coffee table for the boy. “Watch whatever you want, I’ve got a few things I need to do with my thesis.”  Grabbing his backpack he sat down at the table and went to work. 

 

Eren scrolled through crunchyroll, trying to decide what to watch.  _ Something upbeat would be good… Oh, Ouran High School Host Club, that’s a good one. It's pretty funny too.  _ Clicking play he couldn’t help it as a small smile passed his lips at the opening song.  _ Kiss kiss fall in love, hehe. That’s kinda what happened with Levi and me. Catchy song though.  _ He glanced over the back of the couch, checking on Levi.  _ He looks so tired… He must not be sleeping at all…  _ Levi yawned, running his fingers through his hair as he stared at the work in front of him.  _ He’s got better things to do than sit here with me… I’m sorry, Levi… _

 

After a few hours, Levi got up and went to the kitchen. “You hungry, kiddo? I’m making a sandwich if you want one?”

 

“No thanks, I’m not hungry at all. Maybe I’ll eat something later.” Eren had made it through five episodes so far, he was glad he had picked this one. It took his mind off of everything. 

 

“Suit yourself… How does lasagna sound for dinner?” 

 

Eren’s stomach growled softly. “That sounds really good actually…”  _ Maybe I’ll be able to eat for him. If my stomach is growling maybe I’ll be okay…  _ Levi finished his sandwich and then sat on the couch next to Eren. The brunette curled up against him, hiding the wince that crossed his face as he pulled at the new scabs on his body.  _ He can’t know… He’ll be upset with me…  _ another five episodes later, Eren’s stomach was making a ruckus over food. 

 

“You sound hungry. I’m going to go ahead and start dinner. It’ll be ready in about an hour.” 

 

“Okay… I’ll just keep watching this.” Levi nodded and went to the kitchen. He soon returned to the couch, waiting for the lasagna to bake. 

 

“This is completely different from the last thing you watched. You like lots of different things I guess?” Eren shrugged and curled up against Levi again. He gasped as he felt one of the scabs break open. “Are you okay?” Levi looked down at him in concern. 

 

“Y-yeah, my back just hurt for a minute… S-sorry…”  _ I’m glad I’m wearing a dark shirt… Maybe it won’t bleed too badly… Shit… _ Levi eyed him suspiciously but let it go for now. Soon, the timer on the stove went off. Levi carefully got up again and went to get them both plates. Coming back, he handed Eren a small portion. “Thanks.. This smells really good…” The boy took small bites, trying to make sure that he would be able to keep it down. When he was able to get a few bites down and didn’t feel sick, he started to take bigger bites.  _ Damn, Levi is a good cook….  _

 

“I’m glad to see you’ve at least got a bit of your appetite back. Is it good?” 

 

“Yeah, it's amazing… You really are an amazing cook, you know…” Setting his plate on the coffee table, he curled back into Levi, carefully this time. “When you’re done, can we go to bed? I’ really tired…”  _ I want him to sleep… He needs it, and… I need him to not be watching my every move. _

 

“Yeah, sure, anything you want. I could go for bed right now anyway. My thesis always wears me out.” Levi finished his own food. Taking both plates to the kitchen, he cleaned up from dinner and put away the rest of the food. Walking over to the couch, he held his hand out to the boy. “Come on babe, let’s go to bed.” Eren took his outstretched hand and followed him down the hall. Eren curled up in the middle of the bed, Levi wrapping an arm around his waist. “I love you, Eren…”

 

“I know… I love you too, Levi… Goodnight…” Eren waited until Levi’s breathing had fallen into a deep rhythmic pattern.  _ Good… He’s asleep...  _ The brunette carefully wriggled out of the man’s grasp and padded into the bathroom. Sitting on the floor, he grabbed his razor and dug it into his thighs, leaving deep cuts behind. He took a deep breath as his head fell back, letting the feeling overwhelm him. He could hear his heart thumping in his ears, could feel the warm liquid flowing down the sides of his thighs.  _ This is constant… I know it will hurt, but I did it. I have control over this… Oh… I guess I’m still anemic from this morning… _ He started to see stars as his head swam.  _ I guess I’m spending the night here… I’m going to pass out, I think…. I’m sorry, Levi… _ His hand fell to the floor, razor falling out of his fingers.

 

Levi stirred, feeling around the bed sleepily for Eren and not finding him.  _ Eren? Oh no… _ Levi shot up, looking around the room. The boy was nowhere to be found. He jumped out of bed and hurried to the bathroom. Listening through the closed door, all he could make out was extremely shallow breathing. “Eren?” He waited for a response, a change in breathing, anything, but heard nothing. Trying the handle, he found the door locked.  _ I don’t have time to get my kit. This is a shitty lock anyway… _ Ramming the door with his shoulder, Levi burst into the room, his heart stopping at the sight before him. Eren was sitting with his back against the tub, blood pooling around him, deep gouges in his thighs. Older scabs littered the area around the fresh cuts. A small razor was just out of reach of his limp fingers at his side. “Fuck! Eren, the fuck were you doing? Oh, my god…” Levi grabbed a towel off the wall and pressed it across the boy’s cuts with one hand, grabbing Eren’s face with the other as he supported his head. “Hey, wake up, kiddo! Come on, don’t you fall asleep on me.”  _ Shit, this is a lot of blood… I knew it… I should have done something as soon as I suspected… Fucking hell! _ Tears welled in the man’s eyes as he touched his forehead to the brunettes. “Babe, please wake up…”

 

A small, weak voice emerged from the boy in front of him. “L-Levi… I-I’m s-sorry…” 

 

Levi kissed the boy’s head, trying to force back his tears.  _ Have to stay calm… I can’t let my emotions out of check right now..  _ “Shhh… you’re fine. Just stay awake for me, babe… Please, just stay awake…” Levi checked the cuts. Regardless of the pressure he was putting on them, they were still seeping blood.  _ Fuck, I need to get gauze on these, I need to wrap him up.  _

 

Eren started to cry softly, his head lolling forward and falling on Levi’s shoulder. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry… Levi, I’m sorry..” The boy kept repeating himself, Levi looking around for a first aid kit or anything that could help. His eyes fell on a roll of gauze on the shelf above the toilet. Grabbing the roll, he removed the towel and quickly started to wrap the boy’s thighs. Once he got them taken care of, he started to inspect the rest of Eren’s body, finding fresh scabs on his chest and stomach as well. Not finding any currently bleeding, he opted to leave those for now. After soaking up the blood on the floor with the now dirty towel, he pulled Eren into his arms, rocking him as he held him close. 

 

“Why… I’m here to help you… Why did you resort to this…” Levi struggled as he choked on his words, trying to keep his tears from overwhelming him. “I love you, I can’t stand for you to be hurting like this… Let me help bear this with you…”

 

“I'm sorry… I didn't want you to know… I’m so sorry Levi…” Eren curled into Levi’s chest, tears still falling. “I-it just takes my mind off the stress… And I have fewer panic attacks… I-I don't know… But it helps… I'm sorry…”

 

“Eren… Why didn't you just talk to me… I'm always here for you…”

 

“No, you're not… You hung up on me... I thought you weren't coming back…  T-that maybe you were disgusted by what he was doing… It didn't matter that I needed you…” Sobs wracked the boy's body as he hid his face. He knew he was wrong even as the words came out, but that didn't stop his line of thought. 

 

“What? How could you even think that? Eren, listen to me…” Levi gently took the boy’s chin in hand, tilting it up to look him in the eyes. “Eren, I had to call the police. I had to get help there. I knew that the police would need to see what happened. I couldn't stay on the phone with you and call them…” Levi blinked back his own tears, failing as they streamed down his cheeks. He touched his forehead to the brunettes. “Eren, I died when I did that. I couldn't breathe not knowing if you were okay in those moments…. But it was the only way to get help there in time…” His arms tightened around the boy. “I'm so sorry… I should have seen this sooner… I promise I'll do better… I want to be your safe place. I want you to know that I'm here for you, and that I'll always defend you… You're so loved, Eren… More than you even know… I'm sorry that I had to hang up on you, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat because you are the most important thing in the world to me. I need you to know that. It’s important that you understand that.”

 

_ I know… I know how he feels… I'm so tired though… So tired of fighting… _ Though he had tears of his own falling, Eren lifted a shaking hand to Levi's face and weakly wiped the tears away before his hand fell. “I understand… Don't cry, Levi… You're too beautiful for tears… Especially tears over me… C-can we go back to bed…? I’m so tired…” Levi nodded, rising carefully with the boy in his arms and carrying him back to the bedroom. He laid the boy gently on the bed before laying down with him. “Make sure you sleep too… I know you haven't been… “

 

Levi yawned, exhaustion quickly taking him over.  _ Maybe it's okay to sleep… I feel a little relieved now that we've talked… Maybe…  _ The two quickly fell asleep, holding tightly to each other. 

 

Saturday morning came quickly, but the pair continued to sleep until late morning. Eren stretched out after a while, crying as several scabs ripped open. Levi was awake in an instant. “What's wrong? What happened?” 

 

“I-I think my cuts opened back up…” Levi quickly pulled back the blankets, checking the boy’s abdomen and the gauze around his thighs. Blood was starting to seep through the gauze as well as trail down his stomach. 

 

“Shit… Do you have anymore gauze here?” The brunette shook his head, trying not to move too much as he didn’t want to make it any worse. “Okay… Well, come on. I’m not leaving you alone, but I need to go get some more. You can wait in the car while I run into the drugstore.”

 

“Levi… I can wait here, I’ll be fine….”  _ Dad’s in jail right now, and I don’t feel like moving anyway. _

 

“I don’t know … Can I trust you not to harm yourself any more while I’m gone?”

 

“I won’t… I don’t plan on moving from this bed right now, to be honest…”

 

Levi sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “Fine… I’ll be right back… Call me if anything happens. I mean it.” The brunette nodded and closed his eyes, hugging his stingray over his face so he wouldn’t get any blood on him. Levi quickly grabbed a towel and pressed it over the boy’s abdomen. “Keep pressure on this till I get back. The gauze on your legs will last for a little while longer. Try not to move too much…” Levi lifted the stuffed animal from the boy’s face and kissed his lips softly. “I love you… I’ll be right back.” With that, he grabbed his keys and wallet and raced out the door. At the drugstore he picked up several rolls of dressing, along with gauze squares and bandaging tape. As he was walking out the door his phone rang, he answered without checking the caller ID and was confused when an unfamiliar voice came over the line. 

 

“Mr. Ackerman, we didn’t have a contact number for Mr. Jaeger so we are calling you instead. This is Officer Hannes, I just wanted to let you know that Dr. Jaeger was just released. We don’t have enough evidence to hold him. Just felt that Eren would want to know that.”

 

Levi nearly dropped his phone in shock. He quickly thanked the officer and broke into a run toward his car, calling Eren as he went.  _ Pick up… pick up… Damn it, Eren! Pick up the phone!  _ The call went to voicemail, and Levi’s mind started to imagine the worst. He hit redial and waited again as he sped toward the apartment.  _ Oh, my god… What if Grisha got to him already… Maybe that’s why he isn’t picking up his phone… Fucking hell!  _ Pulling into the parking lot, he quickly found a spot and jumped out, abandoning the first aid supplies. Racing toward the apartment, he reached the door and grabbed the knob. He made note that the door was still locked.  _ That’s a good sign, right?  _ Letting himself in, Levi sped through the rooms until he made it to the bedroom. Relief flooded over him when he found the boy sleeping soundly in the bed.  _ Oh, thank christ…  _ He sat on the bed next to the boy, brushed stray hair out of his face, and kissed his forehead. “Hey… Wake up, kiddo…” Eren didn’t stir. “Eren, come on, babe.. Wake up, I need to talk to you, and we need to bandage you up…” Levi shook the boy gently. He groaned but didn’t wake.  _ Come on, kiddo… It shouldn’t be this hard to wake you up…  _ Levi ran out the the car and got the first aid items, locking the door behind him when he returned. Sitting back down next to the boy, he started to bandage his abdomen, still trying to wake him.  _ I wonder if this is like when he bled out when I first met him… He slept forever after that…   _ Finally, the boy’s eyes fluttered open. “Oh, thank god… I was worried when you weren’t waking up. Help me out a little here, I need to re-bandage your thighs.” 

 

Eren moved whichever way Levi directed, still groggy from sleeping. “L-Levi… I don’t feel so hot… And my head really hurts…” 

 

“I know, kiddo… You lost a lot of blood yesterday. I’ll get you some tylenol or something here in a minute. But first, I have something important to tell you, and I need to you stay calm when I do. Just remember that I will keep you safe, no matter what it takes.” Levi finished redressing the boy’s thighs and gently took Eren’s hand in his own. “I got a call while I was out… They don’t have enough evidence to keep Grisha in jail… They released him this morning…” 

 

Eren shot up, immediately regretting his decision as he swayed and started to fall forward. Levi caught him quickly and supported him before he fell. “Easy there, babe… Take it slow. I promise he’s not coming anywhere near you this time. We’re going to my place. He won’t even know where to look if he’s dumb enough to come for you.” 

 

“Y-your place? Are you sure? I don’t want to be a bother…” Levi kissed the boy softly, then looked him in the eyes.

 

“You never were and never will be a bother. Trust me.” Levi laid the boy back down on the bed and finished cleaning up his wounds. “Now, you just relax. I’m going to pack you a bag, then we’ll go.”  

 

“Levi… What if we get a restraining order… would that keep him away?” Eren’s green eyes looked hopeful as they searched for an answer from the older man. 

 

He nodded slowly. “Maybe… We can look into it as soon as we get to my apartment… Right now, I just want you out of here.” Levi quickly packed everything that he felt the boy would need and tossed the bag in the car. He then came back and carefully lifted the light, frail boy.  _ I really need to get some weight on him… He’s too small…  _ Gently setting the boy in the passenger seat, he locked the car before running back to lock the apartment. He was taking no chances when it came to Eren’s safety. Climbing into the driver’s seat, he started the car, pulled out of the lot, and headed in the opposite direction of campus.

 

Eren leaned his head back against the headrest and closed his eyes, focusing hard on not getting sick in Levi’s car. He groaned softly as a wave of nausea hit him. “Levi… Slow down… You’re making me car sick… I’m sorry…” 

 

The older man slowed the car, glancing over to check on the brunette. “No, you’re fine. I’m sorry. How do you feel? Specifically. Not just good or bad.”

 

“My head hurts. I feel like I’m going to puke. I’m shaky, dizzy, and I’m cold…” 

 

Levi reached over and laid a hand on the boy’s forehead.  _ Shit… he’s running a fever… I’m glad we’re just a few minutes from home. I need to get him back in bed.  _ “Just relax, we’ll be home in just a minute, and you can lay back down. I’ll get you some water, and we’ll get you under some blankets to warm up.” He moved his hand up over the boy to the back of his head, rubbing gently, trying to reassure him. Eren was growing paler as time dragged on. Soon they pulled into a parking lot outside a large building. Levi threw Eren’s bag over his shoulder and carefully picked him up out of the passenger seat. Shutting the door with his hip, he locked the Q7 behind them. 

 

Eren was thankful for Levi’s warm body and strong arms. He knew he wouldn’t be worth much on his own two feet right now.  _ He’s always so ready to help… I really do love that about him…  _ Levi hit a button on the wall with his elbow,  the front doors opening.  Walking in, he headed for the elevator in the back of the small lobby, once again hitting the “up” button with his elbow. He tapped his foot impatiently as he waited.  _ I wonder why he’s in such a hurry… Oh… I’m probably really heavy…  _ “I’m sorry… I know I’m heavy… I’m okay to stand, let me down…” 

 

Levi shot the boy an incredulous look. “Right… You’re not heavy at all. I don’t know where you get off thinking that. But if you want me to put you down, I can….” Eren nodded as the elevator doors opened. Levi stepped in and carefully set the boy on his feet against one of the walls. He reached over to press the button for the 4th floor, quickly bringing his hands back to the boy’s hips as he started to sink. “Ah ah ah, no you don’t. See? I was right to carry you. You don’t belong on your feet right now, babe.” Levi supported the boy until the doors opened again, then scooped him back into his arms. Levi walked down the hall to his door. He carefully set Eren back down, keeping an arm around the boy’s waist. He quickly dug out his key, opened the door, and picked the boy back up. “Welcome home, kiddo.” 

 

Eren glanced around while Levi carried him through the rooms.  _ It's so clean… And light, everything is so… bright? It's comfortable… _ Eren closed his eyes and turned his face into Levi’s chest. His eyes flew open as he was laid onto what he thought must have been a cloud.  _ Holy shit… Where did he find this bed? _ “What the…” the brunette looked around, taking in his surroundings. He was on the edge of a large bed, placed in the middle of a room. The room had French doors off to the side that led to a small balcony, nightstands on either side of the bed, and a low dresser on the wall across from where Eren was lying. Next to the dresser was what looked like the entrance to an en suite. A long bookshelf filled the wall by the bedroom door, countless classics lining its shelves. “Is this your room?”

 

Levi chuckled softly, “Well, it certainly isn’t the dungeon. Yes, this is my room, babe. I would ask if you found the bed comfortable, but I’m fairly sure I already know the answer to that since it's plastered across your face.” He smiled softly, crossing his arms across his chest. “Now, let’s get you under the blankets.” He carefully pulled the blankets out from under the boy and covered him, kissing him gently on the forehead. He went to the kitchen and got a glass of water and Tylenol. Returning, he sat on the edge of the bed. “Here, hon, take this. It’ll help with your headache and the fever.” He helped the boy sit up just enough to take the small pills. “There, now just sleep. You’ll feel better after you rest. We don’t have to do anything tomorrow either since it’s Sunday. So rest up. I’ll bring you something small to eat here in a little bit.” 

 

Eren nodded and curled up on the cloud that was Levi’s bed.  _ This is soooo comfortable…. I feel like I could sleep forever in this bed.  _ Eren reached out and grabbed the back of Levi’s shirt as he started to walk away. “Wait… Will you stay with me for a little while… I have trouble falling asleep without you now....” Levi nodded and carefully laid down beside the boy, wrapping an arm around him. 

 

“I’ll stay as long as you want, just sleep.”  _ Staying in that apartment wasn’t doing him any good, especially now that the bastard is out of jail. That was no longer safe. He hasn’t been his normal self since that night. I just want him to be happy again… He’s on edge; short-fused. One second he’s fine, the next he’s crying his eyes out. And he’s unstable. For crying out loud, he almost bled out on the bathroom floor…  _ Levi sighed as he heard Eren start to softly snore.  _ At least he’s able to sleep now… That’s better than we were doing for a while…  _

 

After a few hours, Levi slipped out of bed to go make some sandwiches for dinner. Returning, he woke the boy up. “Come on kiddo, time to wake up. I made you something light to eat.” Eren stirred, rubbing his eyes sleepily. 

 

“Mhm… I’m not really hungry, though…” He blinked, trying to let his eyes adjust to the light still coming in the French doors. “Do I have to eat?”   
  


“Yes. Eating is not optional. You at least have to try.” Levi helped the boy sit up then set the plate in his lap. “Now then, at least try. You’ll never feel better if you don’t eat. I need you to finish this glass of water I got you earlier as well.” 

 

Eren rolled his eyes. Reaching over, he picked up the water and finished off the glass. “There. Happy now, Rivaille?”  Eren shot Levi a sassy look before tearing off a small bite from the sandwich. 

 

Levi’s eyes narrowed at the boy’s comment. “I suppose… Rivaille though? Where did that come from?” 

 

Eren chuckled softly. “It's the Japanese pronunciation of Levi. Just for fun, you know?” He blushed as he took another bite of the sandwich.  _ Maybe I shouldn’t have done that? He doesn’t look too thrilled… _

 

“Hm… Well. I suppose that’s fine. It’s kind of catchy.” Eren’s eyes shot to Levi’s face. He was surprised to see a soft smile there. “What? You didn’t think that I’d like pet names or something? I’m just as human as the next guy.” Levi leaned over and kissed the boy’s forehead. “I’m glad you’re eating. I was starting to worry.” He took the plate and set it on the night stand as Eren finished his food. “How are you feeling after some food and sleep? Anything you need?”

 

Eren shook his head. “No I’m okay, I don’t feel as shaky now. And I don’t feel like I’m going to puke which is nice… I’m still kinda cold though…”

 

Levi ruffled the boy’s hair before pushing him gently back into the bed. “Well, we can’t have that now, can we?” Getting under the blankets with the brunette, he wrapped himself around the boy, pulling him close. “I’ll just have to keep you warm myself.” He kissed the top of Eren’s head, stroking his hair. “Just sleep some more. You’ll feel better in the morning. Love you, kiddo.”

 

Eren buried his face into Levi’s firm chest, enjoying the comforting scent of Levi. “Kay… Love you, too… Rivaille.” The two dozed off in each other’s arms, both finally sleeping peacefully through the night for the first time in almost a week.

 


	16. What Tea Can't Fix

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've got some tender, raw, and emotional moments in this one. We hope you love it as much as we do!

Eren woke before Levi the next morning. Slipping out of bed, he wandered out onto the balcony. Leaning on the railing, he gazed down.  _ Such a long way down…  _ He glanced back over his shoulder at the still sleeping man in bed.  _ I shouldn’t be here… I’m causing him way too much trouble. I wonder if it would hurt if I just jumped… But… Levi would be sad, I think…  _ He leaned out as far as he could while keeping his feet on the ground.  _ It wouldn’t be hard, just a little more, and I’d be done…  _ He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.  _ I’m broken and tainted and… I don’t know why he wants me… He would be better off if I were gone. He’d get over it…  _ Eren rolled up on the balls of his feet, leaning just a little farther over the rail. He battled with himself, the scale in his mind tipping toward a dark end. Suddenly, strong arms were around him, pulling him quickly back into the room. He was on the floor with Levi over him before he had a moment to process what had happened. Levi’s eyes were wide, filled with fear, confusion, and a trace of anger. 

 

“What the fuck were you doing! You could have fallen!” His desperate voice struggled to not yell at the boy beneath him.

 

Eren rolled his head to the side, unable to look the man in the eyes. “Would it have been so bad if I had? You would get over it… Life would be easier for you if I weren’t here… I’m broken, Levi… Broken things belong in the trash… I’m worthless.. You get that, don't you?”

 

Levi’s head dropped to the boy’s chest. “Eren… Listen to me… You’re not broken, you’re not worthless, and I would never get over you… It’s been years since I felt as alive as I feel when I’m with you. Please tell me that’s not what you were actually planning leaning over that rail… Please…”

 

“N-no… I wasn’t planning to jump…”  _ At least not when I first walked out there… Surely he’s not serious… He would get over me. I know he would. I’m unremarkable and forgettable.  _ The man above him sighed. He could feel the tension slowly drain from Levi’s body as he collapsed on top of him.

 

“For fuck’s sake… Don’t scare me like that, Eren… My heart can’t take it…”

 

The brunette wrapped his arms around the smaller man, softly stroking the back of his head. “I’m sorry, Levi… I didn’t mean to scare you…”  _ I’ll come up with something… Maybe. Once I’m not around, he’ll realize that he doesn’t need me as much as he thinks he does. This is all too much; he’s doing too much. He barely sleeps, misses school, bails on research, and is constantly looking out for me. I need to go away, and there’s only one way to do that that won’t end in him following me and dragging me back…  _

 

Levi sat up, still straddling the boy. “So… Are you hungry? I can make breakfast…?” He could tell that something was seriously wrong. Eren’s eyes were distant, calculating. He was overthinking something. There was a darkness in his face that scared Levi.  _ I don’t think he’s telling me the truth…  _

 

“I guess I could eat… What do you have in mind?” 

 

Standing, he reached his hand out to help Eren to his feet. “I just have stuff for cereal probably… Since I’ve been at your apartment so much recently. I’ll need to go to the store for anything else”

 

“Cereal is fine.”  _ I don’t want him to do more than he has to. Just whatever is here is fine.  _ Eren took the man’s hand and carefully stood, trying to not twist his body more than he had to. “You don’t have to go out of your way for me, you know… Just do whatever you would normally do at home… I’m nothing special.” 

 

Levi placed a hand on the boy’s cheek. “On the contrary. You’re incredibly special, all the more reason why I go out of my way for you.”  _ What has gotten into his head today… He was starting to act somewhat normal last night… _

 

Eren turned away, pulling out of Levi’s reach, and started walking out of the bedroom. “Why, though… “ He whispered under his breath. Stepping out of the bedroom, he was met with a bright open living room. Everything was light, neutral colors except for the TV stand, coffee table, and side tables. Those were a dark stain, almost black. There was a half wall between the living room and the kitchen which he walked around. Finding an empty spot on the counter, he hopped up and made himself comfortable. Looking around, he took in his surroundings. The oven and range were along the half wall. The fridge was to his right, sink off to his left. The countertops were white marble, cabinets the same dark finish as the living room furniture. All the appliances were stainless steel without a single fingerprint on them. 

 

Levi was close behind the boy, watching him as he looked around the apartment. He flipped on the lights in the kitchen as Eren made himself comfortable on his counter. “What do you think? It's not much, but it's home.” 

  
“It suits you. It’s clean and bright.”  _ I don’t belong here… I’ll dirty this place up…  _ Eren twisted his fingers together in his lap as he thought to himself. 

 

Levi was almost done filling the bowls when he turned back to the boy. Seeing him fiddling and looking down, he abandoned the bowls on the counter. He crossed the kitchen and covered Eren’s hands with his own. “Hey, whatever you’re thinking, you’re wrong.” He moved a hand to the boy’s cheek, forcing him to look at him. “Do you hear me? You’re perfect just the way you are. Don’t let your mind run away with you.” 

 

Eren’s eyes quickly lowered, not wanting to meet Levi’s intense gaze. “O-okay…” Levi squeezed his hand then retrieved their breakfast. He handed a bowl to the brunette and then watched him until he started to eat. 

 

Levi spoke between bites. “I was thinking we could go to the store and grab some groceries then come back here for lunch. How does that sound?” Eren nodded, eating in silence. “Do you have any preferences for lunch?”

 

“Um… what about… hot dogs and mac and cheese? That’s pretty easy… I could help you make it…”  _ Maybe I won’t fuck up too badly. That stuff is simple enough… _

 

“That sounds good. Well, as soon as you’re done eating, we’ll get dressed and go.” Levi set his own empty bowl in the sink, rinsing it out quickly. “Will you be okay if I go ahead and go get ready?”

 

“Yeah… go ahead. I’ll be there in a minute.” Eren finished off his bowl as Levi was disappearing into the bedroom.  _ Don’t worry about me.... Just let me go, Levi…  _ Eren slid off the counter. Rinsing his bowl in the sink, he slowly walked toward the bedroom after the older man. When he heard Levi in the bathroom, he quickly changed clothes and went back to the kitchen.  _ I could wash the dishes for him… at least I can be helpful while I’m here… _ Eren turned the water all the way to hot and started to wash the bowls.  _ Ah… ouch…  _ He continued washing, watching as his skin started to turn red.  _ I wonder how long it would take to actually burn me…  _

 

Levi walked into the kitchen. Seeing the steam rising from the sink, he walked over to see what Eren was doing. “Eren? What the fuck?” Levi quickly turned the water to cold. He took the boy’s hands, examining them before putting them under the cold water. “What on earth were you doing? You’re going to hurt yourself if you don’t pay attention!”  _ Unless he was already doing it on purpose… Shit… Come on, Eren… Don’t do this to yourself… _

 

“It doesn’t hurt… Don’t worry about it…” He winced as the cold water flowed over his now tender skin.  _ Actually, it does hurt, but I want it to hurt. I deserve the pain.  _

 

“How can I not worry about you…? I swear… Every time I turn around, it’s something new with you…” Levi shook his head, keeping the boy’s hands under the water. 

 

Eren pulled away, carefully drying his hands on his shirt. “Then don’t pay attention… If you don’t pay attention, you won’t see it. Just do what everyone else does and ignore me. It's easier that way. Then no one will ever worry, and no one will miss me…”

 

“Eren…” Levi’s alert was screaming in his head.  _ He’s planning something… Why would anyone miss him if he wasn’t? Good lord… I swear… I can’t take my eyes off of him for a second… _ “Babe… Listen to me…” He stepped forward, trying to touch the brunette in front of him, but the boy stepped back as he moved. “Eren. I don’t know what you’re planning, but it’s not happening. I won’t let you. You’re too important to me… We’ll get through this. I’ll help you. You know that I’m here for you… Eren, you asked for my help in the hospital… So let me fucking help you...” Levi’s fists tightened at his sides in frustration.  _ He won’t even let me touch him now… He’s done… He’s already separating himself. I won’t let him do this! _

 

“I know…” Eren sighed, looking at the floor. “L-Look...let’s just go to the store…You’ll be hungry soon… We need to get food.” Eren brushed past the man, heading for the door. He turned the knob, pulling it open. “Are you coming?”

 

_ Am I coming? Of course I’m fucking coming. If I don’t, you’ll probably just walk in front of a car on purpose, for fuck’s sake!  _ “Yeah. I’m coming,” Levi answered tersely, grabbing his keys and wallet off the counter on his way to the door. The two took the elevator down in silence, the ride to the store tense. Eren didn’t want to talk about anything, and Levi was too frustrated with the boy’s blatant disregard for his personal well being to start a conversation. Making their way through the store, Levi grabbed the items he felt they needed. Eren wandered off and came back with boxed mac and cheese, placing it in the cart. “What on earth is that?”

 

“Umm… mac and cheese?” Eren looked at him, confused. 

 

“I’ve never made that before… I have the stuff for homemade. So put that back. Unless you just really want it…” 

 

Eren picked the box back up and looked it over. “Homemade? I haven’t had that since Mom died… Okay… I’ll be right back…” He went to put the box back, returning with a new box.

 

“Now what?” Levi gave him a curious glance, surprised that he was participating in the shopping. 

 

Eren held the new box against his chest. “Can we um.. Can we get this and make it together?” He timidly handed the box over to the older man, his eyes burning holes into the ground. 

 

Levi took the box from him, turning it over to see what it was. “Lemon bars? Sure, you like these? I had some a long time ago. They were pretty good, if I remember.” He set the box in the cart, then reached out and rubbed Eren’s arm. “Look, you can get whatever sounds good, okay? I’ll make whatever it is. Or if it's snack food or whatever. Anything you want.” He smiled reassuringly as Eren finally looked up and met his gaze. 

 

“O-Okay… well… I’ll be right back then…” When he returned, he had his arms full of strawberry Pop-Tarts, Chicken in a Biskit crackers and canned cheese, a bag of pistachios, a box of Fruit Roll-Ups, and three boxes of strawberry Pocky. He set the armful of snacks in the cart and looked to Levi for approval. 

 

The older man couldn’t help but laugh. “So you really do like strawberries, huh? Those are all good choices. I’m just happy that you’re willingly picking food. I think that we have everything now. You ready to head home?” Eren nodded and followed Levi in silence. They checked out, packed the Q7, and made their way back to the apartment. “We can go ahead and start making lunch when we get back. The mac and cheese will take a while.” 

 

“Okay… just tell me what I can do to help when we get there.” Back at the apartment, Eren helped Levi carry the groceries in. Setting them all on the counter, he started helping to unpack them. Levi directed him around the kitchen to the proper homes for things as he started a pot of water for the macaroni. 

 

“Eren, would you get me a pot out of that cabinet to your right and fill it with water for the hot dogs?” The brunette fumbled in the cabinet before finding a pot big enough. He filled it with water and brought it to the stove. “Thanks, babe.” Levi leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. “Why don’t you go sit on the couch. I’ll let you know if I need any more help. This is an easy meal though.” 

 

“Um.. sure.. Just let me know if I can help..” Eren wandered around the wall and curled up on the couch, watching out the windows along the back wall.  _ I must be in his way… that’s probably why he told me to come in here… I really can’t do anything right…  _ after about thirty minutes, Levi was setting plates on the table. 

 

“Come on, kiddo, lunch is ready.” Eren dragged himself off the couch and made his way to the table. He sat next to Levi and started to pick at the salad on his plate. “Try the mac and cheese. Let me know what you think.”  _ I hope he likes it… Especially if he hasn’t had any since his mom died…  _

 

The brunette took a small bite of the creamy pasta, closing his eyes and sighing.  _ It tastes just like Mom’s… This is amazing… I miss her…  _ Eren blinked as he tried to keep his eyes from watering. “It’s perfect… Really… You did an amazing job…”  _ What if Levi can’t stand how much trouble I am anymore like Mom… what if he leaves me behind too? I really need to leave before then… _ Eren knew in his heart that that wasn’t what caused his mother to do what she did, but his head didn’t care. The two ate the rest of their meal in a comfortable silence, Levi keeping a close eye on the boy as he was still on high alert after this morning. Eren pushed away from the table. Picking up his plate, he started toward the sink. Suddenly, dizziness swept over him. He reached out for the counter to catch himself, but the plate in his hand didn’t quite make it. With a crash, it shattered across the floor.  _ Shit! _ Eren sank to the floor and started to collect the pieces, trying to keep himself upright as he swayed on his knees. 

 

Levi jumped from his seat and was at the boy’s side in an instant. “Eren! Are you alright? What happened?” He tried to stop the boy before he could cut himself on the glass, but Eren pulled away. 

 

“I just got dizzy, I-I’m fine… I broke your plate though… I’m sorry… I shouldn’t be here… I should have just jumped this morning… I’m sorry.. I’ll fix it.. I’ll clean it up, then I’ll go away…”

 

Levi’s temper started to flare as the boy continued to speak.  _ What on earth? I knew it… How could he even? It's a fucking plate. It's replaceable! He isn’t!  _ “God damn it, Eren! Leave the plate! It doesn’t matter. It's replaceable. What are you talking about, you should have jumped? How could you even think that? I love you! I don’t want you to go anywhere.”

 

“How could you love me? I’m unlovable! I’m broken and tainted and trouble. I’m worthless…”

 

Levi grabbed the boy’s face between his hands and forced him to look at him and abandon the shards on the kitchen floor.  _ “ _ You’re scared to love yourself, but goddamn, I am not! I see everything. The ups and the downs, the flaws and the perfections... I know what you’ve done, and I know what you’re capable of doing. Let me love you until you learn to love yourself, and if that day never comes, let me love you until the end!”

 

Eren’s eyes widened in shock.  _ He’s angry… He’s never yelled at me like that before… But… Does he really mean that…?  _ “L-Levi…”

 

“Just don’t. I need a minute. Leave the fucking plate. I’ll clean it up. Don’t do anything fucking stupid. I’m going to take a shower. I need to cool off.” Levi stood and stormed out of the room. 

 

After the initial shock of Levi raising his voice had passed, Eren broke down into tears.  _ Why… I wanted him to leave me alone… but now that he’s left.. I don’t like this… I need him… I need Levi by my side…  _ The brunette stood and stumbled toward the bathroom, still slightly off balance. The bathroom door was still open. He could hear the water running from the shower. Eren quietly padded into the bathroom, the tiles cold on his bare feet. Slipping into the shower, clothes and all, he wrapped his arms around Levi’s waist, pressing himself against the smaller man’s back and letting his head rest on his shoulder. Tears fell without restraint at this point.  _ I’m sorry… I’m so sorry, Levi… I can’t leave you… I need you… Don’t leave me… Not like everyone else…  _ He knew he needed to tell Levi what he was thinking. He knew he wasn’t a mind reader, but he simply couldn’t find his voice. 

 

Levi started to turn as he heard the shower door, but was stopped by shaking arms around his waist and a clothed body against his own. “Eren…?”  _ He’s crying… Shit… I shouldn’t have yelled… But… How could he even think that… I love him so much; why can’t he just let me…  _ He reached up and laced his fingers through the boy’s hair, leaning his head against the other. “I love you… I can’t stand the thought of you wanting to die… wanting to take your own life… Eren… I.. I can’t promise that I wouldn’t follow you… If you went through with that, you’d be killing me too… Do you realize that..?” 

 

Eren’s arms tightened around Levi. “No! You can’t!” He sobbed into the man’s shoulder. “You can’t even think like that… You have to live… You have too much going for you…”

 

Levi turned in the boy’s arms, pressing a hand against Eren’s heart, and another to his cheek. “I feel exactly the same way about you. You don’t see your own potential, how amazing you are. You are enough. You don’t ever have to change. So don’t think so badly of yourself. Just let me love you. Let me take care of you. Let me protect you. And please… Stay with me… Don’t leave… Especially not by your own hand… As long as I know you’re alive, I can keep on living. Promise me, Eren. Promise that you won’t hurt yourself. Promise that you’ll let me take care of you.”

 

Eren bent down and kissed the man, all the emotions storming inside him flowing into the kiss. Touching his forehead to Levi’s, he caught his breath. “I promise… no more… I’m sorry… I love you, Levi… I can’t do this without you anymore…” The two of them stood there, holding each other as Eren’s tears slowly subsided. They finally got out when the water started to run cold. 

 

“Come on, babe. We need to get you out of these clothes before you get sick again…”   
  


The boy was already shivering; his lips had a tinge of blue to them. “Y-yeah… I-I’m fucking f-freezing…”

 

_ Shit… can’t we catch a break?  _ “Okay, come on. Help me out here, babe.” Levi quickly peeled the wet clothes off the boy. Giving him a towel, he ordered him to dry off. While he did, Levi went to retrieve dry clothes from the bag that he had packed. Quickly coming back to the bathroom, he helped Eren get his dry clothes on, then ushered him into bed. Covering him up, he remembered that he had an electric blanket in the closet. “Hold on one second. I’ve got something else that will help you warm up faster.” Retrieving the blanket, he plugged it in and laid it over the boy, turning it on high. “There, you’ll be okay now. Just give that a few minutes to heat up. I’m going to clean up lunch, but call me if you need me, okay?” Eren nodded, closing his eyes as he focused on letting the heat seep into him. 

 

Levi hurried to the kitchen, sweeping up the shards and then mopping the floor. He put away the leftovers and washed the dishes.  As soon as he was content with the state of the kitchen, he went back to check on Eren. He found the boy tangled up in the blankets, drenched in sweat, a troubled look on his face. He was tossing and getting more tangled, a strangled cry escaping him suddenly. Levi rushed to his side and quickly started to pull the blankets from him, trying to wake the brunette. “Eren… Eren, wake up! Come on, babe, you’re okay. Wake up…” Levi shook his shoulders gently. Eren’s eyes shot open, blankly scanning the room. “Hey, I’m right here, look at me, right here.” Finally, his green eyes found Levi’s grey ones, relief flooding through them. 

 

Eren panted, trying to catch his breath. “L-Levi…” 

 

“I’m right here. Hold on, I’ll be right back. You’re safe, I promise.” Levi rushed to the bathroom and soaked a washcloth in cold water. Quickly coming back to the boy on the bed, he gently wiped his face and neck. “There, now. That’s got to feel a bit better.” Levi brushed the boy’s messy hair out of his face. “What happened? Talk to me, babe… you haven’t had a nightmare in a while…”

 

“It was nothing…” 

 

“I know better than to believe that, Eren. Talk to me. Let me help you. You promised…” Levi kissed him softly, trying to coax him. 

 

“Dad was back… He found us again… He took you, beat you, tied you up… H-He raped me.. Beat me to the point that I couldn’t fight back to save you… Then… H-He set the apartment on fire… I couldn’t get us out… It was so hot… It burned… I couldn’t save you… I was useless…”

 

Levi pulled the trembling boy into his arms, rubbing his back softly. “Shhh… that’s not going to happen… I swear… I’ll protect you.”  _ We could get a restraining order, but that won’t hold… I should buy a gun… I have a clean background as far as physical records go. It won’t be difficult for me to get one again. I should have just kept mine….  _

 

“I know you will…” Eren clung to Levi, tension draining from him as he felt the man’s heartbeat against his own chest. 

 

“Do you want to go to the living room and watch some TV? It’s too early to go to bed, honestly. Also, do you think you’ll be up to going to school tomorrow? I’ll have to go regardless…”

 

“Sure, we can…” Eren shifted, trying to stand up. “I need to go… whether I want to or not… I just hope he won’t be there…” 

 

Levi took Eren’s hand and led him to the couch. He sat, pulling the boy into his lap. Grabbing the remote, he turned the tv on, Family Guy appearing on the screen. “Oh, you’ll like this. It’s funny. And I doubt that Grisha would be stupid enough to appear on that campus after attacking you like that. The professors in your classes would be on high alert.” 

 

Silence fell as Eren was wrapped up in the show. He chuckled at a few of the crude jokes. Mostly, he was just happy to be in Levi’s arms. His safe place.  _ This is always like home to me… In his arms… I can breathe with no worries.  _

 

Levi stroked the boy’s hair absentmindedly. He wasn’t paying much attention the show, his thoughts replaying what had happened over the course of the last week.  _ So much has happened. I almost lost him.. Several times… I wonder if I’ve finally gotten through to him… I’ll go buy that gun tomorrow. I know he’ll be okay as long as he’s in class. Grisha won’t be stupid enough to rush a classroom to get at him.  _

 

Suddenly, Eren shot up. “Oh my god. I’m so behind on homework! Levi, do you have a computer I can borrow here?” 

 

“Um, yes, I do. Let me get it for you.” Levi slid out from under Eren and went over to where he had his school supplies stashed. He pulled out his Macbook and brought it over. “Do you know how to use one of these? It's a little different than what you’re probably used to.”

 

Eren scoffed. “Yes, I know how to use a Macbook. That’s all they have at the newspaper. I had to learn. Thank you though.” Eren took the computer from Levi and opened it. He looked up at the older man when he was stopped by a password screen. “Um… Can you unlock it please?”

 

“No, but you can.” Levi smirked, crossing his arms as he sat next to the boy. 

 

“But… I don’t know the password…” Eren looked at him, confused. 

 

“Ocean eyes. One word. Capital O.” 

 

“Ocean eyes? Where did that come from?” He asked as he typed in the password. 

 

“Well, there was this shitty brat that fell into my arms, and he had the most beautiful eyes. They reminded me of oceans. It kinda stuck. I made it my password.”    
  
Eren looked over, curiosity and a hint of jealousy in his eyes. “Oh? Are they still around? I’d love to meet them… I’d like to be friends with people you’re friends with.” 

 

“Oh, absolutely. He’s still around. I love him to pieces. I wish that you would love him too. It would really be amazing if you did.”

 

Hurt flitted through Eren’s eyes as he listened to Levi talk. “Oh… you do?”

 

“Yeah. Actually, I can introduce you right now.” Levi reached across the boy and pulled up his webcam. “Eren, meet Ocean Eyes.”

 

Eren looked from the screen to Levi, thoroughly confused. “But.. There isn’t anyone there. That’s just me….” 

 

“Mhm…” Levi grinned as realization dawned across Eren’s face, a furious blush filling his cheeks. The boy quickly closed the camera and started to pull up the student portal, fumbling with the keys. “You’re pretty fucking adorable when you get jealous. Just in case you were wondering.” Levi chuckled as he kissed Eren’s cheek. 

 

Eren huffed as he opened one of his many due assignments. “I wasn’t jealous! I was just…”

 

“Jealous. Green with envy? Possessive? I got it, kid. I love you too.” Levi ruffled his hair before getting up. “I’ve got some laundry to start. Call if you need any help. I have taken most of these classes already, after all.” 

 

“Yeah… I will. Thanks, Levi…” He went to work as Levi wandered off to another part of the apartment. After about 20 minutes, Eren huffed in frustration.  _ Grrr… Why is this so hard… I should be able to do this!  _  He had already caught up for the most part on Humanities and French Lit. Those were easy, just reading assignments, and he had already read what was assigned. He tended to work ahead when it came to reading. The French was throwing him for a loop, however.  _ Why can’t I figure out this damn sentence conjugation… I need to get this, or I’m going to fail the final…. _ Eren struggled, panic rising as he thought through the chain reaction that would occur if he didn’t pass his final because he couldn’t get this homework figured out. 

 

Levi picked that exact moment to poke his head in to check on the boy. He found him with a furrowed brow and fairly shallow breathing. “Hey, you need some help? I’m sure there isn’t anything you’re working on that’s cause for an attack, babe... “ Levi made his way to the couch and sat next to the brunette, wrapping an arm around him so he could see the screen better. “Oh, conjugation? I can help with that.” 

 

“I don’t get it, Levi… If I can’t figure this out, then I’ll fail my final, and if I fail the final, I’ll have to take the class again. If I have to take the class again, then that will look bad on a transcript, and I’ll delay graduation. Then I won’t be able to get a good job, and I’ll struggle, and I won’t be any good to you… I’ll just drag you down…”

 

“Eren. Whoa. Slow down. None of that is going to happen, and even if it did, I would gladly support you. You could never drag me down. If anything, you pick me up. All the time. Now, slow down and breathe for me, okay? I’ll help you. This is easy once you understand.”  Levi spent the next half hour working through the specifics of all of the missed French assignments. Eventually, it clicked. 

 

“I think I get it now. Thank you, Levi!” Eren shot him an excited smile. “I might actually be able to carry on a conversation with you in your native language one day!” 

 

Levi chuckled softly, kissing Eren’s temple. “I look forward to that day. I haven’t had anyone to talk to in a while.”    
  


“Oh? What about your family?” Eren closed the laptop, his interest piqued.

 

“They’re still around. I just don’t talk to them anymore. I haven’t been home in a while. I probably should go visit sometime… You know, you’d probably really like Maman… I should take you to meet them. Maybe once finals are over.”

 

“Oh… That would be neat… I’d love to meet your family. I really want to know more about you.”

 

Levi tensed slightly.  _ I’m not sure that I want you to know more about me yet… There’s a lot of darkness in my past...Though I’m pretty sure I know more about you than anyone else… I suppose at some point, I’ll have to return the favor.  _ “I’ll tell you about them sometime… For now, how does dinner sound? You hungry again yet?”

 

“Not really… We just ate like 3 or 4 hours ago… but if you want to make dinner, you can…” Eren pulled out his phone, checking the time.  _ Oh, it's already 4:30. I guess dinner time would be soon.  _

 

“Well, I’m going to at least start it. Maybe you’ll be hungry once I’m done.” Levi got up and went to work. By 5:30, he had food on the table. Eren was in fact hungry by the time dinner was done. As they ate, Levi quizzed Eren on his French. The two worked together to clean up dinner, then retired to the bedroom. Levi questioned Eren about his assignments for Lit in the morning, trying to ensure that the boy wouldn’t be frustrated tomorrow. 

 

Eren checked his phone after a while.  _ 9:45… We should get to sleep… _ “Levi, I’m getting tired… Can we call it quits and get some sleep?” 

 

“Sure thing, kiddo.” Levi laid back in bed, motioning for Eren to do the same. The brunette curled up against Levi’s side and quickly started to doze off. Levi sighed when the boy finally fell asleep. “I love you, Eren… Don’t worry… I’ll protect you from that monster… I’m not good for much, but I know how to handle pieces of shit like him...” He gently kissed the top of the boy’s head before closing his eyes, allowing himself to drift off. 


	17. Secrets and the Spin Cycle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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Monday morning came quickly for the duo, Levi’s alarm blaring at its normal time.  _ Ughhh…. I don’t want to get up… _ Levi pressed the snooze button on the side of his phone. “Eren… Hey, it's time to get up. We’re not as close to campus here as we were at your apartment, so you need to get up. 

 

Eren groaned and rolled away from Levi. “Five more minutes… It’ll be okay…” 

 

“No, Eren, not five more minutes. Get your ass up and get ready if you’re going. You said yesterday you wanted to, and you even did all your homework. So let’s go!” Levi playfully pulled at Eren’s leg, dragging him to the edge of the bed. “Come on, kiddo. Up and at ‘em.” 

 

“Fiiiiinnnnneeee,” Eren whined as he sat up. “I’m up, I’m up. Happy?

 

Levi nodded as he went to the bathroom. “Yes. Thank you. Now, get ready.” Eren stumbled around the room half asleep, getting dressed. Once he was done, he wandered to the kitchen and dug around for a bowl and spoon. He made himself a bowl of cereal, then waited for Levi to emerge from the bathroom. 

 

Finally, the older man came out of the room. “Geez, took you long enough. I’ve already eaten.” Eren smirked and shot Levi a playful wink. 

 

“Well, good for you. I’m glad you ate. We’ve gotta go, or we’ll be late.”

  
“But what about you? You haven’t had anything for breakfast?”  _ Oh no, if I have to eat, then so does he.  _

 

“I don’t have time, kiddo. We’ve gotta go.” 

 

“Fine, but you’re gonna eat.” Eren went in search of his personal stash. Pulling out a pack of his Pop-Tarts, he grabbed his bag and followed Levi out the door. Once they were in the elevator, he handed the man the silver packet. “Here, you have to eat. This is better than nothing.”

 

“Eren, these are yours. I’ll be fine.”

 

“If I said that to you, would you just let me not eat?” Eren shot him a judgemental glance. Levi sighed and took the silver packet. He knew Eren was right. 

 

“Fair enough… Thank you…” The first pastry was long gone before they even made it to the car.  _ I’m glad he thought of this. I was starving….  _ Arriving at campus, the two quickly made their way to their classroom for French Lit. After sitting through class, Levi made sure Eren was good before parting ways. “I’ve got to go meet up with some of the other grad students. I’ll be back for you after your class.” He kissed Eren gently before running off. Eren thought nothing of it and headed to his own class. 

 

_ Okay, so Eren is effectively distracted for at least the next hour and half, and I don’t have to worry about class; the professor sent out an email that it was cancelled for today. This should be more than enough time…  _  Levi hurried to the car and found the closest firearms store on his GPS. Less than half an hour later, he was walking out with a Sig Sauer P238 slipped in the waistband of his pants. He drove home first, stashing the gun where Eren wouldn’t think to look, then hurried back to campus to pick up his green eyed wonder. Levi met Eren at their usual spot, the two walking back to the car hand in hand He felt more confident in his ability to protect Eren knowing that he had a gun in his possession again. 

 

Once back at the apartment, Levi stashed his bag. “I’ve got to finish up my laundry from when I was at your place.”

 

“Oh, can I help?” Eren wanted to stay close to Levi. He was calming. 

 

“I mean… I guess?” Levi grabbed his basket from the bedroom and went back through the kitchen to the laundry room. Eren followed close behind, immediately hopping up onto the washer once they arrived. Reaching down, he popped open the washer door and held it for Levi. 

 

“Ta-da! I can be helpful.” The brunette had a cheesy grin on his face waiting for Levi to finish his chore. He held the door open with his leg, straddling the opening. 

 

_ He doesn’t even realize how tempting it is to take him right now…  _ Levi swapped the wet clothes over to the dryer, then tossed more laundry into the now empty washing machine. He pressed a hand against Eren’s thigh as he stood, closing the gap between the two. “You’re making it hard…” He couldn’t help the smirk that curled at his lips as Eren blushed and shot a glance to Levi’s crotch. “To close the door. Your leg is in the way.” The blush on the boy’s cheeks deepened, and he quickly pulled his knee to his chest, allowing Levi to shut the washer door. Levi reached around the boy to start the washer, making a point to run his hand along the brunette’s thigh and stop at his hip. A small gasp escaped Eren at his touch.  _ That’s right… Don’t forget how much you want this, too… You need to come back to me… I won’t start this first, not after what you went through.  _ Levi pulled away, turning to leave. “That’s all. Can’t do anything else but wait now.” 

 

Eren reached out and grabbed the collar of Levi’s shirt, pulling him back between his legs. The older man let his head fall back, looking up at the boy, grey eyes feigning surprise as a grin tugged at the corners of his thin lips. Without thinking, Eren leaned down and captured those lips with his own, his hands roaming down Levi’s chiseled chest. He released the man’s lips, his breath shallow. “Where do you think you’re going…? You can’t touch me like that then just leave….” 

 

“Oh, can’t I?” Levi turned, linking his arms around the boy’s waist as he looked up into his lust filled eyes. “Last I checked, this is my apartment, and I can do whatever I want,” he purred suggestively. 

 

Eren laced his fingers through the man’s dark hair, gripping tightly. “Well then. You can do me…” A blush crossed the boy’s cheeks, his voice dropping to a whisper. “If you want, that is…” His sudden confidence was lost after realizing that he had started to command the older man.  _ What on earth? Where did that even come from? I’m in no position to do that…. He wouldn’t even listen to me anyway… _

 

Levi traced circles with his finger in the small of Eren’s back, planting light kisses down the boy’s chest. “I may be interested in that offer…. It sounds like an appealing option.” He slowly started to drag his hands up the boy’s back, pulling his shirt off and tossing it to the side. He lightly traced his fingers down Eren’s sides, the boy trembling against his touch. He smirked as he took note of Eren’s growing erection.  _ Good to know I affect him as much as he does me.  _ Levi hooked his thumbs in the waistband of the boy’s pants, slowly pulling them down around his ass. He quickly took note of Eren’s breathing elevating. The boy whimpered as his pants fell from his legs, pooling on the floor. Levi’s eyes shot up to his face, chest tightening when he found the boy’s eyes scrunched shut as he bit down on his thumb. Levi stood and took the boy’s hand away from his lips. He gently kissed the red bite marks. “Eren… Shhh… You’re okay, babe… If you don’t want this, just tell me…”

 

Eren shook his head, tears welling in his eyes. “N-no… that’s not it… I want you… I do… It’s just, this is the first time since he… And I’m…” His free hand fell to his stomach, trying to hide it. 

 

_ Oh, Eren…  _ Levi gently moved the boy’s hand from his scars and still healing cuts. Wrapping his arms around the boy, he gently pushed him back, supporting him with his forearms. He proceeded to softly kiss every single marr on the boy’s skin. “You are so beautiful… These scars are part of what makes you Eren. And I love them, just like I love you. You never need to hide them from me. I’ll go slow. If you want me to stop, just say the word.” Levi let the boy sit back up as he moved to kiss the cuts on the boy’s thighs. “Let me love you, and all of your pieces.” 

 

Eren covered his mouth, a small gasp escaping as he tried to keep from crying. “What are you doing to me… Only you, Levi…” He nodded his head in answer. “You already have all of me… I know you love me… I… I just don’t know how to love myself anymore… So… It’s so hard to understand what you see in me…”

 

Levi stood on his toes. Moving the boy’s hand, he kissed him softly. “Then let me show you….” Eren nodded, giving his approval. The man gently grasped the boy’s member, eliciting a small mewl from him.  He lowered his head and kissed the tip of the boy’s length, slowly taking him into his mouth as his hand stroked the base. Eren bit his lip, trying to keep quiet. Levi moved, trailing his tongue from base to tip. “Don’t be quiet… I want to hear you, you have such a beautiful voice. Everything about you is just so captivating… Don’t hide any of it from me…” 

 

Eren laced his fingers in Levi’s silky hair. He leaned back, supporting himself with his other hand. “Nnhg.. Levi..” He let a moan escape him as Levi’s hot mouth took all of him in, his skilled fingers tracing around his already twitching hole. Eren felt the washer switch cycles beneath him. “Well… a-at least the clothes are getting clean…You must be extra turned on right now…” He shot Levi a playful grin as the man looked up at him in wonder. 

  
_ Really? I’m sucking on his damn cock and he’s making fucking washer jokes? I guess that’s better than thinking about jumping off my balcony. I’ll take what I can get.  _ Levi stood and pulled the boy off the machine and around his waist. “That’s it, we’re going somewhere where you won’t have as much shitty material for your stand up comedy.”

 

Eren grinned and wrapped his arms around the man’s neck. “Oh, but you seemed to be enjoying me standing up for you. Or was your hot, sexy mouth around my cock just a ruse?” Levi growled and dug his fingers into the boy’s ass, carrying him to the bedroom. Tossing him onto the bed, he looked him over, eyes dark with desire.

 

“You’re mine… I hope you know that.” He flipped the boy over and quickly removed his own clothes. Reaching for his nightstand, he pulled out a small bottle. Pouring a small amount onto his fingers, he placed them at the boy’s entrance. Eren moaned, pushing himself back onto his knees and back onto Levi’s slicked fingers. “Well, well, someone is impatient today…” Levi thrust his fingers into the boy, trying to locate his spot, grinning when a shiver ran through the body beneath him accompanied by a wanton cry. “That’s what you wanted, wasn’t it? Tell me how that feels, Eren.”

 

Eren gasped at Levi’s touch, his entire body trembling with pleasure. “Ah- L-Levi… S-so.. Fuck…”

 

Once he felt that the boy was ready, he removed his hand, quickly replacing it with his own throbbing member. Eren cried out beneath him at the sudden fullness.

 

“S-so good… You f-feel so fucking g-good Levi…” Eren rocked his hips back, wanting the man to move in him.

 

“Aren’t you just a greedy little brat?” Levi pulled out to the tip before thrusting hard back into him, Eren throwing his head back with a cry as his back arched in pleasure. Levi picked up his pace, rocking his hips into the boy repeatedly.  _ God dammit he’s beautiful… I love that he just falls apart at my touch. He’s so fucking sexy… _ He grabbed a fistful of the boy’s hair, tugging gently as he thrust into him. 

  
The brunette tensed at the hand in his hair.  _ It’s just Levi. He won’t hurt me. It’s just Levi…  _ Just as quickly as it was there, the tugging was gone. Levi slowed and wrapped his arms around the boy’s chest, pulling him up to him. 

 

“Hey… shh.. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” He reached around the boy and wrapped a hand around his dripping member, stroking it to his thrusts. “Forget about it, just focus on how good this feels… Come for me, Eren… Fall apart at my touch…” 

 

The boy quickly forgot what he had even been worried about, his vision blurring as pleasure shot through him. Sitting up had caused Levi to shift just enough that he was now hitting Eren’s spot. A strangled moan escaped him as he wrapped his arms back around Levi’s neck to help support himself. “F-fuck… Levi… K-keep doing that… I-I’m gonna c-come…” 

 

Levi groaned as Eren tightened around him, his own release coming quickly after the boy in his arms. The two collapsed onto the bed, Eren trembling in his arms. “I love you so much, Eren. You’re so fucking beautiful… I’ll make you believe it one day… But until then, just let me love you enough for both of us…” Levi drew mindless circles against the boy’s skin with his fingers as they laid together, breathing falling back into a normal rhythm. 

 

“Hey… I have a question.” Eren tilted his head, trying to look up at Levi. “How do you afford to live here? You don’t seem to have a job and you’re always with me… You’re not shirking responsibilities for me are you?” A slight note of panic laced through his voice at the last sentence. 

 

“No, of course not. Calm down. My family is… Well off. As long as I continue to do something with my life and go to school, they pay for my living expenses. I’m something of their ‘golden child.’ They think I can do no wrong for some ungodly reason. I tried to get a job and provide for myself on my own, and Maman simply wouldn’t have it.”  _ She would love him… I really should take him home to meet her.  _ “Eren?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Would you like to meet them? It's only a three hour trip. We could go up after finals next week.”

 

“Oh my god. Finals. I forgot! But yeah, I would like to meet them… If you wanted me to.”  _ Wow, meeting his family? That’s like… not usually something people do unless they’re serious, right? He’s serious about me?  _ Eren’s heart fluttered at the thought. 

 

Levi hugged him tighter, kissing the top of his head. “Of course I want you to meet them. I’m proud of you and want Maman to meet you.”

 

_ He’s proud of me? But… I’m nothing to be proud of… I’m just a broken thing… _ The boy nuzzled closer to Levi. 

 

Levi felt the shift in Eren’s attitude and didn’t like it. “Hey now. You’re worth my pride.” He tilted the boy’s face up to meet his, kissing him softly on the lips. “Don’t go putting such shitty ideas in your head. I know what you’re thinking. You can’t hide much from me anymore, kid.” Levi chuckled when he heard a soft growl from Eren’s stomach. “Well, how about we get up and get some food since you’re obviously hungry.” He smiled and playfully poked the boy’s side. 

 

Eren blushed and squirmed away from Levi’s prodding. “I-I’m not really…” He knew it was no use to argue though. His stomach was far more honest than he was. 

 

Levi rolled out of bed, gently pulling Eren along with him. “Come on, babe, I’ll teach you how to cook if you want.” That did the trick. Excitement lit up the brunette’s face as he leapt out of bed. He grabbed some pajama pants out of his bag and was gone to the kitchen. Levi smiled as he pulled on some pants of his own and followed the excited boy. “How do fajitas sound? They’re pretty easy to make.”

 

Eren shrugged, “I wouldn’t know. I’m actually not sure if I’ve ever had fajitas. But I’ll do my best. Just tell me what to do!” Eren shot him a nervous smile, worried that he would mess up dinner if he helped. 

 

“Okay, you can slice the peppers and onions.” Levi couldn’t help but let his eyes linger on the shirtless boy.  _ He’s got a gorgeous body, even with his scars. I just wish they weren’t there. I wish he hadn’t had to go through the pain that prompted them. I wish he had had a normal childhood… I just want him to be happy… He will be happy from here on out, though. I’ll make damn sure of that.  _ He pulled the ingredients from the fridge and got a cutting board and a knife out. “Okay, come here so I can show you how to do this.” Once the brunette was close enough, Levi pulled him in front of him. Reaching around, he placed the knife in the boy’s hand. “Now, all you’re going to do it slice the top off of the peppers, then cut them in half like this. Now, you slice them into thin strips. You’ll do the same with the onion after you cut off both ends and peel the skin off.” He watched the boy cut a few strips on his own before he was satisfied and left him to the job. He grabbed another cutting board and knife and went to start slicing the steak. 

 

Eren worked his way through the red, orange, and yellow peppers. He then started in on the onion. He sliced off both ends and started to peel it, blinking back some tears as his eyes started to burn. He rubbed his eyes, trying to make them stop but only making it worse. He sighed and just kept cutting. It was just a part of the job. 

 

Levi decided to check on Eren’s slicing job after he finished his own.  _ He’s crying? What happened?  _ “Eren? What happened? Did you cut yourself? Why are you crying?” Levi gently took the knife out of the boy’s hand and turned him around. Reaching up, he wiped the tears away. He couldn’t help the concern that laced his voice. 

 

Eren couldn’t help but laugh at the smaller man. “Levi, it's from the onions. I’m fine. I promise.” He leaned down and placed a lingering kiss on the man’s soft lips. “You worry at such funny times…. But it's really nice to know you think of me...“   _ Oh.. He’s blushing. That’s adorable… He really is cute like that.  _ The two finished cooking dinner with no more hiccups. Sitting at the table, Eren dug in. “Oh, my god. These are delicious! Can we make them again?”

 

“Anytime you want, babe. I’m glad you like them. You did a great job cutting up the peppers and stuff. Perfect job!”  _ I know it's a simple job, but he did it well, and lord knows he could use some affirmation.   _ Levi stood from the table, gathering the empty plates. He made quick work of washing the dishes, then turned back to the boy at the table. “So….How did you manage to completely have finals slip your mind? That’s kinda something that has been discussed several times in all classes for the past like… month?”

 

Eren blushed and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “I uh… I guess there’s just been so much going on that it just didn’t register...I knew the dates, but I didn’t realize they were so close…”

 

“Well, let me know if you need help studying. We both know that you’re not exactly a natural at French.” He winked at the boy as Eren groaned in embarrassment. 

 

“You don’t have to rub it in, you big jerk…. Not all of us can be born in France, after all.” Eren stuck his tongue out at the older man, eliciting a laugh from him. 

 

“No, I suppose not. It does make things a tad easier though.” Levi ruffled the boy’s hair playfully. “Come on kid, it’s getting late. Let’s get you to bed. You already look tired.” As if to confirm Levi’s statement, Eren yawned and stretched. 

 

“Mhm… I guess I am…” He stood, wobbling slightly. Levi chuckled and wrapped an arm around his waist, guiding the boy to bed. Eren climbed onto the cloud like mattress and sighed as he sunk into the middle of it. “I fucking love your bed…. Where did you even find a mattress this comfortable?”

 

“Hmm… I honestly don’t know. Maman sent it for me. She was worried about my beauty rest or some shit.” He rolled his eyes, accentuating the sarcasm on the last part. Eren couldn’t help but giggle.

 

“Well, well, well… Mr. Sassy McSassy pants over here. I’ll be sure to tell her how much you appreciate your gift whenever I meet her.” Eren stifled another yawn, quickly curling into Levi after he laid down. “Do you think they’ll like me….? Your family I mean….” 

 

Levi pressed his lips to the boy’s forehead, smiling. “Eren, there is no way that they won’t like you. Now go to sleep, mon amour.”

 

“Okay… je t’aime, Levi… Good night..” Eren smiled against his chest and relaxed in the man’s arms, letting sleep overtake him. 

 

_ You shitty brat, pulling French on me. You play dirty.  _ Levi couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face or the happiness that filled his chest at the boy’s words. Somehow, hearing them in his first language meant so much more to him. He quickly dozed off, warmth filling him as he hugged the boy in his arms. 

 

Tuesday was filled with class for both of them and study time for Eren. Levi spent his time working on his research and thesis while monitoring the boy. They were on campus till nearly dinner before realizing how much time had passed. After dinner, they were watching tv on the couch. Levi turned to the boy next to him. “So, I’ll have to be on campus for most of the day tomorrow. There’s some work I need to do with the other grad students. You can stick around if you want, or you can come back here as long as you promise to come back and get me when I call.”

 

“Oh, okay. I’ll probably come back here to study. I don’t really like sitting on campus alone, and I won’t be able to focus if I’m sitting there while all of you are working.” 

 

“Fair enough. Well, to be honest, I’m beat. I’m going to bed. You can come along whenever you like.” Levi wandered off to the bedroom, yawning softly as he went. Eren let the show finish before turning off the TV and all the lights and following him to bed. 

 

Since it was Wednesday, Eren only had one class, and it was over around lunch time. The two met up for lunch, and Levi handed over his keys. “Do me a favor and don’t hurt her. I actually like this car.”

 

Eren shot Levi a judgemental look. “Oh, really? Her? Well then, what is  _ her _ name?” 

 

“What on earth makes you think I named her?” Levi refused to meet the boy’s eyes, crossing his arms defensively. 

 

“Because you assigned her a gender. Which means you named her. So, what is it?” Eren was grinning from ear to ear, happily awaiting his answer. 

 

Levi mumbled and a faint blush crossed his cheeks. “...Petra… I named her Petra. Okay?”

 

“Hmm… I like it. I can work with that.”

 

“Well don’t work with her too hard. I don’t need you putting her face first into a tree like your car.” Concern flashed through Levi’s eyes as he realized that Eren hadn’t driven since that accident. “You will be careful, right? You promise? Your vision hasn’t been blurring again or anything, right?”

 

Eren kissed him softly, forcing him to stop talking. “Levi, shut up. You’re worrying yourself over nothing. I’m okay now. No drugs, no nightmares, well, none usually. No blurry vision. Just me. You’ve glued me back together for a little while.” Eren smiled at the man before turning on his heel and heading out the door. “I’ll be safe, I promise.” He waved over his head as he was leaving. 

 

_ Yeah… you better be… I’m not sure my heart can take another near death scare…  _ Levi shook his head as he gathered his things and made his way to the grad lounge, his thoughts never straying from all the possible things that could happen to Eren on his drive home. 

 

Eren took his time as he wandered through campus, enjoying the spring breeze and all the green on the trees around him.  _ Spring is my favorite I think, everything smells so amazing, and everything is green. Everything is so… alive. It makes you want to keep living just to see what it will do.  _ Walking past a group of girls, he froze as he heard their conversation. 

 

“Oh my god, did you guys hear about what happened with that big wig doctor who was supposed to come lecture last week? They rescheduled it for today even after everything that the news said happened! Can you believe that?”

 

“What did he do? I never actually heard?”

 

“Well, I heard that he…”

 

Eren stopped listening and broke into a run toward the parking lot.  _ God, no…. I have to get away from campus. He’s here. He’ll find me… I should let Levi know…  _  The brunette pulled his phone out, fumbling to get it unlocked, then dropping it as he ran.  _ Fuck! Please don’t be broken… _ Going back to grab it, he groaned as he looked at the screen. It was shattered, the color bleeding everywhere. He couldn’t make out a single thing on the screen.  _ Well… He needs to work on his school anyway… But… I still have to go… somewhere far away…  _ His hands shook as he struggled to unlock the Q7, climbing into the driver’s seat. He made sure to buckle his belt and pulled out of the lot as quickly as he could safely manage. Then he drove. He didn’t know where he was going, but it was going to be far away from here. 

  
Levi walked out of the building around 6:00, groaning when he realized it was pouring down rain.  _ Well, shit. I don’t think I have an umbrella anywhere here… I’ll call Eren before I wander out in this. Maybe I’ll get lucky and find one while I wait for him.  _ Levi pressed Eren’s contact in his phone and put it up to his ear.  _ It doesn’t usually take him this long to answer… I wonder if he fell asleep…  _ Levi tried to call a few more times, his worry rising with each time the call went to voicemail.  _ Oh! I know, I made sure to turn on his Find My Friends bullshit so I could keep an eye on him if need be. Cause that’s not stalker boyfriend at all, right?  _ Levi rolled his eyes at himself but was thankful that he had done it. He waited anxiously for the app to return his location.  _ What the fuck… What’s he doing so far away? That is nowhere near home! Oh my god… I hope he hasn’t done anything stupid… I swear… I thought that he understood after last time… I can’t…  _ Levi tried not to panic as he plugged the address into Google, trying to figure out where the boy had gone.  _ Wait… The aquarium? Why did he go there? Well… At least he should be safe there… _ Levi quickly called for a taxi, thanking the powers that be when he found an umbrella stashed in the grad lounge. He raced out to where he told the taxi to be, not wanting to risk missing it. Once it arrived, he gave the driver the address and told him to hurry. 


	18. A Good Coat and a Short Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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The taxi pulled into the lot that was empty save for one small green SUV. Levi’s heart stopped when he realized that there was a small body sitting beside the car as the rain poured down.  _ Eren!  _  He tossed a $100 bill at the driver and told him to keep the change as he jumped out of the taxi, racing for the shivering mass. “Eren!” He knelt by the boy, pulling him into his arms under the umbrella. “Babe, what happened? Why are you sitting out in this? I thought you were going home.” He felt bad for tossing so many questions at the boy, but he couldn’t help the words that streamed forth.

 

“I-I had to g-get away from c-campus… D-dad…”   
  
Levi tensed, his grip on the boy tightening as anger filled him. “What did he do to you? Why didn’t you call me?” 

 

“H-he didn’t do anything… I h-heard some girls t-talking. T-they said that his l-lecture got re-” Eren sneezed, sniffling as he tried to finish his sentence. “Rescheduled to today… H-he was there today. I h-had to get away.” The boy shivered violently, his lips already blue from the cold, wet rain. 

 

“Okay, we can get to that in a second. We need to get you out of the rain. Why didn’t you sit in the car?”

 

“I uh.. I l-locked the keys in there… I didn’t m-mean to… I’m sorry, Levi…” The boy started to cry as he apologized. “P-please don’t be m-mad… I didn’t mean to..” 

 

He kissed the boy’s forehead gently, brushing the wet hair out of his face. “Eren, please. I’m not mad. I could never be mad at you. Don’t worry about it. It’s got a passcode lock on the driver’s side.” He took the boy’s hand and wrapped it around the umbrella handle, then pulled off his jacket and wrapped it around the shivering wet mess. “You hold these for me. I’ll be right back, and we’ll get you in the car and turn on the heat.”  He jogged around to the other side, punching in his code and sighing in relief when the lock popped. He reached in and found the keys. Starting the car, he put the heat on full blast, unlocking the other doors, then going back to retrieve Eren. He opened the passenger side door, then scooped up the dripping boy and set him in the car, taking the umbrella and putting it away. He pressed the button on the door to turn the seat warmer on high before shutting it. 

 

He went back around to the driver’s side and hopped in. “Okay, now that we’re out of the rain… You should start to warm up here soon.” He put the Q7 in drive and started for home. He knew he had to get the boy home soon and warmed up, or it wouldn’t be good. “How long were you sitting there, Eren?” 

  
“Um… I’m not s-sure… the aquarium said I had t-to go when they c-closed… I think t-that was at s-six?”

 

Levi looked down at his clock, eyes widening when he saw the time.  _ Fuck, he sat out in that rain for over an hour and half! I have to get him home. This isn’t good… he already seems to get sick easily…  _ “Why didn’t you call me… I could have helped..”

 

“I t-tried to… I was so s-scared that I dropped my ph-phone on campus…” He reached into his back pocket then held out his hand face up, the shattered phone sitting in his palm. “I can’t see the screen at all… a-and I can’t answer anything…” 

 

Levi glanced over, taking in the phone, then noticing the cuts on the boy’s thumb and pointer finger. “What happened to your fingers... ?” 

 

“My phone kept r-ringing… I knew it w-was you because no one ever c-calls me… b-but it wouldn’t pick up… the glass did it…” 

 

Guilt washed over Levi when he realized that he had in fact caused the cuts.  _ I called him so many times… He tried to answer every time… _ He took the phone out of the boy’s hand and set it in the cup holder. Taking his hand, he lifted the cut fingers to his lips, kissing them softly. “I’m so sorry… these are my fault… Why did you come here? Why not go home?”

 

“I don’t know…. I just drove… before I knew it, I was here… Something about the water and watching all the fish was really soothing… I was happy when you brought me here…” The brunette sneezed again, a small cough following. 

 

_ Not good… we can’t be that much farther from home… _ He checked the street signs as he drove.  _ Only 10 more miles…. I can make that faster than normal.  _ He pressed on the gas, thankful that he had good tires on the Q7 in light of the massive amounts of water on the road. The rain finally ceased as they were pulling into the parking lot of the apartment building. Levi scooped the boy up in his arms and carried him in, hitting all the buttons with his elbow as he had done the first day he had brought him there. Eren turned into his chest, still shivering as a coughing fit overtook him. He could barely catch his breath. Levi held him close, soothing him as best he could. “Shhh… you’re okay, just calm down, take deep breaths when you can, it’ll pass…”  _ Fuck fuck fuck! Hot bath. He needs a hot bath, and tea! Tea fixes everything, with honey of course. That will help his throat. Then bed, with the electric blanket.  _  He struggled to get the door unlocked but finally managed it. He took the boy straight to the bathroom. Setting him down gently on the edge of the tub, he started to fill it. As it was filling, he quickly removed Eren’s dripping clothes, concern filling him when he noticed that the shaking had not gotten any better; the boy’s lips were still tinged blue. 

 

Eren hissed as Levi set him in the hot water. “It’s too hot… Levi, I can’t… it hurts!” Tears pricked at his eyes as he tried to get out, wrapping his arms around the older man’s neck. 

 

“Shhh…. I know, babe, and I’m sorry… It’s because you’re so cold. It’ll go away quickly, I promise. I have to get you warmed up though. You’re too cold.” Eren cried softly as he continued to cling to Levi, eventually relaxing as the water warmed his frozen limbs. Levi made quick work of washing the boy’s hair and rubbing him down, trying to make sure all the blood was flowing back where it needed to be. Once he was content and the shivering had subsided for the most part, he drained the tub and wrapped the boy up in a towel. He scooped him up and carried him off to the bedroom. Laying him on the bed, he went in search of some warm pajamas for him to wear, quickly returning when he heard the boy start to cough again. He sat down and rubbed his back, trying to soothe him. “Here, let's get these on and get you under the blankets. Then I’ll make you some tea; that will help with the coughing.” Eren nodded weakly as he helped Levi get the clothes on him. 

 

Eren curled into a ball under the blankets, the shivering quickly returning.  _ So cold… I don’t want to say anything though… He already looks upset…  _ He was thankful when Levi turned the electric blanket on for him. The warmth was welcome even if it wasn’t doing much just yet. His eyes followed Levi as he left the room, muttering something about needing to get tea.  _ Don’t leave me alone.. Please… I’m sorry…  _ Eren squeezed his eyes shut, forcing back the tears that threatened to fall. He tried to keep from coughing, but it was pointless. His chest ached as he tried to at least be quiet about it.

 

Levi returned with a mug of tea in hand, quickly returning to the boy’s side when he saw his face scrunched up in pain. He sat on the edge of the bed, running his fingers through the boy’s hair, then rubbing his back. “Shh, you’re okay, babe. Just relax.” He set the tea on the nightstand and pulled Eren up against his chest, bringing the warm liquid to his lips. “Here, drink this, it’ll help.” The boy cautiously sipped at the steaming liquid. 

 

_ Oh… My throat feels a little better… That’s nice actually… I’m glad he came back… Levi… Don’t leave me alone… Dad’s still here…  _ Eren weakly banded his arms around Levi’s waist. 

 

Levi shifted to set the tea back on the nightstand. He turned back to the brunette attached to his waist when he felt the weak grip tighten. “Eren, what’s th-” Words caught in his throat when his eyes met Erens wide fear filled ones.  _ Shit… What’s going on…  _ “Eren, kid, I’m not leaving. You’re safe.” Levi shifted and laid down, taking Eren with him. He pulled the boy against his chest and brought the covers back over them. He knew he would quickly get too hot for comfort, but Eren was worth it.  The boy drifted into a fitful sleep. Levi’s chest hurt as he listened to his mumbling. 

 

“N-no… don’t go… L-levi.. He’s g-gonna get me… he’ll come back… kill me…” Eren struggled in Levi’s arms, trying to get away as he started to cough. “No!” The boy gasped for air between rounds. 

 

“Eren, babe, wake up!” Levi shook him gently; this was more than just coughing. Eren’s eyes flew open, searching for whatever it was that had him so scared. His eyes found Levi as he struggled to get his coughing under control. Tears started to fall, and he buried his face in Levi’s chest. 

 

“He found me… I c-couldn’t breathe… L-Levi he…” The boy’s hands flew to his throat as if to make sure there really wasn’t a set of hands there already. “H-he was choking me… I was…” He choked on his words, Levi tightening his arms around the trembling boy. “I was dying… I was so scared…” 

 

Levi ran his finger’s through the boy’s hair, attempting to soothe him. “Shh... he’s not here, Eren. It's just you and me. He doesn’t know where we are. You’re safe. I promise you, I will protect you, and I will not let him lay another finger on you. It will be the last thing he does if he dares to come near you again…” Levi thought back to the gun he had stashed in the back of his nightstand.  _ He damn well better stay away, or I won’t fucking hesitate to protect my family. He will not lay another finger on him.  _

 

Eren took an unsteady breath, slowly calming. “I-I know you will… I’m sorry…” 

 

Levi sighed softly, nuzzling against the top of the boy’s head. “Oh, Eren, you never have to apologize to me. Je t'aime. Je veux vous protéger...toujours et à jamais.” He smiled as he felt Eren’s hands tighten their grip on his shirt. “I mean it, kid…” He was relieved when the boy in his arms finally relaxed. Eventually, his breathing leveled out, and he started to snore softly. 

 

Levi hit the snooze on his alarm as light streaked through the balcony doors.  _ There is no fucking way he is going to class today. Which means neither am I.  _ Neither of them had slept much; Eren’s coughing had kept them both up. He relaxed back into the bed, tracing circles on Eren’s arm with his fingers.  _ He needs more sleep if he’s going to get better.  _ But there wouldn’t be anymore sleep for the boy. He started to cough again, waking himself up. Levi kissed Eren on the forehead, brow furrowing in worry at how warm he was. “Good morning, mon amour. Can I get up for a minute? I need to go get something from the bathroom…” Eren nodded, pulling his arms away from the man. Levi kissed him again and quickly went to the bathroom to retrieve his thermometer. Going back to the boy, he sat beside him and ran the sensor across his forehead, checking the small display when it beeped.  _ 102… I need to get him some Tylenol or something to help get this down.  _

 

Eren tried to sit up, his head quickly letting him know that was a bad idea. The room spun and he fell back into the pillows again. “Ugh… do I have to move…?”  _ I don’t feel good… at all.. I’m still cold, and my head hurts, and now I’m dizzy. My chest hurts from coughing, and I can barely swallow from how swollen my throat is… _

 

Levi shook his head, brushing the boy’s hair out of his face and letting his hand rest on his cheek. “No, you can lay here as long as you want. How are you feeling? I can get you some medicine to help you, but I need to know what’s going on first.” 

 

Eren curled his fingers around Levi’s hand. “I’m dizzy, and cold, my head hurts, my chest hurts, and my throat hurts… I don’t want to even think about moving…” 

 

“Okay...I’ll be right back..” Levi smiled softly then went back to the bathroom.  _ Okay…Tylenol is all he is getting… I don’t want a repeat of the last time he took pills… I’m worried though; this may be more than a simple cold...  _  He dug through the closet in the bathroom, trying to locate the medicine. He pulled out a bottle of cough syrup that was expired and set it on the counter to throw away, finally locating the Tylenol.  _ Thank god. It's not a lot, but it's a start.  _ He poured two small pills out of the nearly empty bottle and handed them to the boy. “Here, hold these. I’m going to go get you some water.” 

 

Levi returned shortly with a glass of water and handed it to Eren who dropped the pills into his mouth and chased them down with the cool liquid.  _ I’m hungry…. I wonder if I can get up long enough to eat… _ “Levi…?” Just as the man was about to answer, Eren’s stomach growled. He flushed in embarrassment, Levi chuckling softly. 

 

“Hungry, got it. Anything in particular sound good?” Eren shrugged and started to try and get out of bed. “Ah, ah, ah. You stay here. I’ll bring you food. Just rest, kid.” Levi took off for the kitchen and made a quick breakfast of toast, scrambled eggs, sausage, and more hot tea. Eren pushed himself up against the headboard as he returned to the room. Levi handed the boy his plate, then sat on the edge of the bed next to him. 

 

“What about your food, Levi? Aren’t you going to eat too?” Levi reached out and pressed a hand to Eren’s cheek, brushing his thumb along his lips. The boy sighed, pressing his face into the comforting touch. 

 

“Yes, I’ll eat. But only after I know you’re okay and that you’ve eaten. I’m not really hungry quite yet anyway.” That was a huge lie, but he was more worried about Eren than his own needs. He could eat after the boy was done and resting. He watched the brunette intently as he took small bites of the eggs, thankful that he was eating. He took a bite of the toast. As he was swallowing, he started to cough again. 

 

_ Can’t breathe… It’s stuck…  _ Eren’s eyes widened as he coughed, unable to inhale past the piece of bread now stuck in his throat. Levi jumped into action, reading the situation quickly. He took the plate from Eren, setting it safely aside, and patted the boy on the back, trying to help dislodge the piece of food. Finally, it freed itself, Eren gasping at the sudden influx of air. He panted as he tried to calm down. “I-I don’t think I’m hungry anymore… S-sorry, Levi…”

 

“It’s okay, you’re fine. I’m sorry, I should have made you something easier to eat. This was my fault. You’re okay.” Levi held the boy close, rubbing his back as he continued to tremble in his arms. 

 

Eren’s voice was weak as he spoke. “Go eat breakfast, Levi… I know you’re hungry… I think I’m just going to go back to sleep…”

 

“Okay… Well, just call for me if you need anything, or you can text me. I don’t care what it is, just let me know what I can do to help.” Levi kissed his forehead. Picking up the plate, he went back out of the room. 

 

_ I don’t want to be a bother to him…. I know he’s there to help, but I need to do what I can on my own. Especially since he needs to make sure he’s ready for finals next week… I have to study for mine at some point, too…   _ Eren dozed off for a while before his coughing woke him up again.  _ Ugh… I need to get to the bathroom… It's not that far; I can get there without Levi. Something that small is no big deal.  _ He stood up shakily and wobbled to the bathroom, keeping a hand on the wall to support himself. After finishing up and washing his hands, he tried to make it back to bed. Before he could get there, the room around him started to spin.  _ Shit… Not now. Let me get back first… _ He pressed his back against the doorframe, trying to steady himself.  _ I can’t do it… I need Levi…  _ He fought back frustration at the realization that he couldn’t do something as simple as walking without help, calling out weakly for Levi as he slumped down to the floor. 

 

Levi was reviewing one of his finished projects when he heard a small voice carry in from the bedroom.  _ Eren?  _ He got up from the couch and went into the bedroom, panicking slightly when his eyes fell on the empty bed. He looked around the room and found the boy sitting on the floor with his back to the doorframe, head leaned back against it with eyes closed. “Eren? What happened?”

 

He looked toward the sound of Levi’s voice. His dull eyes had a flash of frustration in them. “I just needed to go to the bathroom. Why can’t I do something so simple by myself?”

 

The older man went over and sat next to him, pulling him against his chest. “Eren, you’re sick. It’s not so bad to need help to do simple tasks when you don’t feel well. Let me help you…” He pressed his lips to the boy’s temple, trying to gauge if his fever had gone down any.  _ He’s still too warm. That stuff needs to kick in faster. It's been nearly an hour and a half since he took it.  _

 

“I don’t like it…” He huffed, his voice quiet. “Why am I so dizzy… It won’t stop…” 

 

Levi stood and picked the boy up in his arms, carrying him back to bed. “Just sleep, it will help. I’ll bring you some more tea, and maybe something easier to eat.”

 

“I don’t want food… I’m not hungry…”  _ It nearly killed me last time… I don’t want to eat again…  _

 

_ He needs to eat, that’s the only way he’s going to get better any faster.  _ “Can’t you at least try? You’ll feel better and won’t be so dizzy if you eat…” The brunette shook his head, making it clear that he had no intention of eating anytime soon. Levi sighed and went to at least get him the tea. Once he brought it back, Eren sipped at it cautiously, wincing as he swallowed.   _ Dizzy, fever, won’t eat, can’t even drink without it hurting… _ “Babe… maybe we should go to the doctor…? This could be more than just a cold.”

 

Eren froze at the suggestion. “No. Absolutely not.” His voice quivered at the thought. Levi tried to reason with him, but he was having none of it. 

 

“Look, this could be bronchitis or something; it could require antibiotics. Please? I’ll go with you. You’ll be fine.”

 

“No. I won’t go. If it's something serious, then I guess this is just how I’ll go.” He felt guilty after saying that when he saw the pain that filled Levi’s eyes. “I didn’t… Don’t take it like that, Levi…”

 

“Don’t talk about you dying to me… You don’t understand, I guess… I don’t want to lose you, too… Not if there was something I could do about it… If this isn’t better by tomorrow night, we’re going…” Levi turned and walked out of the room, hands balled into fists. 

 

_ I didn’t mean to upset him… I just… I don’t think he understands how much I hate doctors… blame my piece of shit dad… he said that he didn’t want to lose me too though… Who else has he lost? I know there is someone because he sings about her when he thinks I’m asleep. And he got upset when I asked about it weeks ago. I wonder if I’ll ever learn more about him. He already knows so much about me… I need to figure something out to make myself better before tomorrow night…   _ Eren laid back and tried to sleep some more. He woke up again around four. Levi still wasn’t around.  _ I should apologize… _ He pulled out his phone and texted him an apology, then pulled the blankets up over his head and tried to go back to sleep. 

 

“What are you apologizing for?”

 

He peeked out from under the blankets. Levi was leaning against the bedroom door, his phone in hand. “For upsetting you earlier… I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry…” Levi sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He started walking over to the bed. Eren hid under the blankets again.

 

Levi sat on the edge of the bed and uncovered the boy’s face. “I know you didn’t mean it. But… I don’t think you understand just how important you are to me… I just want to take care of you, and you’re so stubborn and won’t let me half the time... “ He softly brushed his fingers down the side of Eren’s face, leaning over to kiss the boy. “I just want you to be safe and happy… That’s all… Are you hungry? You haven’t eaten all day… I can make some soup? That would be really easy to eat and wouldn’t hurt your throat.”

 

“I don’t know, Levi… I don’t think I can eat yet… I’m just going to go back to sleep for a while… Go ahead and work on your projects and study for finals and stuff.”

 

“Okay, well…. If you need me, just text. I wish you would eat something. Also, I don’t have to take finals. That’s just you. I do have a project to finish, however.” He kissed the boy on the forehead and went back to the living room. 

 

Eren tossed, trying to fall back asleep, but to no avail. After a particularly painful coughing fit, Eren stumbled to the bathroom to see if there was any kind of medicine he could take.  _ Oh, there’s cough medicine here. I wonder if Levi left it out for me?  _ He unscrewed the cap and took several gulps from the half empty bottle, gagging at the bitter taste.  _ Ick… this is worse than the Jaeger I think… Oh well… I’ll take it with me in case I wake up and need more. _ He managed to make it back to bed, setting the nearly empty bottle on the nightstand. Curling up under the blankets, he quickly fell asleep. 

 

Not long after, Levi returned to the room to check on the boy.  _ I know I heard him coughing earlier… But now there’s nothing. Maybe he fell asleep?  _ He was somewhat relieved when he saw the boy sleeping peacefully. He straightened the blankets and brushed the messy brown hair out of the boy’s face, leaning down and kissing him softly.  _ Alcohol? Where did he….?  _  He looked around quickly, concern growing. His eyes fell on the expired bottle of cough syrup.  _ Ugh. Why did you drink that? It’s expired, kid…  _  He picked up the bottle and gasped quietly.  _ Fucking hell, Eren! There was half a bottle here! You drank enough for like, three people!  _ He knew that there would be no lasting harmful effects, especially since it was expired. But still, this wasn’t the first time that the boy had abused medication.  _ Doesn’t he fucking think? Or better yet, just fucking ask for my help. Don’t self medicate yourself, brat! We’re going to have to put a stop to this habit… I can’t go through this again… Especially not with him…  _ Levi decided to stay with him until he woke, worried about his brat. Levi faded in and out of consciousness, trying to make sure that he would be awake whenever Eren finally woke. 

 

Eren felt groggy as the ceiling came into focus.  _ Ugh… I feel like shit… I’m so hungry…  _ He tried to sit up, but didn’t have the strength.  _ Everything is so heavy…  _ “L-Levi…?”

 

“Huh…? Eren, you’re awake? How are you feeling?” Levi rubbed his eyes, voice rough from sleep.  Propping himself up on an elbow, he looked down at the boy. 

 

“Everything feels so heavy… and I’m shaky… and starving… I’m sorry… But, is there anything I can eat?” Eren blushed, feeling silly for asking when Levi had been trying to get him to eat all day. 

 

“Yeah, no problem. I can heat up some soup. You just stay here. I’ll be back.” He rolled out of bed, checking the time as he went.  _ Hm, three in the morning? Geez, kid… Oh well, at least you woke up and are actually asking for food. That’s improvement.  _ He went out to the kitchen, pulling the bowl of soup out of the fridge that he had made for Eren earlier in case he changed his mind. He placed it in the microwave and warmed it. Grabbing a spoon, he brought the warm food back to Eren. 

 

The boy reached to take the spoon from Levi, sneezing as he tried to grab it and dropping it on the bed. “S-sorry…” He reached for the spoon, picking it up this time. 

 

Levi carefully handed him the bowl with a skeptical look. “Will you be okay? You’re not going to explode on me and send soup all over the bed are you?” 

 

“N-No! Of course not!” Eren blushed and looked down at the bowl in his hands. He sniffled, trying to clear his stuffy nose. “I’m not going to explode…” He mumbled under his breath. 

 

Levi chuckled softly and kissed the top of the boy’s head. “I was just teasing, Eren. I’m happy you’re finally eating. Take your time, kiddo. Also, can you do me a favor?” Soft, green eyes gazed back at him nodding for him to continue. “No more self medicating. If you think you need medicine, ask me first? I’m not trying to be controlling, I just want to make sure you take it safely and in the correct dosages. You have a knack for overdoing it….”

 

“Y-yeah… Sorry… I’ll talk to you first from now on.” Eren looked down into his bowl, feeling guilty for not talking to Levi first. He sipped at the liquid, thankful for the soothing warmth on his sore throat. “This is good… It's not canned, is it? It's too good to be canned.”

 

Levi theatrically placed a hand over his heart. “You wound me! When would I ever serve you something out of a can? You’re not a dog, you know.” He chuckled softly and patted the boy on the top of the head. “It is most certainly made from scratch.” 

 

Eren couldn’t help but smile at Levi’s antics. “Well… It’s delicious.” He finished off what was in the bowl and handed it back to the older man. “Um… Could I maybe…” His stomach growled quietly before he had a chance to finish.    
  
Levi leaned over and kissed him softly. “Of course you can have more. I’ll be right back.”  _ He never asks for seconds. Thank goodness, he must be feeling better.  _ Levi could feel some of the tension that had built up over the last few days slowly draining away. As long as Eren was happy and safe, then he was happy. He brought the refilled bowl back and watched as he drained it. Levi set the bowl aside and climbed back in bed with the now sated brunette. Wrapping his arms around the slim frame, the two faded back into sleep. 

 

Levi decided that they would stay home again the next morning; it was Friday, anyway. He helped Eren study for his finals over the next three days and continued to make sure he drank tea and ate. Come Monday, all the boy had were the sniffles, and finals week was underway. 

 

Levi waited impatiently outside Eren’s last final on Wednesday afternoon. He had a small black drawstring pouch clutched in his hand, both hands in his pockets. He started to feel silly as he found himself getting nervous every time the door opened, only to be disappointed when it wasn’t Eren walking out. Finally, the green eyed boy emerged from the classroom. Levi quickly grabbed his wrist and pulled him out of the way of the door. “You’re done now, right?” He could feel heat rising to his face, and it only flustered him more.  _ God dammit, this kid fucks with me… It’s like I have no control of my emotions anymore.  _ Eren nodded with a confused look on his face. Levi rubbed the back of his neck nervously, the hand with the bag still in his pocket, fist tightening around it. “I uh… Well.. First, congratulations on becoming a junior…”

 

“First? Well, thank you… you can’t really say that until we know if I passed all my classes though. I don’t think it counts unless I pass, personally at least. But what’s the second thing?”  _ What’s he up to? I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this nervous. And is he… Blushing?! Levi? Wow… He’s fucking adorable. _ Eren couldn’t help but grin at the thought. 

 

“What on earth are you smiling about?” The blush on his face darkened slightly. This was getting harder to follow through on. 

 

Eren shook his head laughing softly. “Nothing! Nothing at all. Keep going.”

 

Levi huffed in exasperation before taking a deep breath and continuing. He pulled the bag from his pocket. Taking Eren’s wrist in hand, he turned it over and placed the bag in his palm. “This is just something small… since you finished finals…”

 

The boy carefully opened the bag and dropped the contents out into his hand. A small golden key with a string of numbers engraved on it landed softly in his outstretched palm. Green eyes looked back up to meet grey ones, confusion evident on his face. 

 

“So you’ll never get locked out again… It's the key to my apartment, and the code to the Q7 is engraved on it…” Levi glanced out the window across the hall, embarrassment growing at how silly that sounded to him. He gasped, eyes snapping forward as an arm encircled his waist, pulling him against the taller boy. Eren’s lips were against his, kissing him softly, then resting his forehead on Levi’s. 

 

“Thank you… It’s perfect. And I was smiling at how fucking adorable you are when you blush. I love it.” He kissed him again before backing away and grasping the man’s hand. “Let’s go home, Levi.” The couple walked hand in hand back to the car, happy to be done with campus for a few months and ready to enjoy the summer -- Together. 

 


	19. Memories of Nobody

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your continued support! Levi is in for a rough time this go round ~_^ hope you enjoy!
> 
> Please give comments! They feed the authors ^_^

Eren happily helped Levi in the kitchen as they made dinner Thursday night. He was finally getting the hang of cooking, thanks to Levi.  _ He looks like he’s enjoying himself… But… There’s something about that look in his eyes… Like he’s pushing me away… Or locking himself away. I don’t understand….  _ The two ate in silence. Afterward, Levi rose and started to take care of the dishes. Eren followed him, wrapping his arms around the man’s slim waist and resting his head on his shoulder. He felt Levi stiffen in his arms.  _ What? He’s never done that to me. Not to say I haven’t deserved it before, but still… What is going on? _  The boy reached over and turned off the water, taking the scrub brush out of Levi’s hand and turning him around.

 

Levi sighed and looked up at the boy. “What is it, Eren? I’m trying to get these done. You know I can’t stand it when things aren’t clean.”

 

Eren placed a hand on the man’s cheek, locking eyes with him. “Are you okay?” Concern filled him as he watched Levi retreat deeper into himself, his eyes quickly answering the boy’s question. “I feel the same way towards you… I know usually I’m the one who needs help, but… Let me help you, too…”

 

Levi turned and broke away from the boy’s arms. “I don’t know what makes you think that I need any help. I’m fine. Go get ready for bed. I’m just going to finish up in here.”

 

45 minutes later, Levi finally walked through the bedroom door. Eren was waiting cross legged in the middle of the bed. He continued waiting as he watched Levi head into the bathroom. Hearing the water come on, he knew that it would be a bit before the man came back.  _ He takes unnaturally long showers. It’s like the water is never good enough to get him as clean as he’d like. I’ll never understand….  _ Finally, Levi emerged, wearing grey pants and a black t-shirt. He looked completely out of it, and that only worried Eren more.  _ He is never this out of it. Ever. Levi is always on top of everything….  _  The older man laid on his back right at the edge of the bed. Eren reached out and placed a hand over the older man’s, rubbing his thumb against the back of it. “Do you think you got that water hot enough, Levi? You almost look burned…”

 

Levi closed his eyes and sighed. “It wasn’t nearly hot enough. I’m fine. Don’t worry yourself, brat.” He pulled his hand away and rolled over, facing away from the boy. Eren timidly reached out for his back but thought better of it and laid down on his own side of the bed. Somehow, everything suddenly seemed so much colder.  _ Brat? He hasn’t called me that in a long time… There is definitely something wrong… Wait. Maybe I’m what’s wrong… That’s the only thing I can think of…  _ Eren curled up in a small ball clutching his sting ray to his chest, replaying everything that had gone on between them the last two day, trying to find anything at all that could explain why Levi was suddenly so frigid. For the first time in months, Eren didn’t sleep.

 

He felt Levi roll out of bed as the sun was starting to peek through the balcony door. He heard the shower kick on again and rolled over into the still warm spot the man had left behind. Pressing his face into the pillow, he took a deep breath.  _ I love his smell… I still don’t know what I did… And he’s taking another shower? Maybe since he’s slept, he’ll talk to me… _  The boy sat up, hugging the Levi scented pillow to his chest, and waited.

 

Levi wandered out of the bathroom, his whole body numb.  _ I fucking hate today. I just need to not talk about it. Keep Eren out of it, and let the day pass. Everything will be fine.  _ He looked up, meeting eyes with Eren.  _ He didn’t sleep. I haven’t seen circles that dark under his eyes since the overdose…  What happened last night? I don’t think I was that out of it. I’m sorry, Eren, but I can’t today… I promise… I’ll make it up to you tomorrow… _  He broke his gaze. Heading off to the closet, he got ready for the day. “Hurry up and get dressed if you want to eat. I’m going to make breakfast.”

  
By the time Levi was setting plates on the table, Eren had finally come out of the bedroom. “Levi… Are you sure you’re okay?” He jumped when Levi slammed the bottle of orange juice on the table.

 

“I already told you. I’m fine. So stop fucking asking.” The man never looked up, sitting himself down at the table and starting to pick at his own food. After a few moments, he realized that Eren wasn’t sitting down yet. “Are you going to let yours get cold, brat? You should have said something if you weren’t hungry.” His eyes snapped up when he heard something fall on the counter. Eren was wide eyed, bracing himself against the counter, looking down at the floor. His hand was gripped tightly to his chest in an all too familiar fashion, his breath already coming in short gasps. Levi sighed as he pushed his chair out and walked over to the boy. He grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him gently to get his attention. “Eren. For fuck’s sake. Calm down. It’s just food.” The boy tensed in his grasp, his breathing not changing. “God dammit, brat, calm down! Nothing is wrong! You’re fine.” He felt bad as his voice rose. He knew there was no reason to be yelling at Eren, but it was beyond his control today. It felt as though a knife had been driven through his chest when those green eyes finally looked up at him. The pain and self hatred he found there shook him.

 

Tears welled in the boy’s eyes as he broke away from Levi’s grasp and stumbled along the wall to the bedroom. “I’m fine!” He spat back at the man he left behind, struggling to compose himself just long enough to shut the door before he fell to his knees.  _ He hates me… I don’t even know what I did… I need to do something to calm down… anything… shower… water was calming at the aquarium… maybe it will help…  _ The shaking boy crawled to the bathroom. Pulling himself into the tub, he switched the shower on. He pulled his knees to his chest and cried under the steady stream of water, gasping for air between the attack and his sobs.  _ I fuck everything up… I knew this was too good to be true… How stupid can I be… _

 

Levi slammed his fist against the marble countertop. “God dammit!”  _ It’s not your fault, Eren… This is all on me today… I’m so sorry… I need to do something to get this under control before I break him… He can’t handle all this… _  Muttering under his breath about what a pain in the ass it was to get to the alcohol, he pulled out a small step ladder. He had purposely stashed all the alcohol in a cabinet above the sink so that he wouldn’t get it unless he really needed it. His pride wouldn’t let him get that step ladder out easily. It was also a safe spot to keep it away from Eren in case he got anymore bright ideas. Digging around in the cabinet, he pulled out a bottle of scotch. Getting down, he retrieved a glass and poured himself some.  _ I can’t remember the last time I drank… I guess it was this time last year…  _  He quickly downed the glass, not caring to savor the taste at the moment, and poured another to sip on.

 

Nearly an hour later, Eren emerged in new clothes with dripping wet hair. His lips were tinged blue, and he was visibly shivering. Levi instantly knew what the boy had done. He had to make sure he was okay, but was worried he would only make the situation worse at this point. “Are you okay?” He asked in a flat tone. He had attempted to put concern into his voice, but the message was lost in translation. Eren curled up on the couch and pulled a blanket over himself. He didn’t answer, just stared out the window. “Fine. Don’t answer me.” He finished off his third glass of scotch, setting the glass down on the table in front of him. He looked confusedly over at the shivering boy when he jumped as Levi stood to fill his glass.  _ What has gotten into him… I know I haven’t been a fucking teletubby today, but he knows I won’t hurt him… _

 

_ I don’t like this…. Dad did this at first… he would get so angry, and then he would drink… after three or four, he would start going after mom… It wasn’t that much longer before he was coming after me… His eyes were always so cold and distant…. Levi…. Please… Don’t look at me with those eyes… _  He couldn’t warm himself at all. Pulling another blanket over himself, Eren tried to conserve what little body heat he had left. He faded in and out of consciousness as the lack of sleep started to catch up with him.

 

Levi glanced up at the clock.  _ Hm.. 1:30 already… I should probably make some lunch… Especially since he never ate breakfast.  _ He glanced over at the table, Eren’s plate still untouched. His head quickly turned back to the boy on the couch when he heard a quiet, pained moan coming from him.  _ I hope he didn’t go and make himself sick again…  _ Levi wandered over to the couch. Placing one hand on the arm to support himself, he leaned over the boy. With his free hand, he started to check the boy’s forehead. He had barely touched him when Eren’s eyes shot open, full blown fear filling them as he pinned himself against the back of the couch.

 

“N-no… Dad.. Please don’t…” he plead in a strangled voice. The boy scrunched his eyes shut and brought an arm up to cover his face, shaking violently. 

 

The older man’s blood ran cold when he connected the dots.  _ Oh my god. He thought I was that monster? Why? Wait… Shit. He thinks I’ve been mad at him today… And I’m drinking… Fucking shit. _  He got on his knees in front of the couch, trying to make himself less intimidating. He lightly touched the boy’s knee, trying to get him to look at him. He forced himself to maintain the low, even tone that he usually had. “Eren… It’s just Levi… Babe, please. I’m so sorry…” He failed miserably as his voice cracked. He blinked back tears as he laid his head against the edge of the couch. “Please, Eren… I’m not that monster… I will never hurt you… I’m sorry… I just… Today is…” He took a ragged breath as he tried to stay composed. “She died today… eight years ago… I’ve been trying so hard to not let this affect you, but I obviously fucking failed at that. I’m sorry that I can’t be strong for you today… Please don’t hate me… This isn’t your fault, none of today has been your fault. This is all me… Eren, I love you… I don’t know what I would do if you hated me…”

 

Eren’s chest hurt as he watched the man on his knees before him breaking apart.  _ Oh, Levi… I could never hate you… I thought you hated me… _  Eren uncurled from his ball and slid off the edge of the couch, straddling Levi’s knees. He wrapped his arms around the smaller man, pulling him tight to him. “I know you’re not him… I’m sorry… I was having a dream, and you just caught me off guard is all… Levi… Let me be your strength for once… I know I’m not the strongest person around… But I can be enough… Let me help you, don’t bottle it up…”

 

Levi was grateful for the warm arms around him, slowly regaining his composure. He shook his head slowly. “I can’t..” he whispered. “I’m sorry… I can’t talk about her…” He tried not to whimper when Eren stood. The boy pulled him up and set him on the couch. He kissed his forehead and laid a blanket across his lap.

 

“Stay. I’ll be right back.” Eren took off for the kitchen. After some clanging and the sound of water, he wandered off to the bedroom. Coming back, he detoured to the couch and set his sting ray in Levi’s lap, letting his fingers run through the man’s hair as he walked back into the kitchen. Another few minutes passed before he returned, this time with a steaming mug of tea. He handed it to Levi, then sat next to the man and pulled him against his chest, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “Someone smart once told me that tea fixes everything. So let’s start there.”

 

Levi tensed slightly before relaxing into the boy’s embrace. He sipped at his tea, his fingers picking at the sting ray in his lap.  _ Who do you think you are comforting me, you little bastard. You’re supposed to look out for Eren when I can’t…   _ His head was swimming from all the scotch, but he had never been a clumsy drunk. After a while, his stomach growled. He planned to ignore it, but Eren wasn’t going to let that happen.

 

“Oh, you’re hungry? Let me make you something!” Eren moved to get up, but Levi’s hand shot out to stop him.

  
“No, I’m fine. We can just order something whenever you get hungry. I needed to go to the store, so there isn’t anything to cook with.”  _ Mostly, I don’t want you to leave… I’ve always been alone on the anniversary of her death… It’s not so bad having him here… _

 

“Well… I’m hungry too. I didn’t eat breakfast, so I need to eat soon, or I’m going to end up fairly useless… I’ll just go to the store real quick. Besides, I want to make you something… You spent so much time teaching me how to cook. I want to pay you back…”

 

Levi sighed and shifted to get up. “Well then, I guess let’s go. You won’t know what to get, so I’ll need to come with you.”  _ I don’t want you out of my sight. I can’t drive, though. I’m too far gone. _  He picked up the keys to the Q7. Taking Eren’s hand, he led them out the door.

 

As they walked through the lobby, Eren remembered that Levi had been drinking all morning and turned to him as they came up on the door. “Levi, don’t you think I should --” Before he had a chance to finish his sentence, Levi walked face first into the pristine glass doors of the apartment building. “...drive? …Scratch that. Give me the keys, I’m driving.” The brunette plucked the keys out of the older man’s hand and pulled him close, kissing the quickly forming red spot on his forehead. “Come on, love. I’ll take care of you.” Levi sighed and allowed the boy to lead him to the car. The couple got into the car and headed to the store.

 

Levi directed Eren in the store on what to get to last them the next week or so with groceries. He was curious what the boy was going to make for dinner when they got back, however. “Eren, what are you planning for dinner? You still haven’t told me.”

 

“Well… I was planning on spaghetti and meatballs if that’s okay? I feel pretty confident that I can do that and let you relax…” He already had the spaghetti in the cart and was heading toward the frozen section. “I don’t really know how to make meatballs though, so I’m just getting frozen ones…”

 

“That sounds good. I’m sure it will be good no matter what. Remind me another day, and I’ll teach you how to make them from scratch.” Levi let a small, sad smile ghost across his lips before looking back down at his feet. He was trying to make sure he didn’t trip all over himself, just to be safe. He had already walked into a door, after all.

 

“I’d like that… I want to be able to take care of you as much as you take care of and support me… I mean, I’m not much good if I can’t even keep you from starving to death, ya know?”

 

Levi stopped in his tracks and stared at the boy, dumbfounded. The beautiful brunette kept walking, not even noticing that he had stopped.  _ He has no idea. He saves me every day. I’ve never let anyone this close… not even Isabel. Or him… Jesus, Eren, how can you be so blind? _  Levi shook his head, instantly regretting the action.  _ Ugh. Bad idea. I need to catch up to him though. _

 

Eren realized that there were no longer soft footsteps behind him. He turned and saw Levi slightly hunched over, head in his hand.  _ Oh boy. Maybe I should have made him stay home after all… But I honestly would have been lost in here without him. I would have come home with ramen and hamburger helper. If that. Probably mostly ramen and pizza rolls to be honest.  _ He left the cart and backtracked to the smaller man. He wrapped his arms around him, holding him close. “You okay? Do you need to sit down? I can find you a bench or something.”

 

Levi leaned into the boy, thankful for the support even if he wouldn't admit it out loud. “No, I’m okay. Let’s just hurry up and get home. You need to eat more than I do, so we should get back.”

 

Eren kissed the top of his head. Keeping an arm around the man’s waist, he guided him back to the cart. “Here, how about you handle the cart. That way you’ve got some support. I think we have everything, anyway. Unless you can think of something else?” Levi shook his head slowly and headed for the checkout.

 

“No, I’m ready to go.” Eren unloaded the contents of the cart on the belt. Swiping his own card, he paid for the groceries. After loading it all in the car, they were headed back. Once back at the apartment, Eren grabbed a few bags and helped Levi upstairs. He quickly went back to the car and got the rest. When he came back, Levi was trying to put away the groceries but was failing miserably. He looked lost in his own kitchen.

 

Eren couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay, Levi, how about I take care of all that. You go sit on the couch or something.” Levi opened his mouth to protest but Eren covered it quickly. “No. Go. I’ve got this.” He kissed him on the cheek and gently nudged him out of the room. The man shot him a glare but did as he was told. Working quickly, Eren placed the meatballs in a large saucepan with a jar of sauce and turned on the burner. He then got a pot of water going for the pasta.  _ Okay! I can do this. It’s super simple, and there is no way I can fuck this up.  _  When the food was almost done, he popped a tray of garlic bread into the oven to let it warm up. He drained the pasta and started to plate everything. He set the table, admiring his handiwork. “Okay, dinner's ready I think, Levi!”

 

Levi trudged into the kitchen, already looking like every sound was too loud and each light was too bright. “Well… it smells good. Thanks, babe.” He let his hand rub across Eren’s back as he went to his seat. “Wait… Did you forget something?”

 

“Um… no, I don’t think I did. Why?” Eren looked over at the man in confusion.

 

“I smell something burning…” Eren’s eyes widened. He turned and quickly went back to the oven. He groaned as he pulled out a tray of what looked like charcoal.

 

“Dammit… I knew I’d fuck something up… I’m sorry, Levi…” He fought back the urge to cry in frustration and embarrassment.  _ I can’t even do something this simple for him? Really? I’m such a loser… _

 

“Eren. It’s okay, it's an easy thing to forget. Even I’ve done it. Just leave it, turn the oven off, and come eat what we have. I promise, it’s fine.” Eren sighed and came back to the table, slumping in his chair. “What you’ve got is delicious. You did a good job, thank you.” Levi reached across the table and grasped the boy’s hand, squeezing it softly.

 

“Okay… It’s not as good as you would do… But it’s better than nothing.” The two ate in relative silence. Afterward, Eren cleaned up the entire kitchen, putting away the leftovers and tossing the burnt bread. He went to the living room, expecting to find Levi, but he was nowhere in sight. Heading to the bedroom, he found the older man sitting on the edge of the bed. He had a small picture frame in his hands. Eren crossed the room quickly when he realized that Levi’s shoulders were shaking. “Levi..” The boy sat beside him, wrapping an arm around his waist.

 

“I miss her, Eren… You would have loved her. She was so fucking energetic. And happy all the time. She had a thing for animals. Loved the fuckers. She…” His voice broke as he struggled to hold back a sob. Eren climbed up on the bed, then pulled the smaller man into his lap, holding him close.

 

“Will you tell me about her? If you don’t want to, that’s okay, but… I know it will help…”

 

Levi tensed slightly. “Tch… How can you be so sure?” He hadn’t talked to anyone about her. Ever.

 

Eren rested his chin on the top of Levi’s head, tightening his arms around the man. “Well... It helped me a lot when I finally talked about mom and dad… Somehow, it wasn’t so hard once I told you… I’d never told anyone what he did to me… You were the first… But really, it helped. I wasn’t alone in it anymore…”

 

_ He never told anyone? Huh… I guess I do owe him at least some explanation as to why I’m a piece of shit today… Especially after what he went through this morning…  _ “She was a feisty little redheaded thing. She ran around with us when we were younger. She got… involved… in some bad things… She ended up getting addicted to drugs, and… eight years ago today, I found her passed out on the floor… I called 911, but it was too late… She overdosed on heroin…”

 

_ Oh, my god… wait… that’s it. That’s why he was so upset about the pills that time… He thought it was happening again… That was really the turning point in our relationship though, so I can’t say that I wish it hadn’t happened. But at the same time… I hate that I put him through that again…  _ “Thank you for telling me.... I love you… I’m always here to listen to you, no matter what. I owe you that, at least… And I’m so, so sorry for what I put you through…”

 

“Don’t worry about it… It’s in the past, and you didn’t do it on purpose… I’ve never told anyone about that before. Only the people that knew her at the time knew what happened.” Levi sighed, slowly calming down. He started to doze off, Eren’s steady heartbeat against his ear. He mumbled as he faded, “Thank you for everything… I’m sorry I was such a dick this morning… I love you, Eren…”

 

Eren carefully readjusted so they were both laying down. He pulled up the covers and held the man beside him. “I’d do it all again if it would help you. Goodnight, Levi…” The brunette quickly slipped into a peaceful slumber now that his love was back in his arms.

 

Saturday morning came quickly for Eren. He was thankful for the new day. Levi, on the other hand, was not prepared for the headache that came with the sun though the doors. “Ugh… remind me not to drink again. Nasty habit. Bitch to deal with the next morning.” He pulled a pillow over his face and didn’t move.

 

“Are you hungry? I can get us some cereal or something?” The boy pulled up the edge of the pillow to see the older man’s face.

 

“No.. I’m coming. We can eat together. Just don’t expect any riveting conversation or anything.” Levi slid out of bed, following Eren to the kitchen. The boy pulled out the cereal and milk, filling two bowls. He handed one to Levi, then leaned against the counter to eat his own.

 

“So… You said before that we were going to see your parents after finals… Are we still going?”

 

Levi glanced up at him in confusion. “Of course we’re still going. Maman would have my head if I backed out on her now. I could have sworn that I told you. We’re leaving Monday to go. It’s about a two and a half hour trip. It's not too terrible. I figured we could stay for a few days, all week if you wanted. Think of it as a vacation.”

 

“O-oh… that’s really soon…” Suddenly he wasn’t so hungry. Eren poked his spoon in his bowl, eyes never leaving the contents.  _ What if they don’t like me? What if I fuck something up? What if I have a panic attack while I’m there and they hate me for it? What if -  _ Suddenly hands were on either of his shoulders. The boy’s eyes shot up and met Levi’s steady grey.

 

“Eren. Calm down. They will like you. I promise. You will love Maman, and I know she will love you. You two are too similar for it to not be a thing. Eren, don’t you trust me?” Levi searched his gaze, trying to wait for him to calm.

 

“Y-yes… I trust you… I’m sorry… So.. what should I bring?”  _ I don’t even know where we’re going. What should I wear? I probably don’t have anything nice enough to wear… _

 

“I would bring something warm. It's still only going to be in the 60’s or so. So maybe jeans, tshirts, some jackets or a light sweater? Plan to be there for a few days. If we need to buy you more clothes while we’re there, I’m not opposed to it.”   _ I would love to spend money on you anyway. I’ve been dying to update your closet as is. And with you away from your apartment, that’s a perfect opportunity. _

 

“I have enough clothes! You don’t have to do that. I’ll just go back home and get more. You stay here and rest, okay? I won’t be long. I’ll just walk, too. The weather is nice today, and the fresh air would probably do me some good. Plus my suitcase is at home.”

 

Levi eyed him suspiciously, still holding his shoulders. “Are you sure you’ll be okay? I don’t mind coming with you…”  _ I’m really not sure I want him back in that apartment… At least not yet. Nothing good has come of him being there alone… _  Something in him was screaming not to let Eren go alone.  _ I really should go with him… It would be better if I stayed with him.  _ A sudden wave of nausea swept over him, and he quickly changed his mind. “Actually… I uh… I’m going to go lay down… but promise me that you’ll call if you need me? As soon as you need me.”

 

Eren set his bowl down on the counter and leaned over, kissing Levi’s forehead. “I promise, now let’s get you back to bed.” Levi was confused at the mischievous glimmer in the boy’s eyes. Suddenly his feet left the ground, and he was clutching to Eren’s shirt. “Fucking shit, brat! I swear, if you fucking drop me I’ll kick your ass into next Tuesday!”

 

The boy grinned, chuckling softly. “Don’t worry, Levi. I’ll never let you fall. You’re safe with me. I’m not as weak as I might look.” Eren carried him back into the bedroom and laid him carefully on the bed. He pulled the blankets over the man, then grabbed his stingray. He looked the little grey toy in the eyes. “Now, Levi. Take care of Levi while I’m gone. Don’t let him get lonely; he does that sometimes. But I love him, so he can’t be lonely.” Eren set the stingray down on Levi’s chest and bent over, placing a lingering kiss on the man’s soft lips. “I love you, Levi. I’ll be home soon.”

 

With that, Eren left, making sure to grab his own set of keys on the way out the door so that he would have a way to get back into his own apartment once he got there. The boy walked along the sidewalk, hands in his pockets as he took in the scenery.  _ I should get my camera while I’m there, it's so beautiful out right now. I’m missing some great pictures. I wonder if Levi will let me photograph him. I’ve wanted to since I met him, but something always happens… _  After a while of walking, his building came into view. Eren slowed, feeling more nervous the closer he got.  _ I can do this. It's just an empty room. I’ve lived there for the last year or so… It’s my home… No, not anymore. Now it's just an apartment… My home is behind me. Wherever Levi is is home for me. I just need to grab some stuff for the trip, and I can go back to him. I’ve got this. _

 

His hand shook as he unlocked the door, freezing on the knob as he went to open it.  _ You’ve got this, Jaeger. It's just an empty apartment. No one is there. You even had to unlock the door.  _ He twisted the knob, slowly pushing the door open, body already on high alert. He slid through the crack and shut the door behind him, pressing his back against the cold surface he took in his surroundings.  _ See? Empty. Safe. It’s okay.  _ He moved farther into the apartment, chest tightening with each step.  _ I just need clothes.. And my camera… and a bag… that’s it.  _ He managed to grab a bag, carefully tossing his camera in.  _ If I don’t get anything else, I want that. Especially since we’re going to see his family.  _  He started to grab clothes, his hand lingering on one particular shirt.  _ I thought I tossed this one…  _ He fought back flashbacks of the night Grisha had reappeared; he had been wearing the shirt that night.  

 

The boy backed away from the closet, legs hitting the bed as he fell back onto the mattress. He clutched at his chest, his breathing starting to come in short gasps.  _ No, he’s not here. I’m okay, calm down… _  He could hear Levi’s voice in his head telling him to call if he needed him.  _ Levi… I need Levi…  _ He fumbled around for his phone, struggling to get it out of his pocket with his shaking hands. He pressed Levi’s contact and held the phone to his ear. Guilt filled him as Levi’s sleepy voice answered after a few rings.

 

“Eren? Are you alright?” Levi froze when he heard the telltale sounds of an attack. “Eren, you’re at the apartment?” He made out what sounded like a confirmation and was out of bed in an instant. “I’m coming. Just breathe, babe. I’m on my way.” Levi grabbed his keys and was out the door and driving to the old apartment within minutes. “Listen to me, Eren. I’ll be there in just a few minutes. Just keep breathing for me, okay?”

 

Levi’s voice helped, but it wasn’t enough. Not this time. “L-Levi… H-help… I c-can’t…” Black clouded his vision as consciousness started to slip away from him.

 

“Eren, please, stay awake, just breathe for me. Babe, please…”  _ Shit! _  He heard the change in the boy’s breathing and whimpers as he passed out.  _ Fucking hell! He hasn’t passed out in weeks… What happened? Is it just that apartment? I knew that it was a bad idea for him to go alone! I should have sucked it up and gone with him.  _ Pulling up to the building, he parked and raced to the door. Finding it unlocked, he hurried inside.  _ Where are you…  _ He searched each room, finally finding the boy passed out on his bed. He sat beside him and pulled Eren’s limp body into his arms. “Come on, kid… wake up… I’m here now… I’m sorry, Eren. I should have come with you…”  

 

After a few minutes, Eren started to stir, tears falling as he regained consciousness. “L-Levi… please…” he whimpered, “g-get me out of here… I already got what I wanted in my bag… J-just please… take me home…” Levi stood with the boy. He carefully carried him out to the car, kissing him softly, then ran back in to grab the boy’s bag. He tossed as much of his clothing as would fit into the bag before locking the door and returning to the car.

 

“I’m sorry, Eren. I should have come with you…” Levi felt horrible, blaming himself for Eren’s attack. He gripped the steering wheel in anger. The boy reached over and laid a shaking hand on the man’s thigh.

 

“It’s not your fault, Levi. I wanted you to rest; you needed it. It’s my fault for not being strong enough to do something so simple on my own…” Levi turned to him, a disbelieving look on his face.

 

“Eren, you are the strongest person I know. Don’t ever think otherwise. Not even for a second.” He placed a hand on the boy’s cheek, stroking it with his thumb. “What you did wasn’t simple. That was hard. You went back to the place where a horrible thing happened, or nearly happened. You have so many memories and emotions tied up in that place. There was nothing simple about going back there alone. Do you know what specifically might have triggered it?”

 

Eren sighed, relaxing somewhat under the man’s touch. “It was the shirt I was wearing that day… I thought I had thrown it out, but somehow it ended up back in my closet.”

 

Levi suddenly felt guilty, realizing that that was probably his fault. He had done Eren’s laundry while he was there. It hadn’t even crossed his mind that something as simple as a shirt could trigger a memory like that.

 

Once they had parked, Levi moved around to meet Eren, catching him by the waist before the boy went face first into the pavement. “Ah, ah, ah, what do you think you’re doing exactly? You just had the worst attack you’ve had in weeks; you even passed out. You’re not doing anything by yourself if I have anything to say about it. You need to rest.”

 

Eren rolled his eyes. “Levi, I’m fine. I just lost my balance for a minute.” Still, the older man kept his arm around the boy’s waist as they walked.  _ Oh boy… Maybe he’s right… My legs don’t want to work at all…   _ Before he even had a chance to say anything, Levi scooped the boy up into his arms.

 

“This is easier. Plus, I can tell you’re lying. You’re relying on my support too much to be fine. Let me take care of you, Eren. Please?”

 

The boy nuzzled into Levi’s neck, sighing softly. “Okay, Levi… Thank you…”

 

Once they were back inside, Levi carefully placed Eren on the couch. He kissed him lightly, brushing his fingers through the boy’s soft hair. “I’ll be right back, I have to go grab your bag from the car.” Eren nodded and laid his head back against the couch, closing his eyes. A few minutes later he heard the door open again, then a weight settled on the couch beside him.  _ Hm. Levi smells really good today.  _ He inhaled deeply and let himself fall over, head landing in the man’s lap.

 

“You’re comfortable. Has anyone ever told you that?” Eren opened his eyes, glancing up at the soft face above him.

 

“No, I can’t say that anyone has, but I need to go through this stuff for you. Do you mind sitting back up? You can lean against me if you want though.” Eren sat up, curling his legs under him, and watched the man work. Levi carefully retrieved the camera from the bag and set it in Eren’s lap. “Here, I know this must be important to you. It looks like it was the first thing you put in the bag.”

 

Eren took the camera and held it to his chest.  _ This helped me get through a lot. Taking pictures was how I initially relieved stress. I’m so glad he got my bag for me.  _ “Thank you…C-could I maybe take pictures of you sometime? I thought maybe I could bring it with us to your parents’…?”

 

“You can bring whatever you want. And maybe… We’ll see. I’m not terribly fond of having my picture taken.” He started to sort through the clothes, separating what he felt was worth keeping from what he couldn’t care less about. Mostly, he just wanted to have a say in what Eren brought to his parents’.

 

The brunette glanced up from his camera, eyes falling to the shirt that Levi had just set aside.  _ Christ… Why is it here…  _ He tried to fight the rising stress, his body tensing as his breathing once again became ragged. Levi dropped what was in his hands, turning quickly to the boy.

 

“Hey, shh. You’re okay, Eren. Breathe, just breathe. What happened?” Levi pressed a hand to the boy’s cheek, trying to get him to meet his eyes.

 

“S-shirt.” He choked out the word in a near whisper. Levi turned back to the stack of clothes, grabbing the last shirt that he had dropped. He looked back to Eren for confirmation. The boy nodded, shutting his eyes tightly. The brunette focused on trying to keep his breathing calm as Levi rose from the couch.

 

The older man took the shirt and walked out the front door, taking it all the way to the garbage chute and tossing it. Running back to the apartment, he quickly returned to the boy’s side, pulling him into his arms. “It's gone now. I’m sorry, Eren. Just breathe for me, babe. You’re okay. I’m here.” Levi accentuated his breathing, trying to get Eren to mimic him.

 

The boy gripped tightly to Levi’s shirt, tears silently rolling down his cheeks as he forced himself to follow the breathing pattern the older man was setting. After a few minutes, his chest finally started to loosen, letting him breathe comfortably. Eren tried to pull away once he was breathing normally, but Levi wouldn’t let him go.

 

“No, just stay… Just let me hold you for a minute… This is all my fault, anyway. Just relax, and let me…”  _ I had hoped that it wouldn’t ever get this bad again… One day, kid. One day, these stupid attacks will be so rare, you won’t have to worry about them. They won’t even be a thought in your mind. _

 

After a while, Levi finally let the boy sit up. He looked pale and shaky. It concerned the older man to see him looking so weak again. He brushed his fingers along the boy’s cheek. “Are you hungry? I can get you some food.”

 

“Y-yeah… I’m hungry, but I really don’t think that I can eat anything yet… Maybe later though…” He shifted and curled up against Levi’s side. “What should I expect when we go see your family?”

 

_ I wish he would eat, but I understand why he can’t yet. I’ll just have to make something really good for dinner so we can make up for him not eating all day.  _ Levi put an arm around the boy, pulling him over so his head was in his lap. He ran his fingers through the boy’s hair with one hand and traced down his arm with the other. “Well, they live in a well-off neighborhood; don’t let that intimidate you, though. Papa and Maman are some of the nicest people you’ll ever meet, to be honest. Maman is really high energy, so try not to let her wear you out. I think you’ll get along well with her though. Papa is great. He’s a little stern at times, but he’s honestly just a puppy at heart. Think sheep in wolf’s clothing. I know that’s not the saying, but it really does describe him.” Levi trailed off when he noticed that Eren had fallen asleep in his lap.  _ Good, you need the rest after all that mess. _  He laid his head against the back of the couch and quickly dozed off as well.

 

After a few hours, Levi stirred, his neck sore from the awkward sleeping position.  _ Hm, I need to get up and make some food for him… _  He carefully slipped out from under the boy, placing a pillow under his head to make up for his absence. He threw together a simple meal: chicken, green beans, and mashed potatoes.  _ Eren should be able to eat this, and it will hopefully make up for how little he’s eaten the rest of the day.  _ Levi filled the plates and returned to the couch, setting them on the coffee table. He brushed the boy’s hair out of his face, kissing him on the forehead. “Hey, wake up, kiddo. You need to eat some dinner before you’re out for the count. I promise, you’ll thank me for this in the morning.”

 

Eren woke slowly, rubbing his eyes. “Do I have to? I’d rather just sleep….” He sat up as his stomach growled.  _ Well… Maybe I should eat… I know I’m hungry, and he already made me a plate… _

 

“Yes, if you can. I won’t force you, but it would really be a good idea to at least try to eat.” Levi handed him the plate, hoping he would eat it. He sighed in relief when the boy started to eat, even though the bites were ridiculously small. He was still eating, and that was good enough for Levi. After they had both finished, Levi made quick work of the dishes and ushered Eren off to the bedroom. He had him take a shower then put him to bed, following suit. The duo quickly faded to sleep after such a long day.

 

Most of Sunday was spent packing for their departure Monday morning. Levi helped Eren to be sure that nothing was forgotten. He also wanted to make sure that the boy didn’t stress himself out again after the previous day. “We’ll be leaving about nine tomorrow morning, so make sure you’re up by then. It’s about two and a half hours, so you may also want to bring something to do during the trip.” Eren nodded, packing a small book and his headphones. The remainder of the day was spent lounging around and letting the two relax after their weekend. They opted for an early dinner and then bed.  _ Just a quick flight and we’ll be in Southampton. I hope that he’ll be comfortable around Papa and Maman. _

 

_ Okay, just a car ride. It’ll probably be boring, but whatever. I really hope Levi’s parents like me… _  Eren curled up to Levi as he drifted to sleep, trying not to worry about the trip or the people he was about to meet.


	20. Meet the Ackermans - Part 1

The next morning, Levi packed their bags into the car before he woke Eren. He had opted to let the boy sleep as long as possible. After he was content that everything was ready to go, he went and woke up Eren, making sure the boy was well on his way to getting ready before going back into the kitchen to make breakfast. Eren emerged from the bedroom as Levi was setting the food on the table. “Oh, you’re ready? Good, come here and eat first. Then we can go.” 

 

“Yeah.. Sorry I slept so late… You should have woken me up…” The boy sat at the table and quickly started to eat, already feeling bad that Levi was waiting on him. 

 

“You’re fine, babe. It’s only 8:30. We’re still good on time. We’ll go as soon as you’re done eating.”  _ I can’t wait to show him the plane! I bet he’s never been on one like this before. It’s fairly simple, so the instruments are pretty easy to understand. _ Levi was excited to be flying in general. He had some flight hours under his belt and enjoyed being in the air. 

 

Once Eren had finished eating, he gathered up both of their dishes, washing them and putting them away. “Okay, I think I’m ready now.” 

 

Levi nodded, grabbing his satchel as the walked out the door.  _ I don’t expect to need it, but I’m bringing my gun with me for this one. Just in case anyone from the past decides to stir up trouble… Papa and Maman moved away from all that, but still… _ The two climbed in the Q7, and Levi took off toward the airport. 

 

Eren’s stomach dropped as Levi pulled up toward a field with several large buildings. A long stretch of pavement ran alongside them, a small plane waiting there.  _ Oh no… I thought we were driving…  _ “You didn’t tell me we were taking a plane…” He whispered, body tensing the closer they got as he tried to keep calm. He forced himself to keep his breathing even, but his hands were shaking. 

 

_ Oh, god… Please be okay. Please no panicking at 40,000 feet… I promise you’re safe… _ “I’m sorry, Eren. I assumed you would know… Have you ever been on a plane?” The boy shook his head, his breaths exaggerated as he tried to make sure he kept breathing.  _ Shit… It’ll be okay, we’re the only people on this flight besides an attendant and the pilots. It's Papa’s jet, so it won’t be bad… _ “Don’t worry. I promise, you’re safe with me. It’ll be okay.” Levi grabbed their bags, handing them off to the attendant before going to Eren’s side. He guided the boy to the plane, keeping an arm around him the whole time. They sat together in one of the two person seats so that Levi could stay close to the boy. He requested all the shades to be closed before they took off.  _ That should help. It will keep him from seeing how high up we are… Maybe one day, he’ll be able to enjoy this… _

 

As the plane started to move, Eren gasped, gripping onto Levi’s thigh with one hand. Levi tightened the arm he had around him, pressing the boy’s head against his chest. “Shh. You’re okay, babe.” He softly kissed the top of the boy’s head as he rubbed his hand along the brunette’s arm. “Just give it a minute, and we’ll level out.” After a few minutes, the plane leveled, and Eren’s grip on Levi loosened slightly. “Oh, here, this will help make it go by faster and distract you.” Levi pulled out his phone and headphones, carefully placing the earbuds in the boy’s ears. He turned on a playlist that he had been building for Eren.  _ I was putting this together to give him later. Most of this music should be good and calming. Either that, or it's got a message behind it. Heh.. I wonder if he’ll notice. _

 

Eren’s anxiety was still high, but the music helped to keep him grounded. He focused on the songs, the intricate notes, the lyrics of each piece. He felt Levi’s soft, comforting touches and feather light kisses as the older man tried to help keep the boy calm.  _ I’m so thankful for him… He really does know how to talk me down… _ The boy closed his eyes as he picked apart the current song. 

 

_ You and me _

_ Got ourselves a problem _

_ I can see this _

_ Better than I solve em _

 

_ I believed _

_ I found a way around it.  _

_ I will leave _

_ This better than I found it _

 

_ There’s too much smoke to see it _

_ There’s too much broke to feel this _

_ I love you, I love you _

_ And all of your pieces _

 

_ Oh… I wonder… This seems familiar… He’s said this to me before… That day when I just went to shit and we had that fight… _ The boy continued to listen to the song, feeling the weight of Levi’s touch on him as he slowly realized that this was in here on purpose. 

 

_ There’s too much smoke to see it _

_ There’s too much broke to feel this _

_ I love you, I love you _

_ And all of your pieces _

 

_ History’s a letter made of scarlet _

_ Victories look better when you’ve called it _

_ Misery’s the moment when I lost you _

_ It’s pleasure in a costume _

_ It’s more than what it cost you _

 

_ There’s too much smoke to see it _

_ There’s too much broke to feel this _

_ I love you, I love you _

_ And all of your pieces _

 

Silent tears started to fall from the boy’s eyes as his hand came up to his mouth in surprise.  _ I knew, but… still… Levi... _

 

_ There’s too much smoke to see it _

_ There’s too much broke to feel this _

_ I love you, I love you _

_ And all of your pieces _

 

As the song ended, Eren looked up at Levi, meeting his deep grey eyes. A moment of confusion crossed the man’s face before he glanced down at the phone screen. His eyes came back to meet Eren’s teary green ones, his own now full of understanding. “I mean that, you know.” He pressed a hand to the boy’s cheek, brushing away the tears with his thumb and kissing the boy’s lips softly. He quietly sang the last part of the chorus to the boy, holding him close. “I love you, and all of your pieces.” 

 

Eren opened his mouth to respond as the plane shifted to adjust course, whimpering and burying his face in Levi’s chest. The older man held him close the remainder of the flight, talking about random topics to ease the boy’s mind. When he felt the plane start to descend, Levi started to explain everything to Eren so there would be no surprises. He walked him through how long the descent would be and what it would feel like when the landing gear came down and how bumpy it would be when they touched down. He assured him that it was absolutely safe. Levi kept his voice even as he whispered in Eren’s ear each thing that was happening, trying to keep him distracted as the plane touched down. Once the plane stopped moving, Eren finally relaxed, going limp in Levi’s arms. 

 

“Okay, babe, I need you to help me a little bit. It's hard for me to walk right next to you in this aisle.” Levi helped Eren to his feet, supporting him from behind until they were out on the tarmac. Just as he went to put an arm around the boy’s waist, Eren’s legs gave out beneath him. “Oh! Careful there. You don’t want to fall here, trust me. It’s hot, and it would hurt.” 

 

Eren blushed and held onto Levi. “S-sorry... “ 

 

“You don’t have to apologize, Eren.” He helped the boy over to a waiting black sedan.

 

A clean cut man in a dark suit emerged from driver’s seat, walking around to open the back door for the two. “Good morning, Sir. How was your flight?” 

 

Levi nodded to the man as he helped Eren into the back seat. “Mostly uneventful, thank you, Ames. Have you gotten the bags yet, or should I get them?” Levi turned to head back toward the plane but was stopped by a hand on his wrist. He glanced back to find Eren holding him back with a slightly panicked look. Ames glanced between the two and headed back toward the plane. 

 

“No sir, stay here. I’ll get the bags. You have to let me be useful occasionally.” Levi chuckled softly and slid into the back seat beside the brunette. 

 

“He seems nice…” Eren curled into Levi, exhaustion washing over him after the flight. 

 

“He is. I grew up with him. It always frustrated him that I wanted to do things on my own. It kind of became a thing between us, who could get things done first. I usually beat him.” Levi smiled softly at the memory. 

 

“You look like you really enjoyed your childhood…” Eren sighed, a sad look filling his eyes. “I’m glad…”

  
Levi glanced out the window as Ames walked back to the car with their bags. “Well… I don’t know about that… Oh! Here.” Levi reached into his satchel and pulled out Eren’s camera, handing it to him. “I didn’t know if you might like to take pictures on the drive, so I brought it along for you.” 

 

Eren took the camera, glancing up at the man. “T-thank you…” He set the camera in his lap and watched out the window as the car slowly pulled away from the airfield. His eyes were heavy as they drove. After a few minutes, he slumped against Levi, snoring softly. 

 

Levi wrapped an arm around him, guiding the boy’s head to his lap.  _ Well, at least he can get a little rest before we get there. Maman will probably wear him out… It’s not too much further. Maybe ten minutes.  _

 

Levi gently woke the boy as they pulled onto the estate. “Babe, wake up. We’re here.” Eren sat up, gasping as he caught sight of the house. 

 

His eyes shot back to the the man beside him in disbelief. “That’s your house?! It’s fucking huge!”

 

Levi couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him. “It’s not that big. To be honest, it's one of the smaller houses in the area.” Levi opened the door as soon as Ames put the car in park, reaching back in to help Eren out of the car. The boy stood shakily, bracing himself with a hand on the car. Levi moved to help him, but the boy held out his hand. 

 

“No… I’ve got it… let me stand on my own. I don’t want to look so weak in front of your parents… Please?”  

 

Levi took a small step back, letting Eren support himself. “Okay, but if I think you need help, I won’t hesitate. No matter what it might make you look like. I’m not going to let you fall.” The boy nodded and motioned for Levi to lead the way. He followed closely beside him. Regardless of what he wanted, Eren knew he had to stay close to Levi just in case his body betrayed him. As if sensing the boy’s unease, Levi reached out and grasped his hand, squeezing it reassuringly.  “I promise, you’ll be okay.”

 

Ames strode ahead of them, opening the door. “After you, sirs. I’ll have your bags up in your room shortly.” Levi nodded in thanks as the two walked through the door. He smiled softly as he caught sight of his parents in the foyer. 

 

“Maman, Papa, it’s good to see you.” Levi gave each parent a single armed hug, not wanting to release his grip on Eren. 

 

The small raven haired woman smiled brilliantly at the boys. “Levi! Dear! It’s so good to finally see you. You never come visit anymore.” She feigned a pout and glanced over at Eren. “And who might this handsome young man be?” 

 

Levi took a step back, snaking an arm around the boy’s waist. “Maman, Papa, this is my boyfriend, Eren Jaeger. Eren, my parents, Cecile and Armand.” 

 

_ Oh… Boyfriend… He’s never called me that before… I kinda like it… _ “I-it’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Ackerman. Thank you for letting me visit with Levi.” 

 

Cecile threw her arms around the brunette, hugging him tightly and placing a soft kiss on his cheek. “Maman, please! Mrs. Ackerman is my mother in law.” She laughed softly, a happy, airy sound.  _ Mom… Her laugh sounds like Mom’s.  _

 

A sad smile crossed Eren’s lips as he hugged the small woman back. “M-Maman then…” Levi took note of Eren’s reaction, making a note to ask him about it once they were alone. 

 

Once Cecile let go of the boy, a taller brunette man stepped forward and extended a hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Eren. You can call me whatever you like, I prefer Papa or Armand however. Mr. Ackerman just makes me sound old.” He winked at the boy, laughter in his eyes. 

 

Eren hesitated, his hand trembling as he reached out to meet the man. “Armand… A pleasure to meet you…” Levi tightened his arm around Eren’s waist, trying to calm him.

 

_ You’re okay, babe. Papa is safe. You’ll learn that eventually. I really need to get you to bed though. You look dead on your feet…  _  “Well, if you both don’t mind, I’m going to show Eren to my room. He’s pretty worn out from the trip. This was his first time flying.” 

 

Cecile gasped, looking back at Eren. “Was it really? How did you like it? Aren’t planes simply amazing?” 

 

“It um… It was definitely something else…”Eren responded nervously. 

 

Armand wrapped an arm around his wife, pulling her back. “Well, Dear. I think we should let the boys be. Levi can show Eren around. Let’s go make sure that lunch is started. I’m sure they’re hungry.” Levi shot his father a grateful look as he guided Eren toward the large staircase to their right. 

 

“I’ll come find you in a bit, Maman.” Levi spoke over his shoulder as the couple headed up the stairs. No sooner had his parents disappeared into the hallway then Eren stumbled and started to fall. Levi quickly caught him, supporting the boy. “Now, now, didn’t I say I wouldn’t let you fall? Don’t look quite so scared.” 

 

Eren blushed, leaning against the older man for support. “S-sorry… there’s just a lot of stairs…” 

 

“We’re almost there. You can sleep for a bit if you’d like.” Levi guided the brunette into a large bedroom. It had a king size four poster bed off to the side. Across the room was a large bay window overlooking a garden. 

 

“Oh wow… This room is beautiful..” Eren stumbled toward the bed, falling face first into the soft comforter. 

 

“It’s not bad. It’s not the prettiest room in the house, but it’s mine, so it’s good. Do you want to take a nap or anything or just go back downstairs?” Levi turned for Eren’s response but realized he wouldn’t get one. The boy was out cold already; he was bent over the side of the bed, feet dangling just above the floor. Levi shook his head and walked over, carefully picking the boy up and laying him on his back, head on the pillow. He kissed him softly then headed out of the room to go catch up with his parents. 

 

After taking care of Eren, Levi found his parents on the back patio. “Maman, Papa. How have you been? I’m sorry I haven’t come to visit in a while.”

 

Cecile stood, moving to Levi and wrapping him in a hug. “Oh, dear, you’re fine. We’re happy whenever you visit regardless of the time between visits. How is Eren? He looked as if he was about to faint.” She pulled back, her concerned eyes meeting his own. 

 

“He’ll be okay. He’s just exhausted from the flight.” Levi smiled softly, trying to reassure her. 

 

Armand spoke up. “What was so tiring? Was there turbulence or something? That’s usually a relaxing flight.” 

 

“No, thank god….” Levi cringed at the thought.  _ That would have been fun… There would have been no getting out of an attack at that point. We barely got here without an attack as it was.  _ “Eren has trouble with anxiety. Sometimes it just gets the better of him. He had never been on a plane before, so this was a little rough for him.”

 

“That’s so sad…” Cecile whispered, looking at the ground. 

 

Levi shook his head. “He’s come a long way from when I first met him.”  _ I suppose they deserve some sort of explanation since he is in their house.  _ “Just don’t be surprised if it takes him a little while to warm up to you…” Levi glanced over toward his father. “I can’t tell you everything. It took him a long time to even open up to me. But he had a really rough time growing up. He doesn’t trust people easily.” 

 

“Oh?” Armand raised an inquisitive eyebrow. “What about his parents?”

 

Levi waved his hand nonchalantly. “His father was an abusive shithead --” 

 

“Levi!” Cecile gasped. “Watch your mouth!”

 

“Sorry, Maman, but it’s true; we’ve met… His mother, well… She died when he was 14.”

 

“In that case, I’ll just have to be a stand in for her since she’s gone. The boy needs a maternal figure, and he’s adorable. And he makes you happy. So I’ll do what I can to help him.” Cecile glanced up toward Levi’s bedroom window. 

 

_ I’m so thankful for her… I know that she’ll help me keep an eye on him. At least she has good taste as well; he is adorable.  _ The three talked a while longer about how grad school had been going and life in general. After a few hours, Levi excused himself and went to the kitchen. He searched for something to bring to his sleeping beauty.  Settling on a grilled cheese, he brought the sandwich back to his room. Eren had rolled over onto his stomach. Levi sighed as he looked over the boy.  _ Damn, I love his ass… but now is not the time. Gotta take care of him, not fuck him.  _ He sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed the boy’s back, smiling as the brunette stirred. 

 

“Hm? How long did I sleep?” Eren turned over, sitting up as he rubbed his eyes. Levi brushed away the hair that had fallen in the boy’s face. 

 

“Just a few hours, you’re fine. I brought you a sandwich. I thought you might be hungry.” Eren smiled sleepily, taking the plate and the hint. As the boy nibbled at the sandwich, Levi decided to see what Eren had thought about the hug from Maman. “So… You didn’t seem to mind Maman hugging you.” Eren stopped eating, setting the plate in his lap.  _ Oh no you don’t, kid. Keep eating. You need it…. _

 

“Well… I didn’t mind it… Her laugh though… She sounds just like mom… I had almost forgotten how much I missed her until I heard that…” The boy glanced out the window, eyes misty. 

 

Levi’s heart ached for his boy.  _ I never want him to be sad… He deserves so much more than this… I want to give him that.  _ Eren took a deep breath, rubbing his eyes again. After a few moments, he picked his plate back up and finished his sandwich.  _ Thank god. _  After Eren finished eating, Levi curled around him protectively, the two of them falling asleep after their day of traveling. 

 

When Levi woke, he found Eren absent from the bed. He looked around anxiously, sighing with relief when he found the boy sitting on the window seat. Eren stared out the window, not even shifting his gaze when Levi came and sat beside him. “See something you like?”

 

Eren gave a tiny nod. “I guess you could say that.” He pressed his fingers against the window, a small smile crossing his lips. “It’s so beautiful and vast… I’ve never seen the ocean before… Is this the view you grew up with, Levi?” 

 

Levi’s mouth gaped, staring at the boy in amazement. “Really? Never? Not once?”  _ You’ve got to be joking… Well. I’ll have to fix that.  _

 

Eren shook his head, finally turning to meet Levi’s gaze. “Dad was always busy with work, so we never took any trips… And when things got… rough… Well, we stopped doing anything as a family period…” He closed his eyes, focusing on Levi’s touch as the man brushed his fingers along the boy’s cheek. 

 

“I’ll take you. There’s so much I can show you. I can think of several places around here that you would love. Let’s go sightseeing today. How does that sound?” 

 

Eren nodded excitedly. “Can we really?”

 

Levi leaned forward and kissed the boy softly on the lips, whispering as he pulled away. “Anything for you, Eren.” He smiled at the boy’s embarrassed blush. The two boys got dressed and went downstairs to eat breakfast with Maman and Papa. 

 

After getting permission to borrow a car for their daytrip, the pair headed out. Levi drove to one of his favorite beach spots and parked. “Come on, you’ll like this.” Levi held out his hand, walking toward the small lookout point. Eren stared in amazement at the waves as he scanned the beach, Levi watching him in silent wonder.  _ He’s so beautiful. I can’t believe he’s here, and he’s mine. I love him so much. He was such a mess when I first met him...  _ He had a sudden flash of panic as he remembered just how much of a mess the boy had been.  _ What if I hadn’t turned around that day? What if I had just kept walking? Would this beautiful, green eyed boy even be standing here right now? No one would ever get to see those beautiful eyes ever again… _ A lump formed in his throat as his emotions started to get the better of him. Levi wrapped his arms around the boy’s waist, burying his face in Eren’s back. 

 

_ Hm? Levi..? What’s wrong?  _ Eren turned in the man’s arms, taking his chin in hand, trying to gauge what was going through Levi’s head as their eyes met. “What are you thinking about so hard?” He questioned as he kissed the man softly. 

 

“You. About when I first met you. About what might have happened if I hadn’t stopped when you tried to talk to me… What if I had ignored you like every other fucker on that campus?” A single tear rolled down his ivory skin. He pressed the back of his hand to his mouth, trying to keep his composure. 

 

Eren wrapped his arms firmly around the smaller man, kissing the top of his head. “But you did. And I firmly believe that I’m still standing here because of you. So don’t think about what might have happened, because it didn’t. I’m here in front of you. Hell, I don’t even know why you love me so much that you’d get so choked up about this, but I’m damn lucky to have you…” 

 

Levi tightened his arms around the boy’s waist. “Stupid brat… One day I’ll make you understand just how much I love you, and you won’t question me. You deserve all the love you can get.” He rolled up onto the balls of his feet, pressing a lingering kiss to the boy’s lips. “Je t'aime…”

 

Eren smiled into the kiss. “I love you too, Levi.” After a while, they finally released their hold on each other, returning to the car. Levi showed him a few other places before they headed back home for dinner. 

 

Back at the house, the boys found Maman in the kitchen pulling out ingredients from the fridge. She had laid out a chicken, fresh rosemary, butter, potatoes, and carrots. “Oh Maman, poulet rôti?” 

 

She turned, a brilliant smile on her face. “Oui! I thought that Eren might like it.” 

 

Levi smiled, kissing her cheek. “I’m sure he will. I’ll help you.” He grabbed drinks for both of them, handing Eren his before starting to cut up the vegetables.

 

Eren sipped his drink as he watched the two work.  _ They’re so in sync, you can tell they’ve done this hundreds of times together. He’s so lucky to still have her… _

 

Maman glanced at Eren, smiling when she noticed that he was watching Levi. He looked lost without something to do. She walked over to him and grabbed his hand, pulling him toward the island. She placed the bunch of rosemary in his hand. “Here, can you break this up into smaller sprigs like this?” She demonstrated quickly before letting him do it on his own, rubbing his back gently before going back to her own task. 

 

The brunette watched Levi as he danced around the kitchen prepping vegetables, retrieving pans, and setting the oven. Maman smiled,tracking Eren’s gaze. “Levi’s always been good with preparation. He’s very thorough.” Eren choked on the drink he had been sipping at her comment. 

 

Levi glanced up at the sound, trying not to laugh when he realized what had happened. He brushed past Eren as he moved through the kitchen. Leaning in, he whispered quietly, “You’re blushing.” Eren squirmed, trying hard to focus on the task at hand, ignoring Levi’s soft chuckle as he leaned back into him. “You’re blushing harder.” 

 

“Shut up…” Eren mumbled, fingers struggling to finish their task. Levi couldn’t help but laugh softly at the boy’s discomfort but continued with his own tasks.

 

Maman had watched the whole exchange, excited to see the two so happy with each other. She couldn’t remember ever seeing Levi this content. She and Papa had already decided that the boys’ relationship had their blessing. They already loved Eren to pieces, and anything that made Levi happy was just fine in their eyes. Maman was determined to give the couple any nudging that was required at this point. 

 

Dinner passed without incident. Eren was still somewhat uncomfortable around Papa, but he thoroughly enjoyed Maman.  _ She’s so nice, and everything about her is warm. It’s like Mom before Dad got bad… She’s always so happy and affectionate…  _ The two said their goodnights and took off for Levi’s room. 

 

Levi stood facing the bed as he pulled his shirt off. Suddenly, there were warm arms wrapped around his bare chest, fingers splaying out across his toned stomach. Soft lips pressed against the back of his neck as Eren held him close.  _ Oh, thank god… I was about to jump him when he got so flustered earlier… This needs to go slowly though. It’s been a while, and I don’t want to do anything to scare him… _ Levi reached up, wrapping an arm around Eren’s neck, leaning his head back to meet the boy’s lips with his own. Eren loosened his arms as Levi turned to face him, adjusting so his arms were up around the boy’s neck. He laced his fingers in the boy’s hair, the kiss between them growing heated. Eren stepped forward, pushing Levi back onto the bed. The smaller man’s eyes widened as Eren crawled on the bed, straddling him. Levi rested his hands on the boy’s hips, eyes cautious as he met Eren’s lusty gaze. “Are you sure…?” 

 

Eren smirked as he leaned down and captured Levi’s now swollen lips with his own. “Of course I’m sure. I want you, Levi… Let me have you.” He kissed down Levi’s neck as the man swallowed, Eren’s words going straight between his legs. 

 

Levi ground his hips against the brunette’s, grinning as Eren’s head dropped to his shoulder, groaning at the contact. Levi took the opportunity and pulled the boy’s shirt up over his head, tossing it across the room. His hands were immediately back on the boy’s chest, fingers tracing the scars, then rolling the boy’s nipples between his fingers. Eren mewled in pleasure, nipples hardening beneath Levi’s expert touch. 

 

The brunette slid back, standing at the edge of the bed. He made quick work of Levi’s pants, pulling everything away and dropping it to the floor. His eyes scanned the toned body lying on the bed in front of him, his own member growing even harder as he watched Levi’s twitch in anticipation. He quickly removed his own pants before going back to Levi. He ran his hands up the man’s thighs, bending down and kissing along the inside of his right thigh. He ran his tongue along Levi’s length, swirling it over his dripping head. Levi hissed at the contact, head falling back against the bed. Eren slid his hands under the man’s thighs and pushed them up, pushing Levi back farther onto the bed. He kneeled on the edge of the bed in the space that he had made. Letting go of the man’s legs, he took hold of Levi’s length with one hand and bent over, taking him into his mouth. 

 

Levi groaned, bucking his hips to push himself deeper into Eren’s hot, wet mouth. The boy swallowed around his cock, tightening around him. Levi tangled his fingers in the soft brown hair, guiding his head as he moved. He growled in frustration when Eren pulled away. Lifting his head, he found the boy sucking on his fingers, eyes dark with hunger. Eren quickly went back to licking and sucking the older man’s throbbing member. Levi gasped as a finger was pushed into him. “E-Eren, w-wait…” 

 

Eren growled as he took in the man’s whole length, pressing his nose against Levi’s hard abdomen. When he came up for air, he met the man’s eyes. “No. Let me have you, Levi. It’s my turn. I’ll make you feel so good, you won’t even be able to think straight.” He chuckled when he felt the man tighten as he added another finger. Levi moaned and writhed beneath him as Eren hit the bundle of nerves he was looking for. He added a third finger, stretching him. Levi mewled in displeasure when Eren withdrew his fingers. The boy grinned and flipped him over, pulling Levi’s hips up to meet his own. He pressed himself to Levi’s entrance, slowly filling him with his length.  

 

Levi whimpered as he was filled with Eren’s hard length. He was thankful that the boy waited for him to adjust. Eren wrapped his arms around his chest, pulling Levi up to him. He shivered as Eren pressed kisses down his neck and across his shoulders, then along the top of his spine. “Eren… Please…” The brunette bit down playfully at the base of Levi’s neck as he slowly started to move. The man gasped at the sudden pain, but it was quickly overridden by a moan as pleasure washed over him.  _ Oh my god… This angle is amazing…  _  Levi reached back, wrapping an arm around Eren’s neck as he let his head fall back against the boy’s shoulder. He shuddered as the boy thrust into his spot. “Oh, fuck… Eren… Right there.”

 

Eren picked up his pace, reaching around and grasping the man’s length, stroking as he thrust into him. “God, Levi, you’re so tight around my cock… You feel so amazing…” He moaned as Levi pulsed around his length. “Fuck… Come for me, Levi… I want you falling to pieces at my touch…” 

 

Levi trembled as he felt the knot in his gut tightening. “E-Eren… I’m not g-going to last…” He cried out as Eren bit at his ear. 

 

“Then don’t. Come for me…” He growled with Levi’s ear between his teeth. “You’re so sexy, Levi. I love you…” Eren cried out as Levi tightened around him, the man in his arms shaking as he cried out the boy’s name through his release, spilling his white hot seed into Eren’s hand. Eren pounded into him, riding out his own orgasm, moaning out Levi’s name. The two collapsed onto the bed, trembling in the aftershocks of their lovemaking, Eren’s arms still around the smaller man. He pressed light kisses into Levi’s shoulder, whispering between each contact. “I love you so much, Levi… You’re so beautiful and amazing. You’re my savior… I love you…”

 

_ Savior? Me?  _ Levi contemplated the boy’s words as he lay wrapped in Eren’s warm embrace. He laced his fingers with the the boy’s, pulling them to his lips and kissing them softly. He rolled over and pressed feather light kisses along the boy’s chest, kissing his scars as he moved down, licking and sucking at each of his nipples. He shifted, reaching down and stroking Eren’s still half hard member as he lifted his head, whispering in Eren’s ear.  “My turn. Let me show you exactly how I feel about you, Eren.” The boy shivered at the contact and Levi’s hot breath against his neck. Levi rolled over on top of the boy, finding his wrists as he kissed along his neck and shoulder. In a smooth movement, he pinned the boy’s hands above his head. 

 

Eren froze, eyes widening. “Levi… I don’t know if I’m okay with this… It's making me nervous…” Levi pulled back, trying to gauge the boy’s reaction from his eyes. 

 

“Eren, trust me. If it ends up being too much, then I’ll stop. I won’t do anything that will hurt you.” Eren nodded, giving Levi the okay to continue. “Okay, stay here, just like that.” Levi got up quickly and dug around in his nightstand. He returned with two strips of fabric and a small tube. He tied one strip loosely around Eren’s wrists, making a point to show the boy that he could get out of it if need be. The other he wrapped around the boy’s eyes. He kissed the fabric over each eye, then pressed a lingering kiss to the boy’s soft lips. “I promise… You’ll love this, babe.” 

 

Eren fought against the anxiety rising in his chest, forcing himself to breathe steadily. He gasped as Levi kissed down his chest, his hand slowly stroking the boy’s hardened length. He panted softly under the man’s touch.  _ Every touch is so much more intense than before…  _ He hissed when he felt Levi’s mouth slide down on his member. “A-ah… L-Levi…” He squirmed beneath the man’s onslaught, moaning softly as Levi’s tongue swirled around the tip of his dripping member. He heard Levi opening the tube with a quiet click, his entrance already twitching in anticipation. 

 

The boy mewled in pleasure as Levi pressed a finger into him, adding a second shortly after. Levi bobbed his head as he took in Eren’s full length while stretching him, searching for the spot that would make the boy fall apart under him. “Eren, you sound so sexy right now, moaning and crying out while I suck your hard cock…” The boy moaned again as Levi added a third finger. Curling them, he finally found the place he was looking for.

 

Eren shuddered, crying out. “F-fuck! Levi, right there, d-do that again… Please..” he whimpered as Levi’s fingers vanished, but they were quickly replaced with his length. He pressed his hips forward, burying himself in the boy. A strangled cry escaped Eren’s lips in surprise and ecstasy.  _ How does this feel so amazing? Fucking hell… _ Levi thrust into him, the boy moaning beneath him. “L-Levi… I’m going to..”

 

Levi pulled out quickly, wrapping his hand around the boy’s twitching cock. “Ah, ah, ah… not yet, babe. I’m not done yet.” Levi chuckled as Eren whimpered, pressing his length against levi’s hand, trying to find his release. Levi rolled the boy over, untying one wrist and pulling his arms behind his back. He fixed the ties, once again showing Eren just how easily he could get out of them if he wanted. He lifted the boy’s hips, pulling him to his knees. Levi thrust into him again, this time harder. Gripping the boy’s arms, he pulled him up, arching his back. 

 

Eren cried in pleasure as the man thrust into him mercilessly, his whole body shaking as Levi thrust into the spot that caused him to fall apart over and over again. “L-Levi, fuck… Please, let me come… Come with me… I can’t…”

 

“Do it, Eren. Come for me, babe.” The boy screamed out as he found his release, Levi crying out as he followed quickly after. The two collapsed into the bed once again, too worn out to move, trembling as they came down from their high. 

 

_ Fuck… I’m going to be hurting tomorrow…  _ Eren started to doze off but was interrupted by Levi lifting him from the bed. “Huh…? Where are we going?” The confused boy wrapped his arms around the older man’s neck. 

 

“We're going to clean up. I can't let you sleep like this. You're fine, I'll take care of it.” Levi set him down on the counter in the bathroom, making sure he was steady before turning his attention to getting the shower ready. Once he was happy with the temperature, he turned back to the boy, helping him stand and getting them both in the shower. Eren kept his arms around Levi's neck, his head resting on the man’s shoulder as Levi washed them both off. He kissed the boy's neck softly as he worked. Once he was convinced that they were both clean, he shut off the water and grabbed a towel, wrapping Eren up and setting him back on the counter. He then dried himself off and threw on some pajama pants he already had in the bathroom. Picking Eren back up, he carried his little burrito back to bed, then went to go find him something to wear. By the time he came back, Eren was already out cold. Levi struggled with his pants, but finally got him clothed. Yawning, he slipped into bed next to the boy and pulled the covers over both of them, drifting into a much needed sleep. 


	21. Meet the Ackermans - Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG. We're so sorry this is two days late >_< life got away from us this week. 
> 
> Anyway! Enjoy the chapter and make sure to let us know what you think!

Eren woke Wednesday morning feeling groggy, Levi still sleeping beside him. He sat up and tried to slip out of bed without waking him. Getting on his knees to crawl across the bed, he gasped as pain shot through his back, falling forward and catching himself with his hands.  _ I should have know that I’d be sore after that… Oh well… I know how to deal with it after all that time with Dad… _

 

Levi felt Eren shifting next to him, his eyes flying open when he heard Eren gasp and fall beside him. He turned as he sat up, trying to determine what was causing the boy’s distress.  _ Oh… I was really rough last night… He must be fucking sore… Shit… I should have been more careful.  _ He found Eren sitting back on his knees, hands supporting him from falling on his face. His head was down with his shaggy hair falling in his face.  _ I wonder if I should make him go get a haircut sometime… It’s getting long… Shit, later Levi, not right now. Christ, focus, man.  _ He scooted closer to the boy, rubbing his back gently and brushing the soft brown hair out of his face, trying to gauge his pain level. “I’m sorry, babe… How are you feeling? Can I help?” He was surprised by how calm the boy was, breathing deeply through the pain. 

 

Eren’s green eyes gazed up to meet Levi’s grey ones. “I’m okay, Levi… Just give me a minute… It’ll stop, it always does…” The man’s gentle touch on his back helped to calm him as he tried to let his muscles relax so he could move again. 

 

_ It always does? What? Oh… That dick wad… How dare he…  _ Levi couldn’t help the anger that still boiled in him whenever he was reminded of the horrific acts Eren’s so called father had done. His chest ached for the boy in front of him. Even though he knew that Eren had enjoyed last night, he still hated that he had caused the boy he loved any kind of pain. When Eren finally made a move to get up, Levi scooted off the bed and helped him to his feet. Once he was steady, he helped the boy to the bathroom, letting him handle himself once they got to the door. While Eren was in the bathroom, Levi gathered a change of clothes for him. When he emerged, the man helped him change, still not convinced that the boy was as okay as he was acting. 

 

After carefully making their way downstairs, the two quickly ate breakfast. “So, I was thinking,” Levi began, “I know something that we can do today, and you won’t even have to move for it if you don’t want to.” 

 

Eren glanced up from his plate, curiosity in his eyes. “Oh? What on earth could that be?”

 

“Well…” Levi glanced out the window toward the coast. “Maman and Papa have a sailboat, and I happen to know how to sail. It would give you an up close and personal ocean experience, and you’d only have to move to get on the boat. What do you think?”  

 

Eren sat straight up, eyes alight with excitement. “Oh, my god! Are you serious? That would be so cool! When can we leave? I’m done eating, can we go now?” Levi laughed, thankful that Eren was so energetic. When he thought about it, this is the first time he had seen the boy so excited since the day they had met. Once again, he reminded him of an overly excitable dog. Just as soon as the boy sat up however, he curled back in on himself, wincing. 

 

“Okay now, calm down before you hurt yourself, kid. Today is about you not moving. Not you excessively moving from excitement.” Levi rolled his eyes, a smile still evident on his lips. “If you’re ready to go, then so am I. We just have to drive a few miles down to the marina. Maman and Papa don’t have their own private dock, so we keep it there. It’s easier that way anyway.” 

 

Eren stood, carefully this time. “Yes, I’m totally ready! Are we taking the same car we took yesterday? I can go wait in the car if you want.” Levi ruffled the boy’s hair before taking his hand. 

 

“Silly boy. I’m coming with you now. I’ve already got what I need, and the keys are by the door. Just let me know if you need any help walking.” 

 

Eren rolled his eyes, huffing in embarrassment and mumbling under his breath. “You did it, fucker… Why would I want help… I can walk by myself…” 

 

Levi wrapped an arm around the boy’s waist, leaning close to his ear and whispering. “And I would gladly do it again to hear the sounds you made last night.” He chuckled softly and continued toward the garage, leaving Eren following behind, three shades redder than he already was. 

 

Once they arrived at the marina, Levi took the boy’s hand, carefully weaving him along the docks. He couldn’t help but stare as Eren looked around in wonder at the many sails surrounding them.  _ He really has no idea how amazing he is. It’s so cute how he gets so awestruck at some of the smallest things, like an aquarium, or the ocean, or sailboats. These are so simple to me, but it's like a whole new world for him. God, I love this kid… _

 

Eren brought his attention back to Levi when he realized that they had stopped. He followed Levi’s gesture and caught site of a smaller sailboat. It had a dark green hull with blue trim and white lettering. The name printed on the side was  _ Surveyor _ . “Wow… Is this it? It’s so beautiful…”

 

“Mhm, this is her. She’s so easy to sail, too. Papa taught me when we first moved here. I can show you if you want while we’re out there.” Eren nodded, still in wonder, trailing his fingers along the smooth sides of the hull, tracing the lettering of the name. 

 

“That would be amazing… Can we go now?” Levi nodded and helped him into the boat. Eren stared in awe as he took in every detail of the small boat. The inside was a dark cherry color, and the deck was well cared for; there wasn’t a single speck of dirt on it.  _ Hmm... I wonder if he got his odd cleaning habit from his Papa… _

 

“You can sit or stand, whichever you prefer.” Levi took a seat at the rudder and started the small motor at the back of the boat. “So, if you care to know. This is the stern.” He pointed to the back side of the boat. “Up there is the bow, the right side is starboard, left is port.” Eren nodded, making mental notes of each word and their location. “You use this little motor to get away from the dock and out into the main part of the water.” Levi deftly maneuvered the boat out past the other larger sailboats and into open water. “Now, you use the rudder to make sure that the bow is facing into the wind, then you lock your rudder in place. Now you can raise the sail. Do you want to help?” 

 

Eren nodded excitedly and quickly made his way after Levi, slipping on the deck. Levi caught him by the waist as he started falling toward the water. “Please don’t fall… I don’t feel like swimming today, babe.” Levi smiled playfully and helped Eren the rest of the way. He untied the rope securing the mainsail and guided the boy’s hands, showing him how to pull it to hoist the sail. Once they got it up and Levi re-secured the knot, he went back to his seat in the stern of the boat. “Now, we just use the motor to turn the boat  _ just _ enough that the wind will catch the sail.” The fabric went taut as wind filled the sail. 

 

Levi watched the boy as a dazzling smile lit up his face as the wind caught the sail.  _ Shit… He’s beautiful. Odd descriptor for a guy, but that’s all I come up with to describe him sometimes.  _ Levi cut the motor and let the wind do its job. He guided the boat as the sail tilted to keep with the wind, taking them farther out. 

 

Once Eren had gotten over the initial awe and wonder of the boat and the open water, he turned his attention back to Levi. He was sitting, relaxed against the edge of the stern, one arm draped over the edge of the boat, the other on the rudder. His raven hair was blowing softly in the wind.  _ Wow… How did I get so lucky as to meet this man… Normally someone like me would stand no chance with someone like him… He’s in a whole other league. What on earth does he see in me?  _ Eren wandered over and sat next to the man, watching his actions. Levi shared a few more parts of the boat, pointing out the entrance to get below deck and other small details. Eren had stopped listening though. _ He is so fucking sexy right now… I just want him…  _ The boy had started to kiss him softly along his shoulder, nibbling gently at the older man’s neck. 

 

“Eren… We can’t do anything out here… I have to make sure we don’t go too far out... “ Levi was struggling. It was hard to resist the boy, and he’d never had to before. 

 

“Who says you have to do anything? You can just focus on the boat… And I can focus on you.” Eren carefully straddled Levi, making sure not to sit in a way that would put strain on his already stiff muscles. Levi started to protest, but Eren quickly silenced him with his lips. He laced his fingers in the man’s hair, pulling hard to bring his head back, giving himself easier access. Levi hissed into the kiss as Eren ground his hips against Levi’s. Eren hesitated for a moment as he felt a pang from his stomach. Attributing it to sore muscles, he ignored it. He tried to continue, letting his hands wander down to Levi’s chest, fingers tracing his beautifully toned body. He kissed down the man’s neck as he slid off his lap, onto his knees. His fingers skillfully undid Levi’s pants as the man attempted to protest, head jerking in every direction to make sure no one was around to see the show. The unease in Eren’s stomach was growing, but he chose to ignore it, hoping it would go away on it's own. He took Levi’s hardened member in hand, closing his mouth over it. 

 

“A-ah! E-Eren wait… N-not here…” Levi squeezed his eyes shut, his nerves on high alert. Doing something like this out in the open was completely different than what they did behind closed doors. He almost felt guilty for how good it felt; someone could come across them at any time, but he didn’t care anymore.  _ Fuck them, if they want a show, they can have it. His mouth feels so good… I can figure something out with the boat, but I want him.. Now.  _

 

_ Oh no… This isn’t good…  _ Eren groaned in discomfort, releasing Levi and resting his head on the man’s knee. He focused on taking deep breaths and willing his stomach to calm. 

 

Levi, now painfully hard and thoroughly confused, looked down at the boy. He lifted his chin, concern flowing through him when he noticed that Eren was breathing oddly. Worry immediately overtook him when he saw how pale the boy’s face was. “Eren, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”

 

The boy shook his head, too scared to open his mouth.  _ I can’t throw up on him again… it was embarrassing enough the first time…  _ The boat lurched as a particularly large swell passed, and Eren knew it was all over. His eyes widened as he struggled to get to his feet. Levi quickly made himself modest and went to help the boy, putting an arm around his waist and trying to figure out what was wrong. “Levi… Let go… I think I’m gonna…” He broke away from Levi just as he reached the side of the boat and retched his breakfast into the ocean. Levi rubbed his back gently, making sure to keep an eye on their surroundings. Sick Eren was one thing, sick Eren way too far out to sea was another. Once he was done heaving, the boy sunk down against the side of the boat, resting his head on his knees. “That was at least a five second warning…” He said quietly, a trace of amusement in his tired voice. 

 

Levi raised an eyebrow in confusion before he connected the dots. He felt bad, but couldn't help but laugh as he remembered when Eren had thrown up on him and he had angrily told him to give him more than a two second notice. “Yeah, yeah it was. Good job, babe. Notice appreciated.”  _ Of fucking course the kid gets seasick.  _ He sighed internally, frustrated for Eren at how much his body seemed to hate him. Levi disappeared below deck and came back with a bottle of water, opening it and handing it to the boy. “I know it doesn’t sound very appealing to eat or drink anything after throwing up, but drink this. You need to stay hydrated. I’ll bring us back to the docks.” He kissed him softly on the forehead and went back to the stern, directing them back toward shore. 

 

Eren tried to drink the water, but just felt worse as the cool liquid hit his stomach. They were almost back to the marina when he stood and heaved again over the side of the boat, gripping the rails to keep from falling in.  _ Ugh… I really shouldn’t have eaten… Maybe I wouldn’t have gotten sick… _ Eren shot Levi an apologetic look. He felt horrible for ruining their trip. 

 

“Babe… it’s okay, don’t apologize. I know that look, and you’re fine. Just focus on yourself. I’ll help you as soon as we’re back at the dock… I’m sorry that I can’t do anything until then…”  _ Fucking hell… I don’t have a choice, I can’t leave and take care of him, or we could be in a bigger mess than we already are… _ Levi was growing increasingly frustrated the longer it seemed to take to get back. All he could do was watch Eren struggle to not get sick. As soon as they were in the marina, Levi jumped up and brought down the sail, covering it quickly. He checked on Eren briefly as he made his way back to the stern, reminding him to drink more water and kissing his forehead in apology. He started the motor back up and guided them to the dock, killing the motor once they were close enough and jumping down to tie the boat off. Once it was secured, he went back for Eren. “Do you think you can walk on your own, or do you want me to help…?” 

 

Eren nodded as he stood. “I’ll be okay… just… Don’t go too far…” Levi got off first and helped him out of the boat, steadying him as his feet hit the dock. Eren gripped at Levi’s arm, trying to keep himself upright as he readjusted to semi-solid ground. Levi kept an arm around his waist as the two walked back toward the car. Once back on their way to the house, he made sure to drive slowly to keep Eren from getting carsick on top of already feeling so sick. Levi glanced over to check on the boy. He had the window down, eyes closed. One arm was wrapped around his stomach, the other hand holding his head up by the open window.  _ I hate that today is so miserable for him… I need to get some motion sickness stuff for next time… he really did seem to enjoy it until he got sick…  _ When they arrived at the house, Levi helped Eren upstairs, the boy insisting on brushing his teeth. Levi obliged, then had him drink a glass of water before letting him lay down.  _ He’s so pale and unsteady…  _ He laid down beside the boy, carefully wrapping a protective arm around his waist and setting his chin on top of the boy’s head. Eren sighed and drifted off to sleep in his lover’s embrace, Levi dozing off not long after. 

 

After a few hours, Eren stirred, waking Levi up in the process. He rolled over in the man’s arms, meeting his sleepy grey eyes. “Well, hello there.” He smiled softly. “Aren’t you a little old for naps?” He kissed Levi on the nose as the older man’s eyes narrowed. 

 

“Oh? I’m old now? Since when was 25 old? What does that make you?” He raised an eyebrow, waiting on an answer. 

 

“Oh, you know. I’m just a brat at 20. Not quite an adult yet. Sometimes classified as a kid. Depends on the day.” He smiled softly as he watched Levi’s eyes brighten. 

 

“Well then, kids like to be tickled, right?” Eren’s eyes widened as he quickly tried to roll away but wasn’t fast enough. Levi lunged and attacked his sides. Eren laughed, struggling as he attempted to get away and protect himself. Levi laughed at the sight, ceasing his attack quickly when he remembered that Eren had been sick just a few hours ago. He kissed the boy softly, pressing his forehead against the Eren’s as they both caught their breath. “Are you okay? I’m sorry, I didn’t even think about how you were feeling earlier…”

 

“I’m fine, Levi, and this kid thanks you for teaching him how to sail this morning. Regardless of how sick I got, I loved it.” He smiled and returned the kiss. “I’ve never done anything like that before. It was amazing, and I’ll never forget it as long as I live. I wish I didn’t get sick.. It would be fun to go again.”

 

“Well, I might be able to help with that. They make motion sickness medicine that’s non drowsy, so you can still enjoy it and not just pass out. Maybe we can try that some time.” His voice dropped to a whisper as he let his head drop to the boy’s neck “I’d love to finish what you started.”

 

A shiver ran down Eren’s back at the lusty suggestion laced in his voice. “Y-yeah… Me too…For sure next time.” He swallowed hard before changing the direction of the conversation. “Umm… Can we maybe go get something to eat? I’m starving…” His stomach growled as if on cue. 

 

“Absolutely!” Levi quickly got up, helping Eren to his feet just to be safe. He kept a hand on the small of the boy’s back as they made their way downstairs; he couldn’t be too careful when it came to Eren. He made the brunette a sandwich to tide him over till dinner later. Levi was worried that anything more would cause him to be sick again. As soon as he finished the sandwich, Eren was up rummaging through the fridge, looking for more food. Levi couldn’t help but grin as he watched the boy.  _ I’m glad he feels comfortable enough around here to do that. I’m even happier that he’s so hungry. I can’t remember ever seeing him with an appetite like this.  _ Once Eren was sated, the pair went and found Maman and Papa out by the pool. 

 

Eren turned to Levi, giving him a disbelieving look. “You didn’t tell me there was a pool! I didn’t even have time to go buy swim trunks…” 

 

Levi stared at him in shock for a moment before doubling over in laughter. “I’m sorry, Eren. I didn’t even think about it. If you want to swim, just swim in some shorts or something. I’ll replace them later.” As Eren continued to give Levi a hard time for leaving out the pool detail, Maman and Papa exchanged shocked glances at how comfortable Eren suddenly was and, even more so, at how happy and relaxed Levi was. 

 

“I haven’t seen him laugh like this since before we moved here from France…” Maman whispered over to Papa. “Levi had better treasure him. That boy is something else…” Papa nodded his head in agreement as he smiled, watching the boys’ interaction. He chuckled softly as he watched Eren animatedly flail his arms to accentuate his point to Levi, the older trying to keep himself from laughing at the boy’s antics. After a while, Levi promised to take Eren to buy swim trunks after dinner. The whole family went back inside to eat, and then the boys ran out for their errand. Soon, everyone was heading off to bed after a very long day. The couple quickly fell asleep in each other’s arms. They slept peacefully as one dreamt of billowy sails and an ocean breeze, the other of beautiful ocean eyes filled with wonder. 

 

The next morning, Eren once again woke before Levi. He decided that he wanted to start his day in the pool, so he carefully rolled out of bed and changed into the new swim trunks he and Levi had purchased the previous night. He brushed his teeth, then wandered out to the pool. Excitement coursed through him as he ran and jumped into the cold water, not bothering to check his surroundings. When he resurfaced, he was faced with a very wet, very shocked Papa. “Oh m-my god.. I'm s-so s-sorry… I d-didn’t….” Eren didn't know if the stutter was from the frigid water or the sudden fear that bolted through him.  _ Oh no… He's going to be mad… Please don't hit me… Levi… Help!  _ He covered his face with his arms as the man broke out in deep laughter.  _ Wait.. He's laughing? _ Eren peeked past his shaking arms to see the man kneeling down by the side of the pool, concern filling his eyes as his laughter quickly subsided. 

 

Papa quickly lost all humor in the situation the second Eren cowered away from him. He took in the boy’s still skinny stature and noticed all the silvery scars that littered his body out in the light.  _ Poor boy… I hope Levi is treating you well… You look like you need someone to love you.  _ “Oh, Eren… Please don't be afraid of me.” He had sunk to his knees, trying to appear less intimidating. “I promise, I mean you no harm, and I'm sorry if I scared you.” 

 

At that moment, Levi walked out the back door. Seeing Eren in the water with his arms up, he immediately went on alert. “Eren..?” He called out, keeping his tone level. The boy didn't respond. Papa glanced over, meeting Levi's worried gaze with a concerned look of his own. Levi watched as his father reached out to the boy, trying to coax him to the edge of the pool. 

 

He lunged into action as Eren screamed, cowering away from the outstretched hand. “Daddy, no! I'm sorry!” Everything started to flow in slow motion as he watched Eren slip under the water. He couldn't move fast enough. He knew he was calling for the boy, trying to break him out of his panic. He saw his father dive off the side, going straight for Eren. By the time Levi made it to the edge of the pool, Papa had emerged with Eren limp in his arms. He carefully laid him on the ground, quickly backing away to give Levi space to work. 

 

“Fuck! He's not breathing!” Levi knew he would have inhaled water the second he went under since he had been panicking. He turned the boy’s head to the side and started chest compressions, trying to force the water out. “God dammit, Eren! Breathe, dammit!” Suddenly, the boy jerked, coughing violently as he forced the water from his lungs. Levi helped him sit up, rubbing his back as he continued to cough. 

 

Eren looked around frantically. He saw Papa soaking wet a few feet off and Levi sitting directly in front of him, tears streaming down his ghostly pale face. Eren reached up, trembling, to wipe away his tears. His voice was raw as he spoke. “Levi, why are you crying?”

 

Levi gathered the boy into his arms, holding him tight. “I thought I'd lost you again… You weren't breathing. Why didn't you just wait for me to get up… If Papa hadn't already been so close… I don't know if I could have gotten to you in time…” 

 

Eren glanced up at Papa, shock in his eyes. “H-he saved me? He wasn't mad at me for splashing him?” 

 

Levi shook his head. “Eren, Papa would never be mad at you. He has the patience of a fucking saint. Yes, he saved you.” Levi sat back, checking every inch of the boy over to be sure he was in one piece. “Please, for the love of all that's holy, don't scare me like that…”

 

“I'm sorry, Levi. I really didn't mean it..” Eren stood, wobbling as he clung to Levi for support. Walking over to Papa, he stopped a few feet in front of him. “T-thank you… I'm sorry I caused you trouble…” 

 

Papa smiled softly. He wanted to hug the boy, but thought better of it. “Eren, you have nothing to apologize for. I'm just happy you're safe. Thanks for not checking out on us.”

 

As Levi guided Eren back into the house to go get him changed, Papa placed a hand on his still trembling shoulder. “He really was a shithead. Do I need to go track someone down?”

 

Levi shook his head. “No… But I'm prepared if he comes back. Never again. He's not touching him.” He whispered so the boy couldn't hear him. Papa nodded in understanding, releasing his hold so Levi could follow Eren into the house. 

 

Once Eren and Papa had changed into dry clothes, Maman called everyone for breakfast. She had served up quite a spread of fruit, muffins, scrambled eggs, and several other things.  Eren’s stomach growled as he sat down at the table. Maman paused behind Eren, kissing the top of his head as she made her way to her own seat. “I heard that things got exciting this morning. How are you feeling, dear?” 

 

Eren blushed as he dropped his head, wanting to vanish. “Y-yeah… I uh… I guess I got a little thirsty in the pool.” He pushed his food around the plate with his fork in embarrassment. He chuckled nervously as he tried to push the comment off with a joke, wincing at his sore chest.

 

Levi choked on his tea at Eren’s comment, looking up at him incredulously.  _ He got thirsty? He almost died less than an hour ago, and he’s making jokes. He’s trying so hard.  _ He shook his head. Smiling softly at his brat, he reached over and grabbed the boy’s hand under the table, rubbing his thumb over the back of his hand comfortingly.  _ I hate that his chest is hurting because of me, but there was no way around it.  _

 

Maman smiled gently as she sat between Levi and Papa. “Well, next time let’s get a glass. You gave the boys quite a scare.” 

 

Papa spoke up this time, his voice soft as he tried to remain as unimposing as possible. “I was thinking about going for a walk out on the beach. Would you boys like to go with me? Eren, it would be a good chance for you to get a closer look at the ocean without the chance of getting seasick.”

 

The brunette glanced over at Levi. He really wanted to go, but he didn’t want to make a decision for both of them. Levi caught his gaze, smiling in understanding. “I think that sounds like a great idea. Eren, what do you think?” 

 

“I would really like that...” He answered quietly, thankful that Levi caught the hint. “Are there many shells out there? That would be neat.”

 

“Oh, absolutely! We can go for a seashell hunt. I haven’t done that since Levi was little!” Papa’s eyes sparkled at the idea.  _ Maybe we’re making some progress. I don’t want him to be afraid of me. I seriously have some words for the fuckwad who did this to him. I could think of seven different ways off the top of my head to take care of him. He wouldn’t be hard to find.  _

 

_ He’s plotting something. I’ve seen that look before. Papa, I’ve got it.  _ Levi kicked his father beneath the table, bringing his attention back to the conversation. “What time are you wanting to go down there, Papa?” 

 

“If it pleases the the court, I was going to go right after breakfast?” He grinned when Eren cocked his head to the side in curiosity at his comment. 

 

After a moment, Eren smiled and nodded. “The court is pleased with that decision.” He carefully finished his breakfast, making sure not to agitate his already raw throat.  Once Levi and Papa were finished, the three made their way down to the beach, following a gravel path from the backyard. Eren stuck close to Levi’s side, still leary of Papa, but no longer afraid. 

 

“So, is there anything particular you’re looking for, Eren?” Papa asked over his shoulder as he walked ahead of the boys. 

 

Eren slipped his hand into Levi’s, squeezing gently. “N-not really… I’ve just always seen on tv where people look for shells when they go to the ocean… S-so I’ve always wanted to do that if I ever got to go…”

 

Levi rubbed his thumb across the back of Eren’s hand, giving him silent comfort. “Papa knows all the best spots for shells. It's a hobby of Maman’s, so Papa made a point to find all the best places for shell collecting. 

 

Eren perked at that information. “Really? I’ll just follow you then.” He smiled at Papa, growing more comfortable with the warm hearted man as he spent time with him. The trio spent the next few hours walking along the beach as Eren collected many kinds of shells. 

 

Maman couldn’t help but smile when the boys returned to the house. Eren was smiling and laughing right along with Papa. She could tell that he was still on his guard, but he was finally relaxing around the man. “Well, it looks like you boys had a good time. What did you all do?”

 

Eren rushed over excitedly, revealing the shirtful of shells to her. “Maman! Look at what we found! Papa and Levi said you liked shells too. Do you want any of these? I won’t be able to take them all home.” 

 

“Oh, my! You found some good ones! How about we get them cleaned up first then we can take a look at them all? Take them over to the sink, okay?” Eren nodded and made his way to the sink, carefully setting his haul into the counter. Levi whispered something to Maman as he walked past. She nodded and pointed off to another part of the house. Levi vanished quickly in the direction she had shown. She made her way to the sink, rubbing Eren gently on the back. “Those are beautiful, Eren! So what we're going to do is rinse these really well, then we’ll have to boil them so they won’t smell. You go ahead and rinse them. I’ll get some water on the stove to boil.” 

 

Eren nodded, smiling happily. Maman took off to get a pot, returning shortly to fill it with water before putting it on the stove. After they finished boiling the shells, Maman laid out a towel on the counter and they carefully set the shells out to dry. “They’re so much prettier clean, Maman! I had no idea you had to do all this.” He laughed softly, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.  _ Wow, I must look ridiculous to her, not knowing something so simple.  _

 

“Not many people do, dear. You’re fine. Now you know, and you can do it whenever you and Levi visit other beaches!” She smiled softly, kissing him on the cheek. About that time, Levi returned with a jar. It had waves etched into the glass, and sand filled the bottom. 

 

“Here, Eren. You can put the ones you want to keep in here. We can put it on display back home. I put some sand from the beach in here, too.” Eren shot him a dazzling smile, rushing over and taking the jar from him carefully. He watched as the boy inspected the jar with wonder before setting it on the table.  _ I guess he likes it? I’m gla --  _ His thoughts were interrupted as he was suddenly jumped on. Eren had leapt onto him, wrapping his arms around the smaller man and kissing him.  _ Well then. I guess he is comfortable with Maman and Papa now.  _

 

“Thank you so much, Levi! This is perfect! I know exactly where we can put it!”  _ He’s brilliant! This will look perfect on the half wall between the kitchen and living room. Then we can see it no matter where we are. And we can add to it the more places we go! _

 

Levi wrapped his arms around the boy’s waist.  _ I don’t know that I’ve ever seen him this happy… If nothing else, this trip was worth getting to see him like this.  _ “I’m glad you like it. Maman had the jar already, so that made getting it easy. We can fill the jar once they’ve dried completely.” 

 

“Boys, I was thinking about making Le Fraiser. Would you like to help?” Eren glanced up at Levi in curiosity. 

 

“Oh, Eren would love that. He loves strawberries! Eren, it's a strawberry shortcake basically. It’s from France.” The boy’s eyes lit up with excitement at the mention of strawberries. 

 

“What do we have to do? I’d love to help!” His shoulders fell through as he remembered that he wasn’t that great in the kitchen. “Well… Maybe I shouldn’t… I’m not the best in the kitchen… I burned garlic bread the last time I tried to use an oven…” 

 

Levi ruffled Eren’s hair, giving him a knowing look. “Babe, this is easy. You’ll be okay. Maman and I both know how to make this one. We’ll help you.” He leaned in and whispered in the boy’s ear. “I won’t let you fail. You’ve got this, babe. Trust me.”

 

“Levi is right, dear. This is a fairly simple recipe.” Maman pulled out all of the ingredients as Levi walked Eren through the instructions. Levi and Maman worked as though they worked together every day. Eren stood back out of their way, not sure how he could possibly help at all. Levi started to measure out the flour, glancing over his shoulder at the brunette standing back. 

 

“Hey, Eren, come here and help me.” The brunette meekly wandered up beside Levi, squeaking in surprise as a cloud of white suddenly filled his vision. He brushed his face, trying to figure out what had just happened when he realized that Levi was laughing. Rubbing his eyes so he could see, he found Levi doubled over in laughter. “Y-You looked so shocked! You look like a ghost now!” 

 

Once he got over the initial shock, Eren started to laugh softly.  _ Whatever, I guess. I love his laugh. If it takes me getting a face full of flour to hear it, then I’m game for that.  _ He glanced over and saw the bag of flour. He reached in and grabbed a handful of it before turning his attention back to Levi. “Levi, look at me.” As soon as Levi looked up, eyes watering from his laughter, Eren threw the flour into his face. “There, now we match.” He put his hand on his hip, a smug grin crossing his face. Levi had frozen as soon as the cloud hit him. 

 

“E-Eren! Really? I’m a mess now….” He tried to brush all the powder off of him, failing miserably. 

 

“You can take a shower later, and your clothes can be washed. Plus, this is fun.” Eren glanced over at Maman, worried about how she would feel about the mess they had made. She was leaning against the counter, eyes bright as she covered her mouth with her hand, masking her laughter. 

 

“How about you boys go get cleaned up. I’ll finish up here.” Her smile was warm as she shooed the two of them out of the kitchen. The boys made their way up to their room, Eren laughing as Levi continued to brush at his clothes in mock disgust. By the time they were showered, changed, and back downstairs, Maman was finishing up the cake. “You two look good! Would you like some cake?” 

 

Eren nodded excitedly, taking a plate from her. He groaned softly as he took a bite. “Oh. My. God. This is amazing. I don’t think I’ve ever had cake that tasted this good… Thank you so much!” 

 

Maman smiled as she handed Levi his piece. “I’m glad you like it. It was one of Levi’s favorites as a child.” 

 

Eren looked over at Levi, the older man’s cheeks reddening slightly. “Maman… Really?”  

 

She feigned an innocent face. “Oh dear, have I embarrassed the big strong man? Forgive me for sharing your likes with your boyfriend.”  Levi groaned and dropped his face into his hand. She took her own plate and sat next to Eren, leaving Levi standing in the kitchen in embarrassment. 

 

Eren thought back to his own mother, wondering what it would have been like if she were still around.  _ I wonder what she would have thought of Levi… Would she have been okay with me loving another man? _ Tears welled in his eyes as he remembered her. He felt Maman’s warmth as she placed a gentle hand on his back, and he lost control. Tears quietly streamed down his face as he was overwhelmed with sudden emotion. 

  
Levi’s embarrassment vanished the moment he saw his brat crying. He set down his cake and rushed to Eren’s side. Maman was already hugging the brunette, trying to figure out what was wrong. Once he got there, he realized that Eren was smiling through his tears. He backed off, letting Maman comfort him.  _ He needs mom time…. He’s been without it for so long… Maman knows enough of his background to understand. I’m so glad that she seems to love him as much as I do.  Well, almost. I still take the cake on that one. No question.  _ A sad smile crossed his lips as he thought about everything his brat had been through, how strong he had been, and how much he deserved to be loved unconditionally. After a while, Eren pulled back from the embrace, his face tearstained, but his body more relaxed than it had been in a very long time. 


	22. Meet the Ackermans - Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Lovelies!!
> 
> Here is your next fabulous chapter! We really hope you'll enjoy it!

Levi woke Friday morning with Eren’s body wrapped around his own.  _ He must have slept well; he’s wrapped all over me. He had a long day yesterday though. He deserves some good sleep. He really made some improvement. He was finally comfortable with Papa, and I think he’s finally realized that Maman is there for him.  _ Levi adjusted so he could run his fingers through the boy’s hair, contemplating how far he had come since that day he had stopped him in the hallway. Levi hummed softly as he played with the boy’s hair. 

 

Eren stirred against Levi as he woke.  _ That’s one of my songs he’s humming… which one… Heartlines? Did he learn it from just one car trip, or does he like Broods too? I love his voice. I could listen to him forever.  _ He sighed and snuggled against Levi’s slender frame. The humming stopped once Levi realized that he had woken. “Aww… Why’d you stop? I love your voice…” He smiled against Levi’s chest as he felt it rumble with a chuckle. 

 

Levi kissed the top of the boy’s head. “You’re awake now, so that means it’s time to get up. I was thinking I could take you shopping. There are several places I think you’ll like, and it wouldn’t hurt to get you some new clothes for the rest of the summer and school next semester.” He slipped out of bed, pulling Eren along with him. “Come on, babe. Let’s take a shower. There’s a nice little bistro I thought we could go to for breakfast, then we can go from there.” 

 

Eren followed along, allowing Levi to pull him. He wrapped his arms around Levi as he started the shower. “That sounds good, but… I think I’d rather have you for breakfast.” He kissed along the older man’s shoulder, pressing his growing erection against Levi’s ass. 

 

Levi turned in the boy’s embrace, his own erection painfully evident. “Well…” He purred as he pressed his body against Eren’s, “I suppose I can change our breakfast plans…” He looped his arms around the boy’s neck, reaching up and kissing him softly. “Let’s get in the shower first. I don’t want you to get cold after I get you naked.” He smirked as he pulled off the boy’s shirt and slipped his thumbs into his waistband, pushing his pants and underwear down to the floor. Eren reciprocated, quickly doing away with Levi’s pajamas, kissing along his toned body as he went. 

 

Eren smirked as Levi turned to step into the shower. He smacked the man on the ass, chuckling as Levi yelped and looked over his shoulder at the boy, lust darkening his gaze. “Hurry up slowpoke, I want you now…”

 

Levi grabbed the boy's wrist and pulled him toward the steaming water. “Well come and get me then.” Eren stepped into the stream of water, backing Levi against the wall and pressing a heated kiss to his lips. Levi parted his lips, allowing Eren entrance, tangling his fingers in the boy’s hair as he pulled him down to him. 

 

Eren bit Levi’s lip as he grabbed the man’s thighs, lifting him up around his waist. Levi moaned softly, locking his legs around the boy’s slender hips. His head fell back against the wall as Eren nipped and sucked down his neck, mewling as Eren stretched him.

 

“H-hurry the fuck up, Eren.” Levi growled, biting at Eren’s shoulder. “I want you, now..” Eren was all too willing to comply with the command, lowering the man onto his hard length. Levi moaned as Eren filled him, the new angle hitting all the right places. “Fuck… You’re so fucking good in me…” Eren groaned at the tightness and Levi’s words, gripping the man’s thighs as he moved him along his length.  _ Shit, this kid is surprisingly strong for how frail he looks at times…  _

 

“S-shit, Levi… You’re so fucking tight…” Eren thrust into him, working to find the spot that would make him scream. Within moments, he found it, Levi crying out in his arms, fingers gripping into Eren’s shoulders. 

 

“A-ah! Right there, Eren, please… Fuck…” He reached between them, stroking his dripping member, knowing that if they didn’t finish soon, Eren wasn’t going to make it.  _ There’s no way he can do this much longer. I may be small, but I’m not light.  _

 

The brunette groaned as Levi tightened around him, getting close to his own release. “Fuck, come for me, Levi… You’re so fucking sexy right now. All wet, panting, and full of my cock…” 

 

Levi shuddered as he found his release, crying out Eren’s name.  _ Fuck… I didn’t think I cared about dirty talk, but apparently it does things to me… _ He tightened his arms around Eren’s neck, trying to help hold his weight as Eren moaned, emptying himself into Levi. The boy dropped his head to Levi’s shoulder, trembling as he tried to catch his breath. Levi ran his fingers through the boy’s hair, waiting for him to still. 

 

Eren pulled out of him, carefully setting his feet on the ground. Levi caught Eren by the shoulders as he started to waiver. “Hey, careful, babe. I’ve got you.” Levi reached over and turned the water up a bit before shifting his full attention to the boy in front of him. Pumping some soap into his hand, he massaged the boy’s head as he washed his hair, Eren sighing and relaxing against his shoulder. “You’re not as slight as you look, are you? I know I’m not light.”

 

The brunette chuckled softly and wrapped his arms around Levi’s waist, standing back up to his full height. “Not quite. I may be skinny, but I won’t break. Not that I couldn’t benefit from going to the gym. I mean, for crying out loud, I look like a twig compared to your sexy ass.” 

 

Levi blushed and rolled his eyes. “Oh, I see. You’re only in this relationship for my body. Maybe I should rethink this.” 

 

“Oh yeah, totally. You ever lose the muscles, I’m outta here.” Eren gave him a warm smile, kissing him softly. “I love you, Levi.” 

 

“I know, kid. I love you, too. Now let’s hurry up and get cleaned up. We’ve got shopping to do and breakfast to eat.” The boys quickly finished their shower and got ready to go out. After checking in with Maman, the pair took off for town. 

 

Levi pulled up to the little bistro. Jumping out, he ran around and opened the door for Eren before he had a chance. “After you, babe.” He motioned, a smile reserved only for Eren gracing his lips. The boy blushed softly and got out of the car. 

 

“Thanks… You don’t have to do that, you know…” He looked at the smaller man as Levi laced his fingers with Eren’s. 

 

“I know I don’t, but I want to. Because if anyone deserves it, you do.” Eren tightened his fingers around Levi’s, his shoulders falling as he looked down. 

 

“I don’t though…” He tensed as Levi stepped in front of him. The smaller man reached up and placed a hand on his cheek, forcing Eren to look at him.

 

“I thought we had already moved past this, Eren. You deserve every bit of love you’re given. You’ve had shit luck in life, but that isn’t what defines you and whether you deserve to be spoiled and loved.” Eren tried to look away, but Levi stopped him, holding the boy’s face between his hands. “Don’t run away from me. I need you to understand this. I fucking love you. More than life itself. Please understand and just let me. Enjoy it. I want to make you feel like the most important man on the face of the goddamned planet.” 

 

Eren reached up and rubbed his eyes, keeping his tears at bay. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m so glad you’re here… I love you, Levi. I’m sorry… I promise I’m trying…” He wrapped his arms around the smaller man, hugging him tightly. 

 

Levi rubbed his back gently, shooting angry glares at the people who passed with disgusted looks on their faces. “I know you are, babe. I know. Come on now, cheer up. Let’s go get some breakfast, and I’ll take you shopping. I promise it’ll be a good day.” Eren straightened, a small smile on his face as he let Levi lead him into the quaint little bistro. 

 

The two ate breakfast, Eren finally relaxing again as he started to enjoy himself. They discussed where they would go first and what to buy. “I want to get something for Maman and Papa. They’ve been so nice and patient while I’ve been here, even with how much trouble I’ve caused. What’s something you think they’d like?”

 

“Well, I’m sure anything you give them they’ll love. They adore you. You already know Maman likes shells. She also likes anything to do with cooking. Papa likes to read and has an infatuation with knives. He collects them or something like that.” Levi paid for their meal as they walked out, not breaking the conversation. Eren started toward the car but stopped when he realized that Levi wasn’t following. 

 

“Levi? Aren’t you coming?” He turned, giving the man a confused look.

 

“Babe, everything is pretty well within walking distance. Let’s just enjoy the day instead of wasting time driving and finding parking every time we want to go to a new shop.” He held out his hand to the boy and waited for Eren to join him. Eren looked back at the car, then smiled and hurried back to take Levi’s hand. The two walked toward the main part of town, Levi sharing which stores would come up first and trying to gauge Eren’s interest level in them. “What do you think about getting you a suit? They come in handy, you know. That shop is closest to us now, so we could do that first.”  _ Well, it’s not a lie that they’re good to have. Every man should have a suit. I in no way, shape, or form have ulterior motives for getting him one. It’s not just because I’m dying to see him looking sharp. Nope. Not at all.  _

 

“I probably do need one… I don’t know if I can afford a custom tailored suit though… And I’m pretty sure one just off the rack won’t look right… I should just wait and save up for one.” He looked at Levi in surprise as the man chuckled beside him. 

 

“Eren, who said you were paying for anything today? Papa gave me his credit card and said that if either of us spent our own money today, we’d regret it. I don’t feel like crossing him. How about you?” 

 

“Oh…” Eren imagined an angry Papa and shivered. The man wasn’t as small as Levi. He was sure that he’d be a force to be reckoned with if he were angry. “N-no… I don’t think I want to see him not in a good mood.” He followed along as Levi led him into a small tailor’s shop. The clerk greeted them and nodded as Levi told him what they were looking for. After taking some measurements of Eren, he disappeared into a back room, returning with a few pieces for Eren to try on. He went through 3 suits, Levi critiquing the good and bad points of each one. The fourth suit however, was greeted with silence. He turned, worried about the silence. “Is it that bad?” He found Levi staring, hand over his mouth with a faint red tinging his cheeks. “W-what?”

 

Eren had emerged in a slim fit charcoal suit that hugged every curve perfectly.  _ Wow… I knew he was hot, but… Holy hell. Why did it take me this long to get him into a suit? _  “No… Quite the opposite… Babe, you look sexy as fuck.” Eren blushed furiously, looking around to make sure the tailor hadn’t heard that comment. “Don’t worry, he stepped out for a moment. Not that I’d care if he heard. It’s the truth. Don’t move, I want to try something.” Levi wandered off and came back with a dark green piece of fabric. He wrapped it around Eren's neck and made quick work of tying it into a fancy knot, then stepped back to admire his handiwork. “Mhmm… that’s what I thought. That tie brings out your beautiful eyes. Grey and green are definitely your colors.” Eren shuffled nervously, not entirely used to all the compliments in public. 

 

“W-well… I guess I want this one then… Now what?” About that time, the tailor returned. Levi let him know that they would take the suit Eren had on. He made some notes and checked the fit. While Eren changed back into his normal clothes, the gentleman let Levi know that since he wasn’t too booked this week, he could have the suit ready to go by the next afternoon. Levi thanked him and paid, then the couple were on their way to the next shop. Eren wandered through each shop, finally finding a beautiful hand blown glass vase. The colors were mixed in a way that mimicked waves along a shore. “This would be perfect for Maman! And we can put flowers in it for her too! It can be a replacement for the one she gave us!” 

 

“That’s beautiful. I’m sure she’ll love that.”

 

“I’m buying this one. And don’t argue. It wouldn’t be right for Papa to buy their gifts… we don’t have to tell him that I paid if you don’t want to… but I’m buying them.” 

 

“Eren… Just let me get it at least?” The boy shook his head, pulling out his own card.

 

“No. I want to do this. Please?” Levi sighed and stepped out of the way, letting Eren pay for the vase. Once he was done, they moved on to the next shop. After a few more fruitless visits, he found a knife that he thought would be perfect for Papa. It had an intricate design carved into the handle, the blade a metallic blue with an equally intricate sheath. “Oh… Isn’t this French here on the sheath? Faire la justice avec miséricorde… Levi, can you help? I’m not sure on the translation...”

 

He wrapped his arms around the boy, looking at the words. “Hm. Temper justice with Mercy. That’s not half bad to put on a knife. Serves as a good reminder. I like it. I bet Papa would, too. He’s big on quotes, and I don’t think he has a blue steel blade yet, to be honest.” 

 

Eren tightened his fingers around the knife, holding it against his chest. “I want to get him this one then. I’m ready if you are.” He glanced at the price, worried about whether his card would go through or not.  _ It has to… I haven’t bought that much recently… _ At the checkout, he blushed in embarrassment as the cashier handed his card back, informing him that it had been declined. He started to argue as Levi stepped in and handed over his own card. “Levi! I told you… I wanted to do this…” 

 

“I know, babe, but sometimes you can’t have it your way. I’ve got it.” Eren huffed and crossed his arms, careful of the bag with the vase that was hanging from his wrist. 

 

“Fine… But you’re going to let me pay you back!” He took the small bag with the knife from the cashier and walked out of the shop with Levi close behind him. 

 

“Of course, whatever you’d like to do. There are a few more good clothing stores down here, but let's stop for lunch first. It's already 1:30.” Eren nodded and followed Levi as he led him into a little sandwich shop. The boys ate lunch, then continued on with their trip. Two more stores and lots of trying on later, Eren was finally finding some things that he liked. He stood in front of a mirror, trying to decide how he felt about his current outfit. It was dark grey skinny jeans, just a little too big for his still slender frame, a light grey t shirt, and a teal vest.  _ This actually doesn’t look half bad. I never would have thought of something like this on my own. Too much grey, I think. Levi is going overboard on the grey and green thing.  _ He chuckled to himself as he thought of how excited Levi was picking out all the different clothing combinations.

 

“Grey is definitely your color. That smile of yours makes the whole outfit though. That’s really something.” Eren jumped and spun around at the unfamiliar voice. A man about his height with a slender build and shaggy blond hair was leaning up against the wall, arms crossed as he eyed Eren hungrily. “You out alone? I wouldn’t mind keeping someone as attractive as you company.” Eren stepped back as the man straightened, moving toward him. He squeaked when his back hit a wall. The blonde pressed a hand against the wall behind the boy, standing over him. “I promise I’ll be a good time. Why don’t you give it a try?”

 

Eren flinched when he heard something fall behind them. The blonde ignored the sound but was quickly pulled back from Eren. “The fuck are you doing here, and why are you harassing  _ my _ boyfriend?” 

 

The blond threw his hands up in surrender, stepping back. “Well, well… If I had known he was yours, Levi, I never would have even thought about it.” 

 

Eren looked between the two, trying to figure out what was going on.  “L-Levi? You know him?”

 

Levi stepped closer to Eren, standing in front of him like a shield. “Yeah. This is Farlan, an old… co-worker.”

 

Farlan crossed his arms and smirked. “Really now? That’s all? Do you fuck all your co-workers, Levi? I really thought I meant more to you than that.” 

 

“Levi?” Eren gripped at the back of Levi’s shirt, trying to keep calm while attempting to understand what was happening. 

 

Levi turned toward the boy, placing a hand on his cheek. “It’s fine, Eren. Just get changed. Grab whatever clothes we’ve already decided you want, and we’re going. We can finish this another day. It’s getting late anyway.” Eren nodded and slipped into the changing room again. Levi turned his attention back to the blonde still standing a few feet off. “What the fuck are you doing here, Farlan? I didn’t think you lived in Southampton… I thought you were still back in the city.”

 

“What? Am I not allowed to visit the rich and famous here in the Hamptons? Your little boy toy seems so innocent and timid. There's no way he’d be here if you were showing your true colors. Aren’t you afraid he’s going to get pulled into all this? It might break him.”

 

Levi stepped forward and grabbed Farlan by the collar, pushing him against the wall with a thud. “I left all that behind, and you know it. I was done after what happened to Isabel, and here you are trying to fucking drag it all back up.” Farlan looked past Levi, watching as Eren stepped out of the dressing room with fear in his eyes. 

 

“Did you even tell him about what we were involved in, Levi? Does he even know what he’s gotten himself into?” Levi realized quickly that Farlan’s words were calculated. 

 

He followed his gaze, turning around quickly.  _ Eren… _ “Get the fuck away from me, Farlan. I don’t want to see your face anymore.” Levi took the few pieces of clothing in Eren’s arms and grabbed his hand. “Come on, Eren. Let’s go.” 

 

The brunette let himself be dragged along.  _ What was all that about… What was Farlan talking about? True colors? What I’ve gotten into? Who are you, Levi?  _ His chest ached as his anxiety level rose. Levi quickly paid for the clothes and the two started back toward the car. “Levi… What was all of that? What haven’t you told me?” 

 

“Wait til we’re home… Please… I’ll tell you everything there…”

 

Eren watched as Levi tensed at his question.  _ He doesn’t want to tell me? Or he’s scared to tell me… Why? What did you do?  _ The drive back was filled with a heavy silence, Eren’s thoughts running wild as he tried to make sense of what had just happened. He was confused and worried, the minutes only making the ache in his chest more severe. 

 

_ I don’t want to tell him in the car… I need to be able to watch him, make sure he’s okay. I wish there was something I could do to ease his mind… He’s over thinking this right now, I’m sure…  _ Levi gripped the steering wheel as he focused on getting them home as quickly as possible. 

 

Maman greeted them as they walked in the door, worry etched into her face as she read the tense atmosphere between the two. “If you boys need me, I’ll be out back on the patio…” Levi nodded and followed Eren up the stairs to their room. 

 

Eren sat on the bed and watched Levi, waiting expectantly for an explanation. 

 

Levi sighed and stood in front of Eren after setting their bags down. “That guy back at the shop, Farlan, myself, and Isabel used to run around with… the wrong sort of people, you could say. Papa headed up a lot of business deals. We just got… involved, so to speak, with an existing group back in the city. There were lots of other members, but we ran our own section, I guess. Farlan dealt with weapons, Isabel was a drug runner, and I mostly handled the business side of things. Negotiations… Deals… I did the talking. We were close. Isabel was like our little sister, and well… Farlan and I were… An item, I guess.” Levi stopped and looked up to gauge how Eren was handling this information. The boy’s eyes were narrowed, frustration evident on his face. 

 

“So, you were in a gang?” He couldn’t help the venom that was laced in his voice. He had bared his soul to this man, and Levi hadn’t thought it was relevant to share this bit of information with him?  _ Does he not trust me? Was this really too good to be true? I should have known this would happen. No one can be trusted, ever. Why did I think this would be any different?  _

 

Levi flinched at the words. They sounded so much worse coming from Eren. Levi knelt down in front of the boy, laying his hands on the brunette’s. “Please, Eren. I’m not that person anymore, and I didn’t want to drag you down with my past… I swear I didn’t keep this from you to hurt you…”

 

Eren pulled his hands away and stood, walking toward the door. “Yeah… Cause you didn’t fucking trust me. I get it.” He walked out, shutting the door behind him with more force than was necessary. 

 

Levi stayed on his knees, a hand coming to his chest. It felt like his heart was being torn in half.  _ Fuck… What have I done…  _ He quickly lunged to his feet and followed the boy out the door and down the stairs. He tried to help as Eren started to falter, but his hand was smacked away. 

 

“Don’t fucking touch me. I can’t right now. Just leave me alone. I need to think.” Eren trudged through the house, leaving Levi standing in shock on the stairs.  _ Good. He deserves that right now. He can think about what he’s done.  _

 

_ No… Don’t look at me like that, Eren… I didn’t mean for this to happen…  He’s not even comprehending this. He’s in shock. He looks like an empty shell.  _ Levi sunk to the steps, worried about whether Eren would even want to trust him again after this. 

 

The boy found himself out on the back porch, his arms wrapped around Maman’s waist before he even knew what he’d done. Tears were falling as he buried his face into her shoulder. “W-why couldn’t he trust me? I d-don’t care what he did in the past, but… I shared everything with him… W-why couldn't he do the same?” 

 

_ What? What happened? Levi couldn’t trust him? Past…  OH. That. Well, then. I figured he had already told the poor boy, but apparently I was wrong. He’ll get an earful for that later….  _ Maman stroked the boy’s hair and rubbed his back gently, trying to comfort him. “Shhh… you’re fine, mon amour. Levi isn’t that person anymore. He was simply trying to protect you from a world that was dangerous. He loves you very much and only wants to see you safe and happy. He lost someone he loved dearly to that world and got out of it. He pulled all of us out. Farlan chose to stay behind, however. I’m sure you know about Isabel already. He doesn’t want that to happen to you. I think it would break him if he caused you to be put into danger. None of this was because he didn’t trust you; it was all because of how much he loves you.” 

 

Eren’s tears had ceased, now nothing but a few sniffles as he let her warmth wash over him.  _ I know she’s right...but still… I can’t help but feel like it was a trust issue… How can I know that's all there is to it? And what about Farlan… He said they dated… _ He finally released Maman, wiping his eyes. “Thank you… I’m sorry…”   
  


“Oh goodness, you have nothing to be sorry for, Eren. I do think you need to go talk to Levi though. You boys care about each other far too much to let this come between you.” Eren nodded and slowly made his way back into the house. He found Levi sitting on the stairs where he had left him, his head bowed and fingers clasped across the back of his head. 

 

He sat a step below Levi, noticing that his beautiful man was crying. His chest ached at the sight.  _ Oh, Levi… Don’t cry… Please… you’re too beautiful, and I’m not worth your tears… _ He finally spoke after a few minutes of sitting in silence, his voice a mere whisper. “Why couldn’t you trust me? I told you everything… Why couldn’t you do the same?”

 

Levi’s voice cracked as he answered, raw emotion making it hard to speak. “Eren… I trust you more than anyone… I just… I can’t lose you like I lost her… You mean more to me than anyone I’ve ever known… I-if I lost you… I wouldn’t make it. I didn’t want you to be anywhere near that world… it’s not something that I’m a part of anymore, but I didn’t want to risk it…”  

 

“I don’t understand that. I can’t comprehend it, Levi. If I’m here, you’ve got all of me. All or nothing. I expect the same from you… And if you can’t do that, then this won’t work… As much as it kills me to say that… If this didn’t work… I wouldn’t  see tomorrow. Because I can’t live without you anymore…. I won’t do it. I won’t go back to living alone in fear of what tomorrow might hold. I’d rather die.” 

 

Levi’s head shot up, his eyes wide with fear. “No…” He whispered and reached for the boy, stopping just shy of his shoulder, not sure if he was allowed to touch him again yet.  _ He’s too calm about this… this was exactly what he did when he started hurting himself again after Grisha… He’s not okay. He’s on that same ledge; I have to talk him down… Let me save you... _ “I feel the same way about you… But no matter what, you have to live… We’re fine, Eren. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I’ll never keep anything from you again, even if I think it will be too much for you… just… please… you have to keep on living…”

 

Eren scooted up to sit on the step beside Levi, leaning over and resting his head on his shoulder. He sighed, his shoulders drooping as he instantly relaxed from the physical contact with Levi. “I need you to tell me things… trust is a big deal for me… everyone has broken it… please don’t be like everyone else… I need you to not be like everyone else…”

 

Levi tensed, not sure what to do. He didn’t want to overstep his boundaries. “This was 8 years ago. I got out when Isabel overdosed. I did it for 3 years.” 

 

“And Farlan? What was he?” 

 

“The three of us were close. Really close. Like I said before, Isabel was like our sister. Farlan started hitting on me. I went along with it… we were kinda like friends with benefits. I never felt the same for him that he felt for me though.”

 

“So he’s a non issue?”

 

“He’s nothing to me now. He refused to leave that world. I don’t want to associate with anyone from that world. He means nothing to me, never did. I made that clear when I agreed to be with him.”

 

“Levi…”

 

“Yes?” He turned his head, looking down at the boy on his shoulder. 

 

“Fucking hug me…. I need you to touch me…” Levi’s tension slowly ebbed away as he took no time to turn and wrap his arms firmly around the boy. Eren laced his arms around Levi’s waist, burying his face into the man’s chest, the tears that had been forced down by his eerie calm rushing forth. He shook in Levi’s arms as relief washed over him.  _ He’s still here, he’s not gone. I didn’t lose him, he trusts me. This is past. This isn’t him now. I can keep living… _

 

Levi held the boy close, relief flooding him as the dam broke.  _ He’s okay… tears mean it’s okay.. He’s okay… _ They sat on the stairs for what felt like hours, Eren clutching to Levi as if he would vanish at any moment. When he finally calmed, Levi offered the boy dinner but was turned down. 

 

“I just want to sleep… please… can we just go to bed…” 

 

“Yeah… As long as you promise to eat in the morning…” Eren nodded and stood on wobbly feet, bracing himself against the wall. Levi stood with him, wrapping an arm around his waist. “Come on, babe. Time for sleep. You need it after today, anyway.” Once the two had cuddled up in bed, Levi shot a quick text to Maman, letting her know that they were going to bed early. Almost immediately, she texted back in French.

 

**Maman: You had better have a fucking good explanation for why your boyfriend came to me crying about your past, you little shit. I have patience but not much when it comes to you fucking over your relationships. I have never seen you this god damn happy and you’re not going to fuck this up for yourself. Don’t fucking let it happen again and don’t fucking hurt him. Got it, Levi?**

 

**Levi: Yes ma’am… I’m sorry. It won’t happen again… we’re good now.**

 

**Maman: Good. Keep it that way. I love you both very much. Good night, love.**

 

**Levi: I love you too. Goodnight, Maman.**

 

He shivered as he put his phone back on the nightstand.  _ Never ever cross the line with a gangster wife. Ever. Even if she’s your own mother. They’re scary ass motherfuckers.  _ He tightened his arms around the boy and pulled him close. “I love you…” 

 

Eren yawned and closed his fingers around Levi’s shirt. “I love you, too… Please don’t ever leave me… I was serious earlier…”

 

Levi kissed the top of his head, his heart aching for the beautiful boy in his arms. “There is nothing in the world that could take me from you. You’re stuck with me for life, babe.” 

 

The two quickly dozed off, Levi waking up every now and then, still tense from the evening’s events. 

 

Eren walked through the door of his apartment, expecting to see Levi in the kitchen making dinner. He was faced with a cold, dark, empty apartment, exactly what he used to come home to before Levi.  _ No, Levi’s gone… He said he wouldn’t leave… Levi!  _ Eren rushed through the door, dropping his backpack and racing to the kitchen. He spun around, looking around the apartment. “Levi!” 

 

“No one is coming to save you, you little piece of shit. This time, you’re not making it out of this alive.” A gravelly voice echoed through the empty apartment, the tall, dark figure emerging from the bedroom. Eren’s voice caught in his throat as he backed against the kitchen counter, too scared to run.

 

“L-Levi…” Grisha quickly covered the distance between them, fist raised. Eren dropped to his knees, arms coming up to instinctively cover his head. “LEVI!”

 

Eren shot up in bed, sweat drenching him as he tried to slow his racing breath. Levi was at his side in an instant, brushing the matted hair out of his face, his even tone working to bring the boy back from the depths of his mind. “Eren, I’m right here, you’re safe, I’m right here. You’re safe, you’re safe…”  _ He’s had some nasty dreams, but he’s never woken up screaming for me… What on earth… _

 

Eren gasped for breath, hands fisting in Levi’s shirt. “D-dad… back… y-you weren’t home… gone… Dead… I was dead… he was going to kill me this time… L-Levi, you were gone… you promised you wouldn’t leave!”

 

Levi pulled him into his arms, rubbing his back. “Eren. Shhh, Eren, listen to me. It was only a dream. It wasn’t real. I’m not leaving you. I’ll never leave you.” He continued to rock the boy as he cried, muttering about how Levi had left him, Levi reassuring him that he wasn’t gone and that he would never go. Finally, Eren calmed and fell back asleep in Levi’s arms. He carefully laid them both down and tried to fall back asleep himself.  _ Something isn’t right… He had a bad dream about that asshat right before he showed up again last time…. I really hope this isn’t going to be the same thing… Oh well, if he decides to show his face again, I’m ready this time. It’s him that won’t make it out of this alive if he tries anything. _


	23. Meet the Ackermans - Part 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HaaaiiiiI!!! Here is the new chapter! :3 Sorry that we didn't have creative names for meeting Levi's parents >_< We honestly didn't think it would take so many chapters to get through it lol. 
> 
> Enjoy and remember to comment and let us know what you think!

The next morning, Eren woke with Levi wrapped around him.  _ Oh… This is nice… He doesn’t usually do that. I must have really scared him last night… _ He sighed and snuggled against the toned body next to him, his stomach growling loudly as he remembered that he hadn’t eaten last night. He tensed when Levi shifted next to him. 

 

“Tell your stomach to keep it down. Some people are still trying to sleep.” Levi smirked as he propped himself up on an elbow. “But, since I’m up, let’s go get breakfast. It smells like Maman is already making food anyway.” He leaned down and kissed the brunette softly on the lips. “I love you, Eren.” 

 

A small smile crossed his lips. “Love you too, Levi.” 

 

The two got out of bed and got ready for the day before going down for breakfast. Maman greeted them with a warm smile, setting a plate in front of each of them. “Well, you boys look like you slept well.” 

 

“We did. Well, I did. Thank you. I’m sorry about yesterday…” Eren picked at his food as he answered. 

 

“I did sleep well. Thank you, Maman.” He squeezed Eren’s leg gently, trying to reassure him that all was well. “You’ve got nothing to apologize for, babe. Just make sure you eat, okay? We’ve gotta go pick up your suit, too.” 

 

“Oh, you got a suit while you were out? How exciting! I can’t wait to see it!” Maman clasped her hands together, excitement on her face. “That works out perfectly! We have plans for this evening, and you’ll need a suit. Make sure you boys are ready to go at 6:30.”

 

Eren glanced over at Levi, concern evident on his face. “Um… What are we doing, Levi…?” He whispered, not wanting to offend Maman. 

 

“I’m not sure…” He glanced up a Maman. “Maman, what are we doing this evening? I’d feel more comfortable knowing what the plan is.” 

 

“Of course.” She glanced at Eren, understanding the underlying question. “We’re going to Bouley for dinner. How does that sound?” 

 

“Oh, that sounds good. Eren you’ll like the food there. It’s really good French food.” Eren nodded, accepting that answer. 

 

_ It's just dinner… That won’t be bad… Just eat and come home. Easy enough.  _ Eren finished his food and waited patiently for Levi to finish his own. Soon, the boys were on their way to pick up the finished suit. The tailor had Eren do a final fit check before getting him some shoes to complete the ensemble. They grabbed a light lunch, then headed back to the house to rest before dinner. 

 

6:30 rolled around, and Eren stood nervously in the entry hall, picking at his sleeves. Levi stood with him wearing a simple black suit with a cravat. He continued reassuring the boy that he looked amazing, grabbing his hand to calm him. Papa walked in with Maman on his arm. He was wearing a white suit with a red tie, Maman had on a matching red cocktail dress with a white ribbon around the waist.  _ Wow… They’re in another league… They look like they just walked off of the runway.  _

 

Papa’s warm smile spread across his face as he saw the two. “Well, don’t you both clean up nice? Eren, I love that suit. Perfect fit. Grey is definitely a great color for you! Are we ready to go? I know I’m hungry.” Eren nodded and followed Levi as he guided them after his parents. 

 

Papa unlocked the black Mercedes S-class, walking around and opening the passenger door for Maman. Levi mimicked him without even realizing it, opening the door for Eren, then sliding in after him. Papa slipped behind the wheel and took off for Bouley. Ten minutes later, he pulled up to the doors of the restaurant, handing the keys to the valet with a wink as they walked past. “Be careful with her, would ya?” 

 

Eren held tight to Levi’s hand as they walked into the restaurant.  _ Oh, god… There are so many people…  this is too much… I’ve never been somewhere this nice… _

 

Levi’s Eren alert was running high as he felt the boy tensing beside him. He leaned over and whispered, “Don’t worry. I’ll walk you through it all. Just follow my lead and you’ll be fine.” Eren nodded, eyes still darting around at all the well dressed people. Papa had gotten a reservation well in advance, and the host quickly seated them at their table.  Eren examined all the various pieces of his place setting as he sat at the table. 

 

He tried to listen as Levi patiently explained what each object was for. “Why are there so many…. Don’t you only need one fork? I don’t understand…” 

 

“Well, with formal settings, there is one utensil for each course.” 

 

“H-how many are there?” 

 

“Well… Technically there are six…” 

 

“Six!? Levi, I can’t eat that much…” He spoke in a panicked whisper, eyes widening at Levi’s answer. 

 

“You don’t have to eat everything, Eren. Just what you want. It’s fine, I promise.” 

 

“Wait… Why  _ technically _ ?”

 

“Well… the bread and wine is considered the first course kind of. Then there’s sorbet after the fish, but it sort of goes with the fish. But still, it's separate. Like I said though, you don’t have to work yourself up. Only eat what you want.” Eren nodded and picked at the piece of bread that Levi had set on his plate. 

 

_ This must be expensive… I need to try to eat all of it… I don’t want them to think I’m ungrateful or spoiled…  _ He looked on in wonder as the waiter brought out a few plates with various things on them. He tried a little of each appetizer, watching Levi out of the corner of his eye and copying him, not wanting to do anything out of place.  _ This is really good… I wonder if the rest will be this delicious… _  He made note that he was starting to feel full as the waiter brought out the next plate, fish and vegetables.   _ How much is left… I can’t eat much more… _ He listened to the conversation around the table as he nibbled at the food, finally finishing what was on his plate as the sorbet was brought out. His stomach argued with him as he forced down the small amount of food, panic rising as he realized there was still more to go. 

 

Levi glanced over, noticing that Eren has grown tense again.  _ Maybe he’s still worried about how formal this all is…  _ He reached across the table, wrapping his fingers around the boy’s hand, trying to reassure him.  _ You’re okay, babe. No need to stress. _ Eren shot him a weak smile before looking back down at his place. 

 

Eren’s stomach lurched as the main course was set in front of him.  _ Oh, god, no. I can’t eat anymore… This is bad… I can’t get sick; that would embarrass them and cause them trouble. I have to try… _ He took a small bite, quickly realizing that that wasn’t going to work. He had to get away from all this, his breathing starting to quicken as he tried to think of an excuse to get up. 

 

Still on alert, Levi glanced over and saw the tell tale signs of an oncoming panic attack.  _ Uh oh…  _ He set a hand on the boy’s thigh, leaning over to whisper to him. “What’s wrong, babe? Just breathe, okay?” 

 

Eren shook his head, setting the fork down carefully. “I-I don’t feel too good… C-can we go to the bathroom?” Levi nodded, excusing both of them from the table and helping Eren to the bathroom to sit down and breathe.  _ I’m such a horrible person. They’ve bought this extravagant meal and this suit and I can’t even finish the damn food.  _ His stomach threatened to return all the food he had offered it.  _ I can’t throw up… please don’t let me throw up… Not here…  _  Levi sat him on the small bench just inside of the restroom, kneeling in front of him. Before Levi even had a chance to speak or react, Eren grabbed his arms, eyes wide as he gasped for breath, struggling to speak. “B-breathe. H-help… J-just for a m-minute… H-help…”

 

Levi nodded, understanding what he was asking for. He exaggerated his own breathing, falling into a steady rhythm for the boy to copy. He brushed the stray brown hair out of his face as he placed a hand on the boy’s cheek, rubbing his thumb across it. “Come on now, inhale… exhale… Just like that… You’re good, Eren. Just like that, inhale… exhale…” Levi did the best he could to keep the worry off his face, not wanting to stress the boy out any more than he already was, but knew he was failing miserably. Eren finally started to calm, breathing relatively normally once again. “Good job, babe. Now what’s gotten you so upset?”

 

His voice was a low whisper as he tried to answer Levi. “There is way too much food… I ate too much… But I didn’t want to seem ungrateful. I don’t want to get sick here… I can’t eat anything else…”  

 

At that moment, Papa walked in. The boys had been gone for a while, and Maman was worried. He sat in a chair across from the bench, eyes warm and caring. He had heard the last of Eren’s explanation as he entered the room. “Eren, I can hardly finish all that food. No one expects you to either. Tonight was always just about us spoiling you two and the four of us spending time together and having fun. You could have turned down all the food, and we still could have had just as good of a time.”

 

“R-really? You’re sure?” 

 

Papa nodded, standing from his seat. Eren slowly stood with Levi, grateful that he kept an arm around him. His stomach had finally settled enough to move around, and they had been in the bathroom long enough already. The trio emerged from the restroom. Maman was waiting in the hall with a concerned expression. Levi quickly explained what had happened as she took in Eren’s paleness and shaky breathing. 

 

“You know what? I’m simply exhausted. What do you boys think about heading home? We can all relax on the couch or out by the pool.” That was the best thing Eren had heard all night. He was so thankful, he could have cried. Maman watched the relief flood across his face as she stepped forward and wrapped him in a hug. Levi kept a hand on the boy’s lower back as he clung to her for a few moments. 

 

After paying the check, Papa retrieved the keys from the valet and led the group to the car. Levi could tell his brat was still on edge as they sat in the darkness of the backseat. Holding him closely, he showered him with affection under the cover of night, thankful as he felt the boy relaxing in his arms. Back at the house, Levi thanked Maman, excusing the two of them so they could go to bed. He helped Eren out of his suit before undressing himself, watching the boy out of the corner of his eye as he immediately slid into the bed. When Levi was out of his formal attire, he climbed in bed next to his brat, the two curling up together. Calm finally washed over Eren as he pressed himself against Levi, still careful of his stomach, and passed out from exhaustion. 

 

That night was a repeat of the previous evening. Eren woke screaming Levi’s name, Grisha again plaguing his Levi-less dreams. Levi woke with him, holding him close as he helped the boy calm again, singing him softly back to sleep.  _ Something isn’t right… We’ve gone so long without nightmares… why now?  _ After waiting to make sure the boy was sleeping soundly, Levi allowed himself to doze. His sleep that night was restless, his mind preoccupied with worry about the cause of the sudden dreams. 

 

Sunday morning found Eren waking in an empty bed. He started to panic just as Levi slipped through the door. He was wearing white cotton crop pants, a navy blue polo, tan Sperrys, and a pair of black Ray Bans seated on the top of his head. “I’m sorry… I thought I’d be back before you woke up. I have a surprise for you, though!” He sat on the edge of the bed, leaning over and kissing the boy’s forehead. “I found some non-drowsy Dramamine in town. If you want, we can go sailing again today. The weather is perfect, and this will keep you from getting sick again.” 

 

Eren’s eyes widened at the prospect of getting to go out on the beautiful boat again. “Yes! Yes, yes, yes! I just need to take a shower and get dressed!” Levi laughed softly at the brunette’s enthusiasm, reminding him that he would have to eat breakfast before they left as well. “Yeah, yeah, food, whatever. We’ll get there later.” He bounced off to the shower, a new outfit in his arms from their shopping trip on Friday. Ten minutes later, he emerged with a dazzling smile on his face, the stress from the previous night long forgotten. “Can we just go? I’m not even hungry. I just want to get back out on the water again. That was so much fun before I got sick. Are you sure this stuff will keep that from happening again?”

 

“You need to eat something, even if it's a fucking Pop-Tart. But yes, the Dramamine should keep you from getting sick.” 

 

“Levi, I eat when I’m hungry now. It’s okay. I’m just really not hungry after all the food I ate last night. We can get lunch later. I’ll probably be hungry then.” 

 

Levi sighed, backing off; he knew Eren was right. He handed him the two small tablets and a glass of orange juice. “Here, take these now. That way, when we get out in the water, you’re good. And I’d take them pretty quick if I were you. I’ve heard they’re shit.”

 

Eren rolled his eyes, taking the pills and the drink. “Oh, come on now, they can’t be that bad.” He popped the tablets into his mouth and took a sip of the juice. His nose scrunched, and he gagged. “Bleh… That’s gross. You know what they taste like?”

 

“No clue, never had to take it.”

 

“Well, you’re lucky. Chalk. Bitter chalk that has been licked and put back.” He downed the rest of the juice, trying to wash away the taste. 

 

“That sounds terrible. I’m sorry you had to experience that.” Levi cringed at the thought of eating something that someone else had licked.  _ Blech…. Fucking disgusting… All those germs...  _ “Well, I ate something before I ran to the drugstore to get these for you. So we can go now if you’re sure you’re not hungry.” Eren nodded excitedly, ready to get going. “Well, go wait in the car, I’ll be there in just a minute. I just have to grab something really quickly.” Eren bounced out the door toward the car, Levi slipping into the kitchen and grabbing some snack bars to take with them.  _ Just in case. _

 

Eren sat in the front seat, playing with his phone as they drove to the marina. As soon as Levi parked, he jumped out and raced down to the docks. He remembered exactly which boat they were going to, and he wasn’t waiting for Levi today.  _ We’re going sailing! And I’m not going to get sick! OH, we can finish what we started! Hehe…. _

 

Levi wasn’t far behind, a canvas bag thrown over his shoulder as he walked alongside  _ Surveyor _ .  _ Well, someone is excitable. It’s nice to see him this happy. It doesn’t happen often.  _ “Are you going alone, or are you going to wait for me?” He smiled playfully as he watched Eren board the small boat. The brunette turned, a broad smile adorning his face, hair mussed from the breeze. 

 

“You’re just slow! Come on! Let’s go! You’re too small!” Levi stopped and crossed his arms, staring at him incredulously. 

 

“That’s not what it sounds like when we’re in bed, you know…. You sound quite content with my size.”  He set the bag into the boat, climbing in.

 

Eren’s cheeks tinged red at Levi’s comment. “Well… Um… That’s not what we’re talking about here. S-someone of your stature…”

 

Levi stepped forward, closing the gap between them. “Someone of my stature? Perhaps I should teach you again how much you like my  _ stature _ ,” he purred, trailing a finger down the boy’s chest, a smug smile crossing his lips as Eren turned redder than a tomato. Levi stepped away, un-tethering the boat and taking them out away from the marina. 

 

Eren, finally regaining his composure, went and sat at the side of the boat, dropping his arm down and letting his fingers trail through the water.

 

_ I don’t even think he realizes how amazing he looks when he does little things like that… _ Levi reached into the bag he had brought with them, fishing out Eren’s camera. He snapped a few pictures of the boy draped over the side. Eren looked up, hearing the shutter snap. 

 

“Hey! My camera! I didn’t know you brought it! Let me have it, I want to take pictures of you!” Eren quickly moved to the man’s side, snatching the camera out of his hands. He snapped a few of Levi as he gave him a skeptical look. 

 

“I’m nothing special to photograph. Take pictures of the ocean instead.” He zoned out, focusing on the boat when Eren turned his camera toward other subjects. 

 

No sooner had Levi stopped paying attention than Eren turned his viewfinder back toward the beautiful man at the helm.  _ God damn, he is so fucking hot like that. Like for real, drool. How did I get this lucky? _ He snuck in pictures as Levi wandered around the boat, raising the sails and getting them going on nothing but the wind. Levi returned to steering the boat and Eren opted to take some other photos of the boats and open water around them. 

 

After they had been sailing for a while, Levi had had enough of watching his beautiful brat with his camera.  _ I believe I owe him for some snarky comments…  _  He went to work lowering the sail so they would just drift for a while. Coming up behind the boy as he was looking back at the shore through his viewfinder, Levi wrapped his arms around his waist. “How about you put that thing away and play with me instead…” Levi pulled Eren toward the opening below deck. “There just so happens to be a rather comfortable nest of pillows down here, and I think we have just enough time to have a little fun. What do you say?” Eren swallowed audibly, turning toward Levi. 

 

“Pillows sound nice… fun with you sounds even better though.” Eren kissed the man gently, urging him to move below deck. 

 

“Are you sure a man of my stature can satisfy your needs?” He raised an eyebrow, still intent on paying the boy back for the short comment. 

 

“You’re more than enough to sate me, Levi. I’m sorry I called you small… I didn’t mean it…” 

 

“Are you sure you’re still feeling okay? Not hungry or anything?” He wanted the boy right now, but first he had to be sure that he wasn’t getting sick again. 

 

“I’ll be better once I’ve got you in me…” he purred, kissing along Levi’s neck. That was all he needed to know. Levi pulled him below deck, tossing him carefully onto the pile of lounge pillows. He knelt over the boy, kissing him heatedly while pulling up the edges of his shirt. They broke away for just a moment to get Eren’s shirt over his head, his viridian eyes dark with lust as he panted from the kiss. Levi tossed the shirt to the side, leaning back in to capture the boy’s swollen lips. 

 

Eren tugged at Levi’s shirt, trying to pull it off of him. He broke from the kiss, tilting his head back and baring his neck. Levi took advantage of the opening, nipping at the sensitive spot at the base of the boy’s neck, thoroughly enjoying the mewl of pleasure it elicited from the brunette beneath him. He ducked his head as Eren pulled his polo off, dropping it beside them. 

 

“Fuck, you’re so hot, Levi… I don’t even know how I got so lucky..” Eren stared in awe, tracing his fingers along Levi’s toned chest. The man interrupting his ogling when he pressed his hips against Eren’s, reminding him of his aching member. 

 

“You’re not so bad to look at yourself, kid. I love your body, every curve and mark. You’re beautiful, Eren.” Levi kissed down the boy’s chest, making a point to lovingly kiss the larger scars down his body. His deft fingers made quick work of the boy’s pants, throwing them with his shirt. He wrapped his slender fingers around Eren’s throbbing length and kissed the boy’s hip. 

 

Eren hissed, finally receiving the touch he so desperately wanted. His hips bucked, thrusting his member against Levi’s hand. “P-please, Levi…” Levi licked Eren’s tip teasingly, drawing a lusty moan out of the tanned boy. 

 

“Please what? What do you want, Eren?” He purred as he looked up through hooded eyes, tongue tracing along the boy’s slit as if to punctuate the question. 

 

“A-ahh… Please… Suck me, f-fuck me… Whatever you want… just please d-don’t tease me… I need you…” He moaned, lacing his fingers in Levi’s dark hair as he took the boy’s full length into his mouth. His breath came in needy gasps as Levi bobbed his head, licking and sucking.  _ Fuck, it's like he knows exactly what to do to make me come apart.  _

 

Levi swirled his tongue around the tip as he reached into his pocket to retrieve the condom and small tube of lube he had brought.  _ I’m so glad I planned ahead. This makes life so much easier on both of us.  _ He dropped the condom on the floor next to them, popping the top open on the lube and squeezing some onto his finger. Eren squirmed as he continued to tease just the head. 

 

“L-Levi… No t-teasing… Please..” He gasped as wet heat enveloped his entire length and a familiar pressure entered him. He arched off the pillows, head falling back with a moan. “Oh, god… Fuck… Levi..” He moaned as Levi’s fingers stretched him, feeling him searching for his spot.  _ God, I sound like a whore… How can he like this?  _ Eren covered his mouth with a hand, embarrassed by his own voice. 

 

Levi lifted his head, fingers still stretching the boy. He reached his free hand up, pulling Eren’s hand away from his mouth. “Babe… No. Let me hear you, I love your voice. You’re so sexy, and I love every little sound you make.” He withdrew his finger, making quick work of his own pants, just getting them far enough out of the way before pushing his throbbing member into Eren's tight ass. 

 

Eren gasped, hand flying to his mouth as he bit down on his thumb, a muffled moan escaping him as Levi’s length filled him. Levi paused, closing his hand around Eren’s. “Eren… Don’t, please? You’re beautiful, and sexy, and sound amazing. Please don’t be embarrassed.” He leaned in, pulling Eren’s hand from his mouth and kissing him gently. “Why are you suddenly so embarrassed to let me hear you?”

 

The boy turned his head to the side, face flushed. “I’m so loud…. I sound like a whore…” Levi pulled the boy’s face back toward him, kissing him again. 

 

“You do not sound like a whore, you sound like one sexy ass mother fucker who enjoys what his boyfriend is doing to him. There is nothing wrong with that. Now, let me pleasure you, let me hear you falling apart at my touch.” He nipped and sucked at the boy’s neck as he slowly moved his hips. Eren bit his lip as Levi pulled out of him, groaning as he thrust back in, falling into a consistent rhythm. The boy still struggled to keep his voice down, but he didn’t fight it as much as he had been. Levi closed his hand around the boy’s length, stroking him in time with his thrusts. “Eren… We’re in the middle of the ocean. You could scream, and no one but me would even know. Honestly, I would love that. I love it when I make you scream. Please, don’t hold yourself back…” 

 

As Levi thrust into him, he finally hit the spot he’d been looking for. Eren’s vision blurred as he cried out, forgetting why he had been trying to stay quiet. “F-fuck… Levi… There, right there…” 

 

Levi smirked as he repeated the motion.  _ Now, that’s more like it…  _ “Shit, Eren, I fucking love hearing you… You’re so fucking tight, and you just take all of me… I fucking love you.” He felt the knot in his gut tightening as he neared his limit.  _ Fucking hell… I forgot the damn condom… I’m sorry, Eren.  _

 

“L-Levi... I’m not gonna last much longer…” He moaned beneath Levi, panting as he felt his release nearing. 

 

Levi thrust harder, pumping the brunette’s length as he brought him to his release, Eren screaming his name, shaking as Levi rode out his own orgasm. Pulling out, he laid beside the boy, catching his breath. He traced his fingers along Eren’s chest, pressing kisses into the boy’s arm. “Thank you… You sound so amazing… I love you, Eren.”

 

Once they caught their breath, Levi found a towel and helped Eren clean up. Once the boys were dressed, they went back above deck, Levi taking a quick inventory of their surroundings.  _ Good, we didn’t drift too far. I still know where we are.  _ He glared at a jet skiier as they zipped past the boat, bracing himself for the inevitable wake that would come. He spun around when he heard a thud and Eren whimper behind him. He found Eren sprawled on the deck, wincing as he rubbed his ass. He knelt by the boy, helping him back to his feet. “Are you okay?”  _ He’s probably already a little sore. Falling on his ass won’t help that.  _

 

“Actually… Now that you ask, I don’t feel as good as I did before.” Concern filled Levi’s face as he worried about his brat. “I’m starving… We don’t have any food on here, do we?” 

 

Levi couldn’t help but laugh as relief filled him. “Well actually, I do.” He helped Eren to one of the benches along the side of the boat before retrieving the snack bars from his bag. He handed them to Eren before turning his attention back to the sails, working to get them back up. Once he had them sailing again, he turned his attention back to the boy. All four bars were long gone. “Are you better? You made quick work of those.”

 

“Yeah, I guess. I’m still starving though… Do you have anything else?” 

 

_ Good lord. Well, at least he’s hungry. I can’t complain.  _ “No, I’m sorry, that was it. We can just go back and get lunch. Your medicine will be wearing off soon anyway. I’d rather be on land before that happens. I’m sure you agree?” Eren nodded, picking his camera back up as he continued to take pictures of everything he could think of while Levi brought them back to shore. 

 

Levi stopped at a small cafe on the way home. Eren brought in his camera, excitedly showing off all the pictures he had taken to Levi. When their food came, Eren quickly emptied his plate. Levi raised an eyebrow at the empty plate. “Do you want more?” 

 

“Can I? I’m still kinda hungry…” 

 

_ Can he fucking have more? Yes. Christ. He thinks he has to ask for food?  _ “Of course you can. Order whatever you want.” Levi motioned for the waitress, just happy that his brat was eating. After Eren ate his fill, the two went back to the house. 

 

Maman greeted them at the door. “You’re back early. How was the boat?” 

 

Eren blushed as he shuffled nervously. “It was amazing. It was much better without me getting sick.” 

 

Levi stepped in to change the subject, noting Eren’s unease. “Oh, Maman. I was wanting to make dinner for everyone tonight since I haven’t really helped much since we got here. Eren took a bunch of pictures out on  _ Surveyor _ . How about you two go sit down and he can show them to you?”

 

“Oh, that would be fabulous! I always love your cooking, Levi.” Maman held her hand out to the boy, leading him to the living room when he took her outstretched hand. “Eren, let’s see those pictures of yours!”

 

Eren curled up on the couch next to Maman and started to show off all of his pictures as Levi made dinner for everyone. Eren made notes of the photos that Maman had loved, planning to print them and put them in an album for her when they got back home. 

 

Papa appeared as Levi was putting dinner on the table. “Damn, that smells good. What has my lovely wife made for dinner today?” He winked at Eren as he wrapped his arms around Levi’s waist with much exaggeration.

 

Levi rolled his eyes and sighed at his father’s antics. “Really, Papa? You’re too old for this. I’m too old for this.”

 

Papa chuckled as he feigned hurt at the age comment. “Well, regardless of our ages, Eren seems to be enjoying my antics.” Levi glanced over at his brat as he pulled out of his father’s arms. The brunette was laughing as he wiped tears from the corners of his eyes. Smiling softly, he decided that he would put up with all of his father’s craziness if it made the love of his life laugh like that. 

 

Eren paused as he made his way to the table. “Oh! You guys go ahead. I need to get something from our room!” Eren raced upstairs, retrieving the two gifts they had purchased earlier in their trip.  _ Thank god the bags the shops used already look like gift wrap.  _ Eren carefully made his way down the stairs, making sure not to drop the vase. He set the gifts in front of their respective recipients. He grinned excitedly as Maman and Papa each gave him slightly confused looks. “So… I wanted to get something for you both because… You had no idea who I was, and you invited me into your home and treated me like I was your own from the moment I stepped through the door… You never questioned anything I did, even if I was causing you trouble… You’ve been so nice, and… Well…” Eren’s words caught in his throat as he teared up. “It’s felt like I actually have a family again… I didn’t realize how much I missed that… So… I just wanted to say thank you… And try to give you something in return…” 

  
Maman was up in an instant, pulling the boy into a hug. “Oh, my goodness! Eren, you’re such a sweet and beautiful boy. You didn’t have to get us anything. We would love you just the same, and you’ll always have a family here. We’re so glad that you came into our lives, and I can’t imagine anyone better.” 

 

Levi smiled softly at the exchange, proud of how far Eren had come and thankful for his family welcoming him in. He quickly wiped away a stray tear that threatened to fall, forcing his emotions under control.  _ I think my parents made more progress in a few days than I did in weeks. I’m just thankful that he has good parental support now. That will make all the difference in the world. _

 

Eren smiled as he hiccuped, forcing back his tears. “Well, go ahead and open them!”  He beamed with happiness as he watched them open their gifts. Maman gasped and complimented how beautiful the vase was, sharing exactly where she planned to put it. 

 

Papa looked up in surprise as he held the knife in his hands. “This is beautiful, Eren. How did you know I collected these? And this inscription is perfect. Did Levi help with this?”

 

“Well, he told me that you collected knives, I did the rest though.”

 

“He didn’t translate?” 

 

“He helped a little. I wasn’t entirely sure on the translation. I’m a French Lit student, so I’m still learning, but I know enough to have a decent conversation if I’m ever lost in France.”  He rubbed the back of his neck as he chuckled nervously. 

 

“That’s impressive, Eren. Not many young people enjoy French enough to take the time to learn it. If you ever need any help, and Levi is being too much of a prick, just give me a call. I’d love to help you anytime.” He smiled, his warm laughter filling the air as Levi shot him a disapproving glare. 

 

“Anyway,” Levi interjected, “dinner's getting cold here. Personally, I’d like to eat before that happens.” The whole table nodded in agreement and dug in, comments abounding as they finished dinner. 

 

“Delicious as always, dear.” Maman patted Levi on the back as she took her empty plate to the kitchen. Papa agreed as he followed suit. 

 

“Eren, what did you think?” Levi asked as he glanced at the boy’s empty plate.

 

“It was really good. You already know I love all your cooking though.” He smiled at the man, fidgeting in his seat. “Um… but… Is there any more? I’m still kinda hungry…” 

 

“Of course there is. I always make extra.” Levi took Eren’s plate and filled it again, returning to the table with Eren’s food and a mug of tea for himself. As Eren finished his second helping, Maman and Papa made a point to share their contact information with him, just in case he ever needed to get a hold of either of them. 

 

Levi excused both of them when he noticed Eren yawning. They wished Maman and Papa goodnight and headed for bed. Eren curled into Levi as they laid in bed, feeling like all was well with the world. 

 

“Levi, I love your parents… Can we come back and visit them again sometime? I don’t mind the plane if we get to see them.” Eren lazily ran his fingers along Levi’s chest as he spoke, enjoying the man’s warmth. 

 

“Of course. We should come back either in the fall or winter. The trees are beautiful when they start to change. And the snow is amazing in winter. But we can come back whenever you want. Just say the word.” Levi kissed the top of the boy’s head as they both started to doze off. 

 

Eren was happy to finally be home. As much as he loved Levi’s parents’, there was just a comfort that came with home. He and Levi had gotten a little heated in the elevator on the way up to the apartment; now he was eager to get him into bed.  _ What is it about elevators anyway? _ Levi fumbled with the door as he pinned Eren against it while he tried to make his key work, kissing him hungrily. 

 

The two stumbled into the apartment, trying to not let go of each other. Levi grabbed Eren’s hand, leading him to the bedroom. He pushed the boy down onto the bed, moving to climb onto him when a voice cut through the dark room. “You two don’t fucking learn, do you? Still fucking like disgusting whores. What a shame. You,” He pointed at Levi, “could do so much better than that piece of shit. Not that you’ll have the chance now, though.” 

 

Levi spun around, putting his arms up to shield Eren. “Eren. Closet. Now. Don’t come out until I come and get you.” Eren hesitated, not wanting to leave Levi alone. “NOW!” He jumped at Levi’s raised voice, scrambling off the bed and bolting to the closet. 

 

He hid in the back corner, listening to the fight outside. He shook as the room fell silent. Quietly, he slipped back out, trying to see what had happened. He screamed as his eyes fell on Levi’s lifeless body on the floor, Grisha standing over him with a dripping red blade. “NO! LEVI!” He lunged for the man, no longer caring about his own safety. He felt a sharp kick to the ribs just as he reached Levi, the force knocking him onto his back. Before he had a chance to move, Grisha was on top of him, knife positioned at his heart. 

 

“You little piece of shit. Do you have any idea how much trouble you’ve caused me? No matter, you’ll be out of my hair soon enough.” He sneered as he plunged the knife into Eren’s chest, laughing as the boy choked on his own blood as the life drained out of him. 

 

Eren bolted up, a scream tearing from his lips as he clutched at his chest. Tears flooded down his face as he frantically turned, searching for Levi through his blurred vision. Panic overtook him as he found nothing but empty sheets. He struggled to breathe, tears streaming down his face. 

 

Levi froze on the steps as he heard Eren scream.  _ Oh god, not another one. That doesn’t sound like a normal one either. Why did I fucking leave? I should have just gotten a drink out of the bathroom sink. God dammit! _ His thoughts raced as he took the steps two at a time, bolting back to the room. He found Eren doubled over in bed, clutching at his chest as tears fell relentlessly. He could barely breathe as Levi hurried through the door. “Eren! Eren, you’re okay, I’m right here, Shhh, just breathe, I’m here.” 

 

Eren’s head snapped up, his eyes widening as soon as Levi was in view. He lunged toward the man, Levi having to race to the bedside to keep him from falling on the floor. Eren clung to him, gasping, choking on his sobs. “W-why? W-why c-can’t he l-leave us a-alone?” 

 

Levi held him tightly, rubbing his back. “Shhh…. Eren, you’re fine.. You’re safe…” Levi hummed softly, knowing that it had helped calm the boy in the past, mixing music with his calm mutterings. Eventually, the boy in his arms regained the ability to breathe normally. Levi cautiously inquired about the dream, concern rising.  _ This isn’t normal. He’s been fine until the last three nights… _

_   
_ “D-dad was waiting in your apartment when we got back… he was h-hiding in the b-bathroom… H-he stabbed you… t-then he s-sta…” The words caught in his throat as his hand clutched at his heart, still feeling the knife as it plunged into him. Strangled sobs wracked his body all over again as he clung to Levi. 

  
Levi rocked him on the bed, singing to him softly as he tried to calm him back down. The remainder of the night found neither of them sleep as Eren sobbed on and off for hours. Levi stayed up comforting him. Eren drifted in and out of consciousness, each time jumping awake as soon as he had fallen asleep.  _ Thank god we’re going home tomorrow… maybe familiar surroundings will make this all go away…  _ after a few hours, he laid both of them down, holding Eren close, trying to keep him calm long after the sun started to peek through the windows. 


	24. Don't Blink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone still following the story! So excited for this chapter! 
> 
> Keep on loving the boys! They'll need it this time!

Several hours after the sun rose, the boys were still in bed. Levi didn’t want to even try to get up until Eren was ready to move. Finally, the brunette slipped out of bed and went to the bathroom. Levi climbed out of bed as well, stretching his tired limbs before following Eren and starting the shower for the both of them. He helped Eren shower, then packed their things while he let the boy get ready for the day. Once he had everything together, they both headed downstairs. 

 

Maman and Papa looked on with concern as the pair came into the kitchen. They had heard Eren last night and knew that it had been a long night for the pair. Eren sat at the table and rested his head on his arms. Maman glanced over at Levi, motioning him around the corner. “What happened? I heard him last night. I accidentally overheard some of your conversation when I came to check on you both after I heard him screaming.” 

 

Levi had moved before he even realized what he was doing. He looped his arms around his mother’s waist and hugged her tight. “Maman… I don’t know how to help him… He’s having nightmares about his asshole dad… He’s dreamed three nights in a row about that fucker coming and killing him, and I was gone. Or like last night… Last night he dreamt that he was waiting in my apartment when we got home from here… he said the asshole stabbed both of us… Maman, what if it's not just dreams? What if there’s something to this?” 

 

Maman kissed the top of his head as she stroked his hair, returning his embrace. “If there is something to it, then I know you’ll be prepared. I saw the gun you’ve been keeping in your waistband this whole time. You’re not a stupid man, Levi. You know how to protect yourself, and I also know that you’re not afraid to bring a guilty man down. Do I condone it? No, I don’t. But you do whatever the fuck you have to do to keep yourself and that beautiful boy over there safe and sound. Do you hear me?”

 

Levi nodded, squeezing her once more before backing away. “I will… I swore that I wouldn’t let him touch Eren again… I meant it…” 

 

Maman brushed her fingers along Levi’s cheek, smiling softly. “I know you did, dear. You’ll be fine. Just remember…. Don’t pull the trigger unless it is pure self defense. Don’t forget that.”

 

He nodded again before going back to Eren. “Hey, babe, we need to eat something before we go, okay?” He laid his hand on top of the boy’s, trying to get him to look up. 

 

Eren shook his head, brushing Levi’s hand away. “I’m not hungry… I couldn’t eat anything right now even if I was…” 

 

Maman moved in, coaxing Levi out of the way. “Go take care of yourself now. I’ve got him.” She whispered. She sat beside Eren and tried to talk him into eating something, even if it was small. He continued shaking his head but moved from the table to her shoulder. 

 

“I can’t… It won’t stay down. I’m too anxious right now… I’ll try to eat something later… like when we get home…” He glanced across the table at Levi eating a bowl of cereal. “I promise… I’ll try to eat later. Just not now.” Levi gave a small nod, letting Eren know he had heard him. Maman sighed as she rubbed the boy’s back, not wanting to push him any farther. 

 

The group shifted to the living room, Eren curling up with his head against Maman’s shoulder, enjoying what little time he had left with her. He registered Levi and Papa talking, but it was all white noise to him. He was brought back to the moment when Levi stood from his chair, asking if Eren was ready to go. “Oh… Is it already time?” 

 

“Well… It’s already 12:30… If we don’t go now, we’re going to make the pilot quite the frustrated individual. It may be a private jet, but he’s got other things to do than wait on us.” 

 

“Oh… well… We should go then… I’m sorry we’re keeping him waiting…” 

 

Levi fought the intense urge to facepalm. “Babe… It’s his job to fly the jet. He has plans to meet us at one. As long as we’re there then, he’s not waiting on us, and there is no reason for you to apologize. Honestly, there’s never any reason for you to apologize.” He held a hand out to the boy as Eren dragged himself off the couch. The boy took his hand, letting Levi lead him to the door as Maman and Papa followed behind. 

 

“Now, don’t be a stranger. I fully expect you to come visit again.” Papa smiled warmly, offering a hug to Eren. The brunette hesitated for a moment before stepping forward into the larger man’s arms, burying his face in Papa’s broad chest. 

 

_ Why couldn’t my dad be like this…. Such strong arms… He feels so safe…  _ Levi smiled at the exchange, relieved that Eren was finally this comfortable with Papa. 

 

“Okay, don’t forget about this old lady, now. I get a hug too, you know!” Maman chuckled as she pulled Eren into a hug. “Don’t forget, you have both of our numbers. If you ever need anything, no matter the time, call.” She smiled, pressing a soft kiss to the boy’s forehead. 

 

Levi hugged both of his parents, thanking them for the visit and promising they’d be back soon. Papa helped the boys carry their bags out to the car, giving each of them another hug before they slid into the backseat. He leaned down, peering into the car, locking eyes with Levi. “You take care of him. Call me if you need me. Follow your gut. You know what to do.” Levi nodded tersely, thanking him as Papa shut the door. He pulled Eren against him, stroking the boy’s hair as they drove to the airfield. 

 

Once they boarded the plane, Eren immediately put in his headphones, body tense. Levi held his hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb. As soon as they were airborne, Levi coaxed Eren to lay down on his lap. The boy laid with his face against Levi’s stomach, blocking out everything. Levi ran his fingers through the soft brown hair, being extra attentive anytime the plane shifted or hit turbulence. The first time the plane dropped from pressure change, Eren shot up, fear filling his eyes. Levi quickly calmed him. “Shh, it's okay, just a little turbulence. Listen, I know how to fly this thing. I’ll know the second something is wrong. You’re safe. So unless I get worried, you have nothing to be worried about.” 

 

Eren relaxed at his words, sinking back into the man’s lap.  _ This isn’t so bad when I can’t see or hear anything, and Levi is really warm. His touch is so calming.  _ Eren dozed off, Levi’s warmth and scent surrounding him. 

 

When they landed, Levi carefully woke Eren up, feeling guilty that he had to but knowing there wasn’t another option right now. He helped a groggy Eren down the steps of the plane and retrieved their bags before the two went off to find the car. “So, how are you feeling? Did that sleep help at all? Do you think you could eat something?” 

 

Eren’s stomach turned at the thought of food, but he knew Levi was just trying to look out for him. “I do feel a little better… I can try to eat, but I can’t promise that it will end well…”  Levi couldn't help but be worried. Eren’s eating habits had become nearly normal. When he stopped eating, that was almost always a big red flag. 

 

The drive back was quiet for the most part. Levi had his classical music playing softly over the stereo. Eren’s mood lifted considerably as they walked into the apartment building. As they got on the elevator, Eren decided that he wanted Levi’s attention. He stepped in front of the smaller man, leaning in and kissing him softly. “I’m so happy to be going home… Think of how much fun we can have all over our apartment now that we’re alone again…” Levi quickly forgot about food, now very aware of how close Eren’s body was to his own. 

 

“Eren….? Are you sure you’re not still feeling sick?” 

 

Eren pressed kisses along his neck, nibbling gently on his ear. “Oh, I’m sick; sick of not touching you. I missed home.” 

 

Levi was relieved that Eren was returning to normal now that they were home.  _ Maybe I was overthinking this… Maybe I was right. Those nightmares were just because he wasn’t home. Now that he’s back in a familiar environment, he's okay… _ Still, something in the pit of his stomach kept the man on high alert, the gun on his back radiating a phantom heat, reminding him of the possible danger that could be awaiting them. 

 

He pressed the thoughts down as he returned the kiss, both breaking away as the doors slid open. Their cheeks were flushed as they panted softly, catching their breath. Eren grabbed Levi’s hand, pulling him toward the apartment.  _ Wait.. this is familiar… Dream. Right. Well… I’ll just do everything differently, and it’ll be good.  _ Eren pressed Levi against the door, the two locked in a heated embrace as Eren pulled out his own key, getting the door unlocked. Levi shifted, opening the door and backing in, pulling Eren by the waist as he went. He started to pull the boy toward their bedroom when Eren stopped him.  _ Oh, hell no. Not that way.  _ Eren shook his head, pulling Levi by the front of his jeans. “Not this time. I have something better in mind…” Eren smirked as Levi tilted his head, raising an eyebrow at the boy. He backed toward the couch, coaxing Levi along with him. He let himself fall back onto the couch as the backs of his knees hit the edge, a final tug on Levi’s pants as he went.  _ Come on, babe. Get on me here.  _

 

Levi licked his lips seductively as he crawled on top of Eren, his lingering worry dulling the farther into this they got. He leaned down, capturing the boy’s lips with his own as he twisted his fingers in Eren’s hair. 

 

“You sick fucks.”

 

Eren froze under Levi, whispering as his eyes grew wide. “Dad…” 

  
It took Levi all of three seconds to get to his feet, standing in front of Eren, hand already wrapped around his gun behind his back. He quickly scanned the apartment, eyes falling on the menacing figure leaning against his kitchen counter. He kept his tone calm and even, the negotiator in him surfacing. “Eren, go to the bedroom. Now. Shut the door and lock it. Don’t come out until I tell you to.” 

 

Eren's eyes darted from Grisha to Levi, then back to Grisha.  _ Fuck no, I’m not leaving him. I’m not leaving him to die again!  _ “Levi… I’m not leaving…” He watched Levi’s back tense at his response. 

 

_ Please, don’t be so calm… It’s unnerving coming from you… I need to be able to focus, and I can’t do that when I’m protecting you… _ “Please, just go. Now. I’ll be fine.” 

 

“But…”  _ What does he have his hand around? Wait… A gun? He fucking had a gun this whole damn time?  _

 

The veins in Levi’s forearm bulged as his grip on the gun tightened. “Eren! Now! Please…” Eren flinched at Levi’s sudden change in tone, the mix of fear, frustration, and desperation a heady mix, leaving him no room to question him any further.

 

Eren quickly made his way around the backside of the couch, keeping Levi between him and the kitchen at all times. He shut the door so that it sounded like he had locked it before cracking it open again quietly.  _ I’ll be damned if I just sit here and let him die again.  _ He watched the scene before him unfold, ready to jump to Levi’s aid the second something went wrong. 

 

As soon he heard the lock catch on the door, Levi pulled out the sig and took aim. “Now, you have ten seconds to get out of my fucking apartment and away from Eren before that is no longer an option for you.” He pulled the hammer back with a sharp click to punctuate his statement. 

 

“That’s a good look for a sick fag like you. Do it then.”  _ You’ve pulled that trigger before. I can see it in your eyes.  _

 

“I will if I have to. Now, get the fuck out of my apartment.” His eyes narrowed as he motioned toward the door with the barrel of the gun.  _ I’ve done it before for others who deserved it. It wouldn’t be hard to do the same with you.  _ “Now, you sorry piece of shit.”  _ Last. Fucking. Chance. Get out. Just give me a reason… I want nothing more than to shoot you. _

 

Grisha smirked and put his hands in the air. “Fine. I can see you mean business.” He started toward the door, Levi’s aim never leaving his chest. He made a motion to open the door, suddenly turning and lunging at Levi, a knife he’d hidden now in his hand. In one swift motion, Grisha knocked the gun out of Levi’s hands, kicking his feet out from under him as he caught the man by his hair, pressing the sharpened knife into his pale neck. 

 

The second the gun left Levi’s hands, Eren bolted out of the room, making a break for the discarded weapon.  _ This is not happening. I’ve watched you kill him twice. I’m not doing it again. This ends now.  _ His hands trembled as he took aim. “Get your fucking hands off of Levi.” His voice wavered as the barrel shook.  _ What am I even thinking… I’ve never shot a gun… What if I hit Levi? Oh god… _

 

“You can’t shoot me, you weak little shit.” Grisha chuckled darkly. “You were worthless before, and you’re worthless now. Just shut up and watch me kill your beloved little gay midget. Then I’ll take care of you. You’ve caused me enough problems to last a lifetime.”

 

_ Midget I can handle, but Eren isn’t worthless. You’re fucking dead. That’s it, no more.  _ Levi took advantage of Grisha’s momentary distraction, breaking free from his hold and knocking the knife away from his neck. Levi ran his fingers along his neck, checking to make sure the cut he’d just given himself wasn’t too serious as he rushed to Eren’s side, watching him starting to shut down. 

 

_ Oh god… Blood… Dad actually got him… I couldn’t do anything … Levi’s going to die… I’m going to die… No, no, no, no…  _ his hands fell as Levi pulled the gun from his grasp. He jumped, a small yelp escaping his lips as Levi quickly fired two expertly placed rounds directly into Grisha’s heart.  _ Gone… He’s gone… Levi… Is Levi okay…?  _ Eren tried to focus on Levi, but his eyes froze on the limp body on the floor, blood pooling around it. His lungs no longer remembered how to expand, only contract. He struggled against his own body, trying to breathe, stumbling back until he hit the wall and sinking to the floor. 

 

Levi tucked the gun back in his waistband, moving to make sure Grisha was down for the count before he heard a soft thud behind him. Immediately turning all of his attention to Eren, he found the boy curling in on himself on the floor, struggling to breathe. Quickly moving to his side, he took the boy’s face between his hands. “Eren… Eren look at me. Breathe with me, babe.” He exaggerated his breathing as he had done so many times before, trying to help calm the boy. He watched as Eren’s eyes started to dim. “Don’t you pass out on me, Eren! Breathe, you can do this. Inhale, exhale. Come on, babe, stay with me.” 

 

Eren struggled to copy Levi, darkness creeping in from the edges of his field of vision.  _ I can’t sleep… Levi needs me to stay awake… I have to make sure Levi is okay… He was bleeding... Breathe, dammit… Work…  _ Eren managed to stay awake. Several long minutes passed before he was able to breathe without Levi’s coaching. 

 

_ Okay… we’re good for a few minutes. I’ve got to call the police now before he falls back into another attack.  _ After placing the call, he turned his attention back to Eren, keeping him calm until the police arrived. They immediately separated the two, taking Eren to another room in the apartment. Levi fought to keep his calm as he watched Eren struggle as they separated them.  _ These fuckers... I can’t even explain to him what’s happening. They’re too damn worried about us mixing our stories. I’m so sorry, Eren…  _ It took the detectives forever to take their statements, checking and rechecking their stories. Levi struggled to concentrate on the questions at hand, his mind only on Eren. His worry only increased after he heard one of the officers complaining about how ‘the kid can’t focus.’ Levi glanced toward the door, starting to shift, but was stopped by a firm hand on his shoulder. 

 

Eventually, an officer returned with information for the detectives. The building security cameras had caught Grisha berating the door man, the time stamp indicating that he had arrived long before Eren and Levi. Additional footage showed the two of them arriving back five hours after Grisha had arrived. The footage paired with the prior history of violence at Eren’s apartment all very clearly added up to self-defense. Hours later, the couple was finally alone in the quiet apartment. The moment the door had shut behind the police, Levi locked it and rushed to the bedroom, finding Eren sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor. “Eren?” He prompted gently but received no response. 

 

_ God… babe… I’m so sorry.  _ Eren didn’t move, eyes never leaving the floor. The brunette was completely drained, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Levi kissed the top of the boy’s head as he pulled his shirt off. Laying him back on the bed, he removed his pants as well. Retrieving pajamas from the dresser, he returned to Eren, struggling, but finally getting them on the boy. Pulling back the blankets, he laid down behind the brunette, pulling him close. “Just sleep, babe… you’ll feel better after some rest…” It bothered him that Eren was unresponsive, but he understood that he might not be either if he had just watched his father get shot.  _ As much as I’d like to fall asleep with you… I’ve got to clean up the floor… I can’t leave that. I’ll never be able to sleep knowing that's there. And I can’t even imagine how Eren would react if he walked in on that bloodstained floor in the morning…  _

 

As soon as Eren passed out, Levi slipped out of bed and spent the remainder of the night scrubbing every inch of the apartment that Grisha could have touched. It took him hours to get all the blood off of the floor. Thinking he had finally gotten all of it, he stood, wincing as his hands, arms, knees, and back ached. As he was turning to go back to the bedroom, he caught sight of something on the corner of the counter. Picking up a worn book and finding a faint blood spatter across the cover, his anger toward Grisha rose.  _ I swear, there is not enough torture in hell to give that man - no, that monster - what he deserves… Every single thing he’s done to Eren, all the pain, heartache, and self hatred he’s given him... FUCK. I wish I could bring him back and kill him again! Slowly!  _ He threw the book as hard as he could across the kitchen, slamming it against the cabinet with an echoing thud as it fell to the floor.  _ Oh, shit…. I hope that didn’t wake him… _ Looking into the room, he found that Eren hadn’t moved an inch since Levi had left the bed. Sighing with relief, Levi made his way back to the book, retrieving it from the floor and dropping it into the trash.  _ I’ll buy him another one. He won’t want that anyway.  _  Finally satisfied with the state of the apartment, Levi crawled back into bed as the sun was rising. He wrapped himself around the boy, quickly falling into an exhausted sleep. 

 

Less than an hour later, Eren woke, feeling more well-rested than he had in what seemed like ages.  _ Wow… I don’t feel so.. Heavy? It doesn’t feel like a bag of bricks is hanging around my neck anymore… _ Reaching a hand up to his cheek, he found tears there. He sniffled, rubbing the moisture from his face.  _ I’m so relieved… I never have to be afraid of him again… He’s finally gone… I’m safe…  _

 

Levi woke, feeling Eren moving against his chest. Glancing at the clock, he groaned internally when he saw that it was only seven. He glanced down, kissing the top of the boy’s head as he tightened his arms around him. “What can I do for you? What do you need?”  _ Oh _ ,  _ hey Eren, I know we just shot your dad in my apartment last night and then had to talk about it for hours, and I know you panicked pretty hard and then were separated from me until you were pretty much unresponsive, but what’s wrong, babe? Yeah, that would go over real smooth. _ He rolled his eyes at himself, thankful that he had had enough forethought not to ask what was wrong. 

 

Eren shook his head, draping an arm over Levi’s waist. “Nothing. I can honestly say that nothing is wrong. I’m so relieved, Levi… I feel light… it's so weird. I didn’t even realize the weight that I felt before.” Eren chuckled softly as Levi’s stomach growled. “So… food maybe? You sound starving.” 

 

_ Are you fucking kidding me? He hasn’t eaten in….. at least 32 hours, and he thinks I’m starving? Seriously?  _ Levi jumped out of bed, wobbling a tiny bit as his lack of sleep caught up with him.  _ Not now, food for Eren first.  _ “Come on, kiddo. Let's get some food. I at least ate something yesterday. You haven’t eaten since Sunday night.” 

 

Eren was hungry enough that he wasn’t going to argue anyway. He slid off the bed, following Levi.  _ He is never unsteady on his feet… What was up with that? Oh shit, I’m really fucking hungry…  _ “Hey… Levi? Is there something small I can eat while you’re cooking? I’m fucking starving….” Levi glanced back at him in shock before nodding and handing the brunette a pack of Pop-Tarts out of the cabinet. He quickly finished off the snack, watching Levi as he made some sort of egg scramble. Remembering Levi’s stumble earlier, he took a quick inventory of the slender man.  _ He’s droopy; normally, his posture is perfect. And he’s got dark circles under his eyes… He hasn’t slept… But why?  _ Eren glanced around the apartment, noticing for the first time that it was spotless. If he hadn’t seen the dead body lying on the floor last night, then he never would have known there had been blood everywhere.   _ It’s spotless… the apartment looks like it always does… He stayed up all night cleaning… _ He continued to monitor Levi, taking note when he dropped the spatula he was using, then when the man struggled to keep his eyes open while eating breakfast.  _ Okay, that’s enough. Bedtime for Levi.  _ Eren quickly took care of the dishes, then guided the quickly fading Levi back to bed, grabbing his laptop on the way. “Okay, babe. We’re going back to bed, and you’re going to sleep.” 

 

“No, Eren, I’m fine. What do you want to do?” Eren rolled his eyes, pushing Levi back onto the bed with a single finger. “I want you to lay your ass down and go to sleep. You didn’t sleep all night, cleaned the entire fucking apartment, then made breakfast. You’re going to sleep, and I’m going to sit here and make sure that you do.” Eren climbed onto the bed, situating the laptop in front of him and turning on anime before leaning against the headboard and coaxing Levi to lay his head on the boy’s lap. He played with the soft black hair until the man fell asleep. Levi woke several times through the morning and into the afternoon, each time Eren informing him that he had not slept long enough. Levi tried to argue every time, but each time, Eren would start running his fingers through the silky black hair, and the argument would be lost as Levi faded back out of consciousness. 

 

Levi woke again around three, Eren finally letting him stay awake, partially because the boy was once again starving.  _ I wonder if it’s normal to be this hungry…  _ “Levi?” He continued when the man looked up at him from his lap. “I’m really hungry again… Is that normal?” 

 

Levi couldn’t help but laugh at the boy’s question. “Well, babe, usually guys are bottomless pits after starting high school. So yes, it’s normal for you to be starving all the time. I’m more worried when you’re not hungry, to be honest. It’s a huge relief that you’re actually hungry so often now.” He sat up, careful not to move too fast. He didn’t want to get light headed after so much sleep. “Come on, I’ll make you food. How do grilled chicken paninis sound?”

 

“Uhhh…. Sure? What the fuck is that?” 

 

Levi stared at him for a moment, then remembered that not everyone had had the culinary upbringing that he had. “A panini is a hot, grilled sandwich. This particular one is made with grilled chicken, basil pesto, and mozzarella cheese with fresh basil leaves too. It’s really good. Promise.”

 

“Oh… That does sound good.” Eren manned the panini press while Levi assembled the sandwiches and gave him specific instructions on when to take them off. Once they had four sandwiches, Levi unplugged the press, cut them all in half, and took the whole plate to the table. Levi nibbled on a half as he watched Eren finish off the rest of the plate. 

 

_ Well then. Okay. I’m glad I wasn’t starving. That was what…. Three and a half sandwiches? Well, at least he has an appetite. I’ll never complain about that.  _ The couple moved to the couch, talking for a while with the TV on in the background. Around six, Levi decided enough was enough and he needed a shower. “Will you be okay for like… ten minutes so I can go take a shower?” 

 

“Of course. I’ll just sit here and watch whatever’s on. Go ahead.” Levi nodded, rushing off to the bathroom. After a few minutes, Eren glanced over to the spot where Grisha had been laying the night before.  _ I can’t believe he’s actually gone… Am I happy? Or sad that I just lost my father…? I don’t even know anymore….  _ He glanced to the cabinet above the sink where he knew Levi kept the alcohol.  _ A drink might be nice… That loosened me up the last two times…  _  He peeked around the edge of the couch. He could still hear the water running in the bathroom.  _ I’ve got a minute; just a quick drink… I think Levi only has liquor anyway, so that’s all I need… _ He got up from the couch. Sneaking over to the kitchen, he opened the cabinet door and backed up so he could see what was there.  _ Vodka, tequila, whisky, bourbon, scotch... shit, Levi. Do you have enough?  _ Eren rolled up onto his toes, reaching for the nearest bottle. 

 

“Just because you’re tall enough doesn’t mean you should.” Levi watched Eren reaching for the liquor from the edge of the couch.  _ Don’t fix things with that, babe… You don’t want to be your father… I know this is probably how you saw him deal with things, but… please, don’t.  _

 

“I was just -”

 

Levi walked over, reaching up and grasping Eren’s wrist, pulling his arm back down and kissing the back of his hand. “You don’t need it, trust me. And beyond that, you’re underage. If that needs to be the reason that I’m stopping you, I’m fine with that. Sorry, Eren, but you have to be 21 to drink, and you’ve got about… Wait. When’s your birthday again? I never thought to ask..”

 

Eren turned to face Levi, pulling his arm to his chest. “It’s okay, I’ve never really done anything for it anyway. It’s March 30th.” 

 

“Wait… what? Why didn’t you tell me! I would have done something…. I’d known you for over two weeks then… We were practically spending every day together already as it was.”  

 

“Sorry… I didn’t think it was relevant… I’ve never celebrated it… or at least I haven’t in six years.” He sighed and dropped his head to Levi’s shoulders, hands dangling between them. Levi took the boy’s hands, wrapping them around his waist, then wrapping his own arms around the boy, rubbing his back.

 

“Well, we’re going to be celebrating it every year from here on out. So get ready.” 

 

“When’s your birthday?” Eren’s voice was muffled as he talked into Levi’s shoulder. 

 

“Christmas, actually. It's ridiculous. And I don’t care for celebrating it. At all.” 

 

“Well, we’re celebrating it from here on out. So suck it up.” Eren snorted, thinking he was funny for throwing Levi’s words back at him. 

 

“Ugh. Whatever floats your boat, babe. I couldn’t care less about mine, though.” 

 

“Hey, Levi?” 

 

“Hm? What is it, Eren?”

 

“You work better than alcohol. Just so you know.” Eren sighed as his body relaxed more the longer he was in Levi’s arms. “Can we just… can we stay like this for a minute… Please?” 

 

“Whatever you want, Eren. I’m here for you. No matter what it is.” Levi turned his head, kissing the boy’s cheek as he continued to rub circles into his back. 

 

Eren’s face flushed as his stomach growled. “Actually… Can we eat…? I’m really hungry…. Sorry…”

 

_ Wait… what? Seriously? We just ate like… three hours ago… Is he really hungry again?  _ “Umm… yeah. What sounds good? I think I have some steak in the fridge… maybe. If it didn’t go bad while we were at Maman and Papa’s.” 

 

“Oh! Steak sounds really good! If that’s not good, then we can just order pizza. That sounds equally good. Food in general sounds good.”

 

“Okay, well… Babe? You’ve kinda gotta let me go if you want food…” Levi tried to step toward the fridge, held back by Eren’s arms. 

 

“Oh, right. Sorry…” Eren let go of Levi, arms falling to his sides. Levi returned, kissing him on the forehead before going to the fridge to see what they had. 

 

Finding the steaks and noting that they were no longer in date, he sighed.  _ Oh well… Pizza it is, I guess… _ Levi pulled out his phone and placed an order on the app. “Okay, steaks are shit. Pizza it is. We’ll have dinner in 30 minutes. Sound good to you?” Eren nodded his head, wandering over to the couch and collapsing onto it. 

 

After the pizza arrived, Eren questioned how much Levi had ordered. “Um, Levi? There are only two of us… Do we really need two pizzas?” 

 

“Yes. Yes we do. Now, eat whatever you want.” Levi answered as he quickly took three slices for himself.  _ I better get what I can eat now. Watch him finish the rest of this on his own.  _ By the time Eren stopped, there were only two slices left.  _ Well, I guess I gave him too much credit. There’s a snack for later, I guess.  _ Levi put away the last two pieces before sinking into the couch beside Eren. He rested his head against the boy’s shoulder, dozing to sleep again as the TV droned on. 

 

_ I guess he’s still tired… I should have made him sleep longer… Oh well. I’ll just take him to bed. I’m starting to get a little tired anyway.  _ Eren turned off the TV and carefully picked Levi up off the couch. 

 

Levi jolted awake as he felt himself being lifted.  _ What the fuck?  _ His tired eyes struggled to open, immediately noticing that it was Eren carrying him.  _ Oh, I’m okay… It’s just Eren… He won’t drop me.. _ Levi quickly fell back asleep, curling up as Eren laid him in bed. 

 

The brunette climbed in bed, wrapping an arm around Levi’s waist as he pulled him close.  _ I’ve got you tonight. Just sleep.  _ Eren kissed the back of Levi’s head, falling into a deep sleep as he held Levi in his arms. “I love you. Sleep well, babe.” 


	25. Captain America and the Mushroom Prince

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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The week came and went, Saturday finally rolling around. The pair was seated at the table, Levi sipping at a mug of tea after finishing his breakfast while Eren went back for seconds. “Hey, Levi, what do you think about going to meet Armin? He’s been wanting to meet you since like… April. Basically since you kissed me. I was thinking we could go later this afternoon.” 

 

Levi looked up from his tea, an intrigued look on his face. “Sure, why not? I’d like to meet this friend of yours. What time do you want to go?” Eren cleared his plate before answering. 

 

“I was thinking around eleven or so? That gives us an hour to get ready and walk over there. Or drive, I guess. But it's pretty nice out, and the cafe isn’t that far.” Eren took both of their dishes to the sink and began washing them while they talked. 

 

“Sounds good to me. A little walk never hurt anyone. So… What should I expect?”

 

“Well… Armin is really happy… Like all the fucking time. He’s short and blonde. He’s actually shorter than you, as hard as that may be to believe.” Eren chuckled, quickly slipping past Levi as the man reached for him, more than likely to pay him back for his comment. 

 

“Well, forgive a man for being directionally challenged. Anyway. So, midget ball of sunshine. Got it.”  _ Yeah, you could for sure use that. Sunshine for days. I should push this friendship.  _

 

“Heh… That’s how I’ve always thought of him. Well, minus the midget part. Thats reserved for you.” Eren raced off to the bedroom when Levi got up out of his chair. 

 

“Okay, now you’re just being vindictive. Get back here you little brat!” Levi hurried after him, tackling him onto the bed and tickling his sides. “You just don’t know when to stop, you know that? My height is a sore topic, you know.” 

 

Eren was laughing as he tried to get away, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. “S-stop! I g-get it! I’m sorry. Mercy!” Levi finally relented, letting Eren roll over onto his back before leaning in and capturing his lips in a tender kiss. 

 

“Now then, have we learned our lesson?” Levi raised an eyebrow, watching the mischievous glimmer still bright in Eren’s eyes. 

 

“Sure thing, short stack.” Eren’s brilliant smile spread across his face, knowing full well what he was doing. 

 

_ You have no idea how my heart screeches to a halt when you smile at me like that, you beautiful boy.  _ “I love you.” He smiled gently as he dropped his head to the boy’s chest. 

 

_ Well…. That was a change of pace. I didn’t think he liked the name calling. Huh. Oh well, I’ll roll with it.  _ “I love you too, Levi. So does that mean short stack is okay?” 

 

Levi groaned, looking back up at the boy. “Fuck no. But if it makes you smile like that, I’ll manage.” 

 

Eren leaned up, kissing Levi on the forehead. “Well, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll smile for you all day. You’re the only reason I’m able to smile for real anyway.” 

 

“I’m glad that you’re able to smile. It’s beautiful, and the world is a happier place for it. Now let’s get ready to go meet this little midget of yours.” 

 

Eren rolled his eyes, slipping out from underneath Levi. “Well, I don’t know about that. But yeah, I’m ready to get going. I just need to brush my teeth and put on clean clothes.”  _ I really doubt I make the world a happier place. _

 

Levi stopped him, keeping him on the bed as he met his eyes. “You do, whether you think you do or not. And you sure as hell make my world a happier place. Trust me on that one.” Eren’s eyes widened slightly as he let Levi’s words sink in, his cheeks blushing faintly. Levi let him go, the brunette taking off to the closet to retrieve clothes.  _ One of these days, I’ll make sure he believes me. He’s too precious to not understand how much he means to me.  _

 

The pair got ready quickly, heading out as soon as they were done. As soon as they were out on the sidewalk, Eren reached over and laced his fingers with Levi’s. “So um… is this okay?” 

 

Levi fought the urge to roll his eyes at the question. “Yeah, babe. You can hold my hand whenever you want, wherever you want. You never have to ask.” He rubbed his thumb against the back of Eren’s hand as the two walked in silence for a bit. Just as the cafe was coming into view, Eren stopped and released Levi’s hand, slipping his own into his pockets. “Eren, what -”

 

“Eren! I haven’t seen you in forever! How are you?” A small blonde girl bounced down the sidewalk toward them, immediately latching her arms around Eren's waist and hugging him. 

 

Levi watched the exchange, suddenly very confused. “Eren? Care to introduce me to your friend?”  _ Who the fuck is this bitch? He never mentioned any female friends. Or friends at all for that matter. Well, besides the midget sunshine kid. Armin, right? I should remember that before I call him a different name by accident. Anyway, who is this and why does she have her arms around MY boyfriend?  _

 

“Oh, um..” Eren’s face tinged red with embarrassment.  _ Crap. Why did she have to show up… this is awkward… did she see us holding hands? What will she think… It's weird to do that with another guy, isn’t it? _ “T-this is Christa… um… she and I dated for a while…. Last year…”

 

The girl turned, holding out a hand to Levi. “It’s a pleasure to meet you! You must be Eren’s boyfriend!”

 

“Levi, nice to meet you.” He shook her hand politely, glancing at Eren.  _ Does he talk to her still? How else would she know we’re dating? _

 

“Well, I’m actually in a hurry, so I can’t talk, but it was so great seeing you again, Eren! Nice to meet you, Levi! Take care of him for me, kay? He tends to be a little self destructive at times, but he just needs someone to love him. It looks like you’ve got that covered though.” She smiled, giggling softly as she waved goodbye to the couple. 

 

Levi turned to Eren, raising a questioning brow. “So… ex-girlfriend? You still talk to her, I guess?” 

 

“N-no… I haven’t talked to her since we broke up in January… She said that it just wasn’t working out, that she wasn’t helping me or something like that… I don’t know. She’s always been pretty intuitive I guess.” 

 

_ Hm, smart girl. It’s a relief that didn’t go south. More often than not, that conversation is much worse and far less supportive.  _ Levi sighed internally thinking of all the negative interactions he’s had to deal with.  _ Eventually I’ll have to talk to Eren about that. The world is not necessarily nice to gay men. He’ll be okay though. I’m here, and he’s the strongest person I know.  _ “Well, anyway. We’re supposed to be meeting Armin, right? We should get going. Isn’t that his cafe up there?” 

 

“Oh! Yeah! That’s it.” Eren took off excitedly, closing the distance quickly. Levi followed close behind, happy to see the boy so excited to see another person.  By the time Levi was walking in the door, Eren was already at the counter. “Armin! I brought a surprise with me today!” 

 

A small blonde man walked back to the counter, a cup in each hand. “I know! I saw you guys down the sidewalk when Christa stopped you. Here’s your usual, Eren. And you must be the tea drinker. Is Irish breakfast okay? I figured it was a good staple. I have a few other types back here if it’s not. Eren promised to introduce us if I learned how to make good tea.” 

 

_ Wow. I see what Eren meant. And I thought Eren could be over excitable at times.  _ “Um, yeah, I’m Levi, nice to meet you. Irish breakfast sounds great, thank you.” 

 

Armin handed the cups over to the boys then walked around the counter, calling back over his shoulder. “Hey Erwin, I’m gonna talk to Eren and his boyfriend for a bit. Can you keep an eye on the counter?”

  
A deep voice came from around the corner. “What’s it gonna do? Dance for me?”

 

Armin rolled his eyes, pressing a hand to his face. “Ugh. Really, Erwin?” Armin led them to a small table toward the back of the cafe. “So anyway, how are you both? I haven’t seen you in nearly two months, Eren. I was starting to get worried…” The blonde’s smile fell a bit as he trailed off. 

 

_ Looks like this kid picks up on shit pretty fast, too. He must have known something was going on with Eren, judging by that comment.  _ Levi glanced at Eren, letting him guide the conversation.  _ I want to see where he takes this before I jump in. I’m curious how he acts around people other than me.  _

 

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that… A lot has happened. But I’m doing a lot better now. How have you and Erwin been?” Eren rested his arms on the table, leaning in with interest. 

  
“Oh, um, good. Erwin’s been a little uptight lately though. I think he’s stressed out about getting his MBA. He’s going into his last year with it, and he’s been taking classes over the summer too.” 

 

Levi watched as the blonde mushroom started to get fidgety talking about his boyfriend.  _ Something’s up there… He’s too nervous.  _

 

Eren looked over at Levi. “Oh, I bet Levi can relate to that. He’s a grad student in the Lit program. You’re about to start wrapping up your thesis, aren’t you?” 

 

“Oh, yes, that’s this coming year. I hope I’ll finish it a little early. I’ve put more effort into it than most of the other students in the program, so I’m a bit ahead.” Levi sipped at the steaming tea carefully, not wanting to burn himself.  _ Hm, this isn’t half bad. Not too strong, but certainly not weak. I would have made it similar to this.  _ “This is good, by the way.” 

 

Armin smiled in relief. “Thank goodness! I was worried. Eren said you only drank tea, so I’ve been trying to work with it to make sure that I knew how to brew the different types the way they were designed to be enjoyed. I take my craft seriously.” He beamed with pride as he talked about his shop. “Who knows, maybe I’ll turn you into a coffee drinker with my mad skills.” Eren couldn’t help but laugh at Armin’s statement. “What? Do you doubt me?” Armin gave Eren a feigned look of hurt.

 

“N-no!” The brunette struggled to answer past his laughing. “I’m laughing at you using the phrase ‘mad skills.’ Where did you even come up with that? That doesn’t even fit you.” 

 

“Okay, okay, whatever. I thought it sounded cool when I heard one of the skateboarders say it the other day. You can quit laughing at me now, you know….” The blonde crossed his arms and looked away huffing. 

 

Levi chuckled as he watched the boys interacting.  _ Yeah, I can support this. Armin would be good for him. I’ll have to see about getting him to do things with him. _

 

“Oh!” Armin turned back, offense forgotten as he perked with excitement. “We should all go out on a double date!” As he began speaking, a tall, broad shouldered blonde man walked up behind Armin, resting his large hands on the small man’s shoulders. Armin looked up, smiling happily. “What do you think, Erwin? Wouldn’t that be fun?”  _ Finally, we can have friends like us. Our community isn’t the kindest to homosexual couples….  _

 

Levi glanced up, raising a brow at the giant in front of him.  _ Well, I guess this guy was an eyebrow model in a past life or something. Geeze. He should really think about getting those thinned out. They take over his fucking face.  _ “That could be fun.” Levi reached across the table, holding out a hand to the blonde giant. “I’m Levi, by the way. Nice to meet you, Erwin.” 

 

“The pleasure is mine. Armin’s been pretty thrilled at the idea of finally meeting you since Eren mentioned that he’d met someone.” He answered while giving Levi a firm handshake.

 

_ The little mushroom prince here doesn’t seem uncomfortable around Captain America. So I doubt he abuses him. Maybe I was wrong earlier…  _ “Well, it’s been a pleasure meeting you both. Eren, how about you and Armin exchange numbers? Then we can all plan to go out and do something one night. We should probably be getting back soon anyway.” 

 

Eren stood with Levi, giving Armin a quick hug after exchanging contact information. “It was really good to see you again. I promise I’ll come more often. I missed my morning coffee.”

 

Armin rolled his eyes. “Riiiggghhhttt, the coffee. I’ll just stay over here and be chopped liver. No one wants to see Armin or anything.” 

 

Eren chuckled softly, correcting himself. “I missed talking to you too. For a while there, you were the happiest part of my day. The smiling face that gave me liquid energy. Well, anyway, we’ll see you guys later!” The brunette waved to the blond couple as he and Levi walked out of the shop. Once they had made it a little bit down the sidewalk, Eren slipped his hand back into Levi’s. “So.. What do you think of Armin?” 

 

“I think he’s a good influence on you. You could use someone that happy around. I approve. What do you think of a group date? I hadn’t ever really thought about it before.” Levi glanced over at Eren, trying to see his reaction. 

 

“I think it would be fun…. Erwin is kind of intimidating… but I mean, he can’t be that bad if Armin trusts him. He seems really uptight though. More so than I’ve seen him before. I guess grad school is stressful, huh?” He looked up, meeting Levi’s gaze. 

 

“It depends on the person's constitution, I suppose. It's not necessarily like that for me, but I’m doing something I enjoy. Difficult and time consuming? Yes. Stressful, no. Keeping you alive is stressful. School, not so much.”

 

Eren looked down, watching the sidewalk as his shoulders slumped. He tried to release Levi’s hand but the older man just held on tighter. “I’m sorry… I don’t mean to stress you out…” 

 

“Eren. Stop. It's not a bad thing. You shouldn’t feel bad about it either. I wouldn’t have it any other way. If I get to have you, then I’m happy to deal with it. And it will get better. It won’t always be like this because every day we’re together, you just keep getting better. When I first met you, I honestly didn’t think I’d ever see you interact with my parents or even Armin the way you did today.” 

 

“Yeah… I didn’t think I’d ever be able to talk to people normally again to be honest… I had just resigned myself to the fact that I was broken… I was faking it every time I talked to Armin. He was the only person for a while that I genuinely didn’t want to worry. Even with Christa… I kind of just didn’t care. I didn’t force myself to smile or anything. Then you walked into that class… I don’t know… I remember very clearly hearing your voice for the first time… it was like the fog cleared for a minute. I remember exactly what you looked like, and I remember it felt like you saw right through me. I couldn’t remember the last time my mind had been that clear… I didn't care what excuse I had to use, but I wanted to keep that feeling.” 

 

_ Damn, kid… I’m glad I’m not the only one that had a come to Jesus moment when I met you.  _ “So you came after me. Well, how about I let you in on a secret. I noticed you right off the bat. You were the most beautiful person sitting in that room. I was actually a little excited when you stopped me in the hall that day.” 

 

“R-really?” Eren’s fingers tightened back around Levi’s hand, a small smile on his lips. “I’m so happy that you walked into that classroom. I wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t.. Dad would have killed me… if he hadn’t, then I might have just done it myself...  You really did save me.” 

 

Levi pulled Eren’s hand, stopping him and stepping in front of the boy. He pulled Eren’s hand to his lips, kissing it softly then pressing his free hand to the boy’s cheek. “I love you so much. I’m so happy that you stopped me in that hallway. You really are the light of my life.” Leaning up, he placed a loving kiss on the boy’s lips. He chuckled softly as Eren’s face turned red. “I love listening to you talk like that. You don’t normally talk about things like that.” 

 

“L-lets just hurry back home… I’m starting to get hungry…”  _ He’s so embarrassing sometimes… But I really love him… He’s not embarrassed by me, obviously, since he’s fine with kissing me in public.  _ “I love you, too…” the brunette whispered, face finally starting to return to its normal color. 

 

“Dinner time it is, then.”  _ Yeah… definitely need to have a conversation with him about how to handle people… if this embarrasses him with no one around, then we’re gonna have a lot to talk about….  _ Levi started dinner as soon as they got home.  _ Kinda early, but when he’s hungry, I’m not arguing.  _

 

After Eren ate his fill, the two curled up on the couch to watch a movie. By the time it was over, the boy was already yawning. “Ugh… Why am I tired already? It's only what? Like 8:30? 

 

“Well, we got up decently early. It's not surprising that you’d get tired earlier. I’m starting to get a little tired, too. Let’s just call it a night.” Eren nodded, stretching as he stood from the couch. 

 

After brushing his teeth, he curled up against Levi in bed. “I had fun today… I can’t wait until we get to do something with them again. Armin is fun to be around.” 

 

Levi kissed the top of Eren’s hair as he rubbed the boy’s back. “We’ll plan something soon. Maybe a movie or something. But for now, get some rest, babe. I love you.” 

 

“I love you too, Levi.” He yawned again, closing his eyes and quickly falling asleep as he listened to Levi’s heartbeat. 

  
  


Armin locked the door to the cafe, checking his watch as he and Erwin started the short walk back to their apartment. “Do you have a preference for dinner?” He asked glancing up at his boyfriend. 

 

“Whatever is quick. I’ve got my project to work on, sorry.”    
  


“Oh… Okay…. Well… I’ll just make some alfredo then or something…” Armin fell behind, shoulders sagging.  _ He’s just not the same lately…  _

 

“Yeah, That would be good.” Erwin unlocked their apartment when they got there, immediately going to the couch to work on his project for his summer class. Amin sighed and headed to the kitchen, making quick work of dinner. He brought their bowls to the living room, sitting down beside Erwin, the duo eating in silence. 

 

Once they were done, Armin stood, picking up the two empty bowls. “Do you think you could help me with the dishes?” 

 

The blonde giant didn’t even look up from his work. “No, sorry, Armin. I’ve got to get this done.” 

 

“You’re always too busy to help lately…” 

 

Erwin slammed his book closed, looking up at Armin. “Look, you can’t possibly know how stressful this is. You didn’t even go to college.” 

 

“Just because I didn’t go to college doesn’t mean that I don’t know how stressful it can be! Don’t treat me like an idiot! I just want some -” He was cut off by Erwin standing and bringing a swift backhand down across his cheek. The bowls clattered to the floor as armin cried out, his own hand quickly going to his face to sooth his stinging cheek. He stared wide eyed at Erwin, suddenly intimidated by his boyfriend. 

 

“Oh god… Armin… I didn’t mean it… I..” Erwin raised a shaking hand, trying to see what kind of damage he had done. 

 

“No!” Armin backed away from him quickly. “Don’t touch me…” He spun and grabbed his phone, heading out the door. “And don’t follow me either! I need to think….” He caught sight of Erwin’s pained expression as he slammed their apartment door.  _ Why did he do that? What if he does it again? But… he’s never hurt me before… I need somewhere to go for tonight… _ Before he realized it, he was back at the cafe.  _ Who on earth can I call? It’s 12:30 already… and all of my friends are also Erwin’s… I don’t want to give him a bad name with our friends… I love him too much to do that… I could call Eren… but… He’s got so much that he already deals with… _ Armin paced outside the cafe, soon numb from the evening chill. It took him over an hour before he finally convinced himself that Eren was the only one he could call. With a shaking hand he pressed send, tears still falling as he raised the phone to his ear and prayed the boy would answer this late. 

  
  


Levi woke to a phone ringing. “Who the fuck is calling this late…?” He groaned as he reached for his phone. Quickly realizing it wasn’t his, he nudged Eren awake. “Babe, that’s yours.” 

 

Eren yawned reaching blindly for his phone, sitting straight up after answering. A shaky voice was crying on the other end. “Armin? Is that you?” Levi watched the boy’s face shift from confusion, to concern, and then to anger.  “He did what!?” Levi sat up, turning on the lamp. He could hear the voice on the other end of the phone crying, struggling to convey whatever message he had. “Stay there, we’re coming to get you, okay?” The mushroom must have agreed because Eren hung up the phone, quickly getting out of bed. 

 

_ That didn’t sound good at all. _ He had already gotten up and started getting dressed when he heard Eren volunteering them to go somewhere. “Eren, what’s going on? You don’t look good and he didn’t sound good. Where are we going?” Levi grabbed his keys as he followed Eren through the living room. 

 

“W-we’re going to the cafe… Erwin… Erwin hit Armin… We need to go get him. He’s staying here tonight, okay?” Eren turned, looking for approval from Levi with a pleading expression, worry and anxiety clouding his face. Levi nodded, snagging his wallet as they went out the door.

 

Before they got to the elevator, Levi gently grabbed Eren by the arm, stopping him for a moment. “Are you okay? You look a kind of panicky… I can go alone if you want… I don’t want to risk your mental health for something that I can do alone…”  _ I know the kid needs help, but if this is going to trigger something, you don’t need to be there, babe. I can handle it for you. _

 

Eren shook his head. “No, I’m fine. Armin is what is important right now. Let’s just get to him, then I’ll relax. Deal?” Levi nodded as they got on the elevator and headed out the building. 

 

Pulling up to the cafe, Eren jumped out before Levi even had the car in park. “Eren! Wait a second!” He parked and followed the brunette up to the doors. Armin emerged from inside, a large bruise already forming on his face. 

 

“I’m sorry, Eren… Levi… I just didn’t know who else to call… All of my friends are also his friends and…” The blonde mushroom broke down into sobs as Eren wrapped his arms around him. 

 

“Let’s just go, okay? We’ll get some ice on your bruise, and you can get some sleep. Erwin has no idea where we live, so you’re safe at our apartment.” Eren looked down and the little blonde mushroom, instantly protective of him. 

 

Levi opened the car door for Armin, expecting Eren to get in the front, but he didn’t. Instead, he followed Armin into the backseat, keeping an arm around the boy and consoling him.  _ Okay, then. I guess he’s just being protective. It makes sense... Eren’s been through a hell of a lot worse, so he knows how it feels.  _ Levi brought them home, going to open the door for the boys in the back, but finding that Eren had already done so for Armin.  _ Let him take the lead. He’s probably reliving some less than pleasant shit right now.  _ Levi followed the two into the building and up to the apartment. Once inside, he went to work making a bed on the couch for Armin while Eren got him an ice pack for his face, wrapping it expertly in a thin cloth napkin. 

 

“Thanks, Eren.” Armin sniffed. “I’m sorry I called… I just didn’t have anyone else to…” 

 

“No, it’s okay.” Eren wrapped his arms around Armin again, letting him cry into his shirt.  _ He’s smaller than Levi... And Erwin’s huge. That motherfucker. Never trust someone with eyebrows like those… And what the fuck is with his two-toned hair?  _ Eren’s anger directed his thoughts until Armin pulled away, asking for Tylenol. “Oh,” Eren began, “actually, you probably want some ibuprofen. It works better for… bruising and swelling…” Eren kept his head down as he went into the other room to hunt some down, feeling Levi’s eyes on him. 

 

_ I hate that he knows that.  _ Levi followed his brat into the bathroom, shutting the door and taking a minute to look him over. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Eren nodded, grabbing the ibuprofen and leaving the bathroom, leaving Levi standing in the middle of the room.  _ Okay, he’s not okay, but he’s also not panicking or acting distant. Maybe this is just normal worried Eren? Protective Eren? New Eren, either way.  _ Levi sighed and wandered back into the living room where Eren was handing Armin pillows to complete his makeshift bed. After Armin was comfortable, he thanked the two and laid down. 

 

Eren led Levi into the bedroom and got into bed, not saying much. Levi tried to curl up to Eren, but Eren just wasn’t feeling like it tonight. He gently shoved Levi away, apologizing and going to sleep on his own. “I’m sorry, Levi… Not tonight..” 

 

_ Not okay, confirmed.  _ Levi gave up for the evening, letting himself fall asleep once more.The next morning, Levi woke to an empty bed, Eren already on the couch in the living room with Armin. The pair were eating breakfast. Eren had made eggs and toast for them. Levi wandered into the kitchen, smiling when he found the plate that Eren was keeping warm for him in the oven. He took the plate and made his way to the couch to check on the boys. 

 

Armin was feeling much better, embarrassed, his bruise blossoming across his cheekbone. “Erwin hasn’t stopped calling me since I left the apartment…He’s never done this before… He seems sorry… He tried to apologize the second he did it but I ran.. ” 

 

“Do you want to talk to him?” Levi inquired.

 

When he suggested that Erwin come over, Eren blanched. “What?” He met Levi’s gaze, his eyes wide and his expression angry. “Why?” 

 

“Because they need to talk. And from what Armin’s telling me, this was a weird thing. It’s never happened before, and Erwin tried to apologize and make it right the second it happened.”

 

“So?” Eren fought to keep the bitterness out of his tone. “He can say anything he wants. That doesn’t make it true.” 

 

Levi raised his eyebrows.  _ Called it.  _ Levi invited Erwin over at Armin’s request, much to Eren’s disapproval. Eren was protective while they waited, ignoring Levi and focusing all his attention on Armin. Levi tried to sit on the other side of Eren, attempting to rest a hand on the back of the boy’s neck, but Eren was having none of it. He was too fixated on Armin and the impending arrival of Captain Eyebrows. 

 

Eren held Armin a little bit tighter when a knock sounded at the door, Levi eyeing him before going to answer it. He opened the door to a very guilty looking Erwin. The tall man looked like he hadn’t slept in days. Before allowing him into the apartment, Levi took him outside the door to talk. “Before you see him, you’re going to listen to me. I don’t know what is going on with you, but that is no reason to snap and take it out on that boy, he is smaller than I am and you are by no means small. Beyond that, you should never hit your boyfriend. Now, my boyfriend won’t even let me touch him because he’s so busy protecting your boyfriend. So we are going to all sit down and have a nice little chat.” 

 

“I didn’t do it on purpose… It just happened. I would never purposely hurt Armin, I swear… I love him too much… I.. I don’t know what happened… I swear…” Erwin’s face was full of remorse and anxiety. This was taking a toll on him. Levi nodded, allowing the blonde giant into his apartment. 

 

Armin stood silently, meeting Erwin’s gaze, the left half of his face a nice shade of purple. Erwin’s face contorted in pain and guilt. “Armin… I’m so sorry… I swear… it won’t happen again… I never meant to…” 

 

Armin glanced back at Eren, giving him a reassuring smile before going over to Erwin and embracing him. “I just want you back… you’ve been so distant lately…” 

 

“I swear, I’ll figure it out, plan my time better. Something. I’ll give you the attention you deserve and I’ll figure out some way to not get so stressed out with school.” The man’s voice cracked as he spoke. Relief filling his face when he realized that Armin was forgiving him. He leaned down, lovingly kissing every inch of the ugly mark on the boy’s face. “I’m so sorry…”

 

Eren eyed the man warily. “I swear. If you ever fucking touch him like that again, I’ll rip your fucking arms off.” 

 

Erwin nodded. “I wouldn't want it any other way” The two blonde men left, Armin smiling, hand in Erwin’s. “Levi… I don't trust him…”

 

Levi sat behind Eren, pulling him back against his chest and running his fingers through the boy's hair. “I really think they'll be okay, babe. I talked with Erwin before I even let him in here. Armin is safe, and he's lucky to have a friend as protective as you.”

 

“I hope so… That's what dad always said at the beginning… He'd beg for forgiveness… tell me or mom that he'd never lay another hand on us… then a few days later he'd be back at it…” Eren trembled at the memory, fingers gripping at Levi's arm around his chest. 

 

“Eren, Erwin isn't Grisha. Armin will be safe. He has both of us looking out for him after all.” Eren sighed, finally relaxing against Levi’s chest and closing his eyes. Levi kissed the top of his head, still playing with his hair. 

 

“Okay… I swear though… I’ll tear his fucking arms off if he hurts Armin again. I won’t stand by and let someone else go through that…” Eren’s breathing slowed as he dozed off in Levi’s arms, the stress of the evening finally draining out of him. 

 

“I know, babe… I know.” Levi held the boy close, thankful that Eren was letting him touch him again.  _ He was wound tighter than I thought if he’s falling asleep again. He’s a good kid. He looks out for his friends, that’s for sure.  _ Levi let himself get lost in his thoughts as his brat slept in his arms. 


	26. All My Tomorrows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY FOR WEDNESDAY! \^.^/
> 
> Thank you to everyone that is following the fic and we hope you continue to enjoy the story! 
> 
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The following week passed without event; Tuesday found Eren lounging around the apartment alone. Levi had gone back to campus to start work on the next series of his research. He was in his final year before earning his Master’s, so he would be defending his thesis in the spring. The brunette sighed as he turned off the TV, head falling back against the couch.  _ I know this is important, and I know he needs to work, but I really miss having him around…. I know he’d drop anything and be here in no time if I needed him, so that’s nice. At least I haven’t had any nightmares or panic attacks since Dad died. It feels like Levi can actually focus without worrying about me every second of the day like I know he does.  _ Getting up from the couch, Eren wandered around the apartment, stopping to look at a small family photo on the wall. A much younger Levi was being held in his mother’s arms with Papa hugging them both. 

 

_ I would love to have a little Levi one day… I want to be with him forever… I wonder if he feels the same. I wonder if Levi wants kids... Oh, god… what if I can’t be a good dad? What if I end up like my Dad… I can’t do that…. What if Levi doesn’t even want kids? I could be an abusive alcoholic, and he wouldn’t even want them…  _ The more he thought about it, the more anxious he got. Trying to take his mind off of everything, he went to the kitchen to see if there was anything to clean. After wiping down all the counters, he glanced back at the photo again, chest tightening as he thought more about what the future held for the pair. The brunette’s breathing started coming in short gasps as he worked himself up. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he started to call Levi, then stopped himself.  _ I can’t call Levi, not over something this small… he’s in important meetings all day today… I just have to take care of this on my own…  _ The boy stumbled off to the bedroom, gripping at his chest as he struggled to breathe.  _ Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, come on Jaeger… _ He tried to coach himself through his breathing, but it just didn’t work the same way as when Levi did it. Collapsing into the bed, he grabbed his stingray, hugging it tightly to his chest.  _ Maman! I can call her!  _ Scrolling through his short contact list with shaking hands, he found her number and pressed send, whimpering as he fought to make his lungs expand. 

 

Maman answered quickly, seeing Eren’s name light up her phone. “Eren, how are you dear?” She was immediately on alert the second she heard the boy whimpering and struggling to breath. “Eren, sweetheart, breathe for me, okay? Just breathe. You’re okay. Tell me what’s wrong.” 

 

Eren forced himself to take the deepest breath he could manage before trying to speak. “T-there was this picture, and it had a little Levi. And I want one, but will he want one? And I just… and what if I’m like him? I can’t do that!” Eren gasped as he tried to catch his breath after the stream of incoherent words. 

 

_ Little Levi? He wants one? What if… OH. Kids! He wants kids! Oh, yay! Little ones!  Wait, focus, the poor dear can’t breathe, gotta fix that first.  _ “Eren, shh, just breathe. It’s okay dear, you just need to talk to Levi about it.” 

 

“B-but I can’t.” He gasped. “H-he's busy with meetings… important… something this stupid… don’t want to bother him…”  _ I have to be okay alone. I can’t worry him, school is too important.  _

 

“Eren, none of this is stupid, and you’ll never be a bother to Levi. Just have faith in your relationship. Levi loves you more than anything in the world. But listen to me, okay? I have to go now, but I need you to breathe for me.”  _ I’m not doing any good on the phone with him. He needs Levi, not me.  _ “I love you, and you can call me anytime though, okay?” 

 

Eren nodded, tears pricking the corner of his eyes.  _ This is nice… having a mom again…. Oh wait… she can’t hear me nodding, I have to actually answer… _ “O-okay… I love you too…” Eren let the phone fall from his ear, squeezing stingray Levi against his burning chest as he focused on his breathing, still getting nowhere. 

 

As soon as she hung up with Eren, Maman was calling Levi.  _ Pick up your damn phone, son, this is important. How often do I call you? Never. That's how often. So answer me! _ After three back to back calls, Levi finally answered.

 

Levi excused himself from his meeting, stepping into the hallway to see what was so important. “Maman, I’m really in the middle of something important right now. What on earth do you need?” 

 

“It’s Eren. Now be nicer to your mother.” She answered with a sweetness that had a bite to it. 

 

Levi was instantly at attention, mind wandering to all the various things that could have happened to his brat in the short amount of time he had been gone. “What’s wrong with Eren? What happened?” 

 

“He called me worrying about the future. He didn’t sound good, Levi. It sounded like he was on the edge of panic. He saw one of our family photos and started thinking about how he wanted children, and then worrying about whether you would want them and a few other things, but I really struggled to understand him. He was really having trouble breathing. He wouldn't call you himself because he didn’t think this was important enough to interrupt. Now, I know school is important, but he is more important. Forget your research for a minute and go take care of that precious boy. I give you permission.” 

 

Levi needed to know more, but the moment she said the word “panic,” he was back in the room gathering his things and apologizing for having to leave early.  _ Eren hasn’t had a panic attack since the night Grisha died. Maman isn’t worried about school, so neither am I. Eren is far more important than this place.  _ “Thank you for calling me for him. I’m on my way home now. Love you.” He hung up before she could respond, racing out to the Q7, calling Eren in the process. Levi growled as the phone rang then went to voicemail.  _ Every fucking time I’m worried, brat. Every fucking time! And half the time, there is a justifiable reason for me to be worried! _ Levi tried calling another time as he drove, still no answer. Once he was back in the apartment, he looked around for Eren, not seeing him anywhere. He checked each room, finally checking the bedroom. He saw Eren’s phone laying forgotten on the bed, but no Eren. He stopped when he heard small gasps coming from the far side of the bed. Quickly making his way to the other side, he found the boy sitting against the bed with his stingray held tight to his chest. His breathing was shallow, body trembling. He was clearly panicking or very nearly there. He knelt in front of the shaking brunette, gently taking the stingray out of the boy’s arms and gripping his hands between them. “Eren, it’s okay. You have the real thing here now, kid. Talk to me. What happened, babe? You’ve been doing so well lately…”

 

Eren looked up, eyes wide. “Y-you can’t be here… Meeting… more important.” His sentence came between his gasps for air. 

 

Levi released one of the boy’s hands, taking Eren's face in his now free palm. “Fuck the meetings. You’re far more important to me. You’re the most important thing to me. Maman called me until I answered and told me to come home. She only told me what little she could understand, and that you needed me. So please, talk to me. Why didn’t you call me?” 

 

Eren was self-conscious, not wanting to share what had him so worked up. “I… I just…”

 

“Eren, please, talk to me. I want to know what you’re thinking. I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.” Levi brushed a thumb across the boy’s cheek, wiping away a stray tear. 

 

Eren had started to calm, but the tightness in his chest returned as he tried to speak. The boy started to cry as he sucked in precious air. “I-I just saw a picture… I want one, b-but you…”

 

“Babe. Pause. Breathe for me first. There is nothing that you need to start getting worked up over again. Breathe, inhale, exhale.” Levi exaggerated his own breathing as he tried to get Eren to copy him. After a few minutes, the boy was able to take a somewhat normal breath. “That’s it, good job, Eren. Now, can you tell me what happened and keep breathing, or do we need to wait until later?” 

 

“I-I think I’m okay…” The brunette gripped Levi’s hand for comfort as he put all his energy into keeping his breathing level while he tried to tell the older man what had happened. “I got bored… so I was just kinda wandering around… and.. I saw one of your family pictures where you were little… I started thinking about how nice it would be to have a family like that… with you. A-and I really would love to have a little you… But then I started thinking about, what if you didn’t want kids… or what if you didn’t even want to stay with me? And then I thought about how my dad was, and I was scared that I would turn out just like him… And I just -”

 

He was stopped abruptly as Levi leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips, resting his forehead against Eren’s. “Eren, I love you so much. I will always stay with you, you’re never getting rid of me. And I would love to have a family with you. I want nothing more than to make you happy. I swear, when that time comes, you will be the best fucking father in the world. You will be nothing like your father. You will be loving, and kind, and supportive, and hella protective. And our children will love you to the moon and back, and it will be beautiful. So please, don’t let this work you up. The future for us is perfect and full of happiness, okay?”  _ Seriously? This is what he gets for being mentally healthy enough to think about our future together? He does all that work, fights through all that shit to get to this point, and  _ this _ is what he gets? I’m so sorry, Eren. Apparently there's nothing that can happen that will convince your head that you’re more than enough. It’s a good thing I’m going to be here for the rest of our lives to make you see that.  _ “Besides, if anyone is going to be the problem parent here, how do you know it will be you and not the one of us who was affiliated with a street gang during his teenage years?” 

 

Eren laughed, sniffling as he wiped his eyes with his sleeves. “Yeah, cause you’re such a thug.” Levi chuckled, attempting to make an intimidating face to emphasize his point but failing the second Eren lost it and laughed at him. 

 

_ He just needs to move in. We both know he’s not going anywhere. And if he does, I’ll be right behind him. I want him here, and it’s obvious that he wants to be here.  _ “Eren…” Levi brushed the boy’s stray locks out of his face, meeting his eyes. “Would you move in with me? I want you to always stay with me, and it just makes sense for you to be here.”

 

The boy’s eyes widened, a large smile quickly filling his face. “Yes…” He nodded emphatically. “Of course, I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be.” 

 

The older man smiled, relief evident in his eyes. _Thank god. Somehow I was worried he might say no. I can take care of him now… he’ll really be here with me._ Levi helped the boy to his feet, leading him to the kitchen to make him food while they talked about plans to get Eren’s things.

 

They made it through the rest of the week. Come Friday, the pair headed to the old apartment to get what little Eren had before meeting with the landlord Saturday morning. “I can get this by myself if I need to… Are you sure you’ll be okay going back there?” Levi looked over at the brunette, his voice laced with concern.

 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I need to make sure I’ve got everything anyway.” Eren fidgeted nervously in the elevator as they went down to the car.  _ I’m sure it’ll be fine. Levi is with me. Last time, I was alone.  _

 

The two were at the door of the old apartment within twenty minutes. Levi unlocked it and stepped inside, looking back to watch Eren warily. “Are you sure you’re okay?” 

 

The brunette took a deep breath as he stepped inside, glancing around the empty room. “Actually… Yeah. Yeah I am. He can’t hurt me anymore… so this room means nothing to me now.” Meeting Levi’s gaze, he smiled, face filled with relief.  “Let’s get this stuff packed so we can be done. It shouldn’t take long. Most of the furniture came with the place, so I don’t have much at all.” Eren showed Levi what little he had before the older man went back out to the Q7 and grabbed the boxes they had brought. After several hours of work and delivery pizza for dinner, the boys finally had everything in boxes and were loading the last into the SUV. Eren watched as Levi lifted the box into place.  _ Fuck, I forget how toned he is sometimes… God, his body is beautiful. He looks totally fuckable right now, like, hella sexy.  _ Eren followed him back inside the apartment, glancing around at the barren rooms as they checked to make sure they had everything. “Oh, um, I think we forgot something in the bedroom.” 

 

Levi looked back quizzically. “We did? I thought we got all that first…”

 

“Yeah! Um, I think I left some stuff in the nightstand!”  _ Just go with it, dammit. Come on babe. Bed, now.  _

 

The smaller man rolled his eyes and headed off toward the back room, Eren close behind. Opening the nightstand, he found it bare. “See? I told you we got -” He turned as he spoke, but was cut off as Eren caught him by the lips and pushed him back into the bed. Levi gasped, Eren taking advantage of the opportunity and invading the space. He moaned into the kiss as the brunette ground his growing erection against Levi’s hips. Pulling back to catch his breath, Levi gave him a questioning look. “Wow… what’s gotten into you?” 

 

“Well, hopefully here in a minute, you. Do you have any idea how fucking sexy you looked carrying those boxes? Like fucking hell, you’re built, and beautiful, and mine, and I love you.” The boy resumed his onslaught, fingers tugging Levi’s shirt over his head needily. The older man matched the boy’s pace, pulling Eren’s shirt off and tossing it off the edge of the bed. 

 

Levi groaned as Eren’s fingers traced over his sides and along his hips, pulling at his waistband. His fingers tangled in the soft, brown hair as the boy kissed down his hipbone, his breath catching in his throat as a warm kiss was pressed against the tip of his aching member. He shifted his hips, allowing Eren to remove the remainder of his clothes, fingers tightening in the boy’s hair as his wet mouth closed over his length. “S-shit, Eren… I swear… You’re too damn good at this…” 

 

_ Hm… I wonder… Let’s try something new today… _ Eren trailed his tongue down the man’s length, enjoying the shivers that accompanied his actions. Wrapping his hand around Levi’s dripping member, he stroked him slowly as he traced his tongue around his balls, carefully sucking on them, feeling accomplished as Levi arched of the bed, crying out the boy’s name. 

 

“F-Fucking h-hell… C-careful…that’s t-too much.. Feels too good…” He moaned as he trembled under the boy’s touch. He watched as Eren started to suck on his fingers, teasingly licking them as he locked eyes with the man, a fire blazing in his emerald eyes. His eyes widened as the boy took his length back into his mouth. He reached back and started to stretch himself, moaning around Levi’s cock.  _ Oh. My. God. I didn’t think it was possible to be any more turned on than I already was, but… Holy hell, babe…  _ “Eren…. Hurry up with that, I need you…” The boy blushed but continued his ministrations, sucking on the tip before releasing him. Eren licked his lips seductively as he sat up, removing his fingers and straddling the man. 

 

_ God, I feel like I should be embarrassed by the way I’m acting, but… He’s so fucking sexy, and I want him… and he loves me… So… it’s okay.  _ Eren moaned as he lowered himself onto the man’s throbbing length. “Oh my god… Levi… Your cock makes me feel so full… fucking amazing... “ Levi’s hands fell on the boy’s hips, trying to help as Eren rode his aching member. 

 

“I’ve got you, babe. Keep touching yourself, I want to watch you come while you ride my cock.” He rocked his hips to keep time with the boy as Eren wrapped a hand around his own member, stroking erratically as he was overcome with pleasure. “Fuck… Eren… Come for me, babe... “ Levi moaned as he felt himself getting close. Moments later, the beautiful boy above him trembled, crying out his name as he shot his release across Levi’s chest. The man following quickly after as the boy tightened around him, shuddering as his own release tore through him. 

 

Eren collapsed down onto Levi’s chest, whimpering as the man fell out of him. “T-that… That was fucking good… But damn, I’m tired now…” He panted as he listened to Levi’s racing heart, struggling to stay awake in the aftermath of their lovemaking. 

 

Levi trailed his fingers through the boy’s hair as he wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “It’s always good when it's with you, babe. Just sleep now. I’ve got you.”  _ Ugh, shower needed as soon as we wake up again.  _ He was thankful there was in fact something they had forgotten. He stretched across the bed, pulling the forgotten blanket across their bare bodies as they both dozed off. 

 

Eren woke as a sliver of light started peeking through the window. He felt Levi’s deep breathing next to him and stilled, not wanting to wake the sleeping man. He shifted carefully, propping himself up on his elbow and looking down at the beautiful raven haired man. Running his fingers softly through Levi’s hair, he started to sing quietly. 

 

_ “I watched you sleepin' quietly in my bed _

_ You don't know this now but _

_ There's some things that need to be said _

_ And it's all that I can hear _

_ It's more than I can bear _

 

_ What if I fall and hurt myself _

_ Would you know how to fix me? _

_ What if I went and lost myself _

_ Would you know where to find me? _

_ If I forgot who I am _

_ Would you please remind me? _

_ Oh, cause without you things go hazy.” _

 

Levi had woken when Eren started to move, but stayed quiet as the boy played with his hair. His breathing stilled as his love started to sing.  _ Oh my… And he was impressed by my singing? He sounds like a fucking angel… I could get used to waking up to this… _ He wrapped an arm around the boy, eyes finally opening as Eren fell silent. “What the hell are you doing in the lit department with a voice like that?”  He chuckled softly as Eren bit his lip, face turning red. 

 

“I-I thought you were asleep… I don’t sing that well…” 

 

Levi brought a hand up, brushing his fingers along the boy’s cheek. “Eren, no. You have one of the most beautiful voices I’ve ever heard. And you know what? I will  _ always _ fix you, and if you get lost, I will  _ always _ find you, and you’ll never forget who you are for long as long as I’m around. I’ll keep things clear so you’ll never have to wonder. I love you so much, Eren.” 

 

Tears welled in the boy’s eyes as he listened to Levi in awe. “Never break up with me, okay? I think I might actually die if you did…” His voice cracked as his emotions swelled within him. 

 

“Oh, Eren, I could never do that. You’re kinda it for me, kid. I know you’re only 20, so I’m sorry if that scares the shit out of you, but it’s true.” Levi kissed the boy’s cheeks softly as tears fell from his eyes. Eren could no longer hold them back as he cried, curling up into Levi’s chest, feeling more content and happy than he could ever remember being. Once the boy had calmed, Levi decided it was time for a shower. “Well, as much as I’m enjoying snuggle time, we’re both disgusting. It’s shower time. Do you still have soap in there by any chance? Or a towel?” 

 

“Umm… no… We packed all that….” Levi groaned as he got up and pulled on his clothes. 

 

“Back home it is then. We’ve got to take a shower before we meet with your landlord. If we hurry, it’ll be fine.” 

 

Eren got up, following suit as he got dressed.  _ Well… this is uncomfortable.  _ He wrinkled his nose as he felt the aftermath of the previous evening leaking out of him.  _ Ugh. Yes. Shower. Now, please.  _ “Yeah, can we um… Can we hurry?” 

 

Levi snickered quietly as he realized why Eren was suddenly in a hurry as well. “Yeah, I’ve got my keys here. Let’s go.” The pair made one final sweep as they hurried out to the Q7, then took off for home. After a shower and breakfast, they went back to meet with the landlord, Levi ensuring that the man was content after they had broken Eren’s lease. As they came back home for the night, Levi slipped his hand into the boy’s as they walked toward the apartment door. Unlocking it and letting it swing open, he turned back toward him. “Welcome home, Eren.” He smiled as he gently pulled the boy inside, kissing him softly. 

 

Eren blinked, tearing up as he realized what that meant. “Home… yeah… I’m home… Finally…” The boy wrapped his arms tightly around Levi, burying his face in the man’s neck.  _ I finally have somewhere safe to call home with someone who loves me… after so long…  _

 

The next two weeks passed in a blur as Levi focused on his research and Eren spent his time watching anime and talking to Armin at Cafe Shina. One Sunday night as Levi was making dinner, he thought about how school would be starting soon for Eren. “So, Eren, what classes did you sign up for?” 

 

“Umm… French three, French lit, and humanities two. Why?” Eren glanced over at the man in confusion. 

 

“That’s not really a lot. You should take another class. It wouldn’t add too much more work. I’ll help you out so that you don’t get overwhelmed.”   
  
“I can’t, I don’t have the money. I’m working on a photographer’s paycheck and scholarships here.” 

 

Levi rolled his eyes. “Babe, you’re fine. I’ll help. Plus, you’re not paying for an apartment anymore. What gen-eds do you still have to take?” 

 

“Well… I still haven’t taken Oral Com…” The brunette shuffled nervously as he picked at the edge of his shirt. 

 

“That one is easy, especially for a native speaker. Why did you put it off?”  _ I don’t even know why I’m asking. That class must be murder for someone with anxiety.  _ He stopped what he was doing and took the boy’s hands. “You know what, never mind. I understand. Go ahead and sign up for it. I’ll help you, babe. I’m excellent at oral communication.” He laced the last part with as much underlying meaning as he could. Eren chuckled softly, catching the message, but was still wound up about the idea of speaking in front of others. Levi kissed him softly, trying to get him to relax, but to no avail. 

 

After a few minutes, Levi returned to cooking. At one point, he turned around after hearing Eren opening a cabinet behind him. He found the boy reaching once again for the liquor. With an internal sigh he crossed the kitchen and pulled Eren’s arm back down gently. “Babe, we talked about this. Alcohol won’t help.”

 

“It does though!” Eren shot back in frustration, a hand quickly covering his mouth as guilt filled his eyes. 

 

_ Excuse me, what?   _ “Oh, does it now? And how would you know that? Have you been drinking without telling me?”  _  What the hell, brat? Please don’t make me worry about you drinking when I’m not here. I don’t want you to rely on that stuff to get through the day. I’m pretty sure that you grew up with that, and it didn’t work out so well for him.  _

 

“Maybe… Yes… It’s never a lot though… Just a sip or two…” Eren hung his head, knowing he shouldn’t have kept that from Levi. 

 

“Eren, you can’t do that. Alcohol isn’t harmless. You should know that better than anyone…”  _ It's a low blow wording it like that, but I need him to understand…. Shit like that can run in families… and it always starts with just a sip or two… _

 

“I-I know that… but… it helps me calm down if I’m anxious and you’re not there…” Levi kissed him gently on the forehead and guided him to the table. 

 

“We’ll think of something else. I promise. Dinner is basically ready, so just go ahead and sit down.” Levi thought about the situation while he plated dinner. After setting the plates at the table, he went back and poured them both a drink. Eren gave him a confused look as he set the amber liquid in front of both of their places. “If you want to have a drink while I’m here and can supervise, then it’s okay… but I reserve the right to cut you off when I think you’ve had enough. And no random binging or day drinking. Deal?”

 

“Deal, I can work with that.” Eren took a few bites of dinner, then quickly finished his drink. After a few minutes, he got up to get himself another. 

 

Levi watched as the boy filled his glass again.  _ Careful there, babe… I’ll cut you off when I need to… you’re downing those pretty damn fast. _ After the boy filled his glass for a third time, Levi took the bottle and put it away. “That is the last one, you really don’t need more than that.”  _ Well, at least he seems happier and more relaxed than he was earlier.  _ After they ate, Levi let the boy be as he started to clean up. 

 

Eren went to the freezer, then sat on the counter, humming to himself. After a few minutes, he started to sing softly. 

 

_ “Fly me to the moon _

_ Let me play among the stars _

_ Let me see what spring is like _

_ On Jupiter and Mars _

 

_ In other words: hold my hand _

_ In other words: baby, kiss me.” _

 

Levi’s eyes widened as he heard the boy’s voice drifting across the kitchen. He turned, watching the boy as he sat on the counter with a pint of ice cream, swinging his legs as he sang, pausing as he took bites. Levi leaned against the counter, sipping his drink and watching the beautiful boy as he sang. 

 

_ “Fill my heart with song _

_ And let me sing for ever more _

_ You are all I long for _

_ All I worship and adore _

 

_ In other words: please, be true _

_ In other words: I love you.” _

 

“Oh, that’s it?” Levi grinned as Eren’s head shot up, cheeks flushing dark red.  _ Hm, did he really not realize I was still here?  _ Levi walked away for a moment, returning with his phone and plugging it into the dock on the counter. He pressed play on a song, taking the ice cream from Eren and carefully pulling him off the counter. He wrapped his arms around the boy’s waist, supporting him as his knees buckled beneath him.  _ For sure had too much. Three was too many.  _ As the music played, Levi danced through the kitchen with the brunette, singing the words softly in his ear. 

 

_ “Today I may not have a thing at all _ _   
_ _ Except for just a dream or two _ _   
_ _ But I've got lots of plans for tomorrow _ _   
_ _ And all my tomorrows belong to you _ __   
  


_ Right now it may not seem like spring at all _ _   
_ _ We're drifting and the laughs are few _ _   
_ _ But I've got rainbows planned for tomorrow _ _   
_ _ And all my tomorrows belong to you _ __   
  


_ No one knows better than I _ _   
_ _ That luck keeps passing me by, that's fate _ _   
_ _ But with you there at my side _ _   
_ _ I'll soon be turning the tide, just wait _ __   
  


_ As long as I've got arms that cling at all _ _   
_ _ It's you that I'll be clinging to _ _   
_ _ And all the dreams I dream, beg, or borrow _ _   
_ _ On some bright tomorrow they'll all come true _ __   
  


_ And all my bright tomorrows belong to you.” _

 

Eren rested his head on Levi’s shoulder as the song came to an end. “Thas a good song, Lebi… I like that one… ‘s even better when you sing it.”

 

Levi smiled and started to lead the boy toward the bedroom. “Come on, babe. I think it’s time for bed.” He tucked the boy into bed, kissing him on the forehead as he started to fade. “Goodnight, Eren. I can’t wait to spend all my tomorrows with you. Love you, babe.”

 

*               *              *

 

As Eren and Levi filled their days, the summer passed quickly. Levi’s days began with research, often with Eren opting to tag along rather than stay home alone. As he made progress on his thesis, the boy would watch anime or listen to music, constantly stopping Levi to show him a scene or a song he was particularly fond of. In the evenings, they would make dinner together; Eren was becoming a very capable hand in the kitchen. After they ate, they would relax, enjoying each other’s company before bed. When the days began to bleed together, Levi would take Eren somewhere new for a day trip, just to get away for a bit. 

 

Without anything weighing them down and without anything to worry about, the days turned into weeks, and before either of them had realized it, it was the middle of July. School would start in just over a month, and Levi’s research had become his top priority after Eren.

 

Levi yawned as he wrapped up for the night, placing a quick call to Eren so he could come pick him up.  _ Seven already? I didn’t mean to stay this late… I’ll have to make it up to Eren somehow… _ Tossing his bag over his shoulder, he headed downstairs to find a better place to wait for Eren to get there. As he was walking across campus, he noticed someone familiar walking toward him.  _ Shit… I thought Papa had taken care of everything when I got out… What is he doing here? Well, I guess I’ll have to deal with this on my own.  _ He started to speak but stopped the second the man reached for a gun.  _ Oh, fuck! Not now!  _ Levi reacted as fast as possible, shifting as the shot was fired. He gasped as a bullet ripped through the right side of his chest, the overwhelming pain bringing him to his knees.  _ Fuck… bad… this is bad…  _ He glanced down, watching the crimson stain spreading over his chest before tasting something metallic and warm on his tongue. Blood dripped from the corner of his mouth as he collapsed onto the pavement. 

 

Eren pulled up to the parking lot where he had agreed to meet Levi, noticing a crowd and the flashing lights of an ambulance and police cars.  _ What on earth happened? I hope everything is okay…  _  Police were talking to witnesses and pushing people away from the center of the chaos where paramedics were working on someone on a gurney. Eren fought back the sinking feeling that was growing deep in his stomach. As the paramedics shifted, he saw a familiar head of black hair through the thinning crowd.  _ No… That’s not him. That’s not Levi.  _ He ducked through the crowd, pushing to the front of the throng of people, only to be stopped by an officer just as he reached the ambulance. 

 

“Sir, I’m going to need you to back away.” Eren couldn’t hear the officer as his eyes locked on a pale face laying on the gurney in front of him. Blood soaked the man’s chest and seeped from his mouth.  _ No… Levi… No, no, no, no…. _ The paramedics worked quickly, trussing him up for the ride to the hospital. Eren’s eyes widened as he watched blood sputter from Levi’s mouth as he coughed violently, his breaths ragged and wet. 

 

Levi coughed, struggling to get even the smallest bit of air around the blood on his tongue, choking on the warm liquid. Eyes widening as he fought to breathe, he scanned the scene before him.  _ I don’t want to die… not yet… Eren… _ He was scared. Nothing could change that save for one person, and that person was the last person he wanted to see him now.  _ I wish I could see him, but… No… I don’t want him to remember this… _ As the paramedics turned the gurney to load him into the ambulance, his eyes caught sight of wide ocean eyes at the front of the crowd. _ Oh, god, no… Please, babe… Fuck! Why are you here? Why are you seeing me like this? _ He could hear his name as he watched the boy’s lips move, the two disconnected in his foggy mind. 

 

“LEVI!” Eren screamed the second their eyes met.  _ Not that he’ll respond… not with all that blood… Oh my god… Levi.. So much blood.. How did this even happen? Why! I need you… _ Eren felt a familiar panic rising in his chest.  _ No! Not now! Get it together, Jaeger! You have to stay calm!  _ He forced a calm on himself as he watched Levi being loaded into the ambulance. 

 

_ Not good… I’ve never been injured like this before… I’ve never been so close to… No. I can’t die...This isn’t happening. I’ll be back in bed, holding him in my arms soon… This isn’t real, it can’t be. I need him… I can’t die…  _ Levi started to cough again, his breathing nearly nonexistent. As his head passed the doors, he caught one more glance of Eren’s beautiful face.  _ His beautiful eyes that I could drown in… His perfectly tan skin… That ridiculously messy mop of hair that I spend more time brushing out of his beautiful face than admiring… God, he’s beautiful… My beautiful Eren…  _ As his consciousness quickly faded to black, there was only one thought in his mind.  _ I didn’t want him to see me die…  _


	27. Somewhere, A Clock is Ticking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo! So Suprise for everyone! Grace and I will be going on a trip tomorrow, so our lovely shippers get the new chapter a day early! Hurrah!
> 
> Make sure to let us know what you think in the comments! Love you all!
> 
> ~Akira

Eren watched as the ambulance doors shut with a finality that he’d never experienced.  _ Stay calm… Stay calm… I can’t get to Levi if I don’t stay calm…  _ His eyes followed the boxy white vehicle as it took away the love of his life. He raced back to the Q7, climbing in and following the ambulance.  _ Thank god people are staying out of the way. It makes this easier.  _ However, once he was out on the street, it became harder to stay close. He fought to keep the ambulance in sight as he was forced into normal traffic patterns, always keeping the lights in view. For a moment, the ambulance started to disappear, panic again surfacing.  _ No, not yet. I can’t do that yet. I have to stay calm so I don’t fucking crash Levi’s car. He’d be upset. I can’t let the first thing I tell him be that I crashed his fucking car… _ Eren managed to quell his panic once more, allowing his false sense of calm to rule. 

 

Once he parked, the brunette stepped onto the pavement, panic again resurfacing. He took a moment to breathe.  _ No, not now. Levi, I have to be strong for Levi. Not yet. I will  _ not _ be this weak. Just go inside; find out where they took him.  _ He straightened his shoulders, using his full height as he walked up to the first desk he saw and asked about Levi Ackerman. He had to fight back the desperation that welled when they had no information to give him yet. 

  
“I’m sorry sir, they must have just brought him in. I don’t have anything in the system yet.” 

 

“Well, can I see him at least? Please?” 

 

“No. I’m sorry, sir. Please have a seat over there in the waiting room. We’ll let you know once we have any information we can release.” Eren huffed and made his way over to a seat, plopping down. He tried to play on his phone to pass the time, getting up and pacing after sitting for half an hour. Finally a nurse appeared, asking for Eren. “Mr. Ackerman has been taken to surgery. That’s all I can tell you. I do suggest that you move to the surgery waiting room. That’s where they’ll look for you when he’s out.” Eren thanked her after she gave him directions and raced off down the hall. 

 

It had been hours with no real word. All he knew was that Levi was in surgery for a punctured lung. He had managed to keep his false calm, refusing to allow the ever present panic to take over.  _ Oh god. No one has told Maman and Papa yet!  _ Eren pulled out his phone, hands shaking as he found Maman’s contact. Dialing the the number, he sat listening to the ringing before a sleepy voice answered. 

 

“Hello? Eren? What is it, dear?” 

 

Eren didn’t trust his voice. He cleared his throat, hoping he didn’t sound too distraught. “M-Maman? Y-yeah… It’s Eren… I know it's really late, but… I um.. I have to…” He swallowed as he thought of how to word his thoughts. “L-Levi’s in the hospital… Something happened on campus and… well.. He -” He broke off as a sob escaped him, emotions taking control for the first time all night.  _ No, I can’t yet, not now. Keep calm, you have to be strong, Jaeger. No other option. No one else can do this but you. Think of Levi. You have to do this for Levi. He needs them here.  _ “He was shot… In the chest… but he’s in surgery right now… I’ve been here since 7:30 last night, and I haven’t really heard anything yet… I needed you to know… He needs you.” Eren heard muffled sounds as Maman woke Papa and relayed the message to him. 

 

“Eren, dear, do you know how bad the shot was? Do you know who it was that shot him? How much longer before we have news? We’re getting the pilot and the jet ready, we should be there… well it’s 2:00 right now, so we should be there by 6:30 at the latest. What hospital are you in?” 

 

Eren sorted through the rapid fire questions, answering one at a time. “I don’t know for sure… But… He.. he was coughing up blood… there was so much blood… They took him into surgery for a punctured lung, and I haven’t heard anything else yet… I don’t know who shot him because I wasn’t there...” He swallowed as his throat threatened to close on him. “I should have been there… why wasn’t I there…” He fought back the tears welling in his eyes as he tried to give Maman the rest of the answers she wanted. “I was coming back to pick him up from research, and the ambulance was already there… I hope they tell me something soon…. It’s been so long…” He took a shaky breath, Maman’s soft voice soothing him through the phone. 

 

“I’m sorry for all the questions, Eren. I’m sure you’re overwhelmed right now, but you’re doing so well. None of this was your fault, do you hear me? This was just an accident. We’ll be there soon, and we’ll help you both get through this. Now, which hospital did you say it was?”   _ As soon as I’m off the phone with him, I’ve got to call and get a private room for Levi.  _

 

_ Damn, I forgot one… Great job being thorough, Eren.  _ “Sh-Shiganshina General… I’m in the surgery waiting room, in case you get here before they let me in to see him…” He waited for Maman to let him know she had the information before saying goodbye. The two would have to pack and leave for the airport soon anyway. 

 

Around 3:00 am, a doctor came through the waiting room doors asking for anyone for Levi Ackerman.  Eren stood on shaky legs and slowly approached the man, wary of the situation and the news he was about to receive. “Well, good news. Mr. Ackerman came through surgery well, and he’s resting now. He was shot in the right side of his chest. Just missed his heart, but it did puncture his lung. We were able to repair it, but he’ll have to stay in the hospital for the next four to seven days. He’s been out of surgery for a while. We wanted to make sure that he would be able to breathe without assistance before we allowed visitors.” 

 

Eren only half heard the information after hearing that Levi had made it through. The brunette was led to Levi’s room. He lingered outside for a moment, taking a deep breath before gripping the handle and swinging the door open. Levi was laying in a bed that looked much too large for him, wrapped up tight with multiple tubes connected to him. Eren’s eyes locked onto the monitor, watching the man’s heart rate.  _ That’s his heartbeat… he’s still alive… he’s so pale though… he looks like a ghost.  _ Eren slowly approached the bed, not sure what to do. Pulling a chair from the corner of the room and placing it next to Levi, he sat and let his eyes wander over the man’s small form. He had wires coming from his chest, an IV taped securely to the back of his hand, and a cannula beneath his nose ensuring he had enough oxygen. 

 

Eren finally allowed himself to think, his emotions finally taking over as he lost the will to control them. All the panic, fear, and heart wrenching worry from the last eight hours hit him all at once, launching him into a severe panic attack. The brunette doubled over, laying his head on the bed, his breath already nearly gone.  _ Oh fuck… I haven’t had one this bad since I was living with Dad… _ He whimpered as his throat closed on him, any breaths he managed to draw in rattling in his chest. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying desperately to stay awake. His chest was tight as he gripped it with one hand, the other holding the edge of the bed near where Levi’s hand was resting. After a few moments, he felt his consciousness slipping. Just as he was giving in, there was a light touch on the hand gripping the bed. 

 

“Breathe…” There was a voice so small and rough that Eren was surprised he even heard it at all over his own desperate gasps for air. The quiet command was just enough to keep him conscious.  _ Please… work… He’s awake… I have to stay awake… I just need to see him… Let me see his beautiful eyes open again… Please… _ He worked through the tightness in his chest, forcing air into his lungs, shaking as tears fell from his eyes. The faint touch continued, stroking his hand lightly. It took several long minutes before Eren was able to raise his head, breath finally normalizing enough to focus his efforts elsewhere. As he opened his eyes, tears still falling, he met tired silver slits, barely open, tears leaking out of them as well. 

 

_ Oh god… Levi… don’t cry…  _ “L-Levi…” Eren whispered. His tears fell freely as he slowly sat up and stood on shaky legs to sit on the bed. Even that effort was a lot, and he collapsed a bit as he sat, still catching his breath. He took a trembling hand and ran it across Levi’s cheek, brushing the tears away. Levi watched him with worry on his tired face.  _ No, no, no, don’t worry about me… Just worry about you... _  “No, I’m okay. Don’t worry about me, please. Worry about yourself,” Eren sniffled as he fought to bring himself back under control. “I mean, you just got fucking shot, for Christ's sake.” Eren lost the fight as he broke down, too tired to be strong at this exact moment. 

 

Levi raised his hand and tugged weakly on the bottom of Eren’s shirt. _ Lay down with me. I’m too fucking exhausted to say that out loud; my throat and my chest are killing me. Take the hint. You need to rest, too. That was bad. I’ve never seen it get that bad, even when you’ve passed out.  _ Levi tried to look pointedly at Eren and then at the space next to him, but the boy’s eyes were shut.

 

Eren felt the tugging instead and looked at Levi through his tears, figuring out what the man was trying to say. “A-Are you sure? What if I hurt you?” Levi shook his head slightly and tugged again. Eren carefully shifted on the bed so that he could lay down next to Levi, timidly curling around the man, careful to avoid any injured areas. “Is this okay?” 

 

Levi nodded weakly and took Eren’s hand, finally letting himself drift back to sleep now that his brat was breathing next to him. Before losing consciousness, he felt a feather light kiss on his cheek. He fought to open his eyes one more time before sleep took him, glancing at Eren who was watching him with concern on his face.  _ You missed, brat.  _ Levi slowly raised the hand holding Eren's to the boy’s lips. Eren took the hint. He leaned over and kissed Levi gently, then laid back down at his side, finally allowing himself to relax. In moments, they were both asleep, each exhausted in their own right. 

DAY 1

 

The morning came too early, bright light filtering in through the windows in Levi’s room. Eren felt the man sleeping next to him, instantly on alert so that he wouldn’t move wrong and hurt him. He gave Levi a once-over, satisfied that he was okay for the moment. As Eren was sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he saw a familiar face in the window of the door. Eagerly, he got up and met the pair of figures as they came into the room. 

 

“Eren,” Maman whispered, pulling him into a hug. She smiled at him before moving past him into the room with Papa, going to Levi’s bedside. Eren followed, taking his place in the chair he had pulled up last night. “Do we know anything more than what you told us last night?” She asked quietly. Eren shook his head, trying to wake up. He had slept lightly, constantly checking to make sure he didn’t roll over or shift in a way that would hurt Levi. He yawned, leaning back in the chair while Maman and Papa quietly fussed over their son. 

 

Several minutes later, Levi cracked open his eyes. He saw his parents as they came into focus, both hovering over him. “Hi,” he managed in a gravelly voice. He was still exhausted, and his throat was still sore from all the coughing last night. 

 

Eren glanced up when he heard Levi speak, sighing with relief that the man was awake and okay.  _ Thank god, he woke up. I was so scared that he wouldn’t... _

 

After a few minutes of doing his best to reassure his parents, Levi looked around for the face that he was missing. Finally finding Eren in the chair at the foot of the bed, he stared him down until the boy met his gaze, Eren having zoned out.  _ Geeze, kid. Your eyes are so tired. I know I’m exhausted, but I just got shot. You shouldn’t look that tired.  _ Maman and Papa saw the boys exchanging looks and decided to go hunt down Levi’s doctor to get more information from him. When the door shut behind them, Levi patted the bed next to him. Eren got up from his seat, yawning again as he sat next to Levi. Tears leaked from his tired eyes as he looked at the man. “It’s okay,” Levi whispered. Whispering seemed like the best way to go at the moment. “Why didn’t you sleep?” Before Eren could answer his question, a nurse bustled into the room and shooed Eren off the bed so she could check Levi’s vitals. 

 

“I-I’m sorry.” Eren shrank back to his chair, scooting it further away and sitting down. He waited while she did her work, glad when she left. He moved back toward Levi, but in another moment, Maman and Papa were entering with the doctor. Eren moved away again, trying not to get in the way. The doctor asked if everyone here was family, to which Maman gave a resounding “yes” before going over to Eren and standing him up to listen with the group. 

 

Levi’s injuries were not as severe as they had originally thought. His surgery had minor complications, but they had repaired his lung well and estimated that he would only be hospitalized for 4-7 days, depending on his recovery. He looked at Eren when he outlined the hospital’s visitation policy, but Maman quickly informed the doctor that if any of them should be allowed to stay overnight, Eren should. The doctor rolled his eyes a bit, clearly judging the boys’ relationship, but he didn’t argue. When he left, the four settled in, Maman and Papa talking to Levi for the next couple of hours. They all tried to include Eren, but he wasn’t following the conversation very well. He couldn’t focus, his exhaustion and panic from the previous night catching up with him.  _ Just act normal, they can’t know that I didn’t sleep, I can’t worry anyone. They need to focus on Levi. _

 

Levi slept for the majority of the morning and afternoon, every so often being woken by a nurse who wanted to check something on him. Every time he was forced to open his eyes, he looked for Eren.  _ I’ll be okay. I’ve got everyone here looking out for me. He needs someone taking care of him, too. From the looks of it, he didn’t sleep at all last night, and I haven’t seen him eat anything today… And then there was that panic attack… He’s always exhausted after those, and that one was really bad.  _ The next time Levi woke, it was 4:00, and Maman and Papa were at their hotel room, unpacking for the next few days. Levi once again scanned the room for Eren, finding him in his chair, head resting on his closed fist. “Eren?” Levi’s voice was slowly returning. Eren looked up, surprised to hear Levi speak. “You look like shit.”

 

Eren rubbed his tired eyes and laughed weakly. “You should look in a mirror. At least I have a skin tone.” He made his way over to the bed and sat next to Levi when prompted. 

 

“Not much of one right now.” Levi took Eren’s hand and rubbed the back of it, trying to hold eye contact with the boy. “Did you sleep at all last night? Have you eaten?” 

 

Eren’s cheeks flushed as he dropped his gaze. “I tried to sleep last night, but I was too afraid I would hurt you… so no, not really…” 

 

Levi waited when Eren avoided his second question. “And…? Did you eat anything?” Eren shook his head, still not meeting Levi’s eyes. “Eren, we didn’t eat last night. We were going to eat when I got home. So you haven’t had food in over a day. Please, babe. You  _ need  _ to eat.”

 

Eren took a deep breath, finally looking back at the man in the bed below him. “I couldn’t… I was so worried last night, and it took everything I had not to panic when they took you away… And then again, in the waiting room, I didn’t let myself panic because I had to call your parents, and I had to make sure you were okay… And then when I finally saw you… I couldn’t control it…. I -” Eren stopped as he tried to control his emotions. His exhaustion was making that difficult. 

 

Levi understood what he meant, reading between the lines of his emotion-fueled rambling. “So, you’re saying that there’s no way you could have eaten yesterday and this morning.” Eren nodded, taking deep breaths. The man squeezed his hand, trying to soothe him as best he could in his current condition. “How about now? It’s been a while since then… If I had Maman bring you food, would you eat it?” 

 

“I can try… If it will make you feel better...” 

 

“Also, you need sleep. I’ve never seen an attack as bad as the one last night; and you’re exhausted after normal attacks… And then you didn’t get any rest earlier… kid, you’ve got to take care of yourself. I know you’re worried about me, and I’m thankful I have you around to care so much, but you’re not allowed to ignore your needs and only focus on mine. Got it?” Levi closed his eyes for a moment.  _ God, that speech took it out of me. Please tell me you paid attention, babe. I can’t say all that again.  _

 

Eren nodded, watching as Levi surrendered to unconsciousness.  _ He’s out. Maybe I should try to eat… and sleep… but what if something happens while I’m gone?  _ Eren decided against leaving, instead taking his place in the chair by Levi’s bed. He watched the man for a long time, eyes glazing over. He was brought back to reality by Maman and Papa coming through the door. Maman asked about Levi before coming over and crouching down beside Eren. 

 

“Eren, how are you holding up? You look a little worse for wear. Are you hungry? I could take you to get some food.” Maman looked hopefully at the boy, deflating a bit as he shook his head. 

 

“No, I’m okay. Thank you, though. I think I’m just going to stay here with Levi.” He leaned back in the chair to illustrate his point. 

 

Maman knew he was fooling himself, but she allowed him to stay where he was. After a couple of hours, Maman and Papa left for the evening. On their way down, Maman grabbed a nurse and asked if a cot could be brought up to Levi’s room for Eren. The nurse obliged, setting up a small cot against the far wall. 

 

When Eren saw the bed being made, he knew it was Maman’s doing.  _ I guess I could try to sleep…  _ When it had gotten decently late, he removed his shoes and crawled into the cot. He fell asleep quickly, but his dreams kept him from sleeping well. They were all about Levi with blood on his chest, sputtering before falling limp and being loaded into an ambulance, Eren watching as he sped out of sight.

 

DAY 2

 

Levi was awake before Eren the next day. He managed to change the settings on his bed so he could see around the room, spotting Eren asleep on the cot in two-day old clothes.  _ We’re fixing that today.  _ He watched as the boy slept fitfully, eventually shooting up when his dreams took a bad turn. Eren panted, eyes flying around the room until they landed on Levi’s face.  _ Poor kid. He hasn’t had bad dreams in so long…  _ “Eren, come over here. I don’t like seeing you that scared, and I can’t help from here.” As soon as Eren was close enough, Levi pulled him down on the bed with him, kissing his forehead and rubbing the arm that he could reach. “It’s okay, Eren. You’re okay. Did you at least get to sleep some before the dreams started?” 

 

Eren waited a few moments before shaking his head. He didn't want to lie to Levi, not when the man could so obviously see his exhaustion. “No… I tried though… How about you? You look a little better than you did yesterday. Your face is regular pale now instead of glow-in-the-dark.” He smiled when Levi shot him a look.

 

Levi bypassed Eren’s concern and instead focused on his own. “Did you eat after I passed out yesterday?” He watched the brunette’s face as he tried to avoid the question. “Eren, you need food. Now. As soon as my parents get here, I’m having Maman take you home. You need to eat and sleep.” Levi paused, deciding on another item to add to the list. “And you need a shower.” He smiled when Eren’s head shot up. 

 

“I didn’t even realize… I completely forgot about that…” He smelled himself and took note of the two day old clothes he was still wearing. “Yeah, I’ll fix that.” Levi chuckled. Eren started getting up, self-conscious now that he knew he smelled less than fresh. 

 

Levi frowned, pulling him back down. “And just where do you think you’re going?” He looked at Eren, instantly reading the uneasiness on his face. “Eren, I didn’t mean you smelled so bad that you had to get up. Please don’t go yet. When my parents get here, I’m making you go take care of yourself, so stay until then.” Eren sunk back down into the bed. He picked at his clothes until Levi reached over and laced their fingers. “Stop. You’re fine, Eren. I didn’t mean to make you self-conscious.” 

 

Eren relaxed a bit and examined Levi as they talked. He did look better. His skin had more color than it had yesterday, and he seemed to be able to move and talk more easily. He cut Levi off before he could comment on their conversation. “How do you feel? You look a little better. Does it hurt?” Eren lightly traced his fingers over the bandages on Levi’s chest, tears unwillingly welling up in his eyes and spilling on the blanket. 

 

_ Oh, babe. You need rest. I bet I feel better than you do at this point.  _ Levi brushed Eren’s tears away with his fingers and held the boy’s face for a moment. “Eren?” 

 

Eren sniffed, wiping his other cheek and trying to get control of himself. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just kind of can’t calm down. Everything feels harder these past couple of days.”

 

Levi’s chest was aching, and it had nothing to do with the 9mm hole that had been ripped through it. “It’s because you’re fucking exhausted, babe. And also starving. You’ll feel better later, I promise. You've been doing a great job making sure I’m okay, but I’m officially taking those duties back from you for a while. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. Please, just take care of yourself, and then I’ll let you fuss over me all you want for the rest of my hospital stay. Deal?”

 

Before Eren had a chance to answer, Maman and Papa bustled into the room, greeting the boys and taking seats around Levi’s bed. “Good morning, you two,” Maman started. “Any big plans today? Rock climbing, bungee jumping… Levi, I know how much you love the air. Today might be a good day for skydiving.” 

 

Levi sighed as deeply as he could at Maman’s comment. “You’re in a good mood today, Maman.” He rubbed Eren’s hand as he watched the boy’s eyes widen. 

 

“Of course I am! My son is acting much more like himself today from the looks of things.”

 

“Actually, I did have plans for today, if you’re willing.” Maman moved closer to Levi, listening. “Can you take Eren home for a while?” He ignored a pointed glare from Eren before continuing. “He hasn’t eaten in almost two days, and he hasn’t really been sleeping here.” 

 

Maman looked at Eren with concern, immediately wrapping him in a hug. “I would love to. Whatever you need. Either of you.” She pulled back from Eren and looked at him as she said the last part. 

 

Eren tried to argue that he was really fine and that he had slept enough last night, but no one was buying it. They could all see how rough he looked. “Fine. I’ll go, but I’ll be back soon. I’m really okay.” Maman stood and walked toward the door with her purse, ready to go whenever Eren got up. The boy slid to the edge of the bed, letting his feet touch the floor and standing quickly - too quickly. As Eren’s body adjusted to the sudden change, the room tilted and began to spin. He wavered for a moment, hearing Levi calling his name, before his knees buckled and he felt himself fall. Suddenly, he was in strong arms, Papa keeping him upright as he closed his eyes and tried to make the spinning stop. 

 

“Papa, is he okay? What happened?” Levi tried to sit up, but stopped when pain shot through his chest.  _ God fucking dammit! I can’t even help him!  _ He did his best to hold still so it would stop, his only concern the boy who was being supported by his father. 

 

Eren gripped Papa tightly, taking deep breaths as his head took its time to calm. When the dizziness had subsided for the most part, Eren opened his eyes, looking around Papa at Levi’s wide, anxious ones. “I’m fine, Levi. I’m sorry. I just… got a little dizzy for a minute. It’s going away. I’m okay.” The boy stepped away from the man holding him and sat back on the edge of Levi’s bed again. 

 

Levi laid his hand on Eren’s thigh. “That’s it. You need to eat. And sleep. Maman? Please make him go do those things.” Levi smiled softly at Eren when he looked in his direction. “Sorry, kid. I have this thing where I like when you’re able to function in your everyday life without getting dizzy and passing out.” Eren gave him a disapproving look but didn’t argue when Maman helped him slowly stand and guided him out of the room. 

 

In the hallway, she kept an arm around him, wary of how unsteady he was. She led him down to the main lobby and out into the parking lot where she and Papa’s rental car was parked. After Eren was safely in the passenger seat, she started the car and headed toward the boys’ apartment, per Eren’s directions. 

 

Once Maman and Eren left, Levi turned to Papa. “This was planned. I recognized the asshole. It was some younger kid. I think he had just joined when I moved away.” Levi gave Papa the description and all the information he remembered about the kid. “Take care of it, please. I’m sure he’s still here. I don’t care what he tries on me, but I can’t let anything happen to Eren. He’s probably trying to make a name for himself by bringing me down.” 

 

Papa gently brushed Levi’s bangs out of his face, concern on his brow. “I’ll take care of it, son, but worry about yourself. Eren is useless without you around. You should care about what they try. If you’re not safe, then you can’t be there for Eren. I see how much you mean to him; you know that he wouldn’t make it long without you. I’m sorry that you’ve gotten pulled back into this.”

 

“I know… I can afford to not worry right now though. He’s safe with Maman. If anyone tries anything, she’s scarier than either of us, and Eren knows where my gun is.” 

Papa chuckled, quickly agreeing with his son about Maman’s abilities. “Yes, she’s quite the spitfire when she’s worked up. I wouldn’t dream of crossing her. I pity the fool that even thinks of trying anything with her around.” With that, he ducked out of the room to take care of the shooter.

 

_ I hope Eren’s doing what I asked… This will all be so much easier if he’s eating and sleeping. _ Levi sunk into the bed, wincing as he shifted the wrong way.  _ Fucking hell. What the hell did he have to go and shoot me for? This fucking hurts!  _ He growled as he tried to relax, pressing the button to increase his morphine drip, dozing as the painkiller kicked in. 

 

As soon as they were through the door of the apartment, Maman commanded Eren to take a shower and put on something comfortable while she made them some food. The boy obliged, actually excited to get in the shower and clean up after the last couple of days.  _ Oh, my god…  _ Eren let the hot water fall over him, thinking that it might actually be the best feeling in existence.  _ I needed this. Levi was right. This is so worth it.  _ After his shower, he put on clean clothes, throwing his dirty ones in the hamper and stopping short when he smelled what Maman was making.  _ Shit. Levi was right about that too. I don’t feel that great… I’m so hungry.  _ He left the bedroom and followed the scent, quickly figuring out why the food smelled so tempting. “Did Levi tell you to make that?” Eren watched as Maman filled a plate with a large amount of chicken provincial and set it on the table with a fork and knife. 

 

She acted like she hadn’t heard him. “Eren! You’re just in time. Are you ready to eat, dear?” Eren nodded and slid in the chair by the plate of steaming food. He waited until Maman had sat down as well with a small amount of chicken before digging in. 

 

After the first bite, Eren gave in to hunger. He couldn’t eat as much as he normally 

did, but he finished most of the plate before pushing it away. “I’m sorry, Maman. I can’t eat anymore.”

 

She looked at his plate and gave a soft smile. “Levi did tell me that this was one of your favorites. He said if I made it, that you would eat enough for a family of five.”

 

Eren blushed, his gaze dropping to the table. “I normally do… I’m just not as hungry with everything going on. I sort of forced myself to eat more of that than I wanted to already…” 

 

Maman nodded, understanding. “It's okay, Eren. You ate, and that was one of our two goals for today. Now it’s time for the other one. I’ll clean up; you go lie down. Judging by your eyes, you haven’t slept a decent amount since before Levi went into the hospital.” To illustrate her point, Eren let out a wide yawn, unable to hold it in. Maman got up from the table, taking Eren’s hand and leading him away from the kitchen and into the bedroom. She went over to the bed, pulling back the covers and adjusting the pillows before sitting the boy down on the edge. “Sleep. I’ll be reading in the living room if you need me for anything.” 

 

Eren relented, yawning again as he got under the covers and let his head rest on the pillow.  _ I was wrong.  _ This  _ is the best feeling in the world. I will never get over this cloud bed.  _ In a few minutes, he was asleep. 

 

Even though he was clean, well-fed, and comfortable in his own bed, Eren wasn’t able to stay asleep for more than a few minutes at a time. He woke constantly, frustration taking the place of relaxation. After two hours of fading in and out of consciousness, he gave up. He left the bed, going to the bathroom and then out to the living room to find Maman. 

 

She was reading on the couch, her tablet in her hand, when Eren came into view. “Eren? It’s only been a couple of hours, dear. Are you sure you got enough-” she stopped when she saw his still-exhausted face and slumping posture. “You couldn’t sleep, could you?” Eren shook his head, curling up for a moment on the couch next to her. She rubbed his arm as he yawned again.

 

“I tried. I really tried. But I kept waking up. Can we… can we just go back to the hospital? I ate, and I showered, so I do feel better. I’ll try to sleep tonight.” Maman gave in, rising off the couch with Eren and getting her things to leave for the hospital.

 

When the pair walked back into Levi’s room, they found no Papa and Levi awake, looking extremely bored. He looked over at them as they came in the door, taking in Eren’s appearance. “I thought we agreed that you would sleep, Eren.” Eren went over to the bed, laying down next to Levi and closing his eyes.

 

“I tried. It didn’t happen. But I showered and ate, so you can’t really complain.” The boy immediately relaxed as he laid beside the man, their shoulders touching. Eren laced their fingers, feeling like he had been away for too long. 

 

_ Like hell I can’t complain. You still look like shit. What the hell, Maman?  _ Levi kissed Eren’s cheek. “How much did you eat?”  _ I told her to make chicken provincial so that you would eat like you normally do. It better have worked… _

 

“He ate almost a full plate.” Maman answered the question as she sat in the chair at the end of the bed, watching the boys. 

 

“That’s it? He didn’t even finish one plate?” Levi shifted his gaze to Eren. “Kid, I’ve seen you clear four plates. And that’s when you  _ haven’t  _ been skipping meals for two days.” 

 

Eren kept his eyes shut, enjoying the rest. “I tried... I tried to do everything you told me to… I couldn’t eat anymore. Eating and sleeping seem like such huge jobs right now… I’m sorry, Levi.” He took a deep breath and tried to relax against Levi, Levi giving in and letting him lay there.

 

_ Maybe he’ll get some sleep now… and at least he ate something. And showered. He really did need to do that.  _ Levi let himself drift off as well, Maman watching over them as they napped. 

 

After about an hour, Maman’s phone rang. Papa needed help. Seeing that both boys were soundly asleep, she stepped out and met him outside.

 

The first thing that Levi felt when he woke was a sharp pain in his chest. It was different than the pain from the healing gunshot wound; it was in a different place, and it only got worse when he tried to breathe through it. As he tried and failed to control the pain, Levi’s breaths started coming in shorter gasps. He panted, anxious, looking around the room for Maman but not seeing her. Eren was still asleep at his side.  _ Eren, wake up… I need help… something's wrong…  _

 

Eren was actually sleeping for the first time since the night before Levi had been shot. He was warm and comfortable, feeling Levi’s familiar form at his side. As he laid there, he registered movement in the back of his mind. He felt Levi shaking and heard his breath come faster.  _ What? What’s wrong?  _ Eren forced his eyes to open, immediately meeting Levi’s panicked gaze. He sat up, trying to register what was happening.  _ He’s holding his chest… and breathing really fast.. he looks scared… is this panic? Is he having a panic attack? He looks like he is…  _ “L-Levi? What is it? Panic attack…?” Levi shook his head, trying to get Eren to understand that something was seriously wrong. Before he could try to speak, he began to cough. Eren jumped back in surprise when the man’s coughs produced a pink, foamy substance. 

 

_ Oh, my god. That’s not a panic attack.  _ Eren jumped up, grabbing Levi’s hand and trying to help soothe him as he reached for the call button. He slammed it down over and over again as Levi struggled, still gasping as he coughed up the strange mucus, his other hand tight against his chest and tears streaming down his face.  _ Dammit! Get your asses in here! My boyfriend can’t fucking breathe!  _ Eren gave up on the button, releasing Levi’s hand and sprinting out the door, trying to find someone who could help. He met the nurse who was responding to the call in the hallway. “He can’t breathe! And he’s throwing up something pink… please, help him! I don’t know what to do to help him!” Eren tried to follow her back into the room, but she shooed him away, instead bringing other hospital staff with her. Eren tried to enter the room again, but the door was shut in his face as they team worked on Levi. 

 

Maman walked up, carrying coffee. Seeing Eren as he was thrust out of the room, she rushed over, peering through the window and watching the team swarm her son’s bed. “What the fuck happened? He was fine! Eren, did you see what happened?” She tried to go in, but was also rushed back out the door. 

 

Eren was slightly startled at Maman using the work “fuck,” but he quickly brushed it off and tried to answer her as best he could. “We were asleep… I felt Levi moving, and I could hear his breathing get bad, so I woke up… I thought he was having a panic attack.. That’s what it looked like. But he said that wasn’t it… and then he started coughing up this pink stuff, so I pressed the call button and ran out into the hallway… and then everyone came rushing into the room. They kicked me out.. I don’t know what’s happening…” Eren felt hot tears leave his eyes as he watched what he could through the window. 

 

The two got flashes of Levi as the doctors and nurses worked on him. He had a breathing mask over his face as he struggled. Something was shot through his IV. Several minutes later, the door was opened again, and Levi’s doctor emerged. He took Eren and Maman over away from the door as other people moved in and out. He explained that Levi had had a pulmonary embolism, or a blood clot in his lung. He explained how common they were and that as long as the anticoagulants continued working, Levi should be fine. This shouldn’t set his recovery back by more than a day or so. Maman listened attentively, asking questions and trying to understand every aspect of the situation. Eren did not.

 

He went back to the doorway, seeing nothing but Levi’s once again translucently pale face as he breathed with much effort. He watched the mask on the man’s face cloud with breath, then clear, then cloud again. Tears still trailed down Levi’s face, the effort of breathing and the pain associated with the embolism still present. 

 

Levi’s eyes were focused on the ceiling, but when the door started opening and closing, he shifted his gaze toward where he knew his brat had been rushed out. Eren was there, watching him, anxiety coloring his expression.  _ Eren… You’re there… I’m still breathing… We’ll be okay… I just need to focus on you and keep breathing…  _ Levi’s eyes remained glued to Eren as he let his lungs expand painfully and then contract, over and over again.  _ Fuck, this hurts… Stay right there… Please... _

 

Eren watched him, watching the rising and falling of his bandaged chest. “Breathe…” he whispered. “Just breathe… inhale… exhale…” He breathed with Levi, trying to make sure that he stayed calm as well. 

 

Levi watched as Eren mouthed the words that he had uttered so many times. He watched the boy’s chest moving along with his strained breaths.  _ He’s breathing for me… or for himself… either way, it’s helping. God, I love you… keep doing that…  _ Levi’s heart rate monitor slowed to a more normal pace, his breaths coming more easily as he relaxed slightly. Several minutes later, his room was opened back up for Maman and Eren. 

 

Eren shot through the door the instant he was allowed, cautiously approaching Levi’s bedside and taking the man’s shaky hand in his own trembling grasp. “I’ve got you... Y-You’re going to be okay.” Eren leaned his head down to Levi’s cheek, kissing the tear stains. “I love you so much… please keep breathing for me… I need you to keep breathing....” Levi nodded faintly, new tears leaking from his eyes.

 

Maman came to Levi’s other side and held his other hand. She kissed his other cheek as Eren had and smiled down at him. “Your doctor says that while this looked incredibly scary, you’re going to be just fine. They put you on anticoagulants to keep more clots from forming while you’re recovering.” 

 

Eren looked away from Levi and addressed Maman, alarm evident on his face. “More clots? Why would more clots form? I thought it was just this one time…” His anxiety instantly increased as he imagined this happening again. He wasn’t sure he could do this again without having a panic attack. And if he panicked, who would help Levi breathe? Eren’s own breaths started to grow shallow as he let his thoughts take over, his eyes unfocused. 

 

Levi shot Maman a look when Eren’s breathing changed.  _ Help him. I can’t right now. I can barely keep my eyes open. He needs someone to calm him down… he’s too exhausted to have an attack without passing out right now.  _ When Maman met his gaze, he raised his eyebrows and stared hard at the brunette beside him, now slightly hunched over as he drew his shallow breaths. 

 

Maman noticed Eren after Levi’s direction and moved to his side, enveloping him in a tight embrace and murmuring to him as he struggled. “Eren… Levi will be just fine, don’t you worry. We won’t let anything happen to him… he’s very important to all of us - you, me, and Papa.” She began rubbing the boy’s back as she felt him shake. “Sweetheart, it’s okay. Try to breathe deeply for me… good, just like that. I’ve got you. You’re safe, and Levi’s safe too. Shhh, good job, Eren.” She continued holding him as his breathing normalized. When it had, Eren gripped her tightly, not wanting to let go just yet. 

 

Levi watched from the bed, thankful when Eren was breathing more normally.  _ Good. I honestly don’t think I can stay awake any longer... I’m about to pass out… I didn’t want to leave him like that.  _ His eyes drifted closed as his body gave in to exhaustion. 

 

Eren glanced over to Levi as he passed out, checking his monitors just to make sure it was okay. He let Maman lead him over to the chair in the room and sit him down. She then told him she would be right back and left the room for a moment. When she returned, she had another chair. Eren had no idea where she had gotten it, but he was glad she was planning on being there for a while. She settled in with her tablet and began reading, keeping an eye on her sleeping son and Eren. Eren sat back in his chair, watching Levi breathe. He felt his eyelids grow heavy. In moments, he gave up the fight, letting sleep win.

 

Eren awoke several times in the few hours he sat there, the last time jolting awake after a disturbing dream about Levi and blood clots. His eyes snapped open, taking in his surroundings. Maman and Papa were sitting with Levi who was awake and had his bed in an upright position. He looked much better than he had earlier.  _ Good… the medicine they gave him must have helped. He has a little more color now. _ It took Eren a moment to realize that all three were staring at him. “What is it? Is everything okay?” Eren sat up a bit and rubbed his face, trying to wake up. 

 

_ What is it, my ass. You looked like you were having a horrible dream.  _ Levi spoke up first. “Well, I feel a whole lot better than this afternoon. Anticoagulants are miracle drugs… and they found the guy who shot me… we won’t have to worry about him again.” Levi exchanged a meaningful look with Papa before continuing. “So everything with me is okay. How about you? You looked like you were having a nightmare right before you woke up…” Levi looked at Eren with concern.

 

“N-No, I’m okay… I’m sorry I fell asleep… I should have been awake when you woke up…” Eren retreated a bit, feeling guilty that Levi had woken up after such an ordeal, and he had been asleep. 

 

_ He’s sorry he fell asleep? What the fuck? He needs so much sleep right now, it’s not even funny. It sucks that he had to have those dreams fuck with that…  _ “Eren, it’s okay. You needed sleep, and Maman and Papa were here.”

 

As he spoke, his parents stood from his bed, Papa speaking first. “We should head out for the night and let you two settle in. Take care of him, Eren.” He gave Eren a kind smile and his shoulder a light squeeze before heading to the door. 

 

“Sleep well, boys. Call us if anything happens. Anything at all, alright?” She kissed Levi on the cheek and then did the same with Eren before following Papa out the door. 

 

The two sat in silence for a moment, Eren keeping his eyes downcast and Levi watching him. “Babe…” The boy slowly looked up at Levi, his fingers picking at the fabric of the chair. “Please get your ass over here so I can lay with you. I could try to come over there, but I don’t think that would end well. Plus, we won’t both fit. And it looks fucking uncomfortable.” He waited, Eren not moving just yet. “Please? You can bring more than your ass if you want. I kinda like your lips too…” He smirked as Eren blushed, then rose from the chair to come and sit next to Levi in the bed. 

 

Eren carefully positioned himself next to the man, shoulders touching. He relaxed a bit at the proximity. Turning his head, he brought his lips to Levi’s and spoke against them. “These lips?”

 

“Those very ones.” Levi moved in a bit and kissed him, willing him to relax and go back to sleep. “Please try to sleep again. Maybe you’ll be able to sleep better here than in that chair.” He took Eren’s hand and laid his head on the pillow, watching the brunette. 

 

Eren laid his head back with Levi’s, not wanting to do anything to hurt the man.  _ Not when there could be more clots… No more clots… No sleeping. Not if I can help it…  _ He kept his eyes resolutely open, staring at the wall across from him. 

 

“I’m going to fall asleep in a minute, so please, promise me you’ll try to sleep too. I hate seeing you so out of it. You haven’t relaxed in days.” Levi yawned as he finished speaking. He let his eyes fall shut, his head lolling onto Eren’s shoulder as his consciousness slipped away. 

 

_ I’ll sleep when you’re home. I promise. But until then, I’m not risking it.  _ Eren let his head rest on top of Levi’s, listening to the man’s breathing.  _ That sound is the most important thing in my world right now. He’s the most important piece of my fucked up life. I can’t let anything happen to him... _


	28. Help Me Close My Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for new chapters!! I really hope this copied over correctly since I did it from my phone today!
> 
> Remember, comments keep the authors from going hungry! Let us know what you think!

DAY 3

 

The night found Eren desperately trying to stay awake, failing several times as he laid with Levi. He was grateful when the sun peeked over the horizon and flooded the room with light. It was always easier to stay awake when there was sunlight. Levi awoke a few hours later, taking note of Eren’s obvious lack of sleep. When Maman and Papa arrived for the day, Eren excused himself, saying he had missed a call from Armin and needed to return it. Once outside, he set off for the parking lot, finding the Q7 and starting it. He needed some good liquid energy, and he wanted it from his favorite ball of sunshine. 

 

Eren focused hard on the drive, not wanting to do something stupid just because he was tired. Thankfully, the hospital wasn’t far from the coffee shop, and he got there in just a few minutes. He carefully made his way inside, stumbling over the curb before making it into the cafe. 

 

Armin greeted him, taking in his appearance. “Eren! Um… are you okay? You look kind of… terrible.” He came around the counter as the brunette slumped into a seat. 

 

Eren’s head shifted a bit from all the movement. “Hey, Armin. Yeah, I'm okay. I'm sorry I haven't been in for a few days… Levi’s been…”

 

“Yeah, I know. It was on the news, and Erwin heard about it from a guy who was there that night. How are you holding up? Can I do anything?” He sat down next to Eren, laying a hand on his shoulder.

 

“Actually, yeah. What's the strongest drink you can make? I'm kind of exhausted. I need as much caffeine as you can give me. And I might need it more than once…” Eren looked hopefully at the mushroom.

 

Armin nodded, standing up and heading back behind the counter. “I can make you a triple red eye if you want. It's basically just a bunch of espresso trying to masquerade as a designer coffee drink. It's disgusting, but it will definitely help you wake up.”

 

Standing, Eren made his way to the counter. “It sounds perfect. Is it big? I kind of need a lot…” 

 

“Yeah...” Armin looked over at the eager brunette. “But if I give it to you, you have to eat something with it. This much espresso will seriously screw with your stomach. Did you eat anything today?” 

 

“Not yet…. How about I take a croissant?” Eren picked up one of the fresh rolls, looking questioningly at the blonde.

 

Armin gave him flat look. “How about you take three?” Eren agreed, grabbing two more rolls and reaching for his wallet. “No, it's on me. Tell Levi we’re thinking of him. I’ve wanted to visit, but the cafe’s been crazy lately.” 

 

“Don't worry about it. If it helps, he sleeps most of the time anyway. Odds are, you would have missed him.” He smiled weakly and took the drink that was offered to him along with his croissants. “Thanks. I really needed this.”

 

“All three, understand? Eat all of those. I wasn't kidding about it screwing with your stomach.”

 

Eren nodded and ducked out the door, going back to the Q7 and sitting inside. He took a bite of one of the croissants before buckling his seatbelt and checking his phone which he’d left on the seat next to him.  _ Four texts? Oh… _

 

**Levi:  I thought you were just calling Armin. Where did you go?**

 

**Levi: You better not be passed out somewhere from exhaustion.**

 

**Levi: Eren Jaeger, you answer me right fucking now.**

 

**Levi: Are you okay? Maman went to look for you, but she didn't find you.**

 

**Eren: I'm sorry. Yes, I'm fine. I went to get some coffee and see Armin. He says to tell you that he and Erwin are thinking of you. I’m heading back now.**

 

**Levi: Please tell me the next time you go somewhere like that. My heart can't take it. And please be careful driving. You’re exhausted, and don't think you had anyone fooled this morning when you pretended not to be. I'm telling you, the second I'm out of this hospital, I’m getting you in bed myself.**

 

**Eren: Oh really? I thought the doctor said no strenuous physical activity for at least 3-4 weeks…?**

 

**Levi: …**

 

**Eren: ;D**

 

Ten minutes later, Eren walked back into Levi’s room, coffee in hand. He had the last croissant in his mouth; the first two hadn't lasted long. “Hi…” he smiled sheepishly at the man in the bed, speaking around the roll stuffed in his mouth. He sat on the edge of Levi’s bed, chewing and swallowing before taking a large swig of the steaming cup of Black Death he held in his hand. He made a face as he swallowed the bitter drink, coughing briefly and looking up at Levi.

 

“What the fuck is that? I could smell it when you were in the hall. Did Armin just heat up a shit ton of coffee beans and grind them into a smoothie with some lighter fluid as a binding agent?” He gave Eren a suspicious look, not sure if he liked whatever it was his brat was drinking. 

 

Eren dodged his question. “Where did everyone go? I thought Maman and Papa were here.” 

 

“They went to get you some clothes and make breakfast. They’re bringing food back for you, which you will be eating. And don't change the subject. What are you drinking?” Levi adjusted his bed so it was sitting up a bit more, leveling his gaze with Eren’s.

 

Eren looked down at the cup in his hand. “It's just coffee…” Glancing back up at Levi’s withering stare, he elaborated. “It's a triple red eye I think. I told Armin I wanted something strong. It smells like that because it’s made with espresso instead of regular coffee…”

 

“‘Made with espresso?’ Kid, that thing has got to be straight espresso. Let me see it.” When Eren shook his head, Levi continued. “You shouldn't be drinking that. It's not good to drink that much espresso at once; it's really bad for basically your entire digestive tract. You may end up feeling like shit if you drink all that.”

 

Eren took another swig, this time gagging on the intensely bitter flavor. “Tha-” Eren interrupted himself with a brief round of coughing “…that’s why Armin made me eat three croissants. He said the same thing.”

 

_ I always end up liking that kid more than I think I will.  _ “Good. Smart kid. But really, babe, can you throw that out? What you  _ need _ is sleep, not more caffeine than the human body can safely handle.” Levi tried to gently take the cup, but Eren held firm.

 

“No. I can't sleep. I'm not even going to try again until you’re home.”

 

Levi’s eyes widened.  _ Excuse me? Like hell you aren't. I won't be released for at least two more days. There's no fucking chance you’re skipping sleep for two more days. You won't be able to function.  _ “Nice. That almost sounded convincing.” 

 

Eren pointedly ignored him.  _ And what exactly are you going to do about it? You're kind of bedridden, babe.  _ He continued sipping his drink, making a face almost every time he had to swallow. 

 

Levi watched him, rolling his eyes.  _ The effort it’s taking just to watch him drink that shit is ridiculous.  _ He and Eren talked, passing time, while the boy finished his lethal pick-me-up and perked a bit. By mid-morning, Maman and Papa were coming back through the door armed with food. They handed Eren a sizable portion in a storage container, still hot. 

 

Eren picked at the food, not feeling like eating. He kept his gaze down as he ate small bites, knowing Levi was watching him like a hawk. After finishing about a fourth of the container, he replaced the lid and set it down. Levi’s face took on a worried expression. “I’m fine, Levi. I’m just really not hungry. I ate earlier, remember?”

 

“Not enough…” Levi said quietly. He settled on just keeping an eye on the boy as the four spent the day together, getting updates on Levi’s condition and passing time. They were told that tomorrow would hopefully be Levi’s last day with them. He would be on painkillers for a while, and he would need help with normal tasks until his chest pain subsided, but he could return home after tomorrow.  _ Oh, thank god. Eren needs to relax and rest… He’s been high strung since I was brought in. He’s got to be about to crash at this point.  _

 

That evening, Levi insisted that Maman take Eren home again so that he could shower and try to sleep. She obliged, leaving Papa with their son for the night. 

 

Back at the apartment, Eren picked at the food Maman made him, then showered and headed to bed. He had no intention of sleeping. He tried convincing Maman to take the bed since he wouldn’t need it anyway, but she refused, saying that she knew the couch was comfortable since she had bought it. Halfway through Eren’s sleepless night, his exhaustion got the better of him. He was able to rest for less than an hour before his dreams took over, causing him to sit up, breathing hard.  _ Damn… I fell asleep again. I just need to calm down… calm down, Eren… then you can get on your phone and play a game or something to keep you awake…  _ It took several minutes, but Eren was able to regulate his breathing. When he had, he got up and padded to the kitchen to get a drink.

 

Maman looked up from her spot on the couch. She had woken up and was reading again until she got tired. “Eren? Are you alright? It’s awfully late, and I know you need sleep.” 

 

“I’m fine... Just thirsty… but I can’t sleep. I keep having dreams, and I don’t want to fall asleep anyway. I might miss something…” Maman got up from the couch. When Eren had his water in hand, she steered him away from the kitchen and back to the bedroom, sitting him down on the bed and taking a seat beside him. 

 

“You really do need sleep, dear. You’re beginning to look like the walking dead. I’m going to sit with you for a while and read. You can fall asleep or not fall asleep, but you’re going to rest if it kills both of us. Otherwise, I think Levi might.” With that, Maman retrieved her tablet and turned the brightness on low before getting on the bed and leaning against the headboard. She waited until Eren had taken his place in the middle of the bed, then wrapped her free arm around him, his head resting on her  shoulder. She didn’t say anything, just let the boy lay there. When she got tired, she put her tablet away, leaning back and dozing off with Eren still curled up next to her. 

 

DAY 4

 

The morning didn’t arrive fast enough for Eren. He had slipped into sleep unwillingly several times, but each time had jerked awake after only a few minutes. Maman soothed him, trying to get him to give in to his exhaustion, but to no avail. After force feeding Eren a few bites of breakfast, she allowed him to get up, and the two made their way back down to the car. “Maman? Can we stop somewhere on the way?” She nodded and asked for directions, Eren leading her to the coffee shop. He walked inside while she waited, asking Armin for another triple red eye to get him through the morning. 

 

“Another? Are you sure? Those things are honestly pretty disgusting. I’m surprised you want one after yesterday.” Eren confirmed, Armin turning to get the drink started. “Did you eat anything yet? Or do I need to load you up with breakfast breads again?”  _ Please don’t lie either, Eren. I get the feeling you don’t understand how much this stuff can mess you up on an empty stomach... _

 

“I ate with Levi’s mom at the apartment. Promise.”  _ Yeah, I think I ate three bites. Oh, well. I’ll be fine. It still counts. _ The boy smiled as Armin handed him the drink, paying and then heading back to the waiting car. Maman eyed the drink but didn’t say anything, opting to leave it alone as she turned back onto the main road and took them back to the hospital.

 

Papa was sitting with Levi when the two re entered the room, talking about something in hushed tones. “Good morning, Eren! Good morning, my lovely wife!” He left Levi and came over to the two, kissing Maman on the lips and letting Eren have full access to Levi. 

 

Eren sidled up to the bed, sitting down and kissing Levi softly on the lips as as Papa had done. “Good morning, my lovely boyfriend.” He sipped at his drink as Levi looked dubiously at the cup. 

 

“I thought we decided that you wouldn’t be drinking that again.”

 

“I don’t remember ever saying that.” Eren looked at the man innocently as he coughed softly, trying to swallow around the bitterness. 

 

“You didn’t sleep again.” Levi brushed Eren’s hair back and examined his face, paying particular attention to the obscenely dark circles under his eyes. Eren avoided the statement and took another swig of his drink, curling up next to Levi as best he could. Levi didn’t argue.  _ At least you’re cuddling with me. Maybe I can get you to sleep a little bit later. _

 

A half hour later, Eren had finished his drink, the espresso hitting his mostly empty stomach hard. He started shifting next to Levi, trying to control the pangs of pain in his abdomen. The third time he shifted, Levi looked over at him, noting the obvious discomfort on his brat’s face. 

 

“Babe? You okay? You look like you're in pain…” 

 

Eren nodded, adjusting again as he tried to take a deep breath. 

 

“You’re lying. What’s wrong?”  _ Usually, these things are blatantly obvious… but he's not acting like he's nauseous or panicking… He’s breathing kind of strange though, and moving around like something hurts. You can see it all over his face… oh, shit. He drank all that damn espresso…  _ “Eren, does your stomach hurt? Did you eat anything before drinking all that?” He watched as Eren nodded, then looked to Maman for confirmation. 

 

She looked pointedly at Eren. “Well, to be fair, he did eat a couple of bites… But no, not really.” 

 

Levi moved his gaze back to Eren. “So you basically ate nothing and then drank a shit ton of espresso?” 

 

The boy didn't respond. Instead, he curled up suddenly, wincing as a particularly strong jolt of pain moved through him.  _ Fuck, this hurts… I can't tell if it just hurts or if I'm going to be sick…  _ Eren breathed deeply again, holding his stomach. “I-” he stopped as his stomach clenched, groaning and sitting up in case the espresso decided to make a repeat appearance. 

 

Levi sat up as much as he could, ignoring the stab of pain he felt in his chest.  _ It’ll go away. I'm on fucking morphine, for christ’s sake.  _ He placed a hand on Eren’s lower back and looked back at Maman. “Can you get him some food? Something to help absorb all that espresso before it makes him sick? Or burns a hole in his stomach, either one…” He quickly backtracked when he saw Eren’s eyes grow wide. “No, babe, I didn't mean it like that. I'm not going to lie, that's a thing. But we’ll get some food into you, and you should feel a lot better. No stomach holes today, I promise.” 

 

Eren nodded, not willing to open his mouth to speak, just in case. He focused on breathing as the pain continued to move through his abdomen, registering when Maman left and came back with a package in her hands.

 

“It’s ham and cheese. I hope that's alright. I got it from the cafeteria, so I can't promise it's good, but it should help.” She opened the sandwich and passed it to Eren.

 

Eren hesitated, eyeing the sandwich as his stomach did flips. 

 

Levi narrowed his eyes at the boy.  _ Okay, brat. Enough is enough. You haven’t really slept since before I was shot, you haven’t eaten a decent meal since that one plate that Maman made you eat two nights ago, and to top it off, you’re filling your body with nearly toxic levels of caffeine in the form of the world’s strongest espresso. You’re eating the fucking sandwich. I’m tired, my chest hurts, and I need you to be okay. Take a fucking bite.  _ Levi took the sandwich, pulling off a small bite and handing it to Eren. “I  _ need _ you to eat this. You going through this hurts me. Please, Eren. I promise it will help. The worst thing that could happen is that you would throw up. And hey, if that happens, the espresso will come with it. Problem solved. No downside. Now, eat this fucking piece of sandwich.” Levi rubbed Eren’s back, watching him closely. 

 

Eren relented.  _ He’s mad… I’m sorry…  _ His stomach hurt too much not to try. He tentatively put the bite into his mouth, chewing slowly and then swallowing. He waited a moment, breathing deeply and focusing on Levi’s hand on his back.  _ Okay… I think I can eat more… it feels a little better…  _ “L-Levi, can I have that?” Eren held out a hand for the sandwich in Levi’s grasp. The man quickly handed it over, relief on his face as Eren wasted no time finishing it. When he had swallowed the last bite, he leaned back into the bed, Levi rubbing his arm. “Thank you. It’s almost gone, I think…” Eren missed being able to lay on the man’s chest. He craved closeness. Turning a bit so he was on his side, he kicked off his shoes and slid under the covers, tangling his legs with Levi’s. He nuzzled his head into his neck, sighing. To his surprise, tears began to slide from his eyes. 

 

Levi heard the boy sniffle and did his best to meld their bodies in the small bed. “It’s okay, Eren… you’re okay…”

 

“I don’t know why I’m crying… I’m sorry I’m making it worse for you… I just wanted to take care of you… you take care of me all the time…” At that point, Maman discreetly pulled Papa away and left the room, leaving the boys alone. 

 

Levi watched her go before turning his face to Eren’s. He went along both cheeks, then his forehead and nose, planting soft kisses as the boy cried. “Oh, babe, you do take care of me. You existing makes me feel better all the time. And I know you’ve been doing what you think is right since I’ve been here, but I’m telling you to please stop and do what  _ I  _ think is right. We’ve tried your way. And I think you’d agree that it’s making you miserable. You need rest, and you need food, and you need to trust that I will be okay. You’re crying because you’re so tired that your body can’t handle its emotions. It’s fine, Eren. Just please, please relax. I’ve got you now.” 

 

He let Eren cry against him for a while before the boy fell silent, sniffling every now and then, but not moving otherwise. The boy’s stomach was still uncomfortable. An hour passed, and Maman and Papa returned with food for everyone. Levi tried to gently nudge Eren into a sitting position, but his charge wouldn’t move. Eren shook his head, keeping his body next to Levi’s. “I don’t want food… I still don’t feel good…” He closed his eyes, hoping Levi would drop the matter.

 

Levi looked down at the boy at his side with concern. “You should really eat something else. You haven’t had nearly enough food these last few days… Please? Do it for me?” Eren continued to shake his head resolutely, clinging tighter to Levi. The man sighed and took his portion of food from Papa as it was offered. He kissed Eren’s head and began eating.  _ Please fall asleep. You really need it… If you’re not going to eat, you should at least be asleep.  _

 

The morning passed slowly and bled into the afternoon. Eren hadn’t moved, nor had he fallen asleep. He just laid, feeling Levi breathing against him. In the early afternoon, more food was brought for the group, but Eren once again turned it down. Levi fought him harder this time, trying to make him sit up and take a bite, but it was useless. The boy was set on just existing next to Levi; it was all he could manage to do at that moment. In the early evening, Eren finally moved. He carefully sat up, Levi helping him as much as he could, and swung his legs over the bed. He stood shakily, his goal the small bathroom attached to Levi’s room. Taking calculated steps, he moved along the wall to make sure he stayed upright and made his way there. When he emerged, he again tried to keep a hand on the wall to steady himself. As he was reaching the bed, a wave of dizziness washed over him, and he quickly lunged for the bed, hands supporting himself as they braced against it. He closed his eyes, willing the sensation to leave.

 

“Eren!” Levi reached forward, placing a hand on the brunette’s arm as he steadied. When Eren opened his eyes again, the man tugged gently on his arm, coaxing him to lie down once more. “Please eat something, babe. You’re not going to last like this…” Eren ignored the request, instead relaxing into his old spot on the bed. They stayed like that late into the evening until Levi fell asleep, and Eren began another night of nearly-sleepless dozing.

 

DAY 5

 

As soon as Levi opened his eyes on the day of his release, he looked down to check on the boy still laying next to him. Eren had his eyes open as well. The veridian oceans were masked by a dull sheen, bloodshot and only half open. There were deep, bruise-like circles under each one, and as Levi gazed into them, he couldn’t be sure that Eren was even aware of him. Levi kissed the boy on the forehead before turning to his parents who were talking quietly by the door. “When can I get out of here? I need to get Eren home.”  _ He’s not going to last like this… If he doesn’t get food and sleep, he’s going to be the one laying in this bed... _

 

Maman approached the bed, kissing Levi on the head and glancing down at Eren. “Very soon. I’ve already started your paperwork, and as soon as your doctor has a moment, he’s going to come by and give us all the information we’ll need to take care of you at home.” She focused on Eren for a moment, running a hand through his hair and addressing him. “Levi will be home soon, sweetheart. And then, you’re sleeping, whether you like it or not. I’m not above holding him hostage until you get at least eight hours, though you probably need much more than that.” She smiled at the brunette before leaving with Papa, going to check on Levi’s discharge paperwork. 

 

The morning passed, and Levi was given all his restrictions and instructions before a nurse came in with a wheelchair. Maman helped him into clothes, then into the chair as Eren slowly sat up beside them and tried to focus on his surroundings. When Levi was ready to go, Papa took control of the chair, Maman moving to Eren’s side and helping him stand. He stood still for a moment, dizzy and disoriented again, but soon went to Levi’s side and took his hand. Levi squeezed the boy’s hand as they slowly  made their way downstairs, Maman walking beside Eren so he didn’t topple over. The boys waited with Maman in the lobby waiting area while Papa brought their rental car around to the front entrance. Eren sunk into a chair, too exhausted to stand any longer, Levi rubbing his back as they waited. When the car was ready, Maman met Papa at the entrance, each taking one of the boys to the car. Levi was carefully placed in the front seat with Maman, Eren taking a spot in the back. When they were settled, Papa left them to drive Levi’s Q7 home as well. 

 

No sooner had Maman started the car and begun to pull out of the parking lot than Levi heard a soft snore come from behind him. Gingerly turning in his seat, he looked toward the back of the car. Eren was passed out, head lolling against the headrest, sleeping soundly.  _ Poor kid. I know I’m the one who got shot, but being in that hospital was far more stressful for him than for me. Please sleep for a while. You’re worse than when you were taking those damn sleeping pills…  _ Levi turned back to the front, letting his brat rest. When they reached the apartment, Papa met them at the car, starting to help Levi out. “Actually, I have a different job for you, if you’re up for it.” Papa looked at Levi inquisitively. Levi turned carefully in his seat and gestured at his unconscious love in the backseat. “Can you carry him? Something tells me he’s not waking up for this…” Papa laughed and opened the back door, gently lifting the sleeping brunette and carrying him beside Maman, who was supporting Levi. 

 

The group made their way into the building and then the elevator, Eren not stirring. When they entered the apartment, Papa headed for the bedroom, laying the boy on the bed and pulling the covers up over him after removing his shoes. He rejoined his wife and son who were busy readying the couch with pillows and blankets. Maman spread all of Levi’s medicines on the coffee table, beginning to fill the pill calendar they had gotten. Levi leaned into the couch, sighing as the morning’s activity caught up with him. As soon as he had swallowed down the pills Maman handed him, he was out, not bothering to pull the blankets back. Maman smiled and covered him with a spare, kissing his forehead and going into the kitchen to make some tea for her and Papa.

 

Levi woke in the evening to the sounds and smells of his parents cooking dinner. He sat up carefully and looked around. “Is Eren still asleep?” 

 

Maman looked up from the counter and nodded, smiling. “He hasn’t moved at all since we got here. I’ve checked on him a couple of times. I don’t think I could wake him if I tried.”

 

_ Thank god. He needed that so much.  _ Levi leaned back again, relaxing now that he knew his brat was finally doing better.  _ It’s that hospital. He can’t handle it… He and hospitals just do not mix, especially not when he thinks something might happen to me there…  _ Levi spent the next couple of hours eating and talking with his parents before he got tired again. When he started yawning, Maman helped him get up and change before letting him slowly make his way to the bedroom, trailing behind him in case he needed support. After ensuring that Levi was inside, she returned to the couch, clearing it off and preparing the pull out bed for her and Papa for the evening.

 

Inside his and Eren’s bedroom, Levi crept quietly to the bed, giving his brat a onceover. The boy was sleeping soundly, limbs splayed out from the center of the bed, obviously not rising anytime soon. Levi eased himself onto the edge of the bed, wincing as his chest moved a bit too much. He took a moment to let the pain fade before sliding his legs under the covers and letting himself lay down and relax. 

 

_ I wish I could pull him onto my chest… or lay on my side and curl up to him… I really want to be touching him somehow…  _ The man settled for intertwining their legs as Eren had done in the hospital. He laced his fingers with Eren’s limp ones and took the deepest breath he could muster, listening to the boy’s even breathing as it lulled him into sleep. 

 

When the sun rose the next morning, Eren rose with it. He squinted against the light coming into the room, groggily sitting up and trying to clear the cobwebs from his mind.  _ Where the fuck am I? What time is it? Hell, what day is it?  _ He heard breathing beside him and looked down to where Levi was still sleeping soundly.  _ I’m home… Levi’s here… Oh my god, I have to pee.  _ Eren slipped quietly from the bed, quickly making his way to the bathroom. After washing his hands, he opted to just shower then so he wouldn’t have to leave Levi’s side when the man woke up. As he washed his hair, he realized how long he must have slept.  _ We left the hospital at noon yesterday. And it’s dawn… I slept for what, 18 hours? Damn... Levi was right. I guess I did really need sleep. I feel a lot better.  _ Stepping out of the shower, he registered something else, stopping for a moment and taking a deep breath as hunger made his stomach ache. He quickly dried off and dressed, tiptoeing out to the kitchen to find food. To his surprise, Maman was awake, sitting on the couch reading. 

 

“Good morning, sleepyhead! You were exhausted; I’m glad you finally got some sleep. Are you hungry?” Eren nodded as he felt another pang of hunger shoot through him. “Papa went to get more food, but there’s oatmeal that I could make for you. I’m afraid the cupboards and fridge are a bit bare at the moment…” She left her tablet on the coffee table and joined Eren in the hunt for food. Setting a small pan of water to boil on the stove, she got oatmeal, maple syrup, and brown sugar out of the pantry and went about making breakfast. 

 

While he waited for the oatmeal, Eren raided the various cupboards where food was kept, finding a pack of Pop-Tarts and half a sleeve of graham crackers. He was munching on them when he heard a muffled yawn from the hallway. 

 

Levi emerged as Eren looked up, slowly making his way to the table so he could sit down.  _ Geeze, these short walks are really taking it out of me. I’m already exhausted just from that…  _ He carefully lowered himself into a chair, watching Eren devour the snacks at the counter. “Hungry, babe?” He tried to chuckle but regretted it as his chest retaliated. 

 

Eren noticed the pain on Levi’s face and moved to get his pain medicine, but Maman beat him to it. She handed Levi a pill and went to get him a glass of water while Eren took his snacks and sat next to the man. He watched anxiously as Levi took it gratefully, swallowing the pill and drinking some of the water before relaxing back into the chair. Eren took his hand, afraid to do more than that. “A-Are you okay?” 

 

Levi looked up at him, meeting his worried gaze. “I’m fine, Eren, I promise. I just can’t do that much yet… But I’m not in any danger. It’s okay.” He urged the boy to keep eating, knowing he was far from full. Eren obliged, finishing his snacks and getting up to look for more. Before he had a chance to open any cabinets, Maman steered him back to the table, a hot bowl of oatmeal in her hands. She went back and got more for Levi before joining the boys at the table with her own portion. 

 

The three ate in silence, Eren far too hungry to talk and Levi still too tired to make much conversation. When he had finished his bowl, Eren went back for seconds, soon discovering that there was no oatmeal left in the small pot. Maman looked over to him, smiling apologetically when he returned empty-handed. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. There really isn’t much left in the apartment after everything this past week. I had to throw quite a bit of the fresh food out, and I hadn’t thought to go shopping until Levi was home.”

 

Eren shook his head. “No, it’s okay. I’m fine…” He stopped talking as he felt his stomach clench uncomfortably before it let out a loud growl.

 

Levi looked up at the noise, sighing. “Eren, you’re fucking hungry. Don’t pretend you’re fine. But I am sorry that I don’t have any food stashed anywhere… I usually keep this place pretty well stocked.” 

 

Maman tsked at Levi from across the table. “Levi, language…”

 

The man looked heavenward for a moment before rephrasing. “Eren, you are extremely hungry.” He shifted his gaze to Maman. “Better?” 

 

“Much.” 

 

“Great.” Levi finished his bowl and moved to get up, Eren quickly grabbing it and rinsing it for him before putting it in the dishwasher. “Thanks. I can't wait until I can move without it being so damn painful…” Maman eyed him. “.... so darn painful…” Eren covered his mouth, his body shaking as he laughed quietly across the room. Levi gave him an amused smile, slowly standing again to move to the couch. Eren was at his side in an instant, letting Levi lean on him as he sank down into the cushions. “Thanks, babe.” He pulled the boy down next to him, missing the closeness they had lost over the past few days. “I know you could still use some food, but how are you feeling besides that? You look a hell of a lot better than you did yesterday…”

 

Eren snuggled up to Levi, happy to be home and not in the sterile hospital room. “Language, babe.” He giggled as Levi glared at him. “Yeah, I feel a lot better… I can't wait for more food though… I'm really, really hungry…” 

 

As if on cue, Papa walked through the door with his arms full of groceries. Eren leapt up to help, Levi smiling at the boy’s enthusiasm. After they had all the bags on the counter, Eren began going through the items, looking for anything he could snack on. He settled on a box of cereal, opening the bag and grabbing a handful. Papa watched the boy, raising his eyebrows. “He’s been starving, and Levi was out of food,” Maman said as she walked over to the fridge. Eren helped put the food away as he munched on the cereal, eventually returning to the couch with the box. Across the apartment, Maman and Papa were heating up the stove, pulling ingredients together for a meal.

Eren craned his neck to see what they were making, quickly recognizing the ingredients for French toast as Papa carried them to the counter. His stomach growled again, and he quickly shoveled in another handful of cereal. 

 

“Exactly how hungry are you, kid? I’m pretty sure they’re making enough to feed an army right now, and you have half of that box eaten already.” Eren looked up at Levi with his mouth full as he crunched the cereal. The man wanted to laugh but settled for an adoring grin, not wanting to hurt his chest again. 

 

“I could finish this box and still eat half of what they’re making,” Eren assured Levi.  _ I’m still so fucking hungry. Note to self: listen to Levi when he’s making sense, even if he’s making sense while lying in a hospital bed with a gunshot wound. I should have been eating more…  _ Eventually, he did put the box down, but only when Levi’s parents called them over for brunch. Eren hopped off the couch, offering Levi a hand to do the same. 

 

“I’m really not hungry; the oatmeal was enough for me… But you go ahead. You can bring it back over here in a minute.”  _ Honestly, I could really go for a nap right now. I’m good on food until this afternoon at least…  _ Eren returned shortly, plate loaded high with French toast, sausage, and a large slice of frittata. 

 

He turned to Levi questioningly. “So, I got some because it looked good, but what exactly is it?” He pointed his fork at the frittata.

 

“It’s pretty much fancy eggs with toppings thrown in. You’ll like it.” He snagged a piece of sausage off the boy’s plate when he wasn’t looking, chewing and swallowing quickly. 

 

Eren turned to him. “What did you just do?”

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

 

Eren examined his plate, giving a mock frown when he realized he was missing a sausage link. “You stole my sausage.”

 

Levi grinned. “Oh, did I?”

 

“Yes.” Eren held eye contact with the man while he took the next few bites, eventually losing focus again and letting his gaze wander. When he did, Levi reached back over. This time, Eren stopped him with his fork, tapping it lightly on the man’s hand. “Thief,” he said with his mouth full. Levi slowly pulled his hand away, grinning again as he sat back and played with Eren’s hair. Eren poked his fork into a piece of the frittata. He carefully brought it to Levi’s lips, gently bumping up against them when Levi didn’t respond fast enough. 

 

_ You’re so fucking cute, I might actually die.  _ Levi parted his lips, accepting the bite before leaning over and kissing Eren. “Do you even understand how adorable you are?” The boy blushed and continued eating, ignoring Levi’s question as the man watched him affectionately. When Eren finished his plate, he went to refill on frittata and get a replacement sausage, holding the latter and eating it as he walked back to the couch. Levi raised his eyebrows at the plate, then looked back at Eren. “I know I told you that guys are bottomless pits, but how are you still eating right now?” 

 

Eren stopped immediately, about to bite the sausage link, gaze drifting down to the floor as he stood in front of the couch. “I… I just…”

 

Levi felt a pang of guilt, quickly realizing what he had just done.  _ Shit. No, babe. I didn’t mean that you had to stop.  _ “Eren, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m happy you have such a good appetite… If you’re hungry, eat. I never want you to not eat because you think you should be full. Finish your food, babe. You’re good. Everything’s fine.” Eren sat down next to him, still not meeting his gaze. “Please?”

 

The brunette took a tentative bite of the sausage link he still held in his hand, chewing and looking over at Levi. “I’m sorry I’m so hungry… I should have listened to you in the hospital…” He picked up his fork, slowly eating bites of his frittata while Levi began rubbing his back. 

 

“You have nothing to be sorry for. You are one hundred percent fine. Eat whatever you want. Anytime you want. I only said what I said because I’m genuinely curious about the logistics of the situation. How. Where are you putting it all.” He poked Eren’s side, eliciting a small smile from the boy. “That’s better.” 

 

Eren leaned against him as he finished his food, sliding his plate onto the coffee table and curling his legs under him. He yawned, letting his eyes close for a moment. “Why am I still tired? I slept forever…” 

 

“Well,” Levi began, “this is just a guess, but it could have something to do with the Pop-Tarts, graham crackers, oatmeal, cereal, French toast, sausage, and frittata you just ate…” He traced patterns on the boy’s arm as he leaned back into the couch, his eyes shutting as soon as Eren’s did. “Maybe just a quick nap. I don’t think I’m going to fight you on that.” Eren smiled against Levi, relaxing into the man as they both fell asleep. 


	29. The Calm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY FOR FLUFFIES!!!
> 
> Please remember to feed the authors comments, they're hungry!
> 
> We hope you enjoy!
> 
> <3 Akira & Grace

The next few days passed uneventfully, Levi spending most of his time on the couch. Maman helped Eren make sure the apartment stayed clean, teaching the boy as they went. She paid special attention to teaching Eren how to cook simple things so the boys wouldn’t starve when they went back to Southampton. When they finally went home, Maman made sure to leave the apartment fully stocked with enough food for the next two weeks and a simple meal plan with specific directions for each recipe. “Now, if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to call me. I’ll be able to walk you through any of these over the phone. I’m sure Levi can walk you through them as well, and it wouldn’t hurt him to move around a bit.” Maman and Papa said their goodbyes, hugging the boys before leaving to catch their flight. 

 

Levi sighed and sunk into the couch. “I love them, but fucking christ, I’m glad we’re alone. I can fucking talk however the fuck I want now. Fuck.”

 

Eren chuckled and leaned over the back of the couch. “Watch your fucking mouth, Levi. Geez.” He grinned as Levi looked up at him with a mixture of disbelief and amusement. 

 

“Oh, I’ll watch my fucking mouth. I’ll watch it say whatever the fuck it wants to, dammit.” His eyes followed Eren as he moved around to stand in front of Levi, straddling his lap. The brunette braced himself against the couch, leaning in and kissing the man gently. 

 

“That’s quite a dirty mouth you have there. Maybe I should clean it up for you.” Eren hovered over the man, a playful glint in his eyes. 

 

“Oh, please do… You know how much I love for things to be clean…” Levi grabbed the boy's collar, trying to pull him closer, but Eren held firm, just out of reach. 

 

“Ah, ah, ah… that’s all you get, babe.” Eren kissed the man on the forehead, sitting back up carefully. 

 

Levi glowered, disbelief on his face. “Babe… Really? You’re really going to leave me hanging like that?” He glanced down at his partial hard on with frustration. “You have to do something about this. You can do that without touching my chest…”

 

Eren smirked and slid off his lap. “Yes. Yes I am.” The brunette sauntered off to the kitchen to start working on lunch. 

 

“Yes what? Yes you’re going to do something about it?” Levi huffed and pulled himself off the couch, slowly following after the boy. 

 

“Yes, I’m going to leave you hanging. Lunch?” Eren smiled sweetly over his shoulder.  _ He’s gonna be pissed at me. But I won’t hurt him, no matter how much he begs.  _

 

Levi sighed and dropped into a chair at the table. “Eren… I fucking love you… but you’re a big bag of dicks.” Eren choked on the drink he had been taking, spewing water across the kitchen as he doubled over laughing. 

 

“Oh my god, Levi, really? That’s the best you can come up with? Really, hon? Anyway, food? I’m hungry.” Finally regaining his composure, Eren checked the meal plan that Maman had left him and pulled out the matching recipe.  _ Okay, this won’t be too bad, just follow the instructions.  _ After making lunch, he brought the plates to the table, setting Levi’s in front of him. 

 

“I'm still not thrilled with you… But this smells good.” Levi took a bite, sighing as he relaxed into the chair. “You did good, kid. This is great.” He watched as a proud smile spread across the boy's face.  _ Oh well… even if he’s being a little prick, he’s trying his best. I know he’s just trying to look out for me… I’ll be patient.  _

 

The next few weeks passed in much the same manner. Eren spent all his time cooking, cleaning, making sure Levi took his medication, helping him bathe while keeping his healing wound dry, and taking Levi on little excursions in and around the apartment to help him get his strength back up. 

 

_ Okay, for fucks sake. It has been almost a fucking month, and this damn hole in my god damned chest is healed. I have been holding back for Eren’s sake, but enough is enough.  _ Levi wrapped his arms around Eren’s waist as the boy was folding some laundry on the bed one night, kissing along his shoulder. “Eren… Babe… Let me make love to you… I miss you so much…” He smirked as he felt a shiver run down the boy’s spine, hands freezing mid action. 

 

“L-Levi… We can’t; you’re not healed yet… It hasn’t been long enough.. Just a little longer…” Eren relaxed when the older man sighed, dropping his head against the boy’s back and letting his arms fall to his sides.  _ I want this just as badly as you do, but I’m not going to let you hurt yourself again. Sorry, Levi… _

 

A few days later, a very sexually frustrated Levi realized that rubbing one out just wasn’t going to cut it. He needed his brat.  _ Okay, time for plan B.  _ Levi waited until Eren was climbing into bed before making his move. Climbing on top of the boy, he pressed his needy erection into the boy’s hips, hungrily kissing along the brunette’s jaw and down his neck. “Eren.. Please..” He growled low against the boy’s ear. He smirked as Eren moaned softly, squirming beneath him.  _ Yes! I’ve got him now. There’s no way he’ll say no… _

 

“No, Levi.” Eren placed his hands on the man’s shoulders, carefully but firmly pushing him away.  _ I’m sorry, not yet. It was too recent… I don’t want to hurt you… Please, you’re making this so difficult… _

 

Levi growled and fell limp against Eren’s hands, the boy letting him fall against his chest. He let his chin rest on the brunette’s shoulder, face pressed into the pillow, muffling his frustration. “It has been almost an entire fucking month… You do know the doctor said three to four weeks, right? It’s been over three… All I want is to have sex with my boyfriend. Is that so much to ask? You can’t hurt me. The damn hole in my chest has long healed. If anything were still going to hurt, it would just be mental.” 

 

Eren sighed, wrapping his arms around the man, rubbing his back and running his fingers through the silky black hair. “I don’t want to risk it… Not when it comes to you… I’d rather wait till you’re 100% better…”

 

_ I know how to make this go in my favor… But I really don’t want to move now… This feels too good. I’ve got to though… if I don’t, he’s literally going to drive me insane.  _ Slipping out of Eren’s arms, he got up out of bed and grabbed his pillow. “Well, that’s fine. We just won’t sleep in the same bed then. I’m going to be on the couch if you need me. If I can’t make love to you, then touching like that is off limits altogether.” Turning and walking toward the bedroom door, he was quickly stopped by a loud thud behind him and a tug on his shirt. 

 

“N-No! You don’t have to sleep in there. That’s stupid! We can just wait. It’ll be fine. I’ll just sleep on the other side of the bed.” Looking down, his voice fell. “B-Besides… I sleep better with you in bed…”

 

“Fine. But if our feet touch, we fuck. No arguments.”  _ I’m dying kid, seriously. I miss you so much, it’s not even funny. If I stay in this bed with you tonight, we are having sex. I don’t care what I have to do.  _

 

“F-Fine… Deal… I just won’t touch you…” Eren crawled into bed, sliding over to the far edge. He curled up to face Levi. 

 

Levi rolled his eyes, watching as the boy let his feet hang off the edge of the bed.  _ Shit, he means it. Oh well, I’ll just seduce the fuck out of him. He can’t say no to me forever.  _ He slipped into bed, getting as close to the boy as he could without touching him, staring into those deep green eyes. 

 

Eren swallowed hard, his face heating up. “Levi… What are you doing…” 

 

“What? Am I not allowed to look at my boyfriend?” He smirked, knowing full well that this was already going his way as he watched the boy's face redden and his breathing pick up. He brushed his fingers down the brunette’s heated cheek, cupping his chin and running his thumb across his soft lips as they parted with a small inhale. 

 

“No… That's not it…. Just…” Eren felt his resolve weakening as Levi showered him with gentle touches under his heated gaze.  _ No… Please be patient… I can't take much more of this…  _

 

Never breaking eye contact, Levi pressed his forehead to the boy’s, heated breath on his lips, cheering mentally as Eren moved his hips closer to his own.  _ That's it, brat… You want this as badly as I do… Just give in.  _

 

Eren struggled as he felt Levi's lips so close to his own.  _ Just a quick kiss… It won't hurt anything… a kiss can't hurt him…  _ He gasped softly as their lips touched, quickly closing the gap again when Levi pulled back. 

 

_ There we go, now we're getting somewhere.  _ He pulled his hand away, now that he had gained Eren's attention, letting it slip down to the boy's chest and fingering at his already hardening nipples through his shirt. Levi tugged the sensitive bud, biting at the boy's lip when he gasped in response.

 

_ Come on now, you're playing dirty. You know those are sensitive…  _ Eren mewled as Levi continued his teasing, his arousal already painfully evident.  _ God, it's been too long since he touched me… I know it's because I keep pushing him away, but… it's for his own good… I think… I don't even know anymore. I'm sure he knows his own body better than I do. _

 

Levi nipped gently at Eren’s ear, whispering in a lusty voice. “You can’t hold out forever. I know all your buttons…”  _ Come on, Eren. I’m going to make you beg for it at this point. You won’t be able to resist me. _

 

Eren slowly pulled his legs under the covers, wanting nothing more than to wrap himself around Levi and get lost in him.  _ Is this a good idea? It’s not too soon, is it?  _ Before he knew it, Levi was tugging the boy’s shirt up, baring his chest. The brunette’s thoughts all ran together into background noise as Levi kissed and sucked at his chest and hardened nipples.  _ Oh, fuck… Why was I arguing about this again? I need more than this… _ “L-Levi… Touch me.. Please… stop teasing…” He whined as he pressed his hips into Levi’s, whimpering as the older man shifted just far enough that he couldn’t reach. 

 

“Ah… I thought you didn’t want this.” Levi said in a mocking tone. “There's just one thing you have to do if you’ve changed your mind….” 

 

_ What do I have to do? I’m confused… Oh… Feet… If our feet touch, we fuck. Right. He’s still letting me have control of this? Really? Oh fuck it, I need him. I’ll just do all the work so he doesn’t hurt himself.  _ Eren shifted quickly, tangling his legs with Levi’s while rolling over on top of him, making sure to support his own weight to keep it off of the man’s chest. 

 

“Well, well, well, someone got needy, didn’t they? Can’t imagine how that must feel.” Levi reached up, twining his fingers in the boy’s shaggy hair as he pulled him down for a heated kiss. The man quickly slipped the brunette’s shirt over his head, then tried to bring the boy’s body down onto his own. 

 

“Careful… I don’t want to hurt you…” Eren fought his demands, keeping his chest off of Levi’s.The older man groaned as he fell back against the bed, pulling his own shirt off. 

 

“Look, it's fucking healed. No hole. I’m fine. Now for the love of all that’s holy, get your damn body down here. I’ve fucking missed you.” He watched as Eren’s eyes widened slightly, barely held back emotion filling the bright orbs. 

 

_ His beautiful body is scarred like mine… He could have died that night…  _  Eren dropped his head gently to Levi’s chest, quiet tears falling as his mind flashed back to that night. Levi on the gurney, blood soaking his shirt, his angel sputtering and gasping for air as he choked on his own blood. Levi’s arms were around him in an instant, his soothing voice pulling him back from the ledge his mind was pushing him over. 

 

Levi kissed the top of the boy’s head, rubbing his back as he fell into a familiar routine. “Shhh… Eren, everything is alright. I’m here. Just breathe, babe. Talk to me.” 

 

“I-I’m sorry… I want this, I promise… I just… I was so scared… Seeing you there that day… I don’t want to do that ever again…” Eren shifted, pressing his lips gently to the scar on the older man’s chest. “I almost lost you… You almost died, Levi… You can’t leave me… You promised…” 

 

“I know, Eren, I know. I won’t leave. I will always fight for you. I didn't die; I’m here with you.” Levi took the boy’s hand and pressed it over his heart, the edges of his scar hiding under the tanned skin, showing just how close he had come to not making it back to his brat that day. “Feel my heartbeat… I’m right here with you.” He pulled Eren's hand to his lips, kissing his palm. “I’m right here, I’m breathing, and I just want to love you. Just let me love you, and trust that everything is alright.” He lifted the boy’s chin, softly kissing away his tears, then pressed his lips to the brunette’s. 

 

Eren felt a calm fall over him, finally more at ease than he had been since that day.  He returned the man’s kiss, allowing the desire he had been holding back to finally surface. The kiss quickly turned heated as Eren nibbled at Levi’s lip, the older man parting his slim lips to let the boy in. He moaned softly into the kiss as Levi ground his hips against the brunette’s. “I missed touching you so much…”

 

“Kid, you have no idea.” Levi growled as he nipped at the boy’s shoulder, fingers tugging at Eren’s waistband. Eren took the hint, quickly losing his pants and gently pulling off Levi’s. “Babe, I promise you won't break me. You don't have to be so careful.” 

 

Eren kissed back up the man’s leg, nose brushing along the inside of his thigh. “Let me be careful… it shows how much I love you.” He ran his hands up Levi’s slim sides as he slowly licked along his length, eyes locked with Levi’s the whole time. 

 

The man shivered at the contact, his desire for the brunette nearly overwhelming him as he watched the show the boy was giving him. “Shit, Eren… I want you so fucking bad right now… Turn around, give me your ass.” He chuckled as the boy gave him a questioning look before obliging his request. Levi sat himself up on the pillows for support, pulling Eren’s hips closer. He stroked the boy’s hardened length as he circled his tongue around his tight entrance, then moaned softly against the boy’s ass when he felt Eren’s hand envelop his own length.  _ Fucking hell, babe…  I’ve missed your touch so much… _

 

“I fucking love hearing your reactions. You’re so unfazed by everything usually.” Eren's voice was breathy, his attention focused on Levi as the man worked his ass. He gasped, back arching when he felt Levi slip in a finger, stretching his tight hole.

 

“Fuck, babe, you’re so tight… I’ll have to help your ass remember what it’s like to have my cock inside it again.” Once he felt he had stretched the boy enough, he gave him a playful slap on the ass, raising an eyebrow as Eren let out a cry of surprise mixed with pleasure. “Oh… You liked that did you? I’ll have to remember that one.” 

 

Eren looked back over his shoulder, cheeks red as he bit his lip. “Y-you don’t think that’s weird…?”

 

Levi gave him a look of disbelief. “Are you kidding me? Babe, I think that’s fucking sexy as hell. Now, get your lips up here and let me kiss you.” The blush on the boy’s face deepened as he shifted, straddling the man’s hips. He leaned in, capturing Levi’s slim lips in a heated exchange as the man took hold of his ass, pressing his length into him slowly. Eren moaned into the kiss as he was filled, his body quickly reacting to what it had so desperately been missing. Levi hissed as he nipped at the boy’s lip. “Fucking hell, Eren. You’re so fucking tight… I don’t know how I’ve lived the last month without your touch. You’re like a goddamn drug…” He started moving his hips slowly, thrusting into the brunette. Eren held himself up with his arms pressing into the headboard, doing his best to keep his weight off Levi, panting as he met the man’s thrusts. 

 

_ Oh my god, I missed this.  _ Eren gasped when Levi wrapped a hand around his length, stroking in time with his thrusts. “A-ahh… L-Levi...I wo-won’t last if you do th-that…” He tightened his grip on the edge of the headboard, biting his lip as his head dropped, focusing on not losing it so soon.  _ No… I don’t want this to be over yet...so fucking good.  _

 

“Then don’t, come for me, Eren….” Levi purred, picking up speed as he neared his release.  _ Fine by me, I’ve waited too long, I won’t last much longer either.  _ After a few moments, both reached their climaxes, Eren collapsing onto Levi as he trembled. Levi panted softly, wincing slightly as Eren’s weight fell onto his chest.  _ Please don’t let him notice that… I don’t need him second guessing this.  _

 

Eren very quickly noticed Levi’s breathing change from after sex panting to pained. He knew the pained breathing better than anyone else. He immediately rolled off to the left, getting off of Levi as quickly as he could. Sitting on his knees, his hands carefully laid on the man’s chest. “I knew it was too soon for this! How bad does it hurt? Do you need any of those painkillers? I think we still have some… or maybe ibuprofen? I’m so sorry… I shouldn’t have fallen on you like that… I should have made you wait…” He gently trailed his fingers over the scar, kissing it softly again. “I’m so sorry… I should have been there.. I could have protected you for once…” 

 

Levi pulled the boy back up on his chest, doing his best to hide his discomfort at the motion.  “Eren, I’m okay. I wanted to do this, and I wouldn’t go back and change it. I’m not in that much pain. It's more of a dull throb. This is nothing compared to what it was.” He kissed the boy softly before continuing. “Babe, you can’t blame yourself for this. I thank whatever god there is up there that you weren’t there in fact. Because I know they would have gone for you first. I couldn’t have taken that, I would rather be shot a hundred times than to see anything like that happen to you. Let’s go take a quick shower so we can get some sleep. You’ll need it for class tomorrow.” 

 

“Wait. What?” The brunette sat up quickly, shock evident on his face. 

 

“Class? The new semester starts in the morning. Have you already forgotten?” 

 

“N-no… Of course I didn’t forget…” He blushed faintly, clumsily crawling out of bed and rushing to the bathroom, starting the shower. Levi chuckled softly and followed behind him, stepping into the shower and wrapping his arms around the boy’s waist. 

 

“Well, you were certainly surprised for someone who’s prepared for school to start in the morning.” Grabbing a washcloth and the soap, he started to wash the tanned boy in his arms. 

 

“I might have not realized that tomorrow was Monday… Maybe…” Pumping shampoo into his hand, Eren started to gently massage the suds into Levi’s silky hair. He smiled softly when the older man ceased moving, closing his eyes as all the tension in his body drained from him.  _ He’s so adorable when he does things like this. It's almost like a little kid.  _ When he was done, he pulled them both under the stream of water, rinsing the soap out of his hair. Eren quickly finished washing himself then washed Levi, kissing the man on the forehead as he swayed. “Come on babe, let's get you back in bed.” After turning off the water, he grabbed a big fluffy towel off the shelf and wrapped it around Levi. He dried both of them off, then helped Levi into some pajama pants before both of them climbed into bed. Eren pulled Levi against his chest, wrapping an arm around his waist as he pulled the covers over them. “I love you, Levi. Sleep well.” He kissed the top of the man’s head, then settled in, sleep quickly taking him. 

 

Monday morning arrived quickly. Levi’s alarm sounded at its regular time as he hurriedly shut it off, rolling over in bed to once again curl up to the boy asleep beside him. “Babe… we have to get up.” He kissed down Eren’s shoulder, moving up to his lips and kissing them as well. “Eren.” No response. “Brat.” Eren pointedly ignored him, keeping his eyes glued shut and his breathing even. “If you don’t wake up now, you won’t have time to eat.” Eren continued his protest, knowing that Levi was bluffing. There was no way he would be allowed to skip a meal on Levi’s watch. The man leaned in, speaking quietly in Eren’s ear. “Okay, last chance. If you don’t get up right now, you lose all sexual privileges until your first exam.” 

 

Eren popped an eye open, furrowing his brow. “You’re bluffing.”

 

“I could be… that’s true… but how can you be absolutely sure?” He took Eren’s earlobe between his teeth, nibbling gently before suckling for a moment. “Are you sure you want to risk it?” 

 

Eren held in the sounds that wanted to escape him, instead focusing on why he would rather not get up on this particular day. “Am I sure I want to risk attending oral com today?”

 

_ Oh. That.  _ Levi released the boy’s earlobe, moving to look him in the face. “Eren, I’ll help you with every speech. We’ll practice until you’re perfect. I’ll even throw rotten fruit if you want.” Levi quickly reconsidered. “Okay, scratch the fruit. That’s disgusting. But I won’t let you fail. You’ll do fine, babe. And it’s just syllabus day anyway. No speeches. Just listening and turning pages.” 

 

Eren reluctantly sat up, rubbing his eyes. “Okay… But… Levi?” 

 

“Mhm?” Levi ran his fingers through the mop of hair adorning the boy’s head. 

 

“What if… What happens if I have a panic attack? What do I do? You have research meetings at the same time as oral com…”  _ I can’t interrupt that… Especially on the first day! _

 

Levi wrapped his arms around Eren, holding him close for a moment. “If you have a panic attack, you grab your phone and call me. I’ll leave my phone on so I’ll hear it. I’ll come get you. See, babe, the thing is… doing research, I kind of decide when I come and go. I would so much rather help you breathe than listen to the other grad students give suggestions.” Eren heaved a sigh, finally moving to get up. Levi released him, watching him wander to the shower before getting up to make them both breakfast.

 

The morning passed too quickly for Eren, and soon the two headed to different buildings. Eren watched Levi walk away longingly as he went to start his research for the day.  _ I really wish he was at least in the same building as me for this class… I don’t want him so far away…  _ The boy found the classroom quickly, hoping he would be able to just sit in the back and be invisible. What he hadn’t counted on was the layout of the small room. At the front of the room was a podium with a projector and screen set up for the speaker. However, the desks were arranged along the walls of the room, no more than two desks deep, all set on swivels so you could keep your eyes on the speaker at all times. Eren felt his pulse pick up a bit. He sat in the farthest seat from the podium, keeping his head down and trying to make sure he stayed calm.  _ This class is going to be the death of me. I’m going to die of a heart attack while everyone swivels around to stare at me… _

 

Other students filed in, followed by the professor. He seemed nice enough, but Eren had no intention of liking this class in any way, shape, or form. As the syllabi were passed around, Eren began to zone out, used to hearing the university-mandated phrases and policies. What broke him out of his stupor was the professor saying the words “speech” and “today” in the same sentence.  _ Wait. What? WHAT? No, no, no, no… you have got to be fucking kidding me.  _ He soon learned it was no joke as students were called to the front to share basic information about themselves at the podium. It was all simple and casual, but Eren didn’t care.  _ No. I can’t do that. I haven’t practiced… What do I even say about myself? Hi, my name is… EREN. Oh, my god, my name is Eren, and I fucking forgot. Levi, help…  _ He briefly considered coming down with a surprise case of Scarlet Fever, but his planning was interrupted by his name being called.  _ Fuck.  _ He stood slowly, breathing becoming shallower as he made his way to the podium. He turned, facing the small crowd, all swiveled in his direction.  _ Oh, god.  _ “Hi, I-I’m Eren… um…” He felt his chest tighten a bit. “I’m a junior…” His chest worsened, his heart thudding as he drew breaths more quickly than was necessary. “I… I’m sorry… I-” At that point, he felt legitimate panic begin to rise. Quickly leaving the podium, he retrieved his bag at his desk and headed out the door.  _ Shit… shit, where can I go? I’m fucking panicking… I knew it…  _ He found an empty stairwell and opted to just sit there, his hand clutching his chest as his breathing quickened. Wrapping his hand around his phone, he poised his thumb over Levi’s contact but stopped himself.  _ If I can’t handle a fucking introduction speech, how the hell am I going to make it through this class? Levi can’t know I panicked over this… It’s too pathetic… I know he would say he doesn’t care, but I care. I’m not calling him.  _ It took Eren a few minutes to calm himself down from the mild attack, but he was able to stand and breathe somewhat normally before too long. 

 

Eren waited until he would have been getting out of class before heading over to meet Levi. The man was deep in a stack of paper, his laptop in front of him as he typed furiously. Eren stood in front of him, watching him, the man not seeming to notice. After a minute, Eren set his bag down and moved to Levi’s side. 

 

Levi finally noticed that he was no longer alone, looking up and smiling as Eren sat down beside him. He felt the boy lay his head on his back and heave a sigh. “You okay? How was class? I see you survived at least.” 

 

_ I don’t know about that…  _ “It was fine, but I’m kind of tired. How long do you think you’ll be here today? You seem really busy…”

 

“Unfortunately, I am. I’m sorry, babe, but I think it may be a late day for me. You can take the car if you want and pick me up later.” 

 

Eren thought about it, then shook his head. “No, that’s okay. I think I’ll walk. It’s nice outside, and I want the time to… decompress… after that class.” Levi nodded, knowing that the boy had likely experienced some anxiety, even if it was mild, from being in his speech class for the first time. 

 

“Up to you. But if you walk, please be careful. I love you.” 

 

“I love you, too.” Eren kissed Levi on the cheek before standing and plodding out of the room, heading for home. Leaving campus, he yawned.  _ Levi’s going to know something happened… I’m fucking exhausted… and I just volunteered to walk home… Ugh, I just want to lay on the couch and not move.  _ Passing a convenience store, he stopped.  _ Actually…  _ Five minutes later, Eren emerged with a tube of cookie dough in his hands.  _ Actually, I want to eat this whole tube of cookie dough. I’d prefer alcohol, but I can't do that. Levi wouldn't trust me with it again… Maybe I can have some when he gets home…  _ As he entered the apartment, Eren dropped his bag and moved to the couch. Peeling the top off the dough, he pulled off a large piece and popped it in his mouth, groaning as the taste hit his tongue.  _ Good decision.  _

 

It was a couple of hours before Levi was able to tear himself away from his stack of papers. He gathered his things, walking to the Q7 and starting for home.  _ Today was so much more stressful than I thought it would be… I can't wait to just have Eren in my arms. He's the best stress reliever.  _ After parking, Levi made his way up to the apartment, stepping inside and closing the door before looking around for the boy. “Eren?” He took one more step before seeing movement on the couch. “Hey, kid. How about I make us some dinner, and then we can just…” He stopped. Eren was laying on his side on the couch, limbs spilling over the edge, with an almost fully-eaten tube of cookie dough in his hand. He was staring at the tv, but he didn't look like he was actually paying any attention to the screen. Levi moved over to his side, brushing the hair out of his face and examining his expression. “Two questions. One, what happened, because you look like shit. Two, what the fuck are you eating?” 

 

Eren peered up at Levi, answering in a pained voice. “I’m going to answer those out of order. Two, I’m eating cookie dough. One, it started out just being a bad day, and then I think the cookie dough was maybe not such a great idea because it's making me feel sick.” Eren shifted on the couch, regretting it when his stomach shifted uncomfortably in response. He groaned softly, taking a deep breath and looking back at Levi. 

 

_ He ate… ew. He ate almost an entire package of raw cookie dough. Oh my god, what if he has food poisoning? Maman was always very careful about raw eggs… salmonella…  _ “We’ll talk about the bad day in a minute, but why the hell would you try to make yourself feel better with raw dough? That can be dangerous.” The man ran his fingers through Eren’s hair as he spoke, trying to make him feel better.  _ Not that that will matter if he has fucking food poisoning... _

 

“You said I couldn't drink when you weren't home,” Eren answered simply.

 

_ Christ, brat.  _ “Okay, now we’re moving on to the other part of my questions. What happened that made you need a drink?” 

 

Eren closed his eyes, trying to focus on the feeling of the man’s fingers in his hair and not on his roiling stomach. “I went to oral com… and the professor made us do introduction speeches…”

 

_ Ah. Okay, that would do it. _

 

“I could barely remember my name… I think I said two sentences before I started to panic… I just left and sat in a stairwell until I calmed down.” Eren took another deep breath, this one not going over as well as the first. 

 

“Why didn't you call me? I thought we agreed that you would call if you had a panic attack.” Levi worried over his brat, rubbing his arm and kissing his forehead.  _ He’s never just not told me when he had an attack… and he has them so rarely now… _

 

Tears leaked from Eren's tired eyes. “I know… I’m sorry, Levi… I just… it was so stupid. There wasn't even a good reason… All I had to do was introduce myself, and I couldn't even do that. It was pathetic…”

 

“No, it wasn’t. You are the farthest thing from pathetic, kid.” Levi tried to move Eren’s head so he could sit on the couch and lay the boy in his lap, but Eren let out a small sound of discomfort when he tried. “Exactly how bad do you feel right now? Scale of 1 to ‘I’m about to throw up, and I should tell Levi so he can get a bucket.’”

 

Eren thought about it for a moment. “Eight. I'm an eight on that scale.” He closed his eyes again, thinking once again how Levi had been right.  _ No more cookie dough. Ever. _

 

Levi gently took the almost empty tube of dough from Eren’s limp hand, throwing it away before retrieving a small bucket and returning to Eren's side. “Just in case. Because that was a 10-point scale.” He smirked as Eren gave a weak laugh, sitting on the floor and continuing to run his fingers along Eren’s arms.  _ Please don’t have food poisoning. I would have to take you to the hospital and they would have to give you an IV and you would most certainly not be cool with that. And then we’d have to deal with hospitals again, and I know you don't exactly do the best in those situations.  _ Levi watched the boy as he breathed and shifted on the couch, trying to stay comfortable. An hour passed before Eren finally opened his eyes and met Levi’s worried ones. 

 

“I don't think I’m going to throw up. It's starting to go away… Can we go to bed? I'm fucking exhausted… I already was before I ate that damn cookie dough.” Levi nodded, scooping Eren up before he could try to stand and carrying him to the bathroom. “W-wait! You shouldn’t do that! Your chest… you’re gonna hurt yourself… I’m too heavy.” 

 

“I can handle carrying you, babe. You’re not as heavy as you seem to think.” Levi sat the boy on the counter, then handed him his toothbrush and toothpaste. “You have to brush your teeth, or they’re all going to fall out.” 

 

Eren laughed, stopping when it made him a bit more nauseous. He brushed his teeth as Levi watched, then timidly wrapped his arms around the man’s neck for the next part of the voyage. “Okay. I brushed my teeth. Bed please. If you really don’t think I’m too heavy...” 

 

Levi smiled and picked him back up, placing him on the bed before grabbing him some pajamas. When they were both dressed for bed, Levi climbed in next to Eren, letting the boy curl up on his chest. “Feeling any better?”

 

“Mhm. You’re the best medicine. You fix everything.” 

 

Levi buried his face in Eren’s mop of hair, taking a deep breath before opening his mouth to speak. “Eren, I don't think I could love you more if I actively tried.”

 

Eren smiled, wrapping his arms more tightly around Levi’s middle. “I maybe could… I don't know… I’m kinda lazy.” Levi laughed and let Eren curl up to him, a comfortable silence enveloping them as they dozed off in each other's arms.

 

Tuesday was much easier for Eren, but Wednesday was a godsend when he got an email that his speech class had been canceled. After sending Levi a quick text letting him know what had happened, the boy headed back to the apartment. After making himself something for an early lunch, he settled on the couch to start eating. Just then, there was a knock at the door.  _ Who the fuck could that be? Who even knows where Levi lives besides his parents and Armin and Erwin?  _ Setting the plate aside, Eren went to the door and opened it slowly. He froze when he saw a familiar face standing on the other side. “Farlan? What the fuck are you doing here?” He asked icily, closing the door slightly. 

 

“I came to check up on Levi. Is that so surprising to you? I heard that he had been shot by some punk in the organization trying to make a name for himself. I also heard that the kid was found dead a few days later.” Eren paled as he connected the dots. “What's the matter, kid? Does that come a shock to you? I would have thought Levi would have mentioned that he’s a killer. Kinda important for your boyfriend to know. Hm, maybe he isn’t as serious about you as I thought.” 

 

Eren forced his shock under control, straightening up to his full height. “Farlan, Levi is fine, and you’re not wanted here. Please leave. I’ll tell Levi that you came by.” With that, he shut the door in the man’s face, sinking to the floor with his back to the door.  _ Killer? Levi? But…  Maybe Farlan is right.. If you’re serious about someone, that's not really something you’d hide… I need to ask Levi about this before I jump to conclusions… I’ll ask when I go pick him up later. _ Getting up off the floor, he tossed his sandwich in the trash, appetite long gone. A few hours later, Levi called him for a ride back home. 

 

Levi climbed in the Q7, leaning over and kissing Eren on the cheek. “Hey, babe! Did you enjoy your afternoon off?” 

 

“Hm? Oh.. yeah..”  _ I’m not ready to talk to him about this yet. I’ll ask when we get home.. Maybe… _

 

“Is everything okay? You seem… distracted.” Levi leaned forward, trying to look the boy in the face while he was driving, brow furrowing in concern. Eren nodded, eyes focused on the road. 

 

Once they were back at home, Eren turned to Levi. Looking down nervously, he crossed his arms, hands gripping at his biceps. “Farlan came by today…”

 

Levi rushed to his side, reaching to check on him and make sure he wasn’t hurt. “What? Why didn’t you call me? What did he want? Are you okay?”  _ I knew something was wrong with him… _

 

Eren pushed him away, backing up slightly. Levi tilted his head, worry and confusion clouding his face. “Farlan says that… He said that you’ve killed people…” Looking up to meet Levi’s gaze, his eyes filled with a silent plea for it to be a lie. “Is that true?” Levi tensed slightly, nodding his head in affirmation.  _ He lied again…. I should have known… Okay, I just need to think… _ His false calm took root as he started to plan.  _ I can’t do this again, and if I can’t trust him, I can’t be with him. If I can’t be with him, then I don’t want to be here anymore. Life isn’t worth the hell I go through without him.  _

 

The rest of the evening dragged on, Levi on high alert as he watched the calm, cool, and collected Eren.  _ Mother fucking shit… I fucked up… What on earth is he thinking? I need to get through to him, but he won’t let me in. _ Every time Eren would go to the bathroom, Levi waited near the door, keeping an eye on the time. When he went to take a shower, Levi just so happened to need to brush his teeth. The man tried to protest when his brat refused to eat dinner, but prayed he had at least eaten lunch and made a silent promise to make him eat breakfast in the morning. His worry increased tenfold when Eren wouldn’t even sleep next to him, the brunette sticking to his side of the bed.  _ Please, babe… I didn’t want this… I would have been clearer if I’d realized… Maybe he’ll be alright in the morning… _ Levi slept little that night, worry plaguing his dreams. 

 


	30. The Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh the feels!!! 
> 
> Please remember to feed the authors comments! 
> 
> And follow us on tumber, Akiramakoto and SeeGraceShip

Eren was still distant the next morning. Levi tried not to push him as they got ready, opting to let the boy have his space and worry from a distance. On the way to campus, he stopped and picked up breakfast for both of them. He kissed the boy softly before watching him walk to class.  _ He didn’t even try to kiss me back… Eren… _ Once the boy was out of his line of sight, Levi turned and walked to his own class. 

 

Eren sighed, dropping the food into the trash can as soon as he walked into class.  _ I have no appetite. Not like it matters if I eat. I don’t need a full stomach where I’m going.  _ After class, Eren met with Levi like normal. The man’s concern rose seeing how distant Eren still was. 

 

Levi grasped the boy’s hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of it. “I love you. I’ll pick you up for lunch after your next class, okay?” Eren nodded, wrapping his fingers around Levi’s hand, then pulling him in close and hugging him tightly, burying his face into the man’s shoulder. 

 

_ I love you so much… I’m sorry, just one more hug… I just want to feel you one more time…. _ Letting go, he turned and went to class, leaving Levi standing shocked in the hall. Sitting just inside the door, Eren ducked out as soon as class started.  _ Okay. I have just over an hour before Levi realizes I’m not here.  _ Walking back to the apartment, he paused outside Armin’s.  _ I could go say something to him… but… he’s too observant though, he’d call Levi. Bye, Armin… You’ve been a great friend. Sorry, but I just can’t do it without Levi… _ As soon as he got home, he immediately went to Levi’s night stand, retrieving the gun and checking for bullets.  _ I guess it's a good thing Levi taught me the basics after Dad…   _ He grabbed his bag and slipped the gun into it before slinging it over his shoulder. When he was ready to leave, he found a pen and some paper. He returned to the nightstand, wrote a single line, and placed his key atop the note with his cell phone where the gun had been. Glancing back at the apartment one more time, he slipped out the door, the lock falling into place with a finality that echoed in his mind as he walked away. 

 

Levi quickly realized that Eren was gone when he didn’t show up at their meeting place for lunch at 12:15. Trying not to panic, he checked with the boy’s professor. He was informed that Eren had come to class but had left as soon as the lecture had begun.  _ Oh god… Please don’t let anything have happened to him… _ Jumping in the car, he raced home, fighting off the mental images of Eren lying on the bathroom floor in a pool of his own blood. He ran through the apartment, not even caring as he left the front door open. Relief filled him for a brief moment as found the bathroom empty.  _ Okay, so maybe he just took a cab to the aquarium or something again?  _ Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he dialed the boy’s number for what felt like the hundredth time today.  After the first ring, a soft song floated in from the bedroom, lyrics singing something about a lifeline.  _ No… why is his phone here without him… _ He quickly followed the sound, his heart stopping as he found the nightstand drawer ajar. The music fell silent as Eren’s voicemail picked up in Levi’s ear. Slowly approaching the nightstand, he pulled the drawer open the rest of the way. His eyes fell on the key and phone, below them a note. The man slowly reached down, fingers grasping the paper as he read the words scrawled in Eren’s shaky hand. 

 

“Until the end.”

 

Levi sunk to his knees in front of the open drawer, realization dawning as he recalled everything he and Eren had said in Southampton. How he needed to be able to trust him, or this wouldn’t work. How he would rather die than live without him. Levi’s hand came to his mouth. “Babe… No… No! Fuck!” He grabbed his phone from beside him on the floor, hastily dialing Papa.  _ I’ll need his help to find him at this point. I can’t do anything when his phone is right here, especially since he won’t go anywhere he knows I would find him. And I don’t know enough about his childhood to know where to even start... _ Levi responded breathlessly when he heard his father’s voice. “Papa! I need help, please… It’s Eren…”

 

Papa stopped what he was doing and turned all of his attention to the man on the other end of the line. He struggled to understand Levi as he choked the words out.  _ I don't know if I’ve ever heard him this distraught.. _ . “Levi, son. Listen to me, I need you to calm down for a minute, or I won’t be able to help you. Now, what’s happened to Eren?” 

 

“He’s gone. He took the gun and left. He left his phone here, so I can’t track him. Please, Papa…” Levi paused as a sob escaped him. “Please find him… I fucked up…” Levi listened as Papa barked orders to someone in the background, soon sending Levi a list of every address associated with Grisha, Carla, or Eren Jaeger that was available. Levi thanked Papa when he received the list and hung up the phone, his chest immediately seizing once he could no longer hear his father’s voice. His lungs deflated, refusing to fill with air.  _ Oh my god, this is a panic attack. This is a legitimate panic attack. Fuck, this hurts. I can’t breathe…  _ As he struggled, he curled his knees to his chest, hand clutching at his shirt. Alone in their dark, empty apartment, he finally understood.  _ Shit, Eren, I’m so sorry. This is it, isn’t it? This is what you  refuse to feel again… Alone, scared, and panicking with no one to help you breathe or pull you out of it…  _ Tears continued to fall, Levi finally feeling what Eren’s world was like before they met and why he wouldn’t want to go back again. He tried to force himself to breathe, but with little success.  _ I have so much respect for you, babe. This is damn hard. And it fucking hurts…  _ As soon as he was able to breathe and stand, Levi stumbled with his phone and the list to the door. Making it to the car, he entered the first address into his GPS and began his search.

 

Levi drove to every address in the area.  _ Oh… this tells me a lot more than Eren ever has about how he grew up… He’s left a lot out… _ Eren had almost always been in the same area, starting out in a small house, each move coming with a larger, more extravagant living space. The final address brought him outside a lavish apartment building in the heart of the city.  _ Well, he won’t be here. He wouldn’t have been able to get in… I need to find him soon. It’s already so late… 11 pm.. Shit…   _ Looking back down at the list on his phone, he found one final address.  _ A cemetery? Oh.. his mother… Shit, why didn’t I think of that first, dammit!   _ Levi grew desperate as he sped down the dark road toward his destination. Pulling up to the gate, he shifted to park and jumped out, leaving the Q7 running. He wove between the headstones, looking for a familiar name or mop of brown hair, hopefully unharmed.  

 

Eren shivered as he sat curled up beside his mother’s grave. He jumped as a nearby clock sounded.  _ Oh… It’s already midnight?   _ Eren had talked himself into a downward spiral all afternoon, but sitting alone with his mom had given him the push he needed. He ran his fingers down the cold metal of the barrel, breathing deeply as his eerie calm continued to reign.  _ I told him… I told him not to do this… He knew what would happen if he kept any more secrets… He knew he would lose my trust… Of all the things to keep from someone, killing people?  _ Eren leaned back against the headstone, shaking as he closed his eyes. “Bye, Mom… I love you… You were always my favorite. Maybe I’ll see you again soon.” He slowly pulled back the hammer, flinching as it locked into place. The metal was cold against his teeth as he slipped it into his mouth. His calm held.  _ Good. Maybe I can do this without too much trouble… _ His eyes stayed closed as he curled his finger around the trigger, steadying the weapon. 

 

Levi finally found the mop of messy brown hair he had been searching for and quickly scanned the scene to assess what was happening. Eren was leaning against his mother’s grave, arms raised with the gun in hand. As he took in the image of his precious boy holding a gun into his mouth, finger ready on the trigger, he jumped into action.  _ Oh no, you don’t! Not if I can help it! You’re not dying like this!  _  Levi moved as quickly and quietly as he could, sprinting lithely across the distance. Reaching Eren, he kneeled down, wrapping one hand around the gun and the other around Eren’s wrist. Quickly and carefully he pulled it from the boy’s mouth, immediately applying the safety and tucking it into his back waistband. Turning his attention back to the boy in front of him, he found a fist coming at his face. 

 

Eren landed a good punch, struggling to get Levi away from him, to no avail. Levi grabbed him by the arms, trying to keep him still. He tried to talk, to get Eren to look at him, but the calm was gone the moment the gun left the boy’s hands. The cold hunk of metal had been his lifeline, making the decisions for him and giving him a goal. Once it was gone, his plan fell apart. “Eren, please! Calm down, just listen to me! Please!” 

 

The boy landed another punch into Levi’s side. The man took it in stride and continued to try to talk the boy down. Eren was angry and violent, and even though he knew he had no hope of winning in a fight against Levi, he persisted. He was livid.  _ I’d already made up my mind! Why!  _ “Don’t fucking touch me! You did this! I told you I have to trust you! Don’t be like everyone else! It wasn’t that hard! I told you, if you weren’t around, I wouldn’t see tomorrow!” Levi’s heart broke with each venom filled word that was spat at him. Dodging Eren’s fists, he was still struck by two more blows before his beautiful boy’s exhausted body gave in. 

 

The last day and a half had finally caught up with the brunette. The more he fought, the less strength he had. He hadn’t eaten in nearly two days, and his emotions had worn him thin. Levi caught him as he dropped, gathering him into his arms and heading back to the car.  _ Oh, thank god… I can actually take care of you like this… Eren… Why? _ He hurried home, not wanting Eren to wake up before they were there and also because the boy was freezing. Levi put him to bed with the electric blanket on, watching him closely. When Eren woke, the first thing he saw was Levi. 

 

Eren realized quickly where he was and what had happened. Disappointment flooded him.  _ I didn’t want to wake up… I wasn’t supposed to wake up. _ Tears fell, anger mixing with disappointment. He tried to get up, but weakness overwhelmed him as he collapsed back into the bed. Levi moved to help him but was quickly shut down. Trying to muster up anger but coming up with nothing but a weak voice, Eren pushed the man away. “No, don’t. I don’t want to be here. You should have just left me there. I shouldn’t be alive. This is all your fault.” 

 

_ Yeah, I know, kid. But I can’t let you die. I’m sorry… I need to explain this though.  _ “Eren… Please.. Yes, I have killed people, that’s not a lie. But it was  _ never _ someone innocent. They were all evil people, people who didn’t deserve to live on the planet anymore.” 

 

“How do you get to make that choice! How is that your decision?” 

 

“Eren. These people were hardly people… They were murderers, rapists, people like Grisha…” Levi’s voice was strangled as he fought to keep his emotions in check, eyes pleading with Eren to understand. “I thought I had been honest with you. I thought you would understand that was part of the territory…” 

 

“No, because I’ve never been in a fucking gang.”  Eren struggled to roll over, trying not to face Levi. He shook as tears slipped from his eyes. He was weak, emotional, and snappy. 

 

Levi eyed the boy warily as he shook, fighting not to touch his brat. “Are you still cold? You’re shaking…” Eren shook his head slowly, curling in on himself.  _ Not cold, huh? So either he’s lying, or… he’s hungry. He hasn’t eaten all day… _ “Well, are you hungry then? I know you ate this morning, but I’m sure you’re starving by now.” He watched as Eren turned his face into the pillow. “Eren… You  _ did _ eat this morning… Right?” His concern grew, if that was even possible, as he watched Eren tense at the question.  _ Fucking hell. He didn’t. _ “I know you didn’t eat dinner, but did you eat lunch on Wednesday?”

 

“N-no…”  _ I’m still pissed that he stopped me, but… I can’t just keep giving him the cold shoulder… I can’t do that to him…  _

 

“Babe… You haven’t eaten in two days?” Levi’s eyes widened, hand hovering over the boy’s shoulder. “Please… Let me make you some food. You really need to eat something…” He kept prompting the boy until Eren started to cry. 

 

“Just leave me alone, Levi… I don’t want to eat… Please.. Just go…” He pulled the blanket over his head and pulled his sting ray to his chest from across the bed. Levi sighed and turned toward the door. He reluctantly left Eren to rest, leaving the door cracked. He checked in every few minutes, scared that his love would muster up enough strength to send himself over the edge of their balcony.  _ I wish I didn’t have to check in like this… But I don’t trust his mental state right now… Oh! I know what will get him to eat!  _ With a small smile on his face, Levi set to work making Eren’s favorite meal. He glanced at the time as he plated a small amount of the steaming food.  _ Hm. Three in the morning. This has been a very long day… _

 

Eren stirred as a soft knock sounded at the door. “Go away, Levi…” He curled up in as small of a ball as he could as he heard the door open and Levi’s soft footsteps move across the floor.   _ Oh, god. Why did you bring that in here… You don’t play fair…. _ He turned his head slowly toward the delicious smell that Levi brought in with him. 

 

_ Bingo. I knew that would get him.  _ Levi timidly approached the bed, plate in hand. “May I?” He motioned with a free hand toward the edge of the bed. He waited anxiously for Eren’s nod of approval.  Levi sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, ensuring that the boy could clearly see the steaming plate of chicken provincial that he had made. “I made some food. I won’t force you, but babe… you  _ really _ need to eat. It’s been way too long since you had food.”

 

Eren eyed the food.  _ You little cheater. You only did this because you know how much I love it. I can’t help it that I may or may not moan like a little whore whenever you make it… Fuck it. I want food. Especially his food.  _ He gave a small nod, moving to sit up. Levi set the plate on the nightstand, moving to help the boy sit, hands freezing just before touching him. His steel eyes met Eren’s deep oceans, begging for permission to help. “It’s okay… You can help… I don’t think I can do it on my own.” When the brunette was upright, Levi set the plate in his lap carefully. Eren moved to lift a bite to his mouth, but his shaking hand refused to cooperate. He set the fork back down, hand falling to his side as tears fell from his eyes.

 

Levi picked the fork up, lifting a small bite to the boy’s lips as his free hand wiped the tears from Eren’s cheek. As soon as the food hit the boy’s tongue, his body protested. His hand went to his stomach, clutching at the blankets over him. Levi glanced down at the motion. “Are you okay, babe?”  _ Please don’t let that come back up… you need that food. But you look like you’re in pain… _

 

Eren nodded slowly, looking down at the plate then back up at Levi. “C-can I have more? I’m really fucking hungry…” Relief filled Levi’s face as he helped Eren clear the plate, happily getting him seconds when requested. This time Eren ate on his own, the shaking finally subsiding as his hunger was sated. He was finally relaxing around Levi again, warmth filling him. 

 

Levi took the empty plate, returning with a glass of water.  _ His voice already sounds rough from all his screaming and crying, and I’m sure he hasn’t been drinking anything if he hasn’t been eating. _ “Here, drink this for me. I’m sure you need it…” Eren sipped at first, then started chugging it.  _ Oh god, babe, don’t drink it that fast. I know it tastes like nectar from the gods right now, but you’re gonna make yourself sick.  _ Levi placed a hand over Eren’s, gently prompting the boy to take a break. “Slow down, babe. If you drink that too fast, you’re going to see it again far sooner than you’d like.” 

 

Eren nodded and eased up on the water, sipping slowly until the glass was drained. Feeling much better after food and water, Eren took a deep breath and relaxed into the bed. He sighed as Levi stroked his hair, the touch a now welcome comfort.  _ I need you so badly it hurts… Why can’t you just tell me everything… _ The tears fell again as the aftershock of what he had very nearly done washed over him. He shifted, wrapping his arms around Levi’s waist and burying his face in the man’s chest. “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… I didn’t want to wake up… I was disappointed when I did…” 

 

Levi held his love close, resting a cheek against the top of the soft brown hair. “I know… I wish you didn’t feel that way, but I know you were… Can we talk about this? What happened?” 

 

“I-I thought you lied to me again… I couldn’t take it… I told you, I can’t be with you if you’re going to lie like everyone else… I-I realize now that you didn’t… but… it felt like you’d kept that from me…” Eren gripped at the man’s shirt, a soft sob shaking him. “I can’t live without you by my side, Levi… I don’t want to… So… I figured your gun was the fastest way… and… it only seemed right to die with Mom… I didn’t want you to be scarred like I was… so I went somewhere I didn’t think you’d find me…” 

 

Levi’s stomach churned as he listened to Eren. It made him sick to think of how close he had come to losing the love of his life. He tightened his grip on the boy as his own tears finally fell. “I thought I’d lost you… When I found your note… I was so scared I had lost you… I swear, I never kept anything from you intentionally… I just thought you would understand… Please understand… I love you so much, Eren.” 

 

“I love you too, Levi… I get it now…” The boy yawned as his grip on the man loosened, exhaustion finally overwhelming him as he fell asleep in his arms. Levi readjusted so they were both laying down, pressing light kisses across the boy’s cheeks and lips, memorizing every inch of his perfect face as he slept. Eventually, the man’s own lack of sleep caught up to him as he dozed off, Eren caught in his tight embrace.  

 

Eren woke late that afternoon, a comforting warmth surrounding him as he breathed in Levi’s scent.  _ What was I even thinking yesterday? No matter if I went to heaven or hell, his scent is so much better than either. He is so much better than heaven for me. I just want to stay like this forever. No lies, no walls. Just us. _ He shifted so he could see the sleeping man’s face, kissing him gently on the lips. “I’m so sorry…” He whispered, not wanting to wake Levi just yet, knowing the man needed any sleep he could get after yesterday. 

 

“What are you apologizing for? You’re still here with me… You’re still breathing. That’s all I need.” Through bleary eyes, he watched as Eren’s eyes widened with surprise. “How are you feeling? Can I get you anything?” 

 

“C-Can I take a shower? I feel gross….” 

 

“Of course.” Levi got out of bed, helping Eren to his feet. The two slowly made their way to the bathroom, Levi starting the water as Eren got undressed. Once he was sure the boy was safe in the shower, Levi headed to the kitchen to make dinner.  _ He seems to be somewhat back to normal…. I’m still worried though.  _ Eren walked in as Levi was plating dinner. “You have a little color back. Are you feeling better?”

 

“Yeah… I guess so… Food smells good. What did you make?” He walked up to Levi, wrapping his arms loosely around his waist.

 

“Just something simple. You hungry?” He smiled softly as Eren gave a small nod, sitting at the table. Levi set the plate in front of him with a glass of water. He watched to make sure the boy ate, ensuring the conversation stayed light.  _ I won’t take any more chances with this... I can’t lose him, I really can’t.  _ He took the opportunity to lock the gun in his safe and check the house for any kind of sharp objects while Eren dozed on the couch.  _ I will not let anything happen to him. Not on my watch. Not again.  _

 

After Levi felt the apartment was comfortably “Eren proofed” he settled on the couch beside the sleeping boy. Without waking, Eren shifted, laying on Levi’s lap as he curled into a ball. Levi ran his fingers through the boy’s hair as he thought to himself.  _ I’ve got to pay better attention. I don’t want him to ever feel like I’ve lied to him again. I don’t want him to go through this again. I refuse to be the cause of any of his problems. I’m here to help him, not make it worse…  _  He stroked the boy’s hair as he took in every inch of his face, something he planned to do more of - something he had taken for granted. His favorite hobby since that day on campus was admiring his beautiful brat. 

 

As Levi lost himself in thought, he was caught off guard as Eren woke with a start. “Oh my fucking god. I have a fucking speech that I have to give on Monday that I didn’t practice because I didn’t plan to be there to give it.” His breathing picked up rapidly as wide eyes turned to look at Levi with terror. “What the fuck am I going to do? I can’t give a speech. I can’t even remember my own name in front of them!” 

 

Levi’s chest tightened at the reasoning behind the boy’s lack of preparation.  _ I hate that. It shouldn’t have even been a thing.  _ “It’s okay. I’ll help you, Eren. Speeches aren’t bad when you have time to practice. I’ll give you some pointers, and you can practice with me. As long as you have it memorized, then all you have to do is look above everyone’s head and recite what you memorized. It’s a little trick they taught us in my speech class my freshman year. If you’re nervous, pick three points across the room. Make sure they’re above everyone’s head. Then you rotate between those points as you recite your speech so it looks like you’re interacting with the audience, but in reality, you can just pretend they’re not even there.” He gently rubbed his hand along the boy’s arm, trying to calm him as he spoke. “So trust me, it’ll be okay. Just breathe, and we can go from there.” 

 

Eren shut his eyes, focusing on Levi’s voice and touch as he slowed his breathing. Once he had gotten himself back to a somewhat normal pattern,  he let his thoughts return back to his speech. “Well… This one is over something we’re passionate about…” 

 

“That should be fairly simple. What are some things you’re passionate about?” Levi watched as Eren’s cheeks flushed a dark red. His curiosity piqued. 

 

“You…” He mumbled softly as he looked down, nervously picking at his fingers. 

 

Levi smiled softly, placing a finger below the boy’s chin, prompting him to look up as he kissed him gently. “You are so fucking adorable, and I love you. You’re more than welcome to write a speech about me, but I don’t know how that would go over with your classmates. I’d hate to have them cause you any kind of anxiety or stress over it. How about something closer to a hobby? What about your photography? You’re really amazing at that, and you seem to enjoy it.” He thought back to the photos from Southhampton, making a mental note that he still had to get some of them printed and framed to hang in the apartment. Eren’s eyes lit up at the thought.  _ Bingo. I knew that was a winner.  _

 

“That would be perfect! Photography is easy for me to talk about anyway.” Eren watched with interest as Levi got up and disappeared into the bedroom, returning with a pen and notepad. 

  
“Well, let’s work on an outline first. Tell me three reasons why you’re passionate about photography.”  

 

Eren thought for a moment, staring at the page in Levi’s lap that was numbered one through three. “Well… I can capture a moment in time that’s beautiful and save it forever. I can share objective information because a picture doesn’t lie. And I can use my pictures to make others happy… I think those would be my top three. How does that sound?” 

 

Levi quickly jotted down the points and returned his attention to the now bright eyed boy. “Those are perfect. Now you build the speech. Have they taught you the basic parts of a speech yet?”

 

The brunette thought for a moment before answering. “There’s the introduction that gives the overview, the body that has at least three main points, and then the conclusion that ties it all together, right?” 

 

“Very good! So with those parts, you build your outline. A rule of thumb I always use is to open a speech with a quote. It captures your audience’s attention and gets them thinking. So, for example, a possible introduction could be: Karl Lagerfeld once said, ‘What I like about photographs is that they capture a moment that’s gone forever, impossible to reproduce.’ Photography is a passion of mine first because of how it can take a beautiful, fleeting moment and save it forever. Secondly, pictures don’t lie, and finally, photography can be used to make others happy.” Levi made a few more notes, looking back up to Eren. “That would be a very simplistic introduction. You’d probably want it to be a tad longer depending on how much time you have to spend on this particular speech.”  

 

Eren spent the next couple of hours working through an outline with Levi before exhaustion took over once more. Levi convinced the boy to go to bed after he assured him that they would continue practicing his speech in the morning. 

 

Saturday morning found Eren well rested and somewhat ready to tackle the mountain that was his speech.  _ Okay. You can do this. You're not dead, so you kinda have to do this. Levi will help. He always does. He basically makes the world go round.  _ Eren propped himself up on his elbow in bed. He looked down at the sleeping man beside him, whispering as he brushed the soft black hair out of his face. “I'm still angry that you stopped me…. But I'm glad that you did… I know I'm a fucking walking contradiction. But I love you, and you're really the only reason I stick around… You're my whole world, and honestly I couldn't function when I thought I was losing you.” He leaned down, kissing Levi's barely parted lips before moving to get out of bed. He was stopped by firm arms pulling him down to a strong chest. He paused as he listened to Levi’s elevated heart rate, wondering what had caused such a reaction. 

 

Levi's voice came out strangled, a nearly inaudible whisper. “You can't just say things like that and leave me…” He kissed the top of the boy's head, hiding his face in the familiar mop of hair as he fought back tears. He had already been having nightmares about finding Eren in the graveyard, then waking up to that?  _ I can’t take this, babe. I swear, you're going to give me a heart attack. You scare me sometimes. It's like you're too far away to help. I just want to help you… _

 

Eren's chest ached with guilt at Levi's words.  _ I know that voice. I'm sorry, Levi… I didn't mean to make you cry… _ “I'm sorry… I'm not leaving, if that makes it any better. I was just going to take a shower and start memorizing my speech.” The boy’s finger gently rubbed at the arms wrapped around him, trying to comfort the man who had done the same for him so many times before. 

 

“We’ll get to your speech, I promise. Just… Stay here for a bit longer.” Levi held the boy tight, not willing to let him go quite yet. Eren relaxed against Levi’s small frame as the older man breathed a sigh of relief. 

 

Once Levi’s heart rate had returned to normal, Eren moved to sit up. Levi’s arms held tight before he sighed and let them fall to his sides. “We really do need to get up, babe… I don’t even want to try and imagine what Monday will be like if I don’t have this stupid speech memorized…” Eren’s chest twinged when Levi looked away, his bangs falling across his eyes. The brunette gently brushed the soft hair out of the older man’s face, fingers lingering on his cheek. “Levi… Look at me.” Eren gave him a small smile as Levi’s steel eyes turned back to him, sadness evident in their depths.  _ Why are you so defeated? I’m here… I already said I was sorry… Please go back to normal…  _ “I know I was dumb… and I know I really scared you… and I’m really sorry… But please… I’m here, you saved me, again, just like you always do. I know that you’ll always save me from myself. That’s why I love you so much.” He kissed him softly, thumb tracing over Levi’s lips as if to rub the action in. “Please forgive me…” 

 

Levi sighed, a faint smile gracing his lips. “There’s nothing to forgive, Eren. You weren’t in your right mind, and yes, I got there in time. I’m just… I just wish it had never even been a thought. I wish that wasn’t the first thing you thought of… I wish you had talked to me before making such a rash decision… If nothing else, have enough faith in me to let me explain myself before you jump to conclusions. Not everything is as it appears.” He moved to sit up, Eren sitting up himself as he nodded enthusiastically. 

 

“From here on out! I will from here on out. I’m so sorry. I trust you completely, and I should have talked to you first. I swear, I’m sorry…” The brunette relaxed as Levi reached up and ruffled his his hair, leaning into the touch.

 

“I’m holding you to that, kid. I need you to talk to me. Well, I’ve had about enough of this bed. Ready for some breakfast? We can work on memorizing your speech while I cook.” Eren nodded, scrambling out of bed and heading for the kitchen, grabbing his speech from the couch on the way.

 

Monday found Levi pacing outside of Eren’s classroom.  _ We practiced that speech all weekend. He could recite it word for word in the car on the way here this morning. I know he’s got this. But still...  _ He glanced through the window, coming to an abrupt halt when he realized Eren was walking to the front of the room.  _ You’ve got this babe, I know you do. Deep breath, and just like you practiced.  _ He watched as Eren’s eyes widened slightly as he looked around the room, his breathing starting to quicken.  _ Shit. Look here, brat. I’m right here. Watch me…  _

 

Eren’s eyes passed over the door, then quickly bounced back.  _ Levi? But… you have class right now… What are you...? _ The boy relaxed slightly as his boyfriend gave him a small smile and a thumbs up through the window.  _ I can do this. Just like Levi showed me. I don’t want to let him down after we worked so hard on this….  _ He took a deep breath and started to speak. 

 

Levi released a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding when the classroom broke into a quite impressive applause.  _ You did it, kid! I knew you could. Looks like your classmates enjoyed it too.  _ He hung around, waiting until the class was over, and met Eren as he came out of the room. “You did it! How did that feel?” 

 

Eren’s eyes lit up as he jumped into Levi’s arms, hugging him tightly. “Oh my god, I can’t believe I actually got through that. I couldn’t have done that if I hadn’t seen you standing out here, if I’m being honest. Thank you so much! I just hope that it's a decent grade now…” 

 

“I’m sure you’ll do great. Your classmates really seemed to enjoy your speech. You followed all the guidelines. You’ll be fine. When will you find out?” Levi brushed the boy’s shaggy hair out of his face as Eren released his hold on the older man’s neck. “Also, your hair is really getting long. What do you think of getting a haircut sometime?”

 

“We’re supposed to have our grades on Thursday morning, and a haircut would probably be a good idea… We can look at it later.” Eren checked his phone and gasped. “Crap! I’m gonna be late for my next class!” He leaned in and quickly kissed Levi on the cheek before bounding off down the hall, waving as he called back behind him. “I love you, Levi! I’ll see you for lunch later!”

 

Levi chuckled softly as he ran his fingers through his hair.  _ Well, someone is happy after getting through that. I’m glad. He’s almost back to normal. Or at least as far as public appearance goes, he is. We’ll see if that lasts through the day. _ He headed off in the opposite direction that Eren had gone as he went back to his own responsibilities.

 

The next few days went by seamlessly as the boys fell into an easy routine. Thursday found Eren bouncing happily to the newspaper office after his morning classes, the spring in his step the result of finding out he had gotten an 86% on his speech from Monday.  _ I can’t wait to tell Levi at lunch later! He’ll be so proud! First, I have to check in for work assignments though. I can’t forget about this even if Levi pays for everything, which eventually we’re going to have to talk about. I have a job too. I don’t want to mooch off of him all the time.  _ He glanced around at the activity on campus.  _ Everyone’s so happy today… it’s like a campus on tv. The weather’s nice, people are walking their dogs and playing games… Everything’s been really good in general lately. Levi and I are solid again, and it feels like nothing can go wrong for us. Ugh, I can’t wait until this weekend. Two whole days of just Levi…  _ He entered the office, greeting his editor as she stopped him. 

 

“Eren! I’m so glad I caught you. You still haven’t signed the waiver for the charity tournament this weekend.”

 

Eren’s brows furrowed in confusion. “The what?”

 

“The charity soccer tournament? The one you signed up to cover last April?” 

 

_ Shit. Forgot about that completely…  _ “Ah. That one. I remember now... I’m sorry, with everything that’s been going on with me lately, I completely forgot.”

 

“You can still do it, right? We don’t really have anyone else who’s willing to cover it on such short notice…”

 

Eren took a deep breath.  _ It’s only one weekend… and I did say I would… they’re relying on me… And this will be really good for the soccer team. They deserve good photos…  _ “Y-Yeah, I can still do it. Where’s the waiver?” He signed the paper before getting the travel itinerary and heading out.  _ Okay. Now to tell Levi. This will be fun…  _

 

Levi met him at the car, giving him a quick peck on the cheek before getting in.  _ You look squirrelly.  _ “Hey, kid. How was your day?” 

 

Eren hopped into the passenger seat, setting his bag on the floor by his feet. “Good. I got an 86 on my speech.” He glanced over at Levi, seeing the man watching him. “Hi.”

 

“Hi.” Levi raised a brow, questioning the brunette. “You don’t seem so excited about that… Anything else you want to tell me?” He watched the boy lean down and pull something out of his bag. 

 

“You’re not going to like this.”

 

_ Oh, god. Now what?  _ “Try me.”

 

Eren took a breath, passing the itinerary to Levi. “I kind of… signed up to take pictures for a charity soccer tournament this weekend and forgot until this afternoon when my editor asked me why I hadn’t signed the waiver. And I leave tomorrow afternoon. And I told her I would be there. And I’ll be gone until early Monday morning.” He paused, looking at Levi to gauge his reaction.

 

The man took a moment to digest the information. “So… you said you would go, I’m guessing some time ago, and you forgot until the day before you leave? And you’re going to be gone all weekend?” Eren nodded. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean, we’ve had some interesting times lately. And I know you’re doing a lot better, but…”  _ But I don’t want you to end up mentally unstable with a fuckload of strangers in a random hotel at a random tournament that it doesn’t actually sound like you’re excited about.  _

 

“I’ll be okay.” Eren said quietly. “I’ll text you constantly, I promise. And if something makes me anxious, I’ll call you, and you can calm me down. And it’s only an hour away. So, if something happens, and I can’t deal with it, it won’t be hard for you to get to me…” He took Levi’s hand, linking their fingers. “Because I know you would try. I really feel okay about this though. I promise.”

 

_ Well, I don’t.  _ “If you think you can handle it, then I’m okay with it too.” Levi stroked the back of Eren’s hand with his thumb. “It’s completely up to you. I trust you. Just please, if you feel like you’re getting too anxious or you’re not able to handle something, call me. Don’t try to make it okay on your own. You don’t always do so well when you do that…”  _ You know, like that time I pulled my gun out of your mouth in a graveyard. That was fun.  _

 

“Yeah, I know. And I won’t. You’re my first resort, I swear.” Eren smiled at the man, glad when Levi finally relaxed enough to start the car and head for home. When they arrived, the pair went about making and eating dinner before Eren abandoned Levi to start packing for the trip. The man followed him into the bedroom, watching him and sitting on the edge of the bed next to Eren’s open bag. 

 

He gave suggestions for what to pack, pleased when Eren grabbed the old blue sweatshirt he kept in his top drawer. “Bringing my sweatshirt? You’re lucky that fits you. It’s kind of huge on me…” 

 

The boy chuckled as he shoved it into the bag. “Yeah, I like it. It smells like you, and it’s soft. And I don’t think I’m bringing my stingray, so I need another version of you as a fill-in.” Zipping up his bag, he sat next to Levi on the bed. “There. Done. All that’s left is to grab my toothbrush in the morning.” He leaned against the man as Levi wrapped his arm around him. “It’ll be okay, Levi. I’ll be okay. And if I’m not, I’ll call you to rescue me.” He accepted the kiss that was offered by the smaller man, scooting back on the bed and dragging Levi with him. “Bed now, please. I’m tired.” 

  
_ You better be fucking okay, brat. All I’m going to do is worry the whole time you’re gone…  _ He laid down with the boy and held him close to his chest. “Of course, babe. Anything you want. Always.” Turning out the light, he listened to Eren’s steady breathing, trying to let it calm him as he surrendered to sleep. 


	31. Strip Poker and Pushy Jocks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh! So this chapter was so much fun to write! 
> 
> We hope you all enjoy it as much as we did!
> 
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When morning came, Eren woke before Levi, anxiety already coursing through him. _It’s going to be fine. I’ll be fine. Just take pictures and watch soccer. Simple._ He slid out of the bed, careful not to wake Levi, before moving to the bathroom and turning on the shower. _And sleeping in a hotel with a stranger. There’s also that._ Shampoo squirted out of the bottle as he went to wash his hair. _And there are probably going to be a ton of people around all the time. And I have to ride a bus. I haven’t ridden a bus in forever…_ Finishing up in the shower, he dried off and walked over to get clothes. _Plus it won’t be just me and whoever I room with. It’s going to be the whole fucking soccer team. And the coaches. And the equipment guys._ Eren moved through the apartment in a daze, removed from his surroundings as he let his thoughts take over. He didn’t even notice when Levi stepped in front of him, saying his name.

 

“Eren?” The boy was staring off into nothingness, obviously deep in thought. His breathing had begun to worsen. Levi gripped his arms and shook him gently. “Eren? Hey, kid, look at me. Are you okay?” _Shit, this is a terrible idea. He shouldn’t go on this trip. He’s still getting back to where he was… You don’t just get over suicide attempts…_

 

Eren blinked, finally meeting Levi’s gaze. “Oh. What did you say?” _When did my breathing get like this? And how did I fail to notice Levi standing right the fuck in front of my face?_ “Sorry… I was distracted.”

 

 _Clearly._ “I said, are you okay? Your breath sounds worse than it should. Can you take a deep breath for me?” Levi watched anxiously as Eren inhaled deeply, quickly regulating his breathing. “Good, thank you. Now, what was that about?”

 

“I’m sorry. I was just thinking about the trip… I woke up kind of anxious… it’s okay though. I’m good. I just need to stop thinking so much…” The brunette took another deep breath, moving past Levi into the kitchen to get breakfast.

 

The man followed him, still not convinced. He heaved a sigh as he joined Eren in getting a bowl of cereal. “I’m not going to ask if you’re sure you should do this.”

 

“Good.”

 

“But,” he eyed the boy beside him, “I need you to promise me again that you will fucking call me if _anything_ happens that upsets you or makes you anxious. Your mental health is a hell of a lot more important than some stupid tournament.” He stopped Eren, taking his hands. “Promise me, and I’ll leave you alone.”

 

The brunette kissed Levi tenderly on the lips before leaning their foreheads together. “I promise that I will call you if I’m anything less than okay. I’ll call you anyway. And I’ll text you…” He let Levi move to the table to eat his cereal before adding, “and I won’t even bring your gun like I was planning to.”

 

Levi choked on the bite he had just taken, staring at Eren with wide eyes. “The fuck?”

 

Eren slid into a chair beside him, looking over at him tentatively. “Too soon?”

 

“Hell yes, too soon. Fifty years from now would be too soon. Eat your damn cereal.” _Are you fucking kidding me right now? Did he actually just make a joke about one of the scariest nights of my life? Fucking hell, kid._

 

Eren obliged, taking his free hand and playing with the man’s undercut as he ate. _Sorry, babe. Not the best thing to say before you won’t see me for two and a half days… it’s okay. I’m okay._ Levi relaxed somewhat as Eren played with his hair. The two finished breakfast before Eren packed his last minute items and went with Levi down to the car.

 

After class, Levi went with Eren to the bus to load his bag for the trip. He held the bag in one hand and the boy’s hand in the other, not wanting to let go of him until he had to. As they approached the waiting bus, he handed the bag off to be loaded into the storage compartment, taking Eren’s other hand with his now free one. “Okay. Please be safe. Call me whenever you can. Text me even when you’re not supposed to. Please make sure you eat even if you’re anxious.” Eren nodded, leaning in and kissing the worried man on the lips. “I love you, kid. A lot. Please keep yourself safe and come back home to me.”

 

“I will. I love you too, Levi.” He kissed him one more time before joining the team and filing onto the bus. He chose a seat by the window and looked for Levi back outside. The man immediately met his gaze. Eren gave a wave and a genuine smile, trying to assure Levi that he would be okay. After several minutes, Levi relented, turning and walking back to rejoin his research group. Eren watched him go, then turned his attention to the swarm of excited young adults who had flooded the bus. He looked over the faces moving around, settling on one as it came up to him and sat down beside him.

 

“You’re Eren, the photographer, right?”

 

“U-Um, yeah. Hi. How exactly did you know that?” Eren had never seen this guy before. He was tall, slim but well-muscled, with sandy brown hair that he wore in an undercut that was much more subtle than Levi’s. His narrow eyes gazed over at Eren in amusement.

 

“Well, I could try to be smooth and tell you that I recognize you from when your picture’s been in the student paper for your photos…” He grinned as Eren looked down at his lap. “Or, I could tell you the truth, which is that I know everyone else here, and I knew we were bringing a photographer.” The man held out a hand to the boy. “I’m Jean Kirstein. I’m the new team captain. I believe I’ve also been assigned to room with you for the weekend.”

 

Eren took the hand offered to him, smiling timidly at his apparent roommate. “Hi… I have a follow up question.” Jean laughed, waiting for Eren to continue. “If you didn’t know who the photographer was, how did you know my name?”

 

 _Because the first thing was actually the truth…_ “I asked around. I have a couple of friends who work for the paper, and they said that some guy named Eren was shooting the tournament.”

 

 _I guess that makes sense… He obviously also checked the room assignments and saw a name he didn’t know… I guess it’s not that hard to figure out._ “I’m surprised I haven’t seen you before… I’ve taken pictures for the soccer team in the past…”

 

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t exactly the star player last year. I worked really hard over the summer to get to this point.” Jean shifted in his seat, getting comfortable for the ride.

 

“Y-Yeah, I can tell.” Eren quickly backtracked when Jean raised his eyebrows at him. “I mean, to go from just a regular player to captain in one summer is really hard… I bet it took a lot of work…” The boy tried to hide his blush. _Now he thinks I’m being a creep. He thinks I’m talking about how he looks. Well, newsflash, team captain, my boyfriend could beat you up in about four seconds. Three if I were watching._ Eren relaxed a bit as the man laughed again, clearly not taking what he had said too seriously.

 

“I spent the summer kicking a lot of soccer balls across horse pastures. I promise you, it was definitely a lot of work. I earned the title.” _Is he blushing? It’s kind of hard to tell with that caramel skin of his… I think he’s blushing._ When Eren gave him an inquisitive look, he elaborated. “My parents run a horse farm upstate. I spent a good chunk of the summer with them.”

 

“That makes more sense.” _Okay, I salvaged that. Come on, Jaeger. Act normal. You’ve been around people before. And this guy at least seems nice, which is good because you’ll be sleeping right next to him for the next three nights._

 

Eren settled into his seat, trying to relax as he watched the bus pull away from the school. About a half hour into the ride, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

 

**Levi: I was going to play the part of the understanding boyfriend who doesn't smother his partner in texts, but then I decided fuck that. How’s the trip?**

 

**Eren: It's honestly fine. I'm sitting next to my roommate. He's nice, also sporting an undercut. Idk if I can keep my hands to myself.**

 

**Levi: You better, brat. I'm not sharing you with some half rate soccer player who probably won't even leave the bench this weekend.**

 

**Eren: Oh, I don't know about that. Jean’s the captain.**

 

**Levi: His name is Jean. Strike one.**

 

**Eren: What's wrong with Jean?**

 

**Levi: That's what you name an 80-year-old woman who likes to play bridge with “the girls” on Friday nights before 9:00.**

 

**Eren: The name “Jean” is French. You like France.**

 

**Levi: Do you like Germany, Eren Jaeger?**

 

**Eren: That was a terrible comeback. It didn’t even mean the same thing.**

 

**Eren: Jean’s last name is Kirstein. Maybe he’ll take me to Germany and I can answer your question then.**

 

**Levi: I’M taking you to Germany, brat. Right after France. And Ireland. And Wales.**

 

**Eren: Is that all?**

 

**Levi: Nope. Can't leave out England.**

 

Eren smiled at his screen. _Whatever you say, babe. I’ll let you drag me all over the world without complaint. I wouldn’t mind sailing with you off the coast of Greece, either._

 

**Levi: Forgot Italy.**

 

**Eren: I want to sail in Greece.**

 

**Levi: Of course, babe :***

 

Eren let the conversation die down as they neared their destination, slipping his phone back into his pocket and gazing out the window. The bus pulled up to a hotel and stopped before the door cranked open and everyone was allowed to move. Eren rose as Jean did, following him out the door and toward the hotel. “Everyone else is over there with the coaches… They’re all looking at something.”

 

Jean glanced over his shoulder. “They’re checking room assignments. Lucky for you, I already did that.” He smiled widely before turning back toward the building ahead of them. When the two had met up with everyone in the lobby, the coaches handed out the room keys, passing 2104 to Jean and Eren. “Ready?” The boy nodded.

 

A few minutes later, the door to 2104 swung inward, and Eren followed the man inside. He slung his bag onto the bed nearest him, Jean taking the one by the window. “So… what do we do now?”

 

“First tournament?” The man watched as Eren nodded. “Well, good news, bright eyes. We don’t have to do anything at the moment. I’m sure we’ll meet everyone for dinner, but other than that, it’s supposed to be pretty much bedtime for the night. Oh, and the reporters.”

 

 _The what._ “R-Reporters?” _No one said anything about any goddamn reporters. Do I have to talk to them? Wait, no, I’m just the photographer. I doubt I’m supposed to take pictures of them… Maybe I take pictures of the team as_ they’re _talking to them?_

 

“Yeah, it’s a charity tournament. It’s really good PR for the school. That’s kind of the whole reason you’re here.”

 

“Oh… I don’t have to talk to them, right? I mean, I’m not on the team…”

 

 _Oh my god, he’s nervous. Look at how fidgety he is…_ “Don’t worry, Jaeger. You’re just here to take pictures. Just chill. This will be a fairly mild weekend for you.” _Unless of course you happen to notice how fuckable I find you. That might heat things up…_

 

Eren nodded, relaxing a bit as the night wore on. The team met up for dinner, like Jean had said, and Eren managed to eat a normal portion even with the anxiety he was feeling. After they ate, he slipped back to the room to call Levi. _Answer… Why the fuck aren’t you answering? I’m getting anxious now… You’re supposed to talk to me when I’m getting anxious. It was_ your _goddamn rule…_ He released a tense breath as he heard the other line pick up.

 

“Eren? I’m sorry, I was in the shower when I heard the phone. Everything okay? How are you?”

 

“H-Hi. It’s okay… I’m okay… just… getting anxious now. So I thought I should call you before I make it worse by thinking too much…”

 

 _Oh, babe. It’s been four hours… You still have so long…_ “That was a good decision, babe. Are you breathing okay? Did you eat anything for dinner?”

 

“Yeah, I think I’m breathing normally… it hadn’t gotten bad yet. And it’s getting better listening to you talk to me. And yes, I ate. The team went out to dinner. I didn’t eat as much as I do at home, but I finished my sandwich at least…”

 

“I’ll talk all you want. About whatever you want. Good job eating dinner, too. I know you don’t get hungry when you’re anxious…” He waited for a reply, but realized that Eren just wanted him to keep talking. “Research went really well today. I’m making real progress on my thesis. I think I stayed until about 7:00, which is why I just now got home to take a shower. I’m also considering making fajitas for dinner… they just sound good.”

 

“They are good,” Eren chimed in in a small voice. “You should definitely make those.”

 

“In that case, I will. How’s that roommate of yours treating you? Jeannie, was it?”

 

Eren rolled his eyes. “It’s Jean, which you very well know. And he’s being nice… although he called me bright eyes, which was kind of strange.”

 

Levi stopped what he was doing. _Oh, that fucker._ “Strange? I don’t know about strange… but he definitely has a crush on you.”

 

“What? How would you know that?” The boy felt his face getting red. “He was just…”

 

“...Hitting on you, subtly,” Levi finished for him. _Can he really not tell? Does he still not understand how fucking adorable he is? His body is gorgeous, especially since he reached a normal weight… and that face… I don’t blame Jeannie for noticing. I will blame Jeannie if he so much as sits on the same bed as my brat._ “And I know that because my gaydar is incredibly fine-tuned, even from an hour away.” He heard the boy snort on the other line. “Excuse you?”

 

“You said gaydar.”

 

“Indeed I did. Yours will get better the longer you hang out with me. And fuck me.” Eren laughed again, eliciting a smile from the raven haired man.

 

There was a knock on the door to 2104, and Eren looked up as Jean re entered the room. “Reporter time, Jaeger! Get that camera out. We’re heading downstairs.”

 

“Hey… I have to go.” Eren spoke quietly into the phone, self conscious now that Jean was in the room.

 

“Yeah, I heard. Was that Jeannie?”

 

“Yes, and don’t say that. I’ll text you later.” Eren relaxed a bit as Jean disappeared into the bathroom. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too, ocean eyes. Don’t let that bastard woo you with second rate pet names about your facial features. You’re mine.”

 

“I know.” Eren smiled as he hung up, standing when Jean emerged and opened the door for them.

 

The night ended after the press had interviewed the team, Eren dead tired and ready for sleep. He changed in the bathroom before crawling under the covers, pulling out his phone to text Levi.

 

**Eren: Going to bed now. So fucking tired. Goodnight. I love you. I’ll call you in the morning.**

 

**Levi: Get some sleep, babe. I love you too. Feeling better I guess? Not so anxious?**

 

**Eren: Better, yeah. Mostly because of how tired I am.**

 

**Levi: That’s something at least. Talk to you tomorrow <3**

 

**Eren: That looks like a butt. Sitting on a cone.**

 

**Levi: That is a heart. It’s not my fault you lack the insight to translate pre-emoji characters. Go to sleep.**

 

**Eren: Kay.**

 

The boy relented and closed his eyes, grateful when he felt exhaustion immediately overcome him. In moments, he was asleep.

 

The next day proved to be so busy from the get go that Eren didn’t have time to think let alone make himself anxious. The team was gathered at 5:00 for pre-tournament practice, Eren coming to take shots of the scrimmages. After they showered and ate, it was time to return to the field for the actual tournament to begin. The boy spent his day behind his camera lens, following the team across the field and back again as he snapped photos. In between the games, he sorted through the pictures, marking the best ones and making sure he had some of every player. He ate lunch briefly with the team before going back to the field for the next round of games. Around 2:00, his phone buzzed, guilt filling him immediately as he realized he hadn’t spoken to Levi since their minute-long good morning conversation.

 

**Levi: How’s the tournament? Busy? I hope so, because I haven’t heard from you since this morning, and I’m not a huge fan of you with a ton of free time, sitting alone somewhere not texting me.**

 

**Eren: I’m so sorry, Levi. Yes, crazy busy. Got up at 5, and haven’t had a chance to relax yet. I’m okay. Just taking a shit ton of pictures. How’s your day?**

 

**Levi: Better now that I know you’re okay.**

 

**Eren: I can’t really talk much. There’s a game going on, and I need to get my camera back up. I’ll text you when we have a break though. Promise.**

 

**Levi: I suppose that’s reasonable. Don’t shirk your duties. Take some kickass pictures. Talk to you later <3 (I’m giving you another chance here).**

 

**Eren: BUTT CONEEEEE**

 

He smiled as he put his phone away and returned to the edge of the field, burying his face behind his camera for the remainder of the game. When the tournament finally wrapped up for the day, Eren gathered his things and boarded the bus to return to the hotel with the team. _It’s only 4:00, and I’m so tired, I think I might fall asleep right here in this seat…_ He let his eyes shut for just a moment, and the next thing he knew, Jean was shaking him awake.

 

“Up and at em, Jaeger. Dinner time. Then we’re heading back, so you can sleep then.”

 

Eren peeked an eye open, realizing that he had indeed fallen asleep on the bus. “Where are we? I thought we were heading back to the hotel now…”

 

Jean grinned at the boy, eyeing his disheveled hair and sleepy expression. _So goddamn cute… Glad I could swing that room assignment. Maybe once he's a bit more awake, we can get somewhere…_ “Nope, dinner on the way. I think we’re all grabbing takeout though. Come on, I already stashed your stuff under the seat.”

 

 _I’m really, really extremely not hungry… I just want to sleep… I hate getting up that early, and it’s been such a hectic day…_ “I think I’m goIng to skip the food, thanks. Can I just stay here? Or do I still have to come in…?” _Please let me stay put. I want to call Levi. Today was a lot…_

 

“Suit yourself. I’ll grab you something small for later if you want.”

 

Before the boy could protest, Jean was out the door. _Oh, well. I’ll get him something later to pay him back._ As soon as the door slammed shut, Eren located his phone and punched on Levi’s name. The man answered on the first ring.

 

“Hey, babe. I’m glad you called. How’s everything going? Did you guys already eat dinner? Or are you about to do that now?”

 

“Hi. Everything is exhausting. We’re headed back to the hotel now, but I’m probably just going to go to sleep as soon as we get there. I fell asleep on the bus… I can’t keep my eyes open.”

 

 _At least he’s not panicking. Sleeping is good. It’s much better than everything I can imagine…_ “So you guys ate before heading back then?” _Oh, you’d better say yes…_

 

“Um…”

 

“Eren.”

 

“...They’re getting food now…”

 

“‘They?’”

 

“I’m sorry, Levi. I really, really don’t want to eat. Jean said he’d get me something small for later though. I’ll try to eat tonight.”

 

 _Just one and a half days. Two more nights and one and half days, and you can go get him and bring him home._ “Babe, are you okay? Why don’t you want to eat? Do you want me to come get you early?” _Because I fucking will. In a heartbeat._

 

“I think I’m okay. I’m just really tired, and my body isn’t used to being up so early… it messes with my stomach. I did eat breakfast and lunch though, and I promise to try to eat whatever Jean brings me. I’m sorry…” _I’m really sorry. I know I’m worrying you…_

 

“It’s okay this time. I understand. Just please try to eat something as soon as you feel like you can, alright? Do you want to talk for a while?”

 

 _I wish we could right now._ “Not yet… the team is heading back to the bus. But… can I text you before I go to sleep?”

 

“Of course you can. Call me or text me whenever you want to.”

 

“I will. Bye, Levi. I love you. A lot.”

 

“I love you too, Eren. Bye, babe.” Levi listened as Eren hung up, lowering his own phone as well. _I swear, one more red flag, and I’m driving to that damn tournament and getting him. Or staying with him. Or something._

 

Eren took a deep breath as he hit “End,” bracing himself for the rowdy group of jocks that was about to board the bus. Jean slipped back into the seat next to him, offering him the chicken wrap he had grabbed. “Thanks. I’ll make sure to eat it later. And I’ll pay you back, I swear.”

 

“Don’t worry about it. You can pay me back by talking to me.”

 

Eren felt a jolt of anxiety at the prospect of owing the man answers. “I thought you said don’t worry about it…” Jean looked over at him, so he quickly added, “What would we talk about?”

 

“Oh, you know, the usual. Where are you from, what do you like to do for fun, what kind of deep, dark secrets are you keeping…” _Okay, maybe not that exact line of questioning… the guy looks freaked. Calm down, bright eyes._ “Or maybe we could start with something simple like what kind of music do you listen to…”

 

Eren relaxed a bit, answering the question and chatting with the man until they reached their room back at the hotel. _I think Levi may be right… He’s being so nice and considerate… and attentive…_ When it reached 8:00, Eren politely excused himself to shower and change for bed. As he was brushing his teeth, he got a text from Levi.

 

**Levi: Did you fall asleep early? I haven’t heard from you… I thought we were going to text a little more.**

 

**Eren: No, still awake. Jean and I talked for a while. I just showered, and I’m getting ready for bed now. I could have fallen asleep two hours ago, but he really wanted to talk… I think maybe you were right…**

 

**Levi: Of course I was right. I’m telling you, I’m excellent at this shit. You guys just talked, right? He didn’t try anything?**

 

**Eren: No, he didn’t. He’s being very polite and sweet. He got me a chicken wrap. It’s in the fridge.**

 

**Levi: Are you going to eat it?**

 

**Eren: …I just brushed my teeth.**

 

**Levi: Please eat breakfast when you wake up. And call me.**

 

**Eren: I will, I promise. We have to be up at 5 again, so I’m going to bed. I’ll make sure Jean doesn’t get too handsy ;)**

 

**Levi: See that he doesn’t. Or he may not have any hands left when I’m done with him. Or other choice body parts.**

 

**Eren: LEVI.**

 

**Levi: What?**

 

**Eren: Goodnight. I love you. Butt cone.**

 

**Levi: <3**

 

Eren laid his phone on the nightstand and and slipped beneath the covers, saying goodnight to Jean as well before closing his eyes. _One more day… Then I can see Levi… Just keep busy again, and it will pass quickly. Jean will be good. He’s been good so far…_ The boy drifted off, surrendering to exhaustion.

 

 _Night, bright eyes. God, you look sweet when you sleep. Tomorrow I’ll say something… You seem to enjoy talking to me too…_ Jean turned out the lamp before laying down as well, not looking forward to the 5:00 practice set for the next morning.

 

When Eren’s alarm sounded, he begrudgingly opened his eyes, set on eliminating the grating noise. Sitting up in bed, he turned off the alarm, letting his consciousness slowly take over. _It’s too early. I can barely keep my eyes open… And I feel kind of sick… Yeah, I was definitely not made for early mornings…_

 

Jean sat up next to him, rubbing his face and looking over at the brunette. “Ungh.”

 

“Same.” Eren gave the man a sleepy half-smile and moved off the bed to get changed in the bathroom. When he emerged, Jean was dressed as well, gathering his things for practice. The boy grabbed his camera bag before following the man out the door. In the lobby, they met the team and headed to the bus for practice, stopping along the way to grab food for breakfast. Eren looked over the menu, forcing himself to buy a biscuit before sitting down with it and some water. He nibbled at the edges as he tried to convince his stomach to be hungry, but after the third bite, it wasn’t sitting so well. He gave up, throwing out the rest of the food and going outside to wait while the rest of the team ate. He leaned against the side of the restaurant and dialed Levi’s number.

 

“Morning, babe. I guess you guys are on your way to practice?” The man sounded sleepy.

 

“Did I wake you up? I’m sorry. I just wanted to talk to you before we got going.”

 

“No, it’s fine, really. I’d so much rather hear your voice than sleep through this call. Did you sleep okay? Were you able to eat anything?” _Say yes. Come on, please._

 

“A little…” Eren sighed. “Okay, I ate three bites… I felt like I was going to throw it back up, so I stopped and came out here to get some air and call you. I tried. I’m sorry, Levi. I can’t do this early morning thing. It makes me feel like shit.”

 

 _Don’t do it, Levi. He sounds like he feels awful. He tried to eat. Even_ you _wouldn’t have made him keep eating if he thought he was going to get sick… Maybe six months ago, but not now…_ “I understand, kid. Thank you for trying… I’m proud of you for eating some at least. How much longer before you’re going to be crazy busy again? When does the tournament start for the day?”

 

“We have practice in a minute, then the actual games start at 9:00. In between, we have to head back to the hotel and get stuff ready… So I’ll pretty much only be able to text until tonight. I’m sorry… I miss you…” _I bet I would have felt completely fine if I’d woken up next to you at 5:00 this morning instead of next to Jean in a random hotel room…_

 

“I miss you too, and don’t be sorry. You’re getting paid for this; it’s a job. Just think of it like that and call me when you can, okay? I love you, Eren.”

 

“I love you more.”

 

“Not possible.” Levi hung up then, knowing that Eren needed to get back to the team. _I wonder if there are any other rooms available in that hotel… Maybe I could make him feel better and still let him finish the tournament._ Pulling up the webpage for the hotel he had seen on Eren’s itinerary, he checked the room availability. _Well, shit. All those damn soccer teams…_ Levi closed the laptop more roughly than he needed to and walked in the direction of the shower, muttering to himself.

 

The second day of the tournament was impossibly busier than the first. Eren's team was climbing the ranks quickly, set to play in the final. In between games, everyone rushed from the field to eat, cHanji clothes, check game plans, and text significant others. Eren followed Jean for the most part, not wanting to be left alone in the massive crowd. He texted Levi when he could, but most of the day was planned down to the minute, and it proved difficult to keep up with his half of the conversation‍. Eventually, he gave up, apologizing to Levi and putting his phone away until after the last game. When the final arrived, Eren found himself fighting to keep up with the players as they mingled on the field, camera never leaving his face. He snapped pictures as Jean sunk a well-placed goal, bypassing the goalie completely while the team cheered. _Wait… they’re all running now…_ Eren glanced at the scoreboard. _We won? We won the tournament. Pictures, Jaeger. Happy celebration pictures._ The camera came back up, aimed at the group of college students jumping up and down in the center of the field.

 

Later that night, the majority of the team flooded to Eren and Jean’s room for a celebratory party. Jean raised his bottle, gathering the attention of the very crowded room. “I just want to thank you guys for working your asses off this weekend! It paid off, and we’ve proven that we are a killer team! That’s gonna set some expectations for the main season, but we’ve got this! Cheers, guys, and let’s have some fun!” The room erupted into a chorus of cheers as beers were raised, then gulped down. _Now, I can finally focus my attention on Eren._

 

Eren flinched at the outbreak of noise. _Oh boy. This is going to be a long night… maybe they’ll all get drunk and leave early and I can go to bed…_ His thoughts were interrupted when Jean pushed a bottle into his hand. “Oh… No thank you, Jean… I really shouldn’t…” _I can’t, I shouldn't drink without Levi…_

 

“It’s okay, bright eyes.” Jean gave a reassuring smile, using his hand to close Eren’s around the bottle, his warm fingers lingering just a bit longer than they should. “No one will come check on us. Coach is out at the bar. As long as we stay out of trouble, he doesn’t care what we do. I’ll keep an eye out for you. Just relax; let loose a little. I’ve noticed how uptight you’ve been all weekend.”

 

Eren took the beer if for no other reason than to get Jean’s hand off of him. _I can just pretend to drink it and pour it down the drain or set it down later._ After he realized that Jean wasn’t going to leave him alone, Eren decided to down the beer. _I’m sorry Levi, but I need this if I’m going to make it  through this…_ Two beers later, he pulled out his phone to text Levi so he wouldn’t worry.

**Eren: sorry lebi, long day butwe won! Miss you, buuutttccoonnneee**

**Levi: That’s great to hear, babe. What are you doing now? Did you eat dinner yet?**

 

**Eren: theguys are celebrating. No, i havnt eaten yet. Ssorry….**

 

**Levi: Will you be eating?**

 

After waiting for several minutes with no text, Levi started to get worried. _He isn’t texting like he’s sober, and now he’s not answering._ No longer willing to wait, he pressed Eren’s contact, worry increasing as the call went to voicemail. _Dammit, brat… Answer the phone…_ He quickly hit redial, getting ready to grab his keys if Eren didn’t answer this time. _I know you haven’t been okay all weekend, and now this?_ Relief flooded through him as a familiar voice picked up.

 

“Levi? Sorry I missed your call the first time… It’s really loud here…”

 

“That’s okay… Are you okay?” _That’s a lot of voices… He said the team was celebrating. Is he with them?_

 

“Yeah, I’m good...The team is here celebrating their win. I guess because Jean’s the captain, they decided to have the party here.”

 

“That explains a lot. How many drinks have you had, and have you eaten anything?” _I knew those were drunk texts, plus he’s slurring. Where the fuck is the coach or something? Shouldn’t he be monitoring this?_

 

“Umm… th-three? I ate something small around lunch…” _Like, a pack of crackers from Jean’s backpack. But he doesn’t need to know that._

 

“Okay, I need you to stop drinking and eat something for me, babe. And I need you to call me again in thirty minutes… Please?” _I need to keep checking up on him, or this could get out of hand pretty quickly._

 

“Okay… I love you. I’ll talk to you soon.” He hung up after Levi responded, clearing out of the bathroom since someone had been knocking on the door. _No more. I’ve gotta be done. I told Levi I would._ He stopped short as the door swung open, Jean leaning against the wall right outside.

 

“You okay there, Jaeger? I was getting worried. You were in there for a bit.” Jean reached out a hand to brush stray hair out of the boy’s face but was stopped when Eren ducked and slipped past him.

 

“Yeah I’m good, I just had a call to make. Sorry…” _Stay away, I’m taken. Can’t you take a hint… I need to get involved with one of the other groups here so I’m not alone with him._ Eren glanced around the room, noticing a group of players starting a card game on Jean’s bed. _Bingo._ “Hey, guys! Deal me in. What are we playing?” He grabbed another beer when he realized he’d just volunteered for a game of strip poker while trapped in a room with a guy who was hitting on him enough as it was. _Well, shit. At least he can’t get me alone when I’m in the middle of a game._ The boy quickly discovered that he was horrible at poker, now two more beers in and missing shoes, socks, and his belt. _This isn’t good…_ “H-hey guys, ssorry, but I’ve gotta go make a phone call… I’ll be right back.” Stepping back into the bathroom, he called Levi, struggling to sound sober.

 

“How many have you had? You said you would stop.” _He sounds trashed. Almost as bad as the night he drank that half bottle of Jaeger._

 

“I.. I dunno… Like… s-six? Total. I think. Maybe. I lost count while we were playin poker. I’m not drunk, it’s okay, Levi.”

 

“Babe. Stop. No more, you’re not just buzzed or something. You need to drink water, please? Have you eaten? You told me you’d do that too.”

 

“I… uh..” _I haven’t had the chance… If I go off on my own, Jean finds me.._

 

“Eren. I need you to eat something and drink water. Please, and please call me back in fifteen?” Levi sighed as Eren ended the call. He grabbed his keys and sat by the door to wait. _Fifteen minutes. That's all you get before I’m coming to get you. You don’t know when to stop when it comes to alcohol._ When the call never came, he ran out the door, plugging the address to the boy’s hotel into his phone. _It’s only an hour away… this time of night, I can get there in 30 minutes. Please let him be okay until I get there…._

 

Eren was pressed against the wall as soon as he left the bathroom, the smell of alcohol filling his nose as golden eyes filled his vision. “Come on, bright eyes. Why are you avoiding me now? I thought we had something between us this weekend…” Jean was too close for comfort, leaning in as he spoke, lips brushing across Eren’s ear as a hand found it's way down the boy’s chest. Eren ducked again, slipping out of Jean’s arms and stumbling over to the bed.

 

“Come on, Cap! Leave the boy alone, he’s trying to lose all his clothes here. We’re in the middle of a game!” Jean quickly backed off at that, eyes widening as a blush crossed his cheeks.

 

 _Man, guys… don’t tell him that._ Eren sat back on the bed, picking up his cards and resuming the game. Fifteen minutes in, he lost his shirt. “I-I’m done, guys… Thanks for playing with me…” He slipped away, arms trying to cover his scarred chest as he moved toward his own bed. _I need a blanket or something to cover up…_ He froze when a pair of unfamiliar hands wrapped around him, fingers splaying out across his stomach. He tried to break out of the hold, but to no avail. Cold lips pressed wet kisses down his neck and along his shoulder.

 

“Jus lemme, Eren… I promise I’m good… You won’t regret it. I’ll make sure you enjoy it.” He drunkenly pushed Eren down onto the bed, fingers trailing along the boy’s bare sides.

 

“No! I don’t want this. Jean, stop!” Eren fought back as best he could, the alcohol impairing his ability to push the larger man off. Anger rose in him as Jean continued his sloppy kissing and moved his hand down to grope him. A strangled cry escaped him as he fought against his body’s response to the touch. _Levi… Help me! Please…_

 

Levi power walked into the hotel lobby, quickly spotting what appeared to be a very intoxicated athlete wearing their university logo. _Bingo. He’ll know where the party is._ “Hey, man! I’m late to the party, but I can’t remember the damn room number! Can you help a guy out?” The drunken player very quickly gave up the room number and continued to stumble out the hotel door. _2104, got it. I’m coming for you, babe. Please be okay…_ Levi took the steps two at a time, racing to the room. As he knocked, a heavily intoxicated and half naked soccer player answered the door, handing him a beer as the man slipped inside. Levi quickly looked around the room for his brat, eyes falling on a well-muscled jock with a beautiful tan boy under him. Eren was fighting the man off but making no progress. He lunged for the bed, grabbing Jean by the arm and throwing him off of Eren with ease. “EVERYONE GET THE FUCK OUT. PARTY’S OVER.” The players stumbled around, quickly grabbing their clothes and escaping through the door away from the small angry man.

 

Levi turned his attention back to Eren, finding the boy cowering half naked and crying, face full of anger. “Lebi! Y-You’re here!” The brunette cried out in shock. He pulled at the sheets, trying to cover himself.

 

“Are you okay? Did he do anything to hurt you?” He glared back at Jean, trying to decide whether he should beat the shit out of him or not.

 

“I-I’m okay, he didn’t do anything… C-can we just go home… I’m sorry, Lebi…” Levi tossed a shirt to him, grabbing the boy’s bag and his things. Turning back to Eren, he gave him a once over.

 

“Eren, why are you barefoot? Where are you shoes?” He looked around the room quickly for the boy’s shoes. Finding them, he helped him put them on before guiding him out the door. “You should learn to check and see if someone is taken before you try to make a pass at them,” he shot back over his shoulder toward Jean. “He’s mine, fucker, and I’m taking him home.”

 

Just as the boys cleared the front doors, Eren froze, then stumbled over to a row of hedges lining the parking lot. He heaved into the bushes as his body tried to purge the excessive amount of alcohol. Levi rushed over and rubbed the boy’s back, gently guiding him over to the car when he was done. As soon as Eren was in the front seat, he passed out, Levi praying that he would stay asleep and not puke before they got home. Back at their building, Levi carried the sleeping boy up to the apartment, changed his clothes, and laid him in bed. He placed a bucket on the nightstand, then climbed in beside his brat. “I love you, babe… I really hope that nothing did happen…”

 

The first thing to break through Eren's drunken slumber was a dull ache in his head. As he stirred slightly, the ache grew into a painful throb, and he tried to escape back into sleep. After a few minutes of this, he realized that sleep was not going to come. Cracking open an eye, he gazed around the bright room. It was morning, and from what he could tell, he was alone in his own bed. _Ugh… How did I get here? Levi… Levi was there last night… He brought me home… Where is he?_

 

His question was answered as the bathroom door opened, the man emerging with wet hair and a towel around his waist. He looked over at the boy squinting at him from the bed. “Morning, sleepyhead. You look thrilled by the daylight.” Levi pulled his towel off and replaced it with sweatpants before approaching the bed, sitting next to Eren and running his fingers through the brunette hair. “You okay, there? How do you feel?”

 

Eren opened his tired eyes a bit more and met Levi’s gaze. “My head hurts.”

 

Levi laughed softly and got up from the bed, disappearing for a moment before returning with two small white pills and some water. “You don’t say. Here, take these.” He helped Eren move to a sitting position before handing him the tablets and the water. The boy tried to hand the glass back after swallowing, but Levi pushed it back into his hand. “Nope. Drink it. All of it. Now would be good.” Eren gave him a pained expression before complying, finishing the water slowly. This time, Levi took the glass, placing it on the nightstand before turning back to his brat. “You should eat, too. Any chance of that happening yet?”

 

Eren considered the idea of food. “Maybe… I really can’t tell how my stomach feels…”

 

 _That’s because you haven’t eaten a decent meal since you left on Friday…_ “I’ll bring you something small, okay? Give me a minute.” Levi got up and went to the kitchen, grabbing a banana and heading back to the bed. “Try this.” He partially peeled the fruit and passed it to the boy in front of him.

 

Eren took the banana, peeling it a bit more. _I should really try to eat… it’s been awhile… I know I must be hungry…_ He brought it to his lips and took a small bite, chewing and swallowing before relaxing a bit. “I think I can eat this… thank you.”

 

Levi nodded and watched as Eren slowly finished the fruit before taking the peel from him. “Do you want something else? Or should we talk about last night?”

 

 _None of the above, please._ “Actually, can I take a shower instead? I’ll try to eat more later…” _I’m just going to bypass that last question for now. I don’t want to see the disappointment on your face when we talk about how I drank when I promised I wouldn’t…_

 

“Yeah, of course. But… are you good to move around without falling over? I can give you a hand if you want…” Levi stood as Eren began to slide off the bed, going around to stand next to him. The boy held onto him for a moment when his feet hit the floor. He closed his eyes as Levi waited. “...Maybe you should take a bath…”

 

Eren shook his head. “No… I’m good. Just maybe help me get to the shower…” The man obliged, trailing behind the brunette as he made his way into the bathroom. Levi reached into the shower to turn on the water as Eren began stripping off his clothes. “Thanks… I think I can get it from here.” The boy stepped into the stream of water and smiled at Levi, letting him know he was okay. He turned his attention to the shampoo as soon as he was alone, focusing on staying upright on the slick floor. _Maybe he was right… a bath would have been easier… I mean, I could just…_ Eren let himself sink to the floor, staying under the water and letting it roll down his back. He pulled his knees to his chest as he sat with his eyes closed and enjoyed the warmth. _This feels so good… And Levi’s being really nice, even with everything that happened… He hasn’t even asked me about the drinking… Or Jean… Oh, god… Jean was on top of me when Levi came in… He wouldn’t stop… He was… He could have…_ Eren felt his pulse pick up a bit as his now-clear mind pictured the events of last night. _He had me pinned. I was trying to stop him, but… Oh my god, it could have happened again… If Levi hadn't gotten there when he did and pulled him off of me… I was almost…_ The boy’s chest tightened, his breath coming in shorter gasps as the realization struck him. _I was almost raped last night. Again. Levi… Levi…!_ “Levi!” He cried out in desperation as loud as he could given his lack of air, his body trembling as the panic set in. _He needs to hear me over the water… I need him…_ “L-Levi…” He called again, softer, as he fought for breath.

 

The man was in the kitchen pulling ingredients from the fridge and pantry. _He’ll eat pancakes, I’m sure. He seems a lot more okay than the last time he got drunk… He really needs to eat more while he can stomach it, just in case. And these are mild enough…_ As he set the flour on the counter, he heard a muffled voice calling out. _Eren? That sounded like my name…_ Abandoning the dry goods, he made his way through the living room and into the bedroom, listening for the boy as he went. He was just inside the door to the bedroom when he heard a smaller voice shaking through the bathroom. _That was definitely my name. And he doesn’t sound okay…_ Levi moved faster as he crossed the bedroom and entered the bathroom, immediately moving to the shower and pulling the door open. Eren was in a ball on the floor in the middle of the shower, his body shaking, breath trying to leave him. “Eren?” The man stepped into the stall, sitting on his knees behind the boy and wrapping his arms around his trembling frame. He nestled his chin between Eren’s neck and shoulder. “You’re safe, babe… Just breathe for me…” Levi kissed the back of Eren’s wet head, trying to soothe him. “It’s okay, you’re okay… I’ve got you… Breathe… Inhale, exhale…” He rubbed the boy’s arms as he felt him draw shaky breaths, willing his lungs to inflate. After a few moments, Eren’s trembling had lessened, and his breathing had begun to normalize. “Shhhh, you’re doing great, babe. Keep breathing.” Levi reached up, turning off the shower before stepping away from Eren for a moment to grab a towel. He wrapped the boy tightly and helped him stand, slowly leading him out of the shower and toweling him off. When he was dry, Levi guided him out to the bedroom to find him something to wear.

 

Eren was quiet as he donned the clothes that he was handed, focusing on his breathing and on not getting too nauseous. The hyperventilation had made his hungover stomach uneasy. He allowed himself to be led to the bed, where he sunk down into the blankets and curled up once again.

 

Levi stripped off his own wet clothes and quickly used Eren’s discarded towel to dry off as well before slipping into new clothing. He joined Eren on the bed, pulling him into his lap and holding him securely against his chest. When the boy had relaxed a bit more, Levi spoke up. “Can you tell me what happened? You seemed okay when you got in… a little hungover, maybe, but otherwise okay…”

 

Eren felt tears leak out of his eyes and travel down his cheek onto Levi’s shirt. “L-Last night… Jean… He almost… I was almost…” Before he could finish his thought, his voice failed him, emotion choking out the sound. He began to tremble again as more tears clouded his vision.

 

Levi rested his chin on the boy’s head, holding him close and rubbing his back. “But you weren’t. I got there in time… I’m so sorry you had to go through that, Eren… And I’m so glad I left when I did and drove as fast as I did. He didn’t have a chance to hurt you. You’re okay…” He continued holding the brunette and letting him cry on his chest, giving him comforting touches and kissing his head. When Eren had settled somewhat, Levi spoke up again. “Although, it would have been easier for you to get away if…” He stopped, not wanting to make the boy feel guilty when he already felt awful.

 

“...If I hadn’t been drinking like I told you I wouldn’t.” Eren finished for him. “Yeah, I know. But… I only started because Jean kept hitting on me. I couldn’t get rid of him. He followed me everywhere… Eventually, when I’d had enough to drink, he found me and started… That’s when you got there…” He tipped his head back and blinked at the man above him. “Thank you, by the way.”

 

Levi kissed his forehead softly. “Anytime, babe. I live for rescuing the love of my life from handsy fuckers who don’t deserve a single hair on that perfect head of yours. Chivalry and all that.” He mirrored the brunette’s smile, kissing him again, this time on the lips. “Forget about that jackass. He’s never touching you again. You’re mine. That okay with you?”

 

“That sounds fucking perfect to me.” Eren nestled his head back into the man’s chest, closing his eyes and listening to Levi’s steady breathing as he calmed completely.

 

Levi enjoyed the closeness for a few minutes before remembering something. “Oh, Eren?”

 

“Mhm?”

 

“Why the fuck weren’t you wearing shoes?”

 

Eren popped an eye open. “I… kind of… bet them.”

 

Levi raised an eyebrow, tilting the boy’s chin back up. “Why the fuck did you bet your shoes? Why would anyone need to bet their shoes?”

 

“Because if you don’t bet your shoes in strip poker, you have to bet more important articles of clothing instead…” He felt Levi shake with laughter, enjoying the wide grin plastered on the man’s face as he gazed down at Eren.

 

“Well okay then. I relent. I’m all for the shoe-betting if it keeps that gorgeous body of yours covered in a room full of horny, drunk jocks.” He thought for a moment. “You were losing, weren’t you? You didn’t have a shirt either…”

 

Eren nodded. “Yeah, I suck at poker. I was just trying to keep busy with a group so I wouldn’t be off by myself. It worked for a while…” He stopped as he felt a pang of hunger in his stomach, followed by a low growl. “Hey…”

 

“Yes. You can have food. I was actually about to make pancakes if that sounds good.” Levi smiled as he released the boy so he could sit up. “I need to get you caught up from this weekend anyway. From what I gathered, you ate about three actual meals the whole time you were gone.” He slid off the bed after Eren, following closely behind him as the boy made his way to the kitchen. Levi had just begun to measure out ingredients when he heard a voice pipe up from the breakfast bar.

 

“Can they have strawberries?”

 

The man smiled to himself before turning to look his brat in the eye. “And if I told you we were out?”

 

Eren’s eyes grew wide, his brows knitting together in concern. “Then I shall starve.” He slowly lowered the top half of his body onto the counter, his expression woeful.

 

“Well, it’s a good thing we have some then.” Levi rolled his eyes and returned to his cooking before muttering over his shoulder. “Brat.” He continued mixing ingredients, oblivious to the dazzling smile that Eren gave as he stared at his small, raven-haired love.

 

_I’m going to marry you one day, Levi. And then I can show all the handsy fuckers the ring you’ve put on my finger. Just you wait._


	32. Marshmallow Fluff (formerly known as *Indecisive Shrug of Indecision*)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for some fluffy goodness :3
> 
> Remember to feed the authors comments! <3

The next few weeks passed in a blissful bore. Levi had never been more grateful for the lull in excitement.  _ I swear, this kid will be the death of me one day. I love him so much, but fuck does his keep me on my toes.  _ He pulled his scarf tighter around his neck as he walked to meet Eren for lunch. Late September had brought a chill in the air that Levi did not appreciate. He shivered as he buttoned up his jacket to seal out the cold.  _ I fucking hate the cold…. _ He growled under his breath as he rounded the corner and found Eren backed against a wall with a very tall, very unwelcome horseface leaning over him.  _ Oh, that motherfucker. Has he not caused enough trouble as it is? _ Levi closed the gap between them in moments, grabbing the offending figure by the collar and dragging him away as he placed himself between the two. “The fuck are you doing to him, you horse faced bastard? Haven’t you caused enough harm to last a lifetime?” Levi may have been vertically challenged, but he knew he was intimidating when crossed. 

 

Anger flitted across Jean’s face before he quickly realized that he was outmatched and that the little raven haired midget before him was right. “I… I didn’t mean it. I didn’t realize he had a boyfriend already, and I was drunk. I would never force myself on him like that.” Jean looked over Levi’s head, meeting Eren’s frightened eyes. “I didn’t mean to scare you, and I’m sorry. I’d like to start over if you’ll let me? Just as friends?” 

 

“Tch, as if he’d -” Levi turned quickly as a small voice spoke behind him. 

 

“Okay…”

 

“Eren, are you sure? After everything this asshole did? I remember what you were like the day after that…” Levi’s eyes searched the boy’s face for any semblance of uncertainty.  _ What the hell is he thinking? I don’t want this asshole anywhere near him, much less friends with him. _

 

“Yeah… Why not? It could be fun having another friend. I really only have you, Armin, and Erwin after all.”

 

Levi raised a brow, crossed his arms, and popped his hip. “Oh? I’m a friend? Man, and I thought there was something more between us. I guess I just imagined all that killer sex.” He smirked as Eren’s face turned ten shades of red before he hid behind his hands. 

 

“OH MY GOD. IS THAT NECESSARY? You knew what I meant!”  _ The fuck was that for. Really? In front of someone? In front of Jean, at that? Like for real. Christ, Levi.  _ Eren grabbed Levi by the wrist and dragged him off in the direction of the parking lot, calling back over his shoulder to the very embarrassed Jean. “Just text me. You still have my number from the tournament I’m sure.” 

 

Levi struggled to stifle a laugh as he was dragged through the building and outside. “So no lunch then?” He chuckled softly, covering his mouth with his hand to hide his smile as a very exasperated Eren stopped and stared at him in disbelief.

 

“Stop laughing! Are you seriously gonna pretend that didn’t just happen?” The brunette crossed his arms and huffed, looking away from the smaller man.  _ Even if that was fucking embarrassing, I can’t be mad at him… He looks too fucking cute right now for that. _ The blush refused to leave his cheeks as he glanced down at the still giggling Levi bundled up in his coat and scarf.  _ He looks so much smaller like that. God he’d kill me if I said that out loud. Ugh. He looks so damn fuckable right now…  _ Eren tried to think long enough to determine if he could afford to miss the rest of his classes for the day.  _ Yeah. It’s worth it. I can catch up later.  _ “We can eat lunch at home, let’s go.” He grabbed Levi by the hand again and pulled him off to the car. 

 

“What? Hold up, kid. You’ve still got class, we can’t just go home.”  _ The fuck is he thinking? We’re not skipping class. _

 

“Levi. You have thoroughly embarrassed me. And you look fucking adorable right now. We are going home, and I am thoroughly fucking you in the ass. Class can come later.” He smirked when Levi squeaked behind him and stopped, the older man stumbling when Eren kept walking.

 

“Wait, but…”  _ What the fuck is wrong with me. Never mind. Let’s go.  _ Levi pulled his keys out of his pocket and sped up to walk beside Eren, glancing up to catch the mischievous glimmer in the boy’s eyes.  _ This should be fucking entertaining.  _ Driving home, Levi tensed as Eren’s hand slid across his thigh, fingers brushing against his already hardening length.  _ Oh, that little fucker… _ “If you want to get home in one piece, you should keep your hands to yourself, brat.” 

 

“Oh relax, we’re almost there.” Eren smirked as he squeezed Levi’s thigh before pulling back his hand.  _ I hope he’s ready because I’m in control today. After that little stunt back there, he has no fucking say.  _ Back at the apartment, the boys hurried to the elevator, Eren once again dragging Levi by the hand.  _ You’re not fucking getting out of this one. Not that you would even want to. I’d bet money you want this as much as I do right now.  _

 

“Fuck, Eren. Slow down. You and your god damn long legs. We’ll still get to bed just as fast. I just won’t already be out of breath when we get there.” 

 

“Sorry babe, no can do. I need you now.” Eren stopped short, kissing Levi before scooping him up off the ground. “There, now you don’t have to keep up with me.” He winked and took off down the the hall toward their apartment. 

 

Levi gripped his shirt, grumbling and blushing faintly. “If you drop me, I’ll fucking pound your ass into next Tuesday…”    
  
“Oh babe, you won’t be able to pound anyone’s ass when I’m done with you.” Eren couldn’t help but laugh at the shock on Levi’s face. He struggled to get his own keys out to unlock the door, Levi arguing about how it would be easier if he would just put him down. Finally the door swung open, Eren kicking it shut behind them as he hurried to the bedroom. He gently laid Levi on the edge of the bed and kicked off his shoes. 

 

“Don’t just throw shit wherever, Eren. I do try to keep the apartment presentable…” Levi didn’t really mean that. There was something irritatingly sexy about his brat being so eager that he couldn’t get out of his clothes fast enough. 

 

“I’ll clean up later. It’ll be fine.” He smirked as Levi’s eyes stopped at his barely exposed stomach. Grabbing the edges of his shirt, he pulled it slowly up over his head, letting it drop to the floor behind him. “Oh? Do you like what you see?” He slid his hands back down his chest, biting his lip teasingly as he thumbed at his own nipples, eyes never leaving Levi’s intense, heated gaze. Continuing down, he slowly unbuttoned his jeans, pulling the zipper down and leaving them hanging on his hips. “Oh… Well, I can’t very well lose any more of my clothes when you’re still laying there like you’re going out for a winter stroll.” 

 

Levi hadn’t even noticed his own lustful breathing until Eren directed the attention back to him. He pulled his scarf off and started to unbutton his coat as Eren made quick work of his shoes, hands sliding up his slender legs. He pressed a palm over Levi’s already twitching member as his fingers hooked into the waistband of his pants. “Shit, Eren… Since when are you such a tease…” 

 

“Since you decided it would be fun to share our sex life with horse face. You like it.” Eren smirked, taking his time with the older man’s belt and pants as Levi groaned beneath him, hips lifting as he tried to press his aching member back into the boy’s hand. “Patience is a virtue, babe.” 

 

“Fuck you and your virtues. No. Scratch that. Fuck the virtues, and you fuck me. Now for the love of christ, get rid of the god damn pants!” Levi managed to get out of his coat and strip off his sweater before Eren finally dropped his pants to the ground, his twitching length straining against his underwear. He groaned as Eren pressed a kiss to the fabric, wishing he would get rid of the rest of the offending clothing. He made a move to remove them himself only to have the boy pin his wrists to the bed on either side of him. 

 

“Ah, ah, ah. Who said you could take those off. I quite like them. You look sexy like that.” Levi groaned, straining against Eren’s hold. 

 

_ When did he get this strong? And since when is he such a goddamn tease! _ “Eren…”

 

“You better beg for it, babe. I could go all afternoon like this…”  _ I’m not backing down on this one. I’m in charge today. I’m enjoying this way too fucking much to give him back the reins right now.  _

 

“Hell will freeze over the day you hear me beg, brat.” 

 

Eren chuckled as he brushed his lips along Levi’s neck, his hot breath sending a thrill through the older man. “We’ll see about that… Now, don’t move.” Releasing his hold on Levi’s wrists, he removed the remainder of his own clothing, hissing softly as the cold air hit his dripping member. 

 

“You could do a lot more with that if I wasn’t wearing these damn briefs, you know…” 

 

“Oh trust me, I can do a hell of a lot with you just the way you are, Levi. Don’t underestimate me.” Climbing into bed alongside the man, he motioned for him to slide closer to the middle. He lowered his voice, taking on a commanding tone that Levi had never heard from him before. “Suck me.” The sound went straight between the man’s legs. Never in a million years had he ever thought someone would command him, but he was more than happy to oblige in this moment. 

 

Adjusting so he was on his knees, Levi took Eren’s length in his mouth. He smirked when Eren groaned at the wet heat enveloping him.  _ I’m still in charge here, silly brat. _ He gasped as Eren slipped a hand into his underwear, a lubed finger pressing against his entrance. 

 

Eren’s voice held more authority than Levi had ever heard him use before as he spoke. “Levi. Don’t stop unless I say you can stop.” He continued pressing a digit into his lover’s tight hole when Levi started moving again. Eren bit his lip, suppressing a moan as the man took his full length in _. Holy fuck, babe… So fucking good…  _  The brunette groaned as Levi moaned around his member as he stretched him. “That’s enough. I want you to lose the underwear and turn around. Show me that beautiful ass of yours. I think it deserves to be punished after what you pulled earlier.” 

 

Levi moved quickly, thankful that he was finally going to get some relief of his own. “Come on Eren, don’t tease anymore. Just give me your cock… you’re never like this, and you’ve got me hurting I’m so hard…” 

 

Eren smirked, smacking the man firmly on his now bare ass. “Babe, I’ll do what I want when I want today. And you’re going to sit there and enjoy every goddamn second of it.” 

 

Levi shivered at the boy’s tone. “A-Ah… fuck, kid…” He cried out sharply each time Eren planted his palm on his ass, body trembling as each strike went straight to his aching length. “E-Eren… please… I need you…” He panted as Eren wrapped his arms around his waist, planting soft kisses down his spine, gasping as the boy wrapped a gentle hand around his length. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, Eren’s touch overwhelming him. “P-Please babe… I can’t take anymore of this…” 

 

Eren nipped at the shell of Levi’s ear, his voice low and raw with desire. “Tell me how badly you want me… Tell me how good you feel… Tell me how badly you want my thick, hard, cock in your tight ass…” 

 

“I need you right now… I’m so hard it hurts… every inch of my skin is on fire where you’ve touched me… I need you so badly that my ass is twitching at the mere thought of you in me… please Eren… please don’t make me wait anymore…” Levi squirmed, pressing his tender backside against Eren’s dripping erection. 

 

The brunette smirked as he pressed his length into Levi’s ready entrance, moaning as he paused to adjust to the tight heat surrounding him. Fingers gripped the older man’s toned hips as he thrust into him at a merciless pace, Levi crying out in pleasure beneath him. “Shit, Levi, you’re so fucking tight…”

 

“A-Ah! Eren… F-Fuck! I-I’m not going to l-last much longer…” 

 

“Don’t you dare come without asking.” Eren reached around, firmly gripping the base of Levi’s length, groaning as Levi’s ass clenched around him.

 

“P-Please! L-Let me come! I can’t…” Eren pounded into him another few thrusts before releasing his grip, pulling Levi’s body up against his own.

 

Nipping at the man’s neck, he held his toned chest as he gave permission. “Come for me, Levi. Let me hear you scream…” He bit into Levi’s shoulder as the man came in his arms, his body spasming under the boy’s touch. Eren growled softly as he tightened around Levi, finding his own release as the two collapsed onto the bed. 

 

“F-Fuck… W-When did you get so fucking good at this….” Levi’s voice trembled as he fought to catch his breath.

 

Eren chuckled softly, nuzzling into the older man’s neck. “Apparently since an hour ago. I don’t know. I was so embarrassed when you did that, and I just wanted to get back at you… All I could think was how I wanted to fuck your ass so hard that you couldn’t walk.” 

 

Levi groaned quietly, his voice raw. “Well hip hip hooray. You’ve accomplished your goal. I don’t think I’ll be able to walk straight for the next week….” 

 

Eren absentmindedly traced his fingers along Levi’s side, kissing along his neck. “Well good. You deserved tha--” His thought was cut short as Levi squeaked and lunged away from his chest. Eren’s eyes widened in shock as he tried to figure out what had just happened and why Levi was suddenly on the other side of the bed. 

 

“Don’t. Fucking. Do that.” Levi glared at him with wide eyes, arms wrapped around his sides. 

 

Eren burst out laughing when he realized what had just happened. “Oh my god… hah! Y-You’re ticklish… Aren’t you?”

 

“So what if I am! Shut up, brat….” His face tinged red as he went to roll off the bed, legs buckling beneath him as he crumpled to the floor. “God fucking dammit!” The brunette laughed harder as he crawled over to the edge of the bed to check on him. “Quit laughing your goddamn ass off and help me! This is your fault!” 

 

“S-Sorry Levi.” He apologized as he wiped tears from his eyes. “I’ve never heard you react so strongly before. Did I bruise your little ego, or just your fantastic ass?” Climbing off the bed, he lifted his lover off the floor and took him to the bathroom, Levi growling and mumbling profanities all the way. He gingerly set the man on the counter and went to start a bath, knowing full well Levi would need it. Once the tub was full of steaming hot water, Eren retrieved the still grumbling Levi from the counter. Kissing him softly on the forehead, he lowered him into the tub and sat on the edge. “I love you, Levi. Just so you know.” He smiled softly, playfully splashing water up in the man’s face. 

 

Levi sighed and sunk down until the water was up to his chin. “Yeah… I love you too, brat…”  _ I’m gonna get back at your ass… Just you wai--- Oh. Hah. you’re getting it now. _ Levi smirked and reached up, cupping Eren’s face as he brushed his thumb along the boy’s cheek. Eren leaned into the touch just enough that Levi could wrap his other arm around him, pulling him down into the water. “There. Now we’re even, you little asshole.” He chuckled as he kissed the now dripping Eren. The two of them relaxed into the water, Levi brushing his fingers through the boy’s hair as he started to doze on his chest.  _ It will always amaze me how you can fall asleep anywhere now. I really do fucking love you though. Even if you are a little shit sometimes.  _

 

Levi sighed as the water grew cold around them. “Come on, babe… wake up… You’re going to catch a cold if we stay in this tub.” Eren shifted, curling up tighter into Levi’s chest. “Come on, brat. I can’t carry you this time. I’m barely going to be able to keep myself upright.” Levi rolled his eyes as a triumphant grin spread across the boy’s face.  _ You little faking shit.   _ He sat up, slipping carefully out of the tub and letting Eren fall into the water, smirking as the boy struggled to right himself. “Tch. That’s what you get for faking it, brat. Now get out before you catch pneumonia or something.”

 

Eren stood up, shivering as the cool air hit his wet skin. “I’m fine, Levi. It’s not that cold.” He quickly grabbed a towel, doing his best to cover up the goosebumps on his arms. 

 

Levi looked back, sighing as he brushed a thumb along the boy’s blue-tinged lips. “Right… Sure it’s not. Come on, let’s get you some clothes, you little penguin.” Wrapped in his own towel, Levi directed the brunette toward their room and set him on the bed before going to retrieve clothes for both of them. He tossed them into Eren’s lap as he kissed him softly. “Get dressed, brat. I prefer you with that sexy tan I know and love, not the Mr. Freeze look.”

 

Eren gaped at Levi before shaking his head and pulling the hoodie over his wet hair. “Did you really just compare me to a Batman villain? Really?” 

 

“So what if I did?” He shrugged and ruffled the boy’s hair. “Got a problem with that?” Levi smiled gently as Eren chuckled, pulling on the rest of his clothes. 

 

“No problem. Mr. Freeze is a tragic villain though. His wife died. Or actually, she was murdered by Poison Ivy. But those are just details.” Eren shrugged, giving Levi a playful grin. 

 

“Okay, nerd, you’re getting into details I know nothing about. No more Batman references. Got it. Anyway, I’m starving and you have deprived me of lunch long enough. Let’s go eat.”

 

Eren followed Levi to the kitchen, grinning as he went. “I didn’t hear you complaining while I was giving you the best damn orgasm you’ve ever had.” He had to keep from laughing, watching Levi’s ears turn red as he walked faster into the kitchen to start lunch.  

  
  


The week had gone by in a blur for Levi. He spent most of his time preparing his thesis presentation for Monday.  _ God, this makes me nervous. I’m already submitting all this so close to the deadline… October 9th is only five days shy of the cut off...   _

 

“Levi, babe, you okay? You’re going to burn dinner there…” Levi jumped as Eren wrapped his arms around the smaller man’s waist, pulling him out of his thoughts. 

 

“Fuck. Sorry. Yeah, I’m good. Just thinking.” Levi turned his head, kissing the brunette on the cheek. “Thanks for saving dinner. You’re a hero to all hungry stomachs.” Eren smiled down at the older man, still worried about what could have caused Levi to zone out like that. 

 

Eren rested his chin on the man’s shoulder and watched as he continued to work on dinner. “Can I help? I can listen or try to cook for you. Whatever you need…” 

 

“You’re fine, babe. I was just thinking about my presentation Monday, nothing major. How about you go ahead and get drinks and set the table. I’m almost done here anyway.”  _ I hope I haven’t ruined this. Not that it’s hard to ruin Hamburger Helper. This stuff is shit anyway. But I’m too tired this week to do much more than this. Maybe after Monday.  _ Levi plated dinner and joined Eren at the table. He tried to keep his attention on Eren’s excited chatter about his new favorite anime, but he just couldn’t focus. He’d have to make that up to the boy later. 

 

Later that evening laying in bed, Eren curled up against the dark haired man. “Are you sure you’re okay, Levi? You’ve been really quiet tonight. You know you can talk to me the same as you expect me to talk to you, right?” 

 

Levi ran his fingers through the boy’s hair, taking a deep breath. “I’m fine, Eren. Really I am. I’m just tired is all. It’s been a long week getting ready for Monday, that’s all. Just go to sleep, babe.” He kissed the top of his head, settling in and quickly falling asleep. 

 

He woke again after what felt like only a few minutes, squinting at the bright LED as he checked the time on his phone.  _ 3:00 AM? Really? I couldn’t have slept for two more hours? _ He sighed and slipped out of bed, smiling softly at Eren sprawled out across the majority of the bed.  _ Well at least he’s sleeping well. That’s certainly an improvement from a few months ago.  _ Levi silently moved across the room, quietly opening the balcony door and stepping out into the crisp night air. Leaning against the cool metal railing, he looked up at the stars.  _ It’s a shame that it’s a full moon out tonight… It would have been nice to be able to see Venus. At least I can still see most of the brighter stars.  _ He quickly picked out Aquarius and Pisces, the moon too bright to find many other constellations. For the first time all week, his mind was finally quiet, taking in the natural beauty of the night sky, pulling on his knowledge of the stars and finding the familiar clusters in the vast black of space. 

 

Eren shivered, reaching over toward Levi to curl into his always warm body, only to find cold sheets where he should have been. “Levi…?” He sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he glanced around the room. His gaze fell on the open french doors.  _ What is he doing…? _ Stumbling out of bed, he made his way to the door, finding Levi leaning against the railing. Thoughts jumping to the worst possible scenario, he rushed to wrap his arms around his lover’s waist, pulling him back into his chest. “Don’t do it! Please…. I need you… Why won’t you talk to me....” 

 

Levi tensed as he was pulled back, losing his center of balance. Confusion passed over him at Eren’s words before understanding dawned. He felt bad for laughing, but he couldn’t help it, covering his mouth to try and suppress his chuckles as he relaxed against Eren’s firm chest. “Eren, it’s okay. I wasn’t going to jump. I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to do a bit of stargazing instead.” He turned in the boy’s arms as he loosened his grip, pressing his cold palm to Eren’s cheek, pulling him down for a kiss. “The stars calm me down. It’s a hobby of mine. I’m just stressed out over this damn thesis. If they don’t like what I have to say on Monday, then I won’t be able to graduate in May.” 

 

Eren relaxed, a few stray tears slipping down his cheeks as he laced his fingers in the man’s soft undercut, pulling him to his chest. “You could have told me… I could have helped. I’m sorry… You really scared me though.”  _ Stars, huh? Hmm…  _ Eren filed that tidbit away, plans slowly starting to form as he tried to think of ways to help Levi. 

 

“I’m sorry for scaring you, kid. I didn’t think you’d wake up. Come on, let’s go back to bed.” The couple headed back to the warm room, Levi rubbing his bare arms as he realized how cold he actually was. Back in bed, Eren pulled Levi into his arms, wrapping them both in the blankets as they faded back into sleep. 

 

Monday morning found Levi on edge. No matter what Eren tried, he couldn’t convince the older man to eat breakfast before heading to campus. “Levi, please…. You need to eat something. What if you pass out in the middle of your presentation because you didn’t?”

 

“Trust me. I’m fully aware of that risk, but there is no fucking way I could eat. I just need to hurry up and get this damn thing over with so that life can go back to normal. I’ll eat after.” He tapped his finger anxiously on the steering wheel, chewing on his lip as he maneuvered through the morning traffic to the university. 

 

As soon as they parked, Eren jumped out of the Q7 with his bag and ran around to Levi’s side. Once the man’s feet hit the ground, Eren pulled him into his chest, wrapping his arms around him, fingers lacing through his hair. “You’re going to blow them out of the water. You’ve got this. You’re brilliant, wonderful, intelligent, and heaven knows you’ve got one hell of a way with words. You’ve been working your ass off, and they’ll see that. There is no way they won’t approve your thesis. And we’ll celebrate at lunch how awesome you are, and you can tell me all about how it went.” Levi pulled away, cheeks flushed at the compliments. Eren pressed a kiss to his forehead before releasing him. “I love you, and you’ve got this.” 

 

As the morning slowly passed, Eren’s curiosity and anxiety were both amped significantly. When he finally caught sight of Levi walking toward him for lunch, he became worried. His heart sank as his tiny, angry, supernova of a boyfriend crossed campus.  _ Well, fuck...that can’t be good. _ As he got closer, Eren noticed that his pants were dirty, and he was rubbing his hands.  _ What the hell? _ “Levi? What happened? How did your presentation go?” 

 

“Oh, the presentation was fucking fantastic. Now I get to spend the next 7 months working my ass off to actually write my thesis.” 

 

“That’s a good thing though, right? That means they approved it, so why are you so angry?” Glancing down, he noticed that the older man’s hands were scraped up. He grabbed Levi’s wrists, turning them up to examine the damage. “What on earth happened?” He tried to catch Levi’s gaze but the smaller man stared at the ground, anger radiating off of him. 

 

“Yeah, it’s a good thing, Eren. And just some punk ass kid. Little cock sucker is lucky that I wasn’t in a fighting mood today. Son of a bitch apparently can’t stand me and decided it would be fun to trip me down the goddamn stairs on my way out of the building. If I hadn’t been in such a hurry to meet you for lunch, I would have ripped his fucking dick off. Little punk ass son of a bitch.” Levi was far from done but paused when he felt Eren’s grip tighten on his wrists, hands trembling. Looking up in confusion, he found raw anger in the boy’s bright green eyes. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Take a chill pill there, brat. It’s fine. I’m fine. Hold your horses.” 

 

“Me!? You want me to take a chill pill? Seriously? You’re obviously pissed, and I’m fucking pissed because someone dared to fucking touch you. What did he look like? I’m gonna kick his fucking ass.” Eren pushed past Levi, heading toward the lit building. He jerked to a stop as Levi grabbed his hand and pulled him back.

 

“Eren, no. It’s not worth it. Guys like that just want the attention fighting brings. I’m fine, and he’s not worth your time. I wasn’t paying attention. Let’s just go get lunch, please?” Eren looked back to meet his gaze, eyes aflame. The second he realized this was Levi begging him not be involved, he deflated, sighing as he closed the small gap between them and pulled Levi into his arms. 

 

“I want to protect you like you protect me…. It makes me so angry that anyone would even think of messing with you.” 

 

“It comes with the territory, kid. But I can handle myself. I wasn’t a teenage thug for nothing. I was just distracted today after that presentation. Now let’s get some food. I’m fucking starving.” Levi headed off toward their favorite sandwich shop, pulling Eren along behind him.

 

_ I really don’t want to leave this alone… But I’ll do what he wants… _ “I told you that you should have eaten breakfast, babe.” 

 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don’t rub it in.” Sitting down with their food, Levi shared how his presentation went. Eren couldn’t help but smile at how excited Levi got sharing his thesis and his plans for his research. “So, the next few months are going to be really busy, especially the next week or so as I get things set up for the rest of my time before May. So, I might not be available as much as I usually am… but if you need me, just tell me. I’ll drop it all, and we’ll do whatever you want to do.” 

 

Eren laughed, placing his hand over Levi’s. “Levi. I’m okay. I want you to focus on your thesis. I want to see you succeed, no matter what you have to do.”  _ I’ve already got an idea to help you relax after all this work. _ Eren had snuck out Sunday under the guise of picking up snack food while Levi was practicing his presentation.  _ One day this week, I’ve got a shit ton of stars to put up on the bedroom ceiling. That should be a good surprise. Then you can relax in bed. For once, I’ll do something for you.  _


	33. Echos from the Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this chapter!!
> 
> Remember to feed the authors yummy comments <3
> 
> Love you all and thank you so much for your continued support!

Eren was grateful the rest of their week lacked any surprises after the events of Monday. He did his best to take care of cooking while Levi planned his research and set up the rest of the semester. Saturday morning, Eren woke with a small note left on the nightstand. 

 

_ Had to go to campus,  _

_ I’ll be back in a few hours.  _

_ I’m sorry, Ocean Eyes. _

_ Love, _

_     Levi _

The brunette smiled reading the note. As much as he’d missed his lover the past few weeks, he knew the research was something that had to be done.  _ Oh! I can put up his stars while he’s out today! _ Getting up, Eren got ready for the day, made some breakfast, and went to work on the bedroom ceiling. He had his laptop out, using star charts to make his constellations as accurate as he possibly could, knowing that little details like that would mean a lot to Levi. 

 

He worked carefully across the room, legs tired from going up and down the ladder each time he had to check his laptop or move to a new section of ceiling. Putting up the last star, he stepped down, leaning back as he went to admire his handiwork. Suddenly, there was no step below him, and he was falling. The ceiling fell away in slow motion as he twisted, trying to catch himself, but to no avail. He cried out as his butt and left wrist caught his fall painfully on the floor. “Fucking hell! That fucking hurt like a mother fucker.” 

 

Pushing off his left hand, he tried to get up, falling back when searing pain shot through his arm.  _ Shit… that’s not good… _ holding his wrist close to his chest, he managed to pull himself up off the floor. He winced, knowing he would be feeling that fall tomorrow all through his back. However, his wrist was more concerning. Sitting gingerly on the edge of the bed, he carefully poked at his wrist.  _ He may have been a shit dad, but at least he taught me a few things that were worth remembering.  _ He bit his lip, hissing as sharp pain ran through him.  _ Fuck. I don’t think that’s just a sprain… Maybe I can just leave it. I’ll just be careful. I don’t want Levi to worry, not when he has so much going on with school. _  Somehow, he managed to put away the ladder and only jostled his wrist a grand total of three times. By now, the pain had him on the edge of being sick.  _ God, I don’t think I can keep going like this…  _

 

“Eren, I’m back, I’m sorry I had to go before you were up.” Eren tensed as Levi’s voice echoed through the apartment. He slipped his injured limb behind his back, supporting it with his right hand as he went to meet Levi. 

 

“It’s fine. I’m glad you’re back! Did you get everything done that you needed to?” He smiled sweetly, praying he wasn’t giving himself away. Levi dropped his bag onto the table, sinking into a chair and letting his head rest on his bag.

 

“Yeah, most of it. I still have some things to do. I’m sorry. I’ll probably be working on this the rest of the night. I’ll make dinner tonight though. You’ve been cooking too much; you deserve a break.” Eren tried to argue but was secretly thankful that he wouldn’t have to attempt cooking with a potentially broken wrist. 

 

“If you insist, but just do something simple. I don’t want to take away from your thesis.” Levi nodded, eyeing the boy suspiciously as the brunette pressed a kiss to his cheek. 

 

“Are you okay? You’re a bit… formal… today.” 

 

“Oh yeah, I’m fine. Sorry. I’ve been messing around on the computer all day, so I’m just out of it.” Eren rubbed the back of his neck, chuckling nervously.  _ Please leave it at that. Please.  _ “I’m actually kinda chilly, I’m gonna go change while you start working on food.” With that, the boy excused himself, escaping to the bathroom to try and support his wrist. Digging through the first aid kit, he managed to find a splint and an Ace bandage. Making quick work of the wrap, he donned a sweatshirt, pulling it down over his left hand to hide the wrapping before heading back out to the kitchen. “Whatever you’re making smells a hundred times better than anything I’ve made in the last two weeks. You’re a cooking god. Seriously.” Eren stood behind Levi as he worked, resting his chin on the man’s shoulder. He kissed his neck softly and carefully set his hands on the man’s hips.

 

“I highly doubt that. It’s just meatloaf. Ridiculously simple. But your compliments are greatly appreciated, as always.” Levi tilted his head, giving the boy access to more skin. He sighed as his favorite brunette took the hint and trailed kisses along the man’s pale throat. Levi shifted to pull the pan out of the oven. Even tired, his sharp eyes didn’t miss the grimace that passed over Eren’s face. “Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t look okay…” 

 

“Yeah! I’m fine. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  _ Abort! Abort! Jesus, he’s too observant.  _ Eren kissed his cheek, tickling his side with his good hand, desperate to distract him from that line of questioning. Levi jumped, the pan dropping to the counter. 

 

“Christ, Eren! Don’t do that!” He rolled his eyes at the innocent grin the boy shot him. He quickly plated dinner to escape from Eren’s mischief. “Come on, grab your plate, and let’s eat.” Pulling out his books as he ate, Levi went back to work on his thesis. Eren joined him at the table, keeping his left hand in his lap and away from any potential harm.   

 

The two ate mostly in silence as Levi continued his work. Eren took care of the dishes, managing to load the dishwasher and put away the leftovers without incident. “When do you think you’ll be ready for bed? It’s pretty late.” Levi glanced down at his phone, rubbing his eyes as he tried to stay awake. 

 

“Give me another thirty minutes and I’ll be there. Go ahead and get in bed. I promise I won’t be far behind.” Eren nodded, kissing the top of his head as he went by. 

 

“Okay, I’ll wait up for you. Love you, Levi.”

 

Levi looked up. Meeting the boy’s gaze he offered a tired smile. “I love you too, Eren. Be there in a minute.” 

 

Eren got into bed after taking some ibuprofen he found in the bathroom, making sure not to jostle his wrist more than he had to. He left the lamp on so that the stars would be as bright as possible when Levi came to bed. He yawned, wincing as his tense, bruised muscles relaxed for the first time all day.  _ Damn this sucks.  _ He struggled to fight off his exhaustion, but sleep came for him anyway. When he jumped awake, he realized the lamp was still on and the bed was still missing Levi. Checking his phone, he found he had been asleep for three hours.  _ Midnight? Come on, babe. You need sleep too… _ Climbing out of bed, he wandered back into the main part of the apartment. He sighed, approaching the table and what appeared to be a sleeping Levi. “Levi..?” When there was no response, he gently shook the man’s shoulder.  _ He’s out cold…  _

 

Pulling up a chair, Eren draped himself across the man’s shoulders and laid over his back, nestling his head into the back of Levi’s neck and wrapping his arms around his waist. After a few minutes, Levi stirred at the extra weight on him. Eren chuckled softly, kissing the back of the older man’s neck as he mumbled something incoherent. “Come on, Levi. It’s time for bed. You’ve done enough work for one night.” Levi mumbled again before standing sleepily with Eren. Halfway to the room, Levi stumbled, unable to stay standing any longer. Catching him, Eren looped his left arm carefully behind the man’s legs, avoiding hitting his wrist. He lifted him off the ground and carried him the rest of the way.  _ Holy fucking shit this hurts. I’m so glad he's half asleep…  _  Once they were both comfortably in bed, Eren turned out the light, smiling when he heard a soft gasp beside him. 

 

“When did you have time to do this…. They’re amazing… You even got the constellations right…” Levi slid closer to the boy, curling up against his right side, head on his chest. 

 

“I worked on it today since you went to campus. I’m glad you like it. Those damn star charts were confusing.” He a quiet chuckle slipped out as he thought back to how frustrated he had gotten trying to read them _ It actually wasn’t that bad. Until I fell off the damn ladder.  _ He smiled, wrapping his arm around the man at his side as Levi managed to slur out a small thank you as he fell back asleep. Eren turned his head, kissing the dark hair tenderly. “Anything to make you happy, Levi.”

 

Eren woke before Levi the next morning, thankful it was Sunday.  _ Maybe Levi can actually catch up on some much needed sleep.  _ Slipping out of bed, Eren went to start his morning routine. After brushing his teeth, he pulled off his shirt before turning his attention to his wrist. Hoping the ibuprofen he took had kicked in by now, he unwrapped his wrist, hissing as he lost what little support was there.  _ Well that’s an ugly sight… _ His wrist was various shades of black, blue, and purple, accompanied by some serious swelling. Holding it close, he tried to work his sweat pants off with his good hand. He froze with them halfway off his ass as a voice came from behind him. 

 

“What the fuck did you do?” Levi’s voice was full of worry and a hint of frustration. He had just woken up and wanted to take a shit but was met with a half naked and severely bruised Eren. “Your back looks like shit, did you get into a fight or something?” He walked up behind the boy, fingers gently examining the bruising, before looking up to catch the brunette’s eyes in the mirror. However, he didn’t make it that far, eyes stopping when they saw the very bruised and swollen wrist Eren was cradling to his chest. Stepping around him, the smaller man carefully took the boy’s wrist into his hand, looking up to meet a pair of guilt ridden green eyes. “Eren. What happened? I knew something was wrong last night…I’m so sorry I didn’t figure it out... You have to tell me things….”

 

Eren couldn’t keep the pain out of his voice as Levi examined his wrist, feeling sorry for not telling the man sooner. “I… I fell off the ladder when I was putting your stars up….” 

 

Levi felt a twinge of guilt as when he realized the injury was from something Eren had done for him. “You should have been more careful… You could have waited and let me help you…”

 

“But it wouldn’t have been the same. I wanted to surprise you with something that you seemed to really love. You’ve been so busy and stressed out. I wanted to give you something to help.” 

 

He reached up, brushing his fingers along the boy’s cheek. “And they’re amazing and perfect. Just like you are. But you mean so much more to me. I don’t want you to get hurt on my account. I’m really not worth it.” Confusion rushed through him as Eren’s eyes filled with a sudden anger, and he wrapped his good arm around Levi, pulling him close. He bit his lip as he growled through the pain of his wrist being crushed between the two of them. 

 

“You are so fucking worth it. If I can’t talk like that, neither can you. I would do it over again. I love you, Levi.” His legs grew weak as he came close to his pain threshold.  _ Oh fuck… Don’t pass out Jaeger… Don’t do it… _

 

“I love you too, brat. But I still don’t want to see you get hurt…” 

 

“H-Hey Levi..?”  _ Shit. I’m not staying up. _

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“Don’t let me fall.” No sooner had the words left his mouth, his knees gave out beneath him, the bathroom fading around him. He heard Levi frantically calling his name as his strong arms rushed to catch the falling brunette. A string of expletives was the last thing Eren heard before cold tile hit his skin, and his consciousness left him. 

  
  


When Eren awoke, he was in the front seat of the Q7 in sweats and a tshirt with his wrist in another makeshift splint. Looking around groggily, he noticed the sign above the door Levi had just pulled up to. “Oh, hell no! No doctors!” 

 

“Glad to see you’re finally awake. You’re like a sack of potatoes when you’re unconscious. Also you scared the shit out of me. And it’s not really a doctor… It’s an old friend of the family. They just run a small clinic. I figured a small office with a… well… I don’t know what they are. But anyway, this was a safer bet than the ER.” He pressed a hand to the boy’s thigh, urging him to calm down. “I'll be here the whole time anyway. But if your wrist is hurt so badly that you passed out, it’s probably broken, and it needs to be looked at.” 

 

The brunette calmed slightly. Knowing Levi would be there the whole time helped, though he was curious what type of person this was after Levi’s comment. Climbing out of the SUV, he supported himself on the door, Levi quickly at his side to help if he was needed. Once Eren felt more steady on his feet, he took a deep breath, and they headed into the clinic.  

 

“Welcome to the Zoё Clinic! What can we help you with today?” Eren froze at the boisterous person behind the counter, suddenly very intimidated. He looked to Levi and found him rubbing his temples with his free hand. 

 

“Hanji, could you be any louder? You’re going to scare the poor brat.” 

 

“Me? Scary? Never!” They shot Levi a look of mock horror before softening their tone and turning their attention to Eren, leaning over the counter. “Levi gave me a heads up call. Let’s take a look at that wrist of yours. Eren, right? I’m Dr. Zoё, but you can call me Hanji.” They gave him a soft smile, waiting for him to respond. 

 

Eren gave a small wave with his left hand since he refused to let go of Levi’s hand, wincing at the pain. “Yeah, that’s me. Nice to meet you, Hanji.” Even though they were loud, there was something comforting about them. Hanji had soft brown hair pulled up into a high ponytail, brown framed glasses, and a welcoming smile. He relaxed after taking it all in, realizing he probably had nothing to worry about. 

 

“Well! Let me check you out!” They disappeared behind the wall, reappearing at an open door, now sporting a white lab coat. 

 

Levi rolled his eyes, moving toward the door with Eren trailing behind. “I would prefer if you didn’t ‘check him out’ and simply examined his wrist. He’s taken. Obviously.” 

 

Hanji nearly doubled over in laughter, making Eren jump at the sudden outburst. “Shit, Levi, you’re too easy to mess with. I know he’s yours. It’s just too much fun to tug your leash though. You’re too cute, kiddo!” 

 

“Kiddo? Just how old are you? You don’t look any older than we are.” Eren wrinkled a brow in confusion as he asked, suddenly feeling guilty for asking how old they were. “Oh, wait! I’m sorry. You’re not supposed to just go around asking women how old they are... I’m sorry.” 

 

This caused them to burst into a full on belly laugh. “Oh my gosh, you are just too cute, Eren! I see why Levi likes you! Don’t worry about the gender, and I’m not easily offended, so don’t worry about that either. I turned thirty in September, I’m a bit older than Levi. I watched the kid grow up. I even babysat him a few times! He was quite the little heathen.” 

 

“Would you shut your trap, shitty glasses? He doesn’t need to know all that.” In an attempt to change the topic, Levi started to comment on the decorations in the hallway. “You’ve jumped into halloween mode already I see.” 

 

“Well of course I have, Levi! You know how much I love halloween! And if I remember correctly, so do you! You were always up for anything even remotely spooky. Do you still watch those god awful horror movies?” Eren glanced between the two, trying to keep up with their banter, curious when Hanji cringed at the mention of horror movies.

 

“I haven’t watched any in awhile. And I’ll never understand how you can love halloween so much but be such a scaredy cat about horror films.” He crossed his arms, raising a brow at the doctor as they guided Eren onto an exam table. 

 

“Eren, has he made you watch any of those horrid things yet? I should hope not. I swear he finds the scariest things. Straight from the depths of hell if you ask me.” Eren chuckled as a visible shiver ran through Hanji. 

 

“No, he actually hasn’t.” Looking around the doctor, Eren met Levi’s eyes. “I didn’t know you liked that kind of thing. I love scary stuff. Especially scary movies. How come we haven’t decorated the apartment for halloween yet then?” 

 

“I’ve never decorated my own apartment actually. I just enjoy the holiday. Let’s talk about this later... Hanji needs to take a look at your wrist.” Levi leaned back against the wall, keeping his eyes on Eren as they worked. 

 

“Oh, silly Levi! The cutie can keep talking while I work! Honestly it would be good to be distracted. So keep at it sweetie!” Hanji carefully unwrapped Eren’s wrist while the boys discussed halloween, Eren deciding quite adamantly that after this they were going to buy halloween decorations and pumpkins to carve. 

 

“Why on earth would you carve a pumpkin? What’s the point?”

 

“Well it’s fun, for one! And we can put them on the balcony with lights in them! It will be-- Fuck!” Levi jumped slightly at the expletive, worry creasing his brow as Eren quickly pulled his hand out of Hanji’s grasp.

 

“I’m sorry sweetie... I know it hurts, but if you pull away from me like that, you’re going to hurt yourself more.” Glancing over their shoulder, Hanji caught Levi’s gaze. “I think it might be a break. I need to do an x-ray for sure.” 

 

“Whatever you need to do, shitty glasses. You know money is no object. Just help him.” They nodded, attention going back to Eren. 

 

“Okay sugar plum! We need to go take super cool pictures that wrist of yours. Then I can help you out.” 

 

“I figured you would… I know what an x-ray is, Hanji. My… my dad was a doctor. I’m pretty familiar with the medical field.” His face darkened, shoulders drooping as he curled in on himself. 

 

Levi made a move to comfort him, but Hanji beat him to it. They put a hand on his knee, tilting his chin up like a child. “Chin up, buttercup! Slouchy posture is bad for your back! Now let's go get that x-ray.” Hanji led the way to another room, motioning Levi behind the partitioned wall. They set up the machine, laying Eren’s wrist across it. Going back with Levi, they pressed a button, readjusted the boy’s wrist, then went back and repeated the process. After four takes, they were content. “Alrighty, boys! Back to the exam room we go!” 

 

Once back in the first room, Hanji loaded the photos on a monitor up on the wall, examining each one. “Well, there’s good news, and there's bad news. Good news is you didn’t shatter your wrist. Bad news is it’s definitely broken. However, I think we can get by with a simple air cast. Modern medicine is fabulous! No need for those nasty, itchy, heavy plaster things. Blech! I’ll go grab you one I have on hand. You’ll need to wear it for the next eight to twelve weeks. I’m also going to get you some pretty decent painkillers. Nothing too strong, but definitely better than that over the counter stuff.”

 

Levi moved up in front of Eren, resting his hands on the boy’s knees as Hanji left the room. “Were you really going to try to keep this from me? A broken wrist? How were you even going to manage with that?” 

 

Eren sighed, watching Levi’s thumb rub circles against his knee. “I don’t know… I was going to try and take care of it on my own. You’re so busy with your thesis research. I don’t want to fuck up your last year of grad school. If it didn’t stop hurting, I was going to get help. Maybe.” 

 

“Eren. Fuck grad school. None of it means anything to me if I don’t have you. I realize it's just a broken wrist, and it's not life threatening, but that's how seriously I take it when you’re hurt…” He gasped when a pair of strong legs wrapped around his waist and pulled him closer. Eren pulled Levi’s face up toward his with his good hand, kissing him softly. 

 

“Do you know how much I’ve missed you touching me? Even if right now it's because you’re worried about me. I don’t care. I feel like it's been ages since we’ve done anything with how busy and tired you’ve been. And you’re just making me want you more by telling me all that. Knowing you care like that makes me so happy I can barely stand it.” Moving his hand, Eren laced his fingers through the older man’s hair, pulling his head back just enough to still be able to reach his lips. Careful to not hurt his left wrist, he captured the man’s lips again, kissing him greedily as he pulled him in closer. Levi was all too eager to oblige, hands sliding up the boy’s thighs as he licked along Eren’s bottom lip, nipping it gently, his tongue exploring the well known space as those swollen lips parted. 

 

“Ah-hem.” Eren sat straight up, legs falling from Levi’s waist as he turned six shades of red. Obviously, he had forgotten where they were and that Hanji would be back. Levi pressed his slender fingers to his lips, hiding a smirk as he stepped out of their way. “As cute as you love birds are, I think that it would be in the best interests of Eren’s wrist if I get this baby secured before you continue your snogging. After that, you cute little cupcakes can sex it up however you desire. Just not in my office. Unless that's a fetish of yours. In which case, I would ask that you wait until after hours. Can’t scare off any of my other patients.” They winked at Eren as they finished securing the brace around his wrist, handing Levi the bottle of painkillers. 

 

Eren was red as a tomato, hanging his head in embarrassment. “S-Sorry Hanji.”

 

“Oh, heavens! No need to apologize, my little butterscotch!” They patted the top of his head motioning him to jump down. “You boys are all set to go. Levi, you and I can settle up later. For now, take this little cherry pie home so he can let that wrist of his rest. And don’t be such a stranger! I fully expect to be invited to come visit sometime!” 

 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ll think about it, shitty glasses.” Eren smiled as he watched their interaction. Levi sounded annoyed, but he didn’t miss the small smile that hid at the corners of his lips. Taking Eren’s good hand in his own, Levi headed out of the office. “Come on, brat. See ya, Hanji. I’ll tell Maman and Papa you said hello.” 

 

“So, what store should we go to for halloween decorations? You’re not getting out of this one! I can’t believe you’ve never decorated for halloween or carved a pumpkin!” Eren’s eyes sparkled as he planned out all the decorations they could add to the apartment and what he was going to carve in his pumpkin, asking Levi what he might want to put on his. Levi smiled as he drove, the boy’s happiness radiating.    
  


Pulling up to the store, the duo got out of the SUV and made their way inside. Levi grabbed a cart and followed behind the ecstatic brunette as he grabbed various decorations. A large hanging skeleton that talked when someone walked past (for the apartment door apparently), various black cats, skeleton creatures, hanging bats, giant spiders, fake spider web, pillows; you name it, he grabbed it. The cart was full by the time they made it to the register. Finishing it off with two huge pumpkins, the boy grinned as he turned back to Levi. “I uh… I may have gotten a little carried away… I can help pay for this…” 

 

Levi shook his head, pulling out his card. “Don’t be silly, Eren. I’ve got it. What’s mine is yours. This is for our apartment, so it's for both of us. I’ve got it.” He struggled not to laugh as he swiped his card for the $400 decorations purchase, Eren doing some kind of spastic dance to his side as he tried to convince Levi to put some of the larger decorations back. The boy apologized all the way back to the car, explaining the various ways that he was going to make this up to him and pay him back. 

 

Once they had everything inside the apartment, Levi placed the pumpkins on the counter and started pulling various knives from the drawers. “Well, let's get this out of the way.”

 

“Are you sure? It’s going to be messy. And we have time before halloween….”

 

“Not that much time. It’s in two weeks. Besides, you were excited about this. It’ll be fine. Now come over here and show me how this works.”  After cutting out the tops and cleaning the insides, Levi held his hands up, now covered in slimy pumpkin and seeds. “This is fucking disgusting.”

 

Eren laughed as he caught Levi’s expression. “Well, I told you it was going to be messy.” Levi raised a brow at the brunette’s reaction, then smirked as he got an idea. Stepping forward, he reached up and grabbed the boy’s face between his slimy hands, smearing the pumpkin off on Eren’s face. 

 

The boy stared at him incredulously, taking a moment before words would form. “Seriously Levi?!?” Now it was Levi’s turn to laugh as his beloved brat huffed and tried to clean his face with a kitchen towel, grumbling something about how he never should have suggested pumpkin carving. 

 

Hours later they were both sitting on the end of the bed, mugs of tea in hand as they admired their handiwork while sitting on the balcony. “Now we just have to wait til dark so we can light them up! I can’t wait to see what they look like!” 

 

“They do look good. And even if it was disgusting, that was pretty fun. Do you want to put up the rest of the decorations? We have a couple of hours before dark. We can do some decorating, then eat dinner. We could watch one of my old horror films if you wanted, too.” 

 

Eren jumped up off the bed, heading for the main part of the apartment. “Yes! That sounds perfect! Um… Do we maybe have the stuff for chicken provincial? I’ve kinda been craving it the last few days, but I don’t know how to make it myself…” 

 

Levi smiled as he got up to follow his brat, ruffling his hair as he walked past. “I always keep those ingredients in the kitchen. You start decorating, I’ll start dinner. How’s that sound?” 

 

“Perfect.” Eren grinned, eyes sparkling as he leaned down and kissed Levi before heading off to the couch where they had dropped all the decorations. An hour or so later, Levi was plating the food and Eren was hanging up the last decoration. Apparently, it was programmable, and you could record whatever you wanted the thing to say when it was triggered. Eren was ecstatic when he discovered this. Pulling out his phone and looking up some song called  _ Spooky, Scary, Skeletons, _ he promptly recorded it onto the small memory device. Once it was hung on the door, he waved his hand in front of the sensor, setting off the song and making the skeleton start bouncing in some sort of weird dance. 

 

Levi felt his heart skip at the brilliant smile his brat gave him when the skeleton started singing and dancing. “Well, that's certainly going to scare the neighbors.”  

 

Before they knew it, Halloween was upon them. They had spent the majority of the evening at a small party Armin and Erwin had thrown. Eren was already drunk by the time they walked out the door around 9. Levi helped Eren into their apartment, not entirely sober himself. “Come on, you little shit… You really can’t hold your liquor, can you?” 

 

Eren hung from Levi’s neck as he stumbled through their apartment door. “You know you love me though. I’m your little shit.” He slurred as he tried to stand on his own, releasing the hold he had on the older man and grabbing his hand. “C’mon, Lebi… Let’s go have a little fuuuunnn…”

 

Levi rolled his eyes, allowing himself to be pulled along by the staggering brunette. “Right, because you’re absolutely able to keep up with me right now.” 

 

“I don’t have to, silly. You be in charge tonight. You know I like it when you command me around in bed…” Eren hid his face, voice falling from embarrassment at his own words. No sooner had he made it to the bed than Levi pushed him down on his back, a shiver of anticipation running through him. They had dabbled with rougher sex since their trip to Maman and Papa’s. It always made Eren nervous to begin with, but in the end, he had loved everything Levi had tried.  Levi pulled Eren’s shirt over his head, carefully tying the boy’s wrists with it, making sure to keep it loose around his still healing wrist and showing Eren exactly how to escape the bonds should he feel the need. Digging around in their nightstand, he pulled out a satin blindfold, putting it in place. Kissing the brunette softly, he dragged his nails down Eren’s sides, raising goosebumps on his tanned skin. 

 

“Hmm…. Very well then.” Levi reached a hand up, holding the boy’s arms in place as he ran his other hand the rest of the way down to rub Eren’s erection through his too tight pants. “Now, don’t move, understand?” Eren nodded, going still for a moment. Levi moved to unbutton the brunette’s jeans, Eren’s hips bucking as they sought relief for his aching member. Levi’s hands were soon on the boy’s hips, pressing him down into the bed, his tone taking on a new level of command. “I thought I told you not to move. I don’t want you to move a single muscle.” 

 

Eren’s blood ran cold. He was no longer with Levi, memories flashing back in vivid color. He was back in that cold bedroom, in that hell of an apartment. Grisha was on top of him, stale alcohol on his breath, the detached command rolling from his lips.  _ “Shut the fuck up and hold still. Don’t move, Eren. If you move, I’m going to kill you. I don’t want you to move a single muscle.” _ Eren’s body froze long enough for him to register that Grisha was dead, and he was with Levi, but he couldn’t stave off the panic. “Get off. Get off now. I can’t. This isn’t… I’m not okay with this.” 

 

Levi moved faster than he could ever remember moving. He was off of Eren in a second, terrified that he had hurt his beloved boy. Levi tried to help him out of the restraints he was now frantically struggling against only to be told not to touch him. The man stood back, hands pressed over his mouth, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. He could do nothing but watch Eren struggle, tears streaming from beneath the blindfold he wouldn’t let him remove. Eren had never so directly told him to stop. He had gotten slightly panicky before, but it always went away. He would always calm down once Levi had explained things to him, taken his time. But now, Eren was gasping for breath, body shaking from fear as he struggled fruitlessly to free himself. 

 

Levi took a step forward, voice breaking as he tried to speak. “Eren? Please… let me help you..” He stopped when Eren shook his head, tears still falling as he told Levi again not to touch him.  “Eren, please… I’m just going to take the blindfold off and free your hands… that’s all… I won’t touch anything else… Please..” Eren stopped struggling, body still shaking as he tried to hold still. Levi carefully removed the blindfold and untied his wrists, talking him through every second of it in the calmest voice he could manage. The second he was free, Eren sprang from the bed, quickly moving away from Levi and locking himself in the bathroom. 

 

Eren sunk to the floor, back against the door as he sobbed, gasping for air, panic attack in full swing.  _ I’m so sorry, Levi…. It’s not your fault.  _ Eren rocked, holding his knees to his chest. He apologized to Levi over and over again in his head, trying to force himself to calm, trying to convince himself that everything was okay - that Grisha was gone, and Levi would never ever in a million years hurt him. 

 

Levi sat with his back to the other side of the door, head leaned back against the hollow wood as he listened to every struggling breath his lover took through the sobs that wracked his body. His heart was shattering as he walked back through what he did, trying to figure out what had happened.  _ What did I do? He was fine, and then I told him not to move… Why would that do this? Fuck. What have I done? I need to calm him down. I need to make sure he can breathe. I need to find out why this happened so I can make sure it never happens again.  _ He dropped his head forward, face in his hands, and waited. After what felt like an eternity, he finally heard movement from the other side of the door. 

 

Eren spotted one of Levi’s oversized hoodies across the bathroom on a hook. Standing on trembling knees, he crossed the cold tile to retrieve it, sliding the soft fabric over his head and pulling the hood up. Holding it to his face, he inhaled as deeply as his lungs would allow, letting Levi’s scent wash over him. Slowly he made his way back to the door, trembling from the exertion of his attack and the onslaught of memories. As the door swung open, he saw Levi standing just outside, looking more defeated than he had ever seen him. Levi lifted his gaze as the light hit him, stepping back just in case. He met Eren’s unfocused eyes, holding a tentative hand out to him. The brunette took a step forward, fresh tears spilling from his already swollen eyes as he collapsed into the man’s waiting arms. 

 

Levi supported Eren as he fell, carefully letting them sink to the floor. He cradled him against his chest as he ran his fingers through the soft brown hair, trying desperately to make up for not being able to comfort him during his attack. Eren laid limply in his arms for several minutes before being picked up and carried to the bed, Levi laying him down and curling up beside him. He tried to steady his own trembling fingers as he brushed away the tears that had yet to stop falling from the boy’s eyes. “Eren, please, what happened? I need to know… I need to know so that this never happens again. I’m so sorry, Eren… Please..” Levi’s voice broke on the last word, and he closed his eyes to hold back his own tears. 

 

Eren was too tired after what had happened. His wrist was throbbing, and his chest felt empty. But he knew he needed to tell Levi so it wouldn’t happen again. He owed it to him. They had agreed. No more secrets. Very quietly, he began to speak. “I-I have to be able to move. I can’t handle that. Please… please don’t ever tell me not to move. If I can’t move, it’s like you’re just doing whatever you want with me, and I have no say. I know you’re not him, but it feels the same. I’m sorry. I know you wanted to, but I can’t this time. Not with this. I… I’ve never had flashbacks that vivid…” Curling into a ball, he buried his face in Levi’s chest, holding his braced wrist between them to keep it still. 

 

Levi felt like he’d just been slapped in the face. He’d figured it had been something like that, but it was still so hard hearing it. “I swear, never again. You have just as much say as I do, if not more.” Levi shifted away, kissing the boy’s forehead. “I love you so much. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” Eren let his tears fall, pressing his face back against Levi’s chest. With his energy gone, he quickly fell asleep in Levi’s arms. No matter how close he was though, Levi couldn’t protect Eren from tonight’s nightmares. They came anyway.

 

The next day, Eren was cautious around Levi, still exhausted from his relentless nightmares, trying to keep Grisha out of his head. Levi hadn’t slept either. He’d spent the majority of his night stressing as he listened to Eren struggle through nightmare after nightmare. Guilt weighed heavily on him, knowing he had caused this. He glanced over to where Eren was lounging in the living room. “Are you hungry? I could make breakfast…?” Levi asked quietly from the kitchen as Eren flipped through TV channels. 

 

“Not really… if I’m honest... I’ll eat if you really want me to, but I don’t really feel like it…” He felt bad as Levi sighed, coming back to the living room and sitting in the middle of the couch. He was close enough that Eren could reach him but wasn’t touching him. Levi left his hand sitting on the couch between them. Slowly, Eren slipped his hand over Levi’s, brushing his thumb along the back of it.  _ I’m sorry babe… Really I am… I’m trying… _

 

After a few hours of mindless television, Levi retreated back to the kitchen for a sandwich, once again offering Eren food. “How about some pretzels? That’s not too heavy… You should really eat something…” Eren finally agreed, nibbling on the pretzel sticks while he continued to zone out to the tv. 

 

Before the show was even over, he was struggling to keep his eyes open. He leaned forward, setting the bag on the coffee table before curling up on Levi’s lap.  _ I can’t do this anymore. I need him, and I need more sleep. I can’t do that without him anyway.  _ The older man froze, then began running his fingers through the boy’s hair. Eren sighed, Levi’s fingers through his hair draining all of his tension away as he finally allowed himself to drift off to sleep. 


	34. Close Minded Campus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let us know what you think of the new chapter!
> 
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It had been a week since Halloween, things slowly turning to Thanksgiving as Christmas songs and decorations started to take over. As Eren listened to his professor drone on, all he could think about was his stomach. It was his last class before lunch, and he had a small, black-haired god and a club sandwich waiting for him.  _ Two more minutes…  _ The clock seemed to mock him, the second hand moving excruciatingly slowly from one number to the next.  _ One minute. Come on, prof, just wrap up and let us go. Food. Levi. Merh.  _ After his time had officially run out and the students were shifting in their seats, the professor took the hint, and Eren shot up from his desk. He wove expertly through the students evacuating their seats and headed for the door, nearly making it before he registered a low, harsh voice behind him.

 

“Eren Jaeger, right? You’re that cocksucking midget’s sorry excuse for a boyfriend?” 

 

Eren froze.  _ What the actual fuck? Who the fuck is this guy?  _ The brunette turned, giving a sidelong glance to the owner of the voice. The young man met his gaze for a moment before Eren turned away, trying to ignore the sound of footsteps trailing behind him.  _ It’s a small hallway. He probably just has to go the same way I do. Ignore him. Be the bigger person.  _

 

“Maybe next time I see your fag-ass boyfriend, I’ll have to teach him just how disgusting he is again. I wonder if he’ll still fuck your ass after I beat the shit out of him. The fucking midget didn’t seem to get the point last time.”

 

Eren felt tingles go down his spine and a shiver of anger run through him. _He’s the bastard that tripped Levi. He’s the reason Levi fell down the stairs..._ _Don’t do it, Jaeger. You haven’t in a long time. Keep it up. Levi wouldn’t like it very much. You don’t want to disappoint him. He’s waiting for you. Just ignore this fucker and walk away._ The boy realized his tactic had failed when he rounded a corner and heard the voice again, louder in his ear.

 

“Maybe he’ll be too scared to touch you after I’m done with him. Perhaps he needs more than a trip down the stairs this time.”

 

Without turning, the brunette stopped and tensed. He turned his head slightly in the man’s general direction, anger rolling off him in waves. Eren’s words were seeped in malice as he spit them out. “Perhaps you need to back the fuck off before I make you.”  _ Yeah. Okay. Too late now.  _ Without waiting for a response, he whipped around, slinging his bag away from him before swinging his fist hard at the offending character’s face. He noted a look of surprise before his attention was drawn away by the sharp pain in his hand.  _ Forgot about that part. Oh well. _ He reared back and managed to get a couple more good hits in before his target ducked the fist coming at him. In that moment, Eren noted with dismay that the mystery shit-talker was a good deal larger than he was. Initially, surprise had been on his side, but as the other man got his footing, the brunette realized that that was no longer good enough.

 

Eren was slammed hard into the floor by strong arms before he had a chance to put up a decent defense. The other was clearly enjoying his turn as he landed punch after punch to the boy’s face before switching to his stomach. 

 

_ God… I forgot how much this hurts. Stomach is the worst. Face I can deal with… if I can just…  _ Eren attempted to shift underneath the oppressive weight, but was met with a hard blow to his side. He gasped and coughed roughly.  _ Fucking shit! Ow! What the hell did I ever do to you besides date Levi?!  _ His energy was dwindling, but so was his attacker’s, and when Eren tried to shift again, he was successful. Curling up slightly, he kneed the man hard in the crotch and scrambled to get out from under him. Moving as quickly as he could, he stood as straight as possible before grabbing the sputtering man and slamming him into the wall with as much force as he could muster.  _ If he could have stayed away from my fucking stomach, it would have made this a lot easier…  _ Eren reared back for another hit just as a familiar undercut emerged from the crowd. 

 

Levi entered the building, following the hallways to Eren’s classroom so he could pick the boy up for lunch. It was sandwich day, one of his favorites. Eren’s eating was never much of an issue anymore, but especially not on sandwich days. As he neared the correct hallway, he heard a commotion over the general noisy din of the building.  _ What the…  _ his question was answered when he rounded the corner and saw a small crowd gathered around what sounded like a fistfight. The muffled grunts and exclamations of pain grew louder as he began sifting through the crowd, looking for one particular student.  _ Where  _ is  _ he? I don’t want him getting mixed up in this by being too close…  _ As he reached the center of the throng of people, he realized that there was no chance of that happening. Levi watched as a familiar shirt lurched toward another, also familiar, figure and swung an already bloody fist at it. He saw the easily distinguishable mop of brown hair, mussed and disheveled, and instantly stepped forward to wrap his arms around the waist that it belonged to. “Eren! What the hell?!” Levi began to drag the struggling boy away as quickly as he could in the tightly packed corridor. 

 

As soon as the arms were around him, Eren began to panic. It was only when he whipped his head around to see who had grabbed him that the panic dissolved into exasperation. “Levi?!” He sputtered.  _ No, no, no, no, no, Levi, no, what are you doing?! I was winning!  _ Eren tried to elbow the man off, but to no avail. He then tried to relay another verbal message to Levi, but found he could only cough at that particular moment. Levi’s arms around his waist were squeezing his injured abdomen a bit too tightly for his liking. Grabbing at the arms, Eren desperately tried to escape, but the man had a vice-like grip on him. 

 

When Levi had his brat safely in the next hallway and away from the the crowd, he released his hold on his waist and turned the boy to face him, holding his hands out as if to stop Eren from running back to the fight. Instead, he found him leaning against the wall, breathing hard, trying to keep from coughing with every breath he took. Levi took that moment to give the boy a once over, instantly alarmed at the extent of the damage. “What the fuck, Eren? Why were you fighting? Are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine, but that fucker needs to fucking die! It’s the asshole that dropped you down the stairs, and he had the fucking balls to say he was going to touch you again!” Eren yelled back, seething. “How dare he fucking threaten you! I’m gonna kill him!” Levi grabbed his shoulders, trying to get him to focus. 

 

“Eren, it’s fine. I don’t care what he said. There’s no reason for you to get in a fight over me. Just calm down. Where are you hurt?” He tilted Eren’s chin down to examine his bruising features, his eyes widening as he took in the brunette’s injuries. He ran his hands over him, trying to find anywhere that elicited a reaction. The boy gasped and winced, curling in on himself and bracing against the wall when Levi ran his hands over his stomach. “We need to go get you checked out. What if there’s internal damage? You could bleed out, and you’d never know. Come on, we’re going to see shitty glasses.” Eren immediately paled, starting to argue, but Levi interrupted. “I don’t care. It’s just Hanji, you’ll be okay. You know they won't hurt you.”

 

“But Levi, he was going to beat you up… I can’t just leave him…”

 

“Eren,” the man sternly interrupted, “I can handle myself. Remember what I did in my teenage years. I can stand my ground, but I’m also very good at staying out of a fight altogether. My priority now is making sure that you’re okay. Now, just come with me, and let’s go.” 

 

Eren reluctantly followed, holding his stomach protectively. Levi kept a hand on his back, not wanting to hurt him by supporting his waist. “Levi, wait, my bag,” Eren turned to go back, but Levi stopped him gently.

 

“I’ll go. You stand still and don’t fight anyone until I get back.” Levi strode over to the boy’s abandoned bag and retrieved it, returning to Eren’s side. He eyed Eren’s hand across his injured abdomen. “Are you okay to walk to the car?” Levi’s voice was laced with concern. 

 

Eren’s middle was becoming increasingly uncomfortable as the bruising worsened. He hunched over a bit more as he nodded in answer to Levi’s question, but the man didn’t miss the change in posture. 

 

“You don’t have to do that; be honest. You’re obviously in pain. If you’re not okay, please tell me.” Levi’s voice was pleading, worried about him. 

 

Eren leaned against the wall, hunching over even more. “I can walk back. It feels worse than it did earlier, but I can walk. Just… stay close.” Levi kissed Eren’s forehead as it was one of the only places on his face that wasn’t bruised or cut. He nodded, trying to help support the boy by looping an arm across his upper back and under his arm. Eren appreciated the help. The two began to move slowly out of the building and across campus. 

 

At the edge of the parking lot, Eren gripped at Levi’s shirt, asking him to stop for a moment.  _ Christ, my stomach fucking hurts now… _ He knew he had taken at least three good punches there, and actually  _ using _ those muscles was a very unwelcome task at the moment. Levi stopped, quickly reading the pained expression. 

 

_ Fuck this, I need to get him to Hanji now. He’s too hurt to walk on his own. _ Levi lifted Eren from the sidewalk, cradling him securely in his arms and quickly crossed the lot to the car. Eren didn’t even bother arguing. He simply curled up as small as he could to give his abdominal muscles any kind of relief. 

 

“Thank you, Levi” he whispered, closing his eyes as he focused on not moving. Levi kissed his head as they approached the Q7. The fact that Eren hadn’t bothered complaining about being carried alarmed him. His brat never took the easy path. After gingerly placing Eren in the passenger seat, he ran around to the other side of the car. 

 

When they arrived at the clinic, he turned to Eren, holding his hand and meeting worried eyes. “I promise, you will be okay. Just like last time, I won’t leave your side. But we need to get you checked out. It worries me that you’re in so much pain.” Eren nodded, still anxious even though he had already met Hanji once and they were extremely nice. He couldn’t help how his breathing grew shallow as he looked at the door. “Eren,” Levi tried to get his attention, the brunette turning his gaze back to Levi, trying to breathe normally. “I’ve got you. Trust me, please. You’ll be okay. Just breathe, babe.” 

 

Once the boy calmed down again, Levi got out and came around to help him out of the car. “Levi…” Eren winced at the stiffness in his throbbing muscles, curling in on himself and backing against the car, bracing himself with one hand against it. Levi immediately stepped forward, holding him up like he had on campus. Before he could actually lift him, however, Eren spoke up. “No, I’m going to walk. It’s okay. It’s only like… twenty feet. Just help me again.” Levi nodded, supporting Eren as he made his way into the clinic.

 

Once inside, Levi sat Eren down in a chair and went up to the counter. A small brunette sat at the desk reviewing charts as she ate potato chips. Levi cringed at the greasy finger prints she left on each chart. He coughed causing the girl to look up. “I have someone for Dr. Zoe to see. Can we get him checked in please? Or at least tell Hanji that Levi is here?” 

 

Seated across the room, Eren held his middle, feeling his face grow hot as his injuries started to swell. Levi returned with some paperwork to fill out, Eren quickly leaning his head on the man’s shoulder. “Do you think they would give me an ice pack? My face is killing me…” Levi turned, wrapping an arm around the boy’s shoulders as he leaned against him. 

 

“I know, kid. As soon as they bring us back, I’ll get you one...” Glancing down at Eren’s right hand, he added, “...actually, I’ll get you two.”  It was only a few minutes before Eren’s name was called by potato chip girl. Levi helped him stand slowly and walk to the doorway. The brunette had led them down the hallway and into a different exam room than they were in last time. Eren’s eyes flitted around the room, taking in his surroundings. Even though he knew Hanji was safe, he couldn’t help the panic starting to rise, breathing growing shallow again. Levi noticed, leaning over and whispering in his ear, “It’s okay, Eren. Nothing will happen here. You’re safe. I’ve got you.” Eren nodded, still guarded. 

 

“Okay, so I’m Sasha, I’m Dr. Zoe’s nurse slash receptionist. I’m just going to take your vitals then Dr. Zoe will be in to see you.” As she checked Eren, Levi rubbed his back to keep him calm. Once she finished, she thanked them and let them know that Hanji would be in shortly. Levi asked for a couple of ice packs in the meantime. He immediately applied one to Eren’s injured hand and held the other to his bruised face as they waited.

 

“Oh buttercup! When I said I hoped to see you soon this wasn’t what I meant!” Hanji gave Eren a sad smile, once again not touching him at first to give him a chance to adjust. Eren took a shaky breath, giving Hanji a tiny smile in return. 

 

“Sorry about that Hanji, I guess I just missed you or something.” They laughed far louder than necessary at that, causing Levi to roll his eyes and clear his throat, bringing the attention to himself.

 

“Look, shitty glasses, just make sure he’s okay, got it? I’m worried there might be some internal bleeding. His stomach is giving him hell.” Hanji nodded, expression returning to their professional seriousness. 

 

“Well, can I have a look-see then, Eren? We’ll need to take your shirt off probably… Can I do that or would you rather Levi did it?” Eren shook his head, looking to Levi. “Got it, jelly bean. Levi, be a dear and undress your boyfriend for me.” They grinned, waggling their brows at the dark haired man as he rolled his eyes again. Eren stiffened as Levi carefully removed his bloody shirt. The man’s eyes widened at the dark bruising quickly becoming apparent across his lover’s stomach. Masking his expression before Eren could see it, he instead focused on the boy’s face to make sure he wasn’t hurting him. With the shirt gone, Hanji had Eren lay down and carefully began pressing on his abdomen. 

 

Eren gripped Levi’s arm tightly, closing his eyes and waiting for them to stop, wincing with every move they made. Levi ran his fingers through Eren’s hair, kissing his forehead as he comforted him through the whole thing. “Well, I don’t feel anything out of the ordinary. You are, however, going to be extremely sore for the next few days, cupcake. Just rest up and keep some ice on it all, and you’ll be okay. I wouldn’t move around too much while you’re healing. It will make it take longer.” Before they let him go, Hanji made a quick assessment of all of the cuts and scrapes on his face and hands, making sure none of them needed any additional medical attention. “You will need all those bandaged. I can do that here, or Levi can do that at home. Up to you, Reese’s cup.” Levi stepped in before Eren had a chance to speak, letting them know that he would take care of all that at home. He helped the boy back into his shirt and got him to the car after paying. Eren curled up again in the seat, keeping the ice packs pressed to his skin. 

 

Once home, Levi wasted no time carrying Eren inside and up to the apartment. After laying him on the couch, he gathered more ice packs from the freezer. Once the boy was appropriately chilled, Levi retrieved the first aid kit from the bathroom. Sitting next to his brat, he started to clean his face and hand. Eren let him, trying not to move. He was even sorer than before, and he curled  in on himself as soon as Levi was done, shivering from the ice packs. Levi kissed his now bandaged face before leaving again to find the electric blanket, laying it over Eren and tucking it around him. After turning it on, he sat at Eren’s head, laying it in his lap, rubbing his arms and combing his fingers through the dark brown hair. Eren dozed in and out of sleep, always waking up when he moved wrong, stomach throbbing and face tight. After a while he gave up on sleep, focusing on Levi’s touch instead of his various injuries. 

 

“So, care to tell me why you were fighting in the middle of a hallway on campus?” Eren tensed. He didn’t want to tell him, knowing Levi would be mad. 

 

“The asshole that tripped you… He’s in my class and was waiting for me outside. I tried to ignore him because I knew you wouldn’t want me to fight, but he just wouldn’t stop. Before I knew it, I was on him… I would have been fine if he hadn’t gotten in a few good gut punches. I had him, really.” 

 

Levi was mad, but not for the same reason Eren was. He was livid that the douche had had the nerve to rile Eren up like that to the point of a fist fight. “Why fight though? You never fight. I told you I’d be fine.” 

 

“W-Well… about that…”   
  
“What is it, Eren?” Levi raised a brow, curious as to what other surprises the green eyed boy could spring on him. 

 

“I actually used to fight a lot in elementary and middle school… I tend to be an angry person as it is, and I needed an outlet. By the time I got to high school.. well… that got beaten out of me pretty quickly.” Levi’s finger stilled, slightly shocked by the confession, but also glad. The fact that Eren had gotten into a fight after so long meant that he was done retreating, even if only a bit. 

 

“Well… No more fighting, okay? Promise me. It’s not worth it.” 

 

Eren hummed his agreement.  _ I know that logically, he’s right, but that really did feel good after so long. I missed it. _ “I’ll do my best, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy that… it’s been a long time. I will try though. For you.” 

 

As darkness fell, Levi made soup for dinner, bringing a small mug over to the couch for Eren and a bowl for himself. “Come on, babe. You need to eat something.” 

 

Eren cringed.  _ I really don’t feel like eating. I doubt I could keep it down right now anyway…  _ He took a few sips of the light broth before handing the mug back to Levi. “I’m sorry… I can’t do more than that. My stomach hurts too much.” Levi sighed, taking the cup and putting it in the kitchen, putting away the leftovers before returning to the couch. He opted to read a book as Eren laid in his lap, neither moving for hours until Eren had to use the bathroom. After helping him there, Levi immediately put him to bed, switching out the used ice packs for fresh ones.

 

The next morning, Eren was stiff and sore everywhere. He groaned as he tried to sit up.  _ I feel like someone ran me over with a garbage truck. _ “Levi…” He whined. Levi was awake instantly, looking over at Eren with concern. “I can’t move. Help..I need to pee, and I need a shower…” Levi got up, Eren holding out his hands for help. The older man bypassed his hands and gently scooped him up and carried him to the bathroom. He left for a moment to give the boy some privacy and to gather clean clothes for after his bath. When he returned, Eren was leaning against the counter. He helped him from the counter to the floor by the tub, starting the water. 

 

_ Yeah, there’s no way he’s standing long enough to shower right now. I remember what getting punched that much in the stomach does the next day.  _ Levi carefully undressed him and lifted him from the floor into the now steaming water. Eren helped as much as he could but was quickly reprimanded. “Stop that, I’ve got you. Just sit still and try not to make yourself feel worse. Your muscles are going to be shit for a while.” 

 

Eren sighed, relaxing in the water, grateful for the help and Levi’s apparent prior experience.  _ I guess that was a gang thing? _ “Thanks for all this, Levi..” He tried to help as much as he could as Levi washed him, then helped him get dressed. After a bit, he was being carried back into the living room and placed gingerly on the couch. Levi got the second set of ice packs and got him situated.  _ Where does he get all these ice packs? Like seriously, no normal person needs this many.  _ Eren sighed in relief when the cool packs hit his still throbbing skin. The warm bath had made all the blood start flowing a bit too much.

 

Levi brought the boy another mug of soup, handing it to him as he brushed his damp hair out of his face. “You have to eat this. It’s not optional. I promise this won’t make you sick. It’s going to be uncomfortable, but you’ll be able to keep it down. It’s been almost a day since you’ve had a real meal.” Eren took small sips, pausing a few times when his stomach tightened. “It’s okay, Eren. Just breathe and relax, it’ll be okay.” It took a while, but the boy finally finished off the warm liquid. They skipped classes, Levi making sure that Eren stayed put and waiting on him hand and foot. By the end of the day, Eren was finally able to move around a bit more, much to his relief. 

 

Friday morning, Levi watched the boy as he got ready cautiously, making sure not to move too fast. “Eren, are you sure you want to go to class?” 

 

“Of course I’m sure. I can at least move around now. I’ll only be sitting anyway. Besides, it’s Friday! Easy day, plus then we have two days off.” Eren carefully placed his bag over his shoulder and waited by the door with a Pop-Tart in hand. Levi sighed and grabbed his own bag and keys, locking the door behind them. 

 

Levi walked him to the class where the fight had taken place, then made himself comfortable outside the room for the duration.. He watched through the window as their abuser participated in class, eyeing Eren from time to time. He met Levi’s fierce gaze through the door several times after spotting the older man, each time Levi sending the same message with his expression.  _ That's right, you motherfucker. I'm here, and I’m going to be here until you get it through your head that Eren is off limits. How dare you use me to provoke him like that, let alone lay a hand on him. I'm used to homophobes and all your shit talk, but he's not. Leave him the fuck alone.  _

 

Levi didn’t leave Eren’s side unless absolutely necessary for the next week. He always made sure to have some point of contact with his brat,  bumping shoulders, holding hands, a kiss on the lips. Eren was his, and no one would touch him again. Eren was still furious but didn’t mind how possessive Levi was being as the feeling was reciprocated. 

 

By Sunday night, however, Eren was tired of being babied when they were at home. “Levi, really I’m fine. Let me help clean up or something.” Levi’s brow wrinkled in concern as he thought it over. 

 

“Fine. You can put away the dishes. That’s easy enough.” He huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. He couldn’t help but let a small smile cross his lips at how Eren lit up, bouncing into the kitchen and immediately going for the dishwasher. He made quick work of it, stretching up to one of the upper cabinets to put away the plates when Levi heard a loud crash. He raced back to the kitchen, finding Eren bent over with his head on the counter, hand gripped over his stomach. The stack of plates now spread across the back of the marble.  “Eren! What happened, what hurts?” Levi was at his side in an instant, fingers searching for the still healing injuries, checking every one. 

 

“I-It’s okay, babe. I just stretched too far, that’s all. I’m okay, don’t look so scared.” Eren chuckled, wincing at the action. 

 

“Do you need the ice? Go sit on the couch, I’ll get these. I told you not to push yourself. And I’m not scared! Just… concerned.” Levi’s voice was tense, trying to not let the fear he had indeed felt when he heard the crash come through. 

 

“Levi, it’s okay. I’ve got this. I don’t need ice. Let me just finish this and I’ll sit down then, or go take a hot bath, or whatever you want me to do. Just let me do this one thing. I want to help you again…” The older man pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. 

 

“Please… Just be careful. As soon as those are in the cabinet, go relax.” Eren moved slower this time as he put away the plates and turned back to the watchful Levi. 

 

“See, it’s all okay.” He said as he kissed him softly on the lips, brushing the raven hair away from his face. “I love you. Thanks for looking out for me. I think I’m going to go take a bath…  I’ll be back in a bit.” With another kiss, Eren retreated to the bathroom for a much needed hot epsom salt bath.  _ That will help the sore muscles that I brilliantly just pulled again. _ After his bath, he felt a million times better, his muscles once again loose from the hot water. He entered the living room to find Levi at the table sitting next to his favorite meal. “Oh my god, you didn’t really make chicken provincial, did you?” 

 

“I thought you’d appreciate it. And it’s also kind of an apology for acting like you can’t do anything while you’re healing. I know you’re not helpless, and I’m sorry.” Levi poked at the food on his plate, only looking up once Eren was seated. His gaze met soft green orbs and a playful smirk. 

 

“I like you babying me sometimes. But apology accepted. Now let’s eat; there’s a movie on tv tonight I wanna watch with you before bed.” Levi smiled, nodding as they both finished their food quickly. Levi then took care of the dishes and leftovers while Eren set up for the movie. 

 

Levi curled up against Eren as the movie started. “Nightmare before Christmas, huh?” 

 

Eren chuckled, looking down at the man by his side. “It’s the great holiday debate! Is it a Halloween themed Christmas movie or a Christmas themed Halloween movie? The world may never know.” He shrugged. “But either way, it's a good movie, and I can watch it as much as I want between October and Christmas.” Levi rolled his eyes but settled in to enjoy their time together. He smiled as Eren sang along softly to all the songs, paying more attention to his beautiful boy than to the movie itself. 

 

Wednesday found the boys sitting at the table working on homework after dinner. Since the day of his fight, Eren’s thoughts had centered around one particular subject, and they had begun getting the best of him. He let his mind wander as his gaze drifted from his laptop.  _ Everything that guy said… I know he was wrong, but… I’m not gay, am I? Levi is just Levi.  _ The boy looked over at the man across from him, watching as the black curtain of his hair fell into his icy eyes.  _ God, he’s beautiful.  _ Levi glanced up as Eren’s eyes shot back to his laptop, and the brunette quickly lost the adoring expression he had been wearing.  _ He’s amazing, he saved me, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He just happens to be male. Right?  _

 

Levi had seen the boy’s gaze shift when he had glanced up. He looked over, waiting for Eren to realize he was staring at him. “Eren?” The brunette didn’t respond. Levi moved seats, placing himself right beside the boy, and gently pulled his gaze to him. Just as the man’s mouth opened to speak, Eren had a question of his own.

 

“Are you gay?” 

 

Levi’s mouth hung open in slight shock for a moment before he swallowed and answered. “Well, yes… I’ve never been interested in girls.” He kept his eyes on his brat, knowing where this was heading.  _ He’s danced around this a few times now. Might as well just have this talk. _ He was about to speak when he was once again interrupted 

 

“Am I gay?” Eren looked at Levi, eyes full of uncertainty. He was self conscious about the whole topic, but he knew that he had to have the conversation. 

 

Levi’s brow furrowed, thinking of how best to approach the question.  _ Is he gay? Shit, how do I even answer that for him…  _ “You said you’ve had girlfriends… Are you asking this because you’re not sure if you like girls, or are you asking this because you do like girls, and you’re more confused about liking guys? Either way, it depends on how you felt about your girlfriends.”  _ Wow, Levi. Very clear. Concise. You should write LGBTQ+ literature for a living.  _

 

Eren looked at the table, not meeting the man’s eyes. His cheeks grew pink as he considered the question. “Yes, I liked my girlfriends… and… it was never….” He began picking at his sleeves. “I never had… trouble…”

 

“It was easy having sex with them.”  _ I’ve got you, babe. I’ll make this as easy as I can on you. I don’t want you being self conscious about this shit. Not when you don’t need to be.  _ “It’s okay, Eren. I knew you’d been with other people. And I knew they were women.” Levi lifted Eren’s chin so he was looking at his face. “But you also said that you were afraid of having sex with men. Is that the only reason you were never with a guy before me? Did you ever want to?”

 

“N-No… not really. I never noticed another guy like that until I met you. And even then, I didn’t think about you like that right away. It took weeks… I didn’t even register that I felt like that until you kissed me that first time…” Eren’s blush deepened. He shifted his gaze, trying to avoid Levi’s. 

 

“...You mean when you kissed me back that night.” He smiled as Eren again grew redder. “Eren, stop looking away. You don’t need to be self conscious about this. Honestly, it sounds like you’re bisexual… or demisexual...” He grabbed the boy’s chin again as Eren looked away, bringing it back toward him. “Which is fine.” 

 

Eren finally met Levi’s eyes. “Really? That’s really fine? You don’t care that I also like girls…?”

 

“Babe, I  wouldn’t care if you liked zebras. As long as you don’t let some girl into that heart of yours while it’s mine…” Levi stood, pulling Eren’s chair out a bit and straddling his lap. He leaned in, trailing his lips down Eren’s neck and biting gently when he reached the base. “..then I don’t care.” 

 

Eren’s breath picked up. Levi continued assaulting his senses, tugging his shirt off and feeling his way down his sides. “Yeah, no…” He squirmed as Levi began unbuttoning his pants. “You have absolutely nothing to worry about… ever….” 

 

Levi laughed huskily as he kissed the boy’s chest, standing and offering him a hand. “Shall we?” He was surprised when, instead of taking his hand, Eren bent over, lifting Levi and hauling him over his shoulder. “Oh my fucking god, brat!” He swatted Eren on the ass as he dangled there, the boy carrying him to the bedroom and flopping him gracelessly onto the bed. “You’re going to pay for that.”

 

“Looking forward to it.” Eren crawled on top of Levi, capturing his lips in a heated kiss. He pulled Levi’s shirt up and over his head, fingers trailing over the scar on his chest. It had become his habit, a reminder of how close he had come to losing the love of his life. It didn’t matter that they were both men. Levi was Levi, and Eren loved him more than life itself. He kissed and sucked down the man’s neck and chest as he slipped his pants and underwear off. Levi bit his lip, sucking in air as his hardened length bounced back against his stomach when Eren slipped his clothes off. 

 

Levi’s eyes assessed the bruises still fading across the boy’s abdomen. “Are you good to do this? Those bruises still look a bit sore.” Eren chuckled, pulling the remainder of his own clothing off and slipping back into bed beside Levi. He took the man’s length into his hand, stroking him slowly. 

 

“I’m good, Levi. Just let me make love to my boyfriend.” Eren lifted Levi’s hand to his lips, kissing his palm gently. Levi panted as Eren continued stroking his length, pulling the boy down to him and kissing him hungrily, fingers tangling in his shaggy brown hair.  Eren straddled the smaller man, pressing their hardened members together and stroking them both at once. He moaned softly into the kiss, loving the feeling of Levi’s cock against his own. “Fuck…” He whispered breathless against Levi’s swollen lips. “Let me fuck you… Let me love you…”

 

Levi bit his lip, pressing his head back into the bed, baring his neck as a shudder escaped him. Eren’s words and movements were more than enough to make his ass twitch in anticipation. He nodded slightly, nails now digging into Eren’s sides. He needed him inside; he needed Eren, and he needed him now. The brunette shifted, retrieving the bottle of lube from the nightstand and spreading some across his fingers before slipping one into Levi’s tight entrance. The older man mewled as Eren’s fingers rocked in and out of him, stretching his hole and rubbing him in all the right places. “A-Ah.. yes, Eren… Fuck…. I’m good… Give me your cock. Fuck me, Eren…”  

 

Eren couldn’t help but stare at the beautiful, panting man beneath him. It never ceased to amaze him just how beautiful Levi’s porcelain skin became when it was flushed and shining while they were making love. His eyes would grow dark and hooded, lips parted as he whined and moaned, panting at every touch Eren gave him. Every dip and curve of his perfect body, every scar from a life past, Eren loved. He loved every inch of him, and did his best to make sure that Levi knew how much he was loved every chance he found. Shifting, he placed himself at Levi’s entrance, placing the man’s legs over his shoulders as he pressed in, moaning at the tightness around him. He forced himself to keep his eyes open so he didn’t miss a single thing as he took in every breath, every trembling muscle, every movement as his love arched off the bed, rocking his hips to meet Eren’s thrusts. 

 

Eren dug his fingers into Levi’s thighs, holding him steady as he slipped in and out in a well practiced dance. Feeling himself coming close, he shifted so he would hit the other’s sweet spot, nearly coming undone as Levi cried out his name when he found it. The man’s sweet voice washed over him, and he felt it in all the right places. “Fuck, Levi… Come for me, babe. Let me hear your beautiful voice…” 

 

Levi gripped at the sheets above his head, almost embarrassed by the sounds Eren was able to pull from him. But it didn’t matter. He loved him, and if Eren wanted to hear him, then he was going to get what he wanted. His vision flashed to white as he came hard, nearly screaming Eren’s name as his hot, white, release spread across his chest. He shuddered, moaning through the aftershock and the sensation of Eren finding his own climax inside Levi. Pulling out, the boy fell to his side while they both worked to catch their breath. 

 

After a few minutes, Eren went to get a washcloth, cleaning them both before joining Levi on the bed again. The brunette laid across the man’s chest, his fingers trailing down his arm. “So…”

 

Levi glanced down. “Yeah?”

 

“I met this zebra the other day…” He managed not to smile as Levi’s chest shook with laughter. “And I don’t know, she seemed really-” 

 

He was cut off as Levi flipped them over, blocking all further speech with his lips on Eren’s. “Tell the bitch you’re taken.” He continued kissing his brat, moving away from his lips and instead focusing his efforts on Eren’s shoulder. 

 

Eren wrapped his arms around Levi, enjoying the onslaught. “Will do.”


	35. Ghost in the Machine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! We're so very close to the end of this fic and its really sad! But we have a sequel / multi chapter epilogue planned! So that's exciting!
> 
> I did want to take a moment to let everyone know that we have officially posted all the chapters that we have pre-written. Grace and I will be doing our very best to make sure that the last 5 chapters are written by the time they're due to post, but if not, please be patient with us, they will be up soon!!
> 
> Thank you all for taking this journey with us and we hope you enjoy the last 5 chapters of Until the End!

Eren heaved a sigh as he put his pencil down next to his test paper.  _ I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be taking this test or sitting in this classroom or thinking about anything. I want to be numb. I want…  _ He glanced up at the clock as he thought, making note of how much time he was wasting with his reverie.  _ I want to be drunk, to be honest. But Levi would never let me. And he would want to know why. And I don’t want to tell him because that would require thinking about it. About her.  _ He quickly shifted in his seat as he felt tears immediately blur his vision.  _ No. Not right now. Not today. Get through this test.  _ He was sure he was wrong on at least half of the questions, but he finished quickly and gathered his things. Stepping out of the room, he saw Levi waiting for him. 

 

“Hey, babe. How was the test? You finished kinda fast, actually…”  _ He doesn’t look that happy. If you finish that fast, you either know every answer, or you don’t know shit.  _ “Bad test?” The man eased up on the questions when Eren nodded and began walking down the hall toward the exit.  _ Okay… Not in a talking mood. Got it. He seemed okay this morning… Maybe it was really just a bad test…  _

 

With one more day until the start of Thanksgiving break, campus was quieter than usual. Half the students had left town early, and the other half was busy studying so they could leave as soon as possible. The chilly, grey Monday was drawing to a close, and it forced an eerie lull over the area.

 

As they neared the Q7, Levi came over to get Eren’s door for him, but the brunette hardly seemed to notice. He got in without a glance in the man’s direction. “Eren?” Levi waited until the boy seemed to register his name. “Everything okay? You seem… off.” Eren nodded and looked out his window, buckling his seatbelt as he continued to sit in silence.  _ Sure. Yeah. You’re great.  _ Levi began heading for home, thinking about his menu plan for Thanksgiving as he drove.  _ I’ll make a shopping list when we get home and ask him what stuff he wants for the meal. That should help his mood. If there’s one thing I can count on Eren liking these days, it’s food. The kid’s a bottomless pit…  _

 

As they entered the apartment, Eren dropped his bag on the floor by the door before walking over to the couch and placing himself across it.  _ Watch something. Watch anime. Read subtitles. Keep your head out of the dark. That will help… I hope… _ He quickly turned on a new anime from his queue and concentrated on the screen, tuning out his surroundings and his own brain. 

 

Levi watched from the kitchen where he had begun going through the fridge and cupboards, making a mental list of which basic ingredients they already had for the upcoming meal.  _ Definitely need pumpkin… and cranberries… stuffing stuff, sweet potatoes, regular potatoes, yeast…  _ He glanced at the contents of the freezer.  _ Oh. And maybe a fucking turkey.  _ “Anything special you want for Thanksgiving, Eren? I’m thinking all the basics to start… turkey, stuffing, potatoes, cranberry sauce, rolls, gravy, a couple of pies…” He tapered off to allow Eren a chance to cut in, but saw that the boy wasn’t paying any attention. Sauntering over to where his brat sat absorbed in anime, he sat next to him and looked into his face. “You in there today?” 

 

_ Levi. Levi’s talking. Don’t snap at him. He doesn’t know. You don’t want him to know. Be normal.  _ “Sorry, I was just really into this. I’ve never seen it…” Eren paused the screen and turned to face Levi. “What did you ask me?”

 

“I asked if you wanted anything specific for Thanksgiving besides the usual stuff… You sure you’re okay? You’ve been acting strangely since I picked you up.”

 

“Yeah, sorry. I hated that test. And I think I’m just in a mood today; really I’m fine. I’m good with whatever you usually make though. You’ll make it all taste amazing.” 

 

Levi gave a soft smile and leaned in to brush his lips against Eren’s before standing and continuing his task. “If you say so. Let me know if you need anything, okay?” He watched the boy nod.  _ I don’t believe you.  _ He continued watching Eren out of the corner of his eye as he searched the remainder of the kitchen and made his shopping list, pausing every once in a while when he noticed a shadow cross the boy’s features.  _ There’s something. I don’t know what, but something’s wrong. I know you too well now, kid. You can’t fool me that easily.  _

 

When dinner was ready, Eren joined Levi at the table, keeping his eyes downcast and only talking when he was asked something.  _ Be polite. Be normal. He’ll just think I had a bad day. Don’t give anything away. Let it pass, and then everything will be fine. He doesn’t need to know. If I tell him, I’ll think about it too much, and then I’ll panic, and then everything will go to shit. Just exist for the next day until this is over. Then it won’t hurt so much to breathe in and out. Then everything will be fine.  _ His internal monologue continued through the evening as he helped with dishes, finished his anime, and got ready for bed. 

 

_ You are the opposite of fine.  _ As the evening had passed, a sadly familiar twinge had begun to pain Levi’s chest, the old Eren Alert rusty from disuse. It grew stronger though, the man watching the brunette closely until his eyes shut and he slipped into unconsciousness.  _ I guess you’ll be okay until you wake up at least.  _ Levi curled protectively around his love, finally allowing himself to relax enough to sleep as well.

 

Eren opened his eyes and looked at the clock.  _ 9:30. I should get up. I have a test in a couple of hours… what on earth is that amazing smell?  _ He rose and walked out the bedroom door to investigate, expecting to find his tiny counterpart standing over the stove. Instead, he found a woman - a woman with soft brown hair and big green eyes that were eerily similar to his own. She looked up from her work when he entered the kitchen, smiling and beckoning him over to taste the food. Recognition flitted across his features.  _ Mom… you’re back… you came back for me.  _ As he ventured into the room, her smile grew, and Eren felt himself smile in return. She reached over when he was close enough and wrapped him up in a hug, comforting him with her warmth before pulling away and gazing at him with more love than one person should be able to show. “I love you, Mom.”

 

“Get back.” 

 

Eren’s brow furrowed as she stepped away. “What? No! I just got you back!”

 

She simply shook her head, stepping further away from him. Her bright smile was replaced with a somber expression as she reached below the counter and pulled out a gun before raising it to her head.

 

“Mom! No! Please, stay with me! Don’t--” 

 

The explosion of gunfire startled Eren awake. It was morning, and there was an impossible weight on his chest. Claws were digging deeply into his ribcage and pulling, pulling him down. As soon as he was aware of the feeling, tears pricked the corners of his eyes as he squeezed them shut tightly.  _ No… no, we’re not doing this. Calm down. Everything is fine. It was just a dream. It was just a dream.  _ He repeated the mantra in his head as he laid with his chest in shreds, praying that Levi wouldn’t notice anything amiss. Focusing on keeping still and keeping his breathing as even as he could, he slowly relaxed in the bed. After several minutes, he opened his eyes, the tears that were still gathered there spilling down his cheeks and making small spots on the pillow. He dared a glance at Levi.  _ Oh, thank god. He’s asleep. He would have definitely noticed something.  _ Slowly, the boy sat up and slid off the bed, quietly making his way into the bathroom to shower and calm down more. 

 

When the shower sputtered on, Levi cracked his eyes open, taking in the empty side of the bed.  _ He’s up awfully early for someone who doesn’t have to be awake for another hour.  _ Sitting up, he ran his hands through his disheveled undercut and rubbed his face to get rid of the sleep still weighing down his eyelids. As he pushed the covers back and went to swing his legs over the side of the bed, he noticed dark spots on Eren’s pillow.  _ Are those… he was crying? When? I didn’t hear him…  _ Levi shifted his gaze to the closed bathroom door.  _ He got in the shower to calm down.  _ Padding over to the bathroom door, he knocked lightly before trying the knob.  _ Locked. Okay.  _ “Everything okay in there, babe?” He heard a muffled reply, but there was no other sound over the cascading water. He tried again. “I’m going to make some breakfast. What do you want?” This time, he heard Eren’s voice over the water.

 

“I’m not really hungry. I’ll bring a Pop-Tart to my test, okay?”

 

“...if you’re sure…” When the boy confirmed, Levi gave up and headed to the kitchen to make something for himself.  _ Now I know something’s wrong. It’s not just a suspicion. Refusing food means something is seriously wrong in that head of his. That plus the crying...  _ Worry overtook the man’s thoughts as he cooked, feeling his Eren Alert rise steadily. 

 

Eventually, Eren emerged dressed, nearly ready for his test. He avoided the table and the extra food that Levi had cooked and returned to his spot on the couch, intent on distracting himself once again with anime until he had to leave. Levi joined him after he was ready himself, wrapping an arm around the boy’s shoulders and running his fingers down his arm. While Eren understood that Levi was just trying to be there and be close, he couldn’t handle the soft touches.  _ No emotions. No closeness. Not yet. I won’t be able to control myself like that. Not with feeling that…  _  “Um, I think I’m going to get my stuff. We should go soon anyway…” With that, he ducked out from under Levi’s fingers and quickly disappeared into the bedroom to get his shoes. 

 

Levi watched as Eren gathered his things and went to wait by the door while the older man did the same.  _ Just go with it. You can ask after his test.  _ “You ready?” The boy nodded and opened the door, stepping out into the hallway. It wasn’t until they were in the student parking lot and Eren was walking away that Levi remembered Eren’s promise.  _ Fucking brat. You forgot your Pop-Tart.  _

 

_ Thank god he didn’t remember the Pop-Tart. That wouldn’t have gone well today.  _ Eren stepped into the classroom for his test, shoving down every unsettling feeling that was rearing its ugly head.  _ Get through this test. You haven’t flipped out. You can’t. You know how to deal with this. You have for six years now. Man up, Jaeger.  _ The boy took his seat, facing the front of the room and trying to focus on the instructions the professor was giving for the exam. 

 

Levi spent a few minutes standing outside the classroom before the test began, then decided it was safe to head to the grad lounge and pull out his own books. After brewing a cup of the tea he kept stashed there, he settled in for a short thesis session, mind never wandering fully from the brunette a few halls over.  _ Let him focus. If he sees me just standing outside the door worrying about him, it’ll distract him. I’ll go back and check in a half hour or so.  _ As soon as he had settled in, his phone vibrated in his pocket. Worried it might be Eren, the man immediately pulled it out and glanced at the screen.  _ Maman…?  _ Levi answered the call, trying to sound light so he could keep her from talking all afternoon.

 

It didn’t work.

 

_ “Levi, why do you sound like that?” _

 

The man froze. “Like what?”

 

“ _ Like you’re trying to get rid of me.” _

 

Levi sighed before running his hand through his hair in exasperation. “I’m not trying to get rid of you, I’m just distracted.”

 

_ “...By your thesis.” _

 

“Yes.”

 

_ “...And by your adorable other half?” _

 

_ Shit. “ _ A little.”

 

_ “Is he okay? Did something happen?” _

 

“Honestly I have no idea. He’s been distant… and I think he was crying this morning. But he won’t talk to me. And I don’t want to push too hard.”  _ Why am I telling you this. _

 

_ “Pushing might be necessary, Levi. Especially if you think something is really wrong.” _

 

“Well even if I wanted to, I can’t yet. He’s taking a test right now.”

 

_ “You could send him a message so it’s the first thing he looks at when that test is over. Just let him know you’re there, and you can listen if he at any point wants to talk. See I’m not always pushy…”  _

 

Levi could hear the impish grin in his mother’s voice. “Yeah okay. That isn’t too pushy. Amazing for you.”

 

_ “Oh fuck that, Levi. Go wait for your boyfriend and let him know you care.”  _ Maman filled her voice with sugar.  _ “Please.” _

 

“Yes, ma’am.” Levi hung up before she could work on him further. Maman had a point.  _ But he just started his test. There’s no way he’s done yet. I’ll go back and check on him in a bit.  _ Levi flipped open his laptop to get a bit of work done before meeting Eren.  _ He’s not done. It’s fine. I’ll head over after I accomplish something here. _

 

All Eren could hear was the ticking of the clock. That and the scratching of pens and pencils in test booklets accompanied by the occasional cough or sniffle.  _ Why do people only seem to have cold-like symptoms when I’m taking a fucking test? Dammit… focus, Jaeger. You actually do know this material. Just answer the questions.  _ No matter how he tried to focus, the boy felt his tolerance level nearing its peak. Ten minutes later, he was practically shaking.  _ I need to finish this. No bailing. Get through this, you weak little shit. Just do this one thing without flipping out.  _ As he was finally nearing the end of his test, he felt his pocket vibrate.  _ Probably Levi. I’m sure I’m worrying him…  _ Finishing the last few questions, Eren stood and fished his phone out of his pocket before glancing at the screen. He stepped out of the classroom and froze when he read the name and the message flashing across it.  _ Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Keep it together. Do not fucking lose it, Jaeger.  _

 

**Maman: Hi, dear. I heard you’re having a bit of a rough day. I also heard you’re in the middle of a test. Don’t mind this. I just wanted to say that whatever is going on, it will work itself out. You will be just fine. Levi loves you, and Papa and I have grown to love you as well. You have family all around you if you need it. We all send our love ❤️ Feel free to call if you ever want to talk, and good luck on your test!**

 

Eren lowered his phone as he stumbled into the hall, eyes already glassy with unshed tears.  _ She was just being nice. Levi probably mentioned that I seemed off. It’s fine. Just… don’t lose it. She’s not… she’s….  _ A sob choked him as he took his next step. He quickly covered his mouth, praying that no one had heard him.  _ Not now, please not now.  _ Eren felt his chest clench and knew he wouldn’t be able to stave off what was coming next. He never could. Thanking every deity he could imagine that it was between classes on the last day before Thanksgiving break, he wove through the deserted halls until he found the closest men’s room and ducked inside. Chest heaving, he locked himself in a stall and slid down to the floor. There was no air in the room. He had a thousand pound weight on his chest tearing a hole in him, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Just wait, like he always did, every year on the anniversary of her death. His head would blare the gunshot and his chest would tighten and he would sit somewhere alone and wait. Wait for it to stop — wait for the pain to end. And every year it felt insurmountable. Every year it threatened to crush him; this year was no different. He panted as his breath came in shallow draws.  _ I don’t want to pass out here. I’m pretty sure this is the same shitty bathroom stall that Levi found me in all those months ago.  _ A thought interrupted his misery.  _ Then he would know where to look…  _ With shaking hands, Eren gave in and pulled his phone out again. Knowing he wouldn't be able to trust his voice, he opted to attempt a short text. After several shaky misspellings, he hit send, hating that he had to do it but knowing it would soon become necessary. His legs already felt like Jell-O. 

 

Levi had just reached Eren’s still occupied classroom when his phone buzzed. He stopped scanning the room to look at the text, instantly alarmed. 

 

**Eren: Same shittybbathroom as before. Cant breathr.**

 

_ Shit, what happened?  _ Levi took off down the hall, remembering exactly where his brat had fallen ill that second day of class. When he reached the door of the bathroom, he carefully pushed it open, not sure if Eren might be sitting on the other side. He soon discovered however that the boy was indeed in the exact same place as he had been before. He was sitting on the floor of the same stall that he had been in the day he had gotten so sick and had had to be brought home. Levi slowly approached the stall door, knocking lightly. “Eren?” 

 

The boy opened his eyes, which had been scrunched closed tightly with the effort of breathing. He reached up with a quivering hand and unlatched the lock, allowing Levi to swing the door open and slip inside. 

 

The man immediately knelt in front of him, brushing away the tears that were trickling down his cheeks. “Hey, babe. Good test?” Eren coughed out a laugh, then struggled to regain control of his breath. “Sorry, I didn’t think that through.” Levi sat on the floor across from Eren, barely fitting in the small space, and began coaching his breathing in the practiced tone he was so used to. He brushed the hair out of the boy’s face, meeting his bleary gaze. “You’re not quite panicking… Can you tell me what happened? Or do you want to go home and do that part later?”

 

Eren nodded when Levi mentioned the word “later” and began shifting to stand. Levi beat him to an upright position, squatting and wrapping an arm around the boy’s torso to help. The two slowly made their way out of the bathroom and out of the building, Eren on shaking legs the whole way. When they finally reached the car, he braced himself against it so Levi could get his keys. 

 

“You still look ready to keel over there, kid.” The man scanned his trembling charge, noting his downcast expression and the tears still rolling down his caramel cheeks. “Come on. Let’s get home, okay?” 

 

Eren nodded and allowed himself to be placed in the front seat, no longer trusting his body to stay upright on its own. The mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion weighing him down was too much. He leaned back against the headrest and focused on breathing in and out, grateful when Levi rested a hand on his own and gently began rubbing it.  _ I should have told him sooner. I should have told him yesterday… I can never get through this part very well. I don’t know what made me think this year would be any different.  _ The rubbing continued as Levi wrapped his hand completely around Eren’s.  _ The only reason I was ever mentally healthy at all was because of this man sitting here. I should have just told him. He always helps…  _ Eren opened his mouth and managed a small “thank you” before a fresh round of tears cut him off. The firm squeeze he felt on his hand let him know that Levi had heard and understood.

 

Arriving home, Levi kept an arm around Eren’s waist as they walked back to their apartment. The trembling had yet to subside, and he was taking zero chances. Once they were safely behind their apartment door, the man led his charge to the couch and gently sat him down. “Are you okay here, or would you rather head to bed?”  _ He looks exhausted… I wouldn’t be surprised if he just wants to sleep this off.  _

 

Eren quickly shook his head “N-No. Not to bed… Can we j-just…” A round of hiccupping cut him off, and he gave up.”  _ Bed equals sleep equals dreams. I don’t want to dream right now. I can’t handle another dream like that without having an attack… _

 

“That’s fine, Eren. Whatever you want to do.” Levi reached over and tugged the blanket off the back of the couch. He wrapped it around the pair of them before kicking off his shoes and enveloping the boy in his arms. He rubbed Eren’s arm and listened to him hiccup and sniffle, every once in a while leaning back to allow the boy room to wipe his eyes. After a time - Levi wasn’t sure how long - he placed a kiss on his love’s forehead and broke the tear-filled silence. “Can you tell me what happened?” Eren stiffened. “You don’t have to tell me everything if you don’t want to… but Eren… I can’t figure out what happened. You aren’t even panicking. You just seem…” He glanced at the boy’s melancholy expression. “Incredibly sad… And up until yesterday, you were doing okay. So I was hoping you might be willing to fill in the blanks for me.”

 

The silence hung between them for a while, Eren trying to collect himself enough to speak clearly. “I…” Another hiccup. “S-Six years ago, I…” More tears flooded his vision.  _ Shit, this is impossible. Plan B.  _ The boy moved the blanket suddenly, standing and retrieving his bag from where Levi had placed it inside the entryway. He returned to the couch with it, not meeting Levi’s questioning gaze as he sat back down. Pulling his phone out of the pocket where he’d stashed it, he opened his messages and began typing.

 

**Eren: Six years ago today, I came home to find my mom… she killed herself.**

 

The boy watched as Levi read over his shoulder, his face taking on a more somber expression. Eren continued.

 

**Eren: It gets bad every year. Yesterday, I tried to shut everything out, including you, but it didn’t help. I had a nightmare early this morning, and I tried to calm down, but it didn’t last. Then after my test, Maman texted me…**

 

Levi snapped his eyes up to Eren’s face. “Eren, I’m so sorry if she said something to make this worse-“

 

The boy shook his head and kept typing.

 

**Eren: No, no she was just being nice. It was just the fact that she texted at all and showed so much love that broke me. I’m sorry… For some reason, even six years later, I can’t deal very well with this…**

 

“Eren, stop. First of all, you’re dealing incredibly well, especially for you. I mean, I haven’t seen you panic or found you drunk yet.” This elicited a chuckle from the brunette. Another message flashed on the screen.

 

**Eren: I wanted to drink. And I almost panicked this morning.**

 

Levi’s hand returned to rubbing Eren’s arm. “I figured that out, actually… There were tear stains on your pillow… and you locked the bathroom door, which was weird. But hey-” He reached up and wiped the boy’s wet cheek. “It’s okay, kid. I know you needed to get through the morning.. And that test. Were you able to finish it?”

 

Eren put his phone down, his tears subsiding enough for him to speak clearly. “Yeah, thankfully. I knew a lot more on this one than the other one anyway. And I didn’t get that text until I was about to leave.”

 

“That’s good, then.” Levi let his hand travel from the boy’s arm around to his back, rubbing in slow circles absentmindedly as he watched Eren closely, trying to gauge his state of mind. When the viridian eyes filled once again with tears, the man spoke. “We can just sit here for a while if you want. Curl up under the blanket until you’re feeling better.” He received a small nod and went to work spreading the blanket over the two of them more evenly. 

 

Eren gave in to the warmth, leaning into Levi’s chest and letting the familiar scent wash over him.  _ God, he smells good. And he’s so warm… And I’m so done… I could just…  _ He slowly let his tired eyes drift closed, his breaths growing steady and deep. 

 

_ He’s out. I’m sure he needs the rest… Sounds like the past couple of days have been hell on him.  _ Levi placed a gentle kiss on the boy’s head.  _ Is life ever going to be simple for you? Are you ever going to be able to escape all this fucking darkness that tries to drag you down with it?  _ He leaned into Eren’s hair, breathing him in as he slept. “I love you so much, brat.” His whisper was barely audible over the sound of the boy’s lungs drawing air. “I’ll make your world as bright as you’ve made mine, even if it takes the rest of my life.” He closed his eyes as well, enjoying the feeling of his love in his arms. It wasn’t even five minutes before he too was lulled into sleep. 

 

Eren woke hours later surrounded by warmth with a pleasant weight around him.  _ I feel like I’ve been asleep for days… Although I wouldn’t mind staying like this for a while longer. Nothing hurts… My chest isn’t aching or heavy…  _ He slowly raised an eyelid, surprised at the tips of black hair tickling his face.  _ He fell asleep too…  _ Eren took the opportunity to examine the pale face next to his own. The strong jaw, the high cheekbones, the raven hair hanging over the relaxed eyelids. Levi’s breaths were slow and steady. The brunette took the time to drink in the sight of the sleeping man, jumping when he found a pair of steel eyes gazing back at him.

 

“Hi.” Levi’s voice was thick with sleep, his eyes not yet fully open.

 

A blush creeped across Eren’s cheeks. “Hey…” 

 

“You’re adorable when you blush.” Levi leaned over and kissed across the red spreading over Eren’s face. “How are you feeling? Did you sleep okay?”

 

The boy ducked his face into Levi’s chest. “Mhm. You?” 

 

“I think we both needed that nap. I slept better than I usually do.” He moved the blanket off of his legs and stretched, still holding Eren against him. Glancing at the clock on the DVR, he turned back to Eren. “It’s 4:00 already, and I’m kind of starving. If I make some food for both of us, do you think you could try to eat it?”

 

“Maybe some… I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to eat much though. I don’t really have an appetite…” The boy slid off of the couch and stood, allowing Levi to do the same. “I didn’t take a Pop-Tart with me this morning…”

 

“I know.” Levi met Eren’s surprised look. “I’m not oblivious, Eren. I just figured it wasn’t worth starting an argument. I knew you weren’t yourself this morning. Come on, let’s head into the kitchen, and I’ll make something simple. Sound good?” Eren nodded, and Levi led them both to the island and went to work pulling out ingredients. “Hmmm… I could do pancakes or waffles.”

 

“Too sweet.”

 

“Sandwiches?”

 

“I don’t think I can eat that much…”

 

“...Mashed potatoes?” 

 

Eren perked at that. “Can they be practically whipped?”

 

“Even better,” Levi began pulling out supplies and filling a large pot with water. “They can be actually whipped.” He was met with a small smile as Eren settled in at the island to help peel potatoes. When the two had a decent pile going, Levi spoke up again. “I understand if you just want to do this and talk about other things or keep your mind elsewhere, but just so you know, you can talk about it if you want to. I would love to listen. I want to help you however you’ll let me.”

 

Eren paused with his hand mid-peel. “No… it’s okay. It’s not that I don’t want to ever talk about it… about her… It’s just that I was always alone. I never had that chance… and I don’t know if I’m ready yet.”

 

“That’s perfectly okay. Just know that if you ever want to talk, I’m here to listen.” The man returned to his work, letting Eren focus on the meal-prep and mull over his offer. He moved over to the now boiling pot of water and began dropping potatoes in. 

 

“Hey, Levi?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“...About Thanksgiving… can one of the pies be chocolate-cream?” 

 

Levi turned back to Eren and gave a small smile. “Of course. Although you’ll have to tell me how to make that one. I’ve never had it.”

 

“I can do that.” Eren grinned back, standing and dropping his own pile of potatoes into the hot water. “It was… it was Mom’s favorite. We made it together every year.” He met Levi’s eyes. “Don’t worry, old man. I can teach you my ways.”

 

Levi stood on his toes and gave Eren a soft kiss, wrapping his arm around the boy’s waist to draw him closer. “I’m counting on it. We old men are always looking for ways to stay young.” 

 

“My youth is yours.” Eren kissed back, for the moment forgetting his grief and instead focusing on the warm lips connected to his own. “Until I get old, of course.” He felt Levi chuckle, a soft rumbling against his stomach.  _ And when I get old, you can have that too. You can have it all. One day, Levi. One day, I’ll have you for good. _


	36. Holidaze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!! 
> 
> We're sooooo sorry this has taken so long to get up! BUT, we have Finally finished the holiday chapter! Like we've said previously, we're out of buffer chapters so this is as we write them. 
> 
> Thankfully, however, chapter 37 is finished as well! So you'll have a normal chapter update next week! After that it might slow down a little. But we're doing our very very best to get the last chapters out for all you lovely people! 
> 
> Thank you so much to all our followers and commenters. You're words and bookmarks and kudos mean so so much! 
> 
> love you all and this has been such an amazing journey!
> 
> ~ Akira & Grace

Eren chose to keep his mind on other matters the next day, and Levi did his best to help. It was the day before Thanksgiving, namely the worst time to shop for the meal, but shop they did. Levi led the way through the store, picking up items they would need the next day. Eren followed at first, but soon left and wandered around, choosing his own foodstuffs. Each time he returned to the cart with new selections, Levi watched what he had grabbed.

 

“You know that technically this is a Thanksgiving trip, right?” He asked as he eyed the green olives and the bag of Doritos that were being tossed into the cart. 

 

“It’s  _ technically  _ a Thanksgiving trip, yes. But I have no idea what to get for that. So for you, it’s a Thanksgiving trip. For me, it’s just grocery shopping.” A tube of crescent rolls clattered into the basket. Eren looked up as he emptied his arms, meeting Levi’s withering gaze. “Well?” No response from the shorter man. “Mush! Onward!” Levi finally began moving again, but Eren could have sworn that he heard a muttered “brat” as the man turned the corner. Remembering the pie he had requested, Eren wandered off to find the needed supplies.  _ Okay, I know he already has the ingredients for the crust... that's easy. But we still need chocolate pudding and heavy cream. We have sugar at home too.  _ Finding the two missing items, he came back to Levi and dropped them carefully into the basket. “For the pie. See? I can do Thanksgiving shopping too.” He shot Levi a cheesy grin, and the older man laughed quietly, leaning up to give him a soft kiss. 

 

“Indeed you can. I just need a few more things, and then we’re ready to go. Maman and Papa are bringing the turkey, so we don’t have to worry about that one thankfully.” Eren nodded and followed behind, sticking close to Levi for the remainder of their trip.  

 

Back at the apartment, the couple hurried to put away the groceries, Eren making a point to leave the ingredients out for the pie. “We need to go ahead and make this today. It’s better if it gets to sit overnight.” Levi smiled and nodded before retrieving the rest of the supplies for a crust and setting them on the stove. 

 

“Alright, Master Baker Eren, show me how it’s done.” He grinned as Eren laughed. 

 

“That sounds like something Papa would have said. Okay, so we need to make the crust, then we need a bowl for the pudding, and we’ll need a mixer to make the whipped cream.” Levi nodded and pulled out a set of measuring spoons, a measuring cup, and two bowls. “Won’t we need three bowls?”

 

The man shook his head and winked. “I’ve got a KitchenAid mixer. That will be much better for the cream, and the bowl is on it already.” 

 

“Oh, I’ve never used one of those before. Okay, then.” The boys worked together to measure out the ingredients. Eren mixed the dough, and Levi kneaded it and rolled it out. Eren laid it carefully in the pie pan and set it aside until the oven was warm enough. “Okay, so while we wait on that, can you whip a cup of cream and two tablespoons of sugar in the mixer? I’ll work on the chocolate pudding.”  The older man nodded and moved down the counter. Pulling out the mixer, he went to work as Eren worked on the instant pudding, pausing to slip the crust in the oven to bake. Once the cream and pudding were done, Eren set the two in the fridge then turned to put the crust in the oven. “Okay, so now we wait. When the crust is done baking and has completely cooled off, we pour the pudding on the bottom and spread the whipped cream on top, and it's done! We could top it with something to make it pretty if you want.”

 

“How would your mother have done it? I know that you want this to be the same. I want to at least try to get it as close as we can.” Levi almost regretted asking as Eren’s face fell. 

 

“She used to grate chocolate shavings over the top.” The boy let the memories run in his mind. “She would always make too much whipped cream on purpose... and then she’d let me eat what was left out of the bowl. Dad hated when she did that. He said the extra sugar and the fat in the cream wasn’t healthy to just eat like that. But she would just laugh and slip me the bowl again when he left the room.” A sad smile crossed the boy’s lips as he reminisced. “Thanksgiving was her favorite holiday. Mom loved to cook and bake, even if it was only ever the three of us, and we could never finish all of it. She didn’t care. She would hum and dance around the kitchen the whole time. Thanksgiving was one of the few times that we could all be together and we were actually happy.” 

 

Levi pulled the brunette into his arms, holding him against his chest silently. Eren gripped at the back of the older man’s shirt, welcoming the warm embrace. After a few minutes, the shrill beep of the stove interrupted their silence. Levi kissed the top of the boy’s head before turning to carefully pull the crust out of the oven. “Want to help me get the stuffing started? We have to make the biscuits and stuff today so that they’re not really fresh when we put it all together tomorrow morning.” Eren nodded with a smile on his face, eyes lighting up once again. 

 

“How are we making them? I don’t remember seeing you buy any of the dough…” Levi chuckled softly and ruffled the soft brown hair.

 

“You are too fucking adorable sometimes. We’re making them from scratch. They’re better that way anyway. Family recipe and all that.” Levi listed off the cold ingredients for Eren to retrieve from the fridge while Levi got the remaining dry ingredients. The boys worked together, the man happily giving Eren direction and Eren proceeding to get flour all over both of them as they rolled out the dough. 

 

“Oh, let's put the chocolate cream pie together while the biscuits are baking!” Eren hurried to get the whipped cream and pudding out of the fridge. 

 

“You know what? I don’t think we have enough whipped cream. This is a pretty deep pie crust. I’m going to make a bit more.” Eren raised a brow questioningly but didn’t say anything. Levi smirked and mixed up more of the cream while Eren poured in the pudding before surrendering the dessert to Levi who added the whipped cream to the top. Pulling out a chocolate bar from the pantry, he christened the pie with chocolate shavings, then turned back to the mixing bowl. He smiled and shrugged at his lover. “Looks like I made too much. Care to finish it off?” 

 

Eren’s eyes widened slightly before he nodded his head and smiled. “Sure. I’d love to.” As he finished scooping out the bowl, there was a knock at the door. Eren handed the empty bowl back to Levi and went to answer it. When he realized who was behind it, a large smile crossed his face. “Maman! Papa! I didn’t think you’d be here until tomorrow!” 

 

“Eren dear, it’s so good to see you! Well, we thought we could help if we came a bit earlier.” Maman gave the boy a hug as they came in. The four of them retreated to the living room to catch up after Levi helped his parents with their small bags. “So what have you all been up to since we last saw you? How is school going?” 

 

“Well, the graduate program is attempting to kick my ass, but that’s to be expected. We did have a minor scare when Eren got into a fight on campus though. He was out for a few days to heal after that.” Levi glanced at Eren with a raised brow and a smirk. 

 

Eren flushed at the comment, looking down and picking at his sleeve. “He started it by tripping you down the stairs. It's not my fault he had the audacity to confront me after that. He got what was coming to him.” 

 

Maman gasped, slender fingers covering her dainty lips in surprise. “Oh my goodness. I hope you both are okay. Did the school do anything to retaliate? Eren, dear, you really shouldn’t fight. I’m sure Levi can attest to how that never quite goes the way you expect it to.” She shot her son a pointed look as if to say, “You better have put a stop to any harm that may have come to this boy.” Levi gave a slight nod, understanding exactly what his mother had meant with that look. 

 

“I know I shouldn’t, but Levi has done so much to protect me, I had to do something in return. Especially since the guy provoked me and threatened Levi.” 

 

Levi coughed beside him, covering up his next comment. “Even with a broken wrist.” 

 

“You got in a fight with a broken wrist??” Maman’s voice spiked with concern at the new information, eyes glancing between the two boys. 

 

Eren rolled his eyes, playfully shoving Levi in mock frustration. “It wasn’t that bad. I just fell off a ladder while I was putting up Levi’s stars in the bedroom. Honestly it didn’t even hurt that bad.” Levi couldn’t help but roll his eyes at that one, remembering the pain the boy had been in when he had originally tried to examine his wrist. 

 

“Still, you should really take better care of yourself, dear. We love you and hate to hear you’re in any kind of distress.” 

  
Papa stepped in with his warm voice. “Stars you say? You’ll have to show us, Eren! Kudos to you for figuring out my son’s closet hobby. Not many people know that one. I never figured out why he didn’t go to college for astronomy with how much he loves the night sky.” 

 

Now it was Levi’s turn to blush. He ran his fingers through his hair nervously as he moved to change the subject. “So anyway, how’s business, Papa?” With that, the two men broke off into their own conversation regarding the company. Maman turned all her attention to Eren. 

 

“I really am happy that you stood up for Levi. But really, do be more careful. You in pain causes Levi more distress than some tactless, homophobic bully.” She  pressed a palm to the boy’s knee, smiling warmly. 

 

“I know,” he nodded. “Really, I do. But it just made me so mad. Some of the things he said, they really were terrible. I just couldn’t walk away from that.” Maman smiled knowingly as they drifted off into conversation about holidays past; what Levi was like growing up around Thanksgiving and Christmas and how Eren had spent his holidays while his mom was still alive. Neither noticed when Papa and Levi’s conversation halted as Eren opened up to Maman about his past. 

 

Levi sat back and listened to his love, smiling in adoration at his mother who so easily stepped in and accepted the most important person in his life as her own.  _ I honestly don’t think this Thanksgiving could get any better. Thank you, Maman.  _ He watched as Eren’s face would light up as he got excited about a tradition he had with his mother, taking mental notes. He was ready to comfort anytime the boy’s face clouded with sadness at a fond memory that he would no longer have again. Each time, Levi would relax in amazement as Maman soothed the distress from Eren’s beautiful features. 

 

Glancing at the clock, Maman realized it was nearly six. “Oh my! The time has simply flown. We wanted to take you both out to dinner tonight. Is there anywhere that catches your fancy?” Eren glanced at Levi, unsure if he should answer. 

 

“Well, there is this nice little restaurant on the square that I’ve been meaning to take Eren to try. We could go there. They should still be open tonight.” Papa smiled as he stood and gathered their coats. 

 

“Well, let’s go then! Levi, how about you drive since you know where it is. We can ride along in the backseat.” Levi nodded and retrieved his and Eren’s coats. 

 

Helping Eren into his, he pressed a kiss to the boy’s cheek and leaned in, whispering softly. “It’s nothing fancy, and you’ll be comfortable there. I promise. I had wanted to take you there on my own, but this will be fun too. You okay with going out?” 

 

Eren nodded and smiled. “Of course. I think by now I’m game for anything with the three of you. I know I’ll be safe, and none of you will judge me if anything happens.” Levi nodded, pressing a kiss to the boy’s lips. With that, they were off. 

 

Levi chatted with his parents as Eren sat happily in silence, listening to their banter as they waited for a table at the small restaurant. From what he could tell, it was a quiet little Thai restaurant. It was definitely something new, but it smelled amazing. After a short wait, their waitress in all black took them to their table. Eren forced back a glare and slipped his hands in his pockets as the peppy redhead flirted obviously with his boyfriend. He wasn’t sure how much affection was allowed in front of Maman and Papa, especially in public, so he chose to not act as possessive as he wanted to in that moment. Instead, he made a point to sit right against Levi, obviously closer than friends or relatives would sit. Levi tilted his head, giving the boy a questioning look, but let the small action go. 

 

Turning back to his parent’s conversation, Levi thought about why Eren could possibly feel the need to be so close to him all of a sudden. He didn’t seem to be anxious or stressing over the situation.  _ Surely he’s not… No, that can’t be it.  _  Filing the thought away, he decided to keep observing the boy before he jumped to conclusions. The annoyingly bouncy ginger soon returned to take their drink orders, her eyes only leaving Levi’s general direction when someone else spoke to her. The man was about to inform her that he was gay when he felt his boyfriend move beside him. He raised a brow when Eren’s fingers gripped at his thigh as if he was trying to convince himself not to move.  _ Hm. Interesting. Maybe I’ll let her be for now. I’m curious what he’ll do. _

 

“So Eren, how are you enjoying school this semester? Grades doing well?” Papa had turned his attention to the brunette. His bright eyes wrinkled with interest as he smiled warmly. 

 

“Oh, um. It’s been alright. Classes are interesting as always. French is still giving me grief, but Levi is really great about helping with that.” He paused as the waitress came back with their drinks, eyes narrowing as she brushed against Levi’s shoulder. She reached across the table to set down the glasses. Taking a deep breath, Eren moved his hand from his lap and laid it over Levi’s as the man reached for his drink. He smirked at the persistent woman when she glared at the touch. Rolling her eyes, she walked away, making a comment about how she would be back in a few minutes to take their order. “My grades aren’t too bad. They did drop a little bit from when I missed some classes with medical stuff, but once I make up the tests, they should come back up.” 

 

Levi bumped Eren’s shoulder with his own, a small smile at his lips. “Don’t let him lie to you. By ‘my grades aren’t too bad,’ he means he had straight As, and they were just on the low 90s side. So they dropped to Bs. He’s brilliant, regardless of what he thinks.” The waitress was walking back by then. Waiting until she was within earshot, he spoke again. “Honestly, Eren is the best boyfriend… insanely smart and really sweet. I love him.” He smirked at the squeak and audible notepad dropping to the floor before the waitress turned tail and walked away to compose herself. Maman laughed audibly as she realized what had just happened. 

 

“Well, never a dull moment around you boys, is it?” A few minutes later, the now very embarrassed waitress returned and took their orders, keeping her eyes away from Eren and Levi’s side of the table. After collecting all four, she rushed back off to the kitchen. “So obviously you boys are doing well as far as your relationship goes. When do I get to help plan the wedding?” Eren flushed furiously at that, eyes widening.

 

“W-What? I d-don’t even know if…” Eren stumbled over his words, unable to form a coherent sentence. 

 

Levi wrapped an arm around the boy’s shoulders, pulling him over and kissing him on the forehead. “Maman, give us a minute. I’d really like for Eren to focus on school before thinking about any major life changes like that.” He couldn’t help but smile at the hopeful yet surprised look in Eren’s eyes. She nodded, satisfied with that response. The light conversation continued after their food came along with many compliments on Levi’s restaurant choice. 

 

Later that night after they were back at the apartment, Eren helped Maman set up the pull out couch, getting clean sheets on the bed and ensuring they had enough pillows while Levi slipped off to take a shower. “Maman, if… if I wanted to propose to him… would you and Papa really be okay with that?” 

 

Maman stopped what she was doing and turned toward Eren, pulling the self-conscious boy into her arms. “Eren, we love you as if you boys were already married. Whenever you two decide to take the next step, we’ll be the first people to back up your decision.”

 

“W-Would you help me? I have an idea… and.. I want to do this. I love him, and I want to grow old with him. But I can’t do what I’m thinking without your help....” Maman smiled, nodding happily.

 

“How about you text me one day, and we can talk about it? That way Levi doesn’t catch on?” Eren grinned and agreed. Levi emerged from the bathroom mere moments later. 

 

“You two look like children who are getting into things they shouldn’t be. What did I miss?” He raised a brow in question, glancing between Maman and Eren while Papa sat in an armchair with a book. 

 

“Oh, nothing dear! Just having a little fun while we put together the bed. Now, this is all set up, so let’s all get some sleep. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow with lots of cooking!” She kissed Eren on the forehead before moving to do the same to Levi and then pushing them both to their room. “Goodnight, boys! Love you both!” 

 

Thanksgiving day turned out blissfully uneventful. Eren spent the majority of the day working on his cooking skills with Maman and Levi. Everyone was tired but happy when they finally sat down to Thanksgiving dinner. Papa spoke up first. “Thank you so much, son, for inviting us to Thanksgiving dinner. I’d like to hear what each of you are thankful for this year. I’ll start! I’m thankful for Levi bringing us another member of our family, and I can’t wait to make many more memories with Eren.” Eren flushed at the statement but remained quiet. 

 

“I’m thankful for the same. Eren is like another son. I love you both dearly, and I’m so thankful for both of you.” Maman added. 

 

“I’m thankful to Levi and both of you…” Eren started quietly. “Because without all of you, I wouldn’t still be here. So… thank you.” 

 

Levi squeezed the boy’s knee comfortingly as he spoke. “I’m so thankful for Eren, for him bringing us all together, and for him opening my eyes to the world outside these four walls and grad school.” Raising a glass, he began a toast. “To those memories and long years of new memories.” The others raised their glasses as well in agreement. 

  
  
  
  


“Levi.”

 

A hushed voice disturbed the man’s sleep. He pretended not to hear it, enjoying the warmth of the bed.

 

“Levi.”

 

_ I love you, brat, but it’s way too fucking early. I can tell.  _ Levi continued ignoring the obviously not-in-distress Eren who was whispering near his ear.

 

“Hey, Levi. Wake up.”

 

_ I will destroy everything you love.  _ “Mmph.” The man hoped that would be a sufficient refusal, but it was in vain.

 

Eren leaned closer, his lips brushing against the man’s ear. “Levi. I need you to wake up.”

 

_ Oh, for the love of--  _ Levi huffed as he begrudgingly opened one eye and rolled over enough to peer up at his very awake partner. “What. Do you want.” He watched as the boy’s eyes lit up, and a strange cheshire cat grin spread over his face. “Oh my god, Eren. What.”

 

Eren let his smile widen as he slowly picked up his phone and tapped the screen. Music suddenly filled the room.

 

_ It’s the most wonderful time of the year _

 

_ Oh, god, no.  _

 

_ With the kids jingle-belling _

_ And everyone telling you  _

_ “Be of good cheer!” _

 

_ I fucking hate you, Andy Williams.  _

 

_ It’s the most wonderful time of the year _

 

Levi let a brief seething glare flash across his features before regaining control. “Why are you playing that? Thanksgiving was yesterday.”

 

“Because.” Eren increased the volume as he began to walk out into the apartment. “Thanksgiving was yesterday.”

 

Levi heard Eren begin to sing along as he disappeared from view.  _ Fucking hell. It’s going to be a long holiday season with that one.  _

  
  


By December 1st, Eren was begging for a tree. His first choice had been a real tree since his father had never allowed it, but Levi had firmly refused. “Please, Levi?” Eren pouted resolutely as he stared his love down. “I’ve never had one.”

 

“And there are damn good reasons for that, babe. I don’t care if you want to turn the apartment into Santa’s fucking village, but I draw the line at a dirty, water-sucking, sap-covered, bug-infested, needle-dropping--”

 

“...mood-lifting, room-brightening, happy-smelling--”

 

“Okay, the room brightening doesn’t even count. Light makes rooms bright. You know what artificial trees have? Fucking built in lights.”

 

“Don’t say that. Don’t try to make them more than they are.”

 

Levi raised a brow. “Say …what?”

 

“Artificial.” Eren said with a sneer. “It’s fake. It’s a fake, lifeless piece of non-Christmas.”

 

“Eren.”

 

“What.”

 

“Have you liked Christmas in the past?”

 

“...Yes.”

 

Levi sat down next to the boy at the kitchen counter. “And what did you have for a tree for all those years?”

 

The brunette looked up at Levi through his lashes. “I know… I was just hoping that I could have the real thing… since now I don’t live with Dad…”

 

The man let out a sigh. “I know, babe. And I’ll let you do just about anything you want to this place with the exception of having a real tree. Plus, do you even know how to put one up?”

 

“...No… But really, how hard can it be?”

 

“How hard can it be to find a healthy tree, get it home, then into the elevator, then into the apartment, then trim the end and get it set up in a stand, then keep it alive long enough for it not to turn brown before Christmas? Plus keep the apartment clean while it drops needles despite us keeping it watered?”

 

“Yeah, I know.”

 

“Plus, we would have to get a new one every year. And do all that all over again. Every year.”

 

“Yeah…” The two sat in silence for a moment before Eren spoke again. “Hey, Levi?”

 

“Mhm?”

 

“Can we go get an  _ artificial  _ tree? Like… a big one?”

 

Levi let out a soft chuckle before he stood to gather his keys. Eren beat him to it, handing the man his keys, wallet, and coat before scurrying to get his own things. 

 

Two hours later, the pair walked back into the apartment, a heavy box hoisted in Levi’s arms. Eren had spent an agonizingly long time examining the trees at three places before making his choice: an eight-foot beauty with full branches, built-in lights, and the tiniest dusting of white on the needles. Assembling it took a fraction of the time that finding it had. When it was done, Eren plopped back onto the couch with Levi to admire their handiwork. “I think…” He hesitated, trying to find the right words.

 

_ Oh, no. It took you hours to settle on this tree. You have to like it. I can’t take any more fake spruce in one day.  _ “...Yes?” The man looked tentatively at the brunette’s calculating expression.

 

“It might be the most perfect tree in the entirety of the seven kingdoms.”

 

“If you say so, Tyrion.”

 

“Hey now,” Eren met Levi’s gaze with raised brows. “I am  _ much _ taller than Tyrion Lannister.”

 

Levi’s lips quirked up. “Tywin then?”

 

The brows furrowed over a steely veridian gaze. “Are you calling me a jackass?”

 

The man laughed then. “No, of course not. Just someone with…” He planted a soft kiss on Eren’s lips. “...Impeccable taste.”

 

“Oh, you haven’t seen my impeccable taste yet.” The boy stood suddenly. “Time to decorate, Rivaille.” 

 

_ It’s okay. It’s just one month out of the year… every single year… forever…  _ “Yep. Coming. Let’s get it over with.” At a sharp gaze from Eren, he rephrased. “I mean.... Yay.”

 

“That’s what I thought.” 

  
  


Despite not being thrilled about the Christmas season, Levi appreciated how much time he got to spend with Eren. He also enjoyed how happy the boy was at any point in time.  _ Why didn’t I ever try just surrounding the kid with holiday shit to cheer him up. I mean damn. This is so simple. A little cocoa, a couple strings of lights, a huge motherfucking fake plant, and we’re golden.  _ Finals came and went, and the two were able to spend more time at home, Eren enjoying the season and Levi enjoying Eren.

 

When Christmas Eve arrived, Eren directed the evening, making sure that the setting was right for giving Levi his combined birthday/Christmas gift. Dinner was complicated and delicious and French, and the boys ate slowly and savored it by the tree. When it was over, Levi poured them both a glass of eggnog while they enjoyed the warmth and lights and each other’s company.

 

“Are you ready?” Eren set his glass down when it was empty, turning to look Levi in the eye. 

 

He looked back. “For…?”

 

“Your present.”

 

“Eren, you didn’t need to get me anything. I’m not much of a fan of my birthday or Christmas.” He too set his glass down and faced Eren. “Really. It’s okay.”

 

Eren fumed for a moment. “Dammit, Levi! It’s your birthday tomorrow. And Christmas. But you being born is much more important than that.” His voice grew softer as he felt emotion clouding his tone. “And I got you something to celebrate you. To celebrate the fact that you exist. Because that…” He paused to wipe the tear that was trickling down his cheek. “That is something to celebrate. At least, it is to me. Because I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be here if you didn’t exist.”

 

Levi moved forward, his hand cupping the boy’s chin and his thumb brushing the rest of the tears off of Eren’s cheek. “It’s okay, Eren. I’m sorry. I’m a pretty big fan of my existence too… I can’t imagine not being the one who has you.” He kissed the boy’s forehead, and then moved his lips down to each cheek, finally resting on the other’s lips. “I will love anything from you. Period.”

 

Eren relaxed into Levi’s soft touches and kisses, calming down and smiling tearily at the man. “Okay. Hold on. I’ll be right back.” He stood and walked to the back of the apartment where he had hidden the large wrapped gift. When he emerged, he was holding a rectangular box that took up most of the space in front of his body. It was very long and wide, but only a couple of inches thick. He set the box carefully on the coffee table in front of Levi, oriented just so. It was wrapped in thick, lavish, silver paper embossed with an intricate design. Around the box’s middle was a wide dark blue ribbon with lines of silver woven into it. Eren had made the bow complicated and full, so much so that it stood several inches off the top of the present. 

 

Levi looked on in wonder, taking in all the work Eren had put into the gift. “Oh my god, Eren. It’s beautiful…” He let his hands trail over the obviously expensive wrapping before moving to tug the ribbon. “I’m not even sure I want to mess it up.”

 

Eren laughed. “Trust me, I want you to mess it up.” 

 

Levi carefully took the bow in hand and unwove it piece by piece until it fell away. The wrapping went next, leaving a white box lying on the coffee table. The man carefully lifted the lid, surprised at how sturdy it was. “What’s in here? An original Monet?”

 

“Close.” Eren chuckled as Levi began sifting through the tissue paper lining the box.

 

As the paper was moved from the center, Levi caught sight of shining gold. He finished unwrapping the gift and carefully lifted it from its box. “Eren… It’s…”

 

“March 13, 2017.”

 

Levi looked at the boy, puzzled. “But it’s the night sky…”

 

Eren took the large framed piece from Levi. “This,” he said, “is the view of the night sky on March 13, 2017 from campus. It’s the night sky from the day and place that we met. It’s the stars the day you changed my life… the day our future began…” He trailed his fingers along the shining gold specks on the dark navy background. A plaque set into the bottom of the frame announced the date as well as the latitude and longitude of the view. His train of thought was interrupted by Levi’s hand gently turning his head to face him. 

 

“It’s the most perfect thing you could have ever found for me.” Levi kissed Eren deeply, momentarily forgetting his gift and leaning into his love. “I love you,” Levi said between kisses, “so fucking much, Eren Jaeger.” 

 

“Right back at you, Levi Ackerman.” Eren’s breathless voice held a smile as he gave in to the onslaught. “Merry Christmas. And happy birthday.”

 

“The happiest.”

  
  


Eren and Levi listened to the muted sounds of drunken parties as they laid on their bed. It was a week later, and the year was nearly at an end. As the last few minutes of the year slowly passed, Eren let his gaze wander until it rested on the framed star map that hung above his head. “Hey Levi?”

 

“Hm?” The man didn’t move from his position curled around the taller boy. 

 

“What do you think next year’s going to be like?”

 

“Well, it’ll have you in it the whole time, so I’m thinking pretty damn good. I mean, the first two and a half months of this year were pretty shitty…” He nestled his head into Eren’s chest. “Next year will have a lot more time for us. I won’t have to use up some of those months making sure you eat or getting you to realize your very gay feelings for me. No nonsense.” 

 

Eren laughed, jostling the man’s head. “Well, I’m so sorry to take up your precious Levi time with my lack of a diet and my obliviousness to my closeted sexuality.”

 

“Good. You should be.” He felt another chuckle rumble through Eren’s chest and smiled to himself. “Should be about time for those fireworks.”

 

Eren glanced at his phone where it lay beside him. “Two more minutes.” He ran his fingers through Levi’s soft hair, enjoying the fuzzy undercut as he waited. Eventually, he heard distant booms and people cheering in other apartments. “Happy new year.”

 

Levi picked up his head and met Eren’s lips. “Happy new year, babe.” 

 

Eren relaxed back into the bed when Levi returned to his chest.  _ And there will be so many more.  _ He looked down at the sleeping man wrapped around him.  _ Soon. I’m sure. And I know you’re sure.  _ He reached over and turned out the lamp before closing his tired eyes.  _ Soon, and then forever. _


	37. Ten Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy this chapter! Things might be a little slow again, still in the process of writing chapter 38! But the last three chapters will be amazing! We promise you that!

After Christmas and New Year’s, the days became emptier. Eren missed having so much to look forward to. He had school again, but his new classes didn’t give him the same joy as watching Levi surrounded by Christmas decorations. He tried to keep the same level of happiness that he’d had in December, but as the days dragged, he felt it waning.  _ I hate the middle of winter. A year ago, Christa and I broke up right about now… I was so miserable every day… I was hoping that Levi would keep that from happening again. I can feel it though. Everything feels heavy. Nothing seems simple…  _ He heaved a sigh, walking across campus in the bitter wind with Levi at his side.

 

_ The kid keeps deflating the further we get from Christmas break. He was so happy then…  _ Levi watched Eren as they walked, his neck buried in the thick white scarf wound around it.  _ Fuck, it’s cold. He gets cold anyway… he probably hates this weather. Maybe that’s part of it. He just seems so down...  _ As they neared the Q7, Levi pulled his hands out of his pockets, key in his grasp. He unlocked the doors, opening Eren’s for him before moving to his own. Once he had the car started, he cranked the heat and aimed the vents at Eren, seeing him shiver. “You okay there? I know you’re not the most thick blooded individual…” Eren nodded, eyes glazed as they stared ahead.  _ Okay then. Let’s just get you home. Maybe I can cheer you up with some of your favorite foods and some anime…  _

 

The two drove home in silence, Levi eyeing Eren for the majority of the ride. He parked outside their building, ushering the boy inside where it was warm and up to the apartment. Once inside, Eren stripped off his coat and went to the couch, turning on the tv. Levi followed, sitting on the coffee table and facing him. 

 

“Okay, what do you feel like having for dinner?” He moved his head a bit so he was blocking Eren’s view. 

 

The brunette met Levi’s gaze, shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t really care. I’m not very hungry…”  _ I’m probably not going to eat tonight. I’m sorry, Levi. I just really don’t have an appetite when I feel like this… _

 

Levi felt his old familiar Eren Alert curl to life in his chest. “Are you sure? You didn’t eat much at lunch.”  _ Oh, babe, don’t tell me you’re not hungry. I’ll be worried all night if you’re not hungry. That’s like the biggest red flag you can give me.  _ Levi leaned forward, cupping his hand around Eren’s face. 

 

The boy closed his eyes, leaning into the touch. He felt like crying.  _ I hate feeling like this. Make it stop, Levi. I want to care… I miss being hungry… Your cooking is so good when I’m hungry…  _ Heaving a sigh, he opened his eyes again, a small tear leaving the corner of one as he looked at the worried man in front of him. “I’m sorry. I wish I was hungry…” 

 

Levi’s chest ached as he watched the tear fall from Eren’s chin. “It’s okay. I’m going to start dinner anyway. If you get hungry, let me know. It’ll be there.” He kissed the boy on the forehead before walking into the kitchen, getting out ingredients for pot pie.  _ I can’t stand this. He’s just… depressed. I need to snap him out of it. We can do something fun tomorrow… it’ll be Saturday…  _ Levi focused on dinner, moving around the kitchen as Eren continued to lay across the couch, staring at the television. When the pot pie came out of the oven, he plated some for himself and Eren, again coming to sit on the coffee table. “Are you sure you’re not hungry? This smells amazing, and you love pot pie.”  _ Come on, kid. Please?  _

 

Eren shook his head, eyeing the plate. “Can you put it away for me? I’ll eat it later if I can…” 

 

Levi nodded, giving in. He wrapped up Eren’s serving as well as the leftovers in the pan and placed them all in the fridge. Returning to his brat, he sat on the couch next to him, leaning back and stretching his legs across the boy’s lap as he ate.  _ Contact always helps him…  _ He smiled when Eren sunk further into the couch, laying his arms over the man’s legs. They spent the evening like that, Levi suggesting that they switch to anime. Eren perked a bit as the Japanese voices filled the room, but quickly became subdued once again as the night wore on. 

 

When it was late enough, he turned the tv off, sliding Levi’s legs from his lap and standing. “Can we go to bed? I’m really tired.” 

 

“Yeah, of course. Let me just wash my plate, and we’ll go.” Eren nodded, following Levi to the kitchen and watching as he completed the quick chore.  _ He’s been tired a lot, too. He’s got to be depressed… We’re fixing that tomorrow for sure. As much as I can.  _ Levi led Eren to the bedroom, the pair changing and then curling up together. Even though he was mentally distant, Eren clung to Levi as they fell asleep, trying to break out of his state of melancholia. 

 

Hours after they had gone to bed, Eren woke, still holding Levi. The weight that had been on his chest for days had intensified, and he knit his brow, trying to breathe through it.  _ Shit. It’s not going away. I don’t want to wake Levi up… I don’t even know if he could help with this… He’s already worried…  _ Eren glanced at Levi’s sleeping form.  _ I could fix it. I could do it where he wouldn’t see… just a little… I know I promised him, but he doesn’t understand how much it helps… I don’t have the razor anymore, but Levi keeps his knives really clean… and sharp…  _ Eren made up his mind, carefully untangling himself from the small man beside him and slipping out of bed. Tiptoeing to the kitchen, he pulled a small paring knife from the wooden block and made his way to the half bathroom beside the laundry room at the back of the apartment. He closed the door noiselessly, sitting on the closed lid of the toilet and removing his shirt.  _ He can’t know about this… where should I do it?  _ As he examined his body, he glanced at the top of his arm.  _ If I cut toward the inside of my arm, he wouldn't see it unless I wore short sleeves…  _ Eren poised the knife over his skin, taking a deep breath before pressing the blade down. Streaks of red collected along his arm as he went. He relished the release of tension that came with each slice. When he had a satisfactory line of marks, he stood, washing the knife thoroughly and pressing a wad of toilet paper to his cuts.  _ Shit… stop bleeding already. That wasn’t even that deep…  _ As soon as he was able, the boy donned his shirt once more and crept back through the apartment, returning the knife to its place in the block. He slipped back into the bedroom, relieved to find Levi still sleeping soundly. Curling back up to him, he let himself drift off once more, feeling the dull throb on his arm as his consciousness left him. 

 

Levi woke with Eren tangled around him, just as he’d fallen asleep.  _ Good. Maybe he’ll feel better today since he slept so well…  _ He shifted enough to look at Eren’s face, surprised to find the boy blinking up at him. “Morning. Sleep well?” He kissed the boy’s head as he nodded, pushing himself off of Levi’s chest and sitting up in bed. 

 

Eren yawned, rubbing his face and looking over at Levi. “Mhm.” He glanced down at his sore arm, trying to check for blood spots, but Levi surprised him before he could. He gently gripped Eren’s arms, tugging him closer in the bed. Eren let out a gasp as he felt his skin stretch, pulling his cuts apart. 

 

Levi immediately released the boy, eyes widening as he looked for the source of the pain. His heart sank as he watched small spots of crimson appear on one of Eren’s sleeves.  _ No… no, please, babe… not this. I didn’t know it was this bad…  _ Before Eren could react, Levi reached out and took his arm gingerly, looking at his brat with concern. “Eren… Look at me.”

 

Eren didn’t meet his eyes, keeping his gaze trained on the blanket.  _ Fuck. He wasn’t supposed to know… I promised him… I’m such a piece of shit. I couldn’t even keep my promise…  _ Eren drew shallow breaths as his chest grew tighter.  _ I can’t fucking panic now! I’m already making him worry. Just calm the fuck down and breathe, dammit!  _ The brunette’s internal coaching only worsened his breathing. 

 

As Eren struggled, Levi moved closer on the bed, letting go of the injured arm and taking the boy’s face between his hands. “Eren, breathe for me, okay? I’m not mad. I know you’ve been having a shitty time recently… I don’t understand why, but I’m not mad. Please, look at me.” When Eren’s gaze reluctantly lifted, Levi continued. “Please breathe… inhale, exhale. You're okay, babe… everything’s okay. I’ve got you.” He breathed with Eren, moving one hand to rub the boy’s back soothingly as he worked to calm him. When his breathing had normalized, Levi took his arm again, examining the blood stains. “Let’s get this wrapped up, okay?” Eren nodded, allowing Levi to lead him to the bathroom. After Eren had made himself comfortable on the counter, Levi began gathering supplies.  _ I thought he got rid of his razor after the last time… He promised he had… So either he lied, or he got more… or he used something else…  _ When Levi had everything he needed, he carefully removed Eren’s shirt and checked the state of the cuts.  _ They’re not as bad as last time, thank god. There would have been a lot more blood if they had been…  _ He pressed a cotton ball loaded with peroxide to the cuts, wiping up the excess and preparing the gauze.  _ I don’t think he lied about getting rid of the razor… He would have felt guilty for lying, and he would have seemed off… He probably just used something else.  _ Winding the gauze around Eren’s arm, he snipped off the end and taped it. “Okay, that should be good. How does it feel?” 

 

Eren looked at Levi tentatively. “I-It’s okay.” He slid off the counter, picking up his soiled shirt and dropping it in the laundry hamper. Returning to the bedroom, he found another shirt and quickly put it on, careful not to move the gauze as he did so. Levi wandered after him as he slid back into the bed, pulling the covers up over his head. The man crawled up onto the bed next to his brat, trying to pull the covers back, but Eren held firm. “I’m sorry, Levi.” The small voice was muffled by the blanket.

 

Levi felt his chest clench at the boy’s apology.  _ Okay, enough of you feeling like this. I’m going to make you feel better, and it’s going to happen today. You wouldn’t have hurt yourself unless you felt like shit. You haven’t done that in so, so long…  _ “Make me a list of ten things that I can do today to make you happy.”

 

Eren pulled the blanket back a bit and peeked one eye at Levi. “What?”

 

“Anything. Anything at all that I can do to make you happy. I want a list. And I want you to tell me what to make you for breakfast, too.”  _ Because you’re eating. Please, please eat. I’ll get you anything. I don’t care if all you want is cotton candy flavored seedless grapes. I’ll make it happen.  _

 

Eren pulled the blanket the rest of the way off his face.  _ Is he not going to make me talk about the cuts?  _ He thought for a moment before looking at Levi. “I want eggs Benedict.” 

 

Levi smiled, grateful that the boy had answered so quickly.  _ Thank god. Maybe he’ll eat like he usually does…  _ “Okay, eggs Benedict it is. How many should I make? Considering you didn’t eat last night…”  _ Not being pushy. Just being practical. _

 

“Eight.”

 

The man’s smile grew. “You’re going to eat eight, or I should make eight?”

 

“There’s a very real possibility that I will eat eight. You should make twelve.” Eren relaxed a bit as he heard Levi laugh suddenly. 

 

“Yes, boss. Twelve eggs Benedict coming right up.” He stood and moved off the bed to go start breakfast. As he was walking away, he called back over his shoulder. “And keep working on that list. This doesn’t count.” Entering the kitchen, he wandered around, grabbing ingredients to start making the hollandaise sauce. After a moment, he heard soft footsteps coming down the hall. Eren emerged shortly, holding his phone. He went to the couch, curling up and watching Levi over the back of it. Levi returned to his task, combining ingredients and setting temperatures on the stove. A few minutes later, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Pulling it out, he smirked as he saw a text from Eren flash on the screen.

 

**Eren: 1. Kiss under my jaw and along my neck.**

 

Levi stopped what he was doing, making his way around the half wall to the couch to complete his task. Sitting next to Eren, he plucked his phone out of his hands and placed it on the coffee table. Eren leaned back into the couch as Levi began suckling at his jawbone, moving slowly down his neck. “You mean like this?” Eren nodded. When Levi pulled away, the boy’s face was flushed. “Sorry, babe, but I do kind of have food on the stove. We can pick this up later if you want.” He kissed Eren on the lips before standing, looking down as the love of his life panted softly. “Any better?” 

 

“I need to think that through next time. But yes, I feel better.” Eren’s blush faded as he stared up at Levi. “Go cook me food. I’m really starting to get hungry.” He gave the man a faint smile before sitting back up on the couch. 

 

“Glad to hear it. Let me know if you need anything else. I might be able to tear myself away.” He gave Eren one more peck on the lips before returning to the stove and finishing the meal. When it was done, he put six of the twelve servings on a plate and brought it over to Eren before grabbing two for himself. He got forks and settled down on the couch with the boy, both eating in silence for several minutes. Relief filled the man as Eren inhaled his food, getting up after a few minutes and going to get more. He returned with another three servings, finishing those as well. “There’s one more if you want it.” Levi looked over at Eren, noting his once again empty plate.

 

“I’m full… you can have it.” Eren stretched out on the couch and grabbed his phone as Levi rose and got the last serving, finishing it at the counter. He cleaned up and returned to the couch, plopping back down with his charge. Eren looked up as he did so, turning sideways and draping his legs lazily over the man’s lap as Levi had done the night before. 

 

_ You’re already acting more normal than you have been. This was a good plan. Good job, Levi.  _ He smiled and relaxed under Eren’s weight, enjoying the comfortable silence between them. Before too long, another text made his phone vibrate.

 

**Eren: 2. Wrap me in blankets and cuddle with me. It’s cold.**

 

_ I knew you hated the cold.  _ Levi gently moved Eren’s legs and went to hunt down several blankets, bringing them back to the couch. He watched Eren smile as he began efficiently tucking them around the boy. When he was satisfied with the burrito he had built, he sat down next to it and wrapped an arm around the head of brown hair poking out of the bundle. “I’m going to be your pillow. I hope you’re good with that.” Eren giggled and nodded. He tilted his head over to Levi’s shoulder and relaxed into the man.  _ God, I love that sound. I want you laughing all the time.  _ Levi pressed a kiss to the boy’s head and let his eyes drift shut as the two lounged there. 

 

It had been fifteen minutes or so before Eren got another idea.  _ I want ice cream. This is perfect. I won’t even get cold…  _ He managed to wriggle his hands out from the blankets and text another quick message to Levi. 

 

**Eren: 3. Feed me ice cream while I’m in my blankets so I don’t get fucking freezing.**

 

Feeling the buzzing in his pocket, Levi stirred. He pulled his phone out and checked the screen before looking at Eren in disbelief. “One, you’re still hungry? And two, you want ice cream? In January?” 

 

Eren kept his head down in his burrito, looking up at Levi through his lashes. “It is a thing that will make me happy. So, yes.”  _ You didn’t say it had to be seasonally appropriate. _

 

_ Stop being so fucking cute. Oh my god, I’m going to be hopeless when we have kids. I’m going to be the world’s most intimidating doormat. And if they have eyes anything like his…  _ “Do we even have ice cream? I mean, I’ll get some if we don’t-” 

 

“We do. I got some.” Eren looked at the man innocently. “It’s strawberry.”

 

“Of course it is.” Levi removed his arm from its spot behind the boy’s head and stood before heading to the kitchen. He found the ice cream and grabbed a spoon, then made his way back to his waiting bundle. He loaded the spoon and held it to Eren’s lips. Eren accepted, making a noise of approval as the taste hit his tongue. They continued like that for almost the entire pint, Levi feeding his burrito and occasionally taking a bite himself. 

 

As they were nearing the bottom, Eren started to get cold despite all the blankets surrounding him.  _ I want him in here with me… He’s always so warm.  _ “Hey, Levi, we can do anything I want, right?” 

 

_ Uh oh.  _ “Anything at all, as long as it’s safe and legal. Actually, scratch that. Anything that’s safe.” He watched Eren grab his phone again and type furiously. When he stopped, he looked up at Levi with a hopeful expression as he waited for the text to go through. Levi’s phone buzzed.

 

**Eren: 4. Watch Zootopia with me (you have to get in my blanket nest).**

 

Levi raised his eyebrows. “What the fuck is Zootopia?” In answer, Eren grabbed the remote and raised one side of his blanket mound, offering it to Levi. The man relented. He slid in next to the boy and tangled their legs before pulling Eren against him. 

 

_ This is good. I like this.  _ The brunette smiled softly at the contact. “‘What the fuck is Zootopia’ he says. You uncultured swine.” He laughed as Levi raised his eyes to the ceiling. “It’s a fucking classic is what it is.” He pressed play on the remote, leaning into the man at his side.  _ I honestly didn’t think this would help, but I do feel better. I really love him…  _ Eren let his mind wander as they watched the screen.  _ My kids are going to watch the fuck out of this movie. Our kids. He wants kids too… I’m so glad. Little Levis everywhere. Oh, my god, he’s going to be such an adorable dad.  _ Eren smiled to himself as he pictured Levi grilling burgers on a back patio somewhere while children chased each other around his legs.  _ That stuff probably isn’t even that far off… He’s 26 already, and I’m 20. In a few years, we could have that… of course we would do other stuff first. I want to finish school. And have a job and a house. And I want to marry him… I want to put a ring on his finger…  _

 

“Okay, that was actually not terrible.” 

 

Eren looked up at Levi and then back at the screen, seeing the credits rolling. “It’s over? I didn’t even notice…” 

 

_ Yeah, you were kind of staring into space for the second half of that. You seem fine though…  _ Levi yawned and leaned his head on Eren’s shoulder. “Mhm. Spoiler alert, the good guys won. And my god, that mouse has a high pitched voice. But yeah, decent movie.” He was startled by a very in-character Eren squeaking next to him.

 

“Awwww, thank you!”  _ That was damn impressive. Fru Fru ain’t got nothin on me.  _ He gave Levi a flat look as the man stared at him. “Can I help you?”

 

Levi blinked. “Nope. Just let me know when my boyfriend gets back.”  _ Holy shit. _

 

Eren smiled proudly. “She's my favorite character. Well, her and Flash.” He slouched deeper into the blankets.  _ I’m sleepy now. Maybe Levi would take a nap with me… We could listen to music… OR…  _ He slowly pulled his phone back out of the blankets, eyeing the man at his side as he typed.

 

**Eren: 5. Sing to me while I lay in your lap?**

 

He watched Levi tentatively as he read the text. 

 

_ He put a question mark on this one…  _ “Babe? Why the question mark?” Levi looked over at the brunette, taking note of his anxious expression. “Are you afraid I’m going to say no?”

 

Eren fidgeted in his blankets, not meeting Levi’s eyes. “I know you only sing when I’m panicking… or when you think I can’t hear you… And I love your voice, so I wanted to ask for this… but-” He was interrupted by Levi’s mouth on his own.

 

“But nothing. If it will make you happy, I’ll sing to you all day. Just for you, babe. Only for you…” With that, he pulled Eren into his lap and carded his fingers through the soft brown hair. Opening his mouth, he sang softly:

 

_ “May these words be the first _ _   
_ _ To find your ears. _ _   
_ _ The world is brighter than the sun _ _   
_ _ Now that you’re here. _ _   
_ _ Though your eyes will need some time to adjust _ _   
_ _ To the overwhelming light surrounding us, _ _   
_ _   
_ _ I’ll give you everything I have. _ _   
_ _ I’ll teach you everything I know. _ _   
_ _ I promise I’ll do better. _ _   
_ _ I will always hold you close, _ _   
_ _ But I will learn to let you go. _ _   
_ _ I promise I’ll do better. _ _   
_ _ I will soften every edge, _ _   
_ _ I’ll hold the world to its best, _ _   
_ _ And I’ll do better. _ _   
_ _ With every heartbeat I have left _ _   
_ _ I will defend your every breath, _ _   
_ _ And I’ll do better. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ ’Сause you are loved. _ _   
_ _ You are loved more than you know. _ _   
_ _ I hereby pledge all of my days _ _   
_ _ To prove it so. _ _   
_ _ Though your heart is far too young to realize _ _   
_ _ The unimaginable light you hold inside, _ _   
_ _   
_ _ I’ll give you everything I have. _ _   
_ _ I’ll teach you everything I know. _ _   
_ _ I promise I’ll do better. _ _   
_ _ I will always hold you close, _ _   
_ _ But I will learn to let you go. _ _   
_ _ I promise I’ll do better. _ _   
_ _ I will rearrange the stars, _ _   
_ _ Pull ‘em down to where you are. _ _   
_ _ I promise, I’ll do better. _ _   
_ _ With every heartbeat I have left, _ _   
_ _ I’ll defend your every breath. _ _   
_ _ I promise I’ll do better. _ _   
_ _ I will soften every edge, _ _   
_ _ Hold the world to its best. _ _   
_ _ I promise I’ll do better. _ _   
_ _ With every heartbeat I have left, _ _   
_ _ I’ll defend your every breath, _ _   
_ __ I’ll do better.”

 

Levi let his voice trail off as he felt Eren shaking on his lap. “Eren? Babe, are you okay?” He ran his fingers along the boy’s arms, leaning over to look into his face. The tears he found there surprised him. “What happened? Are you okay?” Levi gently pulled the brunette into a sitting position so he could wrap his arms around him. He held him tightly as he cried, tear stains collecting on the front of his shirt. 

 

Eren clung to him, letting his emotions overwhelm him. He felt the man begin to rub his back, trying to soothe him. “I-I’m okay… I just…” He paused to sniffle, then took a deep breath before continuing. “That s-song… is that true? Do you really f-feel like that?” He tried to calm down, but he was more emotional than he had counted on.

 

Levi spoke calmly in his ear, trying to calm him.  _ He’s been emotional for a few days now… comes with the territory, I guess.  _ “Shhh, Eren, it’s okay. Yes, everything in that song is true. I picked it because I was hoping it would help you feel safe and loved… I would do anything to make you happy…” Eren hiccuped as Levi continued speaking, trying to calm himself down. “I love you… I’ve got you…” Levi began rocking the shaking boy, slowly laying them both down in the blankets on the couch, Eren on his chest. After several long minutes, Eren’s hiccuping ceased along with his tears. The man felt his breathing deepen as he drifted off to sleep.  _ That’s right, babe. Just sleep for now. You’re okay… Your emotions always get the better of you when you’re feeling like shit. I should really expect it and prepare for it at this point…  _ They stayed like that for a long time. Levi wasn’t sure how long exactly, as he’d left his phone out of reach on the coffee table. He dozed as well, but his main focus was Eren. He kept his grip firm, wanting him to feel secure when he finally did wake. 

 

Eren’s eyes fluttered open around 2:00. He felt Levi breathing beneath him and the warm, heavy blankets sitting on top of him.  _ Too warm…  _ He slowly pushed himself off of Levi, sitting up in his blanket nest. He let his gaze wander over to the windows in the living room wall.  _ It’s snowing again. There’s a really decent cover on the ground now…  _ Levi moved next to him, meeting his gaze as it fell. “Hi.” 

 

“Hi there.” Levi sat up next to Eren and brushed the hair out of his face to check his expression. “Feeling any better?” 

 

The boy nodded, reaching up and taking the hand still lingering in his hair. “Much.” He let his gaze wander over to the windows again before his next idea struck him. Levi watched as he took his phone in hand, sending a text. 

 

_ Oh, boy. What next? I refuse to watch Frozen…  _ He looked down at his phone, surprised by what he saw there.

 

**Eren: 6. Okay, enough with the blankets and the crying. Let’s go for a walk in the snow.**

 

“We can absolutely go for a walk in the snow, but aren't you going to freeze? I mean, you were cold in the apartment earlier…” 

 

“No, I really want to. You said whatever would make me happy. Please? I’ll wear everything I own.” Eren gave a mock puppy dog expression, widening his eyes as much as he could.  _ You asked for it… _

 

_ Holy mother of fuck. Stop that. Yup, I’m definitely going to be one hell of a pushover parent.  _ “Oh my god, Eren. Yes. Fine. Whatever you want. Go put on everything you own that qualifies as winter clothing, and we’ll go out in the snow.” He laughed as the boy bounded off the couch and into the bedroom.  _ Those eyes of his… just…  _ He too rose from the couch. He folded the blankets before joining Eren in the bedroom, hunting down his own winter wear. In ten minutes, the pair was ready to leave, Eren tugging Levi out the door. Once outside, they fell into a matching rhythm, strolling down the sidewalk and admiring the snow. Levi pulled one of Eren’s hands out of his pockets and linked their fingers through their gloves. The boy smiled over at him. He seemed much happier than he had that morning. “Are you okay? Not too cold?”

 

“Nope. I’m good.” Eren smiled as he watched the people on the street and the children playing in the yards around them. As the pair walked, they came up on a hill. Several people were sliding down it, laughing and squealing as they went. Eren stopped, his attention fixed on the sight.  _ Okay. I figured out number seven.  _ He caught back up to Levi as he took his phone out of his pocket, pulling off a glove and writing his next message to the man.

 

**Eren: 7. OH MY GOD, CAN WE GO SLEDDING??**

 

Levi stopped as he read the words.  _ Well, fuck. Okay. Here goes this, I guess.  _ “Um, yeah… hang on though. We kind of need a sled…” He left Eren standing on the sidewalk for a moment, jogging down the street to a small grouping of stores. He checked them all before he found one that sold sleds. Settling on a plastic two-person toboggan, he paid and made his way back down the street to where he had left Eren. “Okay, got a sled.” 

 

Eren grinned from ear to ear at the sight of the toboggan. He quickly grabbed it from Levi and made his way up to the top of the hill. He panted as he climbed, finally reaching the top and positioning the sled in a good direction. “Okay, get in!” Eren sat in the back, waiting for Levi to take the front and get them going. 

 

“Actually…” Levi squatted down next to the boy, sliding him to the front. “You need to be here. Don’t worry about steering so much.. It’s going to be next to impossible in this thing anyway. Plus, there aren’t really any obstacles we’ll need to avoid…” He left the boy in the sled, backing up. “Ready?”

 

“Uh… yeah?”  _ What the fuck is he doing?  _ Eren’s question was answered as Levi ran back up to the sled, pushing the back of it and hopping in as it began to tip downhill. “Holy shit, that’s fast!” Eren held tight to the sides of the sled as it whipped down the hill. He laughed, a smile bigger than Levi had ever seen on his face. As the brief ride ended, the sled came to a stop at the base of the hill. Eren panted from the adrenaline, shooting Levi a wide grin. “Can we do that again? Right now?” 

 

Levi grinned back at the boy, happy that he was happy. “Absolutely. As many times as you want.” 

 

After three more rides, Eren was exhausted. He had been thrown into the snow once as they careened to a stop, and climbing up the hill had soaked his pants thoroughly. He hadn’t told Levi this, knowing the man would make him go home and warm up if he knew. He panted as he stood from the sled. “I think that’s enough sledding. It was fun, but I’m dying here.” 

 

Levi chuckled at the boy, noting his lack of breath. “Whatever you want. We can keep walking and let you catch your breath.” 

 

“Sounds good.” Eren began dragging the sled behind them before Levi grabbed the rope. “Thanks.”

 

“Anytime, babe.” 

 

The two walked in silence for a while. Levi kept an eye on his brat, making sure that he was really okay, while Eren focused hard on not letting Levi know how cold he was getting.  _ He knew I would be cold… And he was right… I’m fucking freezing.  _ As they turned the next corner, Eren realized how close they were to Cafe Shina. He took his phone out.

 

**Eren: 8. I’m fucking freezing. I need coffee and human sunshine.**

 

Levi read the text, quickly looking up at Eren with concern. “Why didn’t you tell me you were getting cold? We could have headed back and gotten you warmed up…” 

 

“Because I knew you’d try to make me go home… I’m fine, really. Today’s been fun… We can just go get coffee and sit inside the shop for a while. I’ll warm up.” He wrapped his arms tighter around himself, willing his body to warm. 

 

Levi watched the boy hug himself before moving closer to him on the sidewalk and wrapping his arm around him. He rubbed Eren’s arms as they walked, trying to create some friction to warm him up. When they reached the coffee shop, he released him and pulled the door open. “After you, babe.” Eren gave him a small smile and entered. 

 

Heading to the counter, he scanned the room for Armin before finally spotting him ducking down behind the shelves of pastries. “Armin!” 

 

Before too long, a head of blonde hair rose above the counter, along with the mushroom who owned it. “Hey Eren, Levi!” He looked over the wet, shivering boy standing in front of him. “Isn’t it kinda cold out for a walk…?” 

 

“Yes, yes it is, but Eren insisted.” Levi reached the counter, again rubbing Eren’s shaking arms. “And it was fun for a while, but now it’s just cold. Can we get some drinks?” 

 

“Of course! I’ll have some coffee and tea out in just a minute. Why don’t you guys sit down over there?” Armin pointed to a table near the counter. “There’s a heating vent underneath it.” 

 

_ You never disappoint me, Armin.  _ “Thanks, I believe we will.” Levi moved with Eren over to the table, taking a seat and making sure the boy was positioned over the vent. “Are you okay? You’re shaking pretty damn hard…”  _ If making you happy gives you hypothermia, I think I’d rather you were a little less happy…  _

 

Eren nodded, taking care to keep his teeth from chattering. “Y-yup. I’m f-fine.” 

 

_ Oh, you fucking liar.  _ “Well, even so, I’m calling us a cab for the ride back to the apartment. It would take twenty minutes to walk there, and I don’t want you getting any colder. I really don’t want you getting sick…” He trailed off as Eren sneezed, then sniffled.  _ Fuck.  _ “As soon as we drink these, we’re going home. I love you, but I need to get you warm.”

 

Eren nodded again, not trusting himself to speak without stuttering. In a few moments, Armin brought their drinks over. The brunette sipped his gratefully, hoping it would help warm him. Halfway through the coffee, he realized that it wasn’t going to cut it.  _ God, I’m cold. Really, really cold. I want to go home. Levi was right…  _ He looked over at the man. Levi was typing something, not paying attention to Eren.  _ Okay. Number nine.  _

 

**Eren: 9. This isn’t working. Take me home and take a bath with me.**

 

Levi looked up when he saw the text pop up on his phone.  _ If he’s cold enough to ask to leave, he’s gotta be fucking cold. Shit.  _ “Absolutely. I already ordered the cab. It’ll be here in a few minutes.” He finished his drink as he watched Eren, taking a mental inventory of his appearance. The boy was still shivering, working not to let his teeth chatter as he sipped at the coffee. His skin was paler than it should be, even in winter, and his fingers were grasping the hot cup as tightly as they could. As Levi looked over his clothing, he noticed quite a few damp spots that he hadn’t before. Thankfully, the cab arrived in under ten minutes, and the two stood and headed outside to meet it. Levi continued working to warm the boy in the back seat, rubbing his arms and legs and holding his hands. They pulled up outside the apartment building, Levi paying, and quickly got inside and upstairs. Once the door had shut behind them, the man stripped Eren’s winter clothing off and marched him to the bathroom. He ran water into the tub, filling it before turning on the jets and stripping down while Eren did the same. “Okay, this might hurt a little…”

 

_ Don’t care. Freezing my ass off.  _ “Fine by me. I’d rather be warm.” Eren stepped into the water, stopping for a moment as the heat hit his cold legs. “Fuck… that’s hot…” He slowly continued lowering himself into the water, letting the stinging sensation worsen and then fade. 

 

When he was all the way in the tub, Levi stepped in as well, sitting behind the boy and wrapping his arms around him. “Better?” 

 

Eren slid down and let his head fall back onto Levi’s shoulder. “Much, much better.” He glanced down at his arm where the bandages were getting soaked. Sitting up a bit, he reached over and pulled them away, revealing the angry red lines that he had made the night before. The brunette deposited the bandages onto the pile of wet clothing outside the tub before leaning back into Levi’s chest. He sat in silence with the man for awhile, finally speaking in a small voice. “I’m sorry, Levi. I know I promised you that I wouldn’t. Everything just… it’s been so hard… it always is at this time of year… and…” He paused to wipe at his face, mingling the tears there with the hot water from his hands. 

 

“I know, Eren. I hate that you felt like that, but I know you didn’t just do it on a whim. You hadn’t cut since… he came back that first time… and you’ve been doing so well. So I knew it had to be bad… and I’m so sorry you felt like that.” He leaned his head forward to kiss Eren on the temple. “I knew you weren’t yourself, but I didn’t know how bad it was. Please, tell me next time. Tell me so I can help you before you feel like this is the only option.”  _ I would do anything to help you. I would walk through fire for you and your tan skin and messy hair and soft lips… and those beautiful ocean eyes…  _

 

The boy nodded against Levi, turning his head toward him. He stretched, kissing Levi on the lips, then turned in the tub so he was facing him. He sat on the man’s legs, his arms linked around his neck as he continued to kiss him. Breaking away for a minute, he met Levi’s eyes. “I will. I promise, I will. I wasn’t sure you could help, so I just did what I thought would help… And it did help, but what you’ve been doing today has helped so much more. I love you…” He returned to kissing the man, moving from his lips to his cheek and down to his neck. Pulling their bodies closer in the tub, Eren tightened his arms around Levi’s neck as he threaded his fingers in the soft black hair. “Levi?”

 

“Hm?” Levi closed his eyes, enjoying the barrage of kisses. 

 

“I have one more thing I want you to do.” 

 

“And what on earth could that be?”  _ Please, god, let it be sex.  _

 

Eren nipped at Levi’s shoulder as he kissed there, then brought his mouth to the man’s ear. “Number ten. Fuck me.” 

 

_ Oh, thank god.  _ “With pleasure.” 

 

Levi captured the boy’s lips in a heated kiss, Eren’s fingers tightening in his hair as he responded in kind. The older man pressed his erection against the brunette’s firm ass, groaning into the kiss at the feeling. “Fuck, Eren. I love you so fucking much.” Eren’s head fell back as Levi nipped and sucked down his throat, a soft chuckle escaping him at the man’s comment. 

 

“Ngh… I love you too, Levi… Christ, hurry up and fuck me. I need your cock. Make me forget feeling so shit lately.” He bit his lip as Levi’s hand slipped down his back, fingers gripping at his ass before slipping one in. Eren mewled softly, returning his lips to Levi’s as he nipped at his swollen pink ones. The boy trembled and moaned as the older man’s deft fingers stretched him. After a few minutes, Levi removed his hand, guiding his throbbing member to the boy’s entrance. Eren shifted slightly to allow the movement, bracing himself on the edges of the tub. His wanton moan echoed off the bathroom walls as Levi slid into him. 

 

“God you’re so tight. Fucking perfect. I love listening to you echo off these walls... listening to you fall apart at my touch.” Levi thrust into the boy, Eren rocking his hips to meet his movement. Neither cared about the water they were currently splashing all over the bathroom floor. 

 

Eren gasped as Levi wrapped his fingers around his twitching member, stroking as best he could to their erratic movement. “S-Shit… Levi. Yes, fuck, right there!” He cried out as Levi hit the magic spot. Levi chuckled, nipping and sucking down the boy’s neck, hovering at the hollow of his throat. Eren moaned at the combined sensations.  _ It’s so not fair of him to hit two spots at once. Fuck, I’m going to lose my mind _ . “L-Levi… I can’t last m-much longer if y-you keep doing tha-” He cried out again as the older man bit down on his neck, thrusting harder. 

 

“Come for me, Eren. Let me hear you.” Levi thrust harder as he felt Eren tightening around him, fingers working at the boy’s length. He moaned as the brunette screamed in his arms, body shaking as he came all over Levi’s chest. “F-Fuck, yes…” Levi held tight to his lover as he found his own release, both fighting to catch their breath as they came down from their high. A low, throaty chuckle slipped from Levi’s lips as he spoke. “Perhaps we should actually clean up in this bath and then we can curl up in bed. Thoughts?” 

 

Eren hummed his agreement as his head rested on the other’s shoulder. Limply, he helped Levi get them both clean, then quickly retreated from the now-chilled water. Finding the warmest set of pajamas he owned, he climbed into bed, curling up in Levi’s arms. “Thank you for today. I honestly don’t know how I would survive without you. I love you, Levi.” 

 

Levi kissed the boy’s damp hair, then pressed his cheek to the top of his head. “I love you too, Eren. Now get some rest.” With that, they both slipped off into a deep slumber. 


	38. Heart Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry it's been a bit since we updated! This chapter is a tad bit shorter than we have been writing but we think its just as sweet and meaningful! Let us know what you think! 
> 
> The last two chapters will be coming soon!

The beginning of the school year had been rough for Eren, but things were finally starting to level out. Levi had spent time making sure that he was pulled out of his winter funk, but now Levi himself was starting to look drained. His thesis was taking all the time that he wasn’t sleeping or spending with Eren, and it was showing. He had dark circles growing under his eyes; his usually impeccable posture was drooping. 

 

The change in demeanor wasn’t lost on Eren.  _ I’ve got to do something for him, especially with Valentine’s Day coming up…. I bet he doesn’t even realize that’s next week. He’s been so busy on top of worrying about me. AH! I know! I’ll surprise him with dinner that night! I don’t have classes at all that day, so he’ll be on campus, and I’ll have all day to plan. I have to make sure this goes perfectly! _ As he sat in class, he stopped taking notes and started making plans for the following Wednesday. 

 

Several minutes and a page full of notes later, he had his game plan.  _ This will be the best Valentine’s Day ever! First and foremost, I need to drop him off at school so I can have the car. Otherwise, this will be much harder. I really don’t want to carry groceries and supplies several miles in February… _

 

Throughout the week, Eren did his best to act completely normal so Levi wouldn’t catch on to what he was planning. He watched as the man stayed up late working on his thesis night after night and tried to help in whatever ways he could manage. By Tuesday night, he decided to step in. He stepped away from the counter after closing the dishwasher, making his way over to where Levi sat at the table in front of his laptop. “Okay. Bedtime for Levi.” He gently picked up the laptop from the table as the man clumsily tried to grab it back.

 

“Wait, I have more I need to get done tonight!”

 

Eren tried to raise a single brow, but found it impossible. He settled for lifting both instead and gave his love a dubious look. “Is it due tomorrow?”

 

Levi lowered his gaze. “....Not technically.”

 

“Great.” Eren finished clearing the table and pulled Levi’s chair back so he would stand. “Then you can take a break and get a good night’s sleep for once.”  _ You’ll need it for what I have planned… plus you have class tomorrow first anyway…  _ He led the tired man to the bedroom, waited while he got ready for the night, and curled up next to him under the warm comforter. “See? Bed beats thesis.” The only response was a muted “hrmph” before silence filled the room. Eren smiled to himself and gave in, letting tiredness overcome him as well.

 

Valentine’s Day dawned too early for Eren, but by the time he had opened his eyes and adjusted to the light, Levi was already out of bed and gathering his things to leave for school.  _ Better hurry up and get through phase one before he runs out the door.  _ The boy dragged himself from the bed and made his way to the kitchen, a whirlwind of Levi greeting him as the man got ready. Eren went about his task, nonchalantly going to the cupboard and pulling a small parcel from behind a box of strawberry Pop-Tarts. He caught Levi at the front door, gently blocking his exit.

 

“Sorry, Eren, I don’t mean to be so rushed and ignore you like this. Today is going to be busy for me. I need to get going.” He gave the boy an apologetic look and a soft, quick kiss as he slung his bag over his shoulder.

 

“I know. You’re good. But just one quick thing first.” Levi waited as Eren pulled something from his back pocket. “Happy Valentine’s Day.” A half grin quirked the man’s lips upward as he took the small item. The boy watched eagerly as he opened it. 

 

Levi studied the valentine amusedly. He slid the stick of the heart-shaped lollipop from the cardboard card and tucked it into his pocket before reading the message on the front. 

 

To: Rivaille

 

From: Eren

 

Below the words was a picture of a fluffy white sheep. When Levi opened the card, he was met with the words, “I love ewe from the bottom of my heart.” He couldn’t help the twitch of his lips at the unbelievably corny words.  _ I love you, you sappy little shit.  _ The raven-haired man closed the card and pocketed it and the lollipop. He looked at Eren’s grinning face, then leaned in to give him a more appropriate kiss. He felt the boy melt into him as their lips parted, Eren’s hands snaking around Levi’s slim waist. 

 

When they broke apart, Eren let out a breathy “Have a good day.” 

 

Levi chuckled. “It would be impossible not to after that.” He gave the boy another quick peck. “Thank you for my card.” 

 

The brunette’s face flushed. “You’re welcome.”  _ Mkay but I’ve got more.  _ “I’ll see you tonight. How late do you think you’ll be?”

 

“Hopefully not too late. I’ll do my best to wrap up at a decent hour.” Levi adjusted his bag and opened the front door, throwing a soft smile over his shoulder at the boy watching him. 

 

Eren smiled back, perfectly content until the door had almost shut.  _ Shit! I need the car!  _ “L-Levi!”

 

The door opened wide once more. “Eren?”

 

“Um… can I… I mean, I want to drop you off if it’s okay. I wanted to go.. do.. something. Get something. A-Anime.”  _ Oh good god, Eren.That wasn’t at all suspicious.  _ “There’s a new anime season coming out today that I’ve been waiting for. And I thought I might go look around while I’m there…”

 

_ Uh huh. _ “If you can be ready in five seconds, absolutely. I really need to get going though.” He watched the boy sprint to the bedroom for his shoes, coat, keys, and wallet before sprinting back to the front door, panting. “Good?” Eren nodded. Levi led the way out the door, closing and locking it behind them.

 

When Eren had deposited Levi at his building, he set out for the store.  _ Okay. Shopping time. _ It took three stores before the boy had what he needed. He headed back home to start getting things ready. Everything needed to be perfect.

 

Halfway through his mentally-draining day, Levi sat back in his chair and took a deep breath.  _ I think my brain might explode. This is so much.  _ As his position shifted, he heard the sound of crinkling plastic. Puzzled, he reached into his pocket and withdrew the heart-shaped lollipop from the valentine Eren had given him. He removed the wrapper and popped it in his mouth, sitting back up in his seat.  _ Okay. Back to work. Get as much of this done as possible so I can get out of here and home to Eren. It’s Valentine’s Day. It would suck if I couldn’t at least spend a little time with him. He’s been so understanding…  _ The day passed quickly for both Eren and Levi. By five o’clock. Levi’s day was winding down considerably while Eren’s was just getting started.

 

The brunette was in the kitchen with ingredients spread over the counters, filling a pot with water. “Okay,” he muttered to himself as he worked, “first, boil the chicken. That’s easy. Not sure how long it takes… but I can just pull out the pieces and check them after it’s been a while.” He plopped the raw breasts in the water and turned the burner on high before turning back to the counter. “After I get that cooked, I need to shred it…” Forks were pulled from the silverware drawer along with a large platter from the cupboard. “And then the simmer sauce while I cook the rice.” The last two ingredients were set to the side for later use.  _ Simple. I got this. I haven’t made anything but convenience food for Levi in a while… It’s time. Based on when he’s been getting done the past few days, I should be able to get this cooked and leave it simmering on low while I pick him up.  _ Eren set to work readying each item so that he would have it handy when it came time to use it. After twenty minutes, the chicken was ready to be shredded. He pulled the pieces from the water and began using the forks to separate them. “Shit!” Chicken shreds flew to the surrounding counters and floor as he wrestled to keep the forks under control. He soon mastered the technique, finishing the pieces and setting them aside to get the simmer sauce and rice. As he was opening the bag of jasmine rice, his cell phone buzzed on the counter. Levi’s face filled his screen. The boy reached over to answer. As he did, rice began spilling from the top of the open bag. “Shit!”

 

“Eren?” Levi stopped walking. He held the cold phone against his cold face while he tried to pull his scarf tighter to block the February wind. “Are you okay?”

 

“Y-Yeah I’m fine! Totally fine. How are you?” Eren plopped the partially empty bag of rice on the counter and began filling his pot with water. He held his phone between his ear and shoulder to get a better grip on the handle. 

 

“I’m good. Tired and fucking freezing, but technically good. You sure you’re okay? Profanity doesn’t exactly scream ‘fine.’” 

 

“Yeah. Promise. I just dropped… something…” He muttered another curse as his phone started to slip.

 

Hearing the mumbled “fuck” on the other end, Levi spoke up.”Okay, well even with all your fineness, I’ll be home soon to check on you and make dinner. I was offered a ride, and instead of making you get out in this cold again, I decided to take it.” He waited for a response. Instead, he heard silence followed by the two beeps that signaled a dropped iPhone call.  _ Yeah, no. Home we go.  _

 

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.” Eren set the pan of water down and gingerly plucked his waterlogged phone from it.  _ Fuckity fuck. And this isn’t even that old either. Okay. Just get this place clean...ish. Then get Levi. That’s why he was calling anyway. He’s probably almost done. I should have about ten minutes before he wraps up...  _ The brunette focused first on the phone, grabbing a second bag of rice from the cupboard, opening it, and sticking the phone resolutely inside. He made sure the device was covered before placing a clip on the bag and replacing it, turning back to the kitchen. The chicken was in a pile on the platter. It could stay there. The simmer sauce was sitting next to it. Also fine. The pot of water should probably be replaced since it had recently contained a phone. He dumped out the old water and refilled the pot, then set it on an empty burner. As he was about to begin sweeping the rice, he remembered the supplies he had dumped on the couch.  _ I need to hide those for later… He can’t see them.  _ Abandoning the rice, he moved to the living room and grabbed the bags of supplies.  _ Still have a few minutes…  _ He took advantage of the time and began placing items around the bedroom.  _ Candles… maybe cliche but pretty… and romantic.  _ White pillars were scattered around the room, at least one gracing each sturdy surface.  _ Next, truffles.  _ Chocolates joined the candles as Eren garnished the room. When he was finished, he set the last bag of supplies aside.  _ Now for Levi. He should be done by now.  _ As the boy left the bedroom, he was greeted by a pair of icy eyes peering out from a mound of scarf. 

 

Levi shut the front door and made his way to the kitchen. He removed his layers, draping them over a stool at the breakfast bar. When he was free, he took a moment to look around him. Rice was still scattered all over the floor. There were chicken shreds on the counter. Water had been dribbled from the sink to the stove. A pot that had obviously been used to boil chicken was sitting dirty on a burner. The man absorbed his surroundings, stifling the urge to grimace at the mess. He glanced over at Eren. “Been busy?”  _ At least he seems okay… a little flustered maybe, but in one piece. _

 

The brunette shuffled over to where Levi was standing in the middle of the kitchen. “Uh… yeah.” He gave a sheepish smile as he took his place in front of the stove to resume the meal. “I was about to leave to pick you up. How did you get home?” 

 

Levi joined Eren by the stove and began opening the jars of simmer sauce. “I was actually offered a ride. Weird, I know. I make it a point not to give other students the impression that I want or need friends… but casual acquaintances don’t always hurt.” He suddenly remembered the dropped call and asked, “What happened when we were on the phone? You were suddenly gone.” 

 

“Oh… that…” Eren reached up and opened the cupboard, pulling the second bag of rice down and taking the clip off the top. He dug in the rice until he found his phone, pulling it out and displaying the dead screen to Levi. “I may have possibly dropped it in the water for the rice…”

 

The man couldn’t help but laugh. A short, sharp sound left his throat before he reigned it in. “I’m sorry, babe. We can get you a new one tomorrow.” 

 

“No, this will work. It just takes a few days… or weeks…”

 

“Fuck that. I don’t want you unreachable. We’ll get you another. Besides, when I got you that one, I made sure to get insurance on it. No offense.” He grinned once more and turned on the burners for both the rice and the sauce. 

 

“You don’t have to do that! I wanted to surprise you… or at least do everything so you didn’t have to. You’ve been so busy and tired lately.”

 

Levi leaned up and kissed the boy softly. “You’ve done a lot. And I don’t want you to do everything. It’s your Valentine’s Day too.” Eren relented, and the two worked to finish dinner together. When it was done, they set the table and filled two plates, Levi going to make drinks for both of them. 

 

“Mixed drinks? You never make mixed drinks.” Eren happily accepted the drink that was placed in front of him and took a sip. “Mmmmm what is this?” 

 

“A White Russian.” Levi took a sip of his own, much stiffer bourbon sour.

 

“It’s delicious.” 

 

Half of the boy’s drink was gone before Levi noticed that Eren had yet to touch his food. “Hey.” He nudged his foot beneath the table. “Eat please. I didn’t exactly make that virgin.” 

 

Eren laughed and dug into his food. “Yeah, yeah. One drink isn’t going to do me in.”

 

Levi ate as well.  _ Mhm. _

 

When their plates were clear and the kitchen was clean, Levi sat back down with his laptop. “What are you doing?” Eren was indignant. “It’s a holiday.” 

 

“It’s Valentine’s Day, not Christmas. And I won’t be long. I need to submit my notes on this article so I don’t forget. Give me ten minutes, and then I’m all yours.” 

 

Eren huffed but allowed the intrusion on their time.  _ I need to go get the room ready anyway.  _ He took the opportunity to grab a lighter from a drawer, told Levi that he was going to go change into lazy clothes, and disappeared into the bedroom.  _ Candles. Get those first, then the other supplies.  _ Starting to the right of the door, he began working his way around the bedroom, lighting candle after candle until the room glowed. When the lighting was satisfactory, he pulled the last bag out from its hiding spot and removed its contents, scattering them on the bed. The items ranged from cliche to edgy, and Eren was proud to have chosen them himself.  _ Okay. Now for Levi. _

 

The shorter man was just shutting his laptop when Eren emerged from the bedroom. “That took you a while. I thought you were just changing…” He glanced at the lighter still in the boy’s hand. “...with that.” He took the lighter gently from Eren and placed it back in its home before approaching the bedroom.  _ What did he…?  _ His question was answered when he opened the door and let his gaze wander over the room. Illuminated by the dancing flames, the bed and surrounding decor looked soft and warm. Taking a few steps inside, he noticed the truffles scattered among the candles. “Went all out, did we?” Levi unwrapped a milk chocolate truffle and held it up to Eren’s lips. 

 

“You’ve been working so hard…” The boy accepted the candy, chewing and swallowing before continuing. “I wanted to spoil you… and Valentine’s Day seemed like the perfect opportunity. And I know it’s nothing too orig-“ He was cut short by Levi’s lips on his own. The man kissed him long and deep, chocolate playing on both of their tongues. When they broke apart, Eren panted softly and met Levi’s eyes. 

 

“It’s perfect.” He took another truffle in hand and popped it into his own mouth. “Yours was good. Figured I should try one for myself.” 

 

Eren felt a blush creep up to his hairline as Levi began circling the room. As the man eyed the objects on the bed, Eren felt a moment of trepidation. Shifting his weight to dispel the awkwardness he was suddenly feeling, his back hit the dresser. Something was knocked off balance and tumbled to the floor. When Eren looked to see what had fallen, he was met with a glowing flame rising from a spot on the carpet. 

 

Levi looked at the same moment that Eren did, pulling the boy away and grabbing the throw blanket from the end of the bed. He smothered the quickly growing blaze and peeked underneath the blanket. “It’s out.” Inspecting the blanket, he saw the newly-burned stains and took it to the laundry room. When he returned, Eren was sitting slumped on the bed. “It’s not a big deal, babe. Just an accident. Don’t worry about it.”

 

Eren shrugged. “I know… I just wanted tonight to be perfect. And it’s anything but.”

 

“How do you mean?”

 

“Well,” the boy began, “I almost forgot to take the car today, then I killed my phone, then I made a mess of dinner, then you had to help with dinner because I had made said mess, and then I almost burned the fucking apartment to the ground.” He heaved a sigh. “I’m sorry.” 

 

“Eren.”

 

“And I know you’re going to say you don’t care and that what’s important is the we’re spending time together and that you love me anyway, but I wanted to do something without any hiccups for once.”

 

“Eren.”

 

“So I’m sorry.”

 

“Eren.”

 

“What.”

 

“Do you like photography?”

 

Eren lifted his head from its slumped position. “Levi?”

 

The man repeated the phrase in exactly the same patient tone. “Do you like photography?”

 

Unsure where this was going, Eren replied, “Yes…?”

 

Levi pushed Eren back a bit on the edge of the bed and straddled his lap. “Because I want to take you to a darkroom and see what develops.” 

 

Eren startled himself by laughing loudly as Levi pushed him onto his back. He allowed the smaller man to attack him with kisses and caresses, drinking in every touch. “Hey, Levi?”

 

“Mhm…” Eren felt the sound reverberate in his neck from the man’s lips. 

 

He reached out and held Levi’s head between his hands, guiding it up from its current position. When their eyes met, Eren spoke again. “I love you.” 

 

Levi answered with a long, slow, deep kiss. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Eren.” The boy purred beneath him in response, and he returned to suckling at Eren’s neck.

 

Eren reached out blindly and grasped a couple of the items strewn across the bed. “I do have one question.”

 

“And what’s that?”

 

He held up the objects. “Exactly how kinky do you want to get tonight?” He was sure the entire building could hear Levi’s surprised laughter as it rumbled loudly throughout the room. It was a magical sound, rare and valuable like the man it belonged to himself.  _ Soon, my love. Happy Valentine’s Day. _

 


	39. Twenty-One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all our lovelies!! 
> 
> We're so sorry that this has taken us so long to get out! 
> 
> But here is the second to last chapter of our fabulous adventure :O 
> 
> We're about 2/3rds of the way done with chapter 40 and we're doing our best to get it to you soon, until then, enjoy what this chapter has to offer ^_^
> 
> Thank you all for your continued support <3

Levi shut the front door a bit harder than he meant to as he walked into the apartment. “Stupid mother fucking conference. Why the fuck is this shit event that week? Are they fucking joking? Mandatory for graduation my ass…” He grumbled under his breath as he took his coat off and made his way further into their apartment. 

 

Eren turned the corner from the laundry room and stopped short at his smol, angry boyfriend. It always amazed him how Levi seemed to shrink two inches when he was angry, but if he was angry at you he grew about five.  _ I’m going to have to learn how he does that one day. It’s a very useful skill. _ “Hey babe, how was class? Everything okay?”

 

Levi looked up with fire in his eyes which immediately turned to guilt when his steel gaze met the soft green one of his boyfriend. “Class was fine… I’m sorry though… they scheduled a mandatory conference, and it falls on your birthday… I swear I tried to get out of it, but they won’t let me graduate if I don’t attend…”

 

“Oh… Well, that can’t be helped. You have to go. Not graduating isn’t an option after all the work you’ve put into it. We can do something together when you get back.”

 

“I was thinking that you could have Armin over. That way, you’re at least not alone on your birthday. He’d probably love to spend some time with you anyway.” Levi pulled the shrinking Eren into his arms, the brunette’s head dropping to his shoulder.  _ Please have Armin over. I can’t stand to think of what trouble you could get into if you’re left unsupervised once you’re finally 21… _

 

Eren perked up, eyes regaining some of their previous glow. “Oh! That’s a great idea! I haven’t actually gotten to spend any time with him lately.” He pressed a light kiss to Levi’s lips before wandering off to find his phone to text his friend. 

 

The following weekend rolled around, and Eren saw Levi off at school Friday afternoon as the small group of graduate students loaded into a university vehicle. The younger pressed his lips against the other’s neck as he whispered his farewell. “Je t'aime mon cher. Promise to be safe.”  

 

Levi’s grip on him tightened with his response. “Only if you promise to do the same. Call me if you need anything, and I’ll come straight back. I love you so much, Eren.” 

  
  
  
  


Eren woke Saturday morning to a phone call from Levi before the conference started. “Happy birthday, babe! I hope I’m early enough to be the first person to tell you.” Eren chuckled, thrilled that Levi’s voice was the first thing he got to hear today, even with the man being out of town. 

 

“Thank you, Levi. How was the drive last night?” 

 

“Oh, you know, not too bad. It was only four hours. I still wish I had been able to just stay home with you though.” 

 

“Well, you’ll be home tomorrow. We can do something together then.” The two chatted for a few more minutes, neither wanting to end the call until someone in the background called for Levi to hurry up before they were late. 

 

“Have fun with Armin tonight. I’m sure you guys have plenty to catch up on.” 

 

“Yeah, and you have fun with that stuffy conference.” Eren could practically hear the other man’s eyes roll through the phone. “Love you, babe. See you tomorrow.” 

 

“Love you too, Eren. Please try to stay out of trouble…” 

 

“When do I ever get in trouble?” He faked hurt as they wrapped up their conversation and went about their days.

 

When Armin got to the apartment that evening, he was dressed for a cozy night inside. “Hey, Eren! So what do you want to do? Order pizza? Watch anime?” 

 

“Weeellll…. I was thinking we could go hit up a bar or two. You know… Since I’m 21 and all now… Nothing major, just a drink or two. Then we can come back home.” 

 

Armin’s eyes widened at the suggestion. “E-Eren, you can’t! Levi wouldn’t like it…” 

 

“Aw, come on, Arm… He doesn’t have to know… It’ll just be a few hours…” Eren gave his best puppy dog eyes as he worked to convince his friend. 

 

“Fine… but just one bar!”

 

Four bars and a nightclub later, Eren had had more alcohol than he knew what to do with. Armin was close to the same level of drunkenness, but he was still able to make somewhat rational decisions at the moment. 

 

The brunette finished off his current drink and clumsily plunked the glass on the table in front of him.  _ I miss Levi… I bet he’s bored at that conference… I should call him. Shit, what if he’s tried to call me?  _ He fished his phone from his back pocket, managing to unlock it and tap Levi’s contact. Two rings later a sleepy voice answered the call. 

 

“Eren?” The pulsing music of the club came through the phone as soon as he answered. “Eren, where are you? Actually, no. How much have you had to drink?”

 

“Lebi! We-We’re habing su much fun! I wish you were heere too. I .. I bet yur confresh is booorrinngg. I dun relly know where we are. But errryone is soo nish! Sum nish people even got me some drinks! Arm keeps tryin to make me go but I dun wanna, it’s too much fun! Are-Are you coming back soon?”

 

Levi struggled to catch the actual words behind the alcohol induced slurring, his already deep seated worry screaming in the back of his mind. Quickly swapping the call to speaker, he tracked the GPS in Eren’s phone.  _ Best fucking decision to get that added to our plan.  _ Finding his boyfriend’s location, he groaned internally as the most popular gay club in town popped up. “Eren, listen to me. Are you listening?” Levi waited for the slurred confirmation before continuing. “I’m calling you a cab. I want you to go outside and get some air. Take Armin with you. Wait for the cab to pull up. It’ll be there soon. Okay?” No response. “Eren! Did you hear me?”  _ Shit, he’s really far gone. Armin, what the hell? You’re supposed to be the low key option.  _ Eventually, Eren mumbled his agreement.

 

Levi struggled to keep Eren on the phone with him as the pair went outside. When Eren assured Levi that he was where he was supposed to be, the man hung up and ordered a cab, giving the address for his and Eren’s apartment. He then quickly called Eren back. There was no answer.  _ Come on, babe. Pick up, dammit.  _ He called twice more before deciding to fuck the conference.  _ It’s only two… I can get a car and be back by six… Or sooner if I drive faster. Please make it home safely, Eren... _

 

Outside the bar, Eren and Armin waited for the cab, Armin spotting it first and the two piling in. Eren attempted to speak to the driver, failing miserably. “Take me tuh Lebi’s aparrment,” he slurred with confidence. 

 

Armin looked at Eren. “Oh my god, Eren, he needs the address.” The cabbie chuckled, telling the boys that he already had the address. He took them home, pouring them onto the sidewalk in front of Levi and Eren’s building. Eren led the way inside the building and into the elevator. His previously high feeling was dissipating quickly.  _ Oh, god. This isn’t going to end well for me.  _ When the elevator dinged its arrival, Eren stumbled off with Armin following him and headed to his door. He managed to pull the key out of his pocket before stopping to brace himself against the wall, the hallway spinning sickeningly. Armin grabbed the key that had fallen and opened the door, guiding Eren inside. Armin wandered over to the couch and plopped down, pulling out his phone and calling Erwin. He knew he couldn’t just leave Eren right now, but he also knew that they were both going to be sick as shit and would need a chaperone. 

 

Eren staggered toward the bedroom, stopping by the bed for a moment to get his bearings before beelining for the bathroom. He managed to make it through the door before a wave of nausea hit him like a freight train, stopping him dead in his tracks.  _ Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Toilet. God, please let me make it to the toilet.  _ Eren made it about one step before doubling over, instead aiming for the sink as his body took over, ejecting what he had just forced into it.  _ Oh, thank god it’s mostly liquid. If Levi came home to this… fuck… he didn’t even want me going out tonight.  _ Eren wiped his mouth when the heaving stopped, stumbling over to the toilet and sitting down next to it. He felt so hot. He pulled off his jacket, panting as he felt the next wave of nausea hit. After he finished that time, he pulled off his shirt as well. He laid his head on the cool porcelain, hoping that maybe death would come and Levi wouldn’t have to know about how drunk he had gotten. 

 

Erwin arrived shortly after that, knocking and waiting for Armin to let him in. He gave the little mushroom a once-over and led him into the apartment to the couch. Getting up, he got water and the trash can from the kitchen and made his charge lie down. He asked about Eren, Armin giving a half-hearted chuckle and gesturing lazily toward the bedroom. Erwin went to investigate, finding Eren with his head over the toilet, throwing up loudly into the bowl.  _ Shit, kid. I thought Levi said to take it easy tonight. That’s what he told Armin, anyway.  _ He gingerly approached Eren when he had stopped for a moment, asking him if he needed anything.

 

Eren nodded weakly. “Can you get me the sweatshirt in the top drawer of the dresser? I keep getting cold. And… can you bring me my stingray from the bed?”  _ I don’t even give a fuck that I just asked a fucking gargantuan blond eyebrow model to get me my stingray. I need him. I feel like shit, and Levi’s not here to make me feel better. I need my other Levi.  _ Erwin obliged, grabbing the sweatshirt and stuffed animal and bringing them to the shaky brunette. He then disappeared again, this time returning with a tall glass of water. 

 

“Try to drink this. I realize it may be a wasted effort at this exact moment, but-” He was interrupted by Eren gagging and leaning back over the toilet. “I’ll just go keep an eye on Armin. I know you have my number. If you need anything, just text me.” He winced as Eren retched. “Good luck…” With that, he returned to his mushroom who had also begun throwing up.  _ Thank god Eren only turns 21 once. Levi better be here for the next barcrawl. _

 

Eren was miserable. He stayed next to the toilet for a little longer before deciding that the vomiting had waned enough to move somewhere more comfortable. He hadn’t even put on the sweatshirt. Every time he wanted to, he just got hot again with the next round of heaving. He crawled over to the tub, clutching his stingray and the sweatshirt tightly. His phone was still in his pocket. He pulled it out, considering asking Erwin for a blanket but deciding against it. As the screen flashed on, he saw that he had missed 3 calls from Levi and had a screenful of texts as well.  _ I should say something. I know he got us home, so he knows how wasted we got. Ugh. What would I even say? ‘Hey hon, I just finished a half-hour long puking session. How’s your evening going? Yes, I know you told me so.’  _ Eren opened his messages and typed slowly, his head not wanting to focus on the small screen. 

 

**Eren: Sorry I didnt answer thepohne. Still alive i promise.**

 

**Levi: You are never allowed to turn 21 ever again. Please tell me you’re drinking water. And that you’re safe at home and not wandering the streets looking for the cab I sent.**

 

**Eren: Yes to home. No to streets. And earring gave me water.**

 

**Levi: I assume “earring” is your autocorrect’s way of saying “Erwin”**

 

**Levi: Are you actually drinking the water? It only helps if you drink it.**

 

**Eren: ill try**

 

If Levi answered again after that, Eren didn’t notice. He was too tired to focus on the screen anymore. He took the sweatshirt and held it over his chest as chills racked his body. He fell asleep for a little while, only to cough himself awake as another wave of nausea hit. He tried sitting up so he wouldn’t get anything on Levi’s sweatshirt, but his efforts were fruitless. He opted for just turning his head to the side a bit so that most of the puke went into the tub. When he stopped, he noted with discouragement that he had definitely hit the sweatshirt. Eren was sure he would care later, but at the moment, all he could do was lie back down. The tub was hard on his head, so he took the soiled sweatshirt, rolling it up so that the dirty side was in, and laid it under his head. Sleep quickly overtook him. He woke a couple more times throughout the night, once because he was cold and once because he had to throw up again.  _ The tub was a good idea. At least i didn’t get it all over the floor. I can clean this up tomorrow. Levi doesn’t have to know.  _

 

Levi finally arrived back at the apartment at five that morning. He hurriedly exited the elevator as it reached the fourth floor, rushing to the apartment door and letting himself in. He saw Armin curled up in Erwin’s arms, both asleep, with a clearly used trash can and half empty glass of water sitting nearby.  _ Well, shit. If Armin aka the responsible one was drunk enough to get sick…  _ Levi wasted no time making his way to the bedroom. He checked the bed. Finding it empty, he moved on to the bathroom.  _ There’s no way that he’s not sick. Not after how he sounded on the phone and how far gone Armin is…  _ Levi tentatively opened the bathroom door, not sure what he would find. He let his gaze wander as he walked through the room, taking in the still-full water glass and the toilet that Eren had forgotten to flush. Finally, he stopped at the tub. His brat was passed out, shirtless, with his stingray on the floor outside the tub beside him. His phone was next to the stuffed animal, both shielded from the obvious rounds of vomiting that the boy had endured.  _ Oh, god, Eren. Why the fuck couldn’t you have just stayed home and had a quiet night in with Armin? Oh, my god. There’s puke on you. It’s everywhere. Gross…  _ Levi grimaced as he carefully placed his hands on Eren’s shoulders, shaking him gently.  _ I need to clean him up and get him in bed. He needs real sleep.  _

 

Eren stirred unwillingly, his head and stomach telling him to ignore whoever was trying to wake him and stay still. “Ungh. Go away.” Eren croaked, peeking one eye at who he assumed was Erwin.  _ Fuck.  _ “Levi…” He tried to focus on the man’s face, but opted to close his eyes again as the room spun. 

 

Levi was all business. “Okay, kid. I know you feel like shit, and I know you probably just want to sleep, but you’re covered in your own vomit and it’s fucking disgusting, so get up. You’re taking a shower. I’ll help you. Then you’re going to bed. In a bed.” Levi wrapped an arm around Eren’s shoulders, helping him sit up. 

 

Eren started fighting the help, but soon realized that he was actually not capable of doing this particular thing on his own at the moment. He allowed Levi to get him to a standing position before weakly shoving him away. “I can do it. M’fine.” 

 

Levi shot the boy a disbelieving look. “Sure. Yeah. No, you go right ahead. I’ll just wait here.” He leaned against the counter, quickly stepping back when he realized that there were splatters of old puke there too. “Good god, Eren, how much did you drink last night?! Or better question, where else did you throw up? Really, I need to know.” He looked to Eren for an answer, watching him strip down to his boxers before grabbing the shower door for support. Levi crossed the room and attempted to help support him but was dismissed. 

 

“No, I can do it. And I don’t think I threw up anywhere else. Just the sink. And the toilet. And then the tub…” Eren decided to stop talking as the effort was making him feel sick again. 

 

“Is that all?” Levi made sure the boy was safely in the shower with the water on before turning to start on the tub. He picked up the sweatshirt, unrolling it and dropping it in disgust.  _ This is MY sweatshirt. He got puke on MY sweatshirt.  _ Levi glanced down to the stingray and the phone safely on the floor outside the tub.  _ Of fucking course he protects the fucking stingray.  _ He dropped the soiled garment in the laundry hamper before moving the stuffed animal and phone to the counter and grabbing his cleaning supplies. He had just sprayed the tub down when he heard a sound from the shower. 

 

Eren did his best to stay upright, clutching the walls and focusing on the feeling of the hot water on his skin.  _ I don’t know if I can do this. Why didn’t I let him help me?  _ He slipped a bit as his head spun, managing to keep from falling over as he righted himself.  _ Shit… I need to stop being dizzy. It’s making me sick again…  _ As soon as the thought crossed his mind, he felt a sudden pang of nausea and immediately bent over, retching onto the shower floor.  _ How the fuck is there anything left?  _ He continued for a few moments, falling to the tile, no longer able to devote enough strength to his limbs to keep him standing. 

Levi sat up, knowing that his brat had just fallen while puking.  _ Okay, enough of this independence shit. I don’t care if you’re legal, and I don’t care if you don’t want my help. I’m your fucking boyfriend, and I’m doing whatever I fucking please to keep you from dying in the fucking shower after you were stupid enough to drink your weight in god knows what.  _ Levi opened the door of the shower, stripping his clothes off and walking around behind the crouching boy. He knelt, holding Eren as he shook, his body heaving. When he was confident that the puking had stopped, he gently held Eren around the waist and stood with him, placing the brunette’s arms around his neck. “Babe, let me help you. You’ve never been this drunk. You need help. Just hold onto me, and I’ll get you cleaned up and in bed, okay?”

 

Eren nodded into Levi’s neck, too exhausted to speak. Levi quickly washed Eren, making sure all the vomit was gone before guiding him out of the shower and into a towel. He helped dry the boy off before scooping him up and placing him on the end of the bed while he found pajamas and assisted Eren in putting them on. Eren was too spent to move on his own by that point. He looked at Levi from his perch on the end of the bed and grabbed the man’s hand as he walked past, on his way to put the towels with the dirty clothes. “Levi… can you help me get in bed? I don’t know if i’ve ever felt this weak. Even talking seems hard.” 

 

Levi left the towels where they were, coming over to Eren and lifting him once again. “Of course, babe. I’ve got you.” He laid Eren in bed, pulling the covers over him. “I’ll be right back. I want to check on our house guests. Get some rest, okay?” Eren nodded faintly and closed his eyes. Levi found Erwin in the kitchen, hunting for something. “Need anything?”

 

“Any chance you have a large bowl or a small bucket? I need to get Armin home, and just in case…” Erwin trailed off, looking hopefully at Levi. 

 

Levi rubbed his face tiredly. “Well, if he hasn’t thrown up in the last ten minutes, he’s doing better than Eren.” Levi showed Erwin where the bowls were, telling him to just keep it if it ended up being used. After closing the front door behind Erwin and Armin, he heaved a sigh.  _ Okay, Levi, bedtime. Let’s hope Eren can sleep for a while too.  _ He walked toward the bedroom, stopping and groaning internally when he heard a familiar wet cough coming from inside. He lowered his head, pinching the bridge of his nose.  _ Are. You. Fucking. Kidding me.  _

 

Eren awoke from his brief sleep, covering his mouth as he began to cough up stomach acid.  _ No, no, no, no, no. Not in the bed. Anywhere but the bed. Levi’s going to kill me… He never wanted me going out at all.  _ He started to cry as he got sick, dread filling him as he watched Levi enter the room. 

 

Levi approached the bed, knowing it was too late to keep anything clean. He went over to Eren, his bristly demeanor shifting unexpectedly as he heard a small voice in between the heaves. 

 

“I’m sorry…” Eren’s tears were blurring his vision. He felt awful. He sniffed when his body finally stopped its lurching, shakily leaning back and trying not to meet Levi’s eyes. 

 

Levi watched the boy panting and trying to catch his breath. He tried to stay angry but couldn’t.  _ Shit. The brat is miserable. I bet he hasn’t even tried to drink water since last night, not that that would have mattered when he was this sick. He must be completely dehydrated…  _ Levi left briefly, returning with a new glass of water. He came around to Eren’s side of the bed, gently pushing him forward and positioning himself behind him. “Drink.” He held the glass to the boy’s lips, frustration flaring when Eren shook his head. “Kid, you need this. You’ve thrown up god knows how many times since last night. Please, for me, drink. If you don't drink this now, then I'm going to have to take you to the ER and have them put an IV in you. Now, water?” He sighed in relief when Eren took a tentative sip, swallowing and leaning back against Levi’s chest. 

 

“I’m sorry, Levi. I didn’t know how much I drank until it was too late. If it helps, I feel like shit.” 

 

Levi kissed the boy’s head, making him sip at the water again before carefully picking him up and setting him down on the floor by the bathroom door. He left, returning with a large bowl and grabbing Eren’s glass of water. Once the boy was set for the next few minutes, Levi went to work stripping the bed and starting a load of laundry. He came back with a change of sheets and another comforter. As he made the bed, he kept an eye on Eren out of the corner of his eye.  _ Well, no more puking yet. That’s good, especially since I have a feeling that as soon as this bed is made, we’ll both be passing out in it.  _ Levi finished making the bed, tossing the pillows back into place and going to retrieve Eren. He nestled the boy in the bed, getting in next to him and letting Eren lay on his chest. “Okay, we both need sleep. Just one thing though. If you think you’re going to throw up again, please, for the love of god, tell me or slap me or pull my hair or something so I can grab this bowl for you, okay? Promise me.” He watched as Eren nodded sleepily on his chest, eyes never opening. That was the most that either of them moved for the next several hours. 

 

Levi awoke hours later, Eren sleeping soundly on his chest. He carefully disentangled himself from the boy, wanting him to sleep this off as long as he possibly could. _His head’s going to be killing him when he wakes up…_ Levi went to the bathroom, retrieving a couple of aspirin tablets and leaving them on the nightstand with Eren’s mostly full glass of water. _And he’ll be finishing that as soon as he’s able to._ _And probably another._ Entering the kitchen, Levi started making something to eat, not bothering to make any for Eren, knowing he wouldn’t be eating anytime soon. He ate, then finished cleaning up the bathroom and straightening and cleaning the living room from where Armin and Erwin had camped out all night. As soon as he was settling down with his research, he heard a muffled groan coming from the bedroom. Levi got up to investigate, finding Eren curled in a ball in the middle of the bed, arms wrapped around himself, eyes shut tight against the light in the room. Levi approached the bed, sitting down next to the boy and running his fingers through Eren’s hair. 

 

Eren managed to get his eyes open for a moment, quickly shutting them when he got an insta-migraine from the harsh daylight. 

 

Levi couldn’t help but chuckle.  _ Serves you right, honestly. What the fuck were you thinking last night?  _ “How’s your day going? Do anything fun? Good birthday?” 

 

Eren furrowed his brow. “I’m glaring at you if you couldn’t tell. My day’s perfect. My favorite thing to do is throw up nine times.” He paused. “At least, I think it was nine. It was at least eight.” 

 

_ Okay, time for water. If you didn’t want water, you shouldn’t have told me that little piece of information.  _ “Come on, kid, I need you to sit up. I’ll help. You need water. Now.” Eren started to protest, but Levi quickly cut him off. “You haven’t gotten sick in hours; you should be able to keep it down. If not, oh well. But you have to try.”  Levi slid an arm around Eren’s hunched shoulders and gently lifted him into a sitting position, Eren grabbing at his shirt as the room shifted around him. 

 

“Wait a second… please… I’m really dizzy…” Levi waited patiently as Eren adjusted to being upright, rubbing circles into his back. When Eren felt confident enough with sitting up to open his eyes, he looked at Levi as a confirmation. 

 

Levi took Eren’s cue and first handed him the white pills. When they were in his mouth, Levi held the water to his lips, not trusting the shaky boy to hold the glass. Eren obediently swallowed the pills, waiting a moment before continuing to drink from the glass. 

 

_ Holy shit, this is delicious.  _ Eren eagerly drank the water, Levi first relieved and then understanding as he took the water from the boy. “Wait, no, I’m still thirsty. You wanted me to drink it…”

 

“Yes, I did, but you’re going to make yourself sick again at this rate. Wait a minute for it to settle, and then you can have more.” Levi smiled at Eren's pleading expression. “Trust me, kid. I'm glad you're thirsty, but you have to be careful.” After a couple of minutes, Levi let Eren drink the rest of the water. “Are you hungry at all? I know you would feel better if you could keep some food down.”

 

Eren considered whether that was a good idea or not. “I can't tell. I still feel gross, but not nearly as gross as before. It's mostly my head now. I can try…”

 

Levi took that as a yes, thankful that Eren wasn't feeling quite so miserable anymore. The boy hadn't been hungover enough to know how to properly deal with it, and when he didn't listen to Levi, it made everything harder. Levi left Eren in the bed, quickly going to the kitchen and making him some buttered toast. He grabbed a strawberry yogurt from the fridge and made his way back to the bedroom, food in hand. He sat on the edge of the bed and handed Eren the plate along with a spoon and a napkin. 

 

Eren eyed the food, very unsure as to whether this was going to end well. He gingerly took the plate and set it on his lap. Taking a breath, the scent of the hot toast and salty butter filled his nose. Immediately, he covered his mouth, stomach lurching as his eyes grew wide.

 

Levi reached over to the nightstand, grabbing the bowl that was still there from that morning. He removed the plate from Eren’s lap, putting the bowl in its place, watching the boy anxiously as he gagged over it.  _ He’s got to be almost done with this part of the experience. Come on, kid.  _ Levi watched as Eren gagged again, nothing coming up either time. The boy’s eyes watered as he struggled. Eventually, the dry heaves stopped, and Eren took deep breaths as he sat back against the pillows. “So…” Levi began, “maybe food later then…?”

 

Eren nodded, tears still leaking from his eyes as he stared at the blanket. He sniffed, wrapping his arms around himself. “I’m sorry, Levi. I really wanted to be able to eat that for you. I know you never wanted me to go out in the first place. I really didn’t think I would get this bad…” He looked up as Levi wiped his tears with his thumb.

 

“I know you didn’t. And I don’t know why I was surprised that this happened. It was your 21st birthday, and you tend not to shy away from alcohol when you have the option of drinking it.” Eren blushed and dropped his gaze again. “Hey,” Levi lifted his chin. “I have something important I need you to know. Honestly, it could change the whole dynamic of the situation here.” 

 

“What is it?” Eren mumbled, still embarrassed, but curiosity piqued. 

 

Levi took a deep breath and gave Eren a solemn look. “People get shitfaced on their 21st birthday.” There was a beat of dead silence before Eren let a smile cross his face. 

 

“You’re kidding.”

 

“Swear to god.” 

 

“Wow. Groundbreaking.” Eren’s smile grew as he relaxed into the bed, Levi giving him a smirk before taking the food away so Eren wouldn’t accidentally smell it again. When the man returned, he had his laptop. He climbed onto the bed next to Eren, making himself comfortable before opening the computer and setting it between them. “What are we doing?” 

 

Levi glanced up from his login screen. “Well, Ocean Eyes,” he said deliberately as he typed his password, “we’re going to lay in bed and watch whatever you want while your body deals with everything you drank last night. And then later, we’re going to eat. Both of us.” He kissed Eren on the temple before sliding down a bit in the bed. “What’ll it be?”

 

The boy considered his options, finally typing something into the search bar. He glanced tentatively over at Levi. “Anything I want, right?”

 

“Right.”  _ Oh, god, now what? _

 

Eren pressed play, re-adjusting the laptop and snuggling up beside Levi as the sounds of soft Scandinavian folk music filled the room. “You let this happen.”

 

_ Oh my fucking god. Is he kidding? First the animal movie, and now this?  _ “I realize that…” Levi wrapped an arm around Eren and resigned himself to the next hour and a half of his life. “I managed to avoid this for years, you know.”

 

“Well, I don’t know why you would have watched it until now… But this movie is like comfort food. It makes me feel better. Frozen is a classic.”

 

“You think they’re all classics…” The man jumped a bit as Eren elbowed him in the side.

 

“They are. Now be quiet, or I won’t try to eat later.”  _ If he wants to make fun of quality entertainment, I’ll hit him where it hurts. _

 

_ Brat.  _ “Fine.”  _ But only because you’re cute. And because I love when you curl up to me like this…  _

  
The two watched the movie, Eren falling asleep on Levi halfway through. The man opted to let him sleep, knowing he had gotten little to none last night and not nearly enough this morning. He slept as well, closing the laptop and letting his head fall back into the pillows. When they woke again, it was evening, and Eren was able to eat a small portion of the mild dinner Levi made before handing the plate back. The man accepted it, glad the brunette could finally stomach food. As the evening wore on, Eren grew tired again, his body still recovering from the previous night. Levi tucked him in before it got too late. He wasn’t tired enough to sleep yet, but he laid behind his brat, holding him and listening to him breathe.  _ I love you, babe… even if you are a little shit sometimes.  _ After enough time had passed, he too gave in and succumbed to exhaustion, glad that the day had finally ended.


	40. On this Sailboat, Drenched in Sunset

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH OMG GUYS. 
> 
> This is it. The last chapter T^T 
> 
> We're so excited to share this with you and we hope you enjoy it <3 
> 
> We'll also be uploading a chapter afterword with all the songs that influenced this fic and whose point of view it was from and what part of the story it influenced.

 

Eren sat on his and Levi’s bed, feet curled under him. The weight of the current moment was surprising as he stared down at his phone in his hand.  _ I’ve never felt weight that wasn’t suffocating before… This just feels… reassuring.  _ The room was dark save for the bright screen filling his vision. As he took in the photo Maman had sent him, he felt a smile etch its way across his face. 

 

The image featured Maman’s outstretched hand, palm upward, cradling a shining object.  _ White gold layer on the outside… royal blue stripe on the inside… I wonder if they got the engraving right…  _ He sent a quick text to Maman, requesting another photo. When she sent it, his smile grew. Inside the band on the deep blue surface were the words “Ma liberté, mes ailes.”  _ My freedom,  _ the boy read in the simple French script.  _ My wings.  _ Although he had chosen the script months ago and had enlisted Maman’s help in getting the execution just right, actually seeing the finished product moved him more than he thought it would.  _ This is for you, Levi. You’ve given me so much… now it’s my turn.  _ He rose from the bed, closing and locking his phone before returning to the main living area. 

 

Levi was sitting at the table, as always, working on his laptop. He glanced up as his brat strolled into the room. “I promise I’m almost done for the night. I actually managed to complete what I wanted to today.”

 

“It’s okay. I know you’re doing hard stuff, and I know it’s hella important stuff.” Eren slid into the chair next to Levi’s and grinned as the man leaned over to give him a greeting kiss. “I did want to ask you something though…”

 

Levi finished typing his sentence and closed the computer. “Shoot.”

 

“It’s already April. You’ve been working on your thesis nonstop for months,” he paused when he saw the man’s face turn apologetic. “Which is perfectly fine. I promise.” He made sure Levi would not interrupt, then continued. “But I was thinking that it would be really nice to get away for a bit. Just a few days; not too long.”

 

“I mean, it’s still spring break for a few more days. We could leave tomorrow. Although I’m not sure where you want to go…”

 

“Actually,” Eren paused to get his phrasing just right, “I was thinking about heading out on Friday the 13th right after classes. We could be there by four or five if we left straight from school.”

 

Levi propped himself up on his elbows. “And where might that be?”

 

“I miss Maman and Papa.”  _ Plus I want to propose in the perfect spot.  _

 

The man smiled warmly at his boyfriend. “Of course we can go see my parents. I’m sure they’d love it. But why that weekend? We would only have a day and a half total with them.”

 

“I have a French test as soon as classes start again. Dick move on the professor’s part, but that’s just how the material fell. I really don’t want to go on vacation and forget to study or not want to study. Plus I was kind of looking forward to more time at home with you this week.” He returned Levi’s earlier kiss, playing with the man’s undercut as their mouths moved against each other.  _ Come on… that always works with you… think dirtier…   _

 

Levi pulled away first, studying the brunette’s face.  _ All this kid wants sometimes is sex…  _ “I suppose I could be persuaded to stay home.” His fingers traced the boy’s jawline. “I’ll let Maman know we’re coming so she can plan every single solitary minute.” He watched Eren smile in response. “I’m so glad you two get along as well as you do. You deserve each other.” There was no sarcasm or malice in last few words. Levi truly meant that. His wonderful mother deserved a second son, and his wonderful boyfriend deserved a real parent after so long without one.

 

“Just another one of the many things you’ve given me.”  _ So, so many things. It’s time I gave you something just as real and life-changing.  _

 

“You’ve given me just as much, Eren.” Levi stood and located his phone on the counter, dialing Maman. “Never underestimate how much I’ve gained from knowing you.” 

 

Eren didn’t argue. Instead, he listened happily while Levi chatted with Maman, quickly insisting that the man put the call on speaker. The three talked for over an hour, Papa joining in at the tail end of the conversation.

 

“So the 13th is okay for us to fly in?” Levi carried the phone to the kitchen to start dinner, Eren following closely. 

 

“The 13th is perfect! I’ll start planning the menu.” Maman chattered excitedly about the complicated dishes she could make now that she had a few more hands in the kitchen. 

 

_ Well-played, Maman.  _ Eren smothered the grin that threatened to spread over his face.  _ She’s known the date I wanted to come for months. I’m sure everything has been planned for just as long.  _ He automatically became Levi’s second set of hands as his almost-fiance started cooking. The two had become a well-oiled machine in this regard, cooking together much more often than either one of them cooked alone.  _ She sounds completely surprised and excited. I wonder if the whole gang-wife thing helped with that… How often did she have to lie? Did she get so good because she’s been questioned? Held captive?  _ Eren hated the thought of someone holding Maman against her will. His imagination ran wild as he moved around the kitchen.  _ I wonder if she’s ever had a gun pointed at her… _

 

“EREN,” Levi said for the third time. 

 

“Shit, sorry.” The boy returned to the call still on speakerphone and the man at his side. “I was thinking.”

 

“I could tell,” Levi’s voice held a hint of wry amusement. “Anything interesting?”

 

“Nah. Rabbit hole.” Eren shrugged off the question, rejoining the current conversation as best he could. 

 

“I wish I could live inside that head of yours sometimes. Especially when you zone out or go off on random thought trails.”

 

The brunette chuckled, agreeing that it would often come in handy.  _ But not this time. This time, I need every bit of surprise I can get. And I can’t wait, Levi. I can’t wait to see your face. I can’t wait to see your face when I ask you to marry me.  _

  
  
  
  


“I think you’re better at packing than I am. And that’s saying something.” Levi’s brow furrowed even more than usual as he looked at the array on the cloud bed. It was Thursday the 12th, and the next day, they were leaving for Maman and Papa’s. “You’ve been very methodical about the whole thing. Have you been practicing? Is that what you do when I’m working on my thesis?”

 

Eren chuckled as he rolled a couple of shirts and fit them snugly in the bottom layer of the suitcase. “Totally. I take classes every other Thursday at the YMCA.” 

 

“Well, they’re doing a damn fine job of teaching packing 101.” Levi finished his own suitcase and sat down to watch Eren perfect his.

 

What the man didn’t know was that Eren had been planning every detail about this trip since December. He knew every item he wanted to take. During every spare moment, his brain had been connecting tiny lines into a much greater picture that was almost complete. So, so many lines. Maman had helped with many of them. She had been the one to order the ring that Eren had designed. She had found the jeweler in the city, helped Eren describe exactly what he wanted over speakerphone, planned Levi’s favorite menu, gathered supplies that Eren didn’t want Levi finding, and had done countless smaller things. Eren may have had the ideas, but Maman had knitted together every detail seamlessly. Now all that remained was Levi. 

 

Boarding the plane this time no longer filled Eren with the dread it once had. His mind was on more important things. Even so, he waited for Levi to take his place on the oversized plane loveseat. When the man was settled, he looked expectantly at Eren, who wasted no time laying down with his head in Levi’s lap. 

 

“Okay?” Levi murmured as the plane’s engine revved.

 

“Actually, yeah. I mean, we’re still in a hunk of metal that will be flying soon, but it’s a lot easier than last time.” He grinned up at his boyfriend. “Not being blindsided helps.”

 

“I’m still sorry about that…” The man leaned down and planted a kiss in Eren’s hair. “But a lot’s happened since then. You’ve been doing so well, and you’re getting better at handling new things.”  _ You’re the only one I don’t mind being sappy about.  _ “I’m proud of you, babe.”

 

Eren buried his face in Levi’s stomach while the plane took off, ignoring the lighted seatbelt signs. He felt tears well at the man’s words.  _ Oh my god, Eren. If you cry at this, you’re not going to survive the weekend. Man up.  _ When he looked back up at Levi as the plane steadied, he could have sworn he saw wetness in the older man’s eyes as well.  _ Fuck that. Neither of us are going to make it through this weekend without a shit ton of tears.  _

 

Despite being able to mentally prepare himself for the flight, Eren still struggled when there was turbulence. His pulse picked up, automatically sending his adrenaline into overdrive. He began to shake slightly, Levi immediately taking notice.

 

“Hey.” The older man rubbed the boy’s back with one hand and held him securely with the other. “It’s just a little turbulence. Nothing is wrong, I promise. You’re doing so well, babe. Hang in there.” Eren nodded, holding onto Levi a bit more tightly. “Do you want music? Or I could talk to you…” 

 

Eren nodded again at the second suggestion. “I’m not in the mood for music… just distract me.” He kept his eyes shut, but waited patiently for Levi to begin.

 

Levi made himself more comfortable on the leather seat, leaning back into the cushions. “You know what I can’t wait for?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“One day, you and I will be more than this. Not that I don’t love what we already are, but one day, we’ll move beyond this. It won’t just be us living together as boyfriends while we finish school. It will be real life.”

 

Eren stiffened slightly.  _ Did he catch on? Did I mess something up?  _

 

Levi continued. “We’ll have a house somewhere decorated how we want it. And there’ll be an ocean nearby so we can sail. Our boat will be beautiful; simple but elegant in the water.”

 

“Keep going,” Eren nudged when the man paused.

 

A quiet chuckle came from the older man’s chest before he continued. “And there will be kids, I think. At least one kid. You know, I never used to think about kids until that day when you got panicky thinking about them. Now I never really stop…”

 

A warmth spread through Eren’s chest. It stilled some of the shaking and helped him relax further into Levi’s lap. “I like thinking about our kids too.”

 

“We’ll have a couple of houses. One in the US because we’ll need to be able to visit Maman and Papa and go see some of the things this country has to offer, but also one in France if you’re up for it.”

 

“Ew, no way. Hate Europe. Too many beautiful sights and delicious foods.”

 

“Yeah, I thought so.” Levi continued rubbing Eren’s back as he felt the boy relax further. “And of course, I’ll need you as my husband for all of that.”

 

Eren worked hard not to stiffen as he went back on red alert.  _ Don’t propose. Don’t propose.  _ Although he knew the chances of a spur of the moment proposal on a moving airplane were slim, he remained paranoid. “Eventually, yeah. I’ve always assumed we would be together like that one day.”  _ Good. Smooth. Distant future, Levi.  _

 

Levi took the hint. “Of course. One day when school is over and we’re starting our real lives, then we can take that step. Whenever you think you’re ready.” 

 

The pair rode most of the rest of the way in contented silence. Levi sang quietly when turbulence hit a couple of times, but it was largely smooth flying. Finally, the plane touched pavement, and Eren rose from Levi’s lap to disembark. As soon as they were out the curved doorway and on the steps, a familiar car came into view. Maman stood just in front of Papa, the two waiting for the boys. Eren and Levi walked into the warm, outstretched arms of the Ackermans, allowing themselves to be engulfed with affection. 

 

“I didn’t realize you two would be meeting us here.” Levi’s flat voice was muffled by Papa’s shirt. 

 

“Of course we met you!” Maman was indignant. “You visit much more than you used to before you met Eren, but it will never be enough to satisfy us. If you would ever say yes to it, I would say you should just move back in. It would make matters so much easier.” She released Eren and tugged Levi away from Papa so that she could take a turn. Papa amiably latched onto Eren instead. 

 

“Thanks for the offer, but no. We’ll make sure to visit regularly though.” 

 

Maman seemed satisfied with this promise, finally leading the group back to the waiting car. “Fine, fine. I suppose I can live with that.” She linked arms with Eren as they walked, insisting that they sit together in the back while Levi joined Papa in the front seat. 

 

On the drive, the four talked in spurts as they thought of questions to ask each other and comments to make. During the moments when Papa and Levi’s discussions grew momentarily heated, Maman and Eren would murmur conspiratorially in the back. The sense of belonging was never quite so real to Eren as when he was in the company of all three Ackermans. When they arrived at home, the group gathered the bags in the foyer. The house was just as huge as Eren remembered it being, but there was something very inviting about it. The grandiosity of the decor wasn’t at all intimidating as it once had been; it was now familiar and comforting. 

 

Maman readied the meal she had planned, pulling Levi and Eren in to help as always. She insisted it was something simple, but the brunette found nothing simple about the beautifully decorated pastries filled with roasted duck. As the evening approached, the house grew quieter, all parties feeling the exhaustion of the day seeping into them. Before Levi could convince his yawning charge to go to bed, however, Maman stole the boy’s attention. “Eren, would you mind helping me for a moment? I want to show you what I’ve done with the lovely vase you gave me during your last visit.”

 

“Really, Maman, can’t we see that tomorrow? It’s not going anywhere. And if he starts yawning any bigger, he’s going to break his face in half.” 

 

The raven-haired man was waved off as Maman dragged Eren from the room. “You weren’t invited to see anything, dear. I believe I asked your charming boyfriend.” A small smile played on her lips as she rounded the corner and left Levi’s line of sight. When she had the boy in her and Papa’s bedroom, she stopped. “Are you ready?”

 

“Ready?” Eren was perplexed. 

 

In answer, Maman left Eren’s side and crossed the room. She opened an ornate chest of drawers, sifting through soft, colorful fabrics before wrapping her fingers around a small, garnet object. “To see your masterpiece, of course.” She returned to Eren’s side, holding the object out for him to take.

 

The box was soft, so soft that the brunette gawked slightly at how it felt in his hand. It was the first time he had ever felt a velvet so fine, and he delayed opening what he now knew was a ring box so he could enjoy the feeling a bit longer. When his curiosity finally won, he carefully tipped back the top of the box. Inside was Levi’s ring. The pictures, Eren discovered, had not done it justice. 

 

White gold on the outside was smooth and bright, gleaming even in the low light. He carefully pried it from its plush prison, holding it so he could read the inside. “This is perfect.” It was hard not to cry at the sight of the ring, but he managed it.

 

Maman did not. “Nothing has made me happier than the knowledge that you will soon be my son. And I know nothing has ever made Levi happier than loving you.” She took Eren’s free hand, squeezing slightly. “You are precious, Eren.” She kissed one cheek, and then the other. “Welcome to our family.”

 

If the ring was not enough to make the brunette cry, Maman’s words surely were. He felt a lump rise in his throat but managed to choke out a quiet “thank you” before he broke down, returning the ring to its box and hugging the small woman tightly. “But,” he sniffed, “we should probably make sure Levi is going to say yes first.” 

 

“If he doesn’t say yes, I’m taking him to the nearest hospital for a brain scan and a full workup. No one in their right mind could ever refuse you, dear. I’d have half a mind to say yes if you proposed to me with that stunning ring and the love in your heart.” She grinned lovingly at the boy as she brushed her thumbs over the tears coursing down his cheeks. 

 

“Wouldn’t Papa mind?” Eren smiled tearfully back. 

 

“He’d get over it.” Maman finished cleaning Eren up, then returned the ring to its hiding place in her drawer. She led the boy back out to join the others, talking about how she had tried several different looks with the vase he had given her before settling on one. 

 

Levi immediately returned to Eren’s side when the two came into view. “Everything alright?”  _ He looks… not tired exactly, but… weary. Like he’s just been through an ordeal. It was probably the plane. He did well on the surface, but I know the stress took it out of him…  _

 

“Mhm. I’m just tired, I think. And dinner was good… it didn’t help wake me up at all.” Everyone chuckled and chimed in their agreement.

 

“Yeah, I’m about ready for bed myself. Why don’t we head up?” Levi didn’t wait for an answer but led the brunette away from his parents and toward the front staircase. “We’ll see you guys in the morning.” 

 

Eren didn’t argue. The events of the day had indeed worn him down. Levi just didn’t know what each of those events happened to be. He followed the man upstairs and into the room they had shared during their previous visit. Plunking down on the bed, Eren let out a contented sigh. His voice was muffled in the comforter as he said, “This bed is so comfortable.” 

 

“You think everything is comfortable when you’re tired.” Levi rolled the boy over and unzipped his pants, tugging them off his long legs. “No sleeping in jeans. Help me here.” 

 

Eren relented, sliding off the bed and changing into pjs. When the two were appropriately cozy, they climbed into bed, automatically curling around each other. Despite the events the next day would bring, Eren felt a calm spread through him, allowing him to drift into a heavy, undisturbed sleep.  _ Tomorrow,  _ his foggy brain thought as he lost consciousness.  _ Tomorrow, I get to ask Levi to be my husband. Forever starts tomorrow. _

 

Eren awoke to an empty bed, the sounds of the shower in the next room breaking through his stupor. He hauled himself to a sitting position, pulling out his phone.  _ Good. Weather should be nice. A little chilly at that time, but clear skies and seas for the most part. I wonder how Maman is going to get rid of Levi for the day…  _ His phone buzzed in his hand as he thought. It was a text from Maman. 

 

**Maman: Funny thing. Papa needs Levi’s help with an errand in the city today. Should just be you and I until the evening. We’ll find something to do, I’m sure ;) Perhaps you could help me with some errands of my own…**

 

Eren grinned and shot a text back, marveling at just how  _ good  _ she was at this.

 

**Eren: I guess I could help. It would be really nice to spend some time with you alone. Lucky thing that Papa needs Levi.**

 

**Maman: Lucky indeed.**

 

Suddenly full of energy and excitement, Eren rose from the bed and went about getting ready for the day. As soon as Levi stepped out of the shower, Eren entered the room, stripping and taking his place. 

 

“Easy there, babe. Don’t slip and fall. Water’s wet, you know. And what’s the rush? I’m not even dressed yet.” Levi was indeed completely naked except for the towel draped over his arm. 

 

“Okay, a) I’ve seen you naked about 500 times, and b) are you complaining that I want to be clean?” The man couldn’t exactly argue with that logic, so instead, he turned back to the mirror and continued his morning regimen. 

 

Downstairs, Maman and Papa were in the kitchen, filling it with breakfast scents that made Eren’s stomach growl. As soon as the boys were both seated, heaping plates were placed before them. “Eat up, you two!” Maman smiled broadly as they dug into their plates.

 

Papa took a seat next to them and turned his attention on Levi. “Would you mind coming into the city with me today? I wanted to take care of a few things, and your help would be much appreciated.” When Levi hesitated, Papa continued. “You’ll be back by the afternoon. It would be nice to spend some time with you. Besides, I know your mother would love to steal Eren away for the day.” Maman nodded conspiratorially behind him. 

 

Levi looked to Eren for confirmation before agreeing, but soon he and Papa were gathering their things and moving toward the door. “I’ll see you later, mon coeur.” After giving Eren a quick kiss, Levi let his father guide him out to the car. 

 

As soon as they were alone, a wide grin spread over Maman’s face. She turned on Eren. “Well, let’s get you ready for your prince.”

 

The next several hours consisted of much primping and planning. Eren was whisked away for a haircut first, Maman instructing the barber to make him look “dashing and beau.” She must have been satisfied with the results, because she informed the boy that it was time to get an outfit. That took a bit longer and a few more tries, but eventually, the pair emerged armed with something that they both thought flattered Eren’s slim curves and tan complexion. The last stop for the pair was a casual lunch so they could sit and discuss the plan. Maman ate her soup while Eren laid out how he thought the evening should play out, nodding thoughtfully and doing her best to add inspiration and ideas where she could. “Would it be too much work?” Eren paused to take a few bites of his own food which he had been neglecting. 

 

“This night is going to be one that neither you nor Levi will ever forget. It’s the first night of the rest of your life, as cliche as that sounds. No amount of work would be too much for me. I’ll do everything in my power to help you get things ready.” She offered him a warm smile and laid an encouraging hand on his. “I love you, my dear boy. And I love how you make our Levi light up.” 

 

_ True. He’s their Levi first and foremost. I’m being added, but they’re the ones whose opinions matter the most…  _

 

As if she could read his thoughts, Maman spoke quickly. “And when I say ‘our,’ I am including you, dear. Levi is precious to all of us. You, me, and Papa.” 

 

At that, tears welled in Eren’s eyes. “I hope you know how grateful I am to have you two in my life now. It’s been so long since I had a real Mom. And… I-I’ve never really had a Dad.” He stopped to roughly wipe his eyes on his sleeve. “Sorry…”

 

Maman pushed her bowl back and dropped her spoon into it with a plunk. She stood, taking the few steps to reach Eren’s side. 

 

He glanced up in surprise as she knelt down to his level, wrapping him in a bear hug. It didn’t take long for him to return the embrace. He felt more tears, but didn’t move to stop them. They were tears of joy now. Eren clung to Maman tightly, letting her kiss his head and rub his back, murmuring lovingly to him as he cried. When he felt he could draw back and hold himself together, he loosened his grip on his soon to be mother in law. 

 

Maman pulled back slowly, letting Eren get his bearings before returning to her seat. “I hope you understand how much we cherish you, dear. You’ve got us now. Me and Papa.” 

 

“I… I love you, Maman.”  _ I mean that. So, so much.  _

 

The woman beamed, answering immediately. “And I you, my son.”

  
  
  
  


At 5:30, Levi and Papa finally entered the Ackerman house from their day in the city. As soon as he had crossed the threshold, Levi looked for Eren, finding him in the kitchen getting a drink. “Hey, babe. How was your day with Maman?” Levi leaned up to give his boyfriend a greeting kiss.

 

“It was great, actually. I think I needed that time with her. Thank you for agreeing to go out with Papa.” Eren smiled warmly at the man before making his way to the breakfast bar to sit down with his glass.  _ It’s time, Eren. Make it nonchalant.  _ Eren took a few more sips of his drink before setting the glass on the countertop and turning to Levi. “Hey, Levi?”

 

“Mhm?” 

 

“What would you say to maybe going out tonight?” 

 

“I would say that I never have any complaints about spending time with you, and then I would ask where you had in mind.” He grinned as the brunette blushed.

 

“Actually, I do have an idea. Would it be okay if we went sailing?”  _ Say yes. Please say yes. Sound happy. _

 

Levi started to ask why, but remembered how much Eren had loved their trips out on the ocean before. “I take no issue with that, but should we maybe go when it’s going to be daylight for longer? We would only have an hour or so before the sun sets completely… and that’s if we leave like.. now.”

 

“I think it would be nice to go out in the evening. We can always go out again before heading home, but I’ve been thinking about this all day.”  _ And all week… and the last few months…  _

 

“Well, then how soon can you be ready? Do you have Dramamine, or do we need to go get some?”

 

A small smile played on Eren’s lips. “I kind of took it a half hour ago…” 

 

_ Of course you did, brat.  _ Levi chuckled and slid off the stool he was perched on. “Then go get ready. I’ll get my stuff and head to the car.”

 

Eren acted as calm as he could while walking to the stairs, but once he was out of Levi’s eyeline, that all went away. Up he dashed to Maman and Papa’s room where the new clothes were hidden. He got dressed, taking care not to flatten his well-styled haircut, then returned to the first floor. Papa was waiting as he came downstairs. 

 

“Very handsome. Good choice with the outfit. You’re sure to make Levi swoon.” Papa winked and sauntered off to the study, leaving Eren blushing furiously in the entryway. 

 

Levi sat in the driver’s seat of the car, focusing all his current attention on the music he was selecting for the ride to the dock. He barely glanced up when he heard the car door open and shut. “You ready? I think I can get us there by—“ Levi stopped mid-sentence. “Holy shit, Eren. Is that what you were doing with Maman today?” 

 

Eren smiled and nodded shyly, adjusting his navy cardigan. He and Maman had chosen what he considered to be a high class, sexy yet casual outfit that hugged him in all the right places. Under his unbuttoned navy cardigan was a plain white tee shirt, leading down to a pair of grey khaki pants and short black leather boots. Every piece of clothing fit him like a glove, and any single one cost more than Eren liked to spend on an entire outfit. But for tonight, for Levi, it was worth every penny. “You like it?” He tried to meet Levi’s eyes but discovered that they were busy trailing down his lanky body.  _ I’ll take that as a yes. _

 

“Hm?”

 

“Nothing.” Eren buckled his seatbelt and looked expectantly at the low hanging sun. “Should we get going?”

 

“Uh,” Levi also buckled up, tearing his eyes away from Eren. “Yeah.” The drive was relatively quiet, Levi enjoying the music and Eren planning his words. When they reached the dock, they parked as close to the boat as they could and began walking toward it. As they got nearer, Levi paused for a moment.  _ What is that? It looks like there are extra lines all over the boat… what the hell? Did someone mess with Surveyor?  _ His pace picked up a bit, now anxious about the vessel’s appearance. It wasn’t until they were almost aboard that he noticed that the lines weren’t lines at all, but lights. Someone had strung strand after strand of twinkle lights around the main space on the deck.  _ Did Eren…? No, I’m not sure he could have done this. Not by himself, at least. Nothing is in the way… I can still sail completely fine the way these are strung. _ Once both Eren and he were on the deck, Levi noticed something else amiss. Tucked below one of benches by the bow was a small picnic basket.  _ Snacks? Did Maman do all this? Or Eren too…?  _ “Eren…?” The man met the other’s eyes, both looking at each other as if unsure how to begin. 

 

“Oh, wait. One sec.” Eren swiftly ducked down and started up a small generator that Levi had yet to notice was aboard. Instantly, the deck was flooded with soft, twinkling light. The effect was enchanting, and it changed the mood between the two men. “Yeah, I maybe planned this. We should head out though. The sun will be down soon.” He settled on one of the benches, waiting as Levi took the hint and prepared the boat to sail. They slowly made their way out of the harbor and into open ocean, staying fairly close to shore so as not to get too far out once it was dark. Eren breathed in the salt breeze. “I’ll never take this for granted. This is amazing…” 

 

Levi stayed quiet while he sailed, waiting until they were a small distance from shore before moving closer to Eren. The colors of the setting sun were breathtaking. “You were right to suggest this. Look at that sunset…” The two stayed seated for another moment, both taking in the streaks of color shooting across the fading sky. 

 

The moment was nearly there, Eren knew. He linked his fingers with Levi’s. When he thought the rainbow in the sky was at its brightest, he stood, tugging the man up with him. At the questioning look in the other’s eyes, he spoke. “I need to say something to you.” 

 

“Okay,” Levi swallowed. “Everything alright?”

 

Eren let out a breathy laugh. “We’ll see.” He dropped his smile then and linked his other hand with Levi’s as well. Now they were standing facing each other under the lights and the brilliant sky, hands together, eyes locked.

 

“Levi,” the boy took a firmer stance on the deck of the rocking boat. He took a breath. Not a deep one. He was, thankfully, anything but nervous about what he was doing. He was sure. He released Levi’s hands for a moment and pushed up the sleeves of his sweater. Turning his palms upward, he exposed his wrists. “This is what my life was before I met you. I gave myself these scars because I didn’t find enough worth in me not to.” Not missing a beat, Eren covered his wrists again and added, “The same ones you wrapped up the day we met.”

 

It was Levi who looked nervous now.  _ What are you doing, brat? _

 

Eren continued despite the questioning look in the man’s eyes. “This is who I was. I wouldn’t be standing here if I hadn’t met you” Taking a step closer, he continued. “A year ago today, we were on campus. I had a panic attack - a bad one. Worse than most… and I couldn’t snap out of it. And you did something.” At that point, Eren tenderly placed a finger beneath Levi’s chin, guiding it up to meet his lips. “You kissed me.”

 

_ Oh my god, Eren. What’s happening? What are you- _

 

“And then I kissed you. I woke you up. I couldn’t help it. You were so… beyond perfect. And that was the first time I realized what you truly could mean to me.” Eren’s kiss was deep and heavy, setting the other man’s nerve endings on fire. “And now look at me.” He backed up a bit so he could meet the wide silver eyes below his. “Everything I am now is because of you. You gave me a life, Levi. And-” A small choked sob cut him off then, surprising him.  _ Dammit, hold it together. You’re so close.  _ This time he did take a deep breath. “And you made me want to keep living it.” Nothing could stop the tears now. They welled and spilled over his tan cheeks. “And that’s a really big deal.” Before Levi could respond, Eren backed away suddenly. He turned back to the small basket underneath the bench seat and reached inside. Armed with what he needed, he returned to his former position in front of Levi. He opened his hand, exposing a small box. Tipping the lid back, he positioned himself before his love and dropped down to one knee.

 

_ Oh, babe. Oh, he’s not. Oh my god, he is. Shit, he’s going to make me cry.  _ Levi stared in shock at the beautiful boy - correction - beautiful man kneeling before him. He could only gape in wide-eyed wonder as he heard Eren utter the words that he had wished for so many times. He had just always assumed that he would have been the one to say them.

 

“Levi Ackerman,” Eren said softly in the gathering dusk, “will you continue making me the happiest human being ever to walk the earth by becoming my husband?” He held his breath slightly as he awaited the answer he knew was sure to come. 

 

Levi, instead of answering immediately as Eren expected, bent down to Eren’s level. He met his eyes, and without even blinking, said, “Yes, Eren Jaeger.” Levi cupped his hands around the other man’s. He was surprised to find that Eren’s were steady while his own were the ones quaking. “It would make me mind-numbingly happy to become your husband.” 

 

Eren choked out a laugh, letting the tears flow freely now. Levi’s hands were shaking on top of his, and he quickly pulled his free to present the ring that Maman had worked so hard on. Gently, he pulled it from its plush box, letting Levi examine it in the fading light. 

 

“Oh, Eren.” The raven-haired man gazed at the shining object, barely able to make out the engraving on the inside. “This is…” He didn’t have a chance to finish his thought because Eren took that moment to wrap his fingers around Levi’s hand, guiding it to meet the ring. As Levi felt the cool metal against his skin, his heart began to race. Staring at the ring and feeling the gravity of what had just happened made his breath pick up, balancing out the thump of blood in his veins.

 

“Hey,” Eren said, cradling Levi’s cheek. “Don’t panic.” 

 

Levi gave a breathy chuckle, misty eyes looking up from the ring to meet Eren’s. “This means so much to me… Especially because I know what it means to you… I never thought I would be the one being proposed to.” 

 

“Neither did I, actually… not at first. But then I started imagining how I’d do it… and I mentioned some of those ideas to Maman, and then the ideas became realities. And I went with it.” Eren beamed at his fiance, then wrapped him in a warm hug. For a few moments, they clung together, kneeling on the wooden deck beneath a swath of lights. The moments were quiet between them, but neither of them minded. They watched the fading colors of the sky turn into stars winking overhead. The twinkle lights looked even better with the new backdrop. When the temperature dropped a bit, Eren pulled a blanket from a storage cubby and dragged the basket closer. Maman had packed an array of delicacies for them to eat while they enjoyed their engagement night. Levi had to get up every now and then to adjust a line or move a sail, but most of their time was spent in each other’s arms. Only when Eren began to yawn did Levi start to get up to make the short trip back to the dock. “No, wait,” the brunette started, “can’t we stay a little longer?”

 

“Don’t worry,” Levi sat back down for a moment. He took his time brushing Eren’s windblown hair away from his face and kissing him thoroughly. “We have all the time in the world. You’ve seen to that.” 

 

Eren accepted the affection happily, relaxing at Levi’s words. “I know… but I want this to last a little longer. This night… I’ve been waiting for it for a long time.”

 

“I think I have too.” Levi smiled, then grew more serious. “I love you, Eren. I love you so much that it scared me at first. This is all new for me.” Steel grey eyes met veridian green. “And I promise to be the best husband I am capable of being. I promise to keep you safe and make you feel loved always. I promise to help you thrive the way you help me constantly. I just…” Levi took a breath. “I promise to give myself to you, Eren Jaeger. Fully and completely.”

 

Eren sat still for a moment, taking in the words that had gushed from Levi’s lips. Then, he smiled. “Hey now,” he said with humor in his voice, “save something for the wedding.” 

 

Levi laughed, a sharp, lovely sound that traveled on the wind. “Oh, trust me, babe. I’ve got more.” 

 

“Good,” Eren wrapped his arms around Levi’s neck. “Because you’ve got me for a while.”

 

“Just a while?” Levi feigned disappointment. 

 

“A long while.”

 

“How long?”

 

“Until we don’t exist anymore,” Eren murmured against Levi’s neck, breathing in his familiar scent. He pulled back and met the man’s eyes. “Until the end.”


End file.
